Archive of Our Own ^beta

Australia was rough, to say the least. Trixie reveled in the chance to sit back and relax for over a month, before they hit the road to Radio City Music Hall. It blew his mind to think about, a sold-out show in one of New York's most storied venues. His heart fluttered every time he thought about how far both of them had come together; he would tamp down every thought that was too heavy, unwilling to get sucked into the emotional spiral. 

The motel was one such other emotional spiral, but for an entirely different reason. Every phone call with David focused solely on the Motel, from booking concerns, to last little things David thought to fix, even though the launch party was over and they had gone well over budget. They didn't connect or check in otherwise, just business phone calls and little else. Brian was feeling the burnout. So when the Australia leg of the tour finally ended, he was happy to get back on a plane and come home for a much needed reconnection.

Except David was at the hotel when his plane landed, not even home for a half-hearted reunion.

Trixie tried not to let it bother him. He was really hoping he would be home, desperate to see him, needing to feel close to him, when all he had felt lately was distance. For too long, he had felt the emptiness in their relationship, but work kept them apart, and the communication during their separations was less and less. The motel was great for a while, but the beginning shine of a remodel was soon marred by licenses, permits, money, and stress. He missed when things were easier.

At least he had a different constant in his life that he could actually count on: a lunatic in a mop of blonde hair and perfect red lipstick. He still couldn't believe how much their relationship had changed, how much Katya had changed, growing into a full-fledged confidant in the more difficult times. It was a far cry from the struggling addict from several years ago, and Trixie lived in the newfound comfort. Cherished the time they had together. Even if it was terrifying, Katya made him happy.

The first few days back saw him with Katya, going for a swim or catching a quick meal during the day. By the time David finally came back to LA, Trixie had settled into a rhythm of work, exercise, and had set his sights on his newest project: the house. His reunion with David was frenzied and short, the queen glad for the stress relief but even then, conversation between them was stilted or focused only on the business. David had only asked about the tour once, but Trixie was fine with not having to talk about it; it was stressful at the start, anyway. The few days they spent together before David was flitting off again were trivial at best, his real focus set on new paint colors and designs. It was like remodeling the motel, without all the stress, and he would get to live there. He was ecstatic.

He called Brandon in the middle of a Tuesday afternoon.

"Hey, bitch, come pick me up. I want to go look at paint colors."

Brandon only laughed and immediately agreed, the assistant pulling up outside Trixie's condo within fifteen minutes, ready to whisk him away to the hardware store. They perused paint for what felt like hours, throwing all kinds of ideas out as they spit-balled together, Trixie several times wondering if he should consult Dani like he had been doing for the last several months.

No, he decided. This was his home and he wanted it to look how he wanted, someone else's opinions meaningless on the matter. So the pair judged shades of pink, Trixie picking out a nice pastel color for the living area, a dark, dusty rose for his office, and a more vibrant shade for the studio space. He wandered down the rainbow of colors, the other rooms flitting across his mind. Blue for a bathroom, perhaps? Yellow for the kitchen? He instead opted to focus on those first three rooms for now, the others less important. But he stopped a moment in front of the wall of swatches, his lips pursed as he wondered about the bedroom. That one was important.

He was more than a little shocked to find himself thumbing through shades of red, his face flushing for a brief moment at the thought. He ignored the thought for a moment before he and Brandon were queueing up at the paint counter to get all the supplies, his eyes tracking back to the swatch wall. It wasn't until they were loading up the back of Brandon's car that the thought invaded him again.

Katya loved red.

Trixie shoved the thought away, not emotionally strong enough to wonder why he considered painting his bedroom the color his best friend basically lived in.

Brandon was an absolute saint about unloading the supplies from the car as Trixie wandered around the empty home, the queen breathing in a deep, contented breath as he walked the halls. He had already pictured what the space would look like, how the studio would function, where the drag room would be, how his office would be set up. He traced his fingers along the bare walls, a sweet smile gracing his face at the thought. Brandon ambled into the hall just then, breaking him for his thoughts.

"Everything is in, were you going to start today? You have a gig tonight."

Trixie breathed out a short laugh, "Uh, NO, I need to go get in drag. Let's get the fuck out of here, Beverly."

Brandon laughed and presented the way with a flourish, following Trixie outside with a humored chuckle. Trixie climbed into the passenger seat and looked back toward the house.

I want to start tomorrow, though.

How he had been up, went for a jog, eaten, showered, and managed to be at the house before 8AM was honestly a miracle. Brandon was committed to setting up shop to help the other man paint, but was instead thrown out with the most affectionate exasperation, under the guise of Trixie instead needing some alone time for himself. It would just be him, the sun, and the paint supplies. 

He set up in the office first, drop clothes being taped down to protect the floors above all else. Nic and Jenson had supplied him with a plethora of paint knowledge from their time at the motel, and Trixie felt more than equipped to handle the project on his own. He had already been doing this very task for the last five months, the only difference was that three million dollars wasn't riding on his shoulders. So instead, he got out his brushes and rollers, his pans and his tape, his ladder and paint, and selected one of his country women playlists, and got down to work. 

He got so far as cutting in the ceiling before he sighed, the room too still and too quiet, despite the music. The motel was different- he had friends around, and people to talk to. This was lonely.

Stepping down off his ladder, he placed the supplies down and wiped the pink paint on his pants before sitting unceremoniously on the floor. He grabbed his phone off the charger and swiped at the screen, a few messages and emails dotting the top part of his screen. Easily ignoring them, he instead opened up his contacts, selected his victim, and hit the video call button.

The phone rang several times before a very familiar, very sweaty face, answered the call.

"Hello, Mother."

