Chapter Text
When Catalina had first mentioned the idea of going away on holiday to Jane, she hadn’t really meant it. Well, she’d meant it for maybe about half an hour during a moment of weakness where she actually admitted to herself the loved the other five queens, but the sentiment died very quickly after.
The second she and Jane had opened that laptop together and started looking at Holiday destinations, she knew she was done for, and that she had lost all total and utter control over the situation. That knowledge didn’t soften the blow, however, when Jane pulled her aside one evening and announced she had found the perfect place and they had to book right there right now or they were going to miss out, impatiently shoving the promotional video in her face.
Catalina’s face slowly fell as she watched various children running around an arcade and at a pool, screaming gleefully as people in various brightly coloured animal costumes danced and sang on a stage. Quite frankly the only solace she saw was the bar in the background… and the caravans. They looked alright, she supposed. But it didn’t really matter what she did and didn’t suppose, because Jane was already on the booking screen. That didn’t mean she wasn’t going to barter to make sure she got an adequate holiday.
“I want one of the luxury caravans. With a sea view. And one of the decking balcony things.”
Jane looked up, furrowing her eyebrows.
“Those are more expensive though.”
Lina forced herself to shrug her shoulders, determined not to allow herself to fall victim to Jane any more that evening.
“That doesn’t matter. We’re going anyway either way so I’m getting an actual nice holiday out of it…if I can.” She mumbled the last part, but Jane had already started smiling the second she said that they were going.
“Oh perfect! Yep, we can definitely do that - Ah, I’m so excited! Okay, okay, 22nd of August, Luxury caravan, three bedrooms…” Jane tapped away at the iPad, “Decking, six entertainment passes…”
Catalina screwed her face up in pain as Jane continued to list off all the things they had to pay for, but she still wasn’t going to back down. It was a holiday, right? A once in a year thing. And surely it couldn’t cost that much for only five nights.
“Okay! All booked!” Jane looked up with a smile, “£1890!”
“WHAT!?”
*
Jane managed to calm Catalina down enough in the four months leading up to the holiday that by the time the day came around she was only mildly entirely pissed off. Catalina felt that the fact she only complained about extortion and capitalism to the third queen twice between her waking her up and then waking up the others to tell them the news was a massive achievement in itself.
They had decided to keep the entire holiday as a surprise, not wanting to have to deal with the other women being over excited again until next Christmas at least after having to deal with them through the whole of December. Catalina had been delegated to wake Kat and Cathy, Jane fearing that she couldn’t be trusted to wake the other two after the events of their day out to the country park. Lina just prayed to god that Jane didn’t come across an empty bed and she herself didn’t have to walk in on her goddaughter and… the other thing, in bed together, which she was certain was how they woke up most days. Thankfully it appeared the two did possess the self control to sleep apart for at least this one night, and she managed to shake both her goddaughter then Kat awake and send them down the stairs in a pleasant fashion with minimal mental scarring.
So far so good.
She followed them down and directed them to sit on the sofa, an order they didn’t question in their groggy states, then stood in the middle of the room waiting for Jane to bring the others down. It took about three minutes and several “What the fuck Jane it’s half seven”’s before the third queen herded the other two into the room, both looking fairly more disgruntled than Cathy and Kat who were already asleep again. Jane joined Catalina in standing facing them all as Anne furrowed her brow at them suspiciously before joining the other three on the sofa.
“So me and Catalina have woken you all early today because we have some exciting news!”
Cathy and Kat woke with a start at Jane’s loud and excited voice.
“Oh my god are you pregnant?” Anna’s jaw dropped. The other three widened their eyes.
“What? Why would I- or her- and we’re not toge- no, we’re not- no. Just let Jane speak.” It was way too early and Catalina was far too grumpy to try and deal with and justify any of Anna’s nonsense. She motioned for Jane to continue.
“So Lina came to me a few months ago-“ Catalina started to violently motion for Jane to stop but it was too late. Four sets of eyes turned to look at her.
“Oh no what have you done,” Kat groaned, “Is this another country park day or something-“
“Nope, but she did come to me with the idea that evening!”
Catalina scowled at Jane but it looked like she had no intention of saving her from the embarrassment of her moment of weakness being revealed.
“We’ve been planning it for a few months now, since that day-“
“You’ve been planning it. I pretty much lost control of the project the second I mentioned it.”
