Archive of Our Own ^beta

0/5 PAUL & DARYL; the beginning of it all

Daryl Dixon was a different person before the apocalypse. He’ll admit it, to himself not anyone else. Not that anyone else he knew, in the beginning, couldn’t see it. Like Rick, or Carol, or Maggie, or Glenn, or Carl, or any of the others.

But before the apocalypse was not something he spoke of with his family. They knew Merle from before and they never asked. They could assume from his older brother.

Daryl hated that their assumptions were right but they probably would be. He’d gotten too involved with Merle’s stupid drug shit and his gangster friends.

But there was a point in time when Daryl was on his own. Father dead, mother dead, Merle was in jail, he was alone. No friends, no family, only a steady job with a boss who seemed to give a shit about him.

“Because I can see good in ya kid.”

The crazy old man had said when Daryl asked why he gave him so many chances. He thanked god for his boss, the only person who seemed to care.

After Merle went to jail Daryl didn’t know what to do. He went through his routine without his usual interruptions from Merle.

He went to work, for a whole day without it being interrupted by Merle or his friends. No drugs stored in his house, no Merle hiding out, no hookers on his couch. Especially no Merle trying to hook him up with girls or drugs.

On the second day of Merle’s two-year sentence, he ran into someone. He was walking around the corner to get to his job and literally ran into someone.

Daryl watched his and the other's coffee spill all over the man right in front of him. Eyes wide both looked from the stain on the man’s shirt and up to each other’s eyes.

The thoughts that entered Daryl’s mind are things, at the time, he was convinced were wrong. His daddy beat him for the thoughts. His mama cursed him for the thoughts. His brother pushed women on him for the thoughts.

Eyes crystal blue piercing through Daryl’s very soul. His hair was light brown almost glowing like a halo in the early morning sun. It was long enough to fall in front of his eyes and brush the tops of his ears his stubble perfectly trimmed.

It took a moment for Daryl to snap out of it. The man in front of him smirked after catching the looks.

“If you wanted a wet t-shirt contest you could’ve just asked.” The man smirked to which Daryl finally snapped out of it and blushed.

“Got an extra shirt,” Daryl said leading him to the store he still needed to open. That’s how it started.

Daryl gave Paul Rovia a shirt to change into. Daryl let him change in the back room of the motorbike shop he worked at. He might have glanced.

He forgot about Merle, about what everyone would say, about what his own thoughts said. Instead, he went to lunch with Paul every day. He’d go across the street to the art shop and pick him up to go to the cafe down the street. He forgot until Paul kissed him one late night on the empty street outside the shop.

Daryl ran and ignored Paul for three days. He remembered what his daddy said, his mama said, what Merle would do when he got out. It was wrong. Wasn’t it?

“Listen, kid, you gotta think for yourself one day.” He swears to god his boss was a godsend.

He went to Paul’s open art show that night and might have dragged him into a supply closet to make out. By 'might' he means he one hundred percent did do that.

They were together for two years. Two years of dates, lunches, movies, and more. Paul brought out this strange bright light in Daryl that no one had ever seen.

The smiles on his face had never reached his eyes until Paul. Daryl knew it wouldn’t last but he could hold on as long as he could.

Two years it lasted. Daryl ignored the impending doom of Merle being released for the whole two years. Until he was released.

Paul had opened the front door of Daryl’s apartment wearing his sweatshirt. Daryl’s sweatshirt. Paul got a black eye but he didn't seem to care all that much. Before it could go any further Daryl got between them and pulled Paul away out into the hallway. Merle had protested but Daryl just closed the front door in his face hoping he wouldn't come out.

“Wait! Daryl, that’s Merle?” Paul had heard about him. Bad and good, mostly bad since that was a majority of the man’s personality.

“Ya needa go.” Daryl snapped pushing Paul down the hallway.

“What?”

Daryl turned away knowing this would hurt worse than anything had before. He didn’t want to do this god he didn’t. But he had to. It was for Paul’s safety.

“Leave! Don’t come back.” Daryl yelled to which Paul’s eye twitched but he didn’t flinch or step back as other people did.

Daryl loved hated that Paul treated him like a normal human being compared to everyone else. Daryl was always treated like a caged lion who’d strike and kill at any second. Ready with their guns so they could kill him at any possible twitch.

“You’re not out. He doesn’t know about you.” It wasn’t a question but Daryl didn’t confirm or deny it. “It’s been two years, you and I. He comes back and you wanna throw that away?” Paul asked trying to meet Daryl’s eyes. When he couldn’t he grabbed the man’s face gently in his palm.

“Don’t.” Daryl pushed him away eyes fearful and Paul looked at him in sympathy.

“I love you.” Daryl’s eyes widen at what sounded like a goodbye but Paul just smiles at him sadly.

Daryl hadn't said that yet, Paul understood that just because they’d been together for a long time didn’t mean he was ready to say such words. He knew Daryl loved him without the man saying it or even implying it.

Paul knew about Daryl’s past from the nightmares and the stories. He was so understanding that this hurt Daryl so bad.

“But it doesn’t matter does it?” Paul asked already knowing the answer.

Daryl looked away to which Paul breathed out shakily and nodded. Tears pooled in those beautiful crystal blue eyes that Daryl loved to get lost in.

Paul stepped back taking his hand from where Daryl had been holding it. He wiped his cheeks but the tears kept falling. Daryl wanted to pull him back in, he wanted to say it all a joke and he’d kick Merle out. But he didn’t move an inch.

“Throw away my love like it’s trash then, Daryl Dixon.”

With that, he was gone. Daryl left Merle and his loud questions in his apartment. He ran out to his bike and drove.

He drove until his eyes got so blurry that he had to pull over. In the middle of the night on a seemingly abandoned road, Daryl sat on the ground next to his bike and cried.

By the time he got a hold of himself the sun had risen. When the first car passed him he jumped on his bike and headed back. He didn’t want to, hell no but he had to.

Daryl didn’t tell Merle anything no matter how hard he pushed. When Merle joked about him sleeping with Paul, Daryl glared hard.

“'e’s gone, ain’t comin’ back,” Daryl said to which Merle shook his head.

"We’re leavin’ little brother.” Merle said to which Daryl hoped Merle didn’t see the hurt in his eyes.

“Where?”

“Back to Georgia. Back home.”

That ain’t home. Home is Paul.

Daryl followed without voicing his complaints. He packed his things which wasn’t much. While packing he came across some of Paul’s things.

Some clothes, a toothbrush, just some things he left here while staying. Then came the few important things, like his favorite book signed to him by the author. Paul had told him the story of going cross country with his two high school best friends to go see the author.

Then there was that leather bracelet which said both their names on the inside. Daryl held it in his hand running his thumb over the names. He didn’t know where Paul had gotten it but he always wore it, now Daryl had it. And he always wore it.

The next was a polaroid. It wasn’t Paul’s it was Daryl’s and he had kept it pinned to the fridge. It was small enough to put in his wallet so that’s what he did.

It was of Paul. The small wallet-sized picture was of Paul smiling out at the sunrise while he sat on the beach. It was Daryl’s favorite picture.

The last was something Daryl had gotten for Paul. He hadn’t given it to him yet. That small black box with the shiny silver band inside was what made it even harder for Daryl to let go of Paul. In truth, he never really let go of him.

Not long after Daryl and Merle got to Georgia that the dead started to rise. Daryl wanted to go back for Paul but Merle stopped him.

“Don’t care where ya put yer dick. He’s dead. We ain’t goin’ back.” Merle said to which Daryl stood stalk still for a while before his brother yelled for him to move his ass.

Daryl never mentioned it again, and neither did Merle. Well, he kinda did. Merle made jokes that could be interpreted as just a dick of an older brother making shitty jokes. Really they were jabs at his sexuality.

Merle didn’t out him when they found the group in Atlanta though. He was barely a quarter-way decent with it but still. Daryl didn’t intend to ever have another relationship. Paul had been it. So it wouldn’t be a problem with the group or with Merle.

But then Merle was gone again. Cut off his own hand, stupid son of a bitch. Daryl didn’t know what to do with that. He also didn’t want everyone knowing his secrets.

