Work Text:
June 2018
It's 5:12 in the morning.
Louis and Harry are wide awake, sitting beside each other in the kitchen. The house is quiet, only the hum of the kettle can be heard and the deep breaths they take. No one dared to speak, as if speaking is the least thing that they should do. They remain silent, just letting the time pass, letting the quietness rule.
Their hands are on the table. Harry is fidgeting on his fingers while Louis punches the table lightly. They look occupied, in really deep thoughts, but still know what's happening. Harry glance beside him to see Louis' face, contorts with sadness and pain. He bites his lip as he continues to fidget on his fingers. The kettle suddenly hums loudly, breaking their far away glances.
Louis stands up and prepares two cups. He is making cuppa in the early morning. Harry closes his eyes, fighting himself not to look at him or he will cry. He doesn't want that to be the last time he will see him doing it; no, he refused to think so.
"Milk, love?" he opens his eyes and looks at Louis. He smiles, a sad one, because he doesn't need to pretend that it's okay, that all of this is okay.
"Yes, please," he says and Louis nods. He watches him softly, now eager to see him work that way or he'll regret it for lifetime, God forbid.
He's done preparing the teas, so he walks beside Harry again, placing the two cups in front of them and sits. Harry gets the other one, waiting for another minute or two before he takes a sip. He doesn't want to burn his tongue, and he's not used taking a sip after preparing unlike Louis' who's very used to it and like his tea hot against his tongue.
He looks at Louis who sips on his pastel blue mug with a giant L in the middle. Harry looks down at his own mug, a pastel green with a giant H in the middle just like Louis'. He smiles sadly and he doesn't know why. Or maybe he knows but he refused to acknowledge that thought.
The kitchen is eerie quiet. They don't know how to crack a proper conversation given that the ambiance is tight and awkward. No more boiling kettle that serves as their background noise. It's really quiet that Harry's convinced that he's almost gone deaf.
Before he can start a good conversation, Louis speaks.
"I'll miss you," he says mindlessly. Harry's throat tightens and his hand grips the mug close to him. His hand is burning because of the hotness of the tea but he feels numb all of a sudden.
"I-I'll miss you, too," he says, voice whispering, throat tight. He bites his lip, willing himself not to cry, no, not yet. Or maybe, not ever.
"It's fucking hard, Harry. So, fucking hard," Louis' voice breaks at the end and that triggers Harry's tears to cascade down his cheeks. It's like in a snap of a rubber band, Harry's tears fall like a dam. He doesn't know what happened, how it happened, but he just knows that he's on Louis' lap.
Harry's face is on Louis' neck, Louis’ arms around Harry, hugging him tight like he doesn't want him to go. Harry doesn't want him to go, not now and not ever.
"Lou," he cries as he buries his face more on Louis' neck. He hears him and he's also crying and that double's Harry's pain and sobs loudly. Everything hurts but most of all, his heart.
Harry looks back at the things he's known when he settles down with him. He is hurting right now but he knows that this is what he's signed up for and that it's inevitable.
He wants to get mad, wants to say that he wants him here, but he can't. Even as a child, he knows the duties and responsibilities of a soldier. He once dreamed of becoming a soldier but then found out that it's not really what he likes.
They protect the country, will do everything for everyone to be safe. They are even ready to sacrifice themselves for others, even their lives. It is noble, Harry thinks.
Every time Louis' far away, Harry knows that the possibility of Louis coming back is half or less than half. It's like his one foot is buried on the grave, just waiting if the other one is ready so that they could go, and that alone makes Harry’s heart hurts.
Louis' been away many times before and Harry's always waiting for him and expecting him home. But right now, he can't let him go. This is a different case. Louis will be gone for six months and without a promise that he will come back.
This is different, though, because he's not the only one who will wait. Harry feels a pang of ache, already and mostly hurting for them.
"We need you here, Lou," he says and whines. Louis sobs, burying his face on Harry's hair, hugging him more. His hand flies to Harry's stomach where there is a bump, a 15-week bump, not popping anytime soon. Harry put his hand on top of Louis' as they circularly caress his bump.
"I can't promise anything, baby," Louis' voice cracks and Harry feels like someone is stepping on his heart repeatedly. It feels like he's been hit by a truck. He knows that there's a huge chance of him not coming back because six months is a long time, but he clings on the remaining chance, but Louis knows better, always. Harry knows that he doesn't want to hurt him, knows that he won't let Harry live a miserable life waiting for him, so he doesn't make any promises.
