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Chapter Text

“Pervy Sage! Pervy Sage!” Naruto called as he waved through a crowd of villagers meandering through the midday market. The boy's clothes were dripping wet from chakra control training at a nearby lake, his goggles dangling around his neck. People gave him glares as he made his way to the old man.

“Hey, there tadpole! Make any progress on the chakra control?” Master Jiraya chuckled at the kid’s wet clothes and beaming face.

“You bet I did! I’m ready for the next part of my training!” Naruto looked at his newfound teacher with a gleam in his eye. He was ecstatic that someone was finally paying attention to him. Naruto was going to show everyone how amazing he was! That he was important and meant something! And this old geezer was helping him do just that.

“Alright but I’m going to warn you. The next part of your training is not for the faint of heart,” Jiraya said with a mockingly reverent tone that Naruto ate up.

“Whoa! So cool! What are we going to do? Summon lightning like Kakashi Sensei! Oh! Or maybe I’ll finally learn a cool new genjitsu!” Naruto’s mind filled with wonder at all of the possibilities.

“Well, you will have to see!” Jiraya made a comically large gesture of grandiosity and began walking toward the forest surrounding the Leaf Village with Naruto tailing him like a baby duck.

“What do you mean I have two types of chakras? I just focus on whatever I’ve got and boom! Shadow clone!” Naruto asked.

“Well, it’s not really something I can explain. And even if I could, I wouldn’t be able to help you use it.”

“Aw! That’s no fair old man! Why even bother psyching me up for this super cool new training if you can’t even teach me anything.”

“Now, now Naruto. I may not be able to teach you how to use your second chakra, but I promise you’ll learn how to use it. And quickly, too. After all, it’s in your blood”

“Really? How quickly? Before the Chunin Exam?” Naruto was practically vibrating. If he learned this new Jutsu then everybody in the village would stop treating him like a nobody and start respecting him! Then he wouldn’t have to be alone anymore.

“Well, in about four minutes. How does that sound? Fast enough for ya?” Jiraya winked at the kid.

“Whoah!” Naruto began nodding furiously.

“Alright, once we begin we cannot stop until it's over. Now I want you to think long and hard about this. Are you ready, Naruto?” The white-haired sage suddenly became very serious.

Naruto thought about all of those ice-cold stares he received back at the village. Sure, from an outside perspective it seemed like he didn’t even notice how everybody treated him. But he knew. The words freak and loser rang around in his head. The boy set his jaw in determination and looked up at this man who had so quickly become a father figure to him.

“I’m ready.”

A sudden gust of wind caught on the tree branches bringing with it the smell of barbeque and ramen from the nearby village. The forest clearing Naruto and Jiraya were standing in seemed serene for a single moment in time. Then the trees stood still.

Naruto didn’t have any time to react as Jiraya pressed two fingers to the yellow-haired boy’s headband. He felt his stomach drop and his head snap forward as he was propelled backward, through bushes and past trees.

His chest was gripped with fear and he couldn’t breathe as he felt weightless for a moment. Then he was falling. Naruto had been pushed all the way to the huge chasm behind him and was falling to his death. Euphoria filled his body as his stomach dropped. Confused and disoriented, Naruto opened his eyes, which had been scrunched shut in anticipation.

He recognized the blurred shapes whisking past him as a cliff and, looking beneath him, a giant gaping chasm ready to swallow him whole. Beyond the sensation of falling rapidly and the loss of air as he dropped swiftly into the darkness below, Naruto could feel betrayal rising in his throat.

What a spoiled kid.

He’s good for nothing. Pay him no attention, sweetheart.

Let’s just ignore him and hope he goes away.

Words of hate filled Naruto’s memories. Those eyes filled with fear and disgust haunted him. Naruto felt empty. Worthless. Like a mistake. He tried to do everything right but it seemed that the only thing he did wrong was exist. He continued to fall, the seemingly infinite darkness of the chasm getting closer with every heartbeat.

“Naruto!” Jiraya called down the chasm, a horrified look on his face, “Use your chakra! Summon a toad!”

Jiraya hadn’t expected this. He knew this training was dangerous but Naruto was such a knucklehead. He never gave up! So why wasn’t he doing anything? The toad sage fought back the urge to dive in after his student, but that would only be doing him a disservice. Jiraya believed that Naruto would figure it out on his own. He had to.

God, Mineto was going to kill him in the afterlife.

Why is Pervy Sage looking at me like that? What’s that look on his face? He’s scared. He’s scared of me. Just like everyone else.

I knew it.

Naruto looked down. He couldn’t see the bottom of this hole he was falling into but it didn’t matter. He had made up his mind. All Naruto ever wanted was to be accepted and he finally understood what he needed to do.

“NARUTO!” The boy heard his teacher calling but it seemed so far away.

He had been falling for forever and instinctively knew that the floor was seconds away. Naruto closed his eyes and relaxed. In an instant, he felt all of the air leave his lungs. The pain in his neck and the back of his head was excruciating. Then it wasn’t.

Naruto couldn’t feel anything. He couldn’t see anything, either. The only thing the boy could sense was the dull roar of chakra replacing all of the blood in his veins. It surged like the crashing waves of the ocean and he could only dully feel the blood leaving his body. He grew cold but his blood felt like a nice, warm bath. This wasn’t so bad.

Jiraya couldn’t believe what he had just seen. Had Naruto really just fallen to his death without making a single hand sign? He just . . . fell. Tears found their way down the old man’s cheeks as he stared, shell-shocked and expressionless as he stared down at the mangled and bleeding body of his godson.

Naruto felt cold. Or maybe he was hot. It was hard to tell but he thought the ice in his veins had been replaced with something so burning hot that it felt cold. Either way, his head didn’t hurt anymore. Nothing did.

Naruto.

A deep voice growled his name, followed by a surge of that icy hot chakra. The chakra began to sting a little bit, but it felt nice to feel something. It reminded Naruto of the spicy habanero ramen at Ichi Raku and the sweet pain and warmth it brought him on a bad day.

Naruto

The voice called to him again but he was barely able to register any sensations anymore. He felt so sleepy. His bones were tired and all he wanted to do was lay there and stop existing.

Well this is no good. A sarcastic deep voice deep within the boy mused. They hate you, you know.
I know. Naruto replied.
You know they’re the reason you are alone.
I know
They are the reason you are dying.
I know
You should hate them
I know

But I want them to love me. Naruto replied after a pause. His thoughts seemed small and far away

Don’t worry, child. You won’t need their love once I make them fear you.

The boy’s pain was completely gone and he understood. He understood all of the hate with which the villagers cut him. He could see-no feel- he could feel what they felt. A whole range of emotions but always hate. There was always hate for him in their hearts. He could feel it staring at him even this far from the village. Each of their eyes creating a new burn on his mind.

He could see those burns twisting and swirling around inside of him, creating endless red marks all over his skin. Lightning-shaped zigzag scars pulsing with red chakra, wanting to be released. Reaching out to grab hold of anyone or anything and burn it to ash.

Naruto didn’t want to hurt anyone but he was so tired. He was so tired. So . . .tired.

A swirling red chakra flooded the ground around the mangled body. It hovered for a moment as if thinking, then the red chakra surrounded Naruto’s body like a tornado. It pulsed an angry blood color and the chakra surrounding Naruto grew until Jiraya could no longer see him. The only thing Jiraya could see was the chakra he had asked the boy to use to save himself.

As if a switch had been flipped, the swirling red chakra stopped and pulled itself into the boy. His limbs began to snap into place in jarring movements. His nails grew into long talons and the marks on his cheeks grew more pronounced. Naruto’s eyes opened. They had become the color of the nine-tailed fox.

In an instant, the body of the boy was on all fours and leaping toward the top of the chasm. Jiraya jumped back in surprise but didn’t make it out of the way in time. The master’s shoulder connected with gleaming red claws.

Chapter Text

He was shaking. Why was he shaking? Was he hurt? He felt injured but more than that he felt exhausted. It was the kind of exhaustion that made him want to sleep until his bones became one with the earth. He tried to sit up but his skin screamed every time he moved. He looked down and could barely make out his own arm from the pool of blood it sat in.

Naruto’s breath hitched as he panicked and sat all the way up. Every movement made him feel like he was on fire.

“So, you’re finally awake.”

Naruto turned to look a Master Jiraya in horror. His godfather was slouched painfully against a decimated brick wall. His tattered shirt revealed a small portion of an ugly wound that stretched across the entirety of his chest.

“Wha-what happened?” Naruto closed his eyes, trying to recall what had led to this horrible situation. He locked eyes with his sensei and then he remembered the horrified look his teacher had given him. He had died.

Wait! He had died! He had fallen over 500 feet yet he had no broken bones from what he could tell.

