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It's been 4 months since Kagami had left Japan to play basketball in America. He still can't stop thinking about his last goodbye with Kuroko, he knows he will see him again one day and doesn't regret following his dream, but he feels as though he left part of himself back in Japan but can't seem to understand what it was.
"Damn" Kagami mumbles to himself as he sits up in his bed after getting about four hours of sleep. He listens to the loud air conditioner, it's the middle of spring and it gets hotter faster so he puts the AC on full blast at night. He gets up to grab a glass of water when he hears the chime of a notification on his phone. Kuroko?
2:12am
Kuroko: Hey Kagami, the team just won a practice match so I have some free time, how's your day?
He lets out a little chuckle.
Kagami: You dumbass, it's the middle of the night, haven't you learned our time difference by now?
Kuroko: Oh sorry, I keep forgetting
Kuroko: I'll let you go back to sleep
Kuroko and Kagami have been in contact with eachother almost everyday since the day he left. Even so, Kuroko has still not gotten used to the time difference and texts Kagami at the most godawful hours of the day.
Kagami: nah it's okay, I was already up so dont worry abt it
Kuroko: you should probably fix your sleep schedule, I know you dont sleep like at all...get meds for that or somthing.
Kagami: whatever I'm fine now get back to your team before you get lost like a puppy
Kuroko: lol okay, sorry again, I'll figure out this time difference thing👍
Kuroko puts his phone back in his bag to catch up with the group. The team all planned on eating out that afternoon.
"Oh god has anyone seen Kuroko?" Riko darts her head back and forth to find the blue haired pain-in-the-butt out of sight.
"I'm right here coach."
Everyone jumps up startled from him appearing out of nowhere, as per usual.
"Jeez you gotta stop doing that I can't keep track of a dozen high schoolers on the street you know?!" Riko proceeded to pull his ear and scold him for trailing behind the group. The captain and everyone else didn't think much of it and just stared awkwardly in the middle of the sidewalk.
"Hey um..." Kuroko spoke, continuing to walk along side the group.
"Does anyone know the exact time difference from Tokyo to America?" Kuroko asked looking up curiously.
"I believe it's about 15 hours." Kiyoshi says with no hesitation, for the dumbass that he is, he's always been a know-it-all.
"Oh...I had no idea." Kuroko grips the strap of his bag feeling a little guilty for not knowing that sooner.
"Why are you curious about that?" Hyuga chimes in.
Kuroko stares at his captain blankly.
"No reason." He looks down to his feet in embarrassment.
As the attention wavered from Kuroko, Kiyoshi and Hyuga looked at each other somehow having a vague idea of what their teammate was thinking about.
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Later that night Kuroko stared at his ceiling not being able to fall asleep. He turns his head to his nightstand where his phone was charging and takes a peek at the clock.
It's probably daytime over there now.
8:16pm
Kuroko: Is it daytime now?
Kagami hears his phone vibrate on his bedside table. He sees the notification and feels a smile spread across his face as he sits up in bed.
Kagami: Yeah it is
Kagami: And I'm guessing it's around bedtime for you.
Kuroko: That's right
Kagami: So what's up? Cant sleep?
Kuroko: Seems that way
Kagami: well what do you want me to do read you a bedtime story?? I just woke up man go to sleep
Kuroko smiles widely as he turns over on his side to text back.
Kuroko: 15 hours.
Kagami: huh? what're you talkin about now shortie??
Kuroko: That's the exact time difference of Tokyo and America, I just found that out :>
Kagami's eyes go wide, he knew the time difference was pretty much close to a full day but he didn't actually know that exact number.
Kagami: Is that so?
Kagami: hah, well I knew that much already but it's good to know you finally know when you can message me or whatever..
Kuroko feels his face heat up as he reads the subtle affirmation.
Kuroko: yup, but now that I think about it, it's a pretty big gap between our time zones...
Kagami got up out of bed to wake up more. While reading that, he felt his heart sink a little.
Kuroko: okay, I'll let you go now Kagadummy
Kuroko: talk later?
