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be with you

Summary:

XX.XX.20XX.

Shiho laid still on the hospital bed, silently gazing at the stars from her window. Those constellations that she would once recognize in her younger years now seemed like nothing but mere sparkles in the dark night sky, as if they were empty eyes staring right through her.

Oh, how she had longed for someone to hold her tight, embracing her, or at the very least, grasping her hand as they both gazed so fondly at the skies that dotted themselves with the vivid stars. Perhaps they would speak to one another, but of course, there was no one beside her for the moment. Not even her parents, Shizuku, Ichika, Honami, maybe even–

Knock, knock.

"Shiho-chan, can I... come in?"

Work Text:

XX.XX.20XX.

Shiho laid still on the hospital bed, silently gazing at the stars from her window. Those constellations that she would once recognize in her younger years now seemed like nothing but mere sparkles in the dark night sky, as if they were empty eyes staring right through her.

It's been a while since she could see something so clearly like this. And yet, her mind refused to recall those memories of stargazing in the past, leaving her so quietly in her thoughts that passed by. For these days, all she could see was a blurry vision, clouded with her own tears as the pain from her illness grew worse and worse. The aching sensation remaining inside her in pulses, almost like she was continuously plagued by an arrow of agony emanating from her entire body.

Now, however, that feeling is gone. Only peace and serenity, albeit fleeting, remained in her entire being.

For there was no one to accompany her during her last night.

And so, the girl continued to numbly stare into the stars, as if she was wishing for someone to be there with her, stay by her side as the stars fall and vanish from the sky. How she had longed for someone to hold her tight, embracing her, or at the very least, grasping her hand as they both gazed so fondly at the skies that dotted themselves with the vivid stars. Perhaps they would speak to one another, but of course, there was no one beside her for the moment. Not even her parents, Shizuku, Ichika, Honami, maybe even–

Knock, knock.

Oh.

"Shiho-chan, can I... come in?"

That familiar voice. That voice, which used to sound so cheerful and bright in her childhood, was now no more than a weak whisper. A small, faint call to the sickly young girl, soon followed by a chuckle from the older's frail being.

"Y–yes," she breathed out, a hand reaching to take hold of a cup of warm water. "It's okay. Just... open the door. It's not locked."

The keyboardist slowly entered the room, those blonde locks of hers shining so brightly beneath the stars' hold. That rosy, magnificent shade of pink gleamed with the moon's light, reflecting the rays of the night's most brilliant stars. The way it framed her face with its texture was just one of the many wonderful things Shiho loved to see whenever she was to gaze so fondly at Saki. And yet, it's been so long since she had last seen it.

"It's been a while since I've last seen you, Saki," she laughed, followed by a sickly-sounding cough that racked her whole being, the urge to throw up building inside of her throat. "I... really didn't expect to see you here."

Saki then took a seat next to her on the hospital bed, turning to face the girl that sat so soundly atop the white mattress.

"I just wanted to be sure you were alright. I kinda missed you, that's all."

"I see. Saki being truly concerned about my well-being... that really warms my heart."

"Really?"

"Yeah," the girl uttered a word as her palm moved to pat those strands of yellowish-blonde hair, pulling her close so to kiss them so briefly underneath her gaze. "It makes me happy. I'm glad you still remember me... after all these years."

Ah, right. Three years without Shiho, she thought. Spending time with everyone else was she in her current middle school years, living a happy life with everyone whom she knew so well. Living her dreams of entering a new environment with her childhood friends, joining a club, and chatting with her club mates about how exhausted they would feel after each session of studying. And those dreams of going to so many places weren't shattered into oblivion. Instead, she was the one to experience all that joy and bliss, nearly forgetting about a distant, yet very dear girl that she had been so used to seeing every single day in their childish times.

Saki was never the one to forget, after all.

"... Of course. Of course I remember you."

Something sounded of a faint sob, a sniffle that was hidden beneath her soft breaths. Tearing up was she before the sickly girl's gaze, fingers moving to grab the now empty palm of Shiho's frail hand. Stroking the delicate skin, she sadly smiled, gulping down her tears that threatened to escape her crimson-stained eyes.

"Ah," she jolted so suddenly, her free hand stroking the other's warm cheek. "Saki, what's wrong?"

"Shiho-chan," Saki murmured in a trembling voice, a single tear dropping from the corner of her eye and trickling down her cheek. "I know this is sudden, but... I missed you a lot. I'm... sorry for never being able to be with you."

"It's... alright. I forgive you. At least you're with me now. I've... missed you, too, you know?"

It wasn't long before the blonde buried her head in the crook of her neck, weeping as her tears of regret continued to fall and drop onto the once untouched surface of the bedsheets. Gripping the fabric of the hospital robe was her hand, trembling, never wishing to let go of the girl who she felt so close to after years of being away from each other.

Seeing such a sight before her very eyes, Shiho couldn't help but to embrace the crying girl, stroking her back so gently, as if her hand was as light as her words, gently whispering her name. A useless, yet warm attempt to calm down her dearest's sobs.

As the two held onto one another in the still night, the stars didn't cease to fall from the night's ethereal skies. And of course, time itself would never cease to tick, their bittersweet memories flooding the two minds like flowers blooming and spreading their petals of joy and despair. How Shiho began to fell ill when her heart felt so torn, and how Saki longingly desired to stay with the other despite the awful consequences of such a selfish act. How in truth, she failed to tell the latter of her true feelings for her; that her heartfelt love and admiration for her dear childhood friend were something that she couldn't wish to forget.

