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Everyone at school was quite contradictory according to Rui.
First, they would call him gay. Then right after that, they would call Kusanagi his girlfriend which was ever so slightly confusing. Kusanagi was a girl, at least to Rui’s knowledge, so how could he be both gay, and in love with Nene? Unless they were intending to call him bisexual, or anything under that umbrella, it simply couldn’t make sense. Of course, even when Rui tried explaining that to his peers, he was ridiculed even more. In Rui’s opinion, it wasn’t that abnormal to be a straight guy researching the full LGBTQ+ acronym and every sexualities meaning. Nene would try her best to ignore the teasing, and would be the opposite of Rui. She’d blush, which horrified him. Rui didn’t think Nene liked him in that way, or at least he prayed she didn’t. It wouldn’t affect their friendship in any way, and he would be good at ignoring it. He just couldn’t bring himself to reciprocate, in which he felt guilty for.
His first encounter was with a girl he had never spoken to before. She was just as shy as Nene, and was into similar things that Rui was. She admitted to sneakily watching him every day, and had grown to have a crush on him. Rui wasn’t too educated on how to handle the matter, and started blushing.
He hated the feeling of blushing. He hated the word blush, and how it felt on his tongue. Blushing always gave everyone the wrong ideas, and a sense of false hope. He didn’t mean to tell the girl he felt the same (which he didn’t.) It just so happened due to assumptions. Her face lit up, and she pulled him in for a kiss as Rui stared at her blankly.
He didn’t want his first kiss to be like that. It was his fault though, was it not?
He felt too guilty to respond, knowing that if he were in the situation, it would break him to know his own thoughts. He felt utterly disgusted. Not with her, or himself, but just disgusted with the heat of the moment. It wasn’t kissing itself, it was just the circumstances under the kiss.
He lied and said his mom expected him home, and ran out of school. He was supposed to meet up with Wonderlands X Showtime, but completely forgot. After that, Rui didn’t attend school for a whole week, in fear of seeing her again. He wasn’t scared of her, as it was innocent, he was more scared of how she would react.
This was when Rui first started questioning his sexuality.
It was 3 months ago, and she’d since moved schools so he had no worries. He’d nearly forgotten about the hundreds of “Am I Gay” quizzes he had taken after that, and resorted back to believing he was a straight guy. Had he ever been interested in a girl? No. But then again, he wasn’t really interested in anyone.
Or so he thought.
Wonderlands X Showtimes was practicing (as normal) and nothing was apparently different. The backstage of the Wonder Stage was oddly hot at this time, which was reasonable as it’s the middle of July. Emu, Nene, and Tsukasa were all there, practicing a scene while Rui sat on a stack of boxes.
”Aaaagh! It’s too hot in here! I’m going to burn!” Tsukasa yelped in his eccentric and loud voice.
”Fufufu… fitting for a star like you to burn, correct, Tsukusa-kun?”
Rui and Tsukasa’s friendship consisted of teasing and petnames, which both have grown accustomed to. It was their thing, and suitable for both’s contrasting personalities.
”No, Rui! I’m going to burn to death! What shall I do, oh no!” Tsukasa continued whining dramatically.
When Rui opened his mouth, he was suddenly cut off by Tsukasa ripping his own shirt off due to the heat. It was almost as if he forgot there were others in the room, but since when had the star ever so paid attention to what he was doing? Emu and Nene didn’t seem to care, how come Rui was the only one getting caught up by this?
Rui felt his eyes glued to Tsukasa’s chest. Tsukasa didn’t really have muscles, but small abs showed from the amount of physical action he gets by dancing around on the Wonder Stage. He felt Nene walk up to him and say something, but he seemed to drown her out with his inner thoughts.
”Uh, hello? Rui? Are you gonna answer me?” Nene said with a confused and blank tone.
”Oh! Uh. Yes. Yeah. My answer. Yes,” Rui blurted out nervously, without even knowing what he said yes to. The question could not even be a yes or a no ordeal.
Nene snickered, “I knew you’d say that! You’re so lost in your own world right now. Emu and I will be sending you vegetables all day, now, since you technically consented.”
Rui didn’t even pay attention to her remarks. He was entranced by Tsukasa’s beauty.