Kagami: sure man, whatever
Kuroko turns over his side and plugs his phone back in to charge for the night. The second he puts down the phone, his smile fades away. He can't seem to put it into words but he almost feels an emptiness everytime he talks with Kagami nowadays. It hasn't been long since he's seen him in person but he can't seem to shake off the feeling that things just aren't the same. Every game, every outting with the team, and every day that goes by without Kagami there, felt a bit...different.
Kuroko didn't realize it at the time but whenever Kagami played basketball with him, it felt like he was the first person since entering highschool to truly see Kuroko for who he was and because of that, he grew along side Kagami, not only as a player, but as someone he was proud to be. But now, that feeling of knowing someone was by his side, was no longer there, and it left a pit inside his stomache. Fifteen hours He pressed his lips together in frustration and shut his eyes.
Kuroko slowly woke up to the sun shining through his window. He sat at the edge of his bed and stretched out his arms and legs.
After thinking about everything last night, he still hasn't sorted out his feelings, and to be completely honest, he still doesn't understand what he should even be feeling. So if anyone knows anything about feelings he should go to the one person he trusts enough to talk about these things with.
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"TETSUUU" Kuroko hears a familiar voice behind him and suddenly finds himself tackled to the ground.
"Hi Momoi, how've you been?" He gets up off the ground to face the excited girl who tackled him down.
"I've been alright! But I have to say it's not like you to invite me out like this? So what's up?" The pink haired girl stares at him a bit confused.
"Let's sit down first." Kuroko gestures to the empty bench against the chain linked fence on the side of a local street basketball court.
"So you know how you like me?"
Momoi got caught off guard by this statement and found herself blushing profusely.
"Oh? Um- haha well, why do you ask hahaha-"
"It's just that, I'm having trouble figuring out what my feelings mean and what I'm currently feeling."
Momoi suddenly realizes that he is serious and waits for him to explain.
"Ever since Kagami left for America, I can't seem to pinpoint what I'm feeling or rather I don't know what I'm supposed to feel." He looks down clasping his hands together tightly.
Momoi pauses for a moment to think.
"Well, regarding my feelings for you, you know that I care about you a lot. You're so kind and thoughtful, I've always admired your passion to do your best, but I don't know if I understand your question Tetsuya." She shifts her body to face him.
"Hmm, I guess what I'm trying to say, is I don't feel the same as I did when Kagami was around, I felt like he was the closest person I've had since starting highschool and now that he's gone..." He starts to feel his eyes burn as tears fall down his cheeks. "I think I miss him...I miss him a lot and I don't know what I'm supposed to do about it..." He chokes on his words. "I'm so proud that he is following his dreams but it feels as though I'm so empty without him here, I dont know what these feelings mean, I'm so confused-"
Momoi pulls him into a hug almost immediately, trying to hold back tears to comfort her friend in pain.
"I think you already know what you're feeling Kuroko." She pulls away slightly to look him in the eye and smiles warmly.
He wipes away his tears and pauses for a moment.
"So...what am I feeling?" He stares blankly.
Momoi suddenly bonks him in the head in frustration.
"For someone who pays attention to details you sure are clueless!"
Kuroko suddenly feels guilty for still not catching on, rubbing the spot on his head where Momoi hit him, he continues to stare confusedly.
"IT'S LOVE YOU MORON!" She bonks him in the head once more.
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Kagami just got back home from practice only to see a blonde girl wearing nothing but a towel in his living room.
"ALEX??? WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING HERE AND PUT SOME DAMN CLOTHES ON!"
"Okay okay jeez, I thought you'd be happy to see your master, I flew all the way back over here and I don't even get a hello?!"
"Ugh whatever, I'll make dinner then." He grumbles.
As they sat across from eachother eating the dinner that Kagami prepared, he felt her stare at him a bit too intensely.
"What now." Kagami noticed the woman staring intently at him.
"Why are you sad now?" She said bluntly, squinting her eyes at him.
"Huh?? Who said I'm sad, I'm not fricking sad." The redhead boasted defensively.
"Don't try to lie Kagami, I've known you since you were a child. You might have figured out how to disguise your feelings but you can't hide them from me."
Kagami pauses to think of an answer. Evidently he can't come up with an excuse.
