Chapter Text
Izuku slowly came to, a foggy feeling covering his mind. Slowly, he became aware of someone quietly sobbing. Opening his eyes he looked over and saw Recovery Girl, she seemed to be crying, “Why…” He croaked out, coughing from his dry throat. He wanted to know why she was crying.
The healer jerked up, quickly bringing him a cup of water, “How are you feeling?” She asked, her voice trembling slightly.
“T-tired… but, why are you crying?” he asked hesitantly, a pit forming in his stomach. Why was she looking at him so sadly...
She pursed her lips and took in a deep breath, steadying herself, “During the surgery I had to do a CT scan to make sure that your arm was healed properly. I-” Recovery Girl stopped talking, her eyes rewatering, “Dear, you have… you have lung cancer…” she said, the tears trailing down her face.
“Lung cancer?” Izuku parroted, he knew a little bit about cancer, not much though. Just that it was tricky to cure, and sometimes even incurable.
“Yes,” she paused, wiping away the tears, “Have you perhaps noticed trouble breathing lately? Or that you are coughing more than usual?”
He nodded, “These are both symptoms of lung cancer, I took the liberty of doing some more tests while you were knocked out. Midoriya… you have Small Cell Lung Cancer, or SCLC, is a fast-growing cancer which is hard to cure. It’s in the extensive stage…”
Izuku felt the pit in his stomach grow, “Why are you crying Recovery Girl… it’s treatable right? Sure it might be a bit of a process, but I’ll get better… right?”
She stayed silent. Tears streamed down her face as she looked away.
“Please… please Recovery Girl… this is treatable right? I’m going to get better?”
“I’m sorry,” she whispered out and suddenly Izuku hated those words.
I’m sorry .
It was what his mom told him when he asked her if he could be a hero. Now… now those same words are being repeated.
“I’m… I’m going to die?” he questioned, unable to comprehend that. Couldn’t even begin to accept that this was really happening.
The healing hero nodded, “Yes. I can’t cure cancer, no one’s healing quirk can, and the old treatments that used to work in pre quirk history no longer work as the cancer has mutated. Midoriya… you have an estimated 4-7 months to live.”
“4-7 months?” Izuku parroted faintly, his own voice sounding disant.
The healer nodded, unable to meet his gaze. He sat frozen in disbelief for a minute, or possibly longer. He couldn’t believe it, he didn’t want to believe it, but… Recovery Girl wouldn’t lie to him about it. She wouldn’t be crying if it wasn’t true, “W-who all knows?” Izuku questioned, his voice cracking.
“No one. I haven’t told anyone yet.”
“Don’t. I… don’t tell anyone please.”
“Midoriya,” The woman started.
“Please,” he begged, “I… I need some time.”
“I cannot inform anyone without your permission dear, but… please don’t keep this to yourself, you need to tell someone.”
“I promise, I just…” he trailed off, unable to finish his sentence. I just need some time to process the fact that I’m going to die soon. He felt numb. Was he really dying? Were his coughs really a symptom of this lung cancer?
“Midoriya, you are free to go, but… when you are ready we need to discuss things you can do to help prolong your life. There is only one thing I have to tell you now.”
“What is it?” He asked hesitantly.
“Using your quirk… it will speed up the process, so please… please don’t use One For All.”
Izuku sucked in a sharp breath, feeling as if he had been punched in the gut. He… he was dying, and he couldn’t even use his quirk. He really was useless. He didn’t say anything, he just rushed out of the room. Running away from Recovery Girl’s sorrowful gaze.
He went to the train station and went home, his mind empty of everything, he couldn’t even begin to think about what he was just told.
Arriving, his mom greeted him with a large smile and katsudon, congratulating him for how well he did at the sports festival. He smiled back, though he just felt empty. Had he really just been participating in the sports festival earlier today?
Why did it seem so long ago?
His mom kept switching between congratulating him, and making him promise to not break any more bones like that. That seeing him so hurt had made her worry so much.
Izuku felt like he was suffocating, because here his mom was worrying about him breaking his bones when he sat here, dying. How could he ever tell her that he was dying? That in less than a year he wouldn’t be around. He knew that if he told her she would worry and fret over him, she might even pull him out of U.A. to spend more time with him.
She would cry, knowing that he was dying. Izuku couldn’t bear to see her cry, he wanted her to be smiling and happy. No. There was no way he could tell his mom. Perhaps it was selfish of him, not wanting to tell her what was going on just to see her smile.
After all, he knew she would cry when he died, that he was just putting off her inevitable pain. He would have to make sure she knew just how much he loved her, had he told her that recently?
“Mom?” He started as they cleaned up the dishes.
“Yes sweetie?”
“I love you.”
“I love you too Izu-kun,” She responded with a large grin and gave him a hug.
He hugged her back tightly, not wanting to let go. How many more times would he be able to hug his mom? How many more times would she cook him katsudon? Izuku wanted to cry, because it wasn’t fair to his mom, why would she have to lose him?
Izuku had never cared much for his own life, had never given up because he knew it would hurt his mom. But it turns out it was for nothing, that he was going to die anyway.
Life really was cruel.
Monday morning, and he was arriving at U.A. a half hour before the homeroom bell rang so he could talk with Recovery Girl. He… he knew he was going to die, and figured that there was no way to cure it. Which meant… Izuku only had a few short months to finish everything he wanted to do in life. He had to plan accordingly.
But, to do that he needed to know all the information. He went into the nurses wing, and knocked on her door. She opened it and let him in, her eyes downcast. He sat down in a chair across from her as she took a seat behind her desk.
