Chapter Text
Kate Sharma and Anthony Bridgerton have been best friends since grade school and have been inseparable since Kate introduced herself as the new student in his class. They were so attached that they even decided to go to the same university together, though their studies were different. Kate went for education while Anthony studied business law. Throughout their years together in university, they hadn’t had one class together until their last year in uni. That’s where everything started to change, their last Autumn term of university was life changing for both Kate and Anthony.
Anthony hadn’t seen Kate in weeks since she was away with her mom and sister visiting family in India. So, he associated the flip his stomach did, when she walked into the room to excitement that he was seeing her again. The loud pounding in his ears was just adrenaline, he’s never gone this long without seeing her. All these sensations he was feeling was just because he missed her, it wasn’t possibly anything more he thought. But week after week whenever he was around her, all those feelings flooded back. She’d strut into the room with her bag strapped across her chest and a huge beaming smile only reserved for him and his heart felt like it was going to explode. Ten years into their friendship Anthony has started developing feelings for his best friend and he wasn’t sure what to do, he could act on it, but he was afraid she didn’t feel the same and he couldn’t possibly lose their friendship. He rather just pine for her until hopefully his feelings subside.
“Ant.” Kate squealed enthusiastically as she rushed towards her seat beside him. “They’ve accepted my application to study abroad.”
“Kate.” He swallowed. “That’s wonderful.” He was happy for her but greedily he couldn’t deny that the thought of not being able to see her again for months churned his stomach but maybe it’s what he needed some distance. “When do you leave?” He questioned awkwardly.
“Right before term four, but I’ll be back for graduation.” She grinned taking out at pamphlet of where she planned to study. “I’m going to Columbia University.” She informed him animatedly. “It’s one of those posh Ivy league universities probably full of wankers, but it’s known to be one of the best unis to study education.”
“Kate.” Anthony sighed taking a hold of her hand. “You’re going to be brilliant.”
“Thanks Ant.” She blushed squeezing his hand.
Weeks continued to pass, and his feelings were just growing stronger he couldn’t deny he dreaded the idea of not being able to see Kate. He couldn’t imagine going almost three months without her, and the idea of distance probably would do more harm than good to him. So, they planned a week during spring holiday, he’d go and visit her and do some sightseeing. But a week after all their arrangements his plans were demolished when he received a life altering call right before their lecture started from one of his father’s workmates. Notifying him that his father had been in an accident and had passed away. The man he once thought to be invincible was gone.
Kate found an unmoving Anthony standing in front of their lecture hall as almost as he was in trance, with lifeless eyes. “Ant.” Kate whispered when she noticed how pale he became. “Is everything alright?”
“He’s gone.” He murmured.
Kate just silently shook her head in confusion.
“My dad, he’s dead.” He shouted breathlessly.
“Oh Anthony.” Kate sighed pulling him into his embrace failing at holding back her own tears. If anyone can relate to Anthony’s current situation it was Kate, she lost her father her last year of secondary because of cancer. It wasn’t sudden, she knew they didn’t have long but it didn’t make it hurt any less. But she didn’t let herself wallow in grief she had to be there for her mother and sister, they needed and her she couldn’t disappoint them. “I’m so sorry.” She told him squeezing him tighter as his cries became louder.
Kate missed the rest of her lectures that day, so she can help him pack and drive him home to his family. It was a silent two-hour drive, there wasn’t much to say when it comes to losing a parent. All she could do was be there to support him. Once they got to Anthony’s home, she wasn’t sure whether to go in and offer her condolences or give them their space. But she waited in the car with Anthony, until his sobs quieted down.
“I’m sorry.” He muttered when they finally made it out of her car and to his front stoop.
“There’s nothing to be sorry for.” She reassured wiping the tears from his face before she pulled him into her embrace. “Tell your family I love them.” She mentioned clutching him. “And if you guys need anything at all, please let me know.”
He just nodded sorrowfully.
“I love you.” She whispered kissing his cheek. “I’m so sorry this happened.”
He didn’t say anything and just squeezed her tighter. “I love you too.” He croaked after a while before he undesirably headed inside.