Trixie tossed her head back and cackled before looking back at the screen, "Bitch, what the fuck is wrong with your face?"

Jason popped his head into frame, his smile dazzling in the LA sun, "Hi, Brian!"

Trixie chuckled and rolled his eyes. Made sense, "Wimberly, are you killing Katya again?"

Katya groaned into the screen before pulling his shirt up and wiping the sweat off his brow, "This whore is a fucking sadistic cunt."

Jason only laughed before disappearing from view, leaving Trixie to laugh at him in peace.

"You look good, bitch, enjoying the workout?"

Katya flopped down on the grass, his eyes so blue in the bright sun, "Oh yeah, I love getting pummeled for two straight hours. What's up, mama?"

Trixie shuffled to lean back against her still bare walls, "I wanted to see what you were doing, see if I can coerce you into providing me with free manual labor."

Katya wheezed out a laugh, "Do you know who you're talking to? I don't do." 

They shared a series of obnoxious scream-laughs for a moment, Trixie shaking as he held his phone.

"I don't know what the fuck I was thinking. You should come keep me company, though."

Katya smiled before wiping more sweat from his flushed face, "Where are you?"

"At the new house. I was painting."

Katya shook her head, wheezing out another witch cackle, "Bitch, can't you just sit fucking still for one day?"

Trixie pinned him with a knowing look, eyebrows raised in amusement.

His face softened a moment before he was nodding, "Okay, Mary. If Jason doesn't kill me, I'll come over and sweat all over your floor."

Trixie smiled then, a warmth flooding into every corner of his being. 

He hadn't expected him to agree.

Katya managed to get back to his place in one piece, and after three cigarettes and a quick shower, he piled into his new SUV and headed over to Trixie's new house, a route he started to know rather well. He had been to the home on several occasions already, the outside sitting area one of his favorite places to be. And the pod they had already recorded there was as unhinged as the others, the energy in the space virtually immaculate. Trixie's new home was honestly amazing, and he was already comfortable there. He imagined they would be spending more time there regardless, with the pod usually filmed at Trixie's, and the other random projects Katya found himself a part of these days.

He rolled up into the driveway and slid out, stashing his pack of cigarettes into the back pocket of an old pair of black shorts, before knocking on the heavy front door. A few moments later had Trixie opening the door with a flourish, an infectious smile wide across his face before he broke out into laughter.

"The shirt, really?"

Katya looked down at the shirt he wore, an old white Trixie shirt from several years prior. He shrugged, shit-eating grin ever present, "I didn't want to wear an important shirt in case I got paint on it."

Trixie screamed out a bird laugh before pivoting, motioning for Katya to come inside.

"I fucking hate you."

With a dramatic wink, Katya disappeared inside, waiting for Trixie to lock up before following him into the room where they would be working. Katya nodded as he crested the threshold, the vibrant pink not at all a shock anymore. He glanced around, noticing the top and bottom edges of the walls were already painted. 

He turned, "Looks like you've been busy, what do you even need me for?"

Trixie breezed past him and bent to pick up a paint roller, "I told you you could just come visit, I wasn't expecting you to actually help."

"Well," he removed his hat and tossed it into the hallway before joining Trixie in the center of the room, holding his hand out for the roller, "I am, so hand it over."

Trixie couldn't hide his smile as he handed it over, watching as Katya stooped to dip the roller before laying paint on the far wall. Trixie kept the same grin as he headed to his phone and picked a new playlist to start: Training Montage, the rivalry moment. He watched Katya paint for a moment, surprised at the eagerness in which the other queen seemed to work, a glowing smile firmly planted on his face. Grabbing another roller, he dipped in and got into the work, The Winner Takes it All blaring in the background.

A few hours, and several smoke breaks later, found them lying in the middle of a fully painted room, the sun highlighting the soft pink of the walls. Trixie exhaled and stretched his arms above his head before turning to glance at his friend.

"This went a lot faster with you here, thanks for helping out today, whore."

Katya merely hummed, his crossed fingers drumming against his stomach as he looked around them.

"It was fun, but Mama, this color."

Trixie rolled his eyes and brought his hand down to swat Brian's side.

"Shut up, chevron curtains."

They collapsed into more laughter before Trixie was eventually rolling to her feet and stretching, offering her hand down to help the other man up.

"How's the hip, grandma?"

Katya groaned and took the offered of hand, allowing Trixie to do most of the heavy lifting to get him up on his feet; he shook off the discomfort in his leg.

"Sore, but Wimberqueer is helping me with strengthening exercises to give me a good foundation for when I get surgery."

Trixie winced and squeezed the hand he still held, hoping to offer support.

"Are you worried?"

He shook his head, squeezing Trixie back before releasing their hands, "Not really, my job is usually sitting down in a wig, so it should be fine. You ready to get out of this hell hole?"

Trixie chuckled and nodded, "Yeah. Can you give me a ride back home?"

Katya cackled as he left the room and headed toward the front, pointedly ignoring the question. Trixie checked the room, making sure the paint was sealed and the brushes put away for another day. Turning off the lights as he went, he headed out the front door, turning to lock it, relieved to see the black SUV still parked in the driveway. He climbed in, pinning the other man with a pointed scowl.

"I thought you were straight up going to leave me here, you bitch."

He only wheezed out another laugh before throwing it in reverse and carefully headed back toward home, dropping Trixie off before disappearing into the setting sun. Trix kicked the door open to her condo and removed her shoes, sore from a full day of hard work. But it had gone by seamlessly, Brian an actual whiz with a paint brush, despite her numerous breaks for a smoke. He wondered if he could trick Katya into helping him paint the other rooms as well.

Flopping down on his couch, he flipped through the dozens of notifications that ranged from innocuous texts from Brandon, to work emails, to a single text message from David.

