Chapter Text
There was no other way to put it. Ever since Vecna had been defeated and the Upside Down was sealed away for good, Steve Harrington had been a mess. In the thick of it, even during gaps of peace between each and every disaster Hawkins faced, he always had a lingering feeling that it wasn't over. His gut told him to be on guard and to never trust the silence, which worked out for him for those years, until now. Now, it was finally over. The end of the deaths, the trauma, the mystery, and with it, the occupation every ordeal had on Steve's mind. Now, it was empty. There was nothing to focus on, nothing to fix. It was just him and his thoughts.
Steve gripped the sheets of his bed, staring up at his bedroom ceiling. The crickets outside chirped in the warm summer night, filling the silence with their nightly song. Nights like these were startlingly peaceful for him, in a way that was almost off-putting. Defeating Vecna had put his mind in an uncomfortable state, as though he still had service to provide. He had helped save this town on multiple occasions. There must still be something he could do. Otherwise, what was the point of his presence here in Hawkins?
Steve sighed and climbed out of his bed. His alarm clock read 5:32am, which meant it was only a matter of time before the sun rose without him getting a wink of sleep. He had the week off work, which didn't help the feelings he was having. He felt utterly useless. He opened his bedroom door and started down the stairs, not sure what he was planning on doing. After a few minutes of wandering around the kitchen, he decided to call Robin. He picked up the phone and punched in her number, waiting for what seemed like hours for her voice on the other line.
"This better be important."
Steve couldn't help but smile at Robin's grumpy morning voice. "Hey Rob. It's Steve."
"Steve, it is literally five in the morning. Keith closed the store for the week, why are you calling?" She mumbled, seemingly too tired to be mad anymore.
"Uh- Yeah. Yeah, I'm sorry. I guess I just..." He pursed his lips, trying to find the words to explain why he had even called her. "I guess I just needed to talk to someone."
His friend went silent for a moment. "Is it that feeling again?"
Steve sighed. "Yeah. It is."
"Steve, how many times have I told you? You're still an important part of this group, whether you're saving Hawkins or making breakfast for the kids. The Upside Down being out of the picture doesn't change that."
"I know, I know I just-" Steve cut himself off and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I think I'm just gonna go to sleep now. Thanks Robin. Sorry for bothering you," He hung up the phone and pulled his hair in frustration. He loved Robin, but she didn't understand how he was feeling. She had her own way of coping with her trauma, but he hadn't found his yet. All his life, he'd been coping by avoiding problems and throwing himself into something unrelated, whether it be work, his love life, or, after facing the Demogorgon for the first time, trying to save his friends from the wrath of the Upside Down. But lately there was a gaping hole in who he was, and work wasn't doing the trick of filling it.
Steve threw on his gray jacket that had been tossed lazily on the sofa and unlocked the front door, locking it behind him when he was fully sure he wanted to be walking alone when it was this dark out. He drew in a shaky breath and tucked his keys in the pocket of his sweatpants, deciding to go on a walk to the water's edge of Sattler's Quarry. The summer night was peaceful and welcoming as the stars faded above. The sun peeked over the horizon just as Steve arrived at the lake. The sky was dim and new, reflecting a calming shade of pink on the water. He walked up to the shoreline and sat criss-cross on the pebbled ground, letting himself sit with his feelings for a few minutes in the quiet bliss of morning. But, like many times in Steve's life, the peace was soon interrupted.
"Harrington?" A familiar voice spoke up from behind Steve. He turned his head and raised his eyebrows at who showed up. The metalhead wasn't wearing his usual attire, which was unusual for him. Instead, he was dressed in a Black Sabbath t shirt and gray sweatpants, as if he'd left his motel room without changing. His curly black hair was tied back in a lazy ponytail.
"Hey, Munson," He acknowledged, giving a small nod and looking back at the lake in desperate hope that he would leave him alone. But, being the person Eddie was, he ignored that signal and plopped down on the ground right next to Steve. He remained silent for a few awkward moments, grabbing a few pebbles and skipping them across the surface of the lake.
"So, tell me," Eddie mused, breaking the silence. "What is the king of Hawkins High doing up this early?"