The whole funeral Kate was his support system, keeping him up when it felt like collapsing. Whenever he had to be there for his family, Kate was right there to support him while he supported everyone else. As he did for her when her father passed away. As the eldest she knew the loads of responsibility he currently has, and what he’s going to gain now that his father’s gone. Once the funeral was over, they said their goodbyes, Kate assuring each Bridgerton she was a call or text away if needed. The first couple days after losing his dad, all Anthony wanted was to be around Kate. For the first week she gave him space to grieve with his family, but he begged to see her soon after. So, Kate took two weeks off to be with him. She took lectures online either from her home or at Anthony’s. She made sure he’d eat, and get some sun and exercise, and when experienced trouble sleeping, they’d sleep together in the most literal sense. She felt guilty when she had to leave to go back to university, but she always checked up and promised to visit as soon as she could. But after Kate went back to university, Anthony decided to withdraw from the spring term to be with his family and there hasn’t been much contact between them, but it was mostly from Anthony’s side. When she finally heard from him, he told her that he was taking his classes online and most likely won’t be returning for their last term. It was selfish of her to be sad that she hasn’t been able to see him often, before she had to leave to study abroad but he was her best friend and the estrangement that’s happened between them was agonizing.
22/02/2014
Kate: Hey haven’t heard from you in a bit, hope everything okay.
23/02/2014
Anthony: All good.
Once Kate left to go back to university, Anthony realized that she had become his crutch. After his father’s death he didn’t think he could survive those weeks without her. But he couldn’t depend on her forever; she had her own responsibilities and was leaving in a couple of weeks for New York. It wouldn’t be right to keep her hostage and knowing Kate, he knew that she’d drop everything for him without a second thought. He honestly didn’t know how he’d be able to get through anything without her in his life, so he forced himself to learn.
12/03/2014
Kate: I’ll be home this weekend, is it okay if I stop by?
15/03/2014 3:30
Kate: Hey, just got home. Is it alright if I stop by in a little bit?”
4:05
Anthony: It probably isn’t the best time right now.
4:08
Kate: Okay.
Anthony never let his family see him cry, the only time he’d let it all go was either when he was with Kate or completely alone where he’d know no one can ever find him. He was the eldest he had to be there for his siblings, for his mother. His mum who was catatonic, and feelingless, she’d lock herself up in her room and he wouldn’t see her for days, so his siblings had become his responsibility. He made sure Benedict, Colin, Daphne, and Eloise were prepped and ready for school every single day. Benedict was on his third year of university studying art; Colin was on his first year, because he decided to travel abroad after finishing secondary. Daphne was on year thirteen while Eloise was on year eleven. And they all always offered to help Anthony out when it came to the family and their father’s business affairs, but he refused forcing them to focus on their schooling. His elder siblings were self-sufficient, but his youngest siblings were the ones who needed him the most. Francesca who was on year eight, and Gregory and Hyacinth who were still in primary school relied on him in every sense of the word, when they weren’t in school, they were with Anthony. When they had restless nights, Anthony stayed by their side until sleep finally took over. He wanted to assure them that he’d always be there for them no matter what, he didn’t want the trauma that came with losing their father to wreck them, so he kept them busy, whether it be music lessons, dance lessons, language lessons or sport practices. He wanted to keep their minds off the loss of their father and practically their mother.
“Brother.” Hyacinth murmured sliding through his bedroom door. “I’m ready for dance class.”
“Alright, has Greg gotten ready?” He questioned making his way towards her. “He has rugby practice.” He told her kissing her on the forehead.
“I heard him throw his cleats across the room.” She informed him sneakily. “So, I doubt he’s ready.”
“Why don’t you go put your shoes on while I talk to Gregory.” Anthony suggested to Hyacinth.
“But-”
“I want to talk to him alone.” He told her sternly.
“Fine.” She huffed.
“Hey Greg.” Anthony called as he made his way towards Gregory’s bedroom only to find him slouched over in his bed crying. “Hey mate, everything alright?” Anthony asked sitting at the foot of Gregory’s bed.
“I hate rugby, I’m horrible at it.” He announced in frustration. “They all make fun of me; I don’t want to go.” He shouted.