Had a water pipe burst in the street, no water to the motel right now. Everything else is fine.

Trixie sighed bitterly, sent a thumbs up emoji, and tossed her phone onto the couch beside her. He thought about texting Katya again, despite them having spent the whole day together, just to get out of the house. But he was sure the other queen would ghost him, and driving back out this way was basically a guaranteed no. Besides, they had a full day of UNHhhh tomorrow, seeing him again tonight wasn't necessary.

He couldn't wait.

Filming had gone well, the show somehow the easiest thing he had on his plate. Their banter was more electric than normal, the laughs looser and the affection between them more apparent. The tour had done wonders for their relationship, no matter how often Trixie tried to play it off as a joke. Even if everything else in his life was upside down, or stressful, or too much, he always had Katya. He just would never admit to it out loud.

As they were heading down the hall toward their dressing rooms, Trixie reached out to brush her hand along Kat's shoulder, smiling automatically when the other queen turned to face her.

"I know how much you hate being in drag, but I have a DJ gig tonight in Hollywood, do you want to come hang out?"

Katya twisted her lips in thought and shifted all her weight to her good hip.

"Does it have to be in drag?"

Trixie tried to fight off the smug grin he could feel coming on, "No, but I could get you paid if you showed up and crashed the party."

She shook her head, clearly bemused, "Mama, you know money is not a motivator for me."

"No, but people would lose their fucking minds if Katya showed up at the gig."

"Maybe I'll come, but I don't know if it'll be in drag."

That was good enough. Trixie headed into the dressing room to touch up her makeup, before Brandon packed everything up and they headed outside to the employee parking lot. Katya had driven; Trixie could get used to it. Katya showed up a few seconds later, still in drag, but in her slides, bright red lips turned up in an impish smile. She gestured at Trixie and unlocked the car, the inside illuminating the darkened exterior as the LA sun was almost gone for the day. Trixie almost couldn't believe it. She had no idea who this agreeable Katya was, but she was going to drink it in as long as she could.

To say the gig was absolute fire was an understatement. With Trixie on the decks and the other queens in the show, it was an absolutely phenomenal treat. And Katya, not even advertised, not even scheduled, was easily accepted by the girls, and she tore the roof off the building with her finale performance. Trixie was bulldozed by emotion while in the booth, so proud of her friend it nearly brought her to her knees. Watching Katya perform was a treat he secretly adored, and he wasn't sure he would ever tire of seeing that smile under blazing stage lights.

Backstage, after everyone had either gone home for the night or were still getting out of drag, Trixie met up with him and reached out, grasping his hands.

"Bitch, tell me you didn't have a fucking blast tonight. Everyone found snatched and plucked to actual death."

Katya threw her head back and laughed, squeezing Trixie's hands with equal amounts of enthusiasm.

"No, no, it was fun, I absolutely had a lot of fun. I'm glad Eden talked me into it."

Trixie nodded, her eyes tracking over to where Eden was gathering the rest of Katya's drag, "I owe that lesbian big time."

They packed up and left, Brandon driving the SUV to give Brian time to relax, his hip still sore from having been active all day. Once Brandon dropped Eden and got to his home, they switched, Katya driving the short way back to Trixie's, pulling up at the curb just shy of 2AM. Katya turned to look at him.

"Do you need help with your shit, Mary?"

Trixie couldn't control the scream that escaped her, "NO! Oh my fucking god, grandpa, I got it."

They shared another uproarious laugh before Katya unlocked the doors and released the trunk door.

"Okay, good, because I was not about to help you."

Trixie rolled her eyes and unbuckled her belt, reaching to open the door before pausing a moment. She glanced over her shoulder at him.

"Thanks for coming, that was honestly so fun. You should do more gigs, while you can still walk."

She curled her lip in disagreement, "We'll see about that, Barbara."

Trixie shook his head in amusement and opened the door, stopping one more time to look at the other man.

"Do you want to help me paint again tomorrow? I was thinking about starting the studio, now that the office is done."

Katya leaned back against her seat, blue eyes gray in the low light as he nodded gently, small smile gracing his face, "Okay."

Trixie smiled then and finally turned, fully exiting the car before heading back around to get his things from the trunk. He walked around to the driver side and stopped as Katya rolled down the window.

"Thanks for the lift. Four stars though, your choice in music is questionable."

Katya witch cackled, reaching out to grip Trixie's arm, "Rotten! Bitch, you are GUTTED. Fucking pay me next time and maybe I'll change it for you."

And there they were, laughing like crazy people at two in the morning, before Trixie finally bid her goodnight and headed inside, throwing her drag by the front door, and went to immediately shower and throw himself into bed. He got a text from Katya twenty minutes later, the other man posing with a taxidermy dog, a way of letting Trixie know he got home safe. Trixie saved the photo to her phone and rolled over, mindlessly scrolling through socials and tags from tonight's performance.

He went to bed grinning like an idiot.

Between gigs, Trixie and Katya somehow always found themselves back at the house, the two of them tearing through the paint projects like seasoned professionals. Brandon had taken Trixie back to the color wall, and she had picked out a brilliant shade of yellow for the kitchen, a pastel blue for one of the bathrooms, and a coral pink for a spare bedroom. Trixie again stood before the reds while his paint was busy being mixed, his eyes scanning the many different shades. He was drawn to a darker red, almost blood in color, and he couldn't explain the reason behind it. No matter what colors he looked at during his visits, he always came back to red. He remembered the deep colors in the Queen of Hearts room, and the red used in the accents. Maybe that was why he was so drawn to it. On a pure whim, he snatched the red from the wall and headed back to the counter, presenting the color to the worker.

"This one, too, please."

