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Lucy arrived home, her two hour drive around the more scenic parts of the island had done nothing to help her decompress or feel less emotional.
She unlocked the door to her apartment, setting her keys on the kitchen counter top and moving straight towards the bottle of bourbon that she knew was still three quarters full in the cupboard. As she grabbed it down, she set it in front of her and leant on the counter with both hands, closing her eyes momentarily and taking a deep breath.
Today had just about pushed her to her limit. She was exhausted, a sinking feeling in her stomach as she reflected on the days events.
The awkward encounter with Whistler at the beach this morning.. her brain betraying her efforts to keep her longing for the taller blonde under wraps. Her heart dropping to the pit of her stomach as she and Jesse rushed to back her up, the relief that quickly turned to anger when she realised how much worse things could’ve turned out.. the feeling of once again being kept in the dark when she learned of the job offer that Whistler had turned down.. coupled with an annoying affection that was ever more present after the suggestion that she had turned down that job offer to remain closer to Lucy.
Lucy couldn’t decide if this made things better or worse. She had been shocked by the revelation..still couldn’t quite get her head around it. The mention of the horrendous evening involving Cara and the emotions that this brought back up.. Lucy’s brain felt completely battered by it all.
All of the days events compacted by feelings of guilt and concern for Whistler which were growing by the minute, and Lucy seriously started to question her decision to leave her standing there alone, teary-eyed in the bullpen.
Lucy had felt herself on the verge of breaking, she had to do something and fleeing felt like her only option in that moment to avoid completely falling to pieces in front of Whistler. But how had she got home? Had someone driven her? Would there be anyone to keep an eye on her overnight? What if Whistler was still at work?
Lucy picked up her phone, scanning briefly over the two text messages that she’d received from Skylar. She was clearly pissed after Lucy had sent another short message cancelling their plans for this evening. She couldn’t bring herself to compose a meaningful or even remotely engaging response so she flicked the screen to clear the notifications, as if it would make them disappear indefinitely.
Lucy kept her phone in her hand, scrolling to Whistler’s number in her contacts. Her thumb hovered over the ‘call’ option and remained there for a few moments. It started to shake. Lucy sighed, locked her screen, pushed her phone into her back pocket and closed her eyes. Leaning against her counter over the sink, she let a couple of seconds pass before she reached to retrieve her car keys.
———
Lucy drove in the direction of Whistler’s apartment, stopping at a nearby Mexican restaurant to grab a selection of food for them both. She knew Whistler well enough to know that she wouldn’t have even considered eating with everything that had occurred during the day. Lucy hadn’t eaten herself and besides, this would give her more of an excuse to turn up at Whistlers unannounced after how things had been left between them a couple of hours ago.
40 minutes later, Lucy arrived at Whistler’s apartment building and grabbed the food from her passenger seat, making the long ascent in the elevator to the twelfth floor.
Painful memories of her last encounter in the elevator came flooding back but she surpressed them, focusing on the task at hand - to make sure Whistler was okay. Her head telling her that it wasn’t her place anymore.. her heart completely contradicting that thought.
Lucy reached the door to 1204 and took a deep breath, her hand clutching painfully to the bag of food in an attempt to stop herself from shaking. Her stomach did a somersault as she knocked gently on the door. The moment she lowered her hand and nervously shoved it into her front pocket, she suddenly lost her appetite whilst she waited silently, holding her breath to listen for any movement from within the apartment, staring, fixated on a slight imperfection in the paint on the doorframe that she hadn’t noticed before.
After a few long seconds, Lucy heard soft footsteps approaching from within. A pause - before the chain slid and the door opened to reveal a disheveled but beautiful Whistler, still in the same clothes that she had been wearing in the bullpen, barefoot, her arm still in its sling and her face obviously tear stained, eyes glistening and puffy. Lucy released her breath.
“Lucy” Whistler stated quietly. Her mouth open slightly, brow furrowed in confusion.
“I brought food - figured you wouldn’t have eaten.. and you need to if you’re gonna be taking pain meds so…” Lucy said matter-of-factly, clutching the bag in front of her.
