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Kate was sitting awake in bed. Her back resting against the king-sized bed headboard. Her legs were stretched out in front of her, hands rested on her gigantic 40-week pregnant belly. She sighed. Lucy was asleep next to her. Flat on her stomach. Lucky. Lucy’s hair was splashed out over her bare back. God she’s so beautiful.
Kate started tracing her finger over the stomach, “Alright little one. Any day now.” Kate was ready for the baby to be out of her. Like yesterday. She tried everything over the last few days. They went on walks. Lucy would come along, holding her hand, talking about cases that Kate would be a part of, if she wasn’t already on early maternity leave. She would bounce on the Yoga ball. Lucy found this comical and would watch her like a tv show. They ate spicy food, Lucy’s least favorite activity. And Sex. Lots and lots of sex. Which was, of course, Lucy’s favorite activity.
Lucy was currently passed out from doing all the work, five times over. I’ll make it up to her eventually. Kate was still awake, satisfied, but severely uncomfortable. She continued to run her fingers over her stomach. “Your mama thinks you’re going to be a girl,” Kate shook her head at that. We still don’t have a girl name picked out. One more thing for her to stress about. The boy name was easy to come up with.
She smiled as she remembered the conversation. She told Lucy she was pregnant, that the procedure had worked. She’d never seen Lucy smile as big and as bright as she did in that moment. They made love and afterwards, in bed, Lucy had her hand splayed on Kate’s stomach. Lucy looked up at Kate, “Noah, we will name the baby Noah.” And Kate smiled and agreed. But they hadn’t talked much about it again. Then Lucy started with her ‘believing it was a girl’ as soon as they could tell people and she just assumed they’d get around to talking about names. They never did.
Kate looked at the clock 11:55 p.m. She let out a heavy sigh and pushed herself down on the bed, so her head would rest on the pillow Almost instinctively, Lucy rolled over to snuggle into her. Don’t stress Kate. Everything will be fine. If it’s a girl, we will figure out a name. She stared up at the ceiling, mesmerized by the fan, pushing her thoughts aside. Soon she faded off to sleep.
3 hours later
Kate awoke with a startle. She had the sudden urge to pee. This wasn’t unusual, the baby took up a lot of space in her abdomen. This left very little space for her bladder to hold extra liquids. Her back was aching, it always ached from carrying the added weight. This ache was different, more on the edge of pain, likely from the positions Lucy had her in earlier. Lucy was still at her side and Kate had to nudge her a bit before pulling the blanket back and heading to the bathroom. Lucy groaned and rolled to the side and Kate finagled her way to the bathroom.
Kate, barely dressed from the events earlier in the evening, struggled to get herself into a position where she could use the toilet. Her eyes were barely open as she lowered herself down and got herself into a position where she could relieve herself. Her eyes snapped open. That was not just pee. She pulled herself up as quickly as she could, turned and checked. Not just pee. Reached down, pulled her underwear up, flushed the toilet, washed her hands. She caught her eye in the mirror. Her cheeks slightly flushed. Then it hit. This was not a false contraction. She had felt those already. This was real. Breathe Kate. Breathe. Kate rode out the early contraction gripping the sink. Kate made her way back into the bedroom, waddling over to the bed, she reached down and clicked on the bedside light, “Babe,” she called out to Lucy.
A muffled moan. Kate rolled her eyes. She tried again with a little more bite in her voice, “Babe, wake up.”
Lucy waved her hand at Kate and slurred something about turning the light off and in the morning.
Normally Kate would think Lucy’s dreamy state was cute. This was not normally. “Lucy, get your ass up, the baby is coming!”
Lucy sat straight up, “Baby?” She had a panicked look in her eyes. Lucy jumped out of bed, “I need to get dressed and get the bag and the car and where is my watch?” Lucy started frantically fumbling around the bedroom. She whirled through a drawer and drew out underwear and sports bra, quickly throwing them on. She stepped into her jeans from last night and tug on a shirt over her curls. “Shit,” she muttered as she realized she put the shirt on backwards, pulling it back off and on the right way. “Watch, watch, watch? Where is that watch?” Lucy was spinning circles, ah yes, the watch that got removed quickly and thrown to the side last night, was peeking out from under the bed. She pulled it out from its hiding spot and affixed it to her wrist.
