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You and Bucky have been dating for a few months. It’s light and fun, but being that he’s often tied up with work, you don’t really get to see him a lot - but when you do, it’s incredible.
He’s a perfect gentleman, with the right amount of cheeky arrogance every now and then, keeping you flustered and falling head over heels for him, and fast. Bucky is falling too, but he isn’t afraid of it like he thought he would be. Being with you is the easiest thing he’s ever done.
One Friday night, after a long week at work, you’re running yourself a soothing bath. You aren’t expecting to see Bucky tonight, because he has some party at work.
You both agreed that it’s still too soon for you to meet his coworkers, no matter how badly you want to meet the Avengers, seeing as his job is intense and there’s a lot of secrets and danger and security issues involved when you start dating a superhero.
Instead, you’re planning on having a nice bath and maybe ordering some Chinese later, and then you’ll probably spend the rest of the evening texting Bucky to make sure you’re still on his mind while he’s undoubtedly surrounded by gorgeous women.
While the tub fills up with water, you’re standing naked in front of the mirror. You turn around to look at your back, the sight of it making your stomach drop.
The acne has been worse recently, and you aren’t sure why. Hundreds of different creams sit half-used in your cupboards, none of them curing your skin. You’ve tried everything from home-grown herbs to medically prescribed steroids, but nothing has ever worked in removing your acne.
Your heart aches when you think of how Bucky would feel if he was to see it. You’ve done well to avoid it so far; sticking to missionary and cowgirl during sex and keeping a shirt on the rest of the time, but summer’s fast approaching, and with it your anxiety, too. Any week now, the sun will burst through the dreary skies of New York with the fury of a thousand fires, and when Bucky buys you a bikini to wear to the beach, what the fuck are you supposed to do?
There’s a knock before you can get into the tub. You answer the door in nothing but the bathrobe that Bucky left behind a few weeks ago, wondering if you accidentally ordered the food already without realizing - but when you see Bucky there, you’re shocked.
“Jamie?” You ask as he walks in, wrapping his arms around you. “I thought you had the party tonight?”
“Ah, I thought about going,” He mumbles into your neck. “But then I realized I would much rather be with you instead.”
With warm cheeks and a warmer heart, you lead him into the living area while he kisses you, almost tripping over the coffee table.
“Nice robe,” He whispers against your lips with a smirk.
“Thanks,” You reply sweetly, cupping his cheeks. “It belongs to this guy I’m seeing.”
“Oh?” Bucky quirks a brow. “And what’s this guy like, huh?”
You laugh softly, looking up at him. “Total idiot.”
“Huh,” he replies, before suddenly grabbing your legs and throwing you over his shoulder. “Must be an idiot if he’s left you here alone tonight.”
“Don’t call him an idiot!” You scold him between laughs as he takes you into your bedroom. “I happen to really like him.”
Bucky places you onto the bed before getting down onto his knees in front of you, resting his hands on your knees. “Oh yeah?” Leaning in closer, he lowers his voice to a whisper. “Well, a little birdie told me that he really likes you, too.”
Playfully, you pout. “Which other little birdies have you been talking to, mister?”
He grins before standing up. “None but you, my pretty little birdie. None but you.” Then, he teasingly takes one of the ties of the bathrobe before slowly pulling on it.
When you realize that he’ll see your back if he removes it, you pull back, protectively grabbing the robe and tightening it around your body. “Stop.”
Bucky holds his hands up in surrender, taken aback. “You okay, baby?”
Utterly embarassed, you look down. “I’m fine.”
He sits next to you on the bed, his eyebrows furrowing. “I’m so sorry, Y/N, I didn’t mean to make you uncomfortable.”
“You didn’t,” You promise, your tone softening as you look back up at him. “You have nothing to apologize for, I just…”
Confused, Bucky takes your hand in his. “What is it, baby? What’s wrong?”
What are you supposed to say? ’I don’t want you to think I’m hideous’?
“I’m just a little…” You trail off weakly, unable to find the strength to verbalize your insecurity.
“It’s alright,” He whispers, stroking your hair. “We don’t have to talk about it if you’re not ready.”
But you can’t keep brushing it under the carpet and acting like everything’s fine. You can’t keep holding back the truth. It’s going to come out one day, and you’d rather it be now before you fall even harder for him and his rejection hurts even worse.
