Work Text:
Spidey Charity Wash Weekend
Spidey will wash your high-rise windows. Proceeds will be donated to the charity of your choice. 1% of the funds will go toward purchasing washing supplies. No shirtless requests because sunburn sucks. Private residences only, no office buildings. One window per person.
PayPal @spidey_windows
Include your address & charity
Peter sat back at his desk and refreshed the page to see his now live Craigslist ad. The version that had made it onto the site had taken him literal hours.
About ten seconds later his phone chimed with a text from Tony.
From Tony: Nice ad kid. When's this happening?
Pete facepalmed. Of course he'd forgotten to include the dates. His phone chimed again.
From Bucky: ur ad reads like a fuckin scam. and no offices? What about nonprpfits they gotta pay you
From Tony: only the bottom 78 floors are business, so you up for the rest?
From Peter: I said one window per person so u get exactly one window
From Bucky: what if someone picks a white nationalist charity or a homophobic one? U still gonna wash and donate??
From Peter: why are u even on craigskist
From Peter: *vraifslist
From Peter: craigslist
From Peter: but good point...maybe I should pick the charities
From Nat: I hope you didn't link your actual bank account
Okay, rude. Peter stuck his tongue out at his phone. He wasn't that stupid. Yet he did forget to add the dates and Bucky had a good point about the charities.
From Tony: too late
Peter had about two seconds to puzzle out Tony's ominous text when an email notification from PayPal popped up on his phone. "Oh no."
$1,000,000 from Tony Stark
Address: you know it
Charity: Make-A-Wish Foundation
From Sam: I hope your good at counting floors from the outside
From Peter: why is everyone roasting me? I'm trying to use my powders for good
From Peter: *powers
From Sam: Very commendable, but if this thing takes off you're gonna be washing windows till kingdom come.
From Sam: it's gonna use up all your powders too haha
From Peter: well so far I've only gotten one donation and Bucky thinks it looks like a scam ad so
From Peter: And my powders are just fine thanks
From Wade: aw it's windows? It says spidey wash tho
From Wade: is photography permitted? What if i supply ur sunscreen
From Matt: I can't tell if my windows need washing, do you charge extra for a consultation?
Ha. Ha, Peter thought.
His email notification popped up again.
$500,000 from WWW aka DP aka MWTM ak
Stand Up to Cancer
You know where to find me Spideybabe ;P
From Peter: Why are you all on craigslist??
From Tony: JARVIS sent us all the link.
From JARVIS: I was merely trying to be supportive, Mr. Parker. I see my efforts may not have been as encouraging as I'd hoped.
"JARVIS can text?" Peter asked his empty studio. "Who am I kidding, of course he can text."
From Clint: Can I help??
From Bucky: Steve wants to start flippin furniture
From Peter: ok???
From Bucky: I told him we have furniture he can flip if he's mad but he wants to buy old furniture and paint it first idk
From Bruce: this is really sweet of you Peter. I'd love to donate
From Bucky: there's a lot of furniture on craigslist
From Bucky: http://newyork.craigslist.org/cute-night-stand.html check this out
From Wade: do I get a bf discount?
From Peter: are u seriously asking to make a discounted donation?
From Wade: oops ur right. Perks? Half a mil should get me smth XXXtraa
From Peter: maybe :P
From Peter: wait no it's my window too