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Eddie knew Steve didn’t like his own scars.
He could tell from the way Steve always wore long sleeve shirts, no matter the weather. He could tell from the way Steve would tense whenever his fingers brushed by the sensitive, pale skin. He could especially tell by the way Steve would wake up in the early morning hours, gasping and crying and clutching at his sides.
Eddie knew Steve didn’t like his own scars, and it broke his heart.
Steve hated his scars.
He hated the way the new skin tugged whenever he moved a certain way. He hated how it was more sensitive, so he was constantly hyper aware of their existence. He hated how when Eddie tried to touch him there, he would freeze and apologize and Eddie was so sweet about it and it was so unfair, because he was too broken to give his boyfriend what he wanted and he didn’t deserve him.
Mostly, he hated how every night, without fail, Steve would wake up in a cold sweat, shaking, and he could feel the demobats there, biting off chunks of his skin, ripping into him, making him grip the scars, stinging and aching and he wanted the nightmares to stop. He desperately wished the memories would just go away, that he would forget and be okay again.
Steve wanted to be okay with his scars, he really did. When he saw Eddie’s scars, he didn’t think they were disgusting. Eddie was beautiful, the pale scars just showed how brave he is. But it wasn’t like that for Steve. When he saw his scars, all he could be reminded of was pathetically trying to get away and failing, because he was weak.
He knew if he voiced any of his thoughts to anyone, they’d try and cheer him up. Tell him he was brave too, that his scars didn’t make him ugly. He didn’t want to hear those words, because those would be lies.
There had been times where everyone came over, and today would be one of those times. They were having a cook-out, a ‘family get-together’ as Eddie jokingly called it, and everybody would be there. Steve knew he wouldn’t be getting in the pool, because that would mean taking his shirt off. He pushed down the anxiety that was building in his chest and just cleaned his house, getting it ready for everyone to be there.
He set up a grill outside, put a bunch of silly pool toys out because he knew the kids would love them, and put a pile of movies on the coffee table for after eating. He wanted everyone to have fun. The anxiety stayed, though, swirling around his stomach like a tornado, growing more and more violent the closer it got to the time they planned.
By the time the first people arrived, Steve thought he was going to vomit. The doorbell rang and he rushed to answer it, swallowing down the bile that rose in his throat and trying to control his breathing. He opened the door to see the Byers-Hopper family. El and Will smiled at him in greeting before running through his house, directly to the pool. Hopper chuckled and clapped Steve on the shoulder before following the kids. Joyce was carrying a big cooler, and Steve was quick to help her with it. She smiled gratefully.
“Thank you Steve, dear,” she said, but her smile soon fell slightly as she looked at him. Steve should have known that of course Joyce would be able to tell there was something wrong. She was a mother, and could tell when they were upset or nervous or sick. After Vecna, when Steve was in the hospital being treated for bat bites, she had asked him where his parents were. When he didn’t answer, just white-knuckling the sheets, she must have been able to come to her own conclusion, because after that, she started inviting him to her house for dinner.
She treated Steve like a part of the family, like a son, and it made a warm, fuzzy feeling in his chest. Right now, he felt too nervous to bask in the feeling of motherly love that accompanied Joyce wherever she went.
Steve looked at her and forced a smile onto his face. “I’m fine, Joyce, just waiting on the others. You can head out to the pool with Hop and the kids, I’ll bring this stuff out,”
She frowned, clearly not believing his excuse, but didn’t push, instead just pulling him into a quick hug before following the others, throwing a concerned look over her shoulder. Steve ignored it and instead put the cooler on the counter and opened it.
They had brought burgers and hot dogs, with Steve already having all of the buns, along with snacks and drinks for the kids, like chips and soda. He smiled slightly, real this time, hoping he would be able to make everyone happy.