He pulled out a notebook, this one simply labeled, ‘For my future.’ As she told him about the disease he wrote it down. Wrote everything he would probably experience, how the disease worked.
It was enlightening, if depressing. To know that there was a whole list of physical symptoms he may experience. Besides coughing and pain, he could also get fatigue, anorexia, cachexia, nausea, vomiting, constipation, delirium and dyspnea. That wasn’t to say he would get all of them, but he was likely to experience at least some of it.
Recovery asked him who he planned to tell, and Izuku didn’t want to tell anyone, but… there was one person he had to tell. After all he couldn’t die with one for all. He had to give it back, had to tell All Might he needed a new successor.
How would All Might react, knowing that Izuku, who he entrusted, had failed? He had failed All Might, and there was nothing he could do about it. “After school, can… can you set up a meeting with All Might?” He asked her.
She nodded, “Here dear, in case you run late to class.”
He took the pass and started walking to class, stopping at the bathroom to wipe the tears off his face.
All Might should have never chosen him to be his successor. Izuku really was an idiot, thinking he could become a hero, he should have known that he would fail. It was frustrating, to get so close, but to fail to reach the finish line. He was at U.A. his dream school. He had made friends for the first time.
Oh… what was he supposed to tell Uraraka and Iida? There was no way he could tell them, they should have the chance to have a real friend, someone who will live with them and not die.
He needed to distance himself from them. That way his death wouldn’t hurt them as much. Sure they would probably be a bit sad for losing a classmate, but not devastated about losing a close friend.
Anything he could do to lessen the misery he would bring on his classmates, he would do. Perhaps he should quit U.A.? No, he couldn't, a part of him still desperately wanted to be a hero, to help people. And if he did quit, his mom would know something was wrong. Quitting wasn’t an option.
He arrived in class a minute after the bell rang. He handed the note to Aizawa-sensei, who looked disgruntled about the interruption to what he was saying.
Izuku went to his seat, listening as Aizawa informed them that they were to pick hero names, and would soon be doing internships.
He listened as his fellow classmates went up, picking out hero names. Just what was he supposed to call himself? After all he wasn’t ever going to be a hero. He was useless, just like Kaachan had told him.
Kaachan.
Deku.
Like a lightbulb going off, Izuku realized what name he would be using. “Are you sure?” A classmate asked.
He smiled, and gave a lie about how it now meant something different to him, that he was going to own the name. The truth was, it was a warning, to let others know that he was useless, that they couldn’t rely on him.
That inevitably, he would fail them.
Just like he failed his mom and All Might. Izuku took a deep breath, trying to ignore his thoughts for the moment. Then the classes passed as normal, with everyone distracted by internships.
After the last bell rang, Izuku made his way to Recovery Girl’s office. It was time for his chat with All Might.
“Young Midoriya!” All Might greeted when Izuku arrived, sitting on a chair in his true form, “I understand you requested a meeting?”
He nodded, coughing a bit before he could get out his answer,“Y-yes.”
“Can I tell you one thing first, before you tell me your news?”
“Go ahead,” Izuku said, wanting to delay the moment he inevitably disappointed his mentor off for a moment longer.
He listened, with a sinking heart as All Might told him that he did have one offer for internships. All Might was even trembling at mentioning the guy.
“Anyways, that’s all I had to tell you, what did you want to tell me, my boy? And why ask through Recovery Girl, and not just a text?”
“I’m dying,” Izuku blurted out, not thinking of how to phrase it better.
All Might became as still as a statue, his eyes wide as he stared at him, “What?” The man asked in a barely there whisper.
“I have lung cancer. Recovery Girl says I have 4-7 months to live.”
“No…” All Might trailed off. His blue eyes wide in horror, “you… you can’t be dying.”
“I am, there is no cure. All Might… you need to take one for all back, find a new successor, since I can’t be your successor anymore.”
“But-” The hero started to protest.
“Please, I know you will find someone else worthy, you deserve a successor who will be able to help people. Even if I kept one for all I can’t use it, not without shortening the time where I can live.”
It took a few more minutes of back and forth before All Might reluctantly agreed, knowing that what Izuku said was for the best. With a pluck of his hair Izuku handed it back over.
Almost instantly he felt the warmth that he associated with One For All become a bit colder, and he knew all he had left was the leftovers, an emergency stockpile he could use if he really needed to.
But to use even that stockpile would shorten his own life, by how much, he didn’t know, but he did know that he would only use the quirk if it was to save someone else. “All Might, I ask that you not tell anyone, I don’t want them to worry needlessly.”
All Might stared at him with an unreadable expression for a moment before nodding, “I guess I can understand not wanting to inform anyone,” The man stated, his hand going towards his side. “I guess I need to talk with Gran Torino, tell him that things have changed and see if he still wants to take you. What do you plan on telling the teachers for why you’re not using your quirk during practice?”
“Just that I currently have a disease that will worsen when I use my quirk, Recovery Girl has already sent out an email informing Aizawa and a few other teachers who need to know.”
All Might nodded, “I’ll… I’ll talk to you tomorrow, let you know if Gran Torino is still willing to intern with you.”
With that All Might left, his steps hurried and Izuku thought the man looked like he was fleeing. Izuku wished he could run away from the situation, to just pretend everything was normal. He coughed again, automatically covering his mouth with his arm. But he couldn’t.
Not when Recovery Girl told him his symptoms would only get worse. But… at least he was able to return One For All.