“You just started; you’re not going to be impeccable at it.” Anthony expressed. “You can’t expect to be Antoine Dupont by your third practice.” He teased nudging him on the forehead. “Why don’t you and I practice together, and if you still hate it in a couple of weeks, we can find something else.”
“Sure.” He muttered. “But only a few more.”
“It’s a promise.” Anthony said pulling his brother in for a hug. “Now come on, we don’t want to make Hy late for class.”
“Hurry up.” Hyacinth demanded. “I’m going to be late.”
Gregory just looked up at him and smirked before he burst out into laughter.
“Let’s go troublemaker.” Anthony chuckled wrapping his arm around his shoulder. “Let’s go you boor.” Taking Hyacinth by the hand. “Maybe, once we pick up Fran from piano, we can go grab some ice cream but only if you two behave.” He warned.
“We solemnly swear.” They echoed looking up to Anthony.
“Yeah, that you are up to no good.” Anthony retorted. “Did you guys think you can get me with that one?” He argued. “I’m not ancient you know.”
Hyacinth and Gregory just chuckled as they made their way to his car. As exhausting as it is to be there for all his siblings Anthony enjoyed the little moments, the simple moments where they can just joke around and for a second forget that just mere months ago all their lives fell apart. They made sure to always have a day during the week where they all spent time together, and some nights they tried their best to include their mother, but it was hardest on her, so unless she volunteered, they wouldn’t ask. Being a father figure to his younger siblings petrified him, he knew he doesn’t compare to his father, he idolized him they all did. He was the best father, he was warm, and funny but strict when he had to be. Anthony wasn’t sure if he was doing any of it right, but he knew he had to try regardless of his intrusive thoughts. He wanted to be a role model for them and started with completing university. It was a miracle to even him, that he found himself with enough credits to graduate by the end of the summer term. And though at first, he wasn’t interested in going to graduation he wanted to see her even if it’s just in passing he needed to see her. He knew if he truly wanted to, he could easily reach out to her, but he knew the second he’d see her, he’d let himself falter, tell her everything. How hard everything has been, on how he’d didn’t know to be the head of a household, or run a business, and how he couldn’t sleep at night knowing he, his mother, and his siblings no longer would be the family they once were when their father was alive. He refused to put any of his burden on her, because he knew Kate would do anything and everything for him and his family, it wasn’t her burden to bear it was his.
XXXX
When they finally saw each other at the ceremony, it felt different. Kate noticed there wasn’t the same excitement there was before, he smiled but the sparkle was gone. He looked like he hasn’t slept since she last saw him, and Kate wasn’t sure what to say. She always reached out to him, but all she got was one worded answers. So, she eventually stopped, she thought when he wanted to talk, he’ll reach out, but he never did.
“Kate, hey.” He greeted pulling her in for a hug. “How are you?”
“I’m good.” She nodded. “Ecstatic that we’re finally out hellscape.” She joked hoping it’d make him laugh.
He just nodded. “Yeah, me too. How was New York?”
“It was great, I’ve decided to continue my education at Columbia in the fall.” She informed him. “So, I guess New York will become home for a while.”
“How have you been?” She asked awkwardly wringing her hands through her robe.
“Um.” He paused. “I’m good.” He lied. “I’ve just been helping my mum, with a few father’s business affairs.”
“I’m glad you’re okay.” She nodded knowing he was hiding the truth, there was a pause of awkward silence before Kate spoke again. “Well, I should probably get on the queue.” She mentioned disappointedly, she thought she’d get more from their interaction. They never kept anything from each other, but they also never gone this long without talking either. They’ve grown apart due to unexpected events, and it hurt like hell at least for Kate it did. “It was nice seeing you Ant, if you ever need anything you have my number.” She secured giving him one last hug.
“Yeah.” He whispered squeezing her. “Enjoy New York.”
His goodbye gave her goosebumps. It felt like it was a permanent, like they’d never see each other again. After a decade of friendship, after everything they’ve been through together it appeared to be over, and she didn’t know what she could do to stop it because it seemed like he already made his choice. She knew losing a parent was hard, but she didn’t understand why he was pushing her away. She didn’t want to force him to let her in, but she was afraid that if she didn’t, she’d lose him forever. That night she paced around in her room typing and erasing multiple messages to send to him, eventually she just gave up and cried herself to sleep.