The next people to get there were Eddie and Robin, with a loud knock instead of ringing the doorbell. Steve laughed to himself quietly as he opened it and saw the happy faces of his best friend and his boyfriend. “Hey, dingus,” Robin said, walking in and pulling herself up to sit on the counter. Eddie gave Steve a kiss on the cheek and did the same, and he shook his head fondly at them.
“Hey, how are you guys?”
“Oh, you know, Stevie, just excited for a good old family event,” Eddie teased. “Anyone else here yet?” Steve nodded.
“Yeah, the Byers and Hop got here a few minutes before you guys did. Still waiting on everyone else, though,”
“Awesome. I’m gonna go in the pool, because it is hot as fuck out today, will my lovely boyfriend be joining me? Oh, and Robin can too, I guess,” he joked, and Robin elbowed him.
Steve froze for a second, and Eddie clearly noticed, because he saw worry flash in his eyes before he was smiling and laughing again like before. “I’ll come in the pool with you. You coming, dingus?”
“Uh, maybe later, I’m gonna wait in here for everyone to get here, alright? I’ll meet you guys out there,”
Robin shrugged and hopped off the counter, walking outside. Eddie got off the counter too but paused, looking at Steve for a moment. “Are you okay, sweetheart? You aren’t looking too hot,”
“Wow, thanks,” Steve said sarcastically, but smiled at his boyfriend. Eddie didn’t smile back.
“You’re really pale, maybe you should rest for a bit, and I can take over greeting duty?”
Steve shook his head. “No, I’m okay, Eds, really. Go outside and have fun, okay? I’ll be out once everyone else gets here.” He smiled.
“Alright, but please tell me if anything’s wrong, okay?” Steve nodded, and Eddie followed Robin, and he soon heard a loud splash and the kids screaming as Eddie must have jumped into the pool. He shook his head and lounged around the room, waiting until the doorbell rang again.
He didn’t have to wait long, and when he opened the door, the rest of the kids, plus Nancy, Jonathan, and Argyle, streamed in, with Dustin giving Steve a high five, Nancy hugging him, and Jonathan giving him a nod. The other kids all ignored him, just running outside so they could play in the pool as soon as possible. Nancy smiled at him and held up a pack of beers. “Thought I could bring something for the adults,” She put it on the counter next to the cooler and the three headed outside too.
Now, Steve knew he didn’t really have an excuse not to go outside too, but he knew the moment he did, he would be bombarded by kids asking him to get in the pool too, and he really, really didn’t want to. He figured maybe he could come up with an excuse to not swim, so he took a deep breath, grabbed the cooler, and walked outside.
“Steve!” He heard Dustin shout the second he was outside. The kids were all already in the pool along with Eddie. Dustin was on Eddie’s shoulders, trying to shove El off of Mike’s shoulders. Max and Will were splashing each other while Lucas was laughing. Nancy and Robin were cuddling in a chair by the pool, giggling and whispering to each other, while Argyle and Jonathan were laughing loudly, and had suspiciously red eyes. Joyce and Hopper were both standing by the grill, chatting quietly, glancing over to check on the kids every once in a while.
“Yeah?” Steve asked, watching as Dustin was suddenly shoved off of Eddie’s shoulders and into the water. He noticed El discretely wipe her nose with the back of her hand and laughed quietly. Dustin shot out of the water spluttering while Eddie laughed at him.
“You’ve gotta come in the water! Maybe you can win against El and Mike!” Steve paused, thinking for a moment. He saw Eddie watching him intensely, and he knew he would want to talk to him soon. Shit.
“Nah, I can’t, gotta help cook the food, y’know?” He felt a bit guilty when he saw Dustin slump, disappointed, but he wasn’t going to take it back. He hadn’t been shirtless other than showering and changing since he had gotten his scars, and he didn’t want the others to see. Eddie frowned and furrowed his brows, looking at Steve like he was trying to read his mind. Steve sent him a smile, trying to show him ‘hey, I’m okay,’ but it didn’t seem to help.
