Work Text:
Come up to meet you, tell you I'm sorry
You don't know how lovely you are
A widowed man stood in the halls of the mansion he once shared with his family; a husband who adored him and a precious son they doted upon. A piglin child they rescued from the Nether Dimension to protect, raising in the love of a caring family instead of the loneliness of his past. The married pair had stumbled across the piglin child who was lost and separated from his sounder. They waited a while and when no one came to find the boy they decided to adopt him, commissioning a builder to design their forever home.
This home was supposed to be the place they grew old, the place they spent the rest of their platonic partnership outfitting the way they loved. Finally some rest after so many long months of fighting, of conflict. Somewhere their child could grow up safe and sound from outside threats, it was supposed to be an inviting place, a sanctuary.
Now, that future had been struck from all of them on the end of the Warden's sword. When Technoblade had shown up announcing Ranboo's death Tubbo didn't want to believe him. It couldn’t be true, sure Ranboo had gone missing before and they weren’t on the best of terms at the moment. But Ranboo had always been the cautious one, never getting into any sort of trouble. He was usually the one pulling Tubbo out of situations, his mediator nature had saved both of them more than once.
But that day when he finally turned on his communicator and saw the death announcement, his stomach sank to his feet. His brain was at war over whether it was true or not, but the communicator had never been wrong before.
Technoblade told him he would keep an eye out for the enderman at Tubbo’s insistence, as far as he was aware his husband should have had two more chances left.
Then, Tommy messaged him that he had met Ranboo’s ghost on the mainland at his base, just wandering along the prime path. His emotions couldn’t win against his best friend’s word and grief had overtaken him, Tubbo hardly knew where he was even walking until he broke out of his daze standing in the family home that was now only for two members.
Now these hallowed halls matched the chasm in his heart, a gaping hole in his chest that felt endless. Like a void of grief he could easily lose himself in. Shadows clung to the walls, inviting the dark feelings to grow as this place now felt empty and haunted. No more would Ranboo’s sweet laugh echo these corridors as he chased their son around, they had spent a few days here just trying to plan it out but Michael always wanted to play hide and seek, Ranboo couldn’t say no to their piglin son. Now there would never be a game like that again, Ranboo was always so indulgent with their son, putting down anything to pay attention to the boy.
The mansion’s structure had been completed for a while but things had always come up when they tried to furnish it. Tubbo wasn’t even sure if he wanted to anymore, too many associations hung from this building like terrible decorations, memories of his husband assaulted his heart as he stood in what once was his pride and joy.
Tubbo knew he had to keep going, to keep pushing forward and putting one foot ahead of the other. He must keep moving while his heart is broken in pieces, if there was anyone he had to live for, it was Michael.
But how was he meant to continue when everything he saw reminded him of the sweet enderman, the one who's kind actions left marks on everyone he ever met. He had befriended so many just by being himself, sticking to his morals of friends not sides, breaking down the thick walls of even the most removed folk.
Ranboo and Tubbo had many arguments over their time together and just before he disappeared, arrested by Sam apparently, they were supposed to meet and discuss their last disagreement. Tubbo wanted to apologise for blowing it out of proportion but now, he would never get that chance.
I had to find you
Tell you I need you
Tell you I set you apart
When the pictures of his wall reminded him of the happy times, posing for family portraits with wide smiles on all three different species faces. Both parents wore matching gold wedding bands on their horns, Tubbo remembered the day they sat down for the painting Michael kept trying to grab for them. The only worries they had was they were doing right by their son, raising a generation that had no conflicts or danger.
Pulling the cold band off his horn he cupped it in his scarred palms, just staring at it. A symbol of a promise to stand by him forever, now broken by the mortality of life. He remembered the day Ranboo surprised him with the jewellery, shy and blushing as he asked Tubbo if he truly wanted to declare their devotion to the other. Neither of them had romantic feelings but they shared something deeper than a friendship, calling each other partners came so easily. Ranboo laughed it off as for tax benefits but both were smiling as they vowed to never leave the other, to do their best for Michael.
How was Tubbo meant to go forward when the one he relied on through everything had become a ghost of himself, not the same one he swore to stand by in sickness and in death? When every breath felt like one robbed from the grave because he lived when Ranboo didn't?
There were so many times Tubbo should have died, when it should have been him instead of Ranboo. There was no one more deserving of life than the enderman, but Sam robbed that from him too young as a failed bargaining chip that didn't even work.
There was a sharp pain every time he saw something that triggered a memory of Ranboo's laugh, his smile, his stammering speech when he was thrown off, Ranboo's compassion and willingness to do anything for those he was close to. The enderman's comforting presence was dearly missed by all, but to Tubbo, it felt like a gap that would never be filled again. The other half of his soul had been lost from this plane, all over something that wasn’t even his fault.
Tubbo truly didn't know how to move forward with his heart so stuck in the past, attached to one buried. He felt so lost, drowned, and the only one he trusted to pull him out was dead.
Dead.
A finality rang true in that word he hadn't accepted before, an acceptance.
Tubbo collapsed to his knees at the foot of the twin staircases, the ones the pair had commissioned together. A safe haven for their son, Tubbo's chest heaved as he remembered what could have been.