"Well I don't think I'm sad...it's just, uh, I don't know okay now stop asking questions-"
"Taiga Kagami."
He puts down his chopsticks and sits up straight.
"Okay okay...I know I made the right choice coming back here, to America, but recently...I guess it's been kinda...lonely." His voice softens and he stares down at his lap to avoid eye contact.
"Is it because you miss you're old teammates?" The older women sympathizes.
"Well, I think that's part of it..? I mean I do miss playing with my team n' stuff but I'm not sure if that's the whole truth..." His voice got even quieter and he feels a lump forming in his throat.
"What do you mean by that?"
He remains quiet to collect his thoughts.
"Did you know that the time difference of Tokyo and America is fifteen hours?" He pressed his lips together and fixes his gaze upwards to suppress his tears. "Kuroko told me that."
Alex stares at him putting the pieces together in her head.
"Well it would make sense that you miss him more than the rest. You two were closer than anyone else on that team." She looked at him sympathetically, she's never seen him like this before. Kagami has never been he type to talk about his feelings, much less talk to his mentor about them.
"That's part of it. These feelings of mine, they've been hard to deal with recently and sometimes when I think about my time with him, I just get so frustrated because I don't know what these feelings are and I don't know how to talk to him anymore. Everytime I text with him, everytime I call him, everytime I think about him...I just feel empty inside, in a way that I've never felt before."
The room went completely silent.
"Hmh. I think I understand now..." Alex smiles and stands up.
"You care about Kuroko a lot don't you?" She puts her hands on her hips and looks down at him.
"Yeah, I do."
"And you feel like you're in pain not being by his side and find yourself thinking about him a lot?"
"Um...yeah...spot on but what're you getting at here?"
"I can't believe this day has come, I'm so proud of you Kagami, you're growing up so fast-"
"What are you talking about woman??" Kagami stands up to face her now getting frustrated.
"Kagami, you like him." She bluntly states, putting her hands on his shoulders.
"Yeah so what? He's my friend of course I like him??" Kagami is now visibly confused furrowing his thick eyebrows together.
"Kagami."
"What."
"You like him as someone who's more than a friend...you know?"
He opens his mouth but closes it finding himself perplexed and takes a moment to think.
"Oh...OH SHI-"
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The next morning, Kagami lazily walks out of his room to the kitchen to make his breakfast. As he's cooking he replays the conversation with Alex last night. I guess my feelings for him are real huh...
As the redhead gets lost in his thoughts he hears the familiar sound of a notification chime on his phone. Funny enough, it's Kuroko.
8:10am
Kuroko: Good night, or should I say good morning to you and for me it's night.
Kagami chuckles while eating his eggs.
Kagami: you're getting better at the time difference
Kagami: just woke up btw
Kuroko: cool
Kuroko: Hey I've been thinking, sorry if this is out of the blue and you dont have to answer if you dont want to but...
Kuroko is typing...
Kuroko stopped typing
Kuroko is typing...
Kuroko: Do you know anything about relationships? And also did you ever have a girlfriend Kagami?
That was so out of pocket that Kagami almost choked on his breakfast. To be fair Kuroko never brought up the topic of relationships at all.
Kagami: uh no. and I dont really know anything in that department honestly
Kagami: why, did something happen with you and your girlfriend?
Kuroko: oh I dont have a girlfriend lol
Kagami: wait I thought that pink haired girl was your girlfriend, what's her face? Momoi??
Kuroko: oh no, we're not together in that way.
The conversation went silent for a moment.
Kuroko: okay nevermind about the relationship thing, sorry to bother you.
Kagami: alright then
Kagami: good night, btw
That guy is so random sometimes, heh like a lost puppy in the dog park.
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"Momoi why did you take my phone, you didn't have to do that, I bet he was confused." Kuroko said shooting her a glare as they walked side by side on the dim-lighted sidewalk.
"Sorry! You weren't being straight forward and I was trying to help, I'll buy you icecream as an apology!"
"Hmm...fine. But that was still uncool." The blue haired boy pouted.
"Can't believe he almost forgot my name though, that guy is kind of clueless haha!"
"Yeah, that's why we call him Kagadummy."