Kate stood watching the whirlwind that was Lucy. Lucy ran into the bathroom and Kate could hear the water being turned on a running. Lucy brushing and spitting, brushing and spitting. Kate watched as Lucy ran back through the bedroom, tying up her hair as she slid her feet into her sandals.
Lucy came around the bed and grabbed Kate’s hand, “Babe let’s go.”
Kate pulled herself free and motioned up and down with her hands, “Luce, I need to get dressed.”
“Shit, fuck. Okay let me get you something.” Lucy rummaged through a drawer and pulled out sweatpants and an old t-shirt. Lucy slowed herself down as she helped Kate into the sweats, helping Kate steady herself as she put one leg in followed by the other. She slipped the shirt over Kate’s head, stepping up on her tiptoes to steal a quick kiss, as Kate pulled it on the rest of the way. The shirt barley covering Kate’s stomach, “I can get you a different one.”
“This will be fine. It will eventually come off,” Kate answered. Another small contraction hit, and she gripped at her stomach, catching herself on the side table and clinging to Lucy’s shoulder. She gritted and eventually her grip on Lucy’s shoulder lessened, triggering Lucy to, once again, jump back into “Go” mode.
“I’ll go get the car started,” Lucy called as she moved towards the bedroom door and out of sight from Kate. Kate looked down, the to-go bag was still sitting next to the door. Kate had packed it and unpacked it a dozen times. She had read blogs, consulted books, and had an entire Pinterest board dedicated to that bag. There were extra clothes for her and baby, diapers, and toiletries. She had a spare phone charger and slippers. Swaddle sacks and her contact case. Most importantly the babies going home outfit. Lucy insisted it be a Dallas Cowboys onesie.
“I thought you said it was going to be a girl.” Kate lifted the outfit up to inspect it.
Lucy rolled her eyes, “Girls like football too, Kate.”
She asked Lucy to take the bag out to the car a few days ago. Lucy insisted she wouldn’t forget it. Here was Kate in an undersized t-shirt and a belly that went on for days wondering how to bend over and pick up the bag. As if on cue, Lucy flung herself back through the door and reached down grabbing the bag, “I didn’t forget,” she yelled as she picked up the bag and moved back through the door.
Kate followed behind Lucy, trying to keep up with her wife. She wished she would slow down and help her out, but she smiled at how focused Lucy was. Kate watched from the top of the stairs and observed Lucy at the door, bag flung over her shoulder, hair coming out of the messy pony, riffling through the key bowl. Lucy pulled the keys out and hooked them onto her thumb. She has the wrong keys. “Babe, car seats loaded in the other car,” Kate said as she made her way to the bottom of the steps.
Dammit. Lucy threw the keys back into the bowl and grabbed the other set. Holding them up and looking very proud of herself. She opened the door to the outside, stepped through, and slammed the door behind her. Right in Kate’s face. Lucy stopped dead in her tracks. Shit. She reached back and opened the door to a bewildered Kate. Lucy reached for her hand, “Sorry, babe.”
“Maybe let’s slow down. Just a hair.”
“Right, okay, sorry.” Lucy gripped Kate’s hand and led her over to the car.
She helped Kate get into the passenger seat and get the seat belt around herself and her belly. Lucy gave it a few quick tugs to make sure it was locked in. Kate may have told her to slow down but she had no intentions of driving slow to the hospital. In fact, over the last few days, Lucy had practiced the route. Zipping in and out of traffic, avoiding red lights, maneuvering her way around mail trucks, she was able to make a 15-minute drive in just under 10 minutes. Lucy got in and started the engine, the clock showed just after 3:00 a.m. With no traffic to avoid, Lucy knew she could do it in 8 minutes flat.
She backed out of the driveway and pointed the car in the right directions. She cut through their neighborhood, using the old “Slow-and Go” method at all the stop signs. Lucy pulled out onto the main road and headed towards Tripler. She pushed the gas pedal down as far as it would go and gripped the wheel. A light ahead of heard turned red. She spotted Kate’s hand instinctively move for the grab handle above her head, “Babe… babe… that’s a red light.” Lucy didn’t listen, she looked and saw no cars coming from the opposite direction. It’s 3 a.m. the damn light shouldn’t have turned.