He didn't know how he would ever find his way out of this pit, this depression, it felt inescapable. A prison made of memories and bitterness trapped his heart now, each time he tried to leave his death hit all over again. Thinking of Ranboo was now painful instead of joyous, forever tainted by loss.
But he knew he had to try. For Michael. For Ranboo's memory.
For now though, it was going to hurt like fucking hell.
Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh, let's go back to the start
~~~
Running in circles
Coming up tails
Heads on a science apart
Tommy stood at the end of the tunnel leading to Snowchester, it had been a few days since word had spread that Ranboo had died in a failed attempt to keep Dream from breaking out of prison with the help of Techno. The air surrounding the blonde teen was cold and biting, it felt like the boy's heart since he learned of his close friend's demise. Tommy knew his best friend must be distraught, but he needed to be sure that he himself was okay before going to comfort his dear Tubs.
The water tunnel was daunting, once he entered he was committing to seeing Tubbo once more. Pulling out his trident, he watched it glow in the sun, purple enchantments occasionally pulsing across the surface of the tool.
Tommy had been standing here for a while now, the hole in his chest felt never ending, no matter how many times he went through the grief of losing someone it never got easier.
He cannot imagine how Tubbo was feeling as the boy was so much closer to the enderman, promised partners with a son they were raising together.
The cool water enveloped him as he entered the water tube, quickly speeding through the long tunnel. The boy's enchanted armour protected him from the water soaking him, but it was still a cold snowy area he emerged into, shivering as the cold leaked into his bones. The atmosphere reminded him of Techno's northern cottage in the Arctic, an unforgiving atmosphere but a safe haven.
Many houses dotted the hills near the tunnel's exit, the largest being a giant mansion to the right of the teen. It was elegant and massive, Tubbo and Ranboo had commissioned it for their home to raise Michael in. Foolish, being himself, went a little insane with the design and it was now one of the biggest buildings in the world besides the prison and Eret's castle.
There was only one light shining in those many windows tonight, the one closest to the entrance of this massive building.
Tommy knew the boy was here in the nation he made, he expected to have to search for the boy through Snowchester but that light indicated where he was. Tommy spent a few moment's mentally preparing himself for what he was walking into. Tucking his trident away into his glowing inventory he let his mind sink into the grief, processing it slowly as he prepared for comforting Tubbo.
Ranboo had become a steady place for both of them, someone who was reliable and sweet. They had naturally fallen into a place within Tommy and Tubbo's friendship, a perfect balance to the chaos the other two had.
When things started getting rough between the boys, the enderman had been there for both of them. If there was anything to remember Ranboo for, it was their big heart. And now, like all good things, they were taken too soon.
Tommy was left scrambling for the pieces of what was but he knew one thing with certainty; if the teen felt this way, his friend who had promised his heart to Ranboo forever to be the one at his side felt so much worse.
Nobody said it was easy
It's such a shame for us to part
Nobody said it was easy
No one ever said it would be this hard
The tall spruce doors of their mansion towered overhead as Tommy walked towards them, one door hanging open to the cold air. The only occupant was a kneeling figure at the bottom of the twin staircases, hunched over with his forehead pressed to the floor, shoulders shaking. Loud sobbing drowned out Tommy’s entrance so he decided to call out to the boy, as to not surprise him.
"Tubs?" Tommy cautiously asked, the kneeling figure's head snapping his way after he sat up.
"What are you doing here?" Tubbo asked in a harsh tone, his eyes flashing as he met Tommy's with his own ocean-blue gaze.
"Just checking in on you." Tommy answered simply, a little stung at the greeting.
"I'm fine." Tubbo immediately shut him out, turning back to the hallowed halls of painful memories, his blonde hair messy, clothes unkempt.
Tommy walked a few feet closer, noticing the rips in Tubbo's coat, he had obviously not been careful these past few days.
"You aren't."
Tommy knew that would only be met with hostility, but he would rather Tubbo cuss him out then stay silent, shutting him out completely.
"Tommy, leave me alone." Tubbo's voice was rough, his scarred cheeks wet in the low firelight. "I don't want to see anyone right now."
Tommy took a moment, looking at his best friend, his heart aching right along with him. The boy obviously hadn't been taking care of himself, smudged dirt on his cheeks and hair clumped together. His horns lacked their usual shine, the boy just looked so broken.
"No." Tommy responded, sliding down into a sitting position beside the boy. "No matter what happens between us, I will never leave you alone."
Tubbo glanced at him again, rage slightly dampened, face softening before more tears slid down his cheeks.
"Why was he the one to die?" Tubbo asked, his shoulder's slumping as he grew less defensive.
"I don't know Tubs." Tommy replied, a tired tone in his voice. "I don't know, but I am so sorry."
Tubbo finally relaxed his guard, leaning into Tommy's outstretched arm, tucking himself into Tommy's side. The poor boy was trembling, tears cascading down his face, deep scar tissue coating his face from trauma passed. The small blonde’s shaking fingers played with the gold band he once wore happily with Ranboo wearing its counterpart, Tommy recognised it as being his wedding band. Tubbo let it fall to the ground before wrapping his arms around Tommy, holding on tightly.
If anything, they at least have each other while they reminisced on their friend who had fit perfectly into their friendship, one who died far too soon leaving behind friends who would never quite be the same.
The boys mourned innocence lost together.