Steve walked over to Joyce and Hopper and put down the cooler on a picnic table, opening it and starting to prepare the food. He heard Hop behind him and turned to face him. “Kid, you should go with the others. I can take care of the food,” he said, and Steve shook his head.
“It’s fine, Hop, I don’t mind,” He saw Joyce’s worried face appear beside Hopper.
“Steve, honey, are you sure this isn’t about something else? You’ve seemed a bit off,” She asked. Steve’s stomach did a nervous flip, and he tried to smile, but he guessed it must have looked more like a grimace, since it only made her look more worried. Suddenly, he felt someone’s wet arms wrap around him from behind and he tensed, but relaxed once he saw the ring clad hands tracing invisible shapes into his skin.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I’m gonna talk to Stevie inside, if that’s alright?” He asked, smiling at Joyce. She smiled back.
“Of course, Jim and I will get started on the food.” She sent them one last smile and pulled Hopper away to the grill, and Eddie grabbed Steve’s hand.
“C’mon, babes, let's go talk inside, huh?” Eddie led Steve into the house and onto the couch, sitting down next to him. “Alright, what’s going on, love? You can talk to me,” He said gently, and Steve broke. A sob ripped its way from his throat, and he clutched Eddie, crying into his chest. Eddie stroked his hair, holding onto him tightly. “Hey, hey, it’s okay, it’s okay, Stevie,”
“‘M sorry,” Steve said, and Eddie shushed him.
“No sorries, honey, tell me what’s going on.”
“I don’t-” he sobbed again. “I don’t want them to see them,”
“Who to see what, hun?” Eddie asked. Steve sniffled.
“The kids, I don’t- I don’t want them to see my scars,” he spit the word scars out like a curse, a pained look on his face, and gripped his boyfriend a little tighter. Eddie hugged him right back, kissing the tears off of his face. “They’re so ugly, and they’re- they just show how weak I am, and- and- the kids have already gone through enough, Eds, they don’t- they don’t need to see my gross scars,” he stuttered out, and Eddie paused in stroking his hair.
“No, honey, no,” Eddie said, still peppering his face in kisses. “They aren’t ugly, or gross, because they’re a part of you, and every single part of you is /so/ beautiful. They show how brave you are, love, how you stood up to monsters for the kids, how strong you are. Nobody here would ever judge you for them, you know that, right?”
Steve nodded, still sniffling.
“But- I don’t want to upset them, Eds,”
“Stevie, love, I promise you your scars won’t upset them. The kids have been through a lot but they’re tough, y’know? And they love you. It took me a while to feel okay with mine, too,” he reassured, pressing another kiss to his boyfriend’s flushed face.
They sat there for a few minutes in a comfortable silence, broken only by a few sniffles, until Dustin walked in cautiously, looking worried. Steve had yet to notice him, but Eddie did, and he shot the boy a smile.
“Uh, Steve? Are you okay?” Eddie felt Steve tense beside him, and comfortingly squeezed him a little tighter. Steve relaxed a bit, sending Eddie a small, slightly teary smile, and turned to Dustin.
“Yeah, I’m fine now, kid, how about we head back out and beat Mike and El’s asses at chicken?”
Dustin’s face immediately lit up, and he turned, but paused, before running to Steve and giving him a quick hug. He ran outside and they could hear him screaming triumphantly at Mike and El. Eddie smiled down at Steve, who was staring at the place the kid was previously standing, a bright smile on his face, so wide it was hurting his cheeks and crinkling his eyes. Eddie realized he had never been more in love.
He gave him one last kiss before standing up. “Well, c’mon, can’t leave Henderson waiting, can we?” He asked teasingly, and Steve snapped out of his trance and stood up too. They walked outside together and Steve smiled happily at Joyce, who looked relieved that Steve was feeling better. He reminded himself to give her an extra tight hug later.
At the end of the day, they all had full stomachs, and were laughing and smiling on the couch, watching a movie as a family. And in the end, Steve only paused a moment before pulling off his shirt.