Chapter Text
Days since...
YEARS MONTHS DAYS
00 09 05
A horn is heard in the distance.
Leah is almost certain it is directed at her, as she runs to cross the street, struggling to dodge a couple of rather suspicious puddles with her backpack over her shoulders.
If any of her friends saw her at this moment, they would probably say she was running away, having an emotional crisis or running away while having an emotional crisis, and honestly at this point, any of those would be correct.
But for the first time, Leah doesn't feel trapped.
She doesn't feel like life is passing her by and she can't decide what or how or when, for the first time she feels in control, even if that sense of control comes from going in the opposite direction she should be going in the first place.
Leah can feel a buzzing feeling running through her, that feels vaguely like the hustle of the city in which she finds herself. Or maybe, that feeling is just her phone vibrating in her pocket, either way, she doesn't care anymore. This feels good, it feels right.
At least that is until Leah lifts her head, relieved to have found a bus stop to shelter her from the rain and everything comes to a halt.
"Brown eyes piercing down through my soul..."
Leah feels like running or staying or moving or maybe she just wants everything she’s feeling to stop and just exist in this moment. A moment where there’s only Leah and a pair of brown eyes looking right through her.
The rain goes on. But Leah can't keep going.
All around her are flashes of light ranging from yellow to purple.
And people come and go, up and down. But Leah just stands there, barely breathing, captive of brown skin and beautiful pink lips. There’s no smile or trademark smirk in sight, just her looking straight into the camera, directly at Leah.
"I can not move, I can not run"
The world keeps going. But in this place, time seems to have stopped and Leah can only see soft waves of black hair falling over bare shoulders and strong hands capable of making even the finest of movements, of tracing intricate patterns on Leah's back until she falls asleep.
And if this isn't witchcraft or some kind of spell, then surely it must be a curse, because Leah's entire existence is here, in a forgotten dimly lit bus stop, in an inconsequential city and there is nothing she can do about it.
"Brown eyes piercing down through my soul"
The buses go by, one after another.
But Leah is only vaguely aware of it. She stands there, tugging at the straps of her backpack, while her eyes roam avidly over the familiar image in front of her, as if she wanted to keep every detail embedded in her memory.
And really, she would scoff at herself. Because it's not as if those details weren't impregnated in her already. It's not as if Leah couldn't trace her figure with her eyes closed just by sheer memory or didn't dream of her every night, as if she didn't know every single detail of her face, every gesture, every smile, every frown, every thing. Because she does. Leah remembers all.
"And everything's calm and I am whole"
Leah lets out a shaky breath.
In her mind, she can hear her favorite poem echoing over and over, incessantly, and she can't help but wonder if perhaps this is her world dropping dead.
So, she shuts her eyes and lets it all fade away.
And Leah can feel it. She can feel calloused hands playing with her fingers and running through her hair, soft pink lips whispering in her ear and kissing her just below the ear, endless brown skin reacting to Leah's touch and dilated brown eyes that hold all the love, all the tenderness, all for her.
"Brown eyes piercing down to my soul"
A warm feeling expands in her chest and there's no stopping it now. She is gone.
"Is this real?"
So, Leah just stays there… feeling caressing hands sliding down her waist locking on her belly, the comforting weight of a chin on her shoulder and the warm breath of a laugh on her cheek and Leah wants to bask in this... moment? Memory? Fantasy?
Leah suddenly opens her eyes.
And it all comes crashing down.
"Or I am lost?"
Her trembling hands are fumbling with the sleeves of her sweater and Leah is just slightly surprised when she can feel the tears running down her face.
And everything starts to come into focus, the city is shining and the hustle starts to get louder and louder.
It’s no longer raining. The night is calm, almost serene.
And Leah accepts for the first time that there’s not hiding, no way out. There probably never will be. She is everywhere and if Leah is being honest with herself, she's always hoping to find her . There’s just no escape, because Leah always carries it with her, as if everything in her life can be taken and traced back to her.
Her.
The void that Leah bears in her chest and this pain that haunts her at night. Her . The calming force after a tempestuous day and this feeling of coming home. Her . Who made Leah feel like she belonged, like she was something precious to treasure and for Leah she was like bliss after a sunny summer day, warm, inviting…
Was . Past tense, and she has still to keep reminding herself of that.
Now she is someone. And Leah is nobody.
She sighs and the tears keep falling.
And she knows there's nothing more pathetic than her right now, in this shitty city, at this forgotten bus stop, looking at a fucking advertisement and crying.
No greater resignation than Leah knowing that she is hers . Totally, irrevocably and irredeemably hers.
Perhaps she always has been and surely she always will be.
This revelation is strong enough to make Leah sit on the bench.
And this time, Leah is willing to admit to herself that she’s lost. That she doesn't know who she is, let alone how to keep going or where to go.
So, she just sits there, and when she feels her phone vibrate again, she pulls it out of her pocket and takes a moment before she comes face to face with reality…
Dot Campbell
7 Missed Calls
Rachel Reid
4 Missed Calls
Shelby Goodkind
2 Missed Calls
Dot ⦗4:03 pm⦘ :
what time r you getting here?
im picking you up
Dot ⦗06:07 pm⦘ :
rlly dude
what time you gonna be here
Dot ⦗06:35 pm⦘ :
youre scaring me
you ok?
Dot ⦗06:36 pm⦘ :
if you dont answer in the next 15 min
im gonna start mking calls
Rachel ⦗06:38 pm⦘ :
Dot called
Answer now
Dot ⦗06:40 pm⦘ :
leah c’mon
i just want to know you ok
Dot ⦗06:41 pm ⦘:
if i dont have an ansewr from you in the next hour
im calling the cops
Rachel ⦗07:08 pm⦘ :
This isn’t funny Leah
Answer the damn phone
Nora ⦗08:12 pm⦘ :
Leah, I'm sure you have your reasons for this…
but Rachel is worried and Dot is freaking out
Nora ⦗08:12 pm⦘ :
She keeps saying she's going to call the police,
I already told her she can't file a missing person's report
until at least 24 hours have passed
Nora ⦗08:13 pm⦘:
But I don't think that's going to stop her for long,
so please, just answer
Nora ⦗08:13 pm⦘ :
You don't have to tell us where you are if you don't want to
Dot ⦗08:47 pm⦘ :
leah please
just want to know you ok
Dot ⦗08:47 pm⦘ :
send something
im worried sick
Shelby ⦗09:22 pm⦘ :
Honey, we are all very worried
and whatever is going on
just know that we are with you <3
Shelby ⦗09:22 pm⦘ :
You can take all the time you need for yourself
but we need to know that you are okay and in a safe place
Dot ⦗11:47 pm⦘ :
c’mon leah
just give us somethin
like
thumbs up if you r ok
Leah ⦗11:51 pm⦘ :
👍
Dot ⦗11:51 pm⦘ :
n youre safe?
Leah ⦗11:51 pm⦘ :
👍
Dot ⦗11:52 pm⦘ :
fine
if you want me to pick you up
send me your location
Leah ⦗11:52 pm⦘ :
Thanks
I’m sorry