Brandon raised his brows in clear surprise but didn't chase the conversation- Trixie was glad. They brought the new haul to the house, Katya's SUV already parked in the driveway. Trixie broke into a wide smile and scurried out of Brandon's car and rounded on Katya's, waving as the other queen turned off the ignition and stepped out. Trixie almost hugged him.

"What are you doing here so early?"

Katya smiled in humored confusion, "Whore, you told me eleven."

Trixie glanced down at her watch. 11:10 AM. She smirked.

"Oops."

Katya shook her head and turned toward Brandon, opening his hands to accept one of the bags. The men unloaded quickly, Brandon more than happy to parade-wave his way out of the house, leaving the pair to their newly begotten routine. Katya rolled her neck and stretched, stealing a look at Trixie.

"Where are we starting today?"

They settled in the kitchen, Katya's bluetooth speaker currently pumping out a random medley of songs while they joked their way across the walls, sometimes laughing too hard to even concentrate on the task at hand. At one point, Trixie was almost doubled over in laughter, the roller haphazardly waving through the air. They ordered pizza for lunch and ate out on the patio, tucked right up against Katya's now devoted smoking spot, the warm breeze a nice change from the frigid temperature in the house. There was barely anything in the fridge, except a case of Red Bull, a case of water, and a pack of Coke cans that Katya had already torn halfway through during their week-long painting spree.

It was peaceful here, Trixie frequently thought. There was no deadline to get the house ready, no permits he needed, no workers crawling all over the property. Just two men goofing off and painting an empty house, fucking around on breaks, and posting the dumbest videos of each other. Trixie had started filming after the first day, one for posterity, two for the channel. A Get-Ready-With-Me, house edition, she knew the fans would fall all over for. Especially with frequent guest Katya. It was just them, and Trixie cherished it.

They found themselves downing an entire pizza and still sitting outside on the wicker love seat, enjoying the tranquility around them. Trixie swung her head around and studied Katya a moment, sapphire eyes lifting to give a questioning look in return. Trixie squinted.

"You really do smell good. I like the new cologne a lot."

Katya laughed, "Oh, thanks, Tracy. Better than the Oud Wood?"

Trixie mulled it over for a moment, focusing on the new smell, "I don't know. I like them both, but for different reasons."

"At least I don't smell like shit."

"Today."

They shared another laughing fit before Trixie stood up and headed back inside, the kitchen mostly finished, save for a final coat. He let Katya go high, trying to keep in mind that her friend absolutely had a bum hip, and couldn't be too low for too long. The music resumed, and they went back to work, conversation passing easily between them. It was easy, and perfect, until a familiar voice broke through the music.

"Hello?"

Two heads snapped up, focusing on David standing at the threshold, a bag hanging loosely in his hand.

"The front door was unlocked."

Trixie froze, his eyes darting toward Katya as she moved to shut off the speaker, face set in a careful neutral as she nodded her head to the new arrival.

Trixie laughed nervously, "Hey, babe, I didn't know you were coming back today."

Katya bared her teeth in a perfectly civil smile as she headed toward the backyard.

"David."

The man in question merely forced a small smile and a head nod as Katya slid out the back door, eyes barely catching Trixie's as she closed the door and disappeared from view.

David cleared his throat and glanced around, taking in the work.

"That's definitely yellow."

Trixie jolted back to life in that instant, springing into action as he dropped his roller in the pan and moved to greet him, "Hey, welcome back."

He wrapped him in a quick hug and dropped a peck to his lips, "Do you really like the color?"

David returned the hug with his one free arm and nodded, glancing around the mostly-finished room.

"I mean, it's REALLY bright. But it matches with the sun, I guess. This room gets a lot of light."

Trixie nodded, "Yeah, I liked the glow. I can show you the other rooms, too."

His eyebrows raised in surprise, "Oh, other rooms are done, too?"

Trixie nodded and headed toward the others, moving to gently grasp David's hand as he led them. 

"Yeah, we painted the office, the studio, a spare bedroom, and one of the bathrooms already."

David blinked, clearly in shock, "I didn't realize you'd be moving so quickly."

Trixie shrugged as she pushed open the door to the office, "Why wait? I'm not home very long before we go back out on tour, I wanted to get as much done as I could. Brian just agreed to help."

He moved him through the finished rooms, David content with each, though he was mostly quiet. He made an off-hand comment on the color of the bathroom, but said little else. Trixie headed toward the master bedroom, more paint supplies in the center of the room. David hummed as he looked at the prepped room.

"Oh. Did you pick a color for this room already, too?"

Trixie toed the floor with his paint-splattered shoe, "Yeah."

"Well, what's the color?"

Trixie gestured to the paint cans in the center of the room, his partner going over to study the swatch of paint on the lid. There was heavy silence for a moment.

"Red."

Trixie nodded. David pressed his lips together in a small smile and only shrugged, returning to Trixie to press a kiss to his cheek.

"I'll let you get back to it, then. Dinner tonight?"

Trixie meekly nodded, earning a smile from David, "Of course. Come over tonight."

David squeezed his forearm and headed back down the hall just as quietly as he'd come, leaving Trixie in the threshold of the master bedroom in a worse mood than he'd been found. He headed back toward the kitchen and out the back door, finding Katya seated in her spot, legs crossed, half-burnt cigarette in one hand. Trixie flopped down beside him and sighed heavily.

"He's gone, you know."

Katya took a drag off her cigarette and waited, enjoying the burn before he released the smoke into the atmosphere.

"Everything okay?"

"Yeah, I was showing him the work we've already done."

Katya simply nodded and took another drag. Trixie sighed heavily and rubbed her hands down her face.

