Work Text:
March 24, 2019
2:13 A.M.
Klaus: Diego
Klaus: Diego
Klaus: Dieeegoooo
2:16 A.M.
Diego: Jesus Klaus it’s the middle of the night why are you up
Klaus: why r U up
Diego: because Luther snores like a ducking freight train
Diego: *ducking
Diego: *FUCKING
Klaus: now Didi what would mom say
Diego: I told you not to call me that
Klaus: :(
Klaus: but you’re my brother
Diego: unfortunately
Klaus : :(
Diego: either you will kill me one day or Luther will or i will just kill myself to avoid you two and i haven’t decided which is worse
Klaus: and u say u don’t need therapy
Diego: why did i let you have my number
Klaus: bc u love me ofc
Diego: …
Klaus: u love me
Diego: well it’s like mom used to say
Diego: if you don’t have anything nice to say don’t say anything at all
Klaus: lol love u too Didi
Diego: go the fuck to sleep
March 26, 2019
3:31 P.M.
Klaus: Five needs a new wardrobe
Diego: THAT'S what you’re focused on??
Klaus: well yeah
Klaus: I don’t think our little brother should go around looking like he ran away from the home for thirteen year olds with mildly concerning murderous tendencies who happen to be sixty
Diego: why are you like this
Klaus: :)
Diego: our brother just came back from a future when the world has been totally destroyed and you’re concerned about his outfit??
Klaus: no point dying if you can’t die with some ~ flair ~
Diego: I really hate that you did that
Klaus: <3
Diego: you know what
Diego: take this as permission to stop texting me
Diego: really
Diego: it’s ok
Diego: I won’t mind
Klaus: but you get so LONELY
Klaus: poor Didi
Klaus: torn between desperate loneliness and the desire to push others away
Diego: oh my God I cannot with you
Klaus: you’re not denying it
Diego: you need therapy
Klaus: probably
Klaus: lol sibling therapy ftw
Diego: ftw?
Klaus: for the win!
Diego: i’d rather take five shopping than continue this conversation
Klaus: perfect! See u at the mall in half an hour
Diego: wait
Diego: Klaus
Diego: i’m not going shopping that was a joke
3:45 PM: Missed call from Diego Hargreeves
9:18 P.M.
Diego: never again
Diego: I am never doing that again
Klaus: idk Didi I wouldn’t be so quick to say no next time
Klaus: I know you saw that guy checking you out
Diego: wait what
Klaus: at the mall by the food court when you were waiting in line and bitching about how we were wasting time blah blah
Diego: you’re impossible
Klaus: he was kinda cute dontcha think
Diego: he was not checking me out
Klaus: oh he totally was
Klaus: don’t shoot the messenger, but I think you were checking HIM out
Diego: I WAS NOT
Klaus: you definitely were
Klaus: lol gn Didi
Diego: KLAUS I SWEAR
April 3, 2019
5:05 A.M.
Diego: hey
Klaus: good morning sunshine
Diego: idk what to do about the sparrows
Diego: if we don’t do anything now we’ll end up doing something we all regret later
Klaus: well yeah that’s usually how it goes
Diego: so what do you think we should do then
Klaus: not be stupid
Klaus: now I say this with great affection
Klaus: but Diego
Klaus: you have a history of being stupid
Diego: if I wasn’t so worried about the damn sparrows I would come over there and kick your ass
Klaus: it's gonna be okay Didi
Diego: and I’m worried Allison is gonna do something dumb
Klaus: ik
Klaus: i think we’re all worried about Allison
Diego: promise me you won’t start another cult in this timeline or like.. idk somehow cause an international incident
Klaus: lol no promises
Diego: Klaus
Klaus: ugh fine
Klaus: i will put an appropriate amount of effort into not reviving what was objectively the best cult the 60s had to offer
Diego: oh my God
Klaus: soooo waffles?
Diego: pancakes
Klaus: waffles
Klaus: I’ll give u my bacon
Diego: deal
April 6, 2019
10:22 P.M.
Klaus: i can’t believe it
Klaus: i cannot believe it
Diego: ikr
Klaus: literally HOW
Klaus: I mean I love Luther dearly
Klaus: BUT HOW
Diego: beats me
Klaus: Luther is all grown up :’)
Diego: thank God
Klaus: sister-in-law??
Diego: she’s still the enemy
Diego: don’t forget that
Klaus: and she might murder us or use Luther for information or otherwise sabotage us
Klaus: I know the drill brother dear
Diego: good
Klaus: hey if they have kids
Diego: for the love of all that is holy do NOT finish that sentence
Klaus: oh speaking of
Klaus: you might wanna come down to the lobby
Diego: now what
Diego: tell me the screaming didn’t have anything to do with you
Diego: or anyone else in this family
Klaus: :)
Diego: what’s that supposed to mean?
Klaus : :))
Diego: ugh i’ll be there in five