Steve exhaled slowly, fiddling with a few of the rocks beneath him. "Just couldn't sleep, that's all," He replied, avoiding a serious answer. "I could ask you the same question."
Eddie laughed shortly. "I guess you could say I was bored."
The silence returned, this time more prominent, as if the quiet itself was begging someone to say something. Steve pursed his lips, already regretting what he wanted to say. But, ignoring his hesitation, he said it anyway.
"Do you ever feel like... somehow, things were easier when Vecna was alive?" He spoke softly, avoiding making any eye contact with Eddie, even when he gazed at him with his curious brown eyes.
Eddie tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear and smiled bitterly. "Sometimes, yeah. Before-" He paused briefly. "Before Chrissy died, I could live peacefully knowing that running away wouldn't hurt anyone. But... after what we went through.. it made me realize that running away only causes more problems in the end."
Steve blinked, looking up to see Eddie's face, lost in thought after his question. He had expected a snarky or sarcastic comment as a response, but it was clear Eddie had opened up to him easily. That made him smile a bit.
"I hear that," Steve replied simply.
Eddie skipped another rock, watching with distant eyes as it made ripples across the smooth water. "What about you?"
"It's..." Steve pressed a thumb into his palm. "It's complicated. You wouldn't get it."
"Try me."
He looked up into Eddie's eyes again, which were now glued to him with extreme focus, as if he were a little kid listening to a bedtime story. Steve looked out at the water, words suddenly coming naturally to him. "It just feels like... protecting Hawkins gave me a purpose. A purpose that I'm lacking now that Vecna is dead. And I don't know what to do with myself now that my purpose is gone."
Eddie squinted. "You know what I think?" He asked, not waiting for a reply. "I think this has nothing to do with your purpose, and more to do with fear."
"Excuse me?"
"Well, you've had the world handed to you on a silver platter. You have a big house, rich parents, a handsome face, girls worship you. You had so many things going on that it gave you a way to distract yourself from the real world. Including your own real problems," He explained, poking Steve in the arm. "But you've changed since high school. You don't have the privilege of ignorance anymore. So you used Vecna as a way to distract yourself."
Steve hadn't realized his mouth hung open as Eddie spoke. Despite the metalhead not knowing him very well, he seemed to have him more figured out than Steve himself. The words he spoke resonated with him. They made sense. "How did you know all of that?"
Eddie shrugged. "Just a shot in the dark," He chuckled. "Turns out you and I aren't that different after all, huh?"
Steve averted his gaze, an unknown feeling stirring inside his chest. "Yeah. Guess so."
Next to him, Eddie lit a joint and drew in a long hit, exhaling directly in Steve's face with a shit-eating grin. "Want some?"
Steve coughed and gave a laugh. "Asshole," He said lightheartedly. "Sure. Give it here."
The time flew by as they passed the joint back and forth, smoking as the sun rose higher into the air. Steve checked his watch while letting the smoke escape his lips.
"What's the time?" Eddie asked, noticing the shift in Steve's attention.
"Quarter to nine," He mumbled.
His friend burst out into giggles next to him. "Four hours! We were out here for four hours," He cackled. "Steve Harrington spent four hours talking to Eddie 'the freak' Munson. You've certainly changed since high school, huh, King Steve?"
"Stop calling me that," Steve grumbled, rolling his eyes, stomping out the joint.
Eddie smirked. "What? Are you not a King then, princess?"
"Shut up," He shoved the metalhead's shoulder playfully, feeling his face heat up at the nickname. He stumbled to his feet, feeling the effects of the pot he'd smoked. Eddie stood up as well, giving a friendly pat on Steve's back.
"Well, it's been grand, princess, but I gotta get back to the lab," He said with a wink. "I'll see you around?"
Steve bit back a disappointed frown. "Yeah, I'll uh, see you around," He gave an awkward chuckle as Eddie walked off in the direction of the motel. He ran his fingers through his messy hair, trying to ignore his elevated heartrate. It was probably just the weed. He stuffed his hands in his pockets and waited until Eddie was completely out of sight before starting his walk back home with a comforted smile. It was thanks to Eddie he could feel the slightest bit normal that morning. It was almost like he understood Steve perfectly, even more than Robin or Nancy. Wow, he really has changed since high school.