Paul had been it. No one else would come close to that beautiful prick of a man.

Unfortunately, his drunk brain didn’t give a shit. So at the CDC, after way too many glasses of wine, and an empty hallway, he made moves on Glenn.

The kid went wide-eyed at Daryl’s advances. Daryl wasn’t insecure when he was drunk so he didn’t run and hide like usually would. He just kept his hands on either side of Glenn’s head and waited for the answer to his question.

The answer came in the way of, not words, a kiss. Glenn’s hands on the sides of his face pulling him close. Daryl’s hands moving to the youngers hips.

They ended up in Daryl’s room and it was so good. It was good until Daryl moaned out Paul’s name while he came.

Glenn didn’t ask much after Daryl had rolled off of him. The silence almost hurt them both. Daryl knew he’d messed up and went to grab his clothes and leave but his wrist was grabbed.

“I won’t ask if you don’t want me to. I know this,” Glenn motioned between them, “isn’t anything. But I haven’t slept next to someone in a long time. Please stay.” Glenn begged slight fear in his eyes.

Daryl stayed but he didn’t talk about Paul. Glenn didn’t ask. They never told anyone and never outed each other.

Daryl learned from Glenn that bisexuality was a thing. Glenn asked if he wanted to know about all the other things related to their community.

He only asked to know at the farm. They were settled in tents and Glenn was sitting at the fire pit next to him late one night.

“Tell me.” Daryl had said to which Glenn frowned. “‘bout the other things like you.” Daryl hadn’t known how to word it at the time. Glenn told him how.

Glenn told him all about the different sexualities and genders that were included in this community. The lgbtqia+ community as Glenn said it was called.

Daryl knew he’d forget most of these things but he was interested to know about this community he was a part of. Not that he showed it when Glenn was talking about it.

When Glenn spoke he leaned forward in his chair. He had a smile on the whole time. His eyes were bright as he told Daryl that just because there were all these labels didn’t mean anyone, in particular, had to use them.

He liked that. This wasn’t something Daryl had to do. He didn’t need a label if he didn’t want one. He didn’t want one. He loved who he loved, screw everyone who asked for a word to attach to him.

Glenn and Daryl had a weird bond no one understood or looked twice at. It was because they shared something no one else knew. Daryl suspected that Maggie knew about Glenn.

He knew the younger man would never out him though. He was happy about that. Trusting someone with something that shouldn’t matter nowadays but felt like it could be life or death. And it probably could.

Nothing stopped anyone from killing without reason. Or with reason. It made Daryl angry and Glenn agreed with him.

Then Merle showed back up. Glenn had looked directly at Daryl, bruised and bloodied face, he’d said “it was Merle.”

Daryl had learned a lot while away from Merle. He hesitated but went with Merle away from his group because it was all he knew. It’s what he did with Paul but after Merle went to steal from some innocent people who’d just needed help he snapped.

He left Merle and decided his group, Rick, Glenn, Carol, Maggie, all of them were better than his brother. Even after deciding that it still hurt when he found Merle.

His eyes glazed over, bullet wound in his chest, two fingers cut off, dead. He got angry and sad and it hurt so bad. He lay there staring at the body for a long time.

—

1/5 RICK; the day that changes everything

It was just a regular day. Nothing to suspect their lives would change. But it was a day that’ll change their lives forever. Daryl’s especially.

Rick and Daryl hit the jackpot on their run. Big truck loaded with food, medical supplies, and other such necessities. They’d both smiled widely at each other before moving on their way.

Daryl had wanted to stop to break open a vending machine though, one with that stupid pop Denise wanted for Tara. Daryl had hesitated but he’d really do anything for them.

Watching the couples in Alexandria thrive made his heart hurt as if it was a pin cushion. But he couldn’t look away at the same time. Seeing what he could have had.

Everything seemed to remind him of his past lover. His group had tried to set him up with girls in Alexandria. He’d turned down each one of them. They still did it every once in a while. But he can’t forget, can’t let go.

Daryl was broken from his memory fog by a person running into him and Rick. The two immediately threw up their guns to point at the masked man.

The man had a faded bandana around his face. His long brown hair went just past his shoulders, it looked clean. There was a black toque on his head that brushed his eyebrows. The brown leather coat he had on seemed to cover a hundred other layers. It was hot as hell out what the fuck?

Daryl couldn’t get over the eyes between the toque and the bandana. Crystal blue color that pierced into Daryl’s and reminded him of someone from long ago.

The man’s eyes lingered on Daryl for a long while. His hands up in the air in surrender.

“Back up now!”

“Keep ‘em up.”

The man blinked at the shouts and was pulled from his gaze on Daryl. Neither seemed to notice the lingering looks.

“Woah, easy guys. I was just running from the dead.” He spoke softly and the voice was another thing that Daryl recognized. First the eyes now the voice. There was no way.

“How many?” Daryl refused to be pulled back to those excruciating memories.

“Ten maybe more.” Rick stepped back keeping his gun up to check around the corner. “Once it hits double digits I start running.”

“Where?”

“About half a mile back. They’re headed this way, you probably have about eleven minutes.” The man said seeming out of breath and unusually helpful for a stranger.

“Alright, thanks for lettin’ us know,” Rick said putting his gun down. Daryl didn’t.

“Yeah, there’s more of them than us right? Gotta stick together.” His bright blue eyes finally moved from Rick over to Daryl. “Right?”

Daryl wanted to shoot him for having eyes like… like he used to have. It was a moment of hesitation before Daryl finally put the gun down. The man’s hands also came down as well.

“You have a camp?” He seemed genuinely curious as he asked Daryl the question.

“No.” He almost growled out in answer.

“Do you?” Rick jumped in.

“No.”

They all knew the other was lying. It was just a passing feeling between them.

“Sorry for running into you. I’m gonna go now.” He said as if asking so he didn’t get shot. “This is the next world. I hope it’s good to you guys.”

Neither Rick nor Daryl saw but the moment he turned away the man’s face collapsed into sorrow. His eyes instantly filled with tears that fell. He didn’t let his voice waver though.

“I’m Rick, this is Daryl. What’s your name?”

The man stopped and he paused with his back to the other two men for a moment. It was as if he was preparing, composing himself.

It was longer than the other two would think from anyone. The man quickly ran his gloved hand along his face before turning back. No tears or red eyes to be seen.

He hesitated when he reached up to pull down his bandana. Both saw the hesitation but paid no mind to it.

Daryl almost broke down right then and there when the man removed the bandana. His knees shook, his eyes welled up, the crystal eyes never left Daryl when revealing his face.

He hesitated again before putting on a smile unsure. It was Paul. His hair was longer, his beard was also longer, but Daryl understood the voice and eye recognition now. It made sense. He’d pushed it away not wanting it to be true but it was.

“Paul Rovia.” He put his hands up as if to display himself. “By my friends used to call me Jesus. Your pick.” He smiled and Daryl didn’t speak. That was all Rick.

By the time his brain caught up with what was happening Rick was about to ask him the questions. Wait, wait, hold on.

“Nah, no man not this guy.” Rick continued even with Daryl’s protests.

He honestly didn’t know why he protested at first. But thinking about it, Paul had run away. Daryl understood, so he decided he wouldn’t follow. He just had to convince Rick of that.

“He was clean, his beard was trimmed. There’s more going on there. We should follow, see if he really is alone. Invite him back maybe.” Rick tried but Daryl shook his head. He didn’t want more pain either. Maybe that was selfish, no it definitely was selfish.

“Nah man, guy calls himself Jesus—“ Daryl was cut off by gunshots.

The two of them rounded the building figuring out they weren’t gunshots. They were firecrackers and Paul had stolen the truck keys. Little prick.

—

They spent the entire day running around chasing and being chased by Paul. Daryl was unsure if Paul even remembered him.

He didn’t feel all that bad punching him in the face though. There might have been some leftover anger from their breakup. He wouldn’t punch him again, just once was enough.

Then Paul got knocked out and Daryl rushed to his side checking for a head wound and pulse. Neither, that’s good. He stood up straight as Rick walked over a skeptical look on his face but he didn’t ask.

