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Regulus groaned as he woke up. He felt around the bed with his hand. Something felt off. He suddenly realized that the bedding wasn’t his. As he tried to get up, he also realized there’s someone on his chest. He silently casts a wand less light charm. A soft light appeared in Regulus’ palm.
He wanted to throw up. A redhead was laying on his chest. A red head that could only be Lily Evans. Regulus felt his hands begin to shake. He was becoming increasingly more aware of just how naked they both are. Merlin. His head pounded from the massive hangover he was experiencing, and he heart hammered from the situation he has gotten himself into. How did this end happen? He isn’t attracted to women! Like at all!
Regulus put out the light by simply closing his hand then he begins slowly moving out from under Lily. He paused and held his breath every time she moved or made any type of noise. Eventually, he slipped his handout from under her, and he was finally free. Regulus searched in the dark for his clothes, and he did end up finding his boxers. As he put them on he heard Lily groan. Regulus froze.
See the thing was, Regulus is a gay man. He is a very very gay man. To the point he cannot get off the women kind of gay. He also happened to have a huge crush on the man chasing after Lily Evans, James Potter. The straightest person in the school, and he’s a Gryffindor. Regulus has envied Lily, but he’s never ever wanted to do anything with her. He hardly even likes her!
“Fuck,” Lily groaned. She began sitting up. Regulus looked away before the covers dropped. He stared at the ground as he listened to Lily’s brain working. “Hello?” Lily called out. Regulus couldn’t leave without his clothes, and he definitely shouldn’t make her worried about who she slept with. He cleared his through.
“Uh,” his voice shook, “Hi, Evans.” Regulus’ face burned red, and he didn’t dare look towards Lily’s bed.
“Who-“ Lily’s voice shook. Regulus cut her off, wanting to at least try and make this easier.
“Sirius’ younger brother. Regulus Black, the Slytherin,” Regulus stated. He rocked back and forth on his feet. He was still looking at the ground. He didn’t dare look towards Lily.
“Oh, shit,” Lily cursed. Regulus grimaced. He hoped for a bit of a better reaction than that. He accidentally looked towards Lily, forgetting she had been naked. He caught sight of her desperately trying to cover herself as she got up, and he instantly looked back at the floor. He bent down, and began searching for any clothes. He found a shirt, it was probably his, but that didn’t matter at the moment.
“Evans, here’s a shirt.” He held his arm out, looking down. “I think it’s mine, but you can slip it on.” Regulus heard Lily’s footsteps rush over. Regulus dropped his arm after Lily took the shirt. He kept his head down until he heard a laugh.
“Why are you being so respectful?” Lily laughed. She was looking at him as if she was studying him, which sort of made him uncomfortable. He just raised a brow.
“Uh, why would I not? I mean you’re really smart and beautiful and, uh, nice?” Regulus tried. He tried giving her a smile, but she just started laughing.
“No but seriously, it’s kind of suspicious.” Lily put her hands on her hips, and she stared at Regulus.
“I don’t know!” Regulus threw his hands up. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable? I don’t even understand how we ended up here!” Regulus admitted. Lily looked shocked at that. “What?” Regulus felt blood run from his head. Oh, shit. “What did I do?” Regulus voice shook.
“Nothing, nothing. I just assumed you weren’t that drunk. From what I remember you weren’t really slurring your words. At least I don’t think so,” Lily stated. She was looking at him with suspicion.
“I don’t remember shit of last night,” Regulus laughed slightly. Lily looked surprised.
“Oh,” she continued to stare at him.
“Huh?” Regulus insisted. Lily squinted at him.
“You were so sweet, from what I can remember,” Lily whispered. Regulus’ eyes widened. His eyes flickered away from Lily a few times.
“Uh, Lily, not to- uh, not to make this even more weird, but I’m gay. And- and I don’t know how this happened. Like I’m really not interested in women,” Regulus grimaced. He watched as Lily’s face morphed into confusion then something else he couldn’t name.
“Okay, well, I would so be down to act like this never happened if you are,” Lily offered. She seemed to have a reason for this in mind.
“I’m sure you were lovely, but I would never wanted to do something like this to James, you know. Plus, I don’t remember it anyway,” Regulus let out a forced laugh. Lily’s eyebrows were raised.