Whistler looked at the bag that was being lifted before her. Still confused, clearly unsure of what was meant to happen next.
“Look I don’t have to stay, I can just leave this with you. I just wanted to make sure you got home - wouldn’t have got much rest tonight not knowing” Lucy explained, pursing her lips as she looked down at her feet.
“No… no, come in” Whistler responded. Moving aside to allow Lucy to walk gingerly past into the apartment.
It was dark. Other than a small reading lamp illuminated in the far corner of the lounge there were no lights on. No television, not even the bluetooth speaker softly showcasing her god-awful taste in music. Lucy had never known the place to be so quiet or so dingy.
She set the bag of food down on the kitchen counter and turned to ask “want me to put this on a plate for you?”
Whistler shook her head no “it’s fine, I’ll have it as it is. Thank you” Whistler turned to walk slowly towards her couch, not even offering Lucy the option to get a plate for herself, knowing that she would always opt to eat out of the carton to save on washing up.
Lucy grabbed the bag of food and followed, sitting at the opposite end of the couch before dividing the food out into their respective portions. “Thank you” Whistler said gingerly, not making eye contact but staring at the food on the coffee table in front of her.
Lucy glanced over at her and watched as Whistler awkwardly opened one of the food containers with her good hand. She looked truly defeated. Lucy had never seen her so sad. She didn’t know it was possible for Whistler to appear so broken. The strong, assertive Whistler that she had known and butted heads with professionally for so long.. the contrast between the person sat in front of her and the Whistler she tried so hard to resist and cast off prior to their most recent coming together.. it was like knowing two different people. The familiar pang of guilt returned and Lucy tore her eyes away in an effort to stub it out.
“How did you get home?” Lucy asked quietly.
“Curtis sorted me a lift. He’s going to get someone to bring my car back tomorrow” Whistler explained, picking gently at the edge of a taco.
“And do you have meds? For the pain?” Lucy asked.
“Up there. I haven’t opened them yet” Whistler nodded towards the kitchen counter. She continued to focus her attention on her food, not wishing to chance making eye contact with Lucy for fear that it would trigger more tears.
Lucy took a bite of her food, swallowing slowly as she asked “I’m guessing you were released on the condition that someone would be with you overnight? Because of your head?”
Whistler responded “I’m fine, the headaches gone. I’ve had plenty of nights on my own, I’m sure I can survive another” she cringed at her own words, she hadn’t meant for that to come across as a dig or a subtle request for sympathy.
“That wasn’t what I asked” Lucy stated, monotone.
“Lucy if they were that worried they would’ve kept me in” Lucy wanted to argue, but figured it wouldn’t help matters.
“Will you let me stay on the couch for tonight, just so someone is here.. just incase” more a statement than a question.
“Honestly Lucy, you don’t need to do that. I’ll be fine, I don’t want you to give up the rest of your night to sit here. To be honest, I think it’s probably best that I’m on my own” Whistler explained, taking a small bite of her food.
Lucy set down her food carton on the coffee table, finishing her mouthful as she leant forward and played with her fingers, elbows resting on her knees.
“I’m sorry about earlier. About leaving you. I had planned to offer you a ride home when I saw that you were still there.. I just.. I said too much and.. I couldn’t stand there and fall to pieces again”.
Whistler swallowed the small mouthful she had been chewing on before chancing a brief look over at Lucy who appeared to be looking at the floor in front of her. “You don’t have to apologise. This was my doing” she replied softly.
A soft silence fell between them before Whistler continued. “I really was going to tell you about the job offer you know. I just..” she paused, unsure of how to word this, conscious of the eggshells that she needed to preserve if she had any chance of Lucy giving her the time to continue to explain herself.
“You played a big part in me turning it down.. and that’s alien to me.. to make a choice on a career move, taking someone else into consideration.. having feelings influence my decision. I didn’t want to scare you off, to have you know so early on that I’d made a call on something that you’d know was important to me, based on what we may or may not be. I didn’t know if it would be too much too soon” Whistler explained, picking at the edge of her coffee table with one hand as she spoke, the other still safely secured in the sling.
