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The sun was setting on the rebel camp hidden on Attolon, the mess was loud and lively with people speaking and joking and appreciating their meal after a hard day of work and a successive rescue mission that ended with no casualties. It was a nice evening for everyone. Sabine sat at the table, facing Ezra and next to Zeb who was telling to two other pilots how he successfully destroyed two tanks by himself during their last mission. She could see Ezra giggling and how much he was holding back from pointing out the fact that it was supposed to be a stealth mission, or maybe he was just waiting for the best moment in his story to drag their friend.
“And at this point it seemed that, not only the troopers kept coming from everywhere, but with two tanks down, it felt like they took it personally and they all started to aim at me! Even with two Jedi swinging their sabers around!”
“Well...” Ezra started, “maybe they were just mad at you for waking them up.” he said with a little smirk. She knew him too well. The young man turned to the two pilots “You know, usually we don’t take him on stealth missions…” he said with a jokingly pitiful look. “But we didn’t wanted him to feel lonely so we let him come with us.”
The pilots chuckled at the mockery, but Zeb only fell into his trap and, after obviously faking a laugh, he stared back at his ‘so-called friend’ and argued “Ha! Not everyone can be the little guy going into the vents while everyone else is having fun!”
Ezra laughed while looking at his feet, feigning that the attack got to him more that it did. Sabine could feel the heat between the two rising, then, as she didn’t wanted to be between the two when they’ll clash, she took her plate and stand up sighting yet still smiling.
Hasn’t she made ten steps, she felt a piece of bread flying next to her and watched it landing on the ground a few meters away. The fight had begun. The two were laughing, Ezra hiding behind a pillar while Zeb was throwing food at him. ‘They are going to be in so much trouble’ she thought, but the sight was so ridiculous that she couldn’t help but laugh a little.
“Who do you think is going to ground them first?” A voice said behind her. As she turned to face the person speaking to her, she first recognized what seemed to be an ocean of red wavy hair with, almost hiding in it, a pair of small brown eyes at her level.
“What?” Sabine said mechanically when she felt she took too much time to answer.
“Those two”, she said pointing with her nose at both Zeb and Ezra, while the latter was currently screaming, trying to get his face out of his restrainer’s arm. ‘What are they even doing now?’ She preferred to focus on the person facing her, “I hope for them that captain Rex is the one who is going to put this…situation back under control.” She said with a smile, looking back into Sabine eyes. She remembered the young woman from earlier, she is one of the new fighters, a pilot if her memory is clear.
“Yeah!” Sabine laugh, looking like she is coming back on land, “If it’s Hera they’re dead.” They both laughed warmly.
“Do you want to sit with me?” she said with an almost unusual low voice, pointing to a table right next to them.
“Yeah, thanks!” Sabine put her plate down while the other woman poured her a drink before serving herself, when it hit her “Oh, I’m sorry, I haven’t asked you for your name!”
“Don’t worry, I’m Edorian, but people call me Dory.” she said with a warm smile, locking her look with Sabine’s.
“Nice to meet you Dory, I’m Sabine.” She said as she started eating.
“Yes I know.” Sabine noticed the confidence in her answer. “The Mandalorian.”
The answer almost made her cringe even if she tried to hide it while eating her stew that was on the menu that night. She didn’t liked when people in the rebellion referred to her as ‘the mandalorian’. Even with Rau present on the planet now, it still felt like she was put in the place of “the mandalorian girl”. Of course she wasn’t ashamed of who she was or her culture, she wore her armor proudly. But she wasn’t just that, she wasn’t defined by where she was from. And she liked a whole lot better when people were referring to her as ‘the artist’, something she has become after working hard and describing her passion, even if it was always good to still be called by just her name.
Dory didn’t seem to have noticed the internal monologue she caused to Sabine because she started talking and pushing the conversation. Sabine decided to go with it, the girl was nice and seemed smart, talking to her felt easy enough and the dialogue between them kept going for a while.
To what may have been an hour later, Sabine decided it was time for her to say goodbye to her new friend for the night. She stretch out her arms and stand up with Dory mirroring her. They kept talking while washing their plates and even a little after. At this point she was well aware of the woman interest in her, but she still hasn’t made her mind on the topic yet. They said goodnight and, when Dory went for her sleep area, she forced the brush of their hands. The action made Sabine smile as she went to the ghost.
