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She took a bottle of vodka and a glass from the cabinet. The dim light of the desk lamp in the office was reflected in the brightly lit window outside. Isobel sat back in her chair and took a sip of the newly poured wine. She didn't care how long it had been since Jubal, the last to leave, urged her to go home and rest before turning off the lights in the JOC office.
Her thoughts went back to two years ago, when her agent was corrupt and she never found out till his boy was kidnapped. There were signs. Three expensive heart surgeries. How could she not have noticed? What made her even more upset was that she was betrayed by someone she trusted, who could have turned to her for help. Maybe from everyone’s point of view, she was that kind of person who didn't deserve anything but a subordinate relationship.
She shook her head, trying to clear her mind, and returned to the file. "The trauma caused by the suspect's mother, who committed suicide by throwing herself on a train ten years ago, made him..." Trolley Problem, save five or one? Mathematically, it was the latter, or at least that was what ADIC Reynolds thought. But if that person was someone you knew well, someone turned out to be one of your subordinates? Her heart ached when she saw Elise with a bomb attached to her neck, tears streaking her makeup. But you didn't have the authority to make a unilateral decision like that, Isobel. “Of course you do. You just don’t wanna pay the price.” A part of her knew that Vargas was right; What about the hundreds of people being killed and the families being threatened because of Vargas's drug trade, Isobel? At the other end of the track lay not five people, but hundreds of lives. It had been an unsolved problem, a classic moral dilemma, but somehow was laid in front of her. Time was ticking, and the train was heading towards the fork. She pulled down the switch with a trembling hand and closed her eyes. At least she had the chance to let Elise's daughter embrace her mother, rather than lose it early as she did, which seemed to be the only consolation from keeping her from drowning in the train moving to another track. For a dozen seconds after entering the code, her mind was calm. If they didn’t make it, she would atone for not choosing them with her life. She had no one to care about, and no one cared about her; If it worked, Elise's daughter wouldn't have to go through the pain of losing her family again. A little voice in her mind secretly hoped the former would happen, because she wasn't ready to deal with the latter -- or, more specifically, the consequences of making that choice. Carrying the guilt of hundreds of lives would slowly swallow her up and tear her apart.
Given the inefficiency, Isobel closed the opening file, drained the rest of the wine in her glass, and sighed as she looked at the stack of files on her desk. Leave it till tomorrow.
Isobel had never realized how long the descent from the 27th floor would be. The cold metal box made her feel slightly uneasy, but this feeling seemed to be dissociated from her body.
Walking out of 26 Fed, the biting wind woke her up a lot. She shrank her neck and wrapped herself in her coat. The dim yellow street lights beside the empty street reflected the snowflakes fluttering in the wind, but she didn’t care.
It all happened too quickly: footsteps were heard behind her, but before she looked back, she felt a sharp pain. With the sound of the gun, she fell down.
The frost on the cold ground numbed her body. She had come close to death several times, but never so close as now. She was kind of detached from the pain of this body. Jess... Is that how you felt? This year, she had lost too much, including one of her few closest friends; This year, too much had happened, she couldn’t get the sound and image of Maggie struggling out of her mind. The guilt in all directions had been slowly drowning her into the darkness, and she had lost the only straw within her reach.
Snow fell on her hair and eyelashes, and everything in front of her became blurred and dazzling. Soon, soon, everything will be over. No fear, no fright. She was surprised at her calmness. There was no struggle, no resistance, only acceptance. No one in this world she cared about or cared about her. This was what she deserved. No one would save her, because she wasn’t being saved, and she would take it calmly.
All she could see was white. So, this is where it all ends? Isobel didn't know or want to know the answer to the question. She didn't care. She was the only one there. She was alone, as always. She heard muffled voices that seemed to come from outside the glass. "Hold on Izzy!" "You can do it. Don't give up. I know you can!" "Isobel we can't lose you. You gonna fight!” Though they were distorted, she knew it was her team.
Everyone of the team appeared in front of her, but her mind was unable to run and tell whether this was reality or just a dream. They smiled at her, "We got you Isobel. You're not alone." Maggie held out her hand. “Take my hand, Isobel.” “Am I worth it?” Maggie looked at her gently and firmly. "Of course, you're our Isobel. You have our back, and we have yours."
Her team became the straw that rescued her from the darkness at the last moment. She was never alone. Isobel slowly reached out to Maggie, and as soon as her fingertips touched hers, everything disappeared. In front of her were Jubal, OA and Elise. The rapid movement of the ceiling made her realize that she was on a gurney rushing to the emergency room. Jubal held her hand tightly. A shadow of a smile touched her mouth. Isobel gently squeezed his hand back. She knew she had a reason to stay.