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Kim is the name Chay loathes the most as of this moment.
It hasn’t even been ten minutes since Chay witnessed it with his own eyes. He felt his eyes watering, not willing to accept what’s happening.
It was strange enough to see Kim in the mansion from his balcony, but the most unbelievable sight was seeing him smiling so widely and hugging another man who barely walked in his visual range, leaving Chay shaking with anger. Kim hugged the man first, looking at him as if checking if he was hurt, and Porchay’s heart broke a little bit.
He never initiated anything with Chay, only reacting if the younger one hugged or kissed him first. Even their dates, he was the one planning them, only getting Kim’s approval and nothing else, not even a suggestion.
So how could he move on so easily? How could all their memories mean nothing for him so he’d go dating someone so soon, all while knowing that Porchay lives there and would know anyway with how fast and easy gossip reached people in the mansion?
I guess he really never liked me.
Porchay refused to leave his room since that day. The maids deliver his meals, knowing better than asking questions, and with Porsche being on a mission, no one would bother him for a while.
He tried to convince himself before, that the “Kim issue” was over, that he was over him and had no feeling for the younger mafia song. But to whom exactly is he lying? He still had feelings for the man, if the tears on his face were any clue.
His phone buzzes for a second, the notification reading a “Wanna play?” message. And while Chay contemplated not answering, the sender was his only friend after giving up on the shitty group he went out with at the bar the last time he’d seen Kim.
“I want to commit arson.” Is what he sends back.
An hour later, his bedroom’s door flies open. Letting in the only person, besides Tankhun, who has no respect for privacy and doesn’t care enough about knocking on his door: Macau.
“What happened, bestie? Why are we moping around?” Macau wastes no time, sitting down on the bed Chay was lying on. If there was anything both of them loved the most about the other, it was honesty, so Macau knew Chay wouldn’t lie to him.
“First of all, ew. Second, we aren’t mopping, I am.” Because I just had to be stupid and unlucky , is left unsaid.
“Same difference. Now tell me what happened?”
“He’s here.” Chay doesn’t even need to state a name, the ‘ he’ was hint enough. His friend, upon hearing their little story and seeing how keen Chay was on not pronouncing his name, went as far as jokingly calling him “he who must not be named”.
“And you’re supposed to be over him.”
“Easy for you to say, you haven’t been through it.” Chay sighs, “but to answer your question, he was with someone, you know, hugging, laughing and all…”
“Do you want me to beat him up?” Chay glares at him the second he hears his sentence. “Damn baby, you’re down. I can still get my brother to beat him up if you want, he actually likes you.”
It was true, during their short time meeting, Chay managed to find his way through Vegas’s heart, and even got Venice to like him.
“None of you should beat up people for making me sad.”
“Well, we can and we will. Just say the word.” It makes Chay smile at least, maybe having people in his life isn’t so bad.
Macau ends up staying over, having to listen to Chay rant about how unfair falling in love with Kim was, how caring he was during their relationship and how cruel it is to date right under his nose. After long discussions, and few hours spent on the balcony trying to catch a glimpse of Kim’s boyfriend, and Kim himself if possible, they finally come to a conclusion: the man is Big, Kim’s bodyguard and the only one he allows to follow him everywhere.
Chay doesn’t feel any better at this information, only resurrecting to crying even more in front of his friend.
Three days. It takes Macau three days to decide that Chay needs to get out of his room, and if Kim was dating someone and already moved on, then Chay should just learn to exist around that fact. Both he and his brother spent hours on call, cursing Kim and trying to get Chay to smile or at least feel slightly better, yet nothing was working.
Chay’s sour and sad mood is apparent as they go down after lunch and unsurprisingly find Khun, who screams the second he sees him.
“What's wrong with my baby?” He squishes Chay's face as he looks at his sad kicked puppy expression before he turns to glare at Macau. “What have you done to him?”
“The call is coming from inside the house.” Macau scoffs. “You should ask your brother. If he has so much time to spare he should probably focus on work and not breaking people’s hearts then dating around them.”
“Macau!” Chay wants the earth to open and swallow him. While almost everyone in the house knows of what happened, everyone made sure to not talk about it in front of Chay and he appreciated it the most.
Having Macau openly talk about the issue with someone from the main family, especially Kim's own brother, is weird, maybe even humiliating.
“Kim? Dating?” Tankhun looks between the two of them before bursting into laughter, the mere idea of what they’re talking about bringing him to histeria. “No way Kim's dating anyone, he has no game. It was a miracle enough that he got you to date him. Come with me, we’ll get lots of ice cream.”
Macau doesn’t move when Khun links arms with Chay, separating the two of them and starts walking. He’s about to retract and go back home when Tankhun stops on his tracks and turns to him.
“What the hell are you waiting for? I said we’re going for ice cream!” He huffs waiting for him to join.