“Katie?” Mary called from the other side of the door gently knocking. “Kate.” She echoed peaking her head in only to find her sleeping. “Baby girl, you’re going to be late for your flight.” She murmured soothingly running her fingers through her hair. “Though I wouldn’t mind if you stayed.”
She stirred only to find Mary’s worried eyes staring back at her. “Morning mama.” She hummed giving her a small smile.
“Have you been crying Katie?” She asked brushing her hair away from her face. “Your eyes are puffy.” She observed. “Baby girl is everything alright, should we postpone your flight?”
“No.” She quickly answered sitting up on the bed. “I’m just a little overwhelmed.” She answered honestly. “I’m just really going to miss everyone; I’m moving to the states I won’t have my family there or any of my close friends. It’s no longer a school trip, it’s my new home.” She sighed. She didn’t want to mention Anthony because she didn’t want Mary to get involved in whatever was happening between them. But it was the truth, she was scared to officially move to a new place alone. “I’ll be okay.”
“Is everything alright in here?” Edwina asked joining them in the room. “You’re not getting cold feet are you, sister?”
“No.” She replied softly. “I’m just really going to miss my family is all.”
“Well, I’ll be done with uni in two years, maybe we can join you?” She offered excitedly. “I’ve always wanted a change of scenery.”
“You’re not serious?” Kate scoffed astounded. She’d love to have her family with her, but she didn’t want them to up and leave their home for her.
“We’re a family. Wherever you girls are, is home to me.” Mary announced taking ahold of both their hands.
“So, it’s official we’re moving to New York, in two years so get ready.” Edwina swore eyeing her sister. “Don’t fall in love with an American and trash our plans, we’ll be there in two years.” She reprimanded teasingly. “Don’t get married between now and then.”
“Highly unlikely.” She pledged. “Though sometimes they can be very forward.”
“Forward?” She questioned. “I heard New Yorkers are unfriendly.” Edwina criticized.
“They can be, yes.” Kate responded with a shrug. “Most of the time it’s only if you’re in their way. But I also got to meet a lot of nice people too.”
“Well, guess I’m going have an interesting dating life.” Edwina mentioned with a smirk.
“Edwina.” Mary scolded. “Kate hasn’t even left and you’re already planning your love life.”
“Of course, I am mother.” Edwina publicized batting her eyes. “Maybe I can become someone’s sugar baby.” She teased.
“You’re unhinged.” Kate chuckled wrapping her little sister in her arms. “But am I really happy you both will eventually be joining me.”
“How did Anthony take the news?” Mary wondered knowing how attached at the hip he and Kate are.
“Uh-um.” She stuttered. “He’s happy for me.” She quickly said.
“I would easily bet a thousand pounds he’d follow you to New York if circumstances were different.” Edwina mentioned absentmindedly.
Kate just stayed silent.
“He hasn’t been around at all since his father passed, is everything alright between you two?” Edwina questioned.
“Yeah.” Kate whispered. “He’s just been busy, helping his mum out with everything is all.”
“Well, I bet when everything settles, he’ll visit.” Edwina said hopeful. It’s been six months since Anthony’s father Edmund passed away, and though everyone grieves on their own time she knew Anthony and Kate couldn’t bear to be apart for long periods of time.
“Maybe.” She muttered. “So, are you both are coming to take me to the airport?” She asked slithering off her bed.
“You’re lucky, that we’re both not boarding that plane with you.” Mary jested pulling her daughters in for a hug. “We’re going to miss you so much.”
“I love you, please come visit as soon as you can.” Kate cried squeezing them.
After a long tearful goodbye, Kate was finally in her seat ready for take-off. She was leaving her home for an entirely new place permanently, and that hit her the second the cabin doors closed, making her break down. When she left India as a child to move to the UK, the idea of a new foreign place terrified her, but she had her family with her. This time she was all alone and though Kate enjoyed her solitude most days the idea of them not being only a few hours away petrified her. She spent most of the flight silently weeping as excited as she is to advance her education, family was important to her, and she was already counting down the days until she able to see them again.