She was surprised when, arriving to the ghost, she saw Ezra, clearly waiting for her, his back resting on the metal wall of the ship’s entry. He was clearly looking at her, but with an unreadable expression, a rare thing for him. “Had a fun night?” he asked when she past beside him.
“Sad I didn’t stay to help you with Zeb?” she said smiling, going for the first floor.
He finally let a smirk appear, a much more natural expression for him. “Nah… I know you would have helped him more than me.” he said following her.
“I didn’t helped either of you because I know you would get me in trouble and I was right.” She said waiting for him to come up the ladder. “How was Kanan’s scolding?”
“Like always, trying to look more angry than he really is. But we still have to keep watch for the week.”
“So I’m guessing Zeb is first, because if not you’re a terrible guard”. They were now in the hallway to the rooms, but still they wanted to take some time to finish their conversation, like always.
“Please stop doubting my watch guard talent” he said faking being hurt. “But seriously thought, was it…” it seemed like he was looking for his words “did you had a good night?”
The seriousness of the question took her by surprise. “What do you mean?” she said chuckling but still aware of the heaviness that seemed to rest on Ezra’s shoulders.
“I don’t know, nothing really! It’s just, I saw you with this girl, you seemed to have a good conversation, or whatever.” He said almost looking away.
“What is going on, you never took interest in any girl hitting on me.” She said abruptly, maybe because of the tiredness she was really beginning to feel.
“It’s just…” he sighed “It’s too late for this I’m going to sleep. Goodnight!” he said turning his back to her while the door for his room opened.
She couldn’t even respond to him before his door closed, too puzzled by her friend’s reaction. But one thing was sure, she agreed with him about being to late for this. She went to her room and went to sleep not long after. Thinking more about her conversation with Ezra than with the new girl.
* * *
The next morning Sabine woke up motivated to find out what happened with Ezra the night before. He truly almost never seemed this interested in discussing a specific topic with her. Something must have happened, or maybe something was going on, either way, she was going to figure it out.
As soon as she came out of her room she bumped into him, great, it was going to be a lot quicker than she expected.
“Hello Sabine!” he said warmly like every morning.
“Hey. Ezra, about last night…”
“Sorry! I have training with Kanan!” he brushed off and was very quick about his exit of the ship.
Sabine sighed, it seemed it was going to be as hard as she first thought it was going be. Ezra was not really the type to rely on her for sentimental talk, at least she felt it was what she was dealing with this time. The boy was usually going to Kanan or even Hera to talk about those.
She later tried to talk to him at the mess for lunch, but as soon as he saw her coming to him, she saw him chug his water and finish his plate so fast he choked on it, and left almost running. Did he just run away from her?! The more this matter continued, the more she felt the need to know what the Kark was going on.
She saw him one last time before the sun setting, he was going to his watch post, she debated for a few minutes if she was going to follow him to confront him right know or to wait some time, she choose the later and watched him go. She went to her room thinking that of course it would be preferable if Ezra himself was the one opening to her, but he already kind of did, but now he seemed to scared to continue. She smiled thinking that he just needed a little “Wren push”. A kind kick to the butt if you will. This had done the charm for her more than once, and knowing her friend, it will do good for him too.
A few hours later, while she was doing research for her next artwork, she heard the young Jedi coming back from his watch. She knew he was going to arrive since she heard Zeb leaving a few moments earlier, and she was waiting for him to show up ever since.
Not even had he opened the door to his room that Sabine came out of hers, scaring him in the process.
“Sabine?” He whispered but with still enough force in his voice to show his surprise. “I’m sorry if I woke you up, I’m going to sleep right now.”
“How tired are you?” She whispered back, but with assurance in her words.
“Not so much, but I feel quite sweaty and dirty, I didn’t have time to clean up after training so yeah right now all I want is to change.”
“You do that, but meet me in my room when you’re done.”
He didn’t seem to protest even if she could see all of the questions going into his mind, he shrugged and went inside his room while Sabine went her own way to the small kitchen where she took some blue milk and put it on the hotplate. She took two mugs and put some chocolate and spices in it, when the milk was hot enough she poured it in the mugs and added a little honey in hers and a lot more in Ezra’s, just as he liked it. Ezra was just coming out of his room when she came back, he was wearing his white pajamas now. She handed him the hot cup and entered her room waiting for him to come inside to close it.