"I remember when the two of you used to be really good friends," he ventured quietly, hands absently fidgeting in his lap.

Katya frowned, guilt creasing her eyebrows. She snuffed out her cigarette and turned to face Trixie, waiting for the other man to meet his eye.

"Bri, I'm sorry."

Trixie swallowed, emotion tickling her throat, "Don't be. It's not your fault."

"I could try harder."

He shook her head and reached her hand up to tightly grip his forearm, thumb brushing along one of Brian's tattoos, "No, you do enough. Can we just finish the kitchen and then go home?"

Katya hummed in agreement and stood, gently pulling Trixie along behind her. They took up the rollers again, the music more muted this time as they finished the final touches and cleaned up in a well-practiced way, having already fallen into a routine in the last few sessions. Trixie stood in the middle of her kitchen, eyes scanning the walls, when Katya walked up to stand beside her.

"What's up, Tracy?"

Trixie frowned and absently started chewing the edge of his thumb.

"David doesn't like it. He says it's too bright."

Katya glanced about, surveying the walls around them.

"Yeah, but that's the fucking point. The sun makes it glow."

Trixie turned to study the man beside him, melting a little under the familiar comfort.

"Literally what I said to David."

Katya met his gaze, smiling brightly, "I know you so well, you gargoyle."

Trixie screamed out a laugh at the absolute surprise insult, "Shut the fuck up, I'll kill you."

They laughed again, the earlier tension dissipating as they cleaned up the last few remnants and headed out the door. Trixie made sure to all the doors were locked before climbing into the SUV, and headed back to the condo. He knew David would already be there waiting for him, so he stole a few extra seconds in Katya's passenger seat instead.

"Thanks for your help this week, it's been a lot of fun."

"I wouldn't call it fun, I would call it mildly annoying."

Trixie snorted before looking at him, "Hopefully, we can finish before we go back out on tour."

Katya clicked her tongue and waved his fingers at him, "I'll send you my bill after project completion. You're gonna die, I'm not a cheap hooker anymore."

"High-class Russian whore, baby."

They laughed again before Trixie begrudgingly undid her seatbelt and sighed. 

"Thanks for the ride, 5 stars."

"Are you going to rate me every single time?"

"Four stars."

"Go fuck yourself."

With a shared, parting cackle, Trixie closed the car door and headed inside and up to the condo, preparing himself for the conversation waiting for him on the other side of the door.

Trixie pushed open the door to the condo, greeted by the kettle whistling on the stove. She found David puttering around the kitchen, fetching himself a cup of tea, unsure when Brian was due to come home. He turned, smiling at the new arrival.

"Hey, you."

Trixie smiled back, "Hey. How was the trip back? Why didn't you tell me you were coming back early?"

He shrugged as he stirred his mug, "I wanted it to be a surprise. I know you said you were doing some work at the house, I wanted to help. I didn't know you already had it."

Trixie bobbed her head in agreement as David left the kitchen to go sit on the couch, dropping his mug on a coaster.

"Yeah, I wasn't expecting Brian to actually help, I thought he'd have just come to keep me company for one day and that would be it."

David nodded, taking a small sip of the tea, before pinning Trixie with an accusatory look.

"How many times has he been over there since you came back?"

Trixie swallowed at the look, his skin itching under the scrutiny, "Uh, five, I think."

David nodded again and leaned back against the couch, dark eyes studying the other man.

"You know, I've been in that house twice. Total. Today was the second time."

He shifted uncomfortably, "How's that even possible?"

"I don't know, you tell me. But Brian's been over there more in one week than I have in total. He even has a designated smoking spot already, I see."

Trixie bristled, unsure where this conversation was heading, but not at all enjoying the implication.

"So? He was around and you weren't."

"He saw it before I did."

Brian rolled his eyes, "What's your point? I was excited when I closed, I wanted to show him. I don't know if you remember this, but we spend a lot of time together for work."

David shook his head and sat forward, "Not just for work, Brian."

He was rapidly losing patience, "He's my best fucking friend, I don't get why you're being like this. Am I not allowed to see my friends now?"

David stood then, face twisting in frustration.

"Because you're acting like you're moving in with him, not me."

"That's not-"

"Brian."

They faced off for a moment, the air around them thick with tension. David took off his cap and rubbed his head, eyes closed in frustration.

"Brian, you didn't even consult me about the colors-"

"It's my house, I shouldn't have to."

David's eyes flicked up to study him, mouth set in a flat line of displeasure.

"We're supposed to be living there together. Us. You and me. No part of me is even in that house, and yet-"

Trixie's eyes narrowed, "Is this about the red fucking paint?"

David deflated, his eyes searching his, "Why did you pick red? And for the bedroom of all places?"

Trixie faltered, mind racing a million miles a second. He remembered standing in the paint section of the store, his eyes still being drawn back to that particular color red, and the face that immediately flashed in his mind whenever he saw it. His entire existence pondered the color red just then, his world tilting on its axis. For so many years, he hated the color red. Never wanted to wear it. Never wanted it near him.

Not in drag. Not in life.

And then Katya happened.

And now red was everywhere. Red was in his lungs when he breathed, in his eyes when he blinked, on his lips every time he spoke. Red was tattooed on his skin, branded on his heart.

You wouldn't have pink if not for red.

He blinked back tears as he looked at David, the man he'd spent so many years with, went through so much heartache with, so much joy and happiness. But David... David wasn't red.

Brian was red.

He swallowed thickly and cleared his throat, "David."

The man sighed and broke then, sinking back down to the couch, his eyes glossy with tears as he looked right through to Brian.

"It's him, isn't it," he whispered, voice broken.

Trixie squeezed his eyes closed and nodded, forcing himself to look at him. He deserved that much.