“Merlin, you really don’t know do you?” Lily asked. Regulus raised a brow. “I have something going on with Mary Macdonald, and I think James in crushing on some boy.” Regulus heart stopped. He felt like all his blood drained out of his body. Regulus stumbled to search for his clothes again.
“Thanks for being cool about this. Please don’t tell anyone about this, I’m sorry, you’re really lovely, and I’m sorry we met like this,” Regulus rambled. His hands shook as they tried to find his clothes. He felt his eyes begin burning.
Of course James is bi or whatever he is. Of course he likes men. Of course he does. That just means Regulus will simply not be good enough. Regulus is just Sirius’ younger brother, and James actually like men. James likes men, and he will never like Regulus. That’s fine. That’s just okay. It’s perfect because James will be with someone who deserves him, and-
“Regulus!” Lily’s face is in front of his. Regulus’ eyes bounce over all of his face. He can tell his breathing was frantic. “Come on breathe. Yes, just like that. So good! Yes! Regulus, breathe.” Regulus forced his breathing to slow. He watched as Lily stared at him with confusion.
“‘m sorry. Really sorry. Didn’t mean too,” Regulus begun pushing himself up, but Lily stopped him.
“What happened?” she asked softly. Regulus stared at her with wide eyes.
“Nothing, it’s whatever,” Regulus tried. He begun getting up only to be stopped once again.
“What did I say?” Lily whispered. Regulus stared at her. Her eyes were so caring, and Regulus’ brain wasn’t working yet.
“James isn’t straight,” Regulus chokes out. He looked at Lily’s shoulder, not wanting to see her reaction. “I thought he liked you, and that would’ve been okay because you’ve got long hair and curves. You’re a woman, but James isn’t into you. He’s into some boy, and that just means that it’s me. It’s not that James is straight; it’s that he just isn’t into me. And- and I can’t remember what happened last night, and I really don’t want to be here anymore. I don’t even know how I managed to fuck you,” Regulus blurted out. He cried, and his hands shook. He curled around himself, and his body shook with sobs. He felt like he couldn’t breathe.
“Regulus, sh, Regulus. Breathe, please breathe. I’ll be right back, love,” Lily whispered. Regulus muscles spasms, and his body wasn’t getting enough air. Suddenly, it was bright, and Regulus covered his eyes quickly. It went out fast. Regulus wasn’t sure how long after that he felt a hand on his shoulder.
“Regulus, hey, hey, Regulus, come on, you’re okay. You’re safe, and you’re not going to get hurt,” a soothing voice stated. Regulus listened intently to it. He tried figuring out who it was, but his brain felt fried. “Hey, Lily’s grabbing your clothes now. She came and got me, and she asked me to help,” the voice talked. Regulus’ eyes slipped open, and he froze again Remus Lupin was in front of him.
“No, no, no, no,” Regulus muttered, staring at Remus. “Siri- Sirius. You’re Sirius’. You should be with Sirius. Sirius and- and James and- and who is it? Please, please, please, just who is it? That’s all I want to know,” Regulus cried out. He begged Remus. He had to know who this boy that had James’ attention was. He would make himself match the boy exactly if that’s what is costed to get James’ attention.
“Sh, Regulus. It’s okay. Come on, you need to breathe. See, in 1, 2, 3, 4, hold 1, 2, 3. Now release 1, 2, 3, 4, 5.” Regulus tried. He really did, but his lungs weren’t working, and his mind was lost to him. Regulus was under sure of how much time passed, but he heard more footsteps approach.
“Reggie,” Sirius. Regulus snapped his head over. His brother was standing there. He was looking at him. Him. Regulus! “Reggie, you have to breathe come on. Whatever happened it’s okay, it’s okay and no one’s mad at you,” Sirius said calmly. Regulus stared wide eyed at his brother.
“Siri-“ Regulus muttered. Regulus still couldn’t breathe, but he was thinking solely on Sirius. “Siri, who is it? Who? Please, please!” Regulus mumbled. He stared up at his brother.
“Reggie, breathe. You have to breath,” Sirius demanded. Regulus lost his focus on Sirius. His eyes caught on someone new entering. Oh, James.