Of course, Rick had to be an ass and turn the car aggressively so Paul’s unconscious body leaned on him. He pushed the man into the window twice before telling Rick to cut it out.

Rick watched as Daryl handled the man with more care than usual strangers. That and a few other things through the day were beginning to make Rick suspicious of something. What? He didn’t know yet.

He did end up asking later. After they brought Paul to Denise. After Daryl had cradled his head, after Daryl had placed him on the table carefully, after Daryl brought the man a fucking cookie from Carol.

“You good man?” After Daryl had volunteered to watch Paul for the night.

“Yeah, why?” Daryl said settling across the room not looking away from Paul.

“Dunno. You’re acting weird since we met this guy.” He still doesn’t look at Rick, continuing to watch Paul’s unconscious body. A pillow that Daryl had brought under his head, a blanket that Daryl had brought under him for comfort.

“Not actin’ weird. Yer weird.” Daryl shot back making Rick chuckle.

“Alright, whatever man.”

Once the door closed Paul lifted his head. Daryl refrained from jumping at the sudden movement. Hadn’t he been unconscious?

Paul’s blue eyes met his, they were soft and amused. Daryl got lost in them like he used to only being snapped out of it by the man’s voice.

“Acting weird huh?”

“What’s it to ya?”

Paul let out a small sound as he pulled himself into an upright position against the wall. He adjusted the pillow and blanket. He also glanced at the cookie then up at Daryl.

They both sat in silence as if not knowing how to start. Did they ask questions? Did they start accusing the other of something? How does one go about a conversation after finding their ex in the apocalypse when they thought they were dead?

Paul just reached for the cookie but didn’t take his eyes off Daryl. He hummed in appreciation as the taste hit his tongue. He hadn’t had chocolate chip cookies since before the world went to hell.

“This is really good.” Paul waved the last bite of the cookie.

“Baker ain’t here. I can get another…”

“There is no way we’re gonna have a regular conversation about cookies right now,” Paul said soft chuckles moving through his chest as he swallowed the last bite.

His eyes moved over Daryl’s body taking in his new appearance again. Longer hair, worry lines more defined, his arms were also much more defined, and he carried himself in a different way. Like he had important people to protect.

Paul wondered how many. He wondered if Daryl had close people, family, maybe a boyfriend. He wanted to smile at the thought of the man he had once loved being happy. He also wanted to punch the guy for it.

“Fuck Daryl… to be honest, I’m not surprised you lasted this long. I am surprised we ran into each other.” Paul said watching the other man’s reaction. Daryl’s shoulders sagged in a way he wished was relaxation but could also be sadness.

"Ain’t surprised ya lasted.”

There was another beat of silence and they both felt the awkward energy. Daryl couldn’t bare it. He stood and moved to leave only making Paul scoff.

“Yeah, run away like always.” Daryl froze and turned.

“I didn’t.” At those two words, Paul rolled his eyes so hard it hurt, not as much as this conversation though.

“You did! Actually, you yelled at me to leave! Then you ran off with your brother never to be seen again. I’m gonna ask you the same thing I did outside your apartment.” Daryl shook his head turning away.

Throw away my love like it’s trash then, Daryl Dixon.

His face scrunched up and his eyes stung at the memory. He hated it. He wanted to hate Paul. But he couldn’t. Not when the cold silver that was attached to a cord tied around his neck burned a hole in his chest. It burned one so deep it made his heart burst into a thousand pieces, and not for the first time.

“Why’d you throw us away like that?” His voice was quiet, broken, hurt, everything Daryl didn’t want him to be.

He couldn’t take this.

“Yeah, run away, go hide.” Paul scoffed to which Daryl stopped at the door.

“Screw you, Rovia.”

“You already did that.”

—

2/5 AARON; the run

Runs were a regular thing around any of the communities. As the days moved forward the people got closer.

Maggie became the leader of The Hilltop after Gregory continued to almost kill the community completely. Carol and King Ezekiel were going strong, she refused to call herself Queen though. Daryl moved between each of the three communities to see Glenn and Maggie and to see Carol.

He enjoyed the time away. He actually spent more time outside the walls than inside. Most noticed but the people who knew him, his family, didn’t bat an eye.

Paul became a pain in his ass. They continued to be awkward around each other throwing jabs and glaring something fierce. Everyone noticed and had their own opinions about it. They also had their own questions directed at the two, not many people actually had the balls to ask though.

Aaron and Daryl were good friends. Eric too, but Aaron and Daryl went on these runs together. It was regular and they both bonded.

This time however a Kingdom guard had stumbled upon a locked-up mall that looked untouched. So six people were selected to go on a run to clear it out. When Daryl saw Paul was coming he rolled his eyes while the other man;

“No one told me he was coming.” Paul practically growled in annoyance.

At this point, it just hurt that Paul kept up this banter. To other people it was banter. But to them, it was serious jabs at each other cause of a mistake Daryl made.

He knows why Paul is upset and he’s getting up the courage. Paul knows Daryl isn’t out to this family either and when he’d found out…

"I wish I was surprised. I honestly thought maybe you’d be different now, it’s been a few years but… guess you’re still hiding.” Paul knew it was a cheap shot. He knew that he shouldn’t push because it was Daryl's choice but it hurt.

It hurt that Paul had never been enough for Daryl to come out to his brother. He’d spent so much time telling Paul how he didn’t need Merle, how he could go without him. How he'd choose Paul over Merle any day. Then he just drops everything and runs to Georgia with him? Lies and empty promises that just had Paul's heart on the floor under the other man's shoe.

Daryl understood Paul’s hurt. He’d do it eventually. He swears but not right now. He winced at his own thoughts because this was the reason Paul hated him so much.

“Jesus seems extra pissed at you,” Aaron said from the passenger seat.

Daryl was driving one of the three large trucks, Aaron and Rosita beside him. Paul and Carol are behind them in another. Two people of the Kingdom, Ryan, and Talia, in the ones behind.

Daryl thought about the reasoning behind Paul being pissed. It had been that stupid conversation about how Daryl wasn’t out. It was more insulting each other than a conversation though.

“Don’t see you carin’ a rainbow flag ‘round.” Daryl had responded with.

“I’m not denying it. Most people know from the line of men that go in and out of my trailer.” Paul smirked staring Daryl in the face. He had been hoping for a little jealously but Daryl just rolled his eyes.

“Slut.” He had muttered to which Paul gave him the finger as he left to pack the trucks.

“They’re always pissed at each other. From the moment they met.” Rosita said from between them and Daryl hates the look he sees on Aaron’s face when he glances over.

He hates it even more later when they’re in the mall scavenging. Aaron finds him in the small grocery store they're scavenging while the others searched the rest of the mall stores. Daryl kind of hates the way Aaron seems to understand him and isn't scared of him.

Everyone else in Alexandria, even Hilltop, seemed to be scared of him. Eric and Aaron are the only ones who don't seem to be. Eric's eyes tell a different story sometimes but most of the time he's not scared. There isn't ever a time Aaron looks scared of Daryl. He doesn't look at him like he's a freak either.

Daryl hates it because only his family looks at him like that. Like he's normal, like an actual person. He hates it because it makes Daryl feel safe around Aaron.

“So, why do you hate Jesus?” Daryl ain't calling that prick Jesus if his life depended on it.

Who the fuck called him that in the first place? His friends? Julia sure didn't, and neither did Greg, or Lex, or Hannah, then again Daryl hadn't always been around Paul and his friends so who knows for sure.

“Don't hate 'im.” Daryl only spoke the truth. He did not hate Paul at all, not even a single bit. Daryl still loved him actually. Maybe even more now over these past few months.

He'd seen inside Paul's trailer and it looked like his old apartment. Littered with books and small treasures. There were dirty dishes in the sink, there were clothes on his bedroom floor, and Daryl couldn't help but notice a small picture on his nightstand of the two of them. It made his heart crack and his knees shake.

“Bathroom is behind you but if you really wanna be in my bed you'll have to take me to dinner first.” Paul had joked his voice hard knowing it would make Daryl uncomfortable.