He vows to protect Harry at all costs, and not hurt him on purpose. And he's doing what he thinks is best right now. He doesn't want him to hurt more.
"I know," Harry whispers, like he's afraid to be heard. "But you can't blame me, Lou, you can't. Three of us will be waiting for you, no matter how long you take. I know you will be here; we know that you will come back," he says and that triggers to Louis to cry more.
Harry knows that he's being selfish, breaking this all to Louis right now but he can't fight it anymore. Selfish? So be it. He wants him to know that he will wait, that they will wait for him, no matter how long it will take.
"I really, really want to come back. Fuck, baby, I need to. I need to come back home to you lot. I need to come back to my family, my home," Louis cries, tightening his hold on Harry's. Harry then looks directly into his eyes. And once again, green meets blue.
Every time they stare into each other, it's like the first time. So deep and so raw. They always have a deep connection with each other. It's like they're staring past to their souls.
"You will come back, Lou. I know you will come back to us," he says and cracks a smile, it's not much but it's everything.
Louis leans down to him, connecting their lips in a sweet and long kiss. Every flick of their lips sends shivers down into Harry's nerves. It's like his body is in flames and he's burning at the feeling, but a good burn, nonetheless.
It's a long one, just lips minus the tongue. Very sensual and something that they know that they will forever treasure no matter what happens, be it Louis coming back home or not.
They press their foreheads together. Harry doesn't know what time it is, didn't even bother to glance at the clock because he wants to savor this remaining time they have.
Harry fingers Louis' dog tag chain that's hanging on his neck. Louis William Tomlinson, a Captain. He smiles bitterly. Six months will be like the other time Louis' away. Louis will come back to them. He will always, always come back to them. They will raise their children together. He knows that he will do everything to come home, no matter what it takes. He knows that Louis will be there when he gives birth. He knows.
"I will miss you, Captain," Harry says and smiles at the title. He hears Louis chuckles, the atmosphere a little bearable now.
"I will miss you more, baby," Louis says and it's Harry's turn to smile. His eyes look at the clock hanging on their wall, and it says 5:52 AM, only eight minutes left until Louis go.
"I love you. I love you so much, Louis. You are the greatest love of my life. You will forever be my husband, Lou. I love you all the time, be it my waking and sleeping hours. My heart only beats for you," Harry says as tears spring down his eyes once again. He loves Louis' eyes, loves the color and especially the familiarity and comfort it always gives. Even with tears streaming down from his eyes, his eyes are still beautiful.
"You don't know how much I love you, baby. You are my love, my life, my everything. You are everything in between with me, Harry. Most gorgeous person I've ever laid my eyes on. I promise you that you will be forever my person. You are always in my heart, baby. Always," Louis says and cups Harry's face and pulls him in, kissing his lips. It's full of sorrow, pain, longing, but it's still sweet. There are tears in between, the salty taste didn't bother them as they continue to kiss. For them, kiss is their silent verbal communication, always know what they want and what they need. They pull away after, lips red and bitten.
"Always," Harry says and Louis leans to peck once again on his lips.
"Always," Louis seconds.
At exactly 6:00 AM, Louis walks out of their house with a bag and a hope that he will come back. Alive.
--
July 2018
Dear Harry,
Greetings to you, darling. How are you? How are the little ones? How are you all? I hope you lot are alright. I always think about you. I can't wait until all of this is over. Just hit one month since I was deployed. My thoughts are always with you. I just want to say that you are so beautiful, baby. Even though I don't see you, I know that you look radiant especially now that you're carrying our children. I hope they don't give Mummy a hard time while Daddy's away. Can't wait to see you lot. I'm thinking about you all, my family, yours, and ours. I love you, darling angel. And send my love to our precious little darlings.
Always in my heart, baby.
Louis x
--
August 2018
Dear Harry,
My darling dearest, how are you? How are my little ones? Hope you are all doing good. No thoughts, just you lot inside my head. I am fine in here, don't worry about me. I wish I could hold you right now and whisper things that you love hearing. I want to eat greasy burgers when I go home, love. Want to piss you off and want to see you force me to take a sip of your kale smoothie. I miss you so much. I can't wait to get back home to you. I love you and our little ones. Send my love to our family, baby.