“Didn’t know I was included.”
It doesn’t take long for words to travel and everyone around the mansion to know the reason of Chay’s sadness.
He shouldn’t have expected any less coming from Tankhun as he was the biggest gossip in there, along with his bodyguards. Yet what he didn’t expect is the bodyguards, the maids and even the other workers to make sure to tell him nothing was going on between “the young master” and Big.
Not that Chay would believe their words against what he’d seen, but he appreciated how everyone was looking out for him and being nice. So he smiles at their words, not sure if it looks convincing but everyone around him looked relieved to see him out of the room he locked himself in.
The gossip goes as wild as reaching Kim, who stands behind the door listening as two maids talk about how cruel he was to start dating so soon. Kim wasn’t even interested by dating, matter of fact he never dated, all he had is few hookups from here and other night stands from there. He knew better than to get attached.
Or that was the case, until Chay happened.
Tankhun marches into Kim's room, unannounced as if he owns the place. “You need to fix it.” He says, arm crossed.
“What?”
“You fucked up, we all know it. Frankly Porsche would want your head on a fucking plate if he knew what exactly happened, and not even Kinn would stop him.” Tankhun sits on the couch, cross legged and Kim wonders where the lecture is going.
It’s not like he doesn’t know he caused damages.
“Kid got everyone wrapped around his fingers, even Vegas like him.” For a moment, Kim isn’t very sure if Tankhun is amazed with the fact or if he wants to murder Vegas for even allowing himself to look at Porchay. “Everyone would go to war for him!”
“I think you went off-track for a second.” Kim feels like reminding him, because not only did he need his brother out of the room, but he felt like Tankhun was trying to make a point and Kim was very much interested in anything that could help his situationship with Chay. Even if that meant holding a long and boring conversation with his brothers.
“Oh, right. Anyways. He’s hurt and so are you, but because you’re my baby brother I'm going to help you.”
That perks Kim's attention as his whole body shifts towards his brother. “And how will you do that?”
“Just leave the big job to phi, focus on being gentle and genuine to him.”
But as much as Kim would like to trust his brother and leave it all in his hands, he knew it was not an easy task.
Kim is an impulsive liar who doesn’t know when to stop. Chay loved Wik, the singer, the schoolmate, the simple guy he met and who agreed to tutor him. He liked the better version of him, the version that was for show, the version he can’t keep. He didn’t know Kim, he only knew of him and so far with what Kim has shown him, he was sure Chay wanted nothing to do with him.
“Good luck, Kimhan!” Tankhun cheers for him after a while and Kim looks at him, realizing that even when he was lost in his thoughts Khun stayed with him.
☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘
“I’m not dating anyone.” Kim says in an attempt to try to explain himself. He came out of no way as he always does, surprising the younger.
His brother was right, he needed to fix it. Chay may not forgive him but he still needed to not only explain himself but also make sure the younger understand that he’s only ever been interested in him and no one else. He couldn’t help but have hopes, people talked about how Chay was disappointed but maybe he still had a chance with him.
Chay stands in front of him, not expecting the man to address him at all. And if Chay was honest, he was too focused on looking at Kim’s handsome face to even register what the issue was.
Tankhun scoffs, clearly assessing the situation. Not all hope was lost, Chay was still smitten if his current reaction was any hint, yet while the older of the siblings wanted his brother and Chay to be together, it would be too boring if it were too easy.
“Because you don’t date people, you just break their hearts.” He outrages, throwing his hands around Chay, as if to protect him from the evil being that’s his little brother, which gains him both a glare from Kim and a chuckle from Chay.
“You can do whatever you want, it’s not my business.” Chay finally answers. He wants to believe him, but there was no reason for him to try to explain himself after so long. Maybe he just didn’t want Chay to feel awkward with the new boyfriend roaming around. He probably shouldn’t trust him.
He feels his face heat up the second he locks eyes again with Kim, the man still has the same effect on him and Chay knows that he’ll make a clown out of himself if he as much as opens his mouth in the other’s presence, that’s how much influence he had over him, so he lets Khun pull him away.
Kim, being left there, doesn’t know how to prove himself or his feelings to Chay.
But how is he even supposed to talk to the young man and explain when he is clearly not welcomed? If anything, he only visits that cursed mansion to be able to see him, even if it were from far away, he needed to be sure that Chay was fine, that he was unharmed.
They’re a few meters away from Kim’s praying ears when Khun whispers in Chay’s ears as if letting him in on a secret. “You’re blushing and your ears are red, we can’t have him win the battle so easily.”
Chay should really be thankful for Tankhun.
It takes some time but Tankhun works his magic with no questions asked, and the next thing everyone knows is Big being assigned as Chay’s personal bodyguard.
The news confuses both Big who doesn’t understand what exactly the younger needs to be protected from, and Chay, who doesn’t know if the deity hates him or if it is a personal grudge.