The voice! That deep, mangled voice he always knew was there even though it had never called out to him before. The monster had done this. It had hurt Jiraya

“Jiraya Sensei! You’re hurt! What- what happened?” He didn’t want what he suspected to be true. There’s no way anyone would ever love him. He needed his teacher to love him.

Naruto scrambled to stand up but his feet buckled under the weight.

“You- you don’t remember anything?” Jiraya asked through pained gasps.

Naruto looked at the ground, waiting for Jiraya to curse him out and say that he’s a monster that would off been better off not existing in the first place.

“Naruto, you-” Jiraya cut himself off, a worried look crossing his face, “nevermind, let's just get to the nearest hospital. Do you think you can walk?”

Naruto looked up at his teacher in shock, tears now streaming down his face. He didn’t know why his teacher was lying but it was all he ever wanted in that moment. He nodded.

“I’m more worried about you, sensei. Here, let me help you up,” Naruto reached for Jiraya’s arm to help him stand. The old man flinched. It was barely noticeable but Naruto stepped back.

“Sorry,” Naruto whispered, barely audible.

“It’s not your fault, kid. C’mon, let’s go.”

“-Naruto are you even listening to me?” Jiraya asked.

“Huh? Oh.” Naruto was looking out of his hospital building, his eyes distant but on hearing his name being called, he turned to look at Jiraya.

Jiraya sighed, “As I was saying, it seems like the nine-tails inside of you saved you from being severely injured during the fall. You should be fine. . . . Hey, you’re not seriously injured! Aren’t you happy about that?”

Naruto wasn’t sure why Jiraya was saying this. Naruto knew that he had died. The nine-tail’s chakra didn’t prevent him from being injured. But it had healed him. At the cost of injuring his teacher.

He looked at his hands as he muttered, “That’s great.”

The boy was truly happy his teacher seemed to be okay. But he still remembered the betrayal. And he deserved it! He was a live monster. Why wouldn’t his sensei want to be rid of him?

“I think that we’ll dial back the training a little bit for now. What do you say? You can’t get stronger without rest, ya know!” Jiraya’s insincere smile bugged Naruto. He wasn’t as smart as Shikamaru or Sasuke, but he knew that his teacher was lying. Well, not lying per se, but he was definitely hiding something on purpose.

“How long?”

“Huh?”

“How long until we can begin training again?”

“Oh, well, let’s see . . .” the seasoned ninja frowned and bit his lip, “you know what, it’s hard to give an exact answer right now but ask me again when the doctor says you’re all better, alright?”

Naruto knew it. Jiraya didn’t want to train him anymore. Not after turning into a giant red fox, the embodiment of destruction and power. He had almost killed the man, after all.

Even though it hurt Naruto to nod and agree with his teacher, he knew that it was for the best. It was dangerous to let people get too close. Why he thought this old man would be the exception, he couldn’t say.

I’m only ever going to hurt people. No matter how badly I want a family, I would only ever hurt them. I’m no good.

“Hey, cheer up, kiddo! You’ll be out of here in no time. And in the meantime, someone special has come to say hello,” Jiraya smiled lightheartedly and rested his hand on Naruto’s shoulder before leaving the room.

Jiraya stepped to the side and bowed to the wisened gentleman before closing the door behind him. The man that stood before Naruto was old. He was much older than Jiraya, but Naruto knew better than to think lesser of him, too.

“It’s been a while, Naruto. I hope you are feeling better,” His deep voice was clear and punctual.

“Lord Third,”

“What, no nicknames?” Naruto stared uncomfortably at his hands as he sat in the hospital bed. He didn’t feel as brazen as he usually felt.

“I heard about what happened” Naruto’s heart began to beat quickly at Hirozen’s words. The Hokage sighed deeply and took the seat next to Naruto’s bed. His black piercing eyes scrutinized the boy. His eyes lingered on the faint outlines of red scars splayed across his arms and hands. Naruto tried to sink deeper into his pillow to avoid the gaze, suddenly very ashamed of being injured like this.

“That was incredibly reckless and you should have known better.” Naruto remained silent as his heart dropped to his stomach. “Imagine all the people you could have killed if Jiraya wasn’t there. I thought you were better than that beast but I guess I was wrong. You are a hazard and I can no longer have you running around without supervision. You are to stay in this room until Jiraya sends for you. Understood?”

Naruto’s eyes hardened but he kept his gaze fixed on his hands The red marks were only lightly visible and twisted around his hands and fingers in jagged lines. The yellow-haired boy didn’t nod his head or reply, but the Hokage wasn’t looking for a response. Hirozen simply gave him another once-over, as if to assess the damage, and left without another word.

It wasn’t until he heard the door shut firmly before he began to breathe again. The deep welcome gulp of air turned into hyperventilation and tears began to slide silently down his face.

The rest of the day was spent in a hazy fit of dreams that Naruto would have preferably woken up from but the painkillers the nurses gave him had other plans. In an out of consciousness, his reality swirled around him, flicking through memories like someone was trying to watch every television channel all at once.

He was a child, alone in his kitchen. He was hungry. The advertisement for the instant ramen in his hand assured him that it only took 5 minutes to make. That must mean even a kid can make it, right?

He carefully took the electric kettle full of boiling water off of its charger and aimed for the paper cup of dried noodles. The kettle’s handle was much too big for his small hands to grasp. As Naruto attempted to pour the boiling water, he dropped the kettle, spraying hot water all over his arms. He screamed.

And again, the memory shifted as they tended to do when the emotions they brought were too much for him to handle.

Naruto was at the park, watching the sunset. The other parents had already picked up their kids and he was alone on the swings. He swung hard, trying to reach the beautiful orange sky. Each kick brought him higher and higher. He felt like he could fly!

At that moment, it felt like anything he wished for would come true. On the highest part of the swing’s arc, Naruto launched his small body into the air, feeling weightless and loving the tickle of the wind on his face.

He prepared to land, knowing he had done this countless times before. He learned this trick from watching Sasuke from a distance but something was different about this time.

This time his right foot landed on a rock, causing him to roll his ankle.

The child collapsed. It hurt, but he didn’t cry this time. Nobody would have come anyways. What was the use of crying?

So he sat there, holding his breath until the pain was bearable and he could limp home.

A nurse adjusted his IV fluids, waking him up in the process. Someone handed him a cup filled with ice chips. His eyes closed again.

“You’re such a loser, Naruto.” A familiar voice addressed him directly. That voice acknowledged him. Sure, he was a loser, but at least now he was somebody. Being a loser was better than being a ghost.

“Just you wait, Sasuke. One day, I’m going to be Hokage. Then I’ll be even more popular than you!” Naruto taunted back. They were at the academy waiting for their teacher to arrive. As usual, all of the girls in the class flocked around Sasuke and as usual, Naruto sat alone at the back of the class.
Naruto had taken it upon himself to try and trip Sasuke as he walked to his desk but the dark-haired boy was sharp and easily avoided it.

“You’re such a loser, Naruto”

“Such a loser-”

Naruto thought about those words until the cotton in his head dispersed and he found himself staring into an empty hospital room filled with silver moonlight. A slight breeze made the curtains of the open window dance.

He found that he could sit up without much discomfort and, after a brief stretch and zero forethought, Naruto made his way out the window and across the village rooftops.

Chapter Text

Naruto felt better being outside. Something about the freedom and anonymity of the village at night helped him to breathe a little deeper. He knew that he would pay dearly for leaving his hospital room but he pushed that worry to the back of his mind and enjoyed the freedom while it lasted.

He ran and jumped and ran and jumped. The rooftops and telephone poles blended together as Naruto went into autopilot. He didn’t know where he was going but he felt like he was going to burst into tears. And he had learned nothing good came when he cried. Then again, nothing good happened when he was quiet either..

Naruto couldn’t think anymore. His thoughts were fuzzy and hard to hold onto. The only constant was the rhythmic beat of his feet hitting wood and the painful ache in his chest. He was great with physical pain. Even though most minor injuries healed after only a few hours thanks to the nine-tails chakra, he didn’t mind them. It was this intangible, dull pressure he felt that he couldn’t bear.

Naruto wasn’t an optimist. He knew how the village treated him. He knew that he was an outcast that many would be glad to be rid of and he knew that was wrong but knowing just made it feel worse. It was knowing that he should have had a chance at a good life that made him angry. And hopeless.

There was nothing he could do about it now. He doubted any part of his life was actually up to him.

He had been alone for longer than he could remember. Once upon a time, he thought of the Hokage as a parent but that was quickly proven wrong. The Hokage had never paid Naruto any special attention. The only attention he got from the Hokage was when he was acting up and causing havoc around the village. It seemed like the only thing he could do in the Hokage’s eyes was threaten the village. It was as if his presence alone was enough to make people angry.

Suddenly realizing that he had left the village a few minutes ago, Naruto blinked and looked at his familiar surroundings. Heaping piles of land and broken tree branches littered the area. He stepped around a toppled tree and walked toward the edge of the ravine.