Lucy sped through the light without giving it another thought. 10 seconds later flashing lights appeared in her rearview mirror. Lucy glanced up shit and then glanced over at Kate who was giving her the look double shit. Careful to not take her eyes off the road, Lucy reached for and handed Kate her phone, “Kate, call it in.”
“Call what in?”
“Me taking you to the hospital…”
“Lucy, I’m not calling this in.”
Lucy shrugged, “…and I’m not stopping.”
7 minutes and 45 seconds was all it took for Lucy to get Kate to Tripler. She put the car in park, grabbed her credentials out of the center consul, hoped out of the car and flashed her badge at the officer as she ran into the lobby and grabbed a wheelchair. In all of her haste she forgot how much she hated hospitals but right now wasn’t about her. She made her way back out to the car where Kate was explaining to the officer what was going on. The officer took one look at Kate and nodded at Lucy, making his way back to the car. Lucy sighed in relief and went back to wife duties, snatching the bag from where she stowed in the back. She helped Kate get settled into the chair before pushing her inside. She quickly handed her keys to the valet and shoved the ticket in her front pocket.
Lucy pushed Kate, who was in the throes of another contraction, onto the elevator, and pressed the button for the 6thfloor. Lucy glanced at her watch. Why is this taking forever. A loud *clunk* and the elevator stopped. The lights flickered. Kate looked up at Lucy who was in the midst of pressing and re-pressing the “6” on the panel.
Kate reached for Lucy, “Babe?”
“It’s not working,” slight panic escaped in Lucy’s tone. She tried to pull it back before Kate caught it. Too late.
The panic in Lucy’s voice was noticeable. Another contraction hit Kate, “You better get it working,” Kate screamed, “and now!”
Lucy pressed the call button. No answer. She pulled out her phone. No service. She frantically pressed the call button again. She checked her watch. What felt like an eternity had only been 3 minutes. Lucy started pressing buttons, anything to get the elevator to work. Of all the times Kate and I would get stuck in an elevator… Her thoughts were interrupted with the flashing of lights, another mysterious noise, and what felt like the elevator beginning to move again.
The elevator doors opened, and Lucy pushed Kate into the maternity ward. The nurse that greeted them had a kind face, but she started talking about getting Kate checked in. We do not have time for paperwork. And who would be in the delivery room with her. And we do not have time for this, either. Then she started eyeing Lucy and discussing next of kin. Wow. Lucy narrowed her eyes as the nurse continued to talk, “I can fill out the paperwork,” Lucy reached for the clipboard. The nurse hesitated. Lucy continued, “and I’ll be with her in the delivery room.” The nurses face went blank. Really ma’am I need to spell this out. “I’m her wife…” Lucy finally said.
The nurse nodded, “I’m so sorry. I didn’t… I didn’t realize,” the nurse stuttered as she looked back and forth between Kate and Lucy, “Let’s get you into a delivery room right away.” The nurse started moving down the hall and Lucy, pushing Kate, followed along. The nurse explained the process and how Kate would be in labor for several hours before her cervix would be the correct size and Lucy tried to track with everything she was saying and nodded along.
The nurse was right. The hours ticked by slowly. Late night reruns of the Golden Girls played on the TV. Lucy made multiple trips to get ice chips. She dozed off several times to be quickly woken by Kate’s cries of pain. Finally, the doctors were called in and Lucy assumed her position next to Kate, guiding her through her Lamaze breathing, holding her hand through the pain. Lucy was exhausted, but she knew it was nothing in comparison to Kate. Kate looked tired, sweat coating her hair, her face red. She so beautiful.
Lucy was pulled from her thoughts by the doctors voice, “We see the head. One more big push!” the Doctor called out.
Kate gripped Lucy’s hand and pushed with the last bit of strength she had left. And then crying. All of other the sounds faded away. All the beeps from the machine. The doctor’s voices. Her own breath. She could only focus on the cries of the baby. Her baby. Their baby. Just as fast as the sounds faded they came roaring back, “It’s a girl!” someone in a gown announced. Lucy had the biggest smile on her face.
The nurse lifted the baby and placed her on Kate’s chest. Kate’s breathing steadied and she stroked the babies back, soothing her. Lucy was enamored. She didn’t know she could love something, someone, as much as she did in this moment. A nurse made her way over and toweled the baby off and placed a blanket over top of the baby and Kate.