“So what is going on?” He said faking a panicked smile.
“Sit.” and he did, on the floor, right he was standing. She put her mug on the small table and went threw the top bed that she wasn’t using. “Don’t tell anyone, I trust you.” The words could have frightened anyone but Ezra knew her well enough to recognize the malice in her voice. She turned with the bed’s pillow and a small red box. She threw the pillow at Ezra who caught it without trouble, even with his cup in his other hand.
“What’s that?” he said smiling, bringing the pillow to his chest while watching Sabine take her own pillow and sitting on it on the floor in front of him, her back resting on the bed’s side.
“Biscuits. Mandalorians ones. Not easy to find. It’s my own reserve.” The smell quickly filled the room when she opened the box. They were buttered biscuits, some of them with chocolate chips, others with dry fruits in it. They weren’t really sweet – Mandalore isn’t known for its desserts and sweets – they were even a little salty, but the mix of the two tastes made a recognizable biscuit loved by all mandalorians and a lot of others in the galaxy. She handed the box to her friend, who took one look at it and smiled back, putting his hand in the box.
“Wow, thanks!” his hand was now filled with the different types of cookies. “Hot chocolate and special biscuits, are we going against Thrawn tomorrow or what?” He said with a chuckle.
She smiled back. “You know why you’re here.”
“I do?”
His genuine confused look made Sabine sighed. “What happened yesterday night?”
“Oh.” He looked down, but continued to eat the biscuits, smiling but without his usual joy behind. “You really lured me into this one… I mean I guess it worked.”
They stayed silent for a few moments before Ezra continued to speak.
“I’m sorry if my actions worried you.” He seemed genuine enough, mature even maybe, an occurrence that was more and more present those days she thought. “I… I just don’t really know where to begin you know.”
“Maybe there is no right way to begin, but there is a good way to end and the way to this may be to start speaking.” Some of her words were still harsh for some, but her voice was low and calm.
“I guess you’re right.”
The light was dim and warm and the trust and friendship between the two seemed to grant them the ability to speak their minds to each other without any real fear of judgment, a quality of their relationship that both of them regarded in high esteem.
“Okay… so…” Ezra began, Sabine listening carefully to his words. “How did you know you liked girls?” He said quicker than any of his other sentences of the night, like he had to throw the words hot out of his mouth.
It took some time for Sabine to realize what Ezra just asked her. She was about to take a sip from her beverage when she connected the dots. In front of her Ezra was kind of sinking into himself, almost hiding behind the pillow she had given him.
“Oh… OH!” She said her smile widening.
At the sight Ezra visibly relaxed. “You’re not mad?” He said with a little voice.
“Mad? Why would I be mad?” A little laugh escaped her, but it was clearly not a mocking one, but rather understanding.
“I don’t know! It’s a pretty personal question… I didn’t want to be invasive.”
It all seemed clear now.
“Yeah! From someone I don’t know! Not you Ezra!”
She felt him regain life and they both started laughing at the situation.
“I guess I kind of always knew.” She said, after drinking some of her hot chocolate. They were now both smiling. “Liking girls wasn’t really the problem for some time, I mean you know me, I’m quite honest with how I feel.”
“Yeah.” he said with a scoff, still eating the cookies, he seemed to especially like the ones with fruits in it.
“There was just some time where I wondered if I liked boys too. But after thinking about it for months and months, I came to accept it was just not the case.” She spoke calmly, like she was still reassuring him from the big emotions he just felt, and to let him absorb what she was saying.
“I see…”
The real question was still to be asked. “Why did you want to know?” Her smile was soft, knowing yet listening.
He chuckled “Heh, so yeah… I guess I’ve just been wondering about myself lately.”
She stayed silent to let him speak his mind.
“Okay so for some time now, I’ve realized I haven’t got any crushs. At least not since a long time” His look was going back and forth between his mug, Sabine eyes and the wall behind her. “And even without the whole… Jedi thing.” he waved his hands in front of himself “I don’t even know if I can have a crush, you know.”
Silence filled the room while Sabine thought about what to say, feeling that every one of her words could leave a big impact on her friend.
“Do you feel that you have to have feelings for someone?” She asked gently.
“No! But you know, people in love, it’s like something you’ve been in contact with your whole life! Thinking it’s the norm or something. But when it doesn’t apply to you and never did…”
“Ezra you’re seventeen for Kark sake.” She said smiling to try to stop the boy to overthink. “It’s normal at your age to never have had any experience.”