Big does a great job, he doesn’t talk, too focused on the younger’s ‘safety’ which seemed to be a little ironic as he was only staying in the mansion and not even meeting anyone. He followed him through the morning, cluelessly, and was now in the garden as Chay was scrolling down his phone, still not uttering a word and simply side eyeing him from time to time.
“You’re usually a chatty kid, everyone says you talk to them and are bubbly around them.” Big says out of nowhere. It was out of character for him to even speak of such things but he felt bothered. “So I wonder what made you avoid me.”
Sure, Chay had a reputation and everybody loved him. He was the nicest one in the whole mansion. Maid brought the wrong thing? No problem, he’d just smile and let them know afterwards. Bodyguards in need of something personal that they couldn’t ask directly? He’d beg his brother for help because “they’re human too and this is an emergency”. Someone feeling bad and needing to talk? Chay is their local therapist.
He was everyone’s happy pill, and talked to every staff member at least once. Not one soul in the mansion hated him. Yet Big seemed to be the exception. Chay didn’t even look him in the face, and would avoid him anytime they crossed paths, that is until he had to be in the same room as him, literally.
Chay jolts, turning to him not expecting what he just heard as he looks at him with wide eyes. He thought he was subtle but apparently he wasn’t. “I didn’t mean to offend you. I’m very sorry.”
“No, no. Don’t apologize, I'm just curious. If you don’t want to answer, that's fine too.”
It wasn’t like Big was at fault here, he had been professional and civilized the whole time for someone working with his man’s ex. Chay could never. His eyes start stinging the second Big appears in front of him and to avoid humiliating himself in front of the older man, he had just decided to run away from him.
“It’s- i don’t really know what to say.”
“I understand, it’s usually hard for people to be around me.” And Chay feels sad, because while Big thinks this happens because of his job and how seriously he takes it, Chay had the same problem, especially since he wasn’t very social at first.
“I’ll tell you!” He lets out before realizing what he just said. He set himself up. “It’s just, it’s nothing against you really but-” He sighs, now he really had to look at him and explain himself. “You’re always with kim.”
Big looks at him, expecting him to elaborate.
This was about to be a long day , Chay guessed. “It’s because… me and Kim were- but also I thought you and him, but then everyone said it’s not what I think and-” he sighs again looking at Big’s face, worried he didn’t make sense. He really didn’t want to say it out loud.
“You thought I was dating…”
“You’re not?” The tiniest little bit of hope in Chay’s chest was suddenly going ecstatic at the simple idea that he was wrong and Kim was a single man. Not that they’re getting back together, but still. It would mean Kim didn’t just jump from one relationship to another, and that would mean something.
“Absolutely no- why would I date that brat?” He says before catching himself. Big almost looks disgusted before his face is hit with the realization.
Uh-oh!
Chay almost wants to defend Kim. He wasn’t that bad , was he? He makes the mistake to slightly smile in Big’s face as he sees his eyes sparkling in interest.
“You were dating Kim?” He slowly asks, suddenly looking interested, way too interested in fact, as he sat close to Chay, waiting for the confirmation.
“You don’t know?” is all the youngest could wonder out loud.
What was he supposed to even say? Yes, I've been in love with his singer persona since forever, got lucky to have him tutor me then steal my heart, had the best memories while dating him for months only to get my heart broken because mister Kimhan only looked at me since he was wary of my brother? Yeah, no. Just kill him instead.
“No. Did everybody know about this?” Big’s whole demeanor has changed and Chay suddenly feels closer to the man.
“You want to tell me no one in this huge house bothered with updating you on the only gossip in the family?” The younger one felt bad. Was Big an outcast between the bodyguards?
“We’re not very close. Me and the others, I mean.”
“That’s not nice, they should include you.”
Chay doesn’t know how exactly he went from running away from Big and avoiding him to gossiping with him everyday. The bodyguard has simply become an important part of his life, their routine included looking for information about Kim, wondering whether he’d man up and talk to Chay, talking shit about him, then focusing on whatever music the young man would like to work on.
Surprisingly, Big wasn’t as uptight as everyone expected him to be. “He just needed a chance and someone to warm up to him.” Chay’s mind supplied. He’d wake up Chay gently, make sure he doesn’t starve himself no matter how gloomy he feels…
Long gone is Big that stays a few steps away from the person he’s protecting. This one sits on the couch close to Chay, talks to him softly, reminds him that he will see worse things in life but it wouldn’t be the end of the world. This Big was so eager to hear Chay talk about the world, or his perspective of it.
Protecting Chay physically was not a hard task, Big had to protect both Kinn and Kim during bullet fire and made it alive with all of them with little to no scratches. Protecting the boy’s heart was another thing. It seemed almost impossible as Chay refused to heal, his heart was broken, his friends were all staff working for him now and he had no one his age, or close to, he would confine to besides Macau.