“Mentioned what?” Anne yawned, “If it was Lina’s idea it’s either we’re going on a pub crawl or to some religious Sunday school or something and I’d rather you told us now so I can get some more sleep in first-“
“We’re going on holiday!” Jane burst out suddenly, obviously unable to hold in her excitement any longer. All four queens blinked at her.
“What?”
“Don’t you all get too excited.” Catalina muttered sarcastically.
“We’ve booked for us to go away for five nights. On holiday?” Jane’s hands dropped to her sides and she frowned. “Am I talking in French or something-“
“We’re going on holiday?!” Kat’s eyes were suddenly wide as she jumped up in excitement. Jane immediately grinned back.
“Yes!”
Kat gasped and looked down at Anne and Anna who looked equally as excited, then turned to Catalina, her eyes shining.
“Oh my god, Lina! What made you decide to do this?”
Catalina shrugged awkwardly. “I don’t know… you all seemed like you enjoyed our day out to the country park and it felt weird to be away from Jane so…I just thought of it.”
“You’re such a softie.” Anna grinned.
“I am not .”
“You so are.” Anne grinned, arm slung over Kat’s shoulder.
“This is going to be actual hell.” The first queen sighed.
“No, this is going to be fun!” Jane insisted.
“What kind of holiday is it Jane? Are we going far? On a plane?” Kat tilted her head questioningly.
“We don’t have passports, we can’t be.” Anna replied, looking equally deep in thought.
“Wait, but my article - five days?” Cathy had been quiet, which wasn’t unexpected of the writer, but she suddenly sprung to life, eyes wide and full of worry. After the events of the awards ceremony she had been hired to write another article for someone she had met whilst networking, and she had been working on it for the past month with the deadline quickly approaching. “I can’t afford to take five days off, I’ve only got two weeks left and I’m only two thirds of the way through and I need next week for revisions-“
“You could use a holiday to be honest babe, you’ve been working so hard lately - and you’re still going to have plenty of time after to write, it will all work out fine.” Anne calmly reassured her, looking stuck between consoling Cathy and wanting to jump up and down with Kat and Anna who were continuing to bounce ideas off of each other.
“It’s okay Cathy, I factored your work in when I booked, there’s Wi-Fi throughout the entire resort and you’ll have a bedroom you can work in to get away from everyone.” Jane said firmly, “Well, you’ll have to share it with someone because it’s two per room-“
“Anne.” Cathy responded immediately.
“Yeah no shit.” Anna snorted, her power of somehow listening in on others conversations at the exact moment she could make a sarcastic remark coming into play.
Catalina frowned. “Really Mija, Anne? That’s really the last person I would pick for some peace and quiet-“
“We need to pack!” Kat suddenly exclaimed, then quickly looked at Jane questioningly. “We need to pack now ?”
Jane smiled. “You do need to pack now. We’re leaving at 9.”
Kat and Anna immediately ran upstairs and Anne took Cathy’s hands and pulled her up from the sofa and led her out of the room, suggesting ways that a holiday could inspire her rather than restrict her work ethic and creativity.
Jane let out a breath and turned to Catalina.
“Well this is going well!”
“Seriously?”
“What?” Jane smirked. “It is.”
Catalina shook her head. “That was literally the tip of the iceberg. The 1% of the hell that’s going to come.”
“I don’t know why you’re so adamant it’s going to be awful, if you go into it with that mindset then you’ll never enjoy it.”
Footsteps suddenly thundered downstairs and Kat raced into the room.
“Where are we actually going?”
“Caravan park, about four hours drive away. Pack for normal English weather and some swimming and beachy stuff.” Jane reeled off matter of factly. Kat nodded her head slowly as she muttered the list back to herself then ran off again.
Catalina turned back to Jane.
“I’m adamant it’s going to be awful because we’re going with them Jane. The whole point of a holiday is supposed to be that it’s relaxing.”
Jane rolled her eyes good temperedly. “You are so grumpy. You suggested it in the first place, and you know full well you would be miserable on a holiday without all of them, no matter if you were in the most relaxing place in the world.”
Catalina stared at her.
“That’s the most complete and utter bullshit that I’ve ever heard.”
Jane simply rolled her eyes again. “Okay, we’ll see when we’re there shall we? Come on, help me start loading the car.”
The two of them had packed their suitcases in advance, obviously aware of the trip, and took the time while the others packed to go around finding household items from the list Jane had made to bring with them.
“Uhh, Jane?” Catalina squinted down at the list. “I don’t think we need to bring a clock with us.”
Jane looked up from trying to fit the sandwich grill into the suitcase.
“But what if the caravan doesn’t have one? We need to know the time.”