She turned to look at Lucy fully then, grimacing slightly at the pain that shot through her ribs as she did so.. something which seemed to catch Lucy’s attention as she averted her gaze from the floor to Whistler’s face.
Lucy slowly finished chewing and swallowed her food with more difficulty than should’ve been necessary.
Whistler took a deep breath before continuing, “I know you don’t want to hear everything I have to say and.. I get it. But.. I just want to say one thing. One thing and then you’ll hear nothing more from me about it” Whistler swallowed thickly, waiting for Lucy to run. Waiting for her to refuse to listen.
Lucy shifted as she curled one of her legs up onto the couch, leaving the other dangling. She didn’t speak, but sighed softly and looked into Whistler’s eyes. Silent permission to continue.
Whistler took a shaky breath, the fingers of her good hand now playing with the zip of her hooded sweatshirt. She opted for fiddling with the inside of her pocket instead when she felt her hand start to shake.
“I just.. I need you to know that..” Whistler stalled, glancing up at the ceiling and swallowing harshly again as if it would make all of her nerves disappear. She glanced at Lucy who was still looking intently at her, body turned towards her as if she was giving her her undivided attention.
“I love you” Whistler stated softly. Lucy’s eyes widened, she looked startled. Ordinarily able to read her so well, Whistler became worried that she couldn’t tell if this was a good sign or not. She felt her eyes starting to brim with fresh tears as she averted her gaze back to the floor and the thought of Lucy not wanting to hear her declaration crossed her mind.
She blinked in a desperate effort to stop the tears from coming. It worked for now, so she looked into Lucy’s eyes again and continued “I know, given everything that happened..it might seem as though I have a funny way of showing it.. but it’s true. And I just.. before we draw a line under this completely I need you to know that.. because I don’t want you to look back on this thinking that what we had was worthless or meant nothing to me..”
Whistler’s eyes betrayed her then and a single tear slipped down her left cheek. “because.. well.. that couldn’t be further from the truth” she swallowed and forced herself to continue looking directly at Lucy who looked as if she had her own battle going on and she too would soon have to admit defeat and allow her eyes to shed the tears glistening in the glow of the soft light in Whistler’s apartment.
Whistler took another breath before saying “I know this doesn’t change anything.. I know that you’re angry and I know that.. the way things have turned out.. and the fact that I’m responsible for hurting you so badly.. I know I’m going to live to regret it” She paused for a couple of seconds before reiterating “I will live to regret losing this” she looked down at her knees sheepishly as she gave in and allowed the tears to fall, her bottom lip quivering slightly causing her to draw it into her mouth in an attempt to still it.
“There’s so much more I could say.. but.. that’s what I needed you to hear. I don’t expect you to have a response to it.. and Lucy, I really appreciate you coming over here to check up on me but I really think I’d be better left alo-“
“Say it again” Lucy interrupted softly, shifting slightly on the couch to move closer to her.
Whistler looked at Lucy, tears still tracking their way down her cheeks, her mouth downturned. She saw that Lucy’s tears had also won their own argument and were trailing down her face too. Whistler opened her mouth but no words came out.
Lucy interjected again, trying to make herself clearer “the first thing you just said. Say it again” Whistler watched as Lucy swallowed nervously.
This wasn’t the reception she had expected. She hadn’t really prepared for this. All hope of Lucy not running a mile after hearing this declaration had been diminished in the bullpen earlier.
Whistler engaged her brain enough to look Lucy in the eyes and repeat “I love you” more confidently this time, more matter-of-fact, shrugging her shoulders slightly as she did so - as if it was common knowledge.. as if it was something that Lucy had known for eternity. Hand pulling furiously at a loose thread in her pocket, Whistler watched as Lucy took her bottom lip into her mouth and once again gave in to the fresh tears that were threatening to fall from her beautiful brown eyes.
Lucy kept her head lowered as she reached forward and shifted to sit directly in front of her. Whistler was turned towards her, her back resting against the arm of the couch. As Lucy looked up, she took hold of Whistler’s good hand, bringing it out of its hiding place and sandwiching it between her own two. Sighing, she softly ran her thumb across the back of it.