And those days where Shiho would push her away, as if denying the gesture of kindness, or worse, maybe even acting like she hated her. It was at those times when Saki would feel so empty, as if a part of her heart was missing as the bassist remained so cold, rejecting each and every word spoken between them.

Now, there was nothing else in their hearts but regret. Regret. Regret. No matter how much she wanted to turn back time and reach out to her even with her bare hands, there was only regret.

"Hey, Shiho-chan," she suddenly spoke up, her grip on the robe loosening as she looked up at the girl before her. "Why does your body... feel so cold?"

"Hm? Really?" the silver-haired bassist's acts of comfort didn't come to a halt. Instead, her calloused fingers moved to stroke Saki's neck, up to her head as she fiddled with those yellowish strands.

"Mhm. And your hand... why doesn't it feel any warmer?"

Shiho simply chuckled, albeit sounding so bitterly off. Her freezing breath made the other briefly shiver in the night's gust of wind, causing the blonde to attempt to wiggle her body closer into the other's arm. And yet, it remained the same. No warmth.

There really was no warmth left in her body.

"Shiho-chan... Why-?" Saki pleaded once more, although that urge had diminished as the bassist only let out a short, loving sigh. Wishing so desperately as she closed her eyes was she, contemplating whether she should utter her words that are yet to release or not.

Whatever. She'll say it. She might not be able to ask her tomorrow morning, or on any other time.

Perhaps Shiho wouldn't even be there to listen to her sayings anymore.

"You're not going to die, are you?"

Hearing such words in a concerned tone, Shiho couldn't help but let out a gentle smile and laugh, a terrible, sickly cough following her chortle right after. A hand was clasped over her mouth, now wiping away the faint stains of red on her bottom lip.

"Should I... tell you?"

"Huh?" Her eyes widened, letting loose a soft whimper as she held onto the other, eyes filling up with tears before she freed the older from her grip. "... If you do trust me enough, then... I guess so."

"I see. Well then, I'll tell you everything. There's no reason to keep it all inside, after all," she smiled. "I... only have a couple hours left to live. Probably even a few minutes, if it's not already too late. You may be surprised to hear this, but... I believe the end is just around the corner for me."

Silence. A moment of utter silence, as a moment filled with tears and sadness filled in their place. Saki was frozen, speechless and with tearful eyes, gazing so hopelessly into the girl's fabricated expression. The calm, evenness of Shiho's face was nothing but a feature of beauty to Saki. And yet, she found it so despairingly heart-wrenching, although the curve of the bassist's lips warmed her heart's cold as she leaned against her chest once again.

"So... you..."

"Yes, Saki. You wouldn't have to worry about me anymore."

Those words of affirmation did nothing to heal the aching in her heart, the knowledge of loss consuming her very soul. Now, those words seemed to solidify the dreadful truth that had been left unsaid for too long. That terrible reality had manifested itself for days, maybe even weeks, locked away in Shiho's heart for such an awfully long time.

"Shiho... Shiho..." Saki managed to speak once more, holding onto her beloved friend so tight as the ticking of the clock on the wall accompanied her sobs. "You... never said anything about this. Why are you telling me... now?"

"Ah, about that... I never really intended to tell that to anyone. Not even Onee-chan," Shiho replied sheepishly. "It's just that... I feel like it wouldn't hurt if I told you this now, so... I did. I'm sorry, Saki. I'm sorry that I didn't do so earlier. I just didn't have the heart to do it before. But it's too late now, isn't it?"

The girl's cold, pale hand reached for Saki's head, patting it so to affirm the sincerity of her very words. Fingers running through her hair, fluttering light kisses over them and showering her sad, tear-streaked face in loving caresses, Shiho leaned in and let her lips seal an unspoken promise, letting them linger against the younger's mouth for a split-second in a desperate, aching plea to accept the fate of their parting. Their first, yet last, kiss.

"Take that as an apology from me, if you would," she breathed out, lovingly caressing the side of the blonde's face. "For not being the one to tell you, and not being the one to last all this time. I'm sorry for that, too, Saki."

And there, that bitterness in her heart had finally been washed. A weight has been lifted from her heavy heart, vanquished by the gentle embrace of one she had yearned to be with since then. The horrible truth about her death was finally laid bare, and now... well, now all she could do was accept it. Those words that spilled out so freely out of her doctor's mouth, now delivered to her dearest friend; that it would be too late to save her; that there was nothing one could do to help her return to the peaceful life of youth.

"... I forgive you. I really do."

"Thank you," Shiho murmured softly, sniffling as she chuckled. "I really needed to hear that."

"You're welcome. I... love you, Shiho-chan. I love you so, so much."

"Ah... I see how it is. I do, too."

With that, the young couple, whom had shared such a warm, yet emotionally agonizing embrace in their last moments together, remained sealed with one another by the still night, with only the faint sound of the clock on the wall ticking with each passing second. Saki, who was once holding onto her beloved so tightly, now sat still beneath the older's gaze. As for Shiho, who had desired nothing but to be with her once again, was now smiling so contently beneath the stars that she stared into from her window, stroking the strands of the slumbering girl's hair.

And as the stars finally ceases to fall, there she was, breathing her last, loosely wrapped in the arms of the person she loved so dearly.

"Thank you, Saki. For all the good times we've shared."

As her body grew cold, the last of her words finally rolled off of the tip of her tongue, a smile etched on her serene features.

"And I really, really love you, too."