I love you.
Louis x
--
September 2018
Dear Harry,
Darling, how are we? You lot alright? I had a dream last night that our twins will be a boy and a girl. I can't wait to teach them footie. I can't wait to attend their tea party in the future. I can't wait to meet them, love. You think I'm going to be a good father? Mum raised me alone and I'm afraid that I'll disappoint them. I just really hope that I'll be a good one. I've had Mark when I was seven and he's the one I have growing up, who stood as my father. Thinking about you lots, especially my waking hours. I love you and I can't wait to see you all. Also, I just think that Darcy and William are good names. We've talked about it back then and I love those names. I know that you love it, too. Can't wait to see those munchkins, love, especially you.
I love you with every beat of my heart.
Yours,
Louis x
--
October 2018
Dear Harry,
How are we, darling? I miss you so much. Our Head just talked to us and said that we need to visit another country because some of our fellows are stuck there. They said that we shouldn't have any distractions so this letter could be the last you'll receive. I am so excited to go home. I just want to say that I'm always thinking about you all, always praying that you are all safe. I don't want you to worry about me. I don't want you stressing over me because it will affect the little ones. I want you to take care of yourself as well to our darlings, Harry. I miss you so much.
Not going to lie, I'm so afraid, love, so afraid. I don't know what will happen, but I know that I will do everything on my own to get back home. It's fucking scary but I will fight until I can.
Until the end, I will.
I love you forever. For always.
Goodbye for now, love.
I love you all so much more than my life.
Forever yours,
Louis x
--
November 2018
Harry opens his eyes as the sun raise welcomes his eyes. It seems like he forgot to close the blinds before he went to bed. He was dead tired to his bones because he, Lottie, and Gemma did some shopping for the twins.
Remembering Louis' previous letter, he is right. Harry smiles as he remembers the clothes they shopped yesterday. They are indeed a boy and a girl, William and Darcy.
The nursery is now ready, thanks to Zayn, Liam, and Niall's help. Zayn didn't help that much because he's also pregnant, he and Liam are expecting. The nursery is a neutral color, green and yellow with different characters, especially butterflies and bugs.
Lottie and Gemma accompany him for shopping. The cribs are already set but Harry choose to buy another and set it inside his and Louis' room because he's planning to let them sleep there until they are three or four months old.
He stands up slowly because carrying twins is not easy. Harry feels like whale every time because there are two babies inside him, kicking his bladder every damn time and making him eat more. But he didn't complain to that part because he knows that the babies need nutrients and Harry's willing to give them that.
He slowly walks down the stairs, gripping the railings hard because he's afraid to fall. He walks to the kitchen, sets water to the kettle and prepare the toast. It's already nine in the morning, sun is already up in the sky. He prepares his breakfast, avocado on toast, apple, and a tea.
He's enjoying his food when the doorbell rings. He smiles because today maybe Louis sent him another letter. He misses him so bad, always thinking about him.
It's been a month since he received a letter from him. That's the only way where Louis can communicate with him. He can't write back because there is no address attached, just his name and a stamp on the side.
That's the closest thing that makes Harry happy because he knows that Louis is well. They miss him so much. The last letter he received though, Louis said that he maybe can't send another because they shouldn't have any distractions. But now, he's hoping that Louis writes him something.
He walks down the hallway, bump very obvious on his maternity clothes. He opens the door and a man, well, Luke is in front of him, all uniforms. He frowns, not anticipating it.
"Luke?" He is Louis' friend from the army. He's met Luke several times and he's been a good friend to Harry also, as well as to the other boys.
He rarely talks but he always smiles. But now, looking at him, Luke's face is stoic and cold. He's not sporting a warm smile or grin and that, makes Harry nervous.
"Malak, Luke, Sir," he says stands straight. He looks really off, his sight looking pass at Harry's.
"Luke, what's happening? Why are you here? Did Louis send you here?" He doesn't know what to ask first. But first of, what is really happening?
"I come here to deliver some news for you, Mr. Tomlinson," Luke says and Harry's hair at the back stands up. By the sound of it, he knows that it's not good. His throat suddenly tightens, and he can't breathe properly all of a sudden.
"What is happening? Where is Louis? Is he okay? Tell me!" He says, cannot take the anticipation no more.
Luke gets something from his pocket. Harry's eyes follow it and Luke hands him Louis' dog tag and a white envelope.