He'd spent a few runs with him, unavoidable he had tried to get out of them Paul had too. It was like everyone they knew was trying to get them to like each other. They both hated to admit it but neither had hated the time they spent together since they'd found each other.

“Really? Because everything you do says differently.” Daryl sighed stopping the packing of his cart and turning to Aaron.

“Why do ya care so much?” He asked truly wanting to know why the hell it mattered to everyone.

“Because every time he's near you it's like someone stabs you in the gut. I can see it on your face.” Aaron says and Daryl looks away because that is exactly how it feels to be near Paul without being able to touch him like he used to.

“It doesn't matter anymore. I messed it all up. So just leave it be.” Daryl took his cart and pushed it to another aisle. He half expected Aaron to come find him again but it didn't happen.

They got a good chunk of the supplies inside the trucks before nightfall. Deciding it would be dangerous to travel at night they stayed in a far corner store of the mall. Daryl couldn't help but stare at Paul's sleeping form until he fell asleep.

Each of them woke to a smashing sound. Daryl was on his feet and at the door before anyone else. Paul and Rosita were not far behind, then Carol, Aaron, Talia, and Ryan.

Weapons ready and silent on their feet they moved toward the sound. What they found was something they hadn't checked. The glass had looked strong. It hadn't been this many when they'd stuck their heads out the door.

But now, the glass doors were broken, the walkers had tripled, and they were coming through from the car park below. Each stood stalk still for a second, wondering if they should fight to run. There were too many.

“Run!”

Somehow along the lines they'd gotten cut off and separated. Paul's voice echoed loudly through the halls that they should just find a way out and meet at the trucks. It was still dark but he was right it was their only option.

Daryl's arm was tugged and he was pushed into a small store as walkers quickly caught up to them. Paul was in front of him with a finger to his lips as they hid inside a large rack of clothing. Of all the people, in all the places, not really how he wished to die. Taken down but walkers in a rack on woman's sparkly red dresses. They made him icky and the sparkles were all over both of them.

“This sucks,” Daryl whispered as quietly as he could from where he sat, knees to his chest, across from Paul who sat the same way and nodded.

They both listened to the shuffling and the groans as the walkers moved past the small clothing store. Thank god Daryl had locked the doors before Paul had pulled him into the rack in the middle of the store. Hopefully, the glass windows wouldn't break and the walkers would move on.

It was a long while of them listening to the awful groaning sounds before either spoke. It wasn't awkward, okay maybe a little. But it was a comfortable awkward they both knew, especially around each other.

“I hate this.” Paul broke it and Daryl raised an eyebrow. “The way everyone thinks we hate each other.” Daryl nodded.

“Aaron asked while we scavenged,” Daryl said to which Paul let out a dry chuckle.

Daryl squirmed seeming to get even more sparkles on him even when he was trying to wipe them off. Paul covered his own mouth trying to hold in his laughter.

“Shut up it's all over you.” Daryl pointed out to which Paul looked at himself then back at Daryl.

"You look better in red than me,” Paul smirked only for Daryl to roll his eyes.

There was another beat of silence and Daryl watched the look on Paul's face. Covered in sparkles and walker blood while his smile slowly faded, way too fast for Daryl's taste. He wanted it to never leave Paul's face. That smile brightened the entire world, or maybe it only brightened Daryl's whole world.

A cluster of sparkles were still on Paul's cheek even though he'd tried to wipe them all off with his bandana. Right, atop his cheekbone and Daryl couldn't stop himself from reaching out, unlike other times over these past few months.

He reached up and brushed the sparkles away with his thumb but he didn't pull his hand away. He was so close and it was so quiet that he could hear Paul's breath hitch. They were so close. Close enough to... no, no, no... but it would be so good.

He remembered the way Paul's lips tasted, the way they felt upon his, the way he had always looked after Daryl had kissed him. He wanted to, he wanted to so bad, especially when Paul glanced down at Daryl's lips as if daring him to.

The decision was made for him when a voice called out in a hushed whisper. They both leaped out of the rack to see Rosita and Aaron. Sparkles flew everywhere and the two-bit their lips wanting to laugh.

“We will be making all the jokes about this on the way home. But unfortunately, we gotta get out of here quick. We only distracted them.” Rosita says waving for them to which they followed until they got to the back doors.

Safe, Paul was safe, they were safe. But he was still craving Paul's touch long after getting back to Alexandria.

—

3/5 Maggie; the home visit

It had been decided that what was best for Maggie and the baby was to stay at Hilltop, near Carson. So she and Glenn got a room in Barrington hour, under Gregory's protest of course. What sucked for Gregory though, was how much the people of Hilltop loved her. Everyone wanted her to take over in place of Gregory.

Daryl hadn't been to Hilltop in a long time. He'd actually been avoiding it because Paul was there. His stupid ex no one knew was his ex. He hated himself for actually wanting to go, for not putting up more of a protest when Rick told him Maggie and Glenn wanted to see him.

So here he was, parking one of two SUVs filled with baby supplies, food, and other things Hilltop had needed that Alexandria had recently picked up on a run. With him was Tara, Aaron, Eric, Michonne, and a couple of others.

He immediately saw Paul sitting on his trailer steps reading as if he'd been waiting. The moment they made eye contact he thought he would have tensed like the first couple of months of being around the man again. He didn't, he actually relaxed under the gaze.

“Daryl can you help?!” Tara snapped from behind the SUV as she and Michonne struggled with the crib. Snapping out of it he moved to carry it into Barrington house with Tara.

Setting up the new crib and other such baby things for Maggie made his heart warm. The way Maggie smiled. The way Glenn put his arms around her waist hands laying on her large belly.

Daryl stood in Maggie and Glenn's room the crib, changing table, toys, and other such things moved into a corner of the room away from the bed. The only thing left was the last of the two rocking chairs that Tara had gone to get. It would go out onto the balcony with the old homemade wooden crib that Earl had made for Maggie.

“Hey, Daryl?” Maggie placed her hand on Daryl's bicep as he looked out onto the balcony at the homemade crib. He grunted and she smiled when their eyes caught each others. “We want you to be the godparent.” Daryl turned his full body toward her and frowned. “Paul as well.” That made his frown deepen further.

“Why?” He winced at his own tone but she wasn't even phased by it.

“Because he's saved my life, Glenn's life, he's been very involved with all this,” she motioned around the room, “I trust and love him just as I love you—“

“Nah, I mean, why me?” Daryl interrupted to which Maggie frowned wondering why that would even be a question.

“Because I trust you so much,” Maggie said hand returning to him this time upon his cheek. Her smile was so loving and Daryl's chest became tight, not in a bad way though.

“Already got Jude, 'n Michonne asked me ta be the new baby's too,” Daryl said hoping she wouldn't pull her hand away but she did shrugging.

“You with three kids? Sounds like hell.” She chuckled and he rolled his eyes. “But you'd handle it and you'll love them, I know you will,” Maggie said to which Daryl glanced back at her.

“Stop talkin' like yer dying along with Michonne and Rick,” Daryl said and there was a beat of silence. It was a possibility these days and it weighed on everyone. Daryl hated that there was a fairly large chance that he could end up with the three of them. “Why'd ya choose both of us?”

“Glenn wanted you and I wanted Paul. We talked it out and then I wanted you and he wanted Paul. Why chose when we can have both?” She smiled giving him a light punch to the shoulder. “You two are already like an old married couple, why not throw a few kids in there?” She laughed to which Daryl grumbled.

“Where do I put—?” The voice cut off but the two looked over to find Paul.

Daryl had been avoiding him since he got here. There was no way Tara had needed help. She did this on purpose knowing he'd run into Daryl. That little—

“Oh great! Paul, I was just telling Daryl about you two being the godparents.” Maggie smiled widely while Paul's hands slipped and he dropped one side of the rocking chair onto the ground.

“Yer gonna break it,” Daryl said to which Paul glared.

“Shut up I didn't expect her to tell me I was a godfather Daryl.” Maggie frowned.

“Glenn didn't tell you yet?” She asked and the man shook his head. “Damn it, Glenn.” She muttered to herself.