“No, it’s okay. I’m ready,” You tell him, sitting up straight and meeting his concerned gaze. “I… I don’t really like my back.”
Your voice is small, and he isn’t sure he heard you right. “What did you say?” Bucky asks quietly, leaning closer to you.
A sigh leaves your mouth. This is it. Moment of truth.
“I don’t like my back,” You say a little louder, fiddling with the belt of the bathrobe. “It- I have acne there. It’s all red and… and ugly, and I just hate it. I hate it so much and I didn’t- I’ve tried to hide it from you but I know that that isn’t fair on you. But I’ve just been so scared of losing what we have - I have so much fun with you and I like you a lot and I like that you like me, and I don’t want you to stop liking me-”
“And you think something like that could make me stop liking you?” He cuts you off, his voice soft and low. “You think it could make me want you any less?”
You want to fall into his kindness, but you can’t. “Easier said than done,” You grumble bitterly. “You haven’t seen it yet. And when you do, you’ll think it’s ugly and you won’t want me anymore, and you’ll try to be polite about it but you’ll slowly distance yourself and cancel dates and say you’re busy with work, and then I’ll see you out on the street with some new girl and it’ll be so fucking awkward and-”
“Oh, my God,” Bucky mutters, his hand running through your hair. “How much time have you spent overthinking this, baby?”
Sheepishly, you shrug. “Every night since we met.”
A pained look overtakes his features and he instantly pulls you into his chest, holding you tight. “Oh, baby, come here. I can’t believe you’ve had this weighing on your chest all this time.”
Sniffling, you clutch onto his shirt. “It’s okay if- if you leave. I’d understand.”
Bucky feels his heart break. How hurt must you have been in the past to be so accustomed to being treated so badly?
“Listen to me,” He begins sternly, stroking your cheek. “Remember when we first met?”
A soft laugh leaves your mouth. Your first meeting was an absolute disaster - some wannabe villain was causing havoc in New York, and attacked a bar while you were in it because the mayor’s son was partying there that night, too. Bucky and the Falcon were thankfully there to save the day, and Bucky took your number while you were getting wheeled away in an ambulance.
“It wasn’t that pretty little dress that truly caught my attention. And, although it definitely helped, it wasn’t your gorgeous face either,” He teases, wrapping his arms tighter around you. “It was the way you were asking everyone if they were okay and needed help, all while having a broken leg and arm yourself. The way you offered to help some guy pull a table off his friend, ignoring your own pain. That selflessness and purity is what drew me into you, and I saw the angel inside you.”
You bite down on your lip, doing your best not to cry.
“And the last time I checked, acne doesn’t kill the angel,” He goes on to say, placing a kiss on your cheek. “And it sure as all hell can’t kill the way I feel for you.”
Still not convinced, you take in a shaky breath. “You haven’t seen it yet,” You repeat lowly, your eyes on the ground.
Bucky pulls you onto his lap, his loving gaze never once faltering. “So show me.”
Knowing it’s the next thing you have to do, you brace yourself. You loosen the robe before pulling it down your shoulders, facing away from Bucky as you expose your back to him. Unable to see his reaction.
There’s a short silence, during which your heart clenches. and then, making your stomach flutter, you feel him press a tender kiss to your back.
“Buck,” You whisper, your eyes wide. “What are you doing?”
“Kissing my girl,” He replies soothingly, before wrapping his arm around your bare chest, his cold watch pressing to your nipple. “Is that such a crime?”
Having expected him to be disgusted, you’re overwhelmed by his calm, unmoved demeanor. You’re moved to tears, and this time you can’t hold them back.
Bucky gently rocks you on his lap, his lips close to your ear. “I am so sorry that, somewhere along the line, someone made you feel like your body is something to be ashamed of. I’m sorry that you’ve had to be in the presence of people that are so insecure and self-hating, that all they can do is project negativity and hate onto others. But I promise you, baby, I’m gonna love you a hundred times as hard as they hurt you. I’m gonna love you until you’re sick of me,” He says, making you giggle as he kisses your cheek. “I’m gonna love you until all you know is love. And then I’ll keep loving you after that, my pretty little birdie.”
You meet his eyes, your blurry vision doing little to stifle his beauty. Even through your tears, you can see him for the angel he is. And he brings out the angel in you.