No....
This can't be happening....
"No..." he whispers, knuckles white because of his grip on Louis' dog tag. His heart is beating so fast, like he just ran a marathon.
This can't be happening, no. His eyes are blurry because of the tears. He cries, still looking at the envelope and dog tag.
"No, Luke. This is not real. You're fucking with me, no. Louis isn't... No, no, he's not," he says, trying to convince himself. No, he is fine. He is well. He said that he's well. Louis said that he shouldn't worry because he is fine. What is this? This is not real. He refused to believe it.
"I'm so sorry, Mr. Tomlinson," Luke says, his face hard, like he's suppressing something inside him.
"No! Louis is not dead, Luke! He is not! He said he is fine! No, you are lying, Luke. Take it back, take it back!" He's sure that he's being hysterical now, but he doesn't believe it. No way that his Louis is now gone.
He just sent Harry a letter last month! He said that he won't write because he can't afford distractions, and Harry accepts it because he knows that Louis needs to focus.
He said he is fine. He said that he will come back home to them. He said that he can't wait to see them.
Harry breaks down on his knees, with the dog tag and letter close to his heart.
His Louis. His beautiful, selfless, and brave Louis is now gone. Harry cries and cries, sobbing as he remembers the letters Louis sent him.
He said that he'll come back. He said that he will be there for them. He didn't even see William and Darcy. The cruel world took him. It took Louis away from them.
"Where is he?" Harry asks as he compose himself. He wants to see him. He needs to see him. He needs to see his husband.
"We're still not sure where his body is. We retrieved the bodies of the British soldiers and all of them are... burned. The others saw how the place was bombarded and unfortunately, Captain Louis was there together with his Sergeants," Luke says and every time he talks, Harry's heart feel like it's being stab by knife. It's like a death by a thousand cuts.
His body is probably burned.
It's like something inside him twitch, and maybe that's his heart.
The others saw him, how the place was bombarded. And he was there.
He was there.
He sacrificed himself.
Harry feels lifeless.
His heart is barely beating.
Slowly, the fire that burns inside him suddenly lose its flame.
It's now all gone just like that.
--
It wasn't easy to break the news to their family. All of them mourned, especially him. He and Louis' mum- Jay, are the people who took it hard.
They are the people who are so special to Louis. They weren't the same anymore but they know that life must go on. Louis will be proud of them, every single one of them, and every single day. Harry hugs Jay tight, not separating himself to her. They need each other's strength because they are the ones who needed more strength because of what happened.
They look at the urn in front of them. It's a color blue, just like Louis' eyes. They still haven't found the body yet but the army is running a DNA test to every single person that they have recovered and deliver it to them once they find Louis’.
But for Harry, as long as they still didn't find his body, he's still alive for him.
Their family slowly lessens as time goes by. His Mum chooses to stay with him because he shouldn't be left alone especially now that he's heavily pregnant, mourning, and widow.
He hugs Jay one more time before she bid her goodbye together with her daughters, and Ernest, Louis' only brother.
His Mum is already on the guest room, and Harry doesn't have any choice but to follow suit and locks himself inside their room.
He walks down to their bed, slipping himself on the mattress. He can't sleep, can't bring himself to do that. He closes his eyes as image of Louis runs in his mind.
Blue eyes, brown fringe, high cheekbones, and infectious smile. He's sure is a gorgeous person that Harry's ever met.
But an image of helpless Louis standing on the ground as the enemies bombarded it triggers Harry's tears to fall.
He misses him. He misses him so much. How is this all possible? How is this happening to him? They were good people. He just wants to be with him until the end.
Harry cries until every fluid in his body stops functioning. Until his eyes are burned out because of excessive crying. He can't even bring himself to do anything.
His gaze laid on the envelope that's sitting on the table. He moves forward, picking it. He didn't read it when Luke gave this to him, and he thinks that it's time for him to read this.
His hands are shaking as he opens the envelope. He finds a folded paper inside it and slowly unfolds it. Harry sobs as he looks at Louis' familiar handwriting. It is messy but it's everything. He composes himself because he knows for sure that it will only shatter him.