“I'm gonna...” Daryl motioned to the door and moved to leave which gave the two time to catch eyes. Paul's eyes started a fire in his chest like they seemed to keep doing like they used to. Daryl wouldn't acknowledge what it meant. It didn't mean shit.

“Daryl wait!” Maggie said to which he paused in the doorway. “Since you're the godfather Glenn and I want you to be here when he or she gets here,” Maggie said, she and Glenn had decided they wanted it to be a surprise. Her hands lay upon her belly and Daryl looked from it to her face then down and up again.

That meant he had to stay around Paul. He didn't know if his heart could take that. He glanced over at Paul who refused to take his eyes off Maggie.

“Uh...” He wanted to say he couldn't but the look on Maggie's face... He couldn't. “Alright.” Maggie smiled almost as if she'd trapped him. Weird.

“Great you can stay with Paul he's got a comfy couch.” Wait.

“Nah, Mags I didn't—“

“You already said yes. Now Paul and I need to set up the rocking chair on the balcony.” She said moving out onto the balcony herself. Paul looked over at Daryl with wide eyes. This was gonna suck.

—

“So, you and Daryl...” Maggie started once she and Paul had finished arranging the two rocking chairs in the right place. “What's up with the whole awkward tension all the time?” She asked from where she sat in one of the chairs.

“I don't know what you're talking about.” He said trying not to be obvious about the lie but her face said bullshit.

“Really? Because I'm not the only one who notices you know?” Paul's head snapped over to her from where he'd been staring out at Hilltop. “Yep, everyone who's seen you two interact has noticed. Usually, the question is, 'why do they hate each other?' or 'why are they so awkward?'” She smirked at the face he made.

“I—he's—we're not—“ He chuckled nervously. “We're not that bad are we?” He looked concerned now to which she frowned.

“What is it, Paul?” She asked softly but he shook his head.

"I wish I could tell you. Then I could ask for advice but I can't.” He sat down beside her putting his head in his hands.

“Did he do something?” Paul's head rose and he scoffed.

“No.”

“Did you?” His head snapped over eyes moving across her features.

“No, I know what you're thinking but hell no.” Paul actually chuckled. He wanted to say he wished because he actually did. Even after how they ended, god, Paul wanted Daryl back in his arms.

He wanted the small smiles of the man. He wanted the soft touches. He wanted the rare pet names. He wanted the flirty banter. He wanted the tender and the aggressive kisses. And god did he ever want the way Daryl made love to him because he was the best Paul ever had.

Daryl had taken the time to know him in such a way that made him the best. The way he'd taken days to figure out every tick, every soft place, every little inch of Paul's body. He'd done all that without even wanting Paul to do anything to him. He knew how Paul worked inside and out. Daryl could make him fall apart with a curl of fingers, a small bite to the neck, even a few words whispered in his ear.

“Why not? You two would be good.” She said to which he winced. They had been good. Really good.

He thought about her words all evening long after he'd left to do other things. That night he wondered if Daryl would actually show up or just find another place to sleep. But, late much after the sun had set, there was a knock on the door and Paul opened it.

Outside the door was Glenn looking tired and unimpressed. He motioned for Daryl to move inside to which the man did looking guilt-ridden as if being found doing something forbidden.

“Maggie is mad at him for trying to skip out and sleep in the barn. Good luck with all that.” Glenn said motioning to where Daryl sat on the couch.

Glenn shut the door for him and he heard the man walk down the three stairs and back toward Barrington house. Paul turned to Daryl who didn't make eye contact with him.

“You want a drink or just to go to bed?” Paul asked to which Daryl thought for a moment finally looking up at him.

“Bed's fine.”

Paul nodded moving for the bedding supplies he'd gotten earlier. Just a pillow and blanket. He felt a little guilty that Daryl had to sleep on the couch. He wanted so badly to offer his bed and they could sleep next to each other just like they had back in their old apartments.

He tossed the two to Daryl who nodded in thanks before making up the couch for himself. Paul looked back at his bed then at Daryl again. He really wanted to offer it. He missed Daryl sleeping next to him.

“If the couch is too uncomfortable—“ His question was cut off when Daryl flopped back on the couch.

“Ya made it clear ya didn't want not'in' to do with meh. So don't start offerin' yer bed.” Daryl said closing his eyes one arm behind his head the other resting on his chest. Still the same way he used to sleep when Paul knew him.

“Right.” He practically choked out trying not to feel hurt. He had no right to be because Daryl was right. He'd been acting like Daryl was the bad guy. “I'm sorry that I acted that way. I thought I'd gotten over it.” Daryl opened his eyes again but only stared at the ceiling.

“'s different when ya see 'em again,” Daryl said to which Paul nodded.

"I still am sorry for saying those things,” Paul said and Daryl finally glanced over.

Throw away my love like it’s trash then, Daryl Dixon. That's not what he meant though. Paul meant everything he'd said since they'd met again.

“Meh too.”

—

4/5 CAROL; the long nights traveled

Staying with Paul wasn't bad at all. Though it had only been around a month Daryl felt comfortable as he had been in their old apartments. It was just little things that made it familiar. The morning movement of Daryl getting up to go hunt only to find a coffee all ready for him while Paul showered.

Moving around the trailer like it was a dance they had both memorized

The baby would be here any day now. Everyone was getting them gifts for it and Daryl felt real bad he hadn't gotten anything yet. Even Paul had.

So he was gonna go to The Kingdom to find something. They had a lot of kids there so it wouldn't be hard. There was protest from Maggie and Glenn though. Glenn even stopped him at the gate.

“Carson says the baby's gonna be here any day now.” He said hands on the handlebars of Daryl's bike.

“He's been sayin' that fer a week. Won't be long, 's not like I needa be in the room and watch that shit man.” Daryl was thoroughly grossed out by the thought of Maggie—nope, not thinking about it.

“You don't need to get anything for us, Daryl. We just want you.” Glenn said and Daryl raised an eyebrow at him.

“Yer sweet.” Glenn rolled his eyes as Daryl started up his bike. “But I'm goin'.” Glenn sighed reluctantly letting go of the handlebars and watching Daryl speed off.

The ride was actually quite nice. Sun was out, barely any walkers, and he didn't run into a single person. It gave him time to think about what to get them. He couldn't put much on his bike, he wasn't planning on anything big anyways.

He got to The Kingdom just as the sun was setting. Carol greeted him at the gate and walked with him to put the bike away. They spoke about how Maggie was doing and how Carol was as well. Daryl loved to hear all about how she was with Henry and Ezekiel.

At dinner, he talked with Jerry and his family. He promised Henry that he'd teach him how to use his crossbow. He talked a little with Ezekiel about the different leader things going on. No problems here which was beyond amazing. It felt too good to be true these days but everyone was holding onto it as long as they could.

After dinner, Carol walked him to his room and stuck in the doorway for a moment. Daryl wondered what her question would be and hoped to god it wouldn't be about Paul. That's all people asked him about these days. Not even just his family, other people he barely knew too. One day he was gonna snap and tell them all.

“The grapevine has been telling me you've got a little feud with Jesus.” Daryl sighed head dropping between his shoulders.

“Why's everyone so concerned 'bout me and Paul?” Daryl said sitting on the bed after putting his things at the foot of it.

“Because everyone notices how awkward you two are. How you seem to hate each other.” Carol said to which Daryl scoffed.

“Don't hate 'im. Could never.” She moved to the bed sitting next to him.

Her arm went around his waist and his moved around her shoulders in a half hug. It felt so good to have her next to him since he hadn't seen her in a long while. The maternal love that radiated from her made him feel so safe.

“You know you can tell me anything right?” Carol said and he paused staring at the half-closed door across from them.

He let his arm fall from around her shoulders and he looked away. The complete and utter fear he felt overwhelmed him. He couldn't tell her.

His back and chest burned with the memories of his daddy reacting badly to it. His hip burned from the cigarette scars from his mama. The memories of beaten boys still plagued his brain from Merle.

“I know. Just not this. Not yet.” Daryl said and Carol gently grabbed his chin to have him look back. Her eyes held such warmth and comfort for him that he almost gave in. Almost.

“Alright, but I'm right here pookie.” She smiled and he wrapped his arms around her again.