David licked his lips and nodded, tearing his eyes away to look at the pink walls instead. He absently pushed his glasses up on his forehead and wiped the tears away. Trixie itched to move forward and comfort him, his heart breaking for man in front of him. But he kept his arms wrapped around himself instead, knowing that if he moved them, he wouldn't be together anymore himself. David sniffled, shouldering the weight of his heartache as he managed to glance back at Trixie.

"Brian... is there anything I can do? I don't- I don't want to lose you, I love you so much."

The tears broke free in earnest, his lashes doing nothing to quell the flow as he moved forward, sitting himself down on the sofa beside him.

"I don't think so. David, I'm so sorry," he added quietly, trying to reach out to comfort only for David to shrug off the attempt.

The other man stood and offered a sad smile, "I always... worried about Brian. I knew how much you loved him. I just... I always hoped you'd love me a little bit more, instead."

Trixie bit her lip, her emotions spilling out of every crevice of her being. This couldn't be it.

"David-"

He shook his head and tried his best to collect himself, "I'm just going to go. There's nothing for me here anymore."

Trixie stood and tried to reach out, his fingertips catching nothing but emptiness between them.

"Don't. This isn't, we aren't- We're not over, this is just-"

"Brian," he inhaled shakily, "It's over."

They held their gazes for a moment before David broke the spell, turning to head toward the front door instead, the door opening and closing in silence as the dust settled around Trixie. He collapsed on the couch, sobs wracking his body bent forward, face buried in his hands.

All he saw then was red.

He called Brandon at eleven that night, after he cried himself out on his couch, his chest empty of feeling. His assistant let himself in, concern written plainly across his face as he helped Trixie to his feet. He didn't say anything, a fact of which Trixie was grateful for. They headed down to the car in deafening silence, the radio barely a hum in the space between them, Brandon occasionally stealing glances to the queen whose head had been against the glass the entire car ride.

Brandon pulled into the driveway and cut the lights, turning his whole body toward the other man. Trixie ignored the concern, straightening in her seat to remove her seat belt and open the door. Brandon extended a hand in the darkness.

"Brian."

Trixie turned and ducked down to look back in the car, the interior light illuminating the bloodshot red eyes and long-dried tear streaks.

"You don't have to stick around, I don't know how long I'll be here."

"Are you all right?"

Trixie pressed out an uncomfortable smile, "Hey, girl, thanks for the ride," he finished weakly.

He slammed the door and headed toward the empty house, fumbling with the new keys before he was unlocking the door and stepping into pitch darkness. Fishing his phone out of his pocket, he turned on the light and turned, purposefully locking every lock before flicking on the entryway light. He headed down through the living areas, down the halls, and landed in the master bedroom. Turning on the overhead light, he immediately kicked off his shoes and his jacket, tossing them haphazardly into the hall as he set about making the room paint-ready. The drop cloth went down, the tarps, the tape, before he set the cans in the center and popped the lid off. He stared at the dark liquid, his heart skipping a beat at seeing the shade again, warmth attempting to move into the empty void currently still occupying his chest. 

He stirred it, mesmerized at the shifting color in the light as the fluid moved. This felt right.

He popped the lid back on, unscrewed the pour spout, and emptied it into the paint tray, the full color on display in the bright lights. 

Yes. 

This was perfect.

He stood, fishing the headphones out of his pocket before popping them in and pulled out his phone. His thumb perused his many options, instead focusing on a playlist Katya had made as a joke when he was randomly messing around on his phone one day; Trixie kept it anyway. It was all Russian pop songs, but Trixie couldn't bear to delete it. 

The opening bars of a LOBODA song started, the thick bass rattling through his skull in an absolutely perfect way, a small smile working its way onto his face.

He grabbed his ladder and set up shop, setting about cutting the walls in, loving the color the more it took over the white walls. He paused, White Rabbit suddenly crossing his mind. He called out to his phone and added his song to shuffle before getting back to work.

He loved a good metaphor.

Four hours later saw him sat in the center of the master bedroom, walls a vibrant red color. He leaned back on his hands, admiring his work and the color, the Russian songs still blaring in his headphones. It felt like a new chapter. 

Wrestling himself to his feet, he stretched before automatically cleaning up his mess, dropping the liners into a trash bag in the kitchen and ditching his paint rollers into the sink for another time. He glanced down at his watch, 2:53AM staring right up at him. He debated between dragging his poor assistant out of bed, or calling for an uber. The late night drivers were always characters, and he wasn't sure whether or not he wanted to brave such an encounter after the night he'd had. 

Brian could be awake, too, a small voice reminded him.

Considering the other man had a strict rule of never going to bed with his phone, it was basically pointless to even try. Still, he was poised over his name, finally deciding to bite the bullet. Whenever Katya checked her phone in the morning and saw a middle-of-the-night call from Trixie, she could play it off as a drunk dial. She would be none-the-wiser.

However, when a familiar voice answered half-way through the second ring, Trixie was at a total loss.

"Uh, hello."

Katya wheezed, "Hello, hi. Surprised?"

Trixie laid back against the floor, "Yeah, what the fuck are you doing answering your phone at three in the morning?"

"Why are you calling me at three in the morning?"

Trixie sighed heavily, eyes drifting closed. 

"I've had a rough night," he answered in a small voice, emotions still raw, still wounded.

"Mm, want to talk about it?"

Trixie sighed again but remained quiet, focusing instead on picturing what Katya could be doing awake in the middle of the night. Was he just up in bed? Was he working on a project, unable to sleep? Was he outside smoking a cigarette, a night terror having woken him?

Ignoring the question, Trixie felt herself relax into his voice.

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing much," a thump sounded along the line, almost like a door closing, "what are you up to, Barbara?"

