Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

“WHAT?!”

It was a quiet afternoon. The sun was shining, the birds were chirping and the dewdrops were dropping off the wet grass from this morning’s drizzle. Despite the almost perfect weather, the day was mostly unremarkable; kids went to school, parents went to work and pets stayed at home, waiting sadly for the hour when their masters return.

Then came the kicker. It was revealed, with very little fanfare at that, that Anne Boonchuy, a sweet tween with an attraction to fallen leaves, was dating her former bully, Maggie Something-Something. Her last name wasn’t something anyone cared about.

Sasha Waybright wasn’t amused. Marcy Wu was also not amused but a tad less. Or maybe more? It was kinda hard to tell considering how quiet the girl was.

“What do you mean you’re dating?” Sasha asked, completely befuddled by the revelation.

And to be fair, she wasn’t unjustified with her reaction. Anne and Maggie weren’t friends; heck, it was more accurate to say they were adversaries. Maggie was a known bully, always picking on either Anne or Marcy but mostly the former. Marcy was very good at keeping a distance, turning herself as inconspicuous as required. And Maggie’s reason for doing so was definitely less than noble.

So to hear them not only being friends but dating? That was too much even for the cheerleading captain.

Anne sharply hissed under her breath. She knew this was going to be her response. “Look, I can already tell you’re not exactly a fan of this—”

“HECK YEAH I’M NOT A FAN!” Sasha yelled. “Like, when did this even happen?! How?! Why?!”

“Hey, don’t yell at my girlfriend,” Maggie said, pulling Anne close with her arm around her waist. “Anne is a great gal and deserves proper respect. You’re her best friend; you should know better.”

Sasha stared at her. Those were a lot of words for a girl who got a flat D in English. “What in the world…”

Marcy, oh poor Marcy, stood in the background, her feet fidgeting against one another. After many minutes to collect herself, she finally stepped forward and grabbed Anne by her hand. “A-Anne, I just want to say… Whoever it is you date, I support you, even if it’s Maggie.” She said, lacing venom at the end.

Ah, so Marcy was against it too. Yeah, Anne didn’t see that one coming. That should’ve been obvious, considering Maggie and Marcy’s own polka-dotted history.

Still, she was trying to be supportive, unlike Sasha. Marcy’s a kind girl like that. “Thanks, Marcy. I’m glad you understand. You’re one of my BEST FRIENDS ever.” Anne said, placing her hand on the Taiwanese girl’s shoulder.

Marcy then began tearing up.

“ANNE!” Sasha yelled.

“W-w-what did I do?!” Anne panickedly asked.

Sasha began hugging Marcy, petting her like a small animal. “You know damn well what you did. Marcy had a crush on you for years and this was how you act? By dating her ex-bully?” Sasha hissed. She then turned to Maggie. “No offence. You’re not to be blamed. I’m sure you’re a good girlfriend, Margo.”

Maggie smiled. “Thanks, Sasha!”

Anne blinked. “Wait, wait, wait! Marcy had a crush on me?! When?!”

Sasha rolled her eyes. God, this girl was dense. “Since forever, doy. Haven’t you ever noticed the way Marcy fidgets around you whenever it's Valentine’s Day or a week before prom? Sheesh, this is why your love life sucks.” Sasha turned to Maggie once more. “Again, this isn’t about you. Your first should always be special and I feel like you deserve that much.”

Maggie’s cheeks turned red. “Aww, yeah! Sasha, you’re the best!”

“Hey, don’t flirt with my girlfriend!” Anne interjected. “We’re talking about Marcy and her apparent crush on me that I didn’t know of! How long have you known, Sasha? And what about you, Maggie? Did you know?!”

Maggie shrugged. “I didn’t know. I’m not that close with Marcy.”

“Yeah because you bully her.”

Maggie snapped her fingers. “Oh yeah... Yeah, that makes sense.” The red-haired tomboy then proceeded to walk towards the crying equally-aged child, patting her on the back. “There, there... Hey, Marcy? Sorry I bullied you and stole your crush. I didn’t know I was going to accidentally cuck you.”

Marcy, with tears in her eyes, stared at the former bully, the reality of the situation finally dawning on her. “... FUCK YOU!”

Maggie frowned. “Hey, that’s not nice. I apologized and stuff. That should’ve fixed things.”

“Why in the world would that fix things?” Sasha asked exasperatedly. This whole thing was getting worse by the second.

Maggie shrugged. “I don’t know. That’s how it works in movies.”

Sasha sighed. “You know what? You tried. I can't even get mad at you. And that’s a pretty big achievement, by the way.”