When they pulled back from it she stood. Before leaving though she ran her fingers through his hair and left a kiss on his forehead. His chest bloomed with the safety and comfort from it.

“Goodnight Daryl.” She whispered before moving for the door.

“Night.” He said before the door had closed fully.

He cried that night. So many different emotions troubled his mind. The fear of what could happen when he finally does tell people. The hurt that he caused Paul by continuing to lie about it.

—

Finding the right present for the baby was a challenge. Nothing here spoke to him. Everything was baby related of course. There were toys, blankets, clothes, and much more but he wanted something different.

He wanted something meaningful. Something that wouldn't be thrown away in a few years.

His head snapped up from where he'd been looking at stuffed animals. The tiger was the only thing that he'd actually take back. But he had another idea in mind now.

“Going back already? They're not expecting you until tomorrow morning.” Carol said eyeing the stuffed tiger he shoved in his backpack.

“Got what I need.” He said giving her a hug before hopping on the bike and leading it to the front gate.

“Be safe, yeah?” He smiled.

“Always am.”

Then he was off speeding an unbelievable amount down the road in definitely not the direction of Hilltop. He needed something else first and it would take him a while to get there. So he sped and hoped to get there before nightfall and back by tomorrow morning.

Riding down that gravel driveway again had memories flooding back behind his eyes. The last memory of this place long since gone. The walkers had moved on, the fire had gone out, the people who had once been here also long gone.

He turned off his bike at the front steps eyes trailing all over the property in curiosity. The driveway was somewhat hidden so he hoped no one had been here and taken things.

The white of the paint on the house had been weathered. There were vines and other plants that had overtaken the porch and were slowly growing up the sides of the house. The barn out back, having been burned, was now just rubble.

He hoped to god he finds what he's looking for here.

Going inside the door creaks and so do the floorboards. There's light from the holes in the ceiling but there won't be for much longer as the sun was setting. He sweeps the house for anyone or anything before he looks for sentimental things.

Each room held memories, not many from him but from those who had once called this home. He avoided the living room, leaving it for last, it was the hardest because the mantel of pictures was untouched. All still there holding faces of the dead.

He went into the attic hoping to find something for the baby. Most of it was just storage but in the very back were two boxes. Masking tape across them with the words 'Maggie's baby things' and 'Beth's baby things' written in sharpie.

Opening both the boxes he took deep breaths willing the tears away. Inside both were different clothes, toys, and both had an album. He opened Maggie's first because maybe hers would be easier. There were pictures of the whole family and baby Maggie as she grew through the years.

Going through Beth's was harder. Watching her grow and seeing the whole family smile around her. It hurt so bad this was like reliving her death all over again. Hershel's too as he was in almost all the photos.

He switched out the tiger from his bag and left it in the attic. Instead, he took a couple of toys from each box and a few pieces of clothing from each. Then he closed it all up and took a deep breath as he went downstairs.

Checking each room for things wasn't hard until he got to the one closest to the living room and front door. It was where Carl had stayed when he was shot.

Inside the dresser was an old polaroid camera and some pictures. Pictures of them when they had been here. Of their camp, of Lori, Carl, T-dog, Carol, Rick, Beth, Glenn, Maggie, Andrea, Dale, fucking Shane, of him. There were some of each of them. Some were candid others weren't. But all were with smiles on their faces.

He moved to the kitchen to find a plastic bag and found a small one but it was big enough for the pictures. He put them all in there and debated on taking the camera. They could find another one if they truly wanted.

After that, he finally made it to the living room. He'll sleep on the couch here and take some of the photos in frames. Each were of the family. Some were graduation photos, baby photos, and a family photo of them all in the middle.

He took the family photo, and the one of Maggie, Hershel, and Beth. They were all smiling and happy. It was from before but not long enough for them to look unrecognizably younger.

Sleeping on the couch he had to put all the photos down so they weren't staring at him. He didn't sleep much but when he did he was infested with the memories of this place, of the people, of their deaths.

He woke early and it took him longer than he'd like to admit to get off the couch. He got out the front door and down the steps out to his bike. He smiled up at the house and started his bike.

The whole experience of doing this for Maggie's new baby was somewhat cathartic even if it was only for a short time. He rode off down the gravel driveway leaving it all behind.

—

5/5 GLENN; the baby

Daryl finally got back to Hilltop around noon. He parked his bike only for Paul to come running up to him. He turned definitely not expecting arms to be wrapped around him and a body against him.

He hadn't hugged Paul since before. He'd barely touched Paul since they'd found each other again. Daryl took the opportunity and wrapped his arms around the other man's lean torso.

“What's goin' on?” Daryl muttered into his shoulder not caring about those who were looking since everyone did think they hated each other.

Paul pulled back and Daryl wished he hadn't spoken because then maybe the warm body would still be against his. His hands were still on Daryl's shoulders though and Daryl's hands were kept at his waist.

“We called Carol wondering where you were and she said you left yesterday morning,” Paul said tears in his eyes and Daryl realized. “Thought you were gone,” Paul said and Daryl wanted to kiss him to show him he was right here but they were interrupted.

“Jesus!” It was that nurse Alex from The Kingdom. Why was he here? They both took their hands off each other and Alex gave Daryl a look of... jealousy, interesting. “It's a boy.” Wait, what?

“Oh, shit, yeah,” he turned to Daryl, “Maggie's having her baby right now. Or I guess she just had it.” He said turning back to Alex who nodded.

“They wanna see you.”

—

When they entered the room they saw Carson first. His arms and hands were bloody with other fluids as well. They both had a moment of fear before hearing Maggie's voice.

“He looks just like you.” She whispered and they saw Glenn standing there holding a little boy.

Carson slipped out the door behind them as they moved inside. Maggie smiled at them looking sweaty and exhausted.

“Guys, look,” Glenn looked so unbelievably happy like his smile would tear his face in half, “I'm a dad. Holy shit.” Daryl put a hand on his shoulder while Paul reached to hold Maggie's hand.

“Congrats.” Daryl smiled at Glenn before taking a good look at the baby. He looked just like Glenn.

“His name is Hershel.” Maggie smiled only happy memories behind her eyes.

“He's beautiful,” Paul said squeezing Maggie's hand as Glenn just stared down at the boy bouncing ever so slightly.

“We were worried about you,” Maggie spoke from the bed to which Daryl ducked his head in guilt.

“Yeah, man you were supposed to be back this morning. Carol said you left yesterday morning.” Glenn said worry taking over his face.

“Couldn't figure out what ta get ya. So went somewhere else.” Daryl took his bag off his shoulder and knelt opening it. “Thought he should have something passed down.” He pulled the clothes and toys out to which Maggie went wide-eyed. “Thought he'd wanna know his family was too.” Daryl pulled the framed photos from the bottom of the bag.

Maggie's eyes spilled with tears as she took the family photo in hand one of the stuffed animals in her other. Glenn froze at the pictures and Paul just felt like he was intruding on a private moment between the three.

“You went all the way to the farm to get these?” Maggie said sniffling a little to which Daryl nodded. “You better get the hell over here so I can hug you.” She smiled and he moved for her sitting on the edge of the bed.

He wrapped his arms around her and she did the same to him. It was a beautiful little moment between them. Glenn smiled down at them elbowing Daryl in thanks when he stood to which he got a nod.

The two of them both got to hold the baby. When he cried while being transferred from Paul to Daryl the man just hummed and swayed as if he'd done this a million times before. Judith had always loved being talked to or sang to when held against a chest.

This little boy was no different immediately calming as he swayed looking up at him with big watery brown eyes. Maggie and Glenn smiled at him but he just kept his eyes on Hershel.

Paul had never seen Daryl with babies before, only Judith and a few of the teenagers around. He was good with them but he never really put it together that Daryl was good with all kids. It made something strange bloom in his chest.

Glenn found Daryl later outside with a cigarette. They stood there for a moment just staring out at Hilltop. Glenn bumped Daryl's shoulder and sent a smile his way to which Daryl just gave him the side eye.

“Thanks for that. You're really amazing dude.” Glenn said but Daryl just shrugged.