Dear Harry,
If you happen to read this letter, I am so sorry. I want you to know that I fought so hard before you receive this. I'm sorry I disappoint you. I'm sorry that I didn't keep my promise. I'm sorry that you have to read this and sorry because I know that you are crying. I'm sorry that I won't be able to go home anymore. I miss you a lot. Our children, I miss them too. I'm still not sure what we will be having but William and Darcy still sound perfect for me. I love you with every fiber of my being. Just remember that I will take care of you all. I will always guide you no matter what. I will still be there every step of the way even though I'm not there physically. I am so proud of you, Harry. I know that you will do everything to raise them well even without me. Tell our little darlings in the future that Dad loves them so much and always think about them. Tell them that I'm always proud of them, whatever things they'll achieve, what they want to become when they go to university. Tell them that I am proud of what they will be come in the future. You lot are what I'm thinking about every single time. Can you do me a favor, baby? I want you to tell them about me. Make them not forget me, please? Even just a while? I don't want to be selfish, love. If the time comes when you want to start a family with someone, you have my blessings. I just want you to be happy even without me. I'm sorry that I didn't keep my promise to be with you forever. But I want you to know that you are my greatest love. You will always be the one for me. You will forever be my husband, here in this world, and to the other universe. Maybe in our next life, we'll find each other in a more favorable circumstance, yeah? Maybe I'll be a businessman or teacher, you think? Don't want to be far away with you ever again. Remember, I love you forever and I miss you so bad.
Goodbye William, Darcy, and to you my darling Harry.
Forever and always,
Dad/Louis x
--
December 2018
"Deep breaths, darling, come on," Jay instructs as Harry lays on the bed. He woke up with an uneasy feeling lying on his belly and a searing pain.
He didn't let another time pass and calls Jay. It really does makes sense because he already reached his last week of his last trimester. Jay is with Lottie, leaving the others at Doncaster.
"Jay, it hurts so much," he cries and caress his belly. Anne and Lottie are on his side, waiting to obey anything Harry wants.
"I know, darling. Come on, let me check how far or near you are," Jay says and Harry opens his legs voluntarily. "Seems like six centimeters. You're near, Harry," she says, and Harry can't seem to wrap his head around that fact.
He glances at the clock, and it says 10:49 PM, and it's December 23. A tears streams down his face. Tomorrow will be Louis' birthday and it'll be the first where Harry will celebrate it without him.
On the other note, Harry knows that the twins will be born on December 24 just like their father and that put a bittersweet smile on Harry's lips. If only he's here, he knows that Louis will be the best and will be the happiest one because their first born shares the same birthday with him.
"Louis will be the happiest only if he's here. He will be over the moon if he found out that the twins share the same birthday with him," Harry says and the three women gives him a sad but warm smile.
"We know, darling. He'll probably shit on his pants," Jay kids and all of them share a laugh despite Harry feeling pain on his belly and his heart.
"I miss him so much. I imagine him holding my hand while I push," he mindlessly whispers.
"Honey," he hears his mother says.
"I'm sorry, I just miss him," he says and closes his eyes as another wave of pain hits him. He cries and grips his belly using his two hands.
Time passed; Gemma drove to be here even though it's super late. She and Lottie helps him while Jay and his Mum are exchanging birth talks. His phone rings and of course it will. He sets an alarm to Louis' birthday every single year.
He whispers a faint "Happy birthday, Lou," and he hear the others seconds him.
I love you so much, Louis.
"Jay, I think I'm ready," he says.
And at 1: 56 AM, Harry cradles his two little bundle of joy.
"Happy birthday to you too, William and Darcy," he says and leans down to give them a peck on their foreheads.
It's not so bad after all.
--
March 2019
It's been three months since Harry undergo to a therapy. He suffers from PPD, and it's been hard for him taking care of the children and mourning to his late husband. Good thing his family and friends helps him to every step of the way.
He drives back to Niall's apartment and knocks on the door. It opens and Niall invites him inside.
"Where are my babies, Ni?" He asks as he walks to the living room and finds Zayn and Liam together with the twins. Zayn is sporting a bump, and he looks gorgeous holding Darcy. Liam is holding William and his babies' giggles when they make a face.
"Hey," he greets and the two greets him too. He sits at the couch beside Zayn and looks at Darcy. Her green eyes are just like him. Cherub chubby cheeks and dimples, she is a little heartbreaker. His gaze laid on his son, who is a carbon copy of his husband. A brunette lad, blue eyes, and thin lips. A mini-Louis indeed.
"How did it go?" Zayn asks and Harry looks at him and smiles.