Naruto had no idea why his feet had taken him there. He definitely did not want to be there, especially so soon, but the scene before him was overwhelming. Tears again began to fall down his cheeks but this time, they weren’t silent.

As he fell to the ground he felt a burning in his veins. Like the anger and the fear that was running through him were trying to escape from his skin. As he removed his shaky hands from his face to look at his palms, the pulsing hot anger of his veins became cold. He couldn’t feel the soft fabric of his bandages or the wind as it moved the trees. He couldn’t hear a single bird. All he felt was the distant, dulled sensation of coldness seeping through his veins as if he was no longer in his own body.

Naruto looked down at his hands. The jagged scars were glowing with a red chakra. It pounded like his heartbeat, glowing and lighting up the scars along his entire body. The red light emitted a soft glow all around him and at the bottom of the ravine, something glinted back at him. Naruto looked down the into the darkness he had fallen through earlier. It was his googles. They must've fallen off when he fell.

Slowly, Naruto felt heat around his fingertips. Then his toes. Then his shoulders, knees, and finally, his chest. He screamed. In anger or pain, he didn’t know. As he screamed, the red chakra caressing his veins shot out, exploding down the ravine in a burst of white-hot energy. The force of the explosion knocked Naruto backward. He coughed and struggled to breathe from the shock of landing and slowly made his way back to the ravine.

Naruto crouched at the edge to look down. The swirling red energy was already dissipating like smoke. His googles were gone.

Kakashi made his way through the forest to the Hidden Leaf Village, ready to report to the Hokage of his latest mission’s success when a large mass of red energy lit up the forest beside him. Deciding quickly, the white-haired ninja took a detour to assess the threat.

He dodged quickly from branch to branch, trying not to give away his location as he closed in on the source of the blast. This close to the village, Kakashi was worried about an ambush. A threat like this was worth looking into more, even if it meant delaying his report to the Hokage.

The trees eventually gave way to a clearing where the ground showed clear signs of a battle but nothing unusual. Slightly further than the largest mound of upturned earth sat a kid in a loud orange hoodie.. The kid’s bare feet dangled on the edge of a giant ravine, his shoulders slumped as he looked down into it.

Kakashi’s heart raced thinking about how close this kid was to the edge of the cliff. If there were enemies nearby then he was clearly in danger. Had he seen whoever had caused this mass destruction? Was he hurt? Clearly, there was nobody else around but that didn’t make any sense.

Deciding that the best course of action was to get this kid to safety, Kakashi adjusted his Anbu mask and approached him slowly. He tried to make a little bit of noise so as not to startle him off the edge with his usually silent footsteps but It didn’t matter as the boy didn’t seem to be paying attention to his surroundings.

Clearly, he wasn’t a leaf ninja or he would have been on his feet in seconds. Kakashi thought, taking a relieved breath. So if he wasn’t from the leaf village, who was this strange kid who appeared in the middle of a destroyed part of a forest and was crying on the edge of a cliff?

At this point, Kakashi could see that he was wearing a face mask that covered his nose and mouth. Was he sick? His hands, the only part of him visible, seemed to be wrapped in bandages.

“Hey, are you okay?” Kakashi asked, now standing casually a foot behind the boy in the orange hoodie. A loud sniffle escaped as Naruto turned around, tears already wiped. Naruto smiled, closing his eyes in a relaxed way and tilted his head playfully.

“Of course! Just got a bit of dirt in my eye.” He said through the mask.

Shit shit shit, this is bad. I’m not supposed to leave my hospital room and now I’ve got a member of the Anbu Black Ops asking me questions. Okay breathe, stay cool, just say you were training or something! Yeah! That’s a normal thing to do! Training!

“How come you’re out here in the middle of all of this rubble? What happened here?” Kakashi was straight to the point.

Fuck okay, I forgot it looks like someone set off 10,000 paper bombs here.

“Uh- I was- I was training!”

“In the middle of the night?”

“No time like the present!”

“And . . . You did all this?” Kakashi gestured absently to the destruction around them.

“What? No! Who, a kid like me? I’m certainly not capable of this. Just a normal ole kid, that’s me!” Naruto was standing now. He didn’t need any word of this moment reported back to the Hokage. He would definitely be locked up and forgotten about if that man knew anything about this.

“Okay . . . so what happened?”

“How should I know? Oh shit look at the time, I gotta go!”

“Wait, kid! You’re bleeding! Where are your shoes? You can’t just run- oh for fucks sake he’s already gone. He’s gonna get himself killed if he’s not careful. We’re in dangerous territory. Well, this will be an interesting report for sure.” Kakashi sighed. He was going to need more coffee, but first, he should figure out if there were any enemies in the immediate area.

Chapter Text

“Thank you for the thorough report, Kakashi. As always, your mission went perfectly according to plan. If that is all, you may go,” Lord Third Hokage set down the mission’s paper copy and locked his fingers together, looking out at Kakashi under the brim of his large hat.

“Actually, there is another thing I wanted to report.”

“Oh?”

“On my way back to the village there was a large burst of red energy. I went to investigate in case it was an ambush on the village but when I got to the worst of it, I found a boy. His face was covered so I couldn’t recognize him. He ran off before I could question him but by the looks of it, he was severely injured. There were no other people or unusual tracks in the immediate area. We should conduct a search of the area to make sure there is no threat.”

“Kakashi, I respect you as an elite member of the Anbu but really now, a kid playing alone in the woods is the least of our worries.”

“With all due respect sir, there was a large explosion of energy. I think it’s worth looking into to be certain of the village's safety. And the kid seemed injured but he ran away before I could get any more information. If he is a member of the leaf then we should dispatch a search party to make sure he is okay!”

The Hokage sighed deeply, turning his desk chair so he could look out the windows behind him, “Trust me, it would be safer for the village if that boy just disappeared one day and was never found.”

Kakashi bowed stiffly before leaving the Hokage’s office. How could the Hokage, of all people say something like that? It was as if he knew who that boy was. He probably did. Kakashi didn’t like it but he knew pushing the matter would only raise suspicion and it was better to ask for forgiveness than for permission. The Anbu Black Ops was not exactly a place where one could practice empathy for his fellow shinobi. He knew it shouldn’t, but watching that boy run off had really bothered him.

“Kakashi!” A familiarly animated called his name, enunciating every syllable as if to bring even more attention. Kakashi groaned. He had been too lost in thought to notice Mighto

Gai had spotted him and was ready to engage in “friendly conversation.”

Gai was always an interesting character. His stick-straight black hair had been cut into an unflattering bowl cut and his usual green body suit accentuated the disproportionately huge muscles the man sported.

“Not now Gai, I’ve just gotten back from a mission and I’m really not in the mood for one of your challenges right now,” Kakashi groaned, already turning to walk home.

“Of course! Rest is just as important as training! But I’ve simply come to ask how your latest mission went! I need all of the details from my rival if I am going to beat him in our next friendly competition,” Gai gave a toothy grin while extending his arm in a dramatic thumbs-up.

“You know I can’t do that. As part of the Anbu Black Ops, my missions are top secret. Telling you could jeopardize the village’s safety.” Kakashi sighed, walking away.

“I expect no less from my eternal rival, Kakashi! So tell me, why do you seem so down?” Mighto Gai had taken up stride next to his rival, crouching ever so slightly to be at eye level with the white-haired man who was always slouching.

“It’s nothing.”

“Clearly it is not nothing if it has you upset!” Kakashi could tell that Gai wasn’t going to let this go, so it was better to tell him about the boy already. It wasn’t like he could do anything about it anyways. He figured it would be useless to find him since Kakashi didn’t get to see his face. Kakashi wouldn’t have to worry about stopping Gai from enacting one of his less than thought-out plans this time.

“There was a kid.”

“Now that is interesting,” Gai’s response was completely genuine. He was already in deep thought, “Tell me more.”

Kakashi took a deep breath, his gaze studying the concrete road they were walking along, “I saw a huge red explosion and when I went to investigate, there was a kid just sitting there at the edge of that huge ravine. You know the one about half an hour West of here. He was covered in bloody bandages so he must have been injured well before the explosion, but nothing adds up. He seemed to be bleeding through the bandages and didn’t even notice me approaching him. The whole situation didn’t make much sense and he was wearing a mask so I have no idea who he is.”

“I see. That boy would make one hell of a rival! How big of an explosion did you say?”

“No, I don’t think it was him. He’s just a kid. He didn’t even notice me approaching him.”

“Well, then it seems like he needs a little training. What a great way to become a better Shinobi yourself, Kakashi!

“What?”

“Training the youth of tomorrow! How beautiful! If I didn’t already have my own pupil I would be extremely jealous of you right now!”