“Wasn't a big deal.” Daryl took a glance at Glenn when he didn't respond and saw a look of 'seriously' on his face.

“'Wasn't a big deal'.” Glenn copied with a terrible southern accent making Daryl glare. “Wasn't a big deal my ass Daryl. Seriously thank you.” Daryl didn't protest this time.

There was another beat of silence and Daryl had expected Glenn to go back inside but he didn't. Instead, he kicked a rock off the porch of Barrington house. He then sighed. Daryl wondered what he wanted to talk about now.

“You know I figured something out recently,” Glenn said not glancing at Daryl who didn't say a word. “I know I said I wouldn't ask.” Daryl frowned, when had he said that? “But Jesus' name is Paul.”

I won’t ask if you don’t want me to.

Back at the CDC in Daryl's room. Alone together and naked. Glenn had stopped him from running away after he'd practically screamed Paul's name.

“I'd ask if it was a coincidence but I don't think you'll give me an answer. I figured it out anyway.” Glenn was smart and he knew more than anyone else here except Paul. Daryl should have expected him to find out on his own. “You moaning his name, you being all weird around him, him being all weird around you,” Glenn said and Daryl looked around wondering if anyone could hear them.

There was a long silence and Daryl dropped his cigarette stepping on it before kicking it off the porch into a bush. He hoped to move for the door without Glenn getting between. He was wrong Glenn stopped him and now they were face to face. Now Glenn could see all the emotions he couldn't hide on his face.

“I just wanna know why you two aren't together now. You seem so good for each other. And the way you look at him, the way he looks at you...” Glenn said but he was wrong Paul hated him now. Glenn saw the look on his face and stepped back. “You're not gonna answer me. Whatever it's fine, we used to talk but I guess not so much anymore.” Fuck, now Glenn was mad at him too.

—

Later in the trailer, Daryl was making some soup from a rabbit he'd caught earlier. Paul came in with a smile on his face having been with the baby all day.

“Want some?” He asked and Paul nodded moving to sit on the couch.

They sat together and ate while Paul told him all about his day with Hershel and Maggie, Glenn as well of course. It had been a few days since the baby was born and everyone was ecstatic. There were even plans for a dinner in a week or two so Rick, Michonne, and all of them could come to see the baby.

He watched Paul talk with his arms and a huge smile about the baby. He had seen how Paul was with Hershel, though he hadn't been around many Maggie and Glenn gave him pointers. Daryl had even shown him how to hold the boy the first time.

Daryl remembers it so unbelievably well. Staring at Paul as he looked so amazed at the baby giggling in his arms. Well, not giggling but he was definitely making happy noises.

The sight had pulled at something in Daryl's chest much like what was happening now. Their relationship had gotten better over the last couple of months. They'd shared small smiles and the banter had somewhat returned, to an extent.

Paul had stopped talking a few seconds ago and was frowning in Daryl's direction. Daryl's eyes flickered down to the other man's lips and he couldn't help himself. There was no one to stop him this time either.

He leaned forward cupping Paul's face and connecting their lips. They both sighed into it like this was the relief they finally needed. It felt so damn good. Tasting each other again after years of not doing so.

Paul wanted so badly to just lean Daryl back and get in his lap but he couldn't. Not after how it ended last time he couldn't do that again. He wasn't hiding anymore, Daryl still was.

“I can't!” Paul shot up off the couch tears in his eyes. Daryl tensed not moving from the couch. “Fuck, Daryl, I love you to death and I always will but I can't hide anymore. I don't wanna be hurt like last time. I'm not gonna force you to come out but I can't live like that, especially around these people who I care so much about. I'm so sorry.” He said and the room was deadly silent for a few moments.

Daryl understood. His eyes stung as he went to stand but he understood. Paul didn't want him unless he was out. He needed the courage to be out to his family and he didn't have that yet.

So he left, out the front door toward the gate with Paul calling his name telling him he shouldn't go. But he was already on his bike and gone out the front gate. It all happened so fast.

—

6/5 DARYL & PAUL; the disaster dinner

“What are you doin' here? Not that I mind, come in.” Rick said when Daryl showed up at his front door in the middle of the night unannounced.

“Need a place to stay,” Daryl said hoping Rick wouldn't ask but his hopes were usually crushed by the stupid curiosity of everyone around him.

“Did you come here from Hilltop in the middle of the night? That's insanely stupid and dangerous.” Rick said but before Daryl could respond with anything they were interrupted by another voice.

“Daryl?” They both looked over at the stairs to find Michonne in a light blue robe. She looked so domestic, this whole thing felt so domestic. For a moment Daryl forgot the world had ended thinking he'd run off to a friend's house because of a fight with his boyfriend. That wasn't the reality though.

“Sorry ta wake ya.” He said but she just shook her head moving to hug him and he smiled. It was a bit of an awkward hug around her belly but they managed.

She tried to let go but he didn't want to so she squeezed him a little tighter. When he finally did pull back her face turned into one of worry. He hadn't realized he'd been crying until now.

“What's wrong sweetheart?” She asked in a soft tone stopping Rick from moving into his vision which he appreciated not wanting the man to see him like this.

“Nothin'.” She didn't buy the lie one bit.

“You can cry over nothing it's okay to do that. But if it's something...” She trailed off hoping he'd finish for her.

“I... I'm uh...” He was so frustrated with himself. The entire ride over here he'd thought about it. Felt it. He knew what he had to do and he was ready to do it but the words wouldn't come out of his mouth.

“Take your time hun.” Her hand rubbed his shoulder and he just took a couple of deep breaths.

There was one thing he'd realized over these past few months. Something that most definitely influenced his decision. He could barely live without Paul. The man was so close and he wanted to reach out and touch him all the time. He wanted everything he once had.

His love for Paul was so much stronger than his fear of rejection, so...

“I'm gay.” He choked out and Michonne smiled up at him.

“Thank you for trusting us with that.” She said bringing him into another hug. She had suspected something, this had been on her list of reasons but she of all of them she wouldn't have guessed it first.

Daryl took a chance and glanced behind at Rick who stood there unsure of quite what to do. He hoped his brother wouldn't react badly to this.

“Rick.” Michonne snapped him out of his gaze to which he stuttered for a moment.

"It don't matter to me man. You're still my brother, always will be no matter what.” Rick said giving his shoulder a squeeze before pulling the other into a hug.

Even though he had a house not far down the street he still let Rick guide him downstairs giving him the guest room. He was glad they didn't make him go to his own house. Too empty and cold he hated it there sometimes, all alone.

—

Daryl stayed with them for a week and a half before the innovation for the dinner came around. The one where they would all finally meet new baby Hershel. Daryl was scared to shit and he was excited as well.

He was gonna tell as many people as he could without drawing too much attention away from Hershel of course. But when it came down to the time he didn't say shit.

Everyone was gathered around the table after having a few drinks and socializing. Of course while also saying their first hello to the brand new baby. Hershel was loved by each and would make his weird little happy noises at each of them.

Sitting at the table across from Paul was the worst part of it all. The man hadn't even glanced at him the entire night. He'd change it, he just needed an opening. He couldn't handle Paul ignoring him, it was an impossible task to just sit by and let Paul avoid and ignore him.

Then came his opening.

“Daryl you're the godfather of like half the kids round here!” Abraham yelled out. “When are ya gettin' your own crossbow-wielding devils?” He chuckled as did some others.

“I think he's gotta find a girlfriend first. If that's even possible.” Tara said to which Paul snorted louder than intended across from Daryl.

The two finally made eye contact and it was like everything in the room stopped. This was his time. He needed to say it now.

“Maybe someday. Hopefully with a husband, not a girlfriend.” Daryl said eyes not leaving Paul's to which the man shook his head.

“Need the bathroom.” Paul knew he was being obvious but he didn't all that much care.

“Nah, don't go nowhere.” Daryl grabbed his wrist over the table before he could go anywhere. “I'm sorry fer everything. Fer tellin' ya to leave in the first place.” Daryl said leaning over the table not letting Paul's wrist go.

“Shouldn't have asked you to choose me over your family. That wasn't right of me.” Paul said but Daryl shook his head.