Big and the rest of the bodyguard body, maids and staff members all felt bad for the newest “Young Master” yet their hands were tied. They couldn’t exactly do anything to mend his broken heart besides trying their hardest to fulfill any simple task he requests.
“Big!” Tankhun’s voice reigns on the corridor, almost bringing him chills.
The bodyguard doesn’t usually deal with the man, only being polite to him as he’s never been assigned to him directly, yet still getting ordered left and right if Tankhun needed something and Big was just standing there, in his way.
“You’re dismissed, have Chay stay in my room for a movie night before you go.”
“I’ll stay with him.” He didn’t hear about any movie night, and while he knew he didn’t have to protect Chay from Tankhun -if anything Tankhun himself needed protection-, he couldn’t help feel worried about it.
“Are you disobeying me? Or do you want to join our movie night? If so, don’t be shy, just make sure to learn Mulan’s songs because if you’re not singing out loud with us then I'll be angry.”
Big gulps. He witnessed one movie night and it went in shambles, then swore to never ever set foot in there again. He’d rather fight for his life elsewhere.
“I’ll just make sure Chay is in your room before leaving.”
“Suit yourself.” He swings his robe with confidence and walks away. “Now where is my dear idiotic brother?”
Chay should’ve realized something was not it when not only was he going for the movie night without a bodyguard but also didn’t find anyone in Tankhun’s room when he stepped in.
He knew he didn’t have to worry as Big wouldn’t put him in any kind of dangerous situation. Big was the closest thing he got to a brother since Porsche left for his longtime mission and while everyone was treating him pretty well, he appreciated it the most, feeling guilty about avoiding the man at first.
So yes, he trusted Big. But Tankhun was mischievous and Chay’s thoughts are proven right when instead of Khun, Kim steps in the room.
He almost starts panicking, thinking he’d have to go through a confrontation so soon, or even worse, that Kim may just ignore his existence.
Fortunately for him, Tankhun’s bodyguards follow in, already taking place, trying not to look at the obvious awkwardness between Chay and Kim who were the only ones standing in the room. Pete joins in too, surprising them.
Pete being there was a good sign, it meant Vegas was close by, and Vegas was a friend. At least that’s what Chay assumed, the man was nice enough to him and never missed a chance to talk shit about Kim and curse him if it meant Chay would feel slightly better about himself and his situation.
Tankhun pushes everyone to the side as he sits in between and Chay finds himself squished between both brothers.
Chay usually likes horror movies, they make him forget about his shitty reality and he enjoys seeing how stupid people put themselves in situations they can’t get out of. Yet this time the only horror story he could focus on is his.
Tankhun was on his right, way too focused on the movie that probably started 20 minutes ago, Chay doesn’t really remember. Kim was on his left, he did not move at all.
It brought back some memories. Them watching movies on his couch at home, Kim smiling at how Chay analyzes what could happen in the movie, sometimes shutting him up with popcorn and seeing how Chay would start blushing and avoid his eyes in embarrassment. Or being inside Kim’s own apartment and watching whatever was on the Tv all while cuddling.
Chay was happy then, he was clueless but happy. And God sometimes he finds himself wishing he never found out Kim was the youngest in the clan. He’d still be blissfully dating him, clueless yet joyful.
He needed something to keep him grounded, anything.
Chay wasn’t the only person in the room reminiscing their memories together. Kim misses what they were, misses holding him close, hearing him talk about his silly stories. He misses him.
The second he feels Chay starting to fidget, Kim feels like getting bold. He knows what to do as they’ve talked about this before. Chay growing restless and Kim grounding him with small touches, a hug, few pats in the head.
So he slides his hand in the younger’s and interwins their fingers, gently stroking his hand with his thumb and Chay’s eyes go wide as he turns looking at him but Kim only glances at him and nods.
It’s surprisingly comforting to Chay who finds himself slowly breathing, as if picking up the usual rhythm. He doesn’t take his hand away from the other, doesn’t show any signs of discomfort and if anything he leans a little bit on him. There is a sense of familiarity in the action for both of them, both missed being close to the other.
Just this time , Chay allows himself just this one moment to be weak, to fall into a bad habit, to fall right into the trap. I don’t want it to be just this time , he finds himself thinking.
As he sniffs, not realizing he started crying, the whole room turns to look at him. Pete almost opens his mouth to ask if he is okay yet stops himself upon seeing Tankhun and Kim having a silent conversation over Chay’s head. It wasn’t his cue.
Kim takes his hands away and before Chay could even react, he wraps his arm around the younger’s shoulders, properly embracing him this time. After he makes sure Chay looks comfortable, he interwins his free hand with Chay’s, going back to stroking it softly.