Lucy’s phone buzzing on the coffee table startled them both slightly. They glanced at it in unison. 3 new messages from Skylar since Lucy had left her apartment and driven here. On top of the two she had already received by the time she had finished aimlessly driving around earlier. Lucy sighed.
“Someone’s keen to get hold of you” Whistler commented, clearing her throat in an effort to distract from the blatant jealousy in the statement that she had just delivered.
Lucy, hands still covering her own, shifted as she too cleared her throat and said “it’s not important”.
Whistler looked at her quizzically, eyebrows raised, worrying the inside of her bottom lip with her teeth.
Lucy sighed, unable to keep this from her or even bother trying to cover it up. “It’s someone I’ve been on a couple of dates with. I was due to meet her tonight but I struggled to find the enthusiasm so I cancelled.. again” Lucy shook her head.
Whistler took a deep breath, closing her eyes and removing her hand from Lucy’s two, using it to scratch a non-existent itch at the front of her hair line, swallowing as she tried to prevent fresh tears from falling, her hand coming up to press against her forehead, pinching as if she was trying to get her eyebrows to meet one another. Her worst fears had been confirmed. She had suspected, but it dawned on her then that she really wasn’t ready to hear it.
“I’m here. Not on a date with her” Lucy pointed out softly, shrugging her shoulders lightly and taking Whistler’s hand back into her possession, as if she was in Whistler’s head, aware of all of her thoughts.
Lucy took a deep breath before explaining “I’ve tried to move on the best way I know how but it hasn’t worked. It’s not working.. I’m not convinced it will” She admitted, before sheepishly adding “I don’t think I want it to”.
It was Whistler’s turn to look surprised. Lucy brought one hand up to cup her face softly, running her thumb along Whistler’s cheekbone, beautifully defined by the shadows cast upon her face by the low light in the apartment. Lucy leaned in to press their lips carefully together. Whistler was stilled for a couple of seconds before she willed her brain to register what was happening. She slowly started to respond, moving her lips lightly against Lucy’s.
Whistler pulled back, looking directly into Lucy’s glistening eyes. “What are you saying Lucy?”
Lucy pursed her lips into a small smile “That I don’t think I can keep doing this. Pretending I’m alright with how we are. I’m still angry, and I’m still hurt..I don’t know if we can get back to how we were but.. I’d like to try”.
Whistler’s lips quivered momentarily as her eyes brimmed once again with more unshed tears “You’re sure?” She asked, sniffing softly as she squeezed Lucy’s hand.
Lucy nodded in response. “And what about your date?” she asked, glancing again at Lucy’s cell phone.
Lucy looked down at their hands, fingers now intertwined. “I’ll call her in the morning. I think it’s already fairly obvious but.. I’ll give her an explanation tomorrow” Lucy stated.
“What’s fairly obvious?” Whistler enquired.
“That I’m completely incapable of giving her what she’s looking for” Lucy responded as Whistler looked down at their hands, intertwined.
“I think you’ve ruined me for anyone else” Lucy joked, gently pinching the tip of one of Whistler’s fingers.
Whistler smiled again “I could say the same for you” Lucy shook her head.
“No TV tonight? No ridiculously sophisticated playlists?” Lucy changed the subject, looking around the apartment as if she would find something that would give her a clue as to what Whistler had been up to prior to her arrival.
“No.. I was just sat here thinking”“About?”
“Today.. from start to finish really. Mainly the finish” Whistler admitted quietly, glancing at Lucy before refocusing her gaze on the thumb that was tracing soft circles on the back of her hand again.
“What did you do after you left?” Whistler asked.
“Drove. I drove around thinking it would calm me down or make me feel less.. shitty. I got home and was about to pour myself a drink when I decided I wouldn’t feel any better until I made sure you were home” Whistler looked at Lucy sympathetically.
There were a few moments of silence then before Lucy cleared her throat slightly and tentatively asked “So.. how were things left.. with you and Cara?”