She became mesmerized. Watch the baby on Kate’. She slowly calmed and snuggled into Kate’s chest, her dirty blonde hair sticking up for her head. Lucy reached down, carefully, and touched her daughter’s head and then hand. Little fingers curling around Lucy’s. “Noah,” she whispered.
Kate took her eyes off the baby at hearing Lucy’s voice, “What did you say?”
Lucy cleared the frog from her throat, “Noah,” she said again.
“Noah,” Kate repeated.
Lucy leaned down and pushed back some of Kate’s hair, slicking it down, and gave her a kiss on her forehead, “You did amazing, babe. So amazing.”
3 days later
The sun was shining through the window. Kate felt like she had slept for an eternity. In fact, she hadn’t slept that good since before getting pregnant. Noah. Kate immediately shifted in bed and tried sitting up. She was still in a bit of pain. Where is the bed adjustment remote? Kate fumbled for a moment. She hesitated as she heard something she rarely heard. It was Lucy. She was singing.
Hush, little baby, don't say a word/Mama's gonna buy you a mockingbird/And if that mockingbird won't sing/Mama's gonna buy you a diamond ring…
Kate smiled at the sound and rolled over in bed. She was awestruck. There was Lucy, cradling their newborn daughter, singing to her. Kate didn’t think she could ever love Lucy more and then she saw her like this. Completely and utterly fascinated by Noah. Kate never had any doubt Lucy would be a great mom and this moment brought tears to her eyes.
Lucy looked up and caught Kate smiling at her. Lucy gave her a smile back, “You know staring is creepy.”
Kate laughed, “So I’ve been told.”
Lucy stood placing Noah in her bassinet and leaned down to kiss Kate, “You ready to break out of here today?”
“I’ve never been so ready for anything in my life… Can you help me sit up?”
Lucy found the remote pressing the button for the bed to adjust to the up position, “You know we should get one of these for at home.”
“I’ll be fine. Just a little sore still.”
Kate was able to eat breakfast and Lucy changed Noah into her Dallas Cowboys onesie, complete with a blue and white tutu. Kate was still unsure when that part of the outfit showed up at the hospital. After breakfast it was final instructions for discharge. The doctors were happy that Noah passed all her tests with flying colors over the past few days and there were no concerns about the new family of three heading home.
Lucy carefully got Kate into her wheelchair, prayed a prayer that the elevator wouldn’t stop, and pushed Kate, who was holding Noah, onto the lift. The ride to the main floor of the hospital was uneventful. Lucy fished out her valet ticket, which she miraculously didn’t lose, and handed it over, waiting for their SUV to make its arrival.
The three girls got loaded in the vehicle. Lucy checking that Noah was properly buckled in at least three times. Kate loaded into the back seat of the car, next to Noah, and strapped herself in. Lucy was at the helm of the car and she knew the 7 minute and 45 second drive to the hospital would not, could not, be repeated on the way home.
Lucy inched out of the parking lot. She checked both ways multiple times before slowly pulling out onto the road that would lead them towards home. She made sure to not let the needle go over 15 mph, “Babe, you probably could go a little faster, my mom will beat us to the house.”
Lucy quickly glanced in her rearview mirror, catching Kate’s eye, “Don’t be ridiculous. Your mom isn’t getting here for another 2 days.”
“And yet, at this pace, she will beat us.”
Can’t go fast. Can’t go slow. Can’t win. “I’m going as fast as I feel comfortable going. We will get there when we get there.”
23 minutes after leaving the hospital, Lucy pulled into the driveway and put the car in park. She paused for a moment looking at their house. The house they bought after they got married. The house they bought to raise a family in. That family was in Lucy’s backseat. She had never been so unsure of herself. Unsure of what the next hour or the next day or the next week held. Lucy made sure everything was perfect. The nursery was painted a nice neutral color. They were stocked with diapers. She read all the books. Mom instinct can take over any minute now.
“Luce, a little help. You have the child locks on. I can’t get out,” Kate called from the backseat.
Shit. Lucy hit the unlock button and made her way around to help Kate out of the car, “I’ll get her. You go inside. I’ll be right behind you.”