“No Gai, I’m not going to teach him. I just want to make sure he’s alright, that’s all. And it would help me determine if there’s any threat to the village. That’s my job.” Kakashi paused, looking Gai directly in the eye as if that would help make him understand, “As an Anbu.” He added for effect.

“Did Lord Third order you to investigate this?”

“No, but-” Actually, that conversation made me more worried about the whole situation. There’s some kid out there who is injured and the Hokage just told me to ignore him. Kakashi thought bitterly.

“Then it’s settled. The Hokage doesn’t think it is concerning and neither should we! I’ll help you find the boy. We will find him immediately!”

“Wait, Gai! We don’t even know who this kid is or even if he’s part of our village. Plus, as an Anbu Black Ops member, I don’t think the Hokage would take too kindly to me disrespecting his orders.”

“What about the orders you receive from your heart?” Mighto Gai looked at Kakashi, his signature toothy grin spread across his face. He was always saying weird stuff like that.

“My heart?” Kakashi was so done. What was Gai even implying? Sometimes he simply didn’t know.

‘“What did you want the Hokage to say? To find the kid? Make sure he was okay? Figure out how a kid caused a giant explosion of chakra and teach him how to harness it with the power of youth?”

“Well- yeah, I mean no-” Even Kakashi’s quick wits were having a hard time following Gai’s logic. He still had a hard time believing that the kid had anything to do with creating that giant explosion.

“Then it is settled. I’m not a member of the Anbu Black Ops and I didn’t receive any orders from the Hokage, but I will help you follow the orders of your heart. We all need someone we can rely on.” Gai had already turned to leave while Kakashi stopped walking, mouth open in disbelief behind his mask.

“Gai you can’t just-”

“Never tell Mighto Gai what he can do!” and with that, the man in the spandex suit was already running toward the ravine Kakashi has spoken of earlier, leaving his rival in the dust. Kakashi decided he needed more coffee before dealing with this new development and promptly walked the rest of the way home.

Kakashi could always count on his friend to make him feel better. He really did hope Gai found the boy. At least one weirdo always had his back. It was more than the other Anbu members had.

Chapter Text

What a drag Shikamaru thought. Naruto had gone and landed himself in the hospital again. And of course, the Third Hokage would not be happy about it, which is why Shikamaru was carrying a to-go bag filled with Ichi Raku ramen and extra fishcakes.

Actually, Shikamaru wasn’t even supposed to know that Naruto was currently in hospital room 201 for various chakra-inflicted injuries after a training session with Jiraya sensei. What the old man didn’t know wouldn’t kill him. The Hokage should really be more discrete if he didn’t want Shikamaru finding this stuff out. What Shikamaru didn’t expect was the hospital room to be empty and the third-story window to be wide open.

That idiot! This is such a drag. Why can’t he just sit still? But Shikamaru knew that simply wasn’t Naruto’s style. It was one of the things he admired about him. Although he could understand the sentiment, that didn’t stop Shikamaru from worrying and he could feel the panic rising up in the back of his throat.

Naruto shouldn’t be running around the village right now. He had sustained some pretty severe injuries. Shikamaru suspected that his injuries were a lot worse than the Hokage had mentioned. Plus, Naruto was always getting into fights around the village. Even if they weren’t his fault, it seemed like Naruto was actively targeted by some villagers. It was always dangerous for Naruto to roam freely around the village. Shikamaru shivered thinking about some of the situations Naruto had been in. It was probably just one of the many reasons that kid always seemed to have a mask on, both literally and figuratively.

Shikamaru’s mind raced through endless possibilities of where Naruto could have gone; as usual, most of them were concerning. He could feel his throat closing up thinking about knowing many people would love the opportunity to teach the yellow-haired troublemaker a lesson.

His breathing grew shallow and he lifted up his free hand to grab the back of his neck. It was something he did when he was worried. The pressure and warmth helped him to focus on the present.

I need to tell someone.

No. I can’t tell the Hokage. I’m not even supposed to know that Naruto is in the hospital. Hell, the Hokage doesn’t even want us near each other. I’ve just been lucky he hasn’t found us hanging out I guess. He would probably prefer it if I hung out with Sasuke or another “promising shinobi” but I’d rather be around Naruto.

Shikamaru’s racing thoughts were interrupted by a crashing noise coming from outside the open window and a hint of blonde hair peeking up just below Shikamaru’s field of vision.

“ . . .Naruto?” The rest of the troublemaker’s grinning face popped up from beneath the window as he chuckled and toppled into the hospital room, landing roughly on the tiled floor.

“Oh, Shikamaru! It’s only you. I thought I was in trouble for sure. Listen, uh, I would appreciate it if you didn’t tell anyone I left.”

“You idiot! You shouldn’t have left in the first place! Your injuries clearly aren't healed and you’re bleeding through your bandages. Geez, come here.” Shikamaru dropped the takeout and helped Naruto off the floor and into the hospital bed, pausing to look at the blood-soaked bandages that seemed to cover his body.

“Aw c’mon Shikamaru. You know I’m fine! I always heal quickly!”

“Well, clearly not this time. You need professional help. I’m going to get a nurse.”

“Wait! Just give me a moment to catch my breath,” He didn't really want to see anyone right now but Shikamaru was different. He didn’t judge him or look at him coldly like everyone else did.

“What’s that smell? Did you bring me IchiRaku?” Naruto lunged out of bed toward the takeout containers but Shikamaru held him down by his shoulders.

“Yes, but I won’t give you a single bite if you get out of this bed before the doctor says it's okay.”

“Aw, man,” Naruto slumped comically, feining weakness, “Raaamen!” his arms loosely grabbed in its general direction.

Shikamaru sighed, “What a drag.” before presenting Naruto with the food.

“You really are the best, Shikamaru,” Naruto said in between mouthfuls of noodles. The dark-haired boy sat straighter, wide eyes looking at Naruto in confusion. A good friend?

He didn’t think so but guessed it was to be expected after spending so much time with Naruto. Shikamaru thought about all of the times he could have been a much better friend.

Shikamaru liked Naruto. He didn’t push him to be peppy and optimistic like Shikamaru’s other classmates did. They could just sit in silence and think together or do something stupid that required absolutely no thinking.

“Just eat.” Shikamaru sighed. He wished he didn’t have to think for the rest of the day. Naruto obliged, shoving his face with more noodles than Shikamaru thought possible.

“What were you even doing out there? You have no reason to leave the hospital. It’s not like you have homework or-” Shikamaru cut himself off. That was a little insensitive. After all, he knew Naruto wanted to go to the academy. The Hokage, however, didn’t think that it would be safe to have him around other kids. At least that’s what he had told Shikamaru when he asked. But then, of course, Shikamaru found the real reason when the old man wasn’t looking. The Hokage didn’t want Naruto to be a ninja.

“I-uh, I lost something,” Naruto said, staring at the ramen on his lap.

“Did you find it?” Shikamaru would play along. If Naruto didn’t want to say what he was doing then he wasn’t going to push. The kid was already so secretive. It wasn’t like it was hard to fool him into thinking Shikamaru believed him.

“No”

“I could help you look for it-”

“No! That’s okay I think it's gone for good and you’re always so busy with training and secret missions and it would just be a waste.” Naruto rambled frantically, a lopsided smile plastered haphazardly on his face.

“Besides! You still haven’t told me about how that analysis for Lord Hokage went!” Naruto went back to cheerfully eating his ramen but Shikamaru could tell that he was still upset and just wanted to change the subject. Shikamaru sighed, noting Naruto’s distinct lack of eye contact and the way his fingers tapped on the chopsticks he was holding.

“You know that most of what I do is top secret. It’s such a drag. Ever since Lord Third asked me to study under him instead of going to school, my mom won’t stop bragging. I seriously hate it. The work the Hokage has me do is mostly analyzing teams and various threats to the village. It’s so boring! I just look at paper all day. It’s almost worse than school.”

“But I can’t quit now because my mom would be even more of a drag than the paperwork. She’d never let me hear the end of it. Well, at least now shes’ not pushing me to train. She’s been super happy about the whole thing.”

“You’re too smart for a classroom, Shikamaru. I’m sure Old Gramps- I mean the Hokage- saw that!”

“Yeah, you’re right,” Shikamaru said dejectedly. “Anyways, he’s been having me do some analysis on this ninja terrorist group. I can’t tell you the name or any details because they’re A Ranked but they’ve been getting into some pretty shady stuff. And some of the members are even from the leaf village, so be careful!”
Naruto’s face scrunched up, “Are any of them from the Anbu?”

“The Anbu? I sure hope not. The Anbu Black Ops are the elite of the elite. They’re the most trusted ninja and report directly to the Hokage. We’d be in a lot of trouble- hey! Don’t make that face! There’s no reason to be worried. It’s extremely unlikely that any Anbu members are part of this group.”

“Yeah, you’re right as always, Shikamaru.” Naruto grinned up at his friend but again, Shikamaru noted the way he held his shoulders was far from relaxed and his smile didn’t reach his eyes.