Tankhun gasps at the displayed affection in front of him and he would've gagged had he not been rooting for the couple. But he is glad Chay is no longer crying.
It was safe to say that no one in the room cared anymore about the movie besides Chay, all taking turns to take glances at the young couple. Watching Kim caring about anyone was a weird sight, he barely even showed affection to his brothers and hated humans in general.
The movie eventually comes to an end, and Tankhun starts bickering with Pete about how he’s never in the mansion anymore. It was all background noise to both Kim and Chay but at least the atmosphere was comfortable and no one was exactly making feel judged.
“Vegas stole you away from me!” Tankhun was never letting it go. “He’s not even a good boyfriend.”
“He’s doing his best.” Pete says, not feeling like correcting Khun and starting new arguments about his boyfriend.
“I think he’s pretty good.” Chay doesn’t know what exactly makes him defend Vegas in front of everyone, but he felt like it. He hasn’t moved from in between Kim’s arms, still holding hands and looking small.
“Really?” Kim wonders, looking at him and the second Chay lifts up his head and looks him in the eyes to answer, Kim forgets even what they’re talking about.
“Yes. He’s nice, loves Pete a lot and does his best to keep him happy.” Chay states. He’d known Vegas enough to understand that if there was something he takes seriously in his life, other than keeping his brother safe, it would be his relationship with Pete.
“You’re too naive.”
“I know, how else would I have fallen for your lies?” Chay retorts. Kim, with all the lies he’d been telling, had no right to judge Vegas’s relationship.
Pete stayed silent. It may be his relationship they’re talking about but he felt like this was a conversation with many undertones. These kids need to communicate, he sighs looking at Tankhun who shrugs.
Surprisingly, Vegas was at the room’s door listening to Chay defending him and slowly smiling at how the kid stood for himself.
Apparently Kim moved back into the mansion. It explains why he’s been seeing him more often than he usually did, yet it doesn’t explain why he was back and if it was permanently.
So Chay takes it upon himself to be confident and walks right into Kim’s room to ask him, as he didn’t see the man anywhere during the day.
“The guards said-” Chay starts as he sits on the side of the bed, not looking at Kim’s face.
“That I'm sick, yes I know.”
“You’re sick?” Chay finally looks at him, seeing his red nose and bunch of tissues in his hand. “Are you okay? Did you see a doctor?”
He’s worried , Kim realizes. He still cares.
“I don’t need one.” Kim was stubborn, everyone had already told him at least once in their lives, but it wasn’t something he could change overnight. “You’re going to call someone who’s not the family doctor into a mafia house?” He asks when he sees Chay take out his phone.
“Well, mafia people get sick too apparently.”
“And I already refused to see a doctor, it’s just a cold.” Suddenly Chay’s in his face, checking his temperature. and Kim is sure his heart beats are doing some kind of acrobatics he’s never heard of.
“Bullshit, you have a fever and your eyes are red.” Chay looks at his face then checks his pulse.
“As I said, cold. It’ll go.”
“Don’t move, stay here, I'm coming back.” He says before running off out of the room. Chay is not heartless to let him rot with his sickness, he was a good human and any good person would help. The fact that he was in love with the man isn’t helping either.
“Chay?” Kinn finds him looking for meds, after filling a bowl with cold water and getting a cloth to use.
“Hi. Do you know where I can find a thermometer? Kim isn’t looking so good, I think he’s sick.”
Yeah because he never sleeps , Kinn wants to say. “Wait, did you just say he’s sick?”
It's a few minutes later that Chay barges in with not only what he needs to take care of Kim but also Kinn, Tankhun, Big and the family doctor.
“My baby brother!” wails Tankhun. “He’s dying! Kinn stop him from dying, you can’t let him die, he’s still young.”
“God, I'd rather die than deal with you all right now.” Kim closes his eyes, maybe if he acts like they’re not there around him would make them leave him alone.
“I'm sorry, they insisted on coming with me.” Chay whispers as he sits close to him on the bed, not realizing he’s holding Kim's hand.
“He just needs to monitor the fever.” The doctor says after checking him, handing them a prescription. “This is what he’ll need to take, but other than that, he’ll be fine soon.”
“I already told you it’s nothing serious.”
“You still need someone to stay with you.” Big says, and before he opens his mouth to suggest someone, Chay beats him into it.
“I’ll take care of him.” He says a little too fast, face heating as he curses himself internally. Kim opens his eyes to look at him, but Chay is too busy avoiding Tankhun’s knowing eyes to realize it.
“Are you sure?” Big asks, just to make sure. He nods, sure he’d never taken care of Kim this way before but he had plenty of experience taking care of Porsche whenever the man fell sick, it wasn’t a weekly occurrence but he still knew what to do.
“Well, Kim is in good hands. If something happens, call for either of us.” Kinn makes sure to check Kim's temperature one more time as he speaks.
“Leave!” Kim groans.