“You sure?”
“I got her, Kate. I got her." Lucy gave Kate’s hand a squeeze. Kate started making her way towards the front door and Lucy shut Kate’s car door and made her way around to the other side of the vehicle. She watched as Kate unlocked the door and made her way in, leaving the door open for Lucy to follow with Noah.
Lucy opened up the door and looked down at her daughter sleeping, “I got you peanut. I got you.” She undid the car seat from the base, picked it up, and carried her newborn across the threshold of their home.
3 weeks later
Kate placed Noah carefully down in her crib. She had been somewhat fussy all morning and neither her or Lucy could get her to settle down. Finally, after hours of passing her back and forth she calmed down and was sleeping peacefully.
Kate exited the nursery and found Lucy in the living room fluffing throw pillows, “Luce, they know to text and not knock or ring the doorbell, right?”
I reminded them all and I put that sign on the front door,” Lucy punched down into the top of the pillow giving it shape.
Kate’s eyes followed Lucy as she made her way over to the counter, readjusting fruit in the bowl, “Babe?” Kate questioned, “What are you doing?”
Lucy huffed out hot air onto an apple and shined it on her shirt, placing it gingerly back in the bowl, “Nothing.”
“You seem nervous.”
“Nope.” There was a hitch in her voice. She hoped Kate didn’t catch it.
Kate sauntered over to where Lucy stood in the kitchen and draped her arms over Lucy’s shoulders, “It will be fine.”
"You’ve met my parents. It will not be “fine” by any means. I know my mom is going to say something about her looking like my brother…”
“I mean we used his sperm,” Kate shrugged, “she does look like your side of the family a bit.”
“But she’s my baby. Not his.”
Kate laughed, “You’re jealous? Of your bachelor brother? Who is stuck running the family company in Texas? The one your mom basically blackmailed into giving us sperm.”
“It wasn’t blackmail. And I’m not jealous,” Lucy huffed out, “and don’t laugh. This isn’t funny.”
“Jealous Lucy is kind of cute,” Kate leaned down and gave Lucy a kiss. Lucy started to deepen the kiss placing her hands around Kate’s waist. She spun Kate pushing her back against the counter, sliding her hands under her shirt.
The doorbell rang. Are you kidding me? Lucy pulled away from Kate, “I’ll get the door.”
Crying started in the other room, Kate lifted her eyebrows, “And I’ll get Noah.”
Lucy opened the door to both her parents standing on the porch, “I thought I said to text.”
“We did text,” Mariam, Lucy’s mom said, “but you didn’t answer.”
Lucy was just a bit preoccupied feeling up her wife, not that she would tell her mom and dad that. She helped her parents through the door with their suitcases and started to point them in the direction of the guest room. They didn’t even make it two steps before Kate appears from the other room holding a fussy Noah. Mariam dropped her bags and stepped towards Kate, holding out her arms ready to take Noah from Kate.
Lucy stepped in, “Mom, maybe it’s best if you sat on the couch before holding her.”
Mariam looked at her daughter and swatted her and her suggestion to the side, “I have four children, I know how to hold a baby.” Mariam reached out and took Noah from Kate, cradling her in her arms. Noah was still fussy, and Mariam began to sing to her. A song Kate found familiar, the same one she had caught Lucy singing to Noah in the hospital.
Mariam looked down at Noah’s face, “She looks just like you Kate.”
What did her mom just say? Lucy gave Kate a look, wide eyed and surprise. Kate just smiled.
“Mom what, what did you just say?”
“Noah, she looks just like Kate. Don’t you think? Especially the hair color.”
Lucy hesitated for a moment, “I agree. I just thought she looked like me. At least a little.”
Mariam laughed, “Lucy don’t be ridiculous. Whoever told you that was lying. She looks like Kate.”
Lucy couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Her mom actually admitting the baby looked like Kate. Her mom not taking credit for the baby looking like the Tara side of the family. Lucy was sure her mom was going to burst onto the scene and talk about Noah being the next heir to the Tara Oil Throne. Mariam always wanted Lucy to marry into a wealthy family, expand the oil empire, she wasn’t too keen on her relationship with Kate, but Mariam was all about this baby. Especially because it carried actual Tara DNA.