Whistler leaned back against the arm of the couch, taking Lucy’s right hand with her.
“I told her everything. I was honest about thinking that we were on the same page with things. I told her that I didn’t feel that I needed to officially end things because of how we’d grown apart since I moved here”
“And she bought that?” Lucy asked in disbelief.
“Lucy, when I say we were together, I mean it in the loosest sense. Yes, we had some form of relationship but we could sometimes go a couple of weeks without seeing one another. We both had busy jobs and after I accepted the position here and was preparing to leave DC, the time we spent together became less and less regular.. I admitted that I’d probably used that as my reasoning to not officially finish with her - wrongly or rightly. Nobody likes being the one to put an end to things.. to risk hurting someone’s feelings so I did nothing thinking that we both knew where we stood. It was wrong of me and I realise that now.. I also told her about you..”
“Oh” Lucy but her bottom lip in suspense.
“Yeah, you can imagine how well that went down. When I came back in after following you to the elevator, she knew. I didn’t try and hide it. She didn’t stay long after you left” Lucy nodded, focusing her attention on the food cartons laid on the coffee table.
“I realise now that I treated both of you badly. It wasn’t intentional, I just didn’t think.” Whistler said, shaking her head, a pang of guilt casting an audible shadow across her words.
A comfortable silence fell between them as Lucy continued to play lightly with Whistler’s fingers, still encompassed in both of her hands. She supported the hand in one of hers, cradling it as she ran her index finger from Whistler’s pulse point, down the length of her palm, coming to a stop at the tip of her slender middle finger.
Lucy sighed and watched as Whistler attempted to suppress a yawn “You need to sleep, Whistler” Lucy observed, moving an errant strand of blonde hair away from her face, careful not to graze over the cut at her hairline.
Whistler replied “I need to shower first”.
“You gonna let me stay and make sure you don’t end up needing to go back to tripler?”
Whistler nodded “only if you want to, please don’t feel obli-”.
“Yeah, I want to” Lucy gave a final squeeze of her hand before standing and offering Whistler her own to help her off of the couch, grimacing as she saw Whistler struggle to get herself to her feet. Lucy then led the way to the bathroom to help Whistler undress so that she could get herself showered.
There was nothing sexual about it - Whistler was really hurt and Lucy saw just how badly as she helped remove her loose t-shirt, exposing the expanse of bruises already developing up her side and over her abdomen. Her beautiful body.. Lucy thought back momentarily to finding Whistler on the floor earlier that day. Thoughts of how this could’ve all turned out flooded back into her brain. Lucy closed her eyes and swallowed thickly, looking up at Whistler with concern in her eyes.
“Hey, it’s not as bad as it looks” Whistler said, trying to reassure her.
“You’re a terrible liar Whistler” Lucy responded, supporting her as she stepped out of her tracksuit pants.
“So how many times have you cancelled on your date?” Whistler asked, intrigued and wishing to change the subject.
Lucy rolled her eyes “Three. Four including tonight. Except tonight I feel I have a valid excuse. Jesse was teasing me for cancelling on her to watch the Great British Bake Off the other day”
Whistler couldn’t contain her smile “You know what..I always did love that show” she commented slyly.
Lucy huffed out a silent laugh, rolling her eyes a second time and prodding Whistler gently on her good shoulder. “Get in the shower” she instructed before turning to leave the bathroom to give Whistler some privacy.
Lucy busied herself in the kitchen, putting leftovers in the fridge and pouring some water for them both before taking it through to the bedroom along with Whistler’s pain relief medication.
When she heard the water shut off and a lack of movement from the bathroom, Lucy knocked and called through the door “You ok Whistler? Need some help?”.
A muffled response of “Uhh.. yeah, if that’s okay” followed. Lucy walked in to find Whistler with her bottom half wrapped in a towel. Her top half bare save for the t-shirt that she had managed to get over her head but hadn’t got her arms through. It was essentially a scarf.
“Don’t you have something you can button up?” Lucy asked, smirking, amused at the sight before her.