"I'm back at the house, was painting the master."

There was more faint background noise as Katya was moving about on the other end of the call, intriguing Trixie even more. Her chest hurt, however, recalling how the night had gone. How everything with David seemed to finally fizzle out after months of chasing feelings and emotional burnout. Months of them always just missing the other. Months of drifting apart. His thoughts wandered to the motel. What were they going to do?

"You still with me, Trix?" Katya's voice cut into her downward spiral, a persistent hum now prevalent on the call.

"Yeah, I'm here."

"Start talking, bitch."

"I don't know what to say," emotion started to choke him again, his eyes burning with tears and exhaustion, "David and I are over, I think."

There was silence for a moment before Katya eventually came through.

"Oh, shit. Bri, I'm really sorry," he said softly, Trixie's heart breaking at the tenderness in the other man's voice.

Trixie started to drown in fervent tears, silent sobs vibrating his hollowed chest. His fingers trembled around the phone in his grip, his body shaking, wondering if the pain would ever leave him, or if he would carry it with him for eternity as punishment for ruining another relationship. The continuous hum on Katya's line eventually petered out as the other queen cleared her throat to speak.

"Trix, I know it's hard. But I'm here. Okay? I'm here."

Brian inhaled a shuddering breath, "I wish you were."

"Mary, I'm actually here. Come let me in before I get kidnapped off your porch."

Brian stared blankly up at the ceiling, unbelieving, "Are you fucking kidding me right now?"

"No, Bri, I'm here."

Trixie hauled himself up to his feet and stumbled out the door and down the hall, his heart suddenly pounding harder with each step closer to the door. He tripped up in his haste, his hands slamming against the inside of the front door as he caught himself, his phone falling to the floor with a loud clack. He fumbled with the locks, grateful that he was smart enough to leave the entryway light on. Finally unlocking the door, he ripped it open, revealing Katya standing perfectly still, forehead spidering with concern. Trixie blinked once, his eyes quickly searching the man in front of him, his heart squeezing in his chest.

"I know we don't really, but can I please have a hug?"

Katya snorted out a small laugh before he stepped over the threshold and pulled Trixie into his arms in the same motion, his foot kicking the door closed behind them. Trixie melted in the embrace, his tears renewing in ferocity. He sunk into him, the familiar smell of Oud wood permeating his senses as he relaxed further. He trusted Katya would support him, would catch him here, when he needed him most.

He was safe.

They were posted up, side by side out on the patio, snug together on the love seat. Trixie had detailed the downward spiral of her relationship to a patiently listening to Katya, the queen's thumb tracing Trixie's arm in silent support. Trixie was exhausted. 

"You know, I knew there was trouble before the motel. I didn't listen to it, though, thought maybe this could help us."

Katya sighed and shifted, stretching her arm out along the couch behind Trixie.

"There's no way of knowing what will happen, Brian. There's also no way of controlling how people's feelings change, or that sometimes people grow apart."

Trixie nodded, "I know. I know, you're right. I can't believe it's just... it's over now. Just like that."

Katya squeezed Trixie's shoulder, "Was he mad that I was here?" he asked quietly, knowing how unhappy David was when he showed up in the afternoon.

"This isn't your fault."

"That wasn't my question."

He closed his eyes and exhaled slowly, "He wasn't happy. He also wasn't happy that you were here so often this week, or that you saw the house before he did."

Silence ticked by a moment, Katya nervously drumming her fingers on her knee.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean-"

"This isn't your fault."

Katya bit his lip and looked away a moment before looking back, "I know. But if me being around-"

"That was his problem. You're literally one of my favorite people, I need you around."

He bristled at the sincerity, even after all this time. Instead of brushing off the comment, Katya kept his mouth shut and wrapped his arm tighter around Trixie, leaning them together for a moment of solidarity. The stillness around them was a comfort, almost a cocoon to protect them from the turmoil surrounding them. Trixie tucked himself tighter into Katya's side.

"Do you wanna see what really tipped the scales?"

He pulled back in confusion, Trixie refusing to meet his eyes as he stood, motioning for him to follow along. Wordlessly he did so, trailing behind Trixie as he walked them through the house, stopping just outside the open master bedroom door. Trixie peered back at him, eyes swimming with vulnerability.

"Just..." the words died on his lips instead, his eyes pleading with him for something he didn't understand. Trixie inhaled a courageous breath and entered the room, Katya taking a moment to try and piece together just what was going on. Coming up empty, he steeled his spine and walked the few steps into the room, his mouth falling open in shock. Trixie stood in the center of the room, arms wide open as if presenting the color for critique.

"Do you like it?"

Katya peered around the room, the red most certainly present, and not just a figment of his imagination.

"Mama, this room is red."

Trixie nodded, dropping her arms to her side.

"Yeah. You know, I went for paint and every time, it stuck out to me. I didn't really think on it at the time. Now... it makes total sense."

Katya turned to look at him, head tilted in confusion, "What are you going on about?"

Trixie swallowed the terror in her chest, her stomach in knots. Nothing about tonight made any sense, and yet everything about it did. Red felt right because Katya felt right. Red was Katya, and Katya was home. Brian was home.

 "Red makes sense because you make sense."

Katya's brows furrowed, blue eyes searching the emotional face of his best friend. His nerves were suddenly on fire.

"What.. do you mean, I make sense? Brian."

"I just. I see red and I see you. I just... I didn't know what that meant."

Panic flustered in his chest, the words sinking into him. Warning bells were going off, his inner self screaming at him to flee the scene, duck the feelings, and pretend nothing was going on. But one look in those honey-brown eyes had him fastened to the spot. His heart wanted to leap out of his chest.