Lucy was pulled from her thoughts by Mariam suggesting Lucy finishing helping her dad get the luggage into the guest room. Lucy gave Kate a look and quickly complied. Leaving Mariam to gush over Noah, under Kate’s watchful eye, Lucy grabbed her mom’s suitcase and showed her dad into the guest room.
“How was the flight, dad?”
Lucy’s dad, Joe Sr., was the parent who was least concerned about their family wealth. He worked hard at the family business, ensuring his kids would always have a place in the family company. He never allowed the wealth to change him. His wife was a different story and that showed on his face at times, “It was a good flight, a few bumps over the Pacific, nothing Charles couldn’t handle. Of course, your mother complained about it all, but I assured her there was nothing he could do about it.”
Lucy could see the weariness in her dad’s eyes, “Sounds like you could use a drink.”
Her dad’s face lit up at the thought of a drink, “What do you have?”
“A bottle of Pappy Van Winkle and some leftover cigars from the supply I handed out right after Noah was born.”
“Cubans?” She knew she loved her dad.
Lucy winked, “Don’t tell.”
He nodded, “I should probably stop and gape over my new granddaughter for a minute. I’ll never hear the end of it from your mom if I don’t.”
“You do that, and I’ll grab the supplies. Meet you out back.”
Lucy and her dad headed out of the guest room and back into the main part of the home. Joe Sr. took up residence on the couch next to Mariam, so he could have a good view of Noah. Lucy continued past them into the kitchen, riffling around in the liquor cupboard. Where is that bottle. She pushed a few more bottles around until she came up with the bourbon she was looking for. She caught Kate’s eye as she grabbed the glasses and the cigars.
Kate gave her a wink and a nod and Lucy headed towards the back of the house. She slid open the backdoor and moved out onto the patio, placing the supplies on the table in front of her. She thought of an excuse to rescue her dad from whatever her mom was talking about. Help with a bee’s nest. Wobbly chair. Everything she came up with sounded lame.
Lucy stepped back into the house and called out, “Hey dad, can I get your help with something out back here?”
“Lucy!,” Mariam called out, “Don’t be ridiculous. He’s about to hold Noah.” Well she tried to rescue him. “Oh, and Lucy, can you run out quick and get some new fruit? Yours is looking a little stale. We will need fresh for the morning.”
Kate laughed. Lucy rolled her eyes. But she grabbed her keys and headed out the door. Anything to get away from her mom for a few minutes.
3 months
“First day back. How you feeling?” Lucy asked as she poured Kate a cup of coffee.
Kate pushed the cup away, “Still no caffeine babe, not while I’m nursing.”
“It’s half-caf. The doctor said that would be fine.”
It smells so good. “I don’t want her up all day.”
“Paulette promised to keep her on the routine. Noah is going to be fine.”
“I’ll be a mess.” Kate started to tear up. The thought of leaving Noah was difficult enough but now the day was here. Lucy started back to work after 8 weeks but Kate took 12 weeks off after Noah’s birth. They did everything they could to ease the transition for both Kate and Noah. They vetted a number of nanny candidates and Paulette came out on top. She started helping Kate as soon as Lucy went back to work. She learned the routine, what things Kate liked and didn’t like, and Paulette could cook a mean casserole. That’s what won her Lucy’s vote.
Lucy walked around the counter to where Kate was sitting, “I know it will be hard. Paulette promised to check in with us hourly.” Faint cries began coming through the baby monitor, Lucy gave Kate a quick kiss, “I’ll go get our girl. Just drink some coffee.”
Kate studied the cup of coffee. The doctor had told her she could drink caffeine while nursing. She would need something to get her through the day. She reached down and took a swig. Fair Trade. It woke her insides and brought her to life. Days had been long and nights longer. Lucy was doing great, taking late night feedings, allowing Kate extra rest time.
Kate looked up from her mug to find Lucy cradling Noah. She was still in her pink pajamas but had settled back down and fallen asleep in Lucy’s arms, “I really am going to miss her today,” Kate stood up and walked over and give her wife and daughter a kiss.
Kate new it was going to be a long day without Noah. She thought about how this would be the new normal. Breakfast with their daughter, saying goodbye to before they left for work, knowing they were making a better world for their daughter day by day. It wouldn’t always be easy but it was going to be worth it.