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Quietly Cable rolled out of the bed, careful not to wake Wade who was for once sleeping soundly, undisturbed by the pain and the nightmares he suffered almost constantly.
He slipped out the room, petted the dog who was eating days old pizza out of an abandoned box by the sofa and went for a shower.
Cable was enjoying one of the rare occasions where he could spend time in the past-present without having to pull Deadpool out of some world ending fight, or having to be in the future-present desperately trying to stop the world from ending, again.
After his shower, Cable wondered back to the bedroom for his clothes, only to find them missing along with Wade.
“Wade!” he called out accusingly.
At his summons Wade appeared in the doorway dressed in Cable’s uniform with tinfoil wrapped around his right arm. He was wearing his mask again now.
“Hey look I’m CablePool. Though sorry ladies it’s not in that sense; that was happening before this fic began.” Wade rambled.
Cable was used to Wade’s crazed rambles so more often than not just ignored them. Though he did have the briefest desire to check the internet for whatever CablePool might be, if it was a real thing and not just another of Wade’s crazy fantasies.
“Wrong arm, Wade.” He said holding out his own left arm. The limb was one of the few parts of his body that had been infected and altered by the techno-organic virus, leaving it metal and robotic instead of the flesh it should be.
“Aww, shucks…” Wade paused a second, before answering a voice Cable couldn’t hear. “No, he hasn’t.” he squeaked, the voice he used whenever he’d being doing mischief.
Cable shook his head, readjusting the towel around his waist. “Wade take it off, I need to get dressed.” He tried to frown but he couldn’t stop the faint smile that was infecting his lips. Though Wade was easily excited by pretty much everything around him, it was rare that Cable got to see him genuinely relaxed and happy, without the tenseness in his shoulders that was ever present in a fight, or just generally around other people.
Wade left the room, stripping as he went, to change in to his own outfit that he’d left draped over the back of the sofa. A few minutes later a red gloved hand reached through the door and threw the pile of clothes at him with a snicker.
“Ooo, I love pancakes.” Wade answered his own unvoiced question, wondering off towards the kitchen.
Cable dressed, his mind wondering back to the future-present he had to leave for soon. It wasn’t until he caught his reflection in the broken mirror did Cable realise what Wade’s mischief voice was about.
“WADE!” He shouted, staring down at his weapons pouches that had been embroidered with Dora the Explorer characters. He stormed out in to the kitchen where he found a steaming pile of pancakes but no Deadpool to eat them, a bounty sheet had been abandoned next to the plate with the words ‘sounds like fun’ scrawled over in red crayon. Cable grabbed a couple of the pancakes, eating them quickly as he punched in the coordinates of on the bounty, a crime lord in Argentina, who would be surrounded by a small army.
He materialised at the location, on the outskirts of a small fortress. Going by the trail of bodies and blood, this was clearly where Wade had appeared also. Cable followed the trail until he found a large mass of bodies, scrambling to get to the red-clad person in the middle. Deadpool was fighting off the guards pretty well, even though he had one of his own swords thrust through his abdomen, and with every movement he let out a little whimpering ‘ow’. Cable pulled out his own grossly oversized pistol and began shooting at the throng of bodies, with every pull of his trigger at least two dropped.
“WADE!” he shouted again, still fuming. He didn’t care about using, Wade’s codename, all these guys were about to end up very dead within the next few minutes anyway.
“Cable, my man! You decided to join me after all!” Deadpool was far too cheery for a man bleeding out around a sword and alternating between shooting and stabbing people with another of his swords.
“Wade! What did you do to my pouches?!”
“I know right? We even paraded around in them for him. Yeah, no appreciation at all.”
“Wade!”
“Hey man I thought you said you liked Dora the Explorer.”
“I said no such thing!” He shot four times in quick succession, the chests of six men blossomed with red.
“Yeah, you definitely said something while we were watching the ‘toons.” Deadpool was starting to lag, the blood loss finally starting to hit him.
“I said I liked that we could enjoy some well-deserved down time.”
“Ooo, yeah and that’s what started the sexy!” Wade managed an acrobatic feat that Cable didn’t think he should be capable of considering how much blood he’d lost already, he did stumble on his landing though.
“Wade why would you embroider a little girl on my pouches, I feel like some kind of paedophile.” They shot the last two men standing at the same time, before Deadpool fell heavily on his backside and tugged at the sword. It barely moved.
“Thought you needed a bit of colour about you!” Even through the mask, Cable could see Wade’s idiotic grin.
“So you stitched a children’s cartoon character on to my uniform?”
“Be glad it wasn’t ponies, if people thought you were a brony, then they really would think you were a paedophile. Ow.” He tugged at the sword again, but it still didn’t move. Cable walked over and wrapped his broad hand around the hilt.
“The hell is a brony?” he said before pulling mercilessly, the sword came out with a stomach churning squelch.
“Dyaaa-owwww!” Deadpool fell back and let his healing factor kick in and heal the wound. “Something only paedophiles watch.”
Cable offered his hand to pull Deadpool up, who graciously accepted it. While Wade cleaned his swords on the bodies around him and reloaded his guns, Cable pulled at the stitches with a knife, but all he managed was to mutilate the smiling image of Dora, the colourful cotton still sat in the obvious shape of the character.
They moved on through the small mansion, Cable happily shooting anyone whose mouth tugged up in to a smile at the sight of the colourful stitches.
After the crime lord had been taken care of Cable announced that he had to get back to the future to stop the world from ending, but before he did;
“Oh and Wade.” Cable said, regaining the attention of his attention deficit friend. When Wade turned to look at him again, he raised his gun and shot him through the heart. “That’s for the fucking Dora the Explorer patches.”
And with that he teleported away.
He went back to Wade’s flat to properly remove the embroidery before returning to the future.