Shikamaru was frustrated. A year of hanging out together and Naruto still had yet to take off his mask in front of Shikamaru. He didn’t know what else he could do to get a real, positive reaction from the kid but he sure wasn’t done trying yet.

"Where the fuck are your shoes?"

--------------------------

“It looks like his wounds have gotten worse, Lord Hokage,” A tall man with dark hair walked into the Hokage’s office. His long black jacket made him look menacing as he walked although his face was completely neutral. No hint of malice or of fondness. The man stopped at the Hokage’s desk and flipped through Naruto’s files. The Hokage grunted in acknowledgment.

“Well, that’s to be expected. He did bring this on himself, after all. How are we supposed to help him if he keeps sneaking out of hospital windows and running into Anbu Black Ops? He’s lucky it was Kakashi and not another elite ninja that would have killed him on sight! That man is too soft for the Anbu. He lets his emotions get in the way of his missions.”

“Yes.” The dark-haired man’s facial expression changed just slightly. There was a glint in his eye. “It seems that Kakashi would benefit from the type of mission that would teach him the dangers of such close emotions.”

“Honestly, with the events in the Land of Sound, the possible rampage of that beast, and the Akatsuki, I can’t be worrying about how Anbu members are coping with their missions. If that is all, I have quite a bit of work to do.

The younger man bowed and gracefully made his exit. Hiruzen barely noticed. He sat at his desk, a scowl plastered on his face as he rubbed his temples while starting at the paperwork. He needed someplace to put the boy that wouldn’t endanger anybody.

I have too many responsibilities to keep track of without worrying if that boy will destroy the village. Besides, I need to spend more time training Shikamaru. That boy is a natural talent. He will become the next Hokage. The next person to deal with that beast. He must learn how dangerous it is. Sometimes we do unsavory things for the benefit of the village. That is what I must teach young Shikamaru.

It would be best to assign someone to keep track of the beast. Then I could constantly monitor him while devoting my attention to being Hokage. Yes. But it can’t be just anyone. It needs to be someone who can control the beast if things get out of hand. At least long enough for me to arrive, anyways.

Chapter Text

Naruto was restless. He had been in the hospital for two whole days now with absolutely nothing to do but simmer in his own thought soup. He spent most of his time alone. He was used to it. It wasn’t like he had anyone to regularly say, “goodnight” “good morning” or “I’m home” to. It wasn’t like that made him sad or anything. As much as he didn’t like it, Naruto preferred being alone. Being “on” all the time was exhausting.

Which is what was making him anxious to get out of the hospital. There were people.
Everywhere.

His small hospital room held only a wardrobe, his hospital bed, a bedside table, and a window with thin, white curtains billowing in the slight breeze. Despite the closest person to him being a sick man the next room over, Naruto felt overwhelmed by the patient’s coughing. He felt stupid. He was in a hospital. A guy coughing a whole room over shouldn’t put him on edge.

A heavy door closed down the hall and Naruto jumped at the sound, his heart racing as his ears instinctively focused in that direction. Every time a pair of shoes clicked past his room, he held his breath. He had no idea why he was on edge like this. His muscles were tired from being tense all of the time and he had a headache from the lack of sleep.

Naruto wasn’t usually this sensitive, but it was like something alerted him every time someone was present. It was exhausting. The bedsheets felt suffocating around his legs as he sat in bed. He glared at the way the fabric had twisted itself around him as if it was trying to keep him from leaving.

He more or less tore himself from the sheets to stand up before stretching his hands up and looking out the window.

Someone’s coming.

Naruto could hear the faint click of shoes on the floorboards of the hallway leading to his hospital room. His heart rate automatically heightened and his headache felt worse. It’s that nurse with the pink hair, he thought. Her footsteps were assured and fast. Like she was trying to appear louder than she wanted to be. He liked her. Although she seemed to be more of an assistant than a nurse, her movements were strong and firm. It put him at ease the way her hands were easy to predict.

He quickly jumped back into bed and pretended to be staring out of the window before she came in.

“How are you feeling? You’ve made such a quick recovery!” She pulled a pen out from behind her ear and Naruto watched some of the pink strands get stuck in it before she was able to untangle them.

“I feel great!” Naruto said with an easy and compliant smile.

“Alright, well it looks like the doctor thinks you’re good to go. Is there anyone I can notify to take you home?” the pink-haired girl held the pen to the clipboard she was holding and looked at Naruto expectantly.

“That’s not necessary, I can totally walk on my own, see?” He hopped out of bed again to demonstrate.

“That’s great but we really need someone to make sure you get home okay.” The girl’s smile tensed and Naruto could tell he was starting to piss her off. He didn’t think she had much patience to begin with. He felt bad for putting her in this position but he didn’t exactly want to out himself as the village weirdo if she didn’t already know. She probably didn’t know if she was asking him for his emergency contact.

“No, no, really it’s okay. I don’t want to bother anybody!” Naruto was getting nervous. He didn’t have anyone who could take him home. Maybe Shikamaru, but he didn’t want to bother him. Plus he was pretty sure Shikamaru had been banned from seeing him. Naruto was a “bad influence” or something.

Oh no. The Hokage. I hope she doesn’t ask him to take me home. Naruto’s stomach dropped and he felt queasy thinking about it. Old Gramps Hokage would definitely blame Naruto for having to drop his work to escort him home.

“Listen here, the doctors are not going to let you wander out of the hospital by yourself. Just give me your mom’s phone number before I make you!” Yup, she had very little patience and Naruto had already used up whatever grace she had left. He had no idea why she was working in a hospital if this was her default.

“I don’t have a mom.” Naruto’s face was expressionless as he watched the girl in front of him. She couldn't have been more than a year older than him. She looked angry, confused, sad, and guilty all in under a second. Naruto didn’t wait longer than that before he turned to the window.

Why did I do that? Oh well, it’s been a good life . . . Well, it’s been a life for sure. I can say that much.
“Hey wait, you idiot, you shouldn't be up there! Stop moving so much you’re still injured!” The nurse called panicking as she witnessed Naruto slide open the window he was standing next to and climb up onto the windowsill before catapulting himself out.

“Stop! At least take your shoes!” But Naruto was already gone.

“I thought I might find you here.” Gai approached Kakashi quietly, stopping next to him and staring at the grave in front of them. Kakashi didn’t acknowledge him but instead continued to stare at the tombstone where a fresh lily had been placed.

“I found something you might want to see.” Gai reached into his pocket as Kakashi shook himself out of his thoughts. Gai held out something black and blue. The object looked to be a destroyed pair of goggles. It was clearly burnt but the burn marks had a strange pattern to them. The marks were jagged, snaking over the goggles in precise lines.

“What is it?” Kakashi asked.

“They’re goggles, Kakashi. I thought that was obvious.” Gai looked taken aback and completely serious.

“No, I mean, why are you showing me a pair of ruined goggles?”

“Ah, right! I found these at the bottom of that ravine you told me about. You know, the one where you saw your pupil?”

“He’s not my- never mind. How the hell did you get down there and back up? That ravine is incredibly deep, Gai.”

“Well, I needed to mix up my training a bit and rock climbing is always a good thing to practice. Next time, we’ll race, how about that?”

“Race down the ravine?” Kakashi sighed, “Why not? Thanks for these, Gai. You’re a really good friend.”
“Of course! Now the next challenge is to find that pupil of yours!”

“You know what? I’m just going to cherish this moment of friendship. We’ll circle back to the pupil thing later.”

Kakashi stared at the charred goggles he was holding as he walked down the dirt road of Konoha. One gloved hand held the goggles out in front of him while the other was shoved into his pocket and he walked slowly with a slouch. He wasn’t headed anywhere in particular. He just liked to walk. The regular padding of his feet helped him to think.

While he walked, Kakashi mentally reviewed the file he had read yesterday. For as much information the file gave him, it gave him twice as many questions. The most shocking revelation was that this thirteen-year-old kid was a jinchuriki. For the nine-tailed fox spirit no less.

It was no wonder that the Hokage wanted somebody to keep an eye on him. It also seemed like he was a troublemaker of sorts. Painting over the stone faces of past Hokage, vandalizing the academy, and petty theft. Nothing that would hurt anybody but enough to annoy the people of the village.

Previous to this assignment, Kakashi hadn’t really had any run-ins with Naruto’s troublemaking. He seemed to avoid the Anbu, but that wasn’t unusual. Most civilians avoided the elite ninja. Kakashi also hadn’t heard anything about Naruto in general. For all of the kid’s antics, it was almost as if there was a black hole surrounding him. Nobody talked about him. He was hardly ever seen in public. How had an orphaned troublemaker of a kid gone so long without drawing attention to himself?

Kakashi needed more information. He began to walk to the address from Naruto’s file that he had already memorized.