"It was well. I think I'm okay now, no more bad thoughts or something. I think I can handle it much better now unlike then," he says. It was hard for him and he thanks heavens always for having a great family and friends.
"Really? That's great, Harry!" Zayn says and side hugs him.
"I think I can handle not going to my therapist for a while. I am sure I can do well from now on. Not perfect but well," he says and his friends looks so proud of him. He knows. He's proud of him, too.
And he knows that Louis is proud of him, too.
--
October 2019
He is tired, dead tired. He took a break from teaching for a year because of the twins. They are so handful, but he loves them very much.
"C'mon Darce, don't put that inside your mouth!" He says and pulls the comb out of Darcy's mouth and that results for the child to cry.
Harry looks down at William who's busy watching on their television, not minding his sister's cry and Harry sighs in relief. He knows that he will probably lose his shit if they both cry at the same time. He will probably call Niall if things get a lot of handfuls, though.
William is sitting on his walker, eyes still fixed on the television. Darcy is a crying mess on his arms. And how his Mum decided to get a vacation now, he doesn't know.
"Okay, little one, I'm sorry. What do you want, hm? You want a tit?" He asks as he cradles Darcy. He's still looking at William from afar and the little man makes no move.
Darcy's voice almost cringes Harry because of the intensity. How can a little girl, so pretty, makes such a loud noise? He walks to the kitchen where he knows he left Darcy's tit. He sees the pink silicon and wash it on the tap water. Darcy put it inside her mouth and finally, peace. Harry pours a water inside the glass and drinks it. He feels refresh and put the glass on the sink. Darcy is drawing an unknown pattern on his chest as they walk to the living room once again. He sees William's wide eyes and Harry hurries to him.
"Hey, hey, lad," he says, and his blue eyes meets his green ones. And then William cries and whines. Harry put Darcy on the double carrier he's bought so that she and William shares. She looks content there sucking a pacifier and plays with the toy that he gave her.
He carries William on his arms and just like what he did to Darcy, he cradles him in his arms.
"Ssh, come on, little lad. Don't cry, honey," he says and hums. He knows that William loves when he hums, and there, William smiles at him.
"You really do look like your father. I wish he can see you right now," he says and walks to the carrier where Darcy is. William put his own tit back and moves near Darcy when Harry puts him inside. He sits on the couch with his children in front of them.
"You both are Mummy and Daddy's loved ones. You are our miracle, darlings. I love you both so much and I know that your Daddy loves you too more than anything," he says and smiles. "Your Daddy sent the last letter also last October. He said that he's so proud of you both, and that he loves you very much," his voice breaks but he continues. "He wants you to know him even only in the stories. He was such a brave man," he says, remembering everything about Louis. "A very funny guy, selfless, kind, and any positive traits, he's sure got it," he says. "He loves footie so much. I hope one of you or maybe both of you will like a footie. Also, he loves tea so much. He once said to me that he wants to be invited to your tea party," his voice cracks with a tear now streaming down his face.
"But Daddy's not here anymore. I know that he will still visit you. He may not be physically here with us, but he will always stay in our hearts, right, darlings?" He says and giggles when the two looks at him, as if their Mummy is saying something alien to them. "Come on, bedtime for us," he says and stands up. He was about to get the carrier off the table when the front door of his house opens and closes after seconds.
Shivers run down Harry's spine. What is happening? He's sure that he locked it earlier. Is he being robbed? His children are here, too. Panic rises on Harry's system now. What is he going to do? He looks around and can't find his phone. He needs to call his friends or maybe seek some help to authorities, but he can't find his phone anywhere. He grips the carrier hard as he hears a sound of footsteps nearing them.
He cries because he doesn't know what to do anymore. The footsteps sound is near to him and Harry looks at his children who maybe senses Harry's panic and discomfort and cries too. All of them are now crying, not knowing what to do, but Harry's sure that he wins to the crying department because of his loud cry and sobs.
Harry waits for the person who go inside their house without permission. It's near, Harry can hear them. He was about to scream when a familiar built of a man shows in front of him.
Kinda short, lean, blue eyes, high cheekbones. The hair is long, the tips landing on his shoulders and he radiates comfort instead of a negative aura.
Louis.
No.
How did this happen? Is Harry hallucinating? In his life, he only tried smoking MJ once when he was in college and never tried again. He's a grown-up man now, a father, and has a family so how come he's hallucinating right now?