While he was lost in his own thoughts, Emu suddenly jumped on his lap. This was also normal for Rui and Emu, completely platonic. Even without saying it, she made it very clear that she was into girls and was a lesbian.
“Ruiii! Why are you staring at Tsukasa! Nene-chan is trying to talk to you, while you’re blushing at his very small abs! Let’s go have fun, Rui! And-“
Rui started to panic because of how loudly Emu was screaming this, and slapped his hand over her mouth so she’d stop talking while she still was perched on Rui’s lap. Rui refused to look up, because he knew Tsukasa’s eyes were burning into him and judging him.
”I have to go, now. Goodbye,” Rui rushed out.
He helped Emu off his lap, and quickly scurried away to his own home.
He ran as fast as he could, his legs almost moving as quickly as his brains were.
Why the hell was I staring at Tsukasa?
Things started to make sense to Rui, but he really didn’t want to admit it.
Tsukasa was really pretty, though.
Maybe he did like Tsukasa.
His sudden crush on Tsukasa wasn’t something that he wished to deny, or to not have, really. He didn’t feel bad about the possession of a crush, but more about Tsukasa hating him. He already knew Tsukasa was oblivious as it is, but after all, who the hell just stares at their best friend’s chest?
As long as Tsukasa chose not to acknowledge it, he should be fine.
His mind stopped moving so rapidly, and he calmly walked back to his room in his mother’s garage. Rui leaned his back against his bed’s headboard and calmly closed his eyes, not realizing he didn’t even close the garage door.
”RUI KAMISHIRO!”
Aha… of course Tsukasa had to be here.
Rui prayed Tsukasa was wearing clothes.
Rui didn’t want to look Tsukasa in the eyes out of shame, and kept his eyes glued to his highly astonishing kneecaps.
Tsukasa pounced on top of Rui’s legs and also stared at Rui’s fabulous knees.
”What’re you doing?” Tsukasa asked, pretending to not know why he was doing this.
”Sulking in my everlasting guilt, Tsukasa-kun.”
It felt wrong to call him that.
“Stop being embarrassed, Rui. I really don’t care, it was kinda funny. Plus, IkindanoticedthewholetimeevenbeforeEmu-“
Oh.?
”And maybe I was doing some striking poses on purpose. So you would look. Because when Nene talks to you I get jealous. Because of everything people say about you and her. Because I like you. A lot. And I really don’t want you to like Nene instead of me. Which is why I did that. And I think maybe you like me. Because um. Yeah. So if you’d just tell me, that’d be really nice, yeah?” Tsukasa spoke in choppy, incomplete sentences which conveyed his nervousness.
Once again, just like before, but not really like before because this time he actually shared mutual feelings, he didn’t know what to say. So instead, he did the most awkward thing possible. Rui started giggling like a maniac. He looked completely insane, but he couldn’t compose himself. In order to ground himself, he dove right into Tsukasa’s now clothed chest. assuming that was okay because Tsukasa liked him too, was it not? He clutched onto Tsukasa’s baggy hoodie as he continued to fucking die of laughter right there.
Tsukasa soon started laughing too, holding Rui’s head to his chest, not wanting him to stop. Rui was his now. Not Nene’s. His. This moment finally confirmed it.
Tsukasa pressed his lips to Rui’s forehead while he cradled him softly. The giggling had now stopped, and both the boys sat comfortably in Rui’s bed.
”Kissing is quite fun, Tsukasa-kun. May we do it again?”
Tsukasa pressed more kisses to Rui’s lips while playing with his hair. Tsukasa used his right hand to twirl Rui’s hair around, and his other hand to rub circles in his back. Rui just stuffed his face into Tsukasa lovingly, savoring every moment of it. Rui hoisted himself up more, so their torsos were aligned and his face could press directly up to Tsukasa’s. Rui continued to kiss Tsukasa over and over again, while Tsukasa blushed madly. Tsukasa couldn’t bare to be the one getting the affection when Rui was the one who deserved it, so he pushed Rui’s face away and smashed his lips into his again, holding both of Rui’s hands.
Rui just might have gotten over his fear of blushing. It looked quite cute on Tsukasa-kun anyways.