This couldn’t be the kid’s place, Kakashi thought as he stared around the small apartment.

After quickly noticing that the small apartment was obviously empty, Kakashi easily maneuvered himself onto the roof, where he gracefully flipped himself through Naruto’s window. Not a single empty soda can fell from small roof perch just outside the window.

Kakashi took in the details of the space. It was mostly empty and felt vacant despite its small size. Naruto’s file stated that he had lived in this apartment since he was orphaned but there was hardly anything in it to make it look like a home. It didn’t even look like anyone lived here.
Several boxes were stacked and leaning against one of the walls. There were no decorations anywhere except for a single dying plant on the kitchen table next to a duct-taped laptop. A small mini fridge took up one of the corners of the room with instant ramen piled high on top of it. An electric kettle sat next to the sad-looking plant on the table. The bed had plain white sheets and an oversized blanket tossed neatly across it.

Kakashi moved toward several stacked boxes shoved to one side of the room and quietly peeked inside the nearest one. Books. In the dark light, it was hard to make out titles but most of the books looked rather large like they weren’t for casual reading.

He opened the next box only to find a few folded shirts, amongst other clothing items. For how much it seemed like this just didn’t exist, his fashion sense was . . . colorful to say the least. It looked like every piece of clothing was a statement piece. Each item was loud and Kakashi would have had a hard time making a sensible outfit out of anything in the box.

Looking around the small living space, Kakashi had a hard time believing that anyone lived there, let alone a prepubescent boy. There wasn’t enough . . . well anything. It was kind of creeping him out.

Chapter Text

Naruto collapsed on his bed. Home sweet place where I sleep, he thought. Now that he was out of the hospital, he felt like he could breathe again. After a few deep breaths lying on his bed with his arms above his head, his head began to fill with fog.

I hate it here, Naruto thought. I hate this room. I hate that wall. He felt like the apartment was getting smaller, compressing his stomach and lungs uncomfortably.

He never really liked the bathroom. It was just a place that reminded him he was different. The mirror that came with the apartment hung above the sink. It was just another reminder that he alone was the reason he wasn’t happy. The bathroom forced him to look at himself and he would rather be invisible.

The mirror was stuck permanently to the wall and couldn’t be removed. He had tried.

Naruto begrudgingly made his way to the dimly lit bathroom and started the shower. It was cramped, but he relished the way the water trickled on his head. It was a warm and welcome weight. Despite hating the bathroom, Naruto sat down, letting the water wash everything away as he stared at the badly caulked tiles, feeling absolutely empty.

He didn’t know how long he was in there, but it was long enough for the water to turn cold. He shivered as he ran a towel through his wet hair, hating how the water made his scars itch. After pulling on a spare sweater and a pair of sweatpants, Naruto grabbed a soda from his fridge and climbed onto the balcony.

It wasn’t really a balcony, just a small portion of the roof that Naruto could access through his window but any bit of outdoor space where nobody could bother him felt like home to him. He sat amongst the empty soda cans on his little balcony and idly watched the rooftops of Konoha. The cold water from his shower felt like ice on his skin against the mild breeze of the afternoon. It was a welcome shock.

Feeling more like himself, he took a closer look at his surroundings. Everything was exactly where he had remembered it, but something felt off. It was like there was someone in his apartment. Of course, he knew nobody was in his apartment. It was small and there weren’t exactly a lot of hiding places but it felt different than when he had left it.

As Naruto lifted the soda to his lips, he caught a glimpse of the white raised skin on the back of his hand. He hasn’t really had a chance to examine his new scars alone.

The thin white lines splayed across his hands and arms in jagged lines. They weren’t very visible under the fluorescent light of the hospital but here in the afternoon sun, they almost lit up.

Pretty, Naruto thought. He shook his head. Great, just another thing that made him such a freak. Thinking his weird self-inflicted scars were pretty. What normal person would think such a thing? C’mon you freak, do better. Normal people don’t think things like that.

Suddenly ashamed, Naruto pulled his sleeve back down and finished the rest of the soda. He was aching to get some training done or at least anything remotely productive but he was exhausted. Deciding to get an early start tomorrow instead, Naruto curled up around his pillow and hugged it close to him before finally getting some sleep.

“Say thank you, Naruto.” A younger Hirozen appeared in his dream with a hand on the shoulders of a five-year-old Naruto. Naruto glared at the plump lady in front of him. The way his nose crinkled made his whisker marks appear bristled.

“Why?” Naruto asked. He didn’t like his foster mom very much. Well, ex-foster mom. Today was his last day in her house and Naruto was grateful for it.

“Naruto, this upstanding citizen agreed to house you out of the kindness of her heart. You’ve made things very difficult for her and should be grateful she put up with you for so long.”

“Thank you” Naruto spat. Hirozen gripped Naruto’s shoulders so hard it started to hurt. He knew the Hokage would have a lot more to say to him in private. The thought of that made Naruto a little less bold. He allowed himself to be steered away.

“I’m sorry about him. It seems some animals can’t be trained. Konoha thanks you for your service, Fusa.” The Hokage said kindly as he lead Naruto to his next home.

The dream changed.

“Here’s your allowance for the month. You wanted out of that nice lady’s house so badly. Now prove that you deserve this.” Hirozen gruffly set an envelope on a bare-looking kitchen table. Naruto stood in his apartment, amazed at the large space. He could take care of himself. He’d prove it. He would find a family all of his own and then everyone will see that he was the perfect kid and would feel sorry for not wanting him.

I have a better idea. Let’s MAKE them sorry. A grumbling voice threatened.

Naruto’s eyes opened with a start as he woke up.

He slowly lifted himself up into a sitting position and glanced around his room.

Everything was exactly the way it was before he died. He hadn’t completely shaken the feeling that someone had been in his apartment but that only made him feel crazy. Everything was in its place so he tried not to think about it.

The kettle and plant sat on the table. The boxes by the door were neat and organized. It was . . . clean. And clean meant that it was right.

He stood and winced as he tried to walk towards the bathroom. His legs hurt more than he remembered. Gingerly tiptoeing to the bathroom to avoid aggravating anything. He quickly washed his face and begrudgingly brushed his teeth. Through the corner of his eye, he could see his reflection in the mirror but he paid it no mind and finished getting ready.

Choosing a simple T-shirt and not bothering to change the pants he slept in last night, Naruto absentmindedly reached to his forehead before forgetting that his goggles were no longer there. Blinking harshly, he turned his attention to the kitchen. He really didn’t feel like eating but he grabbed another soda.

The caffeine would help his joints or something, right? Just what a growing boy needed.

With a final mental push, Naruto opened the door and headed down the street. It wasn’t long before he ran into some familiar figures.

“Hey!” a dark-haired kid yelled. He was taller than Naruto but it wasn’t his height that made Naruto feel small.

“Hi, Sasuke” Naruto's voice cracked. It felt like his throat was closing as he tried to speak. He resorted to a friendly wave.

“C’mon, I’ll show you how much fun this idiot is!” Sasuke gestured to his companion to walk over to Naruto with him. Naruto didn’t recognize the other kid. The red cheek markings and fangs made Naruto think that he was from the Inuzuka clan.

“He doesn’t look like much fun,” the Inazuka kid frowned.

“Just wait, I’ll show you how fun he can be,” Sasuke replied. He was smiling but Naruto didn’t like that smile. He didn’t want to be rude and leave suddenly but he knew that nothing good would come from this interaction.

Sasuke grabbed at Naruto’s bag, roughly ripping it off him. Naruto grunted in surprise as he slammed into the hardened dirt path. Naruto looked up at Sasuke as he rummaged through the stolen bag.

“Throwing knives? Are you still trying to pass the academy exam? You know they’re never gonna let a loser like you become a ninja.” Sasuke said.

“I was just going to train at the . . .” Naruto’s voice got smaller with every word.

“What was that? I don’t hear anything, do you?” Sasuke turned to his companion who shook his head, “Oh a first aid kit? What a baby. Well if you came to train, I would do you the honor of sparring but you’d get so badly injured. I’m just looking after the good old Hokage’s money after all.”

The two boys snickered as they walked away, tossing Naruto’s stuff to the side.

“I’m not!” Naruto tried to yell. His throat continued to tighten and he sat there silently looking at his things strewn across the ground. He didn’t believe himself. It doesn’t matter, he thought. It doesn’t matter if my stuff is taken or ruined or if I can’t talk. It doesn’t matter because I’m still-

He didn’t know what he was but he felt very far from human.

Naruto stepped quietly into the dojo. The dojo was a large building by Konoha’s standards. Although most of the space remained open for sparring and practice matches, there were closed-off areas with various types of targets. Some were for hand strikes; that’s where Naruto practiced taijutsu. Other targets were for ranged weapons practice and that’s where he found himself.