"So anyways, are you sure you wanna go through with it? Your plan to visit him in America?" She smirked raising an eyebrow at him.
"Yes, I do."
"When did you come up with that idea anyway, that's quite the bold move Tetsu!"
"Well I was thinking it for a while but I just didn't have the time to plan nor how to go about it."
Kuroko smiled at the ground finding his face feeling warm as the night breeze flowed through his hair.
The moment he got home he collapsed in his bed exhausted from the extra long practice that afternoon, along with hanging out with Momoi that evening. Maybe it was the exhaustion or the anxiety, but as Kuroko pressed his face in his pillow, he began to lose himself in his thoughts once more. What if he doesn't want to see me? Is this really a good idea? Or am I just being selfish... As Kuroko swam through his thoughts he heard his phone ring. Kagami! He sat up quickly, almost feeling embarrassed of how excited he got from seeing the caller ID.
11:05pm
Kagami: "Yo Kuroko"
Kuroko: "Hi Kagami what's up?"
Kagami: "I wanna ask you something."
Kagami: "You don't gotta answer if it's too personal."
Kuroko: "Sure what is it?"
Kagami: "So I thought you and Momoi-chan were dating, why not?"
Kuroko wasn'texpecting that and sat there wide eyed. Why bring up Momoi all of a sudden?
Kuroko: "Momoi and I have been close since middle school, I know about her feelings towards me, but we talked one day and it's just best that we stay good friends. We were never actually a couple."
Good friends huh Kagami looks down to collect his thoughts.
Kagami: "Did you ever have feelings for her?"
Kuroko: "No, not romantic feelings."
Kagami: "Huh? Why not?"
Kuroko: "What do you mean?"
Kagami: "Like how can you not like someone who obviously has feelings for you?"
Kuroko: "Well um..."
Kagami: "Sorry...you don't hafta answer if that was too much."
Shit why am I asking these things, I'm going way too far. Kagami feels his chest tighten and his heart rate speeding up.
Kuroko: "To be honest, I've never really had feelings like that for girls.."
Kuroko's face got red from embarrassment.
Kagami: "Really? You've never liked anyone like that?"
Kuroko: "Um well not no one...just...not girls specifically..." Wow he's more clueless than I thought.
Kagami: "...I don't get you weirdo."
Kuroko: "Don't worry about it Kagadummy."
Both of them go silent.
Kagami: "...WAIT so does that mean you like guys???"
Kuroko was stunned for a moment becoming wildly embarrassed for just coming out to his best friend. He suddenly didn't know if he should confirm it or coward out and before he could think about it more, his mouth suddenly opened.
Kuroko: "Yeah"
At that moment he hears a click on the other end of the line. He hung up...he's so weird sometimes.
Maybe it's the time they've been apart, the exhaustion, or the overthinking, but lately it feels as though Kagami is drifting further away then anticipated. He just couldn't understand what he was thinking anymore. What an idiot. This left Kuroko's brain fried up just thinking about it.
He sank his face deeper into his pillow only to pop back up from lack of air. Just fifteen hours. He sighs and closes his eyes, drifting into sleep.
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Kagami mentally curses himself and throws his phone on his bed. He was not expecting that conversation to go where it went. He actually likes guys too?...does that mean we could actually be togeth-!!
His face goes redder than his hair as he sits at the edge of his bed to calm himself. Fuck! Why did I hang up, he probably thinks I'm not okay with what he told me- He suddenly fixed his attention to the time. Shit I'll text him later, gotta get to school.
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It's been two weeks since Kuroko and Kagami has called or texted eachother. Not that they were avoiding eachother, life just kept getting in the way of their communication so neither of them spoke to the other.
"Dammit what should I say!"
Alex came up to him after their weekly training session inspecting is obviously frustrated demeanor.
"You okay Taiga? You're yelling at your phone again."
"It's been weeks since I've talked to him but I've been too busy to shoot him a text and now I don't know if I should bring up what we talked about last time or just be casual??" Kagami gripped his phone a bit too hard.
"Calm down drama queen!" The older blonde woman smacked him on the side of his head.
"WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT FOR???"
"Stop being a pussy and just say hi it's not that hard boy, I swear you're becoming more of an American teen girl for every second you spend here!"
