Work Text:
The text comes through right as Jihoon asks, “What did you think of that one?” and Soonyoung finds himself blindly reaching for his phone without even considering answering Jihoon first.
민혁 형
sorry i can’t make it later
work thing came up
Soonyoung’s face drops comically fast, heart sinking into his stomach. A wave of disappointment washes over him. Heavy and demanding to be felt. He quickly types a reply and hits send.
민혁 형
i was really looking forward to seeing you :(
He’s in Jihoon’s studio and they’re going over potential new title tracks together. The tracks are pretty rough around the edges, more concepts than anything else. Soonyoung is just giving his opinions, seeing if anything stands out. Jihoon is sat in his big producer chair, facing the monitor, while Soonyoung is sat on white leather couch behind him.
“Sorry. It was good. It would be fun to dance to,” Soonyoung says. Truthfully, he hardly remembers what he just listened to.
Jihoon looks over his shoulder and pulls a face. Soonyoung’s phone pings again.
민혁 형
don’t try to make me feel bad
you’ve cancelled on me hundreds of time
Soonyoung frowns.
that’s not true, he types and then deletes it just as fast. i’m sorry i have more than just myself to think about, he types and then deletes the last part because he really doesn’t want to start a fight. He tries again.
민혁 형
i’m sorry i wasn’t trying to make you feel bad i just haven’t seen you in a while
Soonyoung hits send.
“It would be interesting to choreograph,” Jihoon agrees belatedly. He chooses to work around the fact Soonyoung isn’t really paying attention. “I don’t know where we’d put a rap in. Hip Hop Unit might have to sing.
“They’re good vocalists, too,” Soonyoung murmurs.
Jihoon hums in agreement.
민혁 형
and whose fault is that?
Soonyoung scowls. that’s not fair, he sends.
Soonyoung doesn’t pick his schedule. This is an argument they’ve had before, though, and Soonyoung always stood by that he can’t be blamed for it. But then Minhyuk started firing back at him. Maybe if you didn’t drag dance practice out so long. Maybe if you stopped trying to work on so many solo projects. Maybe if you asked the company to turn down some brand offers, don’t you have enough money? Minhyuk has always been clear that Soonyoung didn’t make time for him and that was a point of contention that Soonyoung vehemently denies.
민혁 형
i’m sorry
but you don’t make it easy do you?
Soonyoung’s mouth physically drops open. His thumbs hover restlessly over the keyboard. He taps out a few messages and deletes them just a fast, jamming the backspace with enough force to make his finger ache.
Like he’s doing this on purpose? Soonyoung isn’t perfect but that doesn’t mean he doesn’t do everything in his power to see Minhyuk, even when he’s exhausted. Seeing Minhyuk is one of those things in his life that makes him feel so excited. He’s desperate for this to work, even if it costs him sleep and mental clarity and time with his friends.
“Do you have somewhere else to be?” Jihoon snaps.
Soonyoung’s head flies up to catch Jihoon glaring at him. He’s swivelled around on his desk chair to face Soonyoung, legs spread wide in his grey joggers. Soonyoung feels so small in his presence sometimes. Now he feels like he’s letting both of them down. He can’t even give enough to his boyfriend, let alone his bandmates.
“No— sorry—“ he says hurriedly.
“Who are you texting?” Jihoon asks.
“Minhyuk-hyung,” Soonyoung replies.
“Of course. No one else makes you look like that?”
“Like what?” Soonyoung snaps.
“Like you’re about to cry.”
Soonyoung chooses to ignore that.
“We were supposed to get dinner later. He can’t make it,” Soonyoung explains. Maybe he does want to cry a little bit.
“Of course he can’t,” Jihoon scoffs, rolling his eyes. He twirls back towards his monitor.
“What’s that supposed to mean?”
“He cancels on you a solid fifty percent of the time you make plans.”
“No he doesn’t,” Soonyoung finds himself defending his boyfriend.
“Yes, he does. It’s shitty.”
“It doesn’t have anything to do with you.”
“Actually, it does. You get all eager and excited when you make plans with him and then when he bails on you, you get all sad and quiet and unfocussed like you are right now. It’s disconcerting.”
That’s just something Soonyoung does, isn’t it? He makes everyone else’s problems his own. Minhyuk can’t stand it, when he starts ranting about work. None of his members can stand it when he tells them about Minhyuk.
Jihoon doesn’t like him. He’s made that much clear. They try not to talk about it.
“Well. I’m sorry. I’ll try not to let it get to me,” he mumbles. He’s still clutching his phone even though there’s no way Minhyuk is going to text him again.
Jihoon huffs a little. “That’s not what I’m saying. I just don’t know why you put up with it,” he says.
“I don’t,” he goes to defend himself this time, but Jihoon is faster.
“You follow him around like a little lost puppy. I’ve heard you leave the dorm at buttfuck in the morning to go see him and then he drops you whenever he feels like it. You don’t deserve that.”
Soonyoung desperately does not want to be having this conversation. He doesn’t follow Minhyuk around, he could argue. He sneaks out of the dorm early because he wants to; Minhyuk is a busy guy too. He wouldn’t mess Soonyoung around unless he had to. He doesn’t know why Jihoon has to see the worst in him — they’ve barely even met. All of the times Soonyoung has tried to bring him along, something has gotten in the way and that’s not his fault.
When Soonyoung doesn’t reply, Jihoon says, “I guess I just didn’t see you as this type of person. I didn’t think you’d let someone treat you like this.”
“He’s just busy,” Soonyoung says weakly. Where is that fire inside of him? He doesn’t have the energy to fight.
“Sure. If he wanted to make time for you then he would.”
“Jihoon—“
“I’m sorry. That was too far. But I don’t think I’m wrong.”
Soonyoung doesn’t jump to tell him that he is.
“Are you ready to hear the next song?” Jihoon asks.
The tension in the studio is palpable. The vibes are rotten. Soonyoung is not in the mood to be giving feedback.
“I’m going to go,” he says and gets up off the couch.
“There’s only two more, and then we can get dinner since you’re free now, yeah?” Jihoon says. He looks away from his computer and catches the dire look on Soonyoung’s face. “Are you really upset?”
The sincerity in his voice catches Soonyoung off guard. Emotion wells up wet and hot in his chest, like he’s been caught out when he was never trying to hide in the first place. It’s as close as Jihoon gets to taking care of them he supposes, even if Soonyoung had to endure the unabridged and unasked for take down of his entire relationship.
Soonyoung nods pathetically.
“Do you want to talk about it? I can get Jeonghan-hyung.”
He shakes his head.
“Okay. Sit. I’ll order food,” Jihoon orders.
Soonyoung finds himself sitting down.