“After what he did to ya. Merle wasn't my family. You were... are.”

Everyone around them felt like they were intruding on a private moment. Then again they definitely should've left the room and they had all the chances but didn't.

Hearing Merle's name come out of Daryl's mouth was strange. Especially toward Paul who knew him apparently. This was all so strange and so many of them were confused.

“'s why I'd gotten ya this.” Daryl pulled the cord from around his neck showing the ring to Paul, and everyone else at the table who went wide-eyed. A ring? “Was gonna ask ya two days later but Merle got released early. I'm sorry. Shoulda stayed with ya.” Paul's eyes welled and he sat back down his wrist finally being released.

Daryl pulled the cord from over his head and reached to give it to Paul who didn't move. Tears in his wide crystal eyes as he stared at the ring then at Daryl then at the ring and back. Daryl just set it down next to his plate.

“'s yers. Got it fer ya so take it whether ya wear it or not.” Daryl said placing the ring next to Paul's plate making the man stare down at it.

Daryl wanted to leave right now. But that wasn't what he needed to do. By doing that he'd be moving backward and he needed to move forward, toward Paul. He sat down taking glances at those around him.

“Got somethin' to say?” He didn't mean to snap he only meant to move their eyes off Paul because the man seemed to be in shock.

The conversation moved on. Michonne, bless her soul, had been the one to start another conversation away from Daryl and Paul. Daryl contributed much more than Paul who just sat there examining the ring between his fingers.

It was a simple silver band with two diamonds embedded in it. On the inside was an engraving in the unmistakable messy cursive of Daryl's handwriting.

you & I always

The simple message made tears come to Paul's eyes once again. He couldn't sit here anymore without breaking down it wasn't possible. So he stood causing the conversations around the table to stop. He didn't respond to any of the calls for his name.

Looks were thrown Daryl's way but he was already on his feet moving to follow Paul who was already outside. Paul was headed for his trailer but Daryl grabbed his arm to stop him. Instead of pulling away or stopping still, he turned to wrap his arms around the torso of the one who grabbed him.

Daryl stood shocked for a second before covering Paul with his arms holding him tight to his chest. They stood like that for many moments, just standing together between Barrington house and Paul's trailer. There weren't many people out just a few stranglers which they ignored.

“Love ya. Sorry I didn't say it before but—“

“I know you meant it.” Paul said wiping his eyes as he pulled away but making sure to stay close with his hands on Daryl's hips. The other man understood so he let his hands rest on either side of Paul's neck. “I knew long before I figured out that I loved you. Love, you.” Paul rushed to correct so Daryl knew the feeling was still very much there.

“I know I messed up—“

“You've already apologized,” Paul said but Daryl shook his head.

“But I got more ta say,” he cupped Paul's face thumbs rubbing against his cheekbones comfortingly, “ta just you, not all them.” Daryl nodded over his shoulder and Paul took a glance to find a good amount of people staring from the window. Of course, they were, why would he expect any less?

“Alright,” Paul said with a small smile to which Daryl swallowed.

“'m sorry that I told ya ta leave. Shouldn't have, should've told Merle to leave, should've asked ya right in that damn hall.” Daryl's eyes began to water and so did Paul's, again. “There ain't a thing I wouldn't do fer ya. I'd die fer ya, live fer ya, kill fer ya. I want ta spend the rest of time with ya. Never wanna be away from you.”

Paul's tears fell first. Daryl's fell just as he connected their lips. The kiss meant everything to them both. It was fear and passion. It was love and release.

They touched at all parts of their bodies. Hands grabbing at each other, holding each other tight, keeping them close to one another. One of Daryl's hands moved to Paul's hair nipping at his lip to taste him. Paul whimpered into it and let one of his arms move around Daryl's waist.

Their tears mingled both tasting the saltiness and relief. So much relief all into one burning kiss. It was everything to them both.

Paul pulled back slightly their foreheads pressed together. They panted in each other's faces for a moment eyes gazing blue into the blue. Their lips touched a few hundred more times before there was another break and Paul moved.

He didn't move away he kept their foreheads connected but he opened his fist which had also holding Daryl's shirt. Daryl looked down and saw the ring with the cord attached.

Hands shaking Paul undid the cord and pulled the ring from it. Daryl went wide-eyed at the motion pulling slightly at Paul's hair to make him look up. He just smiled kissing the man of his dreams as he slipped the ring onto his finger.

“Ya sure.”

"Never been more sure in my entire god damn life, Daryl Dixon,” Paul said smiling so brightly his eyes seemed to be shining a lighter blue now. “I would like to re-introduce myself,” Paul started moving back from Daryl, arms out like he had that day they'd found each other again, “Paul Dixon at your service.” He bowed to which Daryl moved back into his space arm around his waist the other hand gently resting around his neck.

“Rovia-Dixon has a better ring to it.” He said with a smile to which Paul pressed their smiling lips together.

Going back inside Paul couldn't stop smiling. As soon as they entered the people inside seemed as if they were waiting for something. An answer to an unasked question.

Paul continued to smile looking back at Daryl who nodded motioning for him to tell. It was cool, everything was perfect in so many different ways now. Why should he step back at all? He shouldn't is the answer.

“Paul Rovia-Dixon at your service,” Paul said with a smile to which there were many different reactions.

There were squeals and shrieks. There were wide-eyed looks and gaping mouths. There were also hugs for each of them and congratulations all around.

“Congrats brother,” Rick whispered to him before moving away so Glenn could give him a hug.

“Still mad you didn't tell me. But congrats. Seriously you deserve it.” Glenn smiled holding Daryl's shoulders and Daryl gave his a squeeze as well.

“Thanks, man.”

It took them a while to all sit back down. The food was long gone by now just them sitting around a table smiling, laughing, feeling safe and content.

“So I'm gonna be the first to ask when you met because it sure as hell wasn't when we met him at that gas station,” Rick said with a small frown on his face. “Now that I think about it it makes sense.” Paul and Daryl glanced at each other.

“We worked across the street from each other. He ran into me and poured coffee on my nice shirt one day. Then he watched me change in the back of the shop he worked at.” Paul smirked to which Daryl blushed looking away. “We went to lunch a lot, I kissed him he freaked, but he came back at my art show and pulled me into a janitor's closet.” Daryl was as red as a tomato hands over his face now. They all cooed at him and he glared.

“Shut up.”

“Merle was in prison for two years and we dated for that entire amount of time. Then he got out early and came knocking on Daryl's door.” Daryl's face fell but Paul's didn't. “Daryl gets scared.”

“Was afraid he'd hurt you more,” Daryl said to which Paul shook his head while the rest wondered what Merle had done to Paul.

“His right hook wasn't even that bad—“ Paul tried to laugh it off but Daryl shook his head.

“Last guy he found me kissin' ended up in a coma,” Daryl said to which Paul tensed.

Glenn reached over from where he sat next to Daryl and put a hand on his shoulder for comfort. It was warm and made him feel safe. Maggie looked between them and chuckled.

“You two.” She muttered eyes flickering between them which made them both blush looking away. Glenn pulled his hand and rubbed his palms against his thighs as if to get rid of the evidence.

“No way.” Paul also smirked glancing over at Maggie while everyone else seemed to be in shock.

“The CDC was an interesting experience,” Glenn muttered to which Carol shrieked in laughter moving to enlighten the others. Rick choked and Carl's nose wrinkled up in disgust at the thought of two of his family members being together like that.

They all spent the rest of the evening laughing and sharing stories. Paul told embarrassing ones about Daryl which made him blush until his head looked ready to explode. This wasn't anything like Daryl had imagined it. Although he doesn't get why he even thought it would anything other than love from his family.

Daryl smiled over at Paul who looked to be having the time of his life. His eyes still so brightly shining, his smile lighting up the entire room, it made Daryl so happy just seeing him like this.

Daryl leaned forward lips brushing his cheek whispering to his lover. “Love ya so much.”

“Love you too hubby.” Paul exaggerated making Daryl give him a glare that had no heat.

“Don't ever call me that.”

“It's my new favorite word.”

Daryl hid his smile by kissing Paul's lips.

—