Tankhun winks at Chay before leaving, and Big mentions that he’ll be just outside of the room had either of them been in need of something.
“Your brothers love you.” Chay says after a while.
“I guess.” He doesn’t really talk about it, but he knows they care in their own way. “What is it that you wanted to talk to me about?”
“Oh, that?” He bites his lips. When he opened the door, feeling too confident, he didn’t expect to find Kim sick. Now that they were sitting on the man’s bed and holding hands, he wasn’t so sure he should ask, it wasn’t his place really.
“You’re thinking too loud. I can almost hear your thoughts.”
“Then do me a favor and tell me why are the guards saying you’re moving back here?” He scoffs before realizing what he just said. The man had tricked him into letting him know what’s on his mind so easily. Maybe Kim just knows him that well.
Kim is smiling at him. “Maybe I just missed home?”
“You run away from here.” It was obvious for Chay that Kim was lying.
“Maybe I just missed you?”
☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘
Kim was fuming. Anytime he tried to approach Chay, he’d run away, the staff around the house were even helping telling him if Kim arrived so he’d lock himself inside his room and Kim was so close to fire every single person coming in his way.
Kim thought there was some kind of improvement after spending time together, he was clearly wrong.
“Just tell me what I did this time.” Kim’s voice could be heard in the corridor, he was standing in front of Chay’s room, the door slightly open yet the younger man was standing in front of him.
“You didn’t even tell Big about us and he’s always with you.”
What?
Kim didn’t even know Big and Chay became buddies and would talk about him.
Sure he knew he was Chay’s newest bodyguard, he trusted him the most with keeping Chay safe and he himself had asked Big about Chay’s whereabouts, but he didn’t expect to be a subject to their conversation. Hell he didn’t expect there to be any type of conversation between them after Chay thought they were dating, but as always Chay proves him wrong.
“Last time you were mad I was even talking to Big, now that you’re friends with him you’re mad about me not talking to him. I don’t understand.”
“You only understand what you want.” Chay closes the door behind him and walks even faster down the corridor in an attempt to escape from Kim.
“No, we’re not doing this.” Kim holds his wrist making him turn and face him.
Chay’s a little too close to him he can feel Kim breathing on his face and damn. The older man is still as handsome as before and if Chay doesn’t hold himself he may lean in and-
“We’re going to talk, you and I. And we’re not leaving the conversation until we figure out everything.”
The words hit Chay like a truck and he starts shaking, he doesn’t feel like talking now, even less about how Kim only used him, he doesn’t want to relive all the rollercoaster of emotions he had to go through.
“Hey.” Kim softly says, hands on the other’s shoulders keeping him steady. “What's wrong, baby?”
“I don't want to talk about it right now.” He doesn't even register the pet name used on him, but Kim pulls him in a hug, soothing him slowly as if he’s holding a fragile baby.
“It’s okay, it doesn’t have to be now. I’ll wait.” He slowly backs away, but this time Chay holds onto him tightly.
“No, don’t leave.” At first being away from Kim made sense, he was angry, then sad, then thought the man hid their relationship to his closest person because he was ashamed or maybe it wasn’t even important to him. Yet now that he’s held so close, that he’s feeling the warmth he’d been starving, Chay doesn’t think he can let go so easily.
“Alright, I'm not going anywhere. What do you want to do now?”
“Leave the house.”
And Kim doesn’t waste time. With his arm on Chay’s shoulders he guides him toward the entrance where they wait for the guards to bring him his car.
Chay’s inside the car, on the passenger seat, blinking multiple times and regretting how all his life decisions keep bringing him back to the man driving next to him. He sees the picture in the car and bites his lips again.
Kim keeps a polaroid of them with Chay holding an ice cream.
“I don't know why I'm doing this.” Chay starts, he figures out he’ll never be ready to talk about the issues anyways, so he’d rather get it out of his hair without the noisy ears in the mansion.
Kimhan doesn’t dare to open his mouth.
“It’s frustrating seeing you again since I moved here and the whole family said you cut them off unless something serious happens. At least when I didn't see you- ” Chay looks out the window, trying to find the right words yet resigns. “Who am I kidding? It’s all the same, being around you or not. I’m still in love and you’re still an asshole.”
Kim feels his own heart breaking when Chay turns his head to look at him, eyes watering. He wanted to wait for him to finish what he had to say to finally explain himself fully.
“Funny thing is I believed you loved me back.” He chuckles but it’s with no humor.
“I did, i do.” Screw his plan of not interrupting Chay until he’s done. “You can question everything I've done and said but this. My feelings are genuine.”
“And how exactly am I supposed to know about these feelings when you never talked about them. You didn’t even say it back.”
Kim knew he was in love, Chay didn’t. He needed to hear it with his own ears.