Deep blue eyes looking at him with intensity, like it's the first time they look at each other that way.
Tears on their eyes, unspoken words left hanging.
Louis.
Louis is here.
"No, no. You are dead. I swear, don't pull this prank on me, Niall, this is not funny. If you think dressing up as Louis is funny then-"
"Harry," he's not imagining it. All of his body hair stands up with the intensity of the voice. The one's that he didn't hear for a long time. The voice that only person could have. Only Harry's person. His Louis.
"Lou?" He breathes, carefully, because this has to be a joke. This has to be or he will faint right now.
"Harry, baby, I'm here. It's me," he says and steps forward. Harry stands there, his mouth gaping and tears rolling down his eyes.
"B-but y-y‐you're, Lou, y-you-"
"I survived. Fuck, baby, I survived," he cries and Harry feels like something tripped him and he suddenly falls on his knees, all fours.
He is breathing hard, not expecting of this to be true. All of this, no. He hears footsteps coming near him and the man, kneels in front of him.
Harry surveys his face. There a thin line of scar on his forehead, but it's already fading. His cheekbones are still prominent, high and mighty. His facial hair is present, and his eyes, Harry's favorite part of him, is looking at him like the first time Louis' looked at him.
He is here.
Louis is here.
"Lou," he whispers. He's afraid that if he talks loud someone will get Louis, or might hear him and takes him again.
"Baby," Louis says and leans his forehead to Harry's. He can feel him. He can feel his breath on his face. He is real.
He is here.
"Lou," he says and brings Louis down and crush him inside his arms. They are loud, sobbing to each other's arms. He miss this. He miss him so much. He miss everything.
"Lou!" He says once again and cries on Louis' chest. "I waited so long for you, I waited!" He says and punch Louis' chest. He feels Louis' arms tighten around him and kisses his hair repeatedly.
"I told you I'll be back," Louis sobs and pulls Harry tight, doesn't wany him to let go.
"You did," Harry whispers and he can feel Louis nodding along.
"I don't break promises of myself," he says and kisses Harry's mouth. It's urgent and full of need, like a hungry man, Louis laps Harry's mouth and ravish him. They kiss as they cry, proving to each other that they miss it. A faint of whispers of "Lou and baby" and "ĺove and darling" can be heard in between the kisses.
They pull apart after a minute and Louis kisses Harry's eyes.
"I love you so much," Louis says and leans down to peck on Harry's mouth.
"I love you so much too, Louis. Don't leave us like that ever again," he says and drops his head in Louis' chest.
"Never again," Louis says and Harry pulls off from the hug. He stands up and walks to the table where the carrier is. Louis' eyes flies from Harry's to the carrier where he knows their children are. Harry puts it down and sits beside Louis.
Louis' eyes waters as he sees their children, red faced because of crying while sucking a tit. It's a boy and a girl, a Darcy and William.
Louis starts to cry as Harry starts to unbuckle Darcy first. Harry slowly places Darry on Louis' waiting arms and Louis breaks down in front of them.
"Oh, god, she is so beautiful, Harry. Looks a lot like you," he says and leans down to kiss her forehead. The little girl looks at him and she pulls the tit out and smiles at him.
"Oh, little dove," he says and hugs the little girl. "Our Darcy," he says. He looks beside him and sees that Harry is carrying a little lad. Louis slowly put Darcy back inside the carrier and Harry puts William on his arms.
He is a spitting image of him; blue eyes, cheekbones, brown fringe, and thin lips. "He looks like me, love. Sorry but you gotta handle it to me," he says and Harry chuckles.
"Mum and Dad's little lad. William," Louis says and leans down to kiss his forehead and cradles him. He is so happy. He looks at Harry who's now holding their little girl as Louis holds their little boy.
"They are so perfect, baby. You too are so perfect," he says and captures Harry's lips once again.
"I still can't believe you're here with us," Harry says and his lips wobbles. "I still feel like dreaming. I don't want to wake up, Lou. I want you here with us. I don't want you leaving us again," he says and Louis coos him.
"I am here, I promise you. I am real, baby. You won't lose me again. I will be here from now on, Harry. I love you lots," he says and Harry smiles.
"I love you, too. I love you forever," he says and leans his head on Louis' shoulder.
And that night, since the twins were born, they sleep together as a whole family.