Work Text:
Kel cracked the door open ever so slightly, the familiar routine of floorboards creaking. He leaned into his front foot to peer into the room’s darkness.
“Hero?” he called into the darkness before opening the door just enough to slide himself through the crack. He gently pushed the door shut, then gave his eyes a moment to adjust to the darkness that now enveloped him. There, he saw the all too familiar form in front of him; a bundle of blankets upon the bed adjacent from his, stirring from the sudden light that leaked into the room.
He called out again, “Hero? Aren’t you going to brush your teeth? It’d be really awful to get a cavity… been there, done that.” he joked as he rubbed his cheek at the unpleasant memory of a numb and swollen cheek, a well needed visit to the dentist after eating too much Halloween candy one year.
But Hero didn’t respond. At this point, Kel knew that it was too much to expect a response from his brother, but it didn’t stop him from wishing for one. He wished for something, anything from his brother he could spin a conversation out of. It had been months since he had seen the normal Hero; the Hero that would jokingly scold him when he told him about the daily trouble he would find himself in at school or the Hero that would chuckle at what stupid argument Aubrey and him had got into that day. But the normal Hero was gone. He died when Mari did.
He maneuvered his way around the piles of clothes and other items that littered the floor of their shared room, making a stop along the way to turn on the lamp on his nightstand to make the journey to Hero’s bedside a lot easier for himself. Hero was the one who had always made sure the floor of their room was spick-and-span, clothes neatly tucked away in their proper drawers and everything was put away on the right shelves or in the right place, but when the meager task was left to Kel, this was the result.
He licked his dry, cracked lips, and placed one hand on top of the blanket lump, giving it a little shake as he spoke. “Everyone misses you, y’know?” He started. “Everyday, Aubrey asks me how you are. I haven’t seen Basil or Sunny around recently, but you know they’re probably thinking about you too.”
Not a single reaction. So Kel continued. “We all want you to get better. And…” The words escaped his lips before he could catch them. “If Mari were alive, I don’t think she would want to see you all sad like this, either. I’m sure if she were here, she would scold you for being all down in the dumps like this-”
“Shut up, Kel.” Hero broke his silence, his voice demanding and stern. Kel’s stomach dropped. That was the first time in his life Hero had ever told him to shut up.
“But I was just trying to help-“
“No Kel,” Hero threw his blankets off of himself and swung his legs over the bed, standing up to meet Kel’s gaze with his own. The older brother that was once taller than him was now the same height as him. In the gentle lamp light, the bags underneath Hero’s eyes were more than noticeable. They sunk his face in, aging him older than he actually was. He looked tired, his eyes red from his overused tear ducts. Kel pretended not to notice the sobs and sniffles he heard before he fell asleep for the night, but it was hard to forget how each sniffle was like a tiny needle pricking his heart. He wished he could do more for his brother. “Every single day, you come into our room and tell me about how everyone misses me, how everyone wants me to come back…”
“Do you think saying all of this helps me?!“ he shouted, “Do you think this brings Mari back to us?!”
Kel shrunk in on himself. He noticed how the tears in Hero’s eyes threatened to spill over. “I know it doesn’t-“
“WHAT DO YOU KNOW?!” Hero screamed, his voice cracking. Tears streamed down his face as he cried, “YOU WERE NEVER AS CLOSE TO MARI AS THE REST OF US WERE!”
Kel’s mind blanked at what he wanted to say when those words left Hero’s mouth. It felt as if something in his heart had snapped. Maybe Hero was right. Maybe Kel wasn’t as attached to Mari as Aubrey or Basil. Kel wasn’t dating Mari like Hero was, nor was he her little brother like Sunny.
Kel was always just there.
He tried to laugh off the words as if he were just told a funny joke. He wanted to show Hero that he was bigger than the words he spat at him, that he understood that they were only coming from a place of hurt. But the smile on Kel’s face betrayed him, being the first to crumble before the tears clouded his vision. Hot wetness poured down his cheeks. The lump in his throat stifled anything he wanted to say; he choked on his words.
Hero continued, “Don’t you ever think before you speak, Kel?! This is what I’ve always hated about you!”
Kel let the full weight of Hero’s words crash into him. He stood there, unsure if he should wipe at his never ending tears. He never thought Hero would say something like this to him. As much as he tried to understand the hurt Hero was enduring, he began to wonder… how long did Hero feel this way towards him? How long had he been holding back these words?
“Hero…” his voice barely came out a whisper. “Calm down, please…” he begged.
Suddenly, the door flung open, the worried faces of their parents in the doorframe. A wave of relief washed over him, hoping they would de-escalate the situation for them.
Without a single word, his parents passed by him and ran straight to Hero, enveloping him in their arms.
Oh.
Kel wiped at his eyes, refusing to look at the loving scene he wasn’t a part of.
Even in his own family, Kel was just there.
He didn’t know how much more he could take. It felt as if a ton of bricks weighed on his chest, crushing him entirely. He could hear the hushed whispers of “it’s okay” as their mother ran her fingers through his hair. There were no fingers in his hair, no parents by his side. Even if both of them were crying, this confirmed Kel’s deepest darkest fear that Hero was always the favourite in their family. He was the reliable one, he was the responsible one. And.. Kel was just Kel. What good qualities did he have? All he did was act before he thought, and hurt people by speaking before he did.
As Kel’s knees buckled from the thoughts spiralling inside his head, Kel felt a pair of arms around him. It was Hero.
Hero’s shoulders shook and his voice trembled. He whispered under his breath over and over again, “I’m sorry, I’m sorry, I’m sorry, Kel.”
Kel sank into his arms, reciprocating the hug.
“It’s okay,” Kel sniffled. “Everything’s gonna be okay...”