"Trix-"

Trixie took a step toward him, eyes bearing into him.

"Bri, it's you. It's always been you, all these years. And it took a stupid fucking color for me to realize it."

His jaw worked, words fleeing his brain in the moment, shock settling over him like a heavy mantle. He wasn't hearing him right, couldn't be.

"Trix, are you telling me, that you-"

Trixie chuckled despite himself, tears pricking his eyes, "That you're the idiot for me? Yeah."

Katya stood completely still, tears stinging his own eyes, the words bouncing loudly around in his head, his chest constricting. He licked his lips, unsure whether or not to believe it.

"I'm dreaming right now, " he whispered, not trusting his voice, "this isn't happening."

Trixie stopped right in front of him, brown eyes studying blue. 

He reached out for him, finger tips brushing his jawline before he dropped his hand. 

"Bri-" 

His voice cracked, desperately wanting Katya to close the space between them. He wasn't sure what Katya's feelings for him were anymore, could only hope, but tonight was a night for truth, and he prayed to whatever was out there, that Katya would catch him this time. That Katya would stay, and that they would be okay.

"Bri," he tried again, "I'm here."

Katya shuddered, his tears finally spilling down his cheeks. He took a half step forward, not quite trusting himself. He lifted a trembling hand before gently cupping Trixie's face, thumb absently wiping away his tears. Katya licked his lips, voice thick with emotion.

"Can I kiss you?"

Trixie whimpered and sunk into his palm, eyes fluttering closed, "God, I wish you would."

Katya centered a moment, his eyes taking in the features of this man, the man that meant more to him than anything else. The man that he'd thought about every single day for years, even though he never thought he had a chance. Even if this was a dream, he would still take the risk and kiss him, even if it meant that was his only chance in the world.

He wouldn't blow it. Couldn't.

Controlling his breathing, he pressed in closer, their noses brushes slightly, Trixie's breath hitching as Katya shifted. Swallowing one last time, Katya closed his eyes and finally closed the distance between them, their lips meeting in a soft brush at first, still unsure whether anything about tonight was even real. But feeling him sigh against his lips, feeling the warm skin under his palm, knowing this was Brian in front of him... it was realest thing he had ever experienced.

Pressing his body against Trixie's, Katya slid his hand down to gently cup Trixie's neck, deepening the kiss, the other queen turning to putty in his hands. He took his time, languidly exploring the other man, noting the little noises he made while Katya kissed him, the way his chest heaved as they moved closer, the way his hands fell to his hips to steady himself against the feelings Katya could instill in him. With just a touch of tongue, Katya finally pulled away, eyes fluttering open as he studied Trixie, eyes closed, cheeks tinged pink with heat. His slender fingers flexed against Katya's sides, steadying himself in the sea he was tossing in.

Trixie swallowed slowly, lashes fluttering as his eyes opened finally, black at the intensity between them. Katya felt his own breath hitch, struck silent by the beauty in front of him. Trixie licked his lips, eyes dropping to look at Katya's mouth for a moment before locking eyes with him, the two in awe of the other.

"Holy shit," they muttered in unison before breaking out into quiet laughter, Trixie falling further into Katya. It felt right to laugh then, that it was the easiest thing in the world, being with him.

Katya straightened, his hands dropping to grasp Trixie's, opening his mouth to speak before Trixie cut him off.

"I always thought that the first time you got to really kiss me, you'd be rough."

He breathed out a small laugh and swayed forward, pressing their foreheads together.

"Yeah, well. I wanted to really enjoy it in case you changed your mind."

Trixie pressed their noses together, "I'm not changing my mind," he whispered. 

Katya's eyes narrowed as his hands moved to grip the other man's hips.

"That's good to hear, because I want to kiss you again."

Trixie rolled his hips into him, "I think you better before I get bored and leave you here."

Something akin to a growl left Katya then before he was kissing him again, hungrier, more desperate. Trixie couldn't help the sway of his body into Katya, the other man's body solid against him. The hands on his hips were hotter than fire, even through the material of his shirt. Katya would devour him, and Trixie was more than happy to be the feast. 

Breaking their kiss, Katya pressed a kiss to the column of Trixie's throat, making the other man groan out loud.

"Oh my god, I wish there was a bed in this fucking room right now."

Katya pulled away to look at him, his blue eyes blown black, his mouth an almost feral grin.

"I can take you back to my place and rail you through the mattress, bitch."

Trixie ignored the twitch in his groin before he ground himself into Katya, reveling in the way his jaw worked to swallow a moan.

He was feeling brazen, emboldened by the obvious effect he had on the other man. He leaned in, hands already gripping the sides of Katya's neck as he ghosted a kiss against his lips.

"Please."

Katya exhaled unevenly, the hands on Trixie's hips tightening before he gently pushed off, his stance unsteady as he jerked his head toward the door.

"Lead the way, Talullah."

Trixie ignored the shiver, whether from arousal or the sudden loss of the volcanic body heat that was just pressed against him, he wasn't sure. But he looked at Brian, really looked at him for a moment.

He still let Trixie set the tone, let him dictate how far he was willing to go. He could change his mind and end this entire thing right now, and Katya would let him. Instead, he stood in the middle of the bedroom, the red room, giving him a chance to back out without repercussion. Trixie lived in the emotion a moment, his heart almost aching at the sweetness of the action. And this, from a man that had harbored feelings for him, it seems, for several years. His eyes studied him, from the pulsing vein in his neck, to the intensity in those blue eyes, to the red that clung to his neck from the earlier heat.

Red.

He was really going to enjoy the color.

He stepped forward a moment, stopping right in front of Katya, before he bent forward and pressed a firm kiss to his lips.

"Let's go home."