“That’s probably a better idea” Whistler considered. “Could you grab something for me? There should be a grey flannel shirt in my dresser - second drawer down I think”
Lucy made her way to locate it and upon her return, found Whistler completely naked, drying the last of the water from her ankles and feet. Whistler winced as she slowly straightened herself up and
Lucy took the towel from her, folding it over the towel rail “You should’ve let me do that” she stated as she held up the shirt, ready for the taller agent to loop her arms into.
“Thank you” Whistler said, watching as Lucy turned her by her hips and started to button the shirt up. Lucy couldn’t help but brush her fingers against the soft skin of Whistler’s abdomen and she felt Whistler’s eyes on her, heard her breath catch in her throat. Lucy met her gaze as she finished the last two buttons, instantly recognising the look in Whistler’s eyes.
“Don’t get any ideas. You’re hurt” she said. Whistler opened her mouth, brow furrowed, poised for an argument. Lucy cut her off before she could even start “Consider this payback for that night I had to drink through a straw and you refused to let me touch you because I needed to rest” Lucy quipped, quoting the last part verbatim from what Whistler had said to her on that occasion, doing her very best impersonation.
Whistler closed her eyes in frustration “I knew you’d use that against me at some point” Lucy smiled, lowering herself to the floor to hold Whistler’s panties whilst she stepped into them, pulling them up with her as she stood, bringing the oversized flannel shirt over the top of them, allowing herself the lightest brush against one of the cheeks of Whistler’s ass. It must’ve gone unnoticed… or Whistler just didn’t want to bother mentioning it as she said “Thank you” leaning in to place a chaste kiss to Lucy’s forehead, cupping her cheek.
Lucy smiled and turned her face into Whistler’s palm, placing a kiss at the pulse point on her wrist. “Your meds are next to your bed with some water” Lucy explained as she turned to walk out of the bathroom.
Whistler picked up her toothbrush and turned to call after Lucy “Are you still sleeping on the couch?” unable to hide the disappointment in her voice and darting across her features. Lucy pursed her lips and shrugged.
“I can behave, I promise” Whistler bargained.
Lucy smiled “Judging by how little you’re able to move without wincing I’m not sure you’d have a choice Whistler” given that Lucy just witnessed her struggling to even stand upright without visibly being in pain, Whistler knew she couldn’t argue.
“I’ll find you some clothes. There’s towels in the cupboard if you want to shower” Lucy nodded in acknowledgement and went to shut off the light in the lounge before selecting a perfectly folded towel from the ridiculously organised linen cupboard. As she approached the bathroom, Whistler intersected her and passed her an old khaki t-shirt and black sleep shorts. Folded on top were a familiar pair of panties. Lucy’s own for that matter - she must have left them here prior to the disastrous Cara evening.
Lucy ran her hand down Whistler’s uninjured arm as she took the pile of clothing from her and headed into the bathroom to shower.
When she emerged, she found Whistler laid on her back on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. “I can’t get comfortable” she huffed.
“Did you take some meds?” Lucy asked. Whistler nodded affirmatively. Lucy brought herself to Whistler’s side of the bed. “Hopefully they’ll kick in soon. Can you sit up a little?” She asked and watched as the injured agent awkwardly tried to re-adjust herself, Lucy moving her pillows to afford her head a little more support.
Lucy grabbed another pillow from the other side of the bed and positioned this under Whistler’s injured arm to support it and take the strain off of her shoulder. “Better?” She asked as Whistler seemed to settle into position. “Much better, thank you” she said, grabbing at Lucy’s fingers with her free hand.
Lucy broke the contact as she stepped out of reach and made her way round to the other side of the bed, plumping her own pillow up slightly against the headboard. As she did so, she revealed a t-shirt which was nearly folded underneath. She recognised it instantly as her own - an old athletics top that swamped her. She had brought it to Whistler’s to sleep in one weekend not long after they’d rekindled things in the parking lot at work. It had remained there, usually under this pillow, often washed by Whistler and folded intricately. Whistler watched as Lucy picked it up and held it in the air, giving her a quizzical look.