The blade struck the wooden target, hitting a crude mark painted onto its surface in the shape of a bullseye. Three knives more followed in quick succession, all landing with a resounding thud in the center.

All of them can become ninjas. Why can’t I?

You know why.

Fuck off.

And leave you all alone? Then you’d truly have no one. Having someone like me is better than having nobody at all.

You don’t know me. I’m fine on my own. I’m fine! Naruto thought.

It chuckled a deep and knowing laugh. I do know you. I am you. You’re far from fine.

Liar. I don’t need your help.

Who else is going to help you? You know that all they will do is sit back and watch you die. And no matter how many times it takes to finally destroy you, they will not save you.

Naruto stared at the knives he had thrown into the tree. He felt the icy-hot chakra bubbling in his veins. The world narrowed in on him as he took a trembling hand and threw another knife. It didn’t hit.

“Oh, so close!”

Naruto whirled around, searching for the source of the voice, only to be met with a rather scrawny-looking Jonin with stark white hair and a bored expression on his face.

“What’s your name, kid?” the man asked casually.

Chapter Text

“Naruto” his name felt strangled and came out wrong but he managed to get it out. He tried to school his breathing as he looked at the man. The man held a nonchalant posture and his headband was pulled over one of his eyes. The free eye was moving back and forth as it read from the small book he held. The strange man looked tired as he leaned against the pillared entryway that separated Naruto’s training room from the open sparring space.

“That’s an unusual name.” the man’s posture and expression didn’t change in the slightest as he continued to read his book. Naruto was starting to get annoyed at the interruption but he couldn’t let it show. He didn’t want to cause a ruckus and get banned from this dojo too.

Naruto shrugged as he took a step back. The man looked up from his book and winced for a split second. It was so fast that Naruto almost missed it. Naruto pulled his kunai from the target and began putting them in his bag.

“Leaving so soon? It looks like you need practice. I can help. My name is Kakashi Hatake.” Kakashi smiled, clearly trying to appear friendly after seeing how he startled Naruto. Naruto didn’t respond. He just looked at jonin expressionlessly. He didn’t know if this was a trap but it was better to play it safe. This guy was a Jonin. He could make his life a living hell.

“You were focusing on your chakra instead of where you wanted the kunai to hit. Your throw had a good amount of power behind it but without an external focus, you can’t aim. Here, I’ll show you.” Kakashi focused his chakra, causing a steel-blue aura to emanate around him. It felt sharp and cold yet friendly. It was like the cool metal of a familiar object.

Naruto watched closely as the aura seeped into the kunai. Kakashi kept his eye directly in front of him where the target stood. In one quick motion, Kakashi flicked his wrist and extended his arm.

The kunai ripped cleanly through the target and dug itself into the boulder behind it. Naruto’s eyes widened. That was it! He knew how to improve his aim. He looked excitedly at Kakashi, who had now turned to face him.

“See? It doesn’t matter how powerful your chakra is unless you have something to aim at. Now it’s your turn.”

Naruto lifted the Kunai he was about to put away. He let his chakra flow and locked his eyes on the target. He could feel the normal warmth of his life force seeping into the kunai before it was followed by something icy hot and red.

His vision melted away as the image of Jiraiya gasping for breath and bloody flooded in.

“Hmm, not quite. I thought you really had it there for a minute. Well, try again.” Kakashi didn’t sound too disappointed. Naruto didn’t see the hint of something else hiding under his placated expression. He was panicking.

Naruto tried to hide the noise of his heavy breathing. Realizing that his hands were trembling, he turned around.

“Thank you.” Naruto grabbed his bag and ran out of the building as fast as he could.

“Am I really that bad with kids?” Kakashi mumbled to himself.

Once he made it back to his small apartment, Naruto’s began to slow down, allowing him to think. There was no way he was going to let anyone else get hurt helping him “train”. He needed to figure out what was going on with his chakra before anything bad happened. He figured it was too risky to train in the middle of the day. He also didn’t know how much damage his chakra would do. He didn’t feel like he could contain it.

Naruto decided that he needed an area that was isolated where nobody was around to get hurt. He knew a spot a little ways outside of the village. He knew that he wasn’t allowed outside of the village, so he would have to sneak out. Preferably he would practice during the night so that nobody would be around.

Waiting for nightfall was practically unbearable. He could feel the red energy pulsing in his chest, waiting to be let out. It seemed to grow every time he focused on it. Naruto sat on the floor and rummaged through one of the cardboard boxes. He pulled out a squat-looking book that had been stamped “Property of Konoha Public Library” and began flipping through it, trying to find the right page.

He had been reading about the origins of chakra but honestly didn’t know where to begin. It felt like nobody really knew where chakra came from even though it was such an important part of their village. Naruto knew that his chakra was different from everyone elses. That much was clear even if Jiraya had never . . .

No he didn’t want to think about that. He became absorbed in his book, occasionally pacing around the room as he read to dispel some of his nervous energy. After a couple of hours, it seemed like most of the village had gone to their respective homes for the night. He put the book back in the cardboard box he originally fished it out of and pulled on his shoes.

Naruto walked out onto his makeshift balcony and breathed in the cool night air. It stung against his scars and grounded him. Naruto made his way to an area of the surrounding woods that was secluded enough for him not to be noticed.

The quiet of the night didn’t offer any distractions and the gaping hole behind Naruto’s chest grew. It begged for his attention, seeping into his arms and throat like hot syrup. He decided he was far enough away from the village and dropped from the branches he was hopping from onto the soft earth.

His knees stung from the landing but it was a welcome sensation. He felt light. Like a strong wind could blow him away. The strange sensation in his chest made a nest in his stomach as if asking something of him.

“Now what” Naruto whispered. The energy in his stomach said nothing but he could feel it growing. It felt like an itch. It was so strong that it almost hurt. His whole body felt hot and the sensation just continued to grow and consume his entire body. He closed his eyes. They felt dry and itchy and he wasn’t paying attention to his surroundings anyway. He could feel a familiar pulsing hotness in his veins and something inside him grinned in satisfaction.

Remembering that white-haired Jonin’s instructions from earlier, Naruto took out a kunai. The blade was heavy and dark. Both sides were sharp, to help ninja slash through enemies. A kunai’s real strength, however, was in its ranged abilities. The sharp point of the blade and it’s sleek, aerodynamic body allowed it to be thrown with ease.

The kunai Naruto had were cheap. He knew that there were specialty weapons that allowed ninja to better infuse their chakra, but he was on a budget. He wasn’t a real ninja, anyways, he thought bitterly.

With a bit of concentration, Naruto sent his familiar blue life force energy into the kunai. It covered the blade in blotchy and sporadic energy. Not nearly as refined as the example that Jonin had shown him, but he was pleased. He had successfully used his chakra to charge the blade with energy. Now he had to hit the target with it.

Naruto picked a sturdy looking tree. It was quite thick and would be the perfect target. Attempting to mimic the example from the dojo, Naruto pulled back his arm before flicking his wrist and sending the kunai flying. He heard a satisfying thud.

Excited, he ran up to the tree to better assess what had happened. Although he could see the tree, the details were hidden by the dark night. Sure enough, the kunai had hit near the center of the trunk, but instead of leaving a small line in the wood where the blade struck, there was a tiny crater around the knife.

Naruto cursed. That wasn’t supposed to happen. From what he had read about chakra-infused blades, a correct hit would cut through wood like butter, leaving a small yet deadly hole. It was perfect for honing accuracy, which is why it was popularly used among elite ninjas. This small crater, while still impressive, was a sign that his chakra wasn’t properly focused into the blade.

With a small sigh, Naruto tugged on the kunai lodged into the tree and tried again.

Chapter Text

Kakashi examined the various indents in a particularly sturdy-looking tree outside the village. The air was cold despite the fact that the sun was out. He was grateful that his Anbu mask provided some semblance of warmth.

The marks were clearly made by someone's training. A variety of crater-shaped holes covered the trees. Among the tiny craters were some solid hits. Whoever was using this tree for training had made significant improvements in their chakra control.

The whole situation confused Kakashi. He didn’t understand why the Hokage would make him inspect this area when it was being used as a training ground for some Genin-level ninja. It was weird that someone was using this tree to train instead of the several dojos inside the village, however. He just really didn’t think this was worth the investigation. He wasn’t going to tell the Hokage that, though.

Naruto woke up late as he did on most days. He just felt so tired. After reluctantly leaving his bed and putting on somewhat presentable clothes, he grabbed his bag and left his apartment. The day was chilly despite it being close to noon and he hugged his old jacket closer to his body.

The jacket was clean and still warm, but it had been mended and repaired so many times that it made him stand out like a sore thumb. Despite his unusual appearance, most of the other villagers ignored him as he made his way to the library.

The Konoha public library was a round and simple-looking building. Naruto walked up the stony steps and entered through the familiar double doors. He breathed in the smell of paper and reveled in the muted sounds of rustling paper and pencils scratching away kanji.