Cheerfully, Maggie fist-pumped the air above her. “Aww yeah! That’s the third time you complimented me today! If I didn’t know any better, I feel like you’re trying to steal me from Anne.”

Anne gasped. “Sasha! Friends don’t steal other friends' girlfriends!”

“I’M NOT GOING TO TAKE MAGGIE FROM YOU, BOONCHUY!”

“Don’t worry, babe. Sasha might be hot but you’re smouldering.” Maggie said with the corniest romantic smile she could do. For Sasha and Marcy, it looked so awkward, yet Anne seemed utterly enamoured by it.

"Oh, I love you too, Mags,” Anne said, placing a kiss on the redhead’s cheek. Maggie immediately flushed like a cartoon character; her braided twin tails flinging to the side with a cutesy helicopter spin. Sasha gagged at the sight, whereas Marcy’s tears swelled twice their original size.

Also, Anne called Maggie ‘Mags’. Apparently, they’ve reached the point for pet names. Nobody was sure when that happened.

Sasha was done. She wanted to go home and contemplate her life choices. Before she could announce her departure, Marcy finally decided to act and beat her to the punch. “Y-you know what? I can’t stand this any longer. Sasha and I are going to have a sleepover and you’re not invited!”

“We are?” “You are?”

Maggie instantly brightened. “Oo, ooo! Can I come? Pleeease! Please-please-please!”

Marcy scowled. “NO! That includes you, Margo!”

Maggie gasped, surprised for some reason. “But I thought we were friends!”

“WE’RE NOT FRIENDS! WE WERE NEVER FRIENDS!” Marcy angrily yelled. “AND I WOULDN’T BE FRIENDS WITH SOMEONE WHO DECIDED TO CUCK ME!”

Marcy forcefully grabbed Sasha’s hand and stomped off, pulling her blonde BFF with her. “Come on, Sasha! You and I are going to have a really good time without Anne and Maggie! We’re gonna watch War of the Warlocks, play Phantasia Galactica: Episode 2, and then make out all sexily until we fall asleep!”

“Whoa, I feel unsafe all of a sudden,” Sasha exclaimed.

Anne gawked at the back of her friends. “B-But I love sleepovers! Guys? Guys?!”

In the end, Anne was never invited to Marcy's impromptu sleepover session. She was so upset that she immediately fell into depression, except not really because it takes a lot to put someone in depression. Her parents did their best to cheer her up but to no avail; she only got better after a healthy and meaningful talk with Marcy and Sasha the next day.

As for Maggie, being a good girlfriend and no longer a bully, she decided to cheer her up by going to the mall’s department store and getting her a really cute shirt. She almost died on the journey, having been forced to pass through the perfume section.  It was nice how one of the department store employees called 911 for her. At least they weren’t all heartless monsters.

Anne liked the shirt too, by the way.

Meanwhile that same night, Marcy and Sasha had their sleepover and it was a blast. Marcy’s father bought them pizza and sodas – something Marcy never got when she was at home by herself – and they were allowed to watch movies and play video games all evening, even though it was a school night. They were even allowed to music on the speakers at max volume!

Marcy wasn’t sure why her father was being so attentive to her needs today but she appreciated it. Sasha knew though; the business card he slipped into the pizza box and written instructions to give to her dad were a big flag.

They never did make out that night. Marcy was so upset today that she ended up sleeping before the end of the movie. Sasha, on the other hand, was so nervous about the whole kissing thing that she never got any sleep, instead just waiting for the smooch she never got.

Some say she was still waiting till today…

Chapter Text

“God, my girlfriend is so pretty.”

St James Middle School, located in Los Angeles of California, was a private school. It wasn’t the best private school nor was it the worst but like any school, private or public, it was home to numerous students from the age of 13 to 15. For these students, it provided a variety of facilities and equipment, allowing for all sorts of inter- and extracurricular activities.

None of that mattered right now though. Why? Because the students were currently situated in the cafeteria, eating the provided lunches and conversing amongst the peers. No equipment or special facilities involved here, not unless you counted the benches and tables.

On one particular table was, what the kids called, the Calamity Trio’s table – named as such due to a trio of students constantly causing various school-limited calamities.

There was the leader: Sasha Waybright, known for causing all manner of mischief which the school forgave on account of her parents paying the teachers’ cheques. Then, there was Marcy Wu, the smartest girl in school who once caused a power outage across half the city because of a school’s science fair experiment. She never disclosed what it was and apparently, she spent a day in prison and the project was confiscated by the FBI. Finally, there was Anne Boonchuy who was, inversely, the most normal person in the group. She was the muscle and by muscle, she was the school’s semi-star athlete.