Except Kim looks pained, like he wants to explain but doesn’t know how to, then it hits Chay. “He’s emotionally constipated,” stated Big a few days ago, “all kinds of affection is a little foreign to him, so don’t hold him accountable for that.”
It didn’t help that even Tankhun warned him. “He’d never go crazy for someone’s kidnapping unless it’s me or kinn. He's just shit at feelings, so take it easy on him whenever you talk about it.”
So Chay, being Chay, spares him and looks out the window. “Big said you ran to rescue me without a bulletproof vest. It’s stupid, but thank you.”
“You’re my priority.”
It’s not an “i love you” or “i like you” yet Chay’s heart is already betraying him. For some reasons, having Kim say that out loud while he usually avoids any type of feeling’s confirmation is a huge step. Chay isn’t sure whether it’s forward or backward, but he’s sure his heart likes it a little too much.
Chay bites his lips for the nth time that day, feeling himself quivering already and Macau's voice in his head is screaming and shouting to not give in too easily. “Give him a hard time!”
“I don't know, didn’t feel like it in the past 3 months we dated.” He would not let Macau and Vegas down, they supported his crying session and even cursed Kim to hell and beyond whenever he was mentioned. He would not give in so easily.
“Four months.” Kim mumbles and if Chay didn’t pay attention he would’ve missed it.
“What?”
“It was four months. Four months and twelve days.”
“You counted?” Chay barely hides the little smile on his face, he doesn’t know why but the fact that Kim counted makes him feel some kind of accomplishment.
Chay already feels himself becoming a little happier than before, maybe he really needed to talk to Kim for everything to become more bearable.
“It’s important.” He answers.
Chay doesn’t know that Kim spent a long time on forums online reading about couple problems, finding out how one of the most important things in one’s relationship is knowing how long they’ve been in it. So he backtracked to their day one and started counting since that night.
“Maybe if we were still dating, it would be.”
“It doesn't matter, you already said you’re still in love with me. We can still give it a try.”
Kim wanted him back. Kim wanted to date Chay again, and this time for real. He knew Porsche was harmless, if anything Chay would be in danger either ways, be it as Kim’s boyfriend or Porsche’s brother, so Kim would rather have him close to him.
The idea of getting back together, that he actually loves him and wants him makes Chay’s eyes light up, but he can’t let Kim see holw excited he seems about the mere idea.
“Get off your high horse. What makes you believe I'd date you again?” The question did the exact effect Chay expected it to do, Kim looked like he’d rather be in hell than answer the question. “But I guess we can start as friends?”
Porchay wasn’t cruel, but he wasn’t stupid either. Forgiving Kim and going back to him so fast would make him an easy person, and anyone would take advantage of that, plus he needed to make sure of Kim’s feelings for him.
☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘
“I hate this!”
Kim looks like he was barely holding himself from committing murder when he barges into the room Kinn and Khun were in.
“I hate being friends, I hate the concept of friendship. It should be abolished.” He takes a drink and gulps it so fast that kinn rushes to his side, worried.
“What are we talking about?” Kinn looks at Khun, demanding answers about their brother’s behavior.
“Oh, boys problem, you know.” Kinn glances cluelessly at Khun again, who sighs dramatically. Seriously, how is he the only smart person in this family? “Remember your jealousy when Vegas was friends with Porsche?”
Kinn winces at the reminder.
“Well, it apparently runs in the family and Macau is now the problem.”
“Can’t we just destroy both of them?” Kim asks after his second drink. He is half serious, it could actually ease his pain and he’d go back to having Chay to himself, plus without them the Main Family’s problem would be half done too. If he were asked, he’d say he was one hundred percent reasonable.
“And have whom exactly as the head? Venice?” Kinn chuckles. It was the first time Kim came to them to talk about anything that wasn’t ‘work’, surprisingly enough it involved his love life.
“Works for me.”
“Well it doesn’t work for me because guess who’ll end up on the other side of Pete’s wrath?” It wasn’t really an argument, they were on slightly better terms with their cousins and were not going to ruin it over jealousy issues, especially if Macau was just befriending Chay.
It seemed harmless to everyone in the room but Kim.
“What makes him even stay with them?”
“What makes you even stay with us?” Khun crosses his arms, impatiently waiting for an answer he is sure he wasn’t getting but was as clear as the sun. “Exactly, he’s in love the same way you are. So sit down and explain what happened.”
“Sometimes you seem more fit for the lead than I am.”
“What can I say? I’m the eldest.”
They both look at each other when Kim actually sits down and spills.
“You know, the newest addition to the family was very much needed.” Kinn comments when their youngest brother is done with his ranting. He didn’t actually think Kim would open his mouth and share his thoughts and worries, and expected a sarcastic answer before he fled the scene as he always does. Yet Kinn can’t say he hates it, quite the opposite actually, he wanted to keep this version of Kim forever.
