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"I don't even know where to begin," Grell says. Her leg is still numb from where Will had been laying on it. Like every other day, she's woken up, her teeth hurt. She doesn't need to restrain herself anymore, though. He already knows. "I never wanted you to find out," she admits, "especially not like this." There might be a few tears in her eyes, it's hard to know.
"Why join the academy?" Will asks bluntly. Any hint of sincerity that had been in his voice when she first woke is gone now. He's studying her clinically in a way that makes her want to pull the covers up over her head and hide.
"So that I could become an official hunter," she says in the same tone. "People are more willing to share information if you're a trained professional. Here, you can even keep mine" She pulls the bronze badge out of her jacket pocket and tosses it to Will.
"That doesn't answer my question. Why did you want to be a hunter?" Will asks and, god, it would be so easy to just lie. Lie to him, just like she had been doing for 10 years already.
She doesn't though. "Because I enjoy killing vampires. It's fun for me. When I see their black blood dripping down my knife all the way to my wrist I think I can actually feel my heart beating from the excitement." She scratches dried black blood from around the healed wound on her arm.
"But why!" Will screams with a crazy look in his eyes. "Why would you do that to your own people?" Something in Grell finally snaps. The dam that had been him ding everything back cracks and crumbles to dust.
"Because they're not my people!" Grell screams back. "They trained me to hunt and kill, and then they turned on me, so now I'm going to use what I know to wipe them all out!" She's seething now, fangs on full display as she hisses at Will. "The second my coven abandoned me for being a woman was the second I decided to stop holding back. That was 3 years before I even joined the academy! I've been a hunter way longer than I've had the goddamned badge! If they're not going to accept me, then I'm not going to accept them." She takes a second to calm down, take a deep breath, speak slightly softer. "I don't care if this is the last time you want to see me, just don't ever compare me to those fucking monsters! I went without human blood for 13 years, and it didn't kill me! I proved that their supposed need is only a want. A want that can be denied and suppressed if you're just willing to actually try." She's fully crying now. Small tears drip from her chin onto the sheets clumped in her palms. She only looks back up when a hand lands on her back reassuringly. "Don't fucking touch me. I know you're disgusted, so just leave already, damnit."
"No."
"I wasn't giving you a choice, William," she spits. He's looking her in the eyes now, nothing about him looks willing to stand down anytime soon. She pushes his hand away from her.
"Too bad. I'm staying with you," he says stubbornly. "We're partners and you're still injured."
"I don't need pity."
"Then it's good this isn't pity. I'm helping you because..." his voice trickles off into a silent murmur.
"Because of what? Spit it out already." Grell is fully defensive, acutely aware of her still-sore wound and so, so vulnerable. Even with streaks of tears running down her face, she musters up an intimidating aura.
"Because I respect you, and learning more about you hasn't changed that. You chose me, remember? There was a whole class full of skilled hunters, and you chose to go on this giant adventure with me. I'm not letting you go back on that, not yet." His hand returns to rest on her back. "Knowing what you've been going through, what you already have gone through, doesn't change my opinion of you. If anything, I only respect you more. So, I am not leaving until you are fully healed, however long that may be."
"It'll be a while," Grell says, changing the subject. "I don't heal quickly. Honestly, I'm surprised my arm feels as good as it does." Will looks at her guiltily; Her stomach drops. "What did you do?"
"What I had to do." He puts a bandaged hand in hers, letting her undo the wrapping to see for herself. "I made the choice, so don't feel bad about it." She glided her finger across the scabbed-over wound on his palm.
"Don't ever do that again," she says, her tone strict once again. "Promise me that."
"I can't make that promise." She presses a long nail into his palm, pressing hard enough for a drop of blood to bead on his pale skin. "I can't." She continues to press. "Stop it, all you're doing is drawing more blood, and I don't think that's what you want to do. I'm not making that promise." She finally stops pressing on the wound, but her eyes linger dangerously on the beads of blood.
"This is why I never wanted to ever taste blood again," she says. "It's so much harder to stop myself now. Stop me."
"Why?"
"Because I don't want to hurt you. You don't have to leave, but put the bandage back on and take a step back."
"I will," Will says, "if you can tell me honestly that drinking from me drawn won't help you at all, that it won't make you feel better, or heal faster, of whatever else."
"God, you're insufferable!" Grell bares her fangs again. "Of course, it will help! But I've gone 13 years without consciously drinking from some poor human, and I'm not breaking that now. So back the hell up." Will doesn't move.
"Is that what I am to you? Just some poor human?" he questions.
"No, of course not!"
"Then my blood won't break that streak. I am offering this willingly. You're better than the vampires that suck their victims dry, I know that, but you're still a vampire." She looks at him skeptically but doesn't immediately start arguing, so he continues. "Do you remember a few years back when I got sick, a real bad fever, and you spent all week making sure I was fed and comfortable and hydrated because you wanted me to get better as quick as possible?" She nods lightly. "Well, this is me doing the same for you."
"Are you positive?" Grell finally asks.
"Absolutely. I trust you, even if I know you cheated off of me in the writing section of the final exam. I highly doubt you know what 'Sanguinary' means, considering you doodled on most of your note pages."
"It means to crave blood or be inherently bloody," she says. "But you're right, I did copy off of you. I didn't know which of the major covens we were supposed to write about." Her hands cup his own and slowly bring it closer to her face as she talks. "How much?"
"Just don't make me dizzy and I won't mind."
"That's not a strict enough line. How much"
"No more than half a liter," he finally says.
She holds his hand diagonally across her face, her fangs are completely visible and she runs her tongue across them experimentally. Before she brings it any closer, she runs her tongue across where she plans to bite, lapping up the small amount of blood already pooling on his hand sinfully. "It'll hurt less," she explains when looking at his confused expression. Without any more stalling, she tilts her head slightly and pushes needle-sharp teeth into the flesh of his hand deep enough to draw blood. Once his blood begins to flow freely, she removes her fangs and licks at his skin once again. When her saliva makes its way into his bloodstream, he gasps lightly. "Not what you expected venom to feel like? I know the teachers tended to make it sound much worse than it is. I've heard that some people even enjoy it." She smirks at him with bloodied lips.
"I'm just happy you're letting this happen. Though, it is certainly different from how they explained." There's a pinkish blush spreading across his face, his eyes dart away from hers.
"You're heart just started beating faster," she says. "I think you're lying."
"Not now," he deflects. "Just drink."
"Fine, not now," she runs her tongue over his hand even slower, savoring the taste of him on her tongue. "But later."