Once she got to her new flat, she immediately facetimed her mother and Edwina. “I’ve made it home.” She murmured. “That’s going to take some getting use to. I already miss you both terribly.”
“As do we.” Mary announced. “But you’ll be home for holiday in just a couple of months.”
“I know it close to midnight over there, I’ll let you two get to bed. Just wanted to let you know I made it here safe.” Kate told them giving them a small smile. “I’ll see you soon.”
“We’ll see you soon Katie.” Edwina declared happily. “We love you.”
“Love you too.” She murmured before throwing herself on the couch.
She hadn’t purchased much furniture for her flat only a couple of lights, a couch, a bed that rested on metal frames, a desk and a small coffee table. She was grateful that her landlord allowed the movers to move her stuff in while she wasn’t home, she didn’t think she’d be able to stir up the energy to do it on her own any time soon. Her apartment was small but cozy enough to fit a couple people at a time. As anxious as she felt this morning finally reaching her destination brought her some pleasure, she had her own home a decent job and she was about to start the process to get her masters. She knew it wasn’t going to be easy, but difficulty wasn’t going to stop her from achieving her goal of becoming a college professor. Kate started her new job in a week but budgeted herself well enough to make it through the first couple of months in New York, so she decided that she would treat herself to some take away that night and do the grocery shopping in the morning. She searched through her phone for the best places nearby and settled on just getting food from a local diner. After picking up her food, she plopped herself on the couch opened her laptop and decided to watch one of her favorite comfort shows, which also happened to be Anthony’s as she watched she couldn’t help but to think about him, all she wanted to do was call him ask how he was really doing let him vent about his life. She wished to tell him about New York and be the best friends they once were, but he no longer wanted that, and she had to respect it.
XXXX
It took Kate a couple of months to get into the flow of living alone in a different country but by the end of the summer, New York was finally starting to feel like home. She knew her way around; she was able to get more furniture and make her flat feel more like her home, and she enjoyed her new job. She even became friends with one of the tenants in the building. Her name was Jade she was born and raised in New York and forced Kate out of her hermit lifestyle forcing her to go out at least once a week. Once classes started Kate reverted back to her hermit lifestyle in order to get through her semester though she promised Jade that at least twice a month they’d go out to release some stress. One night as Kate was getting ready to go out Jade waited in the living room keeping herself busy with one of Kate’s old photo albums.
“Who’s this?” She questioned walking towards her.
“That’s my childhood best friend Anthony.” She informed her.
“He’s in a lot of pictures, you two must have been really close.” She observed looking over at her.
“Extremely.” She replied.
“When you say extremely?” She teased raising an eyebrow. “Did you two?”
“No.” She quickly answered as she pulled her hair back.
“But you wanted to?”
She shrugged. “I think I did.” She answered honestly. “But after his dad passed away, he became distant.”
“Have you told him?” Jade probed pulling her onto the couch.
“No.” She sighed. “We barley talk anymore.”
“Can I see a picture of him now?”
She took her phone out pulling up his Instagram. “He barley post-”
Jade quickly snatched her photo away observing his post. “Looks like someone just posted a photo with him today and tagged him. She stated zooming in on the photo. “If I had a best friend that hot and he stopped talking to me I’d be upset too.” Jade commented.
“He’s going through a lot; I don’t blame him I just really miss him.” She confessed staring at a picture Daphne posted of all of them at dinner.
“Well, are you going to message him?” Jade instigated swiftly clicking the message button.
“What am I supposed to say?”
“I don’t know the truth.” She stated derisively crossing her arms across her chest. “Tell him you miss him and that maybe he should visit and that maybe that you’re in love with him.”
“I’m not.”
“Right.”
“Why are Americans so bold?”
“Why are British people so prude?”
“I’m not a prude.” Kate stated firmly.
“I have not seen you interact with one guy since you got here, it’s been almost four months.” Jade mentioned.
“You’re not with me twenty-four seven.” She retorted.
“Kate.”
“Fine, I haven’t but I’m busy.”
“With…”
“Work and school.”
“Excuses.”
“Either I’m messaging sad hot British boy, or you at least talk to one guy when we go out tonight.”
“Fine.”
“Be approachable.” Jade ordered.
“I’ll think about it.” She groaned.