“We can just look at our phones Jane, I wouldn’t worry about it.”
Jane gazed at her for a moment then sighed. “Okay, fine.”
“I don’t think we need that either.”
“But what if I want a grilled cheese toastie on holiday?”
It took about an hour to get everything packed, an hour of the two of them bickering back and forth like an old married couple until Anna finally came down and interrupted Jane as she tried to make a case for why they might need to bring the lounge lamp with them.
“I’m all packed,” Anna held her suitcase up in the air slightly, a rucksack on her back.
“Kat’s finished too, she’s just packing Anne’s stuff with her. Well, for her. Anne’s busy trying to convince Cathy to only bring her laptop and not all her novel notebooks with her so she can unwind a bit during the holiday.” She raised her eyebrow at the pair, “I’d say she’s probably having about the same success rate as you are with Jane.”
Jane huffed and Lina smirked slightly and led Anna out to the car, unlocking it so they could start loading their stuff into the boot around the two seats already in there.
“Start loading stuff onto the floor in the back.” Catalina instructed as they began to run out of room.
“It’s gonna be a fun journey.” Anna grimaced at the cramped nature of the car but did as she asked. The fourth queen then ran upstairs to grab Lina’s own suitcase as Jane brought out hers and the household one, and came back with the news that the others had finished and were on their way down too. Sure enough, by five to nine the car was loaded with everyone’s cases as Jane reeled off a mental checklist to them all to make sure they hadn’t forgotten anything. Catalina wasn’t surprised in the slightest when Anne suddenly ran back into the house around five times in a row.
She went into the kitchen and made sure to turn off the appliances, yelling for someone to turn the water off. She then went to the fridge and got out the breakfast picnic hamper she had insisted to Jane they made the night before, terrified by even the thought of the others deciding they were hungry in the car and having to spend even more money in a McDonalds drive through.
Finally, or unfortunately, depending on how pessimistically Catalina wanted to look at it, Nine o’clock came around and she locked the front door and walked out to the car, hamper in hand. By the looks of things Anna had decided to start punctually with making the holiday hell from the second it started as she was already standing bothering an increasingly annoyed looking Cathy.
“Leave her alone Anna.” She called, passing Jane the hamper as she got into the passenger seat. Cathy was quick to follow her to the car, and Anna was even quicker to immediately try to sit next to her.
“Nope, no. Cathy, sit at the back in one of the boot seats, Anna stay in the back, Kat sit with Anna, Anne…” She couldn’t believe what she was about to say. “Sit in the boot seats with Cathy.”
Anne immediately grinned and ran to follow Cathy. Catalina grabbed her arm.
“I swear to god if you do anything in the back of my car-“
“Ew!” Anne’s face screwed up in disgust. “No! Why would you even think we’d do that when Kat’s going to be right in front of us?”
“Oh, don’t worry about the rest of us then!” Anna called, now belted into the car, her knees drawn close to her chest as they rested on one of the suitcases.
“Don’t worry; I won’t!” Anne responded. Catalina rolled her eyes but let go of her arm, closing the boot behind her as she climbed in.
“So what kind of place is it we’re going Jane? What stuff is there to do?” Kat was asking as Catalina climbed into the driver's seat and started the car.
“Well, it’s a caravan park, as I said before. It’s got a beach and entertainment complex in the middle with stuff like an arcade, pool, restaurants, and a live entertainment room with a bar. I think you can sign up to do sports activities and classes too.”
Kat nodded her head, looking satisfied, eyes still shining as they began to drive. “Cool.”
“So we’re staying in a caravan?” Anna asked, a smirk in her tone, “How on earth did you talk Lina into that one? There’s no way that was what she suggested.”
“No, no it was not.” Lina mumbled, keeping her eyes on the road.
“Well it’s a nice caravan,” Jane insisted, “We’ve got a premium one with a sea view. And there’s three rooms - I’ve seen online that a lot of the time someone has to sleep on the sofa.”
“But what does it look like?” Cathy sounded confused, “I’m picturing like the drivable ones, but what you’re describing sounds more like a lodge or something.”
“Well I can give you the name of the resort if you want and you can look it up. You could watch the trailers and look at some photos and stuff as well so you get what I’m on about.”
Catalina let out a breath of relief as they all quickly shut up and got out their phones. That would hopefully buy her around twenty minutes of peace before they started up again. During their four hour journey.
She sighed.
She’d called it already and she was going to stand by her prediction.
This getaway was a bad idea.