That was all she had to say to crush his ego. What's that hag talking about, I'm already half American... But he wouldn't dare say that out loud.
"Nevermind this is stupid." He turned off his phone and shoved it in his bag walking away.
Later that night Kagami once again laid in bed staring at his ceiling. It became a nightly occurrence for him not getting to bed at an appropriate time.
"Why am I like this..." He grumbled to himself closing his eyes for a brief moment.
It's not like anything has actually changed between him and Kuroko, they're still friends. But there seems to be a sinking feeling in his chest that hasn't gone away. He realized he has feelings for his best friend but it's not like he can tell him. They live in different parts of the world now so it would be selfish to even bring that up. They are both going in different directions with different goals, he already decided it simply won't work out.
Not to mention, Kagami doesn't even know if Kuroko could actually like him back, they're best friends and he absolutely doesn't want to ruin that. Hahh...yeah right. Kagami let out a frustrated sigh, cupping his hands over his face from his own embarrassment.
I'm thinking about this way too hard...damn when did I become so embarrassing. I shouldn't be thinking about this at all. Maybe it's best that we haven't talked in a while, I should keep my distance. I can't deal with these feelings. I need to focus on basketball. Although that thought was pointless, he knew distance wasn't the issue. Or rather, as much as it hurt, he knew he can't get Kuroko out of his mind even of he tried.
The next morning Kagami dragged himself out of bed, evidently not getting as much sleep as he liked, as per usual. He lazily walked to his bathroom to wash his face.
"I swear when will you learn to get enough sleep, you look like hell."
Kagami whipped his head up to the mirror to see a familiar face leaning against the door frame in the reflection.
"Alex what the heck, stop doing that!" He patted his face dry with a towel and turned around.
"Get dressed, I'm taking you somewhere." She said bluntly and turned around walking towards the kitchen/living room area.
"What are you talking about, where are we going." He took a step out of the bathroom confused.
"That doesn't matter right now, I'll make breakfast while you get ready, also wear something nice, don't wear you're smelly basketball shoes." She raised her voice from the kitchen.
You're not my mom, stop nagging me. Of course he didn't dare say that out loud, it was too early for a beating from Alex. Kagami decided not to question further as he walked back to his bedroom to undress. When he got to the kitchen he saw a good looking breakfast on his kitchen table along with a smile from the one who cooked it.
"Don't just stand there being surprised, don't forget who taught you how to cook." Alex gestered to the seat in front of her.
"So what's the occasion, why are you being nice today." Kagami raised a suspicious eyebrow while stuffing a piece of toast in his mouth.
"I already told you, that's a surprise, now shut up and keep eating."
Kagami grumbled at that as he stuffed more breakfast into his mouth. After he was done eating Alex shot up out of her seat and got her things ready to leave the apartment.
"Well com'on then slowass, go grab your stuff so we can go. We can't be late for this." She's being suspiciously enthusiastic today but Kagami just stopped questioning it and walked out the door and followed her to her car.
They had been driving for about ten minutes until Alex finally said something.
"So, have you talked to Kuroko lately?"
Kagami flinched at the sound of Kuroko's name.
"Um...no, I actually decided to keep some distance between us not not talk to him for a while." He squeezed one hand in another looking down.
"What?? Why?!" Alex for sure thought they would be in contact still, evidently that wasn't the case.
"Well ever since you and I talked about my feelings or whatever, I decided it's best to not talk to him anymore. I just wanna focus on basketball and not have all these distractions. It's just that the last time I texted him I had to apologize for hanging up on him after he came out to me so that's already awkward, it is what it is." He cleared his throat as he looked out the window.
"WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!?"
Kagami's head shot around to look at Alex who's fiery gaze was still on the road.
"JEEZ, I didn't know what a selfish brat you could be!"
Kagami was confused now, why is she getting so emotional about this?
"What're you talking about Alex??"
"Do you honestly think that the best option is to ignore your best friend?! How do you think he feels about that? Honestly, you're such an asshole Kagadummy!" She gripped the steering wheel furrowing her eyebrows.