“This might be weird but I didn’t want to move it” Whistler explained, biting her bottom lip, feeling her cheeks flush with embarrassment. Obviously she had changed the sheets a number of times since Lucy had last stayed, but each time it came to placing the pillows back on the bed, Whistler couldn’t bring herself to put it anywhere else.
“You mean to tell me you’ve been sleeping with one of my t-shirts for the last two months Whistler?” Lucy asked, amused.
“I only bring it out from under that pillow on the worst days” Whistler responded sheepishly. She hadn’t been able to bring herself to wash it. Since it’s last wash, Lucy had worn it once before it had been neatly folded under the pillow, awaiting her return. That hadn’t happened given the mess that was created later that night by Cara’s unannounced visit. Whilst Lucy’s smell had long since faded from the item of clothing, Whistler still found comfort in it on days where Lucy had been particularly cold to her, or when she’d had an awful day at work and came back to an empty apartment.
Lucy smiled and set the t-shirt down onto the floor next to the bed as she climbed in and settled herself beside Whistler, leaning on her side to face the blonde, sweeping stray strands of hair behind her ear.
Lucy looked into Whistler’s eyes. She’d missed this; the intimate moments. She’d missed not feeling as if she needed to prise herself away from Whistler’s gaze for fear of falling completely into her again.
“You have any idea how much you scared me today?” Lucy asked, eyes moving from Whistlers own, across her face and along her perfect jawline.
“I’m sorry” Whistler whispered, clasping her hand around Lucy’s wrist.
“Do it again and you will be” Lucy joked, her mouth forming into a lopsided smile. Whistler smiled back.
Lucy leant across Whistler to flick the light off, settling back beside her with her hand now softly resting on Whistler’s abdomen.
“I’m sorry I’ve been so hard on you”
“Luce, you already apologised.”
“No, not about today. Just… in general. I know I’ve been impossible at times”
“It’s nothing less than I’ve deserved” Whistler sighed.
“No, I still owed you a chance to explain. I still should’ve let you talk.. regardless of how angry I might’ve been”
“The opportunity that you gave me tonight to say what I needed to was more than I expected and I’m grateful for that” Whistler said, genuine gratitude present in her tone.
“I’m glad I did” Lucy whispered, placing a lingering kiss to Whistler’s temple.
“Mm… me too” Whistler responded just as quietly.
“I know there’s still more to talk about ..” Lucy started.
“Whenever you’re ready. If we’re doing this, it will go at your pace” Whistler said, gazing intently into Lucy’s eyes.
Lucy let a fleeting smile cross her lips before she placed a second kiss to Whistler’s temple and then another to her lips. “Get some sleep Whistler”
Whistler shut her eyes, sighing softly as she relaxed fully into the surround of pillows that Lucy had arranged for her. Lucy watched as the faint light from outside bounced softly from Whistler’s features.
“Hey” Lucy piped softly.
“Hmm?” Whistler responded sleepily, eyes opening slowly to focus on Lucy who was still turned towards her, her head propped up on one hand and the other still tracing soft circles on her abdomen.
“I love you too” Lucy answered, gently caressing Whistler’s stomach.
Whistler couldn’t contain her smile and ran the fingers of her good hand across Lucy’s cheek, down to rest under her chin to steer her in for one more kiss. “Still?” She enquired.
“Yes, still” Lucy confirmed, nodding slightly as she leant back in for another lingering touch to Whistler’s lips.
“So did you have this on your bingo card today?” Lucy asked teasingly.
Whistler laughed, wincing slightly at the pain it caused to shoot through her ribs. “Absolutely not, but I think I won the jackpot”
Lucy smiled, pressing a final kiss to Whistler’s forehead, settling her head onto the pillow. “Cheesy” she teased.
Whistler huffed out a soft laugh before falling quiet again, her eyes closed. Lucy listened in the dark as Whistler’s breathing deepened. There really was so much more to say.. so much more for them to work through and talk about.. but Lucy couldn’t deny that she felt whole for the first time in months. Closing her eyes, she breathed in, the familiar scent of Whistler and her surroundings lulling her into a peaceful sleep.