But like, in a normal, completely reasonable way.

Now, due to the popularity of these girls – both positive and negative – the Calamity Trio table was only ever occupied by the three girls and sometimes, close friends and cohorts. Both Sasha and Anne were well-liked, so they had a lot of friends. Marcy was Marcy and it’s best to leave that to one’s imagination.

On this particular day, one of the girls was sick so she didn’t attend school. Her parents had already told the teachers who subsequently, told the students. So the table was down one member, leaving it rather unbalanced. Due to the law of equivalence, this void needed to be filled and filled it was.

“Like, isn’t she pretty? She’s so pretty, right?” Maggie, last name also probably Maggie, sat across the table. She sighed, sad over her girlfriend’s absence.

Can you guess who her girlfriend was? It starts with ‘A’ and rhymes with ‘Canned Bok Choy’.

“She’s so pretty! I miss her already.”

Across the table, Sasha groaned. “Maggie, I swear to God, I’ll make you vomit, then force you to eat your vomit if you don’t shut up.”

“But she’s so pretty though!”

“I don’t care if she’s pretty!” Sasha yelled. “Like, I’m pretty and I don’t see you gushing about me.”

Maggie stared at the blonde, as if she just said the most obnoxious or insane thing. “I mean, you are pretty but you’re not my girlfriend, so...” She then shrugged.

Sasha groaned audibly, then turned to her remaining best friend. “Marcy, back me up here. I don’t know how much I can take this.”

Marcy gave her a blank stare. “You could always beat her up. Hell, I’ll help hold her. We’ll take turns.”

Sasha... didn’t know how to respond to that. “Cool, cool-cool. My best friend is home sick and my other best friend has an unjustifiable violent grudge on the other’s girlfriend who is, at the moment, in her seat. This is greeeeaaaat...”

“My ‘grudge’ is not unjustified.” Marcy huffed.

“Yeah, keep telling yourself that.” Sasha replied, rolling her eyes. “Alright Margo, considering that I can’t actually beat you up because of Anne, I gotta ask; how in the world did you two start dating?”

Maggie smiled and sighed happily. “Oh, it’s a rather funny story. It all started a long time ago...”

A few months ago...

“Hey, Boob-chuy! Nice hat!” Past-Maggie said mockingly.

Past-Anne, who was wearing a Mickey Mouse’s ears hat she got from Disneyland, smiled. “Thanks!”

“And that’s how we started dating.” Maggie, now back in the present, explained, finishing her tale of love.

“... What? That’s it?”

“Yeah!”

Sasha was speechless. No, less than speechless. She felt like she was owed words. “You’re telling me that you guys started dating because you praised her hat?”

Maggie nodded proudly. “Yeah!”

“... Oh my god, my best friend is an idiot.” Sasha mumbled, utterly defeated.

Next to her, Marcy was shocked, baffled even. Maggie, her archenemy and former-bully, was able to hook up with her long-time childhood crush just by complimenting her headwear?

Fuck, why didn’t she think of that?!

For the longest time, Marcy had ignored and even avoided Maggie due to her bullying antics. She wanted to fight back but after the FBI incident, she learned to exercise her power and knowledge carefully for the betterment of society. But by being so careful, she had forgone the possibility of Maggie having the unfathomable rizz required to grab Anne into her clutches.

Oh, poor, poor Anne. To fall for this terrible, terrible person was nothing short of a tragedy equivalent, maybe even greater, than that of Orpheus and Eurydice. If it weren’t for Maggie, Anne would’ve been dating her right now.

Marcy was furious. As furious as any nerd could be which was, to say, a lot. Everyone knows that one should never enable a nerd’s rage, especially when it came to romantic relationships – the home domain of nerd culture.

In her head, Marcy began formulating all sorts of anti-Maggie deterrents and contingencies. Thousands of calculations coursed through her wrinkled brain, neurons linking and lighting up like a Christmas tree in early November. Within seconds, she had already compiled a list of the most devastating, damaging and destructive plans conceivable by man.

She then proceeded to have an seizure.

“HOLY FUCK, MARCY!” Sasha shrieked, her best friend convulsing on the table. “Someone get the nurse!”

The next day, Anne returned to school, her fever gone and her temperature dropped. To her surprise, both of her best friends were absent from school: Marcy was admitted to the hospital due to a popped blood vessel and Sasha was taking a short leave due to ‘excessive stress and psychological trauma’.

She was sad about but at least Maggie was there to comfort her. Emotionally, that was. They haven’t even kissed in the lips yet.