He didn't think about that. How Kuroko feels, he only thought of his own feelings and never thought to talk to Kuroko about it. Kagami felt a familiar lump form in his throat and his chest tighten up.
"I...didn't think of that..." Kagami's voice suddenly got quiet.
"So what are you gonna do about it now." Alex loosened her grip on the wheel but still felt frusterated with the clueless teenager.
He teached in bag and took out his phone. "Maybe I should text him then-"
"No, don't do that now."
"So what? Should I call instead??" Kagami continued to stare at Alex who's gaze was still on the road but at the same time trying to avoid eye contact. It didn't take a genius to know she was hiding something.
"Alex what do you want me to do?? You know I'm not good at this stuff!" Kagami inspected her face as she turned a corner and parked the car outside of a street basketball court.
"That's up to you to decide Kagadummy, now get out and follow me." Her eyes darted to the side which was an obvious sign she was hiding something. He didn't exactly know what she was hiding, just that she wasn't telling him the whole truth about something.
Alex got out of the car first and started to walk around the chain linked fence.
"Hey, why did you tell me not to wear my basketball shoes if we were gonna play basketball anyways??" Let it be said Kagami is a very clueless person at times, so he has a habit of not paying attention to the things around him.
"You asked me what you should say to Kuroko right?" She stopped in her tracks.
"Oh uh, yeah why?" Kagami stopped behind her continuing to stare at her intently.
"Well, that's still up to you to decide..." As she said that, she slowly turned and stepped to the side. Kagami was too distracted by the conversation to notice someone standing about ten meters ahead of him. As he continued to stare at Alex, she turned her head in the direction ahead of Kagami to let him know someone was standing there.
At that moment, Kagami's heart completely dropped. His eyes widened as the spring breeze flowed through his hair, his body was completely frozen, he felt as though his feet were glued to the side walk, his mouth opened but didn't make a single noise, tears left his eyes and streamed down his cheeks. He couldn't believe who was standing in front of him with the warmest smile he's ever seen.
Two weeks ago
As Alex stood in the middle of the living room of her own apartment, she was awestruck of what she just heard over the phone.
"WHAT??? ARE YOU SERIOUS?!" She yelled in the phone most likely deafening the person on the other side of the line.
"Yes, I plan on visiting Kagami in America for a little while." Kuroko said smiling to himself with his heart beating a little faster than normal.
"That sounds amazing! But if I could ask, what prompted you to this idea?"
"Well, don't tell Kagami anything yet but, not only is he my closest friend, but ever since he left, I couldn't help but think about our time together more, and the truth is..." Kuroko lowered his voice and looked around to make sure no one was over hearing him, he was in the empty locker room at school of course.
"I have feelings for Kagami." He said as he blushed at the fact he actually told someone about his feelings besides Momoi.
Alex felt major deja vu after hearing him say that.
"Oooh I see." She smirked.
"So you want it to be a surprise?" Alex was now intrigued and completely immersed with his idea. Listening intently over the phone.
"Yes, so if it is no trouble, I have a plan..."
Now
What will he say, is he gonna call me an idiot for flying all the way over here...should I be the first to say something or just watch him stand there? Kuroko thought to himself as he gazed longingly at the redhead standing about five squares of sidewalk in front of him.
Kuroko couldn't read the tall boy's face, obviously he was surprised, but why isn't he saying anything? His heart sped up and he started to sweat as he continued to smile at Kagami who was still frozen in place. And then, someone broke the silence.
"WELL DON'T JUST STAND THERE KAGADUMMY! SAY HI OR SOMETHING!" Alex suddenly broke the silence to scold the redhead who was just standing there like a mannequin.
His mouth creased once more to a smile and refused to break eye contact with the blue eyed boy in front of him, the wind blew between the two of them and they smiled the warmest of smiles to eachother. After Kagami quickly wiped his tears, Kuroko finally spoke.
"Hi Kagami..." He choked out lifting his hand to wave and squinted his eyes as tears started to stream down his deep red cheeks.
The sun shined down on the two of them casting a bright golden glow on their faces.
In that moment they both knew, staring into one another, nothing else in that moment mattered. Somehow, they knew, they both felt the same feelings right then and there.
"Kuroko..hi..."