“Yeah! I know!” He giggled nervously, “That’s why I find it stupid to worry about that, but, what if I never find someone to like?!” H e was shoving biscuit in his mouth, almost as a way to stop talking, but also because they were so good.
“Then that’s okay!” Her voice rose and made the younger one freeze. “Ezra, listen to me, nobody is obligated to feel that type of way. Some never do and because they don’t want to and live happily all their lives.” She took a brief pause for Ezra to relax a little and for him to take in her words. “Romance isn’t a need in life. It’s just something people might pick along the way, like I don’t know.. A rock.” They both chuckled to the weird analogy. “Some people look at a cool rock and decide to take it, sometimes they keep it all the way, sometimes they put it away and choose a new one. And sometimes people just don’t want to take any rocks.”
Ezra smiled slightly, taking a sip of his drink.
“Does it help?”
“Yeah, I guess it does a little…”
“Just a little?” She laugh.
“The rock comparison is weird yeah.” He looked at her with that smug air he himself knows the secret of. “But thanks.” His smile was endearing, childish but serene. “I just wanted to talk about this with someone, and you seemed like the best to go to.” He slowly spoke.
“Thank you Ezra, that means a lot.”
The warmth emanating from both of them was nice, like an understanding, a light night summer wind. It was starting to be really late for the both of them. And as their conversations carried on, they couldn’t help but yawn, echoing one another.
“I probably should get to my room;” Ezra said after almost dislocating his mouth.
“Yeah, get out, I want to sleep too.” Sabine sharply said, still smiling.
“Hey! You’re the one who invited me in!”
“Yeah, and if I knew how you would destroy my biscuit stock I would have thought more about it..”
“Sorry…” The boy said, not looking sorry at all.
“I’ll manage, now get out!”
Ezra came out of the room with a light chuckle, acknowledging Hera and Kanan sleeping and just before going into his and Zeb room, he turned back to his friend and took her hand squeezing a little.
“Thank you, really, you’re a great friend.” he gently said.
“Just trying to keep up with you.”
With those words, they stepped away and said bye as both of their doors closed. And they went to sleep with a lighter heart.
***
A few days later, Ezra was happy to see the ghost come back with his friends on board, while Kanan and himself stayed on Attolon to keep practicing. Just as the ship landed Ezra ran to welcome them, Kanan not so far away from him.
Sabine came out first.
“How was the mission” he asked, reassured seeing Zeb’s smile right behind her.
The girl took off her helmet, “Fine, nothing special to report. We were able to get the cargo without being spotted and left as quietly as we came in.” Her grin growing “Zeb, can you take my place for the report please?”
“Yeah, sure kid!”
Sabine turned back to Ezra “Come with me.”
Ezra followed her as they both walked rapidly towards the back of the mountain which served as the center of their base. It was a quiet place, with still a few people working on small fighters and a couple of droids.
“Why are we here?” Ezra said with his big dumb smile.
“I have something for you.”
“A present?!”
“Yes Ezra, a present.” She carefully took something out of her pocket, it was wrapped in a dark tissue. She placed it in the palm of her hand and slowly opening up right in front of Ezra’s impatient gaze. Inside of the tissue was resting a colorful form, as if two hearts were kissing each others. It was purple with delicate orange lines on both sides.
“A rock!” Ezra loudly said, still looking excited eyeing at the pebble in his friend’s hand.
“Yeah, I found it on the mission, made me think of you, so I took it and painted it.” Sabine said slowly, looking at her friend.
“It looks like a butterfly!”
“Yes, It does!”
“Wait, let me guess. Is it something like ‘One day you are going to come out of your shell and fly all around the world?” He said smirking at her.
She laughed, giving the rock to him, “If you want it to mean that, it can. But as far as I’m aware, you are already out of your shell and flying to space”.
“Oh yeah you’re right!” His smile glowed brighter.
“But mostly it is a reminder that you are awesome and if you ever feel like you want to talk you know you can come to me.”
The boy looked at her like he was about to burst out crying.
“Can I hug you?” He said gently holding his present to his chest.
“Eh, yeah, come here.”
They hugged for a little while and then both went to the mess to eat a bit, giggling. Both happy with the other’s happiness.