“For starters, you’re talking to us without being forced to do so.You eat with us and not alone like you used to.”
“I know you want nothing to do with the family business, but it feels good to have you back, even if you’ll go back to your apartment when it’ll all get better.”
“Are you ganging up on me?”
“No” Kinn answers at the same time an overjoyed Khun says “Yep.”
It’s few days later that Kim cannot stand it anymore and confronts Chay about how him being 24/7 with his cousin bothers him.
“But he’s my friend.” Chay tilts his head, the innocent act taking Kim by surprise. He can’t be the only one bothered with not being together and ‘having someone in the middle’.
“There is no one in the middle, Macau is my best friend. He’s the one who heard me talk about you breaking my heart for hours without complaints, he’s also the one who pushed me to talk to you many times and solve things.” He takes a step forward and takes a look at him. “I wouldn’t be giving you the time of the day had it not been for him, so if anything you should be thankful to him.”
Kim thinks he’ll go crazy at the simple idea of being thankful to his cousin and Chay almost smiles at the sight.
“So you’d rather date my cousin than me.” How Kim came to such a stupid conclusion was beyond Chay and frankly speaking he was tired of their little game. They were something but weren’t dating yet and Chay was dead tired. He’d rather have the man for himself.
There goes nothing.
Chay puts his hands on Kim’s shoulders, looking him right in the eyes and bringing him closer to him. “I’d rather date you, but you’re not making a move. I asked you out the last time, I'm not doing it again.”
Next thing he knows, he’s getting kissed and officially gets a boyfriend.
☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘ ☘
“Oh no, this isn’t happening. You can’t date my brother.” Porsche states out loud before delivering a punch to Kim’s face.
Chay stands in front of Kim before his brother punches him a second time. “What are you doing?”
“I can’t approve of this!”
“And why is that?”
“You’re still young.”
“You dated a dozen people when you were my age.” Chay sounds frustrated, Porsche can’t be causing problems now that he’s finally able to date Kim in peace.
“He’s a mafia.”
Chay scoffs. “So is your boyfriend, or is it because yours is a leader?”
“It’s not the same, Chay!”
“Yes it is, they’re siblings.”
“He already hurt you once, he’ll do it again.”
“Same thing can be said about Kinn.” He refutes before looking at the man who was by his brother’s side. “No offense, I'm trying to make a point here.”
If anyone tried to interfere, it fell into deaf ears because none of the brothers was backing down and not even Tankhun could make his words heard.
“My word is final. I disapprove of Kim, I don't want him anywhere around you.”
“Fine, and I disapprove of your boyfriend. If i have to break up with Kim, you should break up with Kinn too.”
“Hey, what do I have to do with this?” Kinn looked worriedly at his own brother who only shrugged. “Traitor” he whispered, but it wasn’t like Kim could do anything either, he just decided to trust Chay and let it be.
Porsche looks conflicted and Chay, even though he was angry, knows he already won. “Can I at least punch him?” he grints.
“Sure, be my guest!” Chay moves to the side as Kim gets one more punch in his face that he doesn’t even bother dodging.
“Great!”
“Amazing!”
They each huff then drag their respective boyfriends away, leaving Tankhun, Macau and the rest of the guards in the middle.
“This is not fair!” He screams too, holding both hands in the air, “Someone better take my hand and drag me away too, right now.”
Macau stands still where he was left, looking at Tankhun being taken away by both Pol and Arm, then sighs. “This family…”
The second Porchay and Kim make it to Kim’s room, Chay makes him sit on the bed and checks his face. “God, it must hurt.”
“It’s nothing.” He says as his boyfriend gets the first aid kit. “How do you feel?”
“You're the one getting punched.”
“You’re the one fighting his brother.” he flinches as Chay pokes his bruise a little too hard. “I’m just worried about you.”
“Worry about yourself. I’d hate to have a bruised boyfriend so make sure you stay intact and in one piece all the time.”
“Yes sir!”
Kim pulls Chay on his lap and hugs him, gently stroking his back. “It’s okay, siblings fight all the time.”
“I know, I just want him to be supportive about this, otherwise it’ll always feel wrong. I know I won't be at ease until I get his approval. Porsche is the most important person to me in this world.” He looks at Kim as if making sure his words didn’t hurt him, but he can’t lie, as much as he loves Kim, Porsche will always be his number one.
Kim smiles at him, stroking his hair. “I don’t mind being second to him.”
It’s later that night when they’re wrapped under the sheets that the bedroom’s door flies open, and Kim groans because who the fuck even dares to bother his time with Porchay.
“You, the second you hurt my brother I’ll kill you myself, I don't care. And Chay, you know where to find me if something happens. Bye.”
“I love you too!” Chay shouts as his brother closes the door behind him.
“What about me?” Kim whispers, getting a peck in the lips as an answer before they both slumber back to sleep.