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"I’m right here, Finn. I haven’t left. I won’t leave.”
He’s almost sick with the quick roll of grief that overcomes him. He’s crushed under the weight of it.
“You’re already gone.”
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“Finney, please don’t cry.” Robin steps closer, hands hovering like he wants to touch even though they both know he can’t, “It’ll be okay. I’m waiting for you okay? I’ll wait forever if I have to. I miss you too.”
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“It’s hard to live. I’m so tired of living.”“Don't talk like that,” Robin says sharply, “You got out, Finn. You’re a fighter. Like I always knew you were. You can’t stop fighting now.”
“I fight every day Robin. I fight to get out of bed, to take a shower, to eat, to go to school, to talk to people who act like everything’s back to normal,” he scoffs, voice broken, “to not just scream in the middle of the hallways because I keep thinking I saw you between the other kids, or turning a corner, or walking into a classroom. I’m losing my fucking mind. Every single day I have to wake up to world where you’re not in it. And I don’t want to fight to stay anymore.”
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Finn’s sobs have subsided into pitiful little hiccups, his eyes burning and raw from the tears still climbing their way down his cheeks. He can feel the front of his shirt clinging to his skin, tacky with salt water. “I can’t wait an entire lifetime to see you again.“Give it time. You’ll forget me one day.”
“Never,” Finn says fiercely, body burning at the thought.
Robin sighs and drops his hand from Finn’s cheek. He steps back and Finn feels the space stretch and tear like an open wound.
“I’m just some kid, Finn. You’re gonna grow up and move away from here and do some cool science-y space shit and I’ll stay the friend you had in high-school. It’s okay. There’s a whole world out there for you, Finn.”
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Why did he get to live and Robin didn’t? The world hasn’t made sense to Finn since he got out of that basement. Since Robin first went missing, actually. He’s so, so tired. He wants to take a nap on the train tracks and wake up where he can hug his best friend again.
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“You’ve always been so much braver than me.” Robins voice pulls his eyes open. He’s still there. Intangible, hard to make out the details, but still pressed close, “I wish I could touch you.” He pauses, hesitates, then says, “I love you, too. I shouldn’t tell you, it’s only going to make you hurt, but I’m selfish. I love you, Finn. I’m sorry I couldn’t tell you in person,” his voice breaks and Finn gets the strangest feeling that ghosts can’t cry, even if they want to, “I’m so sorry Finney.”
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Robin’s face crumples for a second and Finn feels so cruel begging him for something he can’t give. Something he can’t have. But Robin’s strong, stronger than Finn has ever been, and he pulls himself together with a brittle smile. “I’m always right beside you, Finn. I promise. Someone has to make sure you’re taking care of the thing I love most in the world, right?”
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“You’ll always be the thing I love most in the world, too,” Finn manages to choke out against the unrelenting bitterness of the moment. Their last moment. Robin smiles for him. Always trying to protect him from the hardest parts of the world. Keeping him safe from harm. Finn can’t imagine a day where he’s no longer in love with Robin Arellano. He was so lucky to have known him. -
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lover, don't let me down. by mikki_strange
"I’m right here, Finn. I haven’t left. I won’t leave.”
He’s almost sick with the quick roll of grief that overcomes him. He’s crushed under the weight of it.
“You’re already gone.”
YEOCH Right in the GUT Had me feeling for DAYS
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Bookmark Notes:
crying
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Bookmark Notes:
This breaks my heart I’m sobbing 😭
“I’m always right beside you, Finn. I promise. Someone has to make sure you’re taking care of the thing I love most in the world, right?”
“What thing?” Finn stumbles over his words slightly, confused for a moment. Whatever it is, Finn decides, he’ll guard it with his life. If it’s the only thing he can do for Robin ever again, he’ll make sure he does right by him.
“You. Wasn’t that obvious?” The hint of tease in his tone brings up memories of shoulder bumps and easy laughter and how solid Robin is supposed to be. How Finn should be able to reach a hand out and shove his shoulder and have it devolve into a stupid play fight that Robin would let him win, like always, just so he could say see Finn, you took down the toughest kid in school, you’re stronger than you think, buddy.
“You’ll always be the thing I love most in the world, too,” Finn manages to choke out against the unrelenting bitterness of the moment. Their last moment. Robin smiles for him. Always trying to protect him from the hardest parts of the world. Keeping him safe from harm. Finn can’t imagine a day where he’s no longer in love with Robin Arellano. He was so lucky to have known him.
“Goodbye for now, Finn.” Robin leans in close and rests their foreheads against each other as best as he’s able. His hands sink in too far as he cups his cheeks. Finn closes his eyes and for a brief second, so quick he almost misses it, he feels the warm, warm, alive press of lips to the corner of his mouth.