“Hey, Naruto. Did you finish those books already?” Naruto was greeted by a smiling man with a large scar across his nose. His dark brown hair was pulled back into a ponytail and his headband and green utility jacket indicated his status as a Chunin-level ninja.

Naruto didn’t respond, but simply nodded and gently picked a stack of books out of his bag before handing them to the man. Naruto didn’t know why this man- Iruka, he had introduced himself as- was being so nice to him, but he was grateful to have a place to get new books. The library made him feel a little less lonely, even if he didn’t talk to anyone.

“Wow, that was fast. You must be giving your teachers at the academy a run for their money! You know, I also teach at the academy. My students are going to take the Genin test soon. Maybe I’ll be your proctor, too!” Iruka continued to chat while he took Naruto’s books. Naruto didn’t say anything but nodded occasionally. He couldn’t help a lump from forming in the back of his throat.

“I was wondering if you had any books on the origins of chakra?” Naruto asked, his voice barely above a whisper. He was grateful Iruka didn’t ask him to repeat himself or comment on how shaky his voice was.

Iruka smiled warmly. I’ll have to check. The origins of chakra, huh? I’ve heard a lot of folk tales from my teaching classes but I can’t say I know of a definite origin.”

“From what I know, the first Hokage knew secrets about chakra that only high-ranking ninjas have access to. The Anbu are taught some of the first Hokage’s legendary jutsu that make them impossible to beat. That’s just the rumor, however. Nothing makes a person invincible.”

“Oh.” Naruto’s chest tightened as he thought about the fact that he should be dead. But he’s not. And he didn’t know why. He blinked back tears. He didn’t want to cry here.

“Hey, are you okay?” Iruka reached forward and put his hand on Naruto’s shoulder.

Naruto wanted to jump away. He waited for the harsh squeeze that meant he would be punished once they were in private. But Iruka was not the Hokage and his hand remained firm yet warm on Naruto’s shoulder.

“Naruto?” the kid blinked back into reality.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Thank you.” He said perfectly politely.

“Clearly you're not fine. You don’t have to tell me anything, but just stay here for a few minutes while I grab something, okay?” Naruto nodded numbly.

Iruka was gone for a few minutes but it felt like no time passed at all as Naruto continued to stare at the wall in dissociation.

“Okay, I’m back. Here.” Iruka handed him a bottle of water and an energy bar. “I found some books on chakra that are older than the ones you checked out. They might be what you’re looking for but honestly, I’m unsure. Why don’t you sit down over there and eat while you look through them?”

“Food isn’t allowed in the library. I don’t want to cause any trouble.” Naruto said, not looking away from the wall he had been staring at.

“I won’t tell anyone. It’s more important that you are okay.” Iruka began to steer Naruto to a secluded part of the library and put his books on the table. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?”

Naruto remained silent as he sat down. He stared at the water, granola bar, and books in front of him. It’s more important that he is okay? What does that even mean? He felt like this was some sort of plot to catch him messing up so he could be locked away forever.

He didn’t end up eating the granola bar.

Iruka knew that something was wrong the moment Naruto stepped into the library. He had been working part-time at the library for almost a year. Assisting other villagers with their research helped him to plan lessons at the academy. Sometimes, one of his students would visit him and ask questions about their homework.

Iruka knew he wanted to be a teacher. He knew since his own teacher helped him pass the Genin test after his parents died. It had hurt so much. He missed them every day. After they died, he felt like he was completely alone until his teacher took him under his wing. Iruka would never forget how good it felt to cry into his teacher after admitting he had been acting out because he wanted someone to pay attention to him.

So when he saw a very skinny-looking boy enter the library for the first time, jumping at every noise, Iruka knew he needed help. Today he seemed different, however. He was much less jumpy and seemed to not even notice Iruka talking to him.

Anxiety was uncommon among ninjas and Iruka knew what a dissociation episode looked like. He had tried to distract Naruto with books, something the kid seemed to enjoy, but when Iruka returned to his nook among the shelves of documents, he was gone. At least it seemed like he had eaten the granola bar. The kid was looking way gaunter than someone his age should.

“Iruka.” A deep, smooth voice called out to the teacher. Iruka turned around to see Kakashi walking toward him, eyes closed in a carefree manner and waving.

“Hi Kakashi, to what do I owe the pleasure?”

“A couple of reasons, actually. I was wondering if you knew any good books about kids. You’re a teacher at the academy so I figured you must have had some type of training material.” Kakashi stuck his hands in his pockets. He seemed to be hiding his embarrassment.

“Kids? I thought you hated kids.”

“I don’t hate kids, I just don’t like teaching.” Iruka stared him down like he did when he was trying to get one of his students to admit to cheating on a test.

Kakashi sighed and looked Iruka in the eyes, “I don't hate teaching. You’re right. I just hate the thought that someday those kids are going to be soldiers that die in the line of duty.”

Iruka’s expression softened and his head dropped. “I hate it too but those kids are going to be sent out of the village to fight. It’s better that they have the skills they need to survive.”

“You’re right, which is why I need your help. There’s this kid.” Iruka’s eyes shot up. Kakashi tended to feign indifference. This kid must be something to get him worked up. “I want to help him but the last time I tried to talk to him, he just ran away.”

“Yeah, I can relate,” Iruka responded, thinking about Naruto’s visit earlier. “I think I have just the book for you.”

Chapter Text

Kakashi pinched the bridge of his nose as he read through Naruto’s file for the hundredth time. He wasn’t learning anything new but couldn’t help but feel that there was a lot of information missing from these papers.

He had asked some of his colleagues, people in the Anbu, and regular ninjas if they knew anything about the kid. Some of them had heard of him but it seemed like he avoided ninjas almost entirely. That would explain the kid’s skittish nature when Kakashi last saw him and why he seemed like a ghost in the system.

No school records, no family, not even any medical records, though Kakashi suspected that those had been purposefully left out. Now that he thought about it, Kakashi didn’t know anyone else by the last name Uzumaki.

The kid’s file did state that he had no living relatives left but families in the leaf village tended to be large, spanning multiple generations. It was very odd that Naruto didn’t have any cousins or distant relatives. It was even odder that there were no other Uzumakis in the village. Had the surname been made up? If so, did that mean that the kid did have relatives elsewhere?

Kakashi wondered how many answers the kid knew himself and resisted the urge to show up at his apartment and ask him outright. He was clearly distrustful of ninjas and that line of interrogation would get him nowhere. He had to find a way to earn the kid’s trust if he wanted more information.

Naruto felt like he had made some good improvement in the past couple of days. The trees were starting to look less like they had been hit by a bowling ball and more like they had been sliced through. He had even gotten one of his kunai to slice all the way through the tree and land on the other side!
With just a bit more practice, Naruto felt like he could master chakra blade infusion, even if he only had some cheaply made kunai and not the kind made for chakra infusion. Naruto got into a routine of practicing at night when nobody was around. He always wore a simple mask around the lower part of his face. Just a cheap surgical mask in case he saw anyone who might want to pick a fight with him. He knew he would be a dead man walking if the Hokage found out that he had been sneaking out of the village on the regular to train.
Even if the Hokage himself was probably snoring away in his house, all the ninjas in the village acted as his eyes. Sure, Iruka was nice but Naruto knew that the second he slipped up that the ninja would take him straight to the Hokage and get him banned from the library or who knows what else.

To pass the time during the day, Naruto read through all the books he had borrowed from the library. Well, when he wasn’t sleeping. He seemed to need a lot more sleep recently. Although the books Iruka recommended to him were interesting, they didn’t have what he was looking for.

Actually, he didn’t know what he was looking for exactly. Jiraya had said that his red chakra was different, that much he knew even without the toad sage. That knowledge didn’t really help him when it came to controlling it. Or even understanding what the hell it was. And then there was that voice that seemed to come with any substantial use of his chakra.

Every so often, when he was thinking of something that made his blood boil, he would hear a voice in his head. It sounded cruel, deep, and gravelly. It promised him things. Naruto shook his head, just thinking about it made the lightning-shaped scars that sprawled across both of his arms hurt. He could feel something stirring and he would like to keep control of his own body, thank you very much.

Naruto took a deep breath before entering the library, his finished books held tentatively under one arm. The library was busy today. Some academy kids were grouped together to study. A couple of ninjas were talking loudly by the water fountain. A woman walked past him with two young kids towing behind her. Naruto didn’t see Iruka’s familiar face anywhere.

He walked up to the desk and placed his borrowed books gingerly on the counter.

“Can I help you?” asked a man that seemed to be around Iruka’s age. Silvery hair could be spotted peeking out from beneath his ninja headband, which he wore as a bandana. He smiled brightly at Naruto before noticing the pile of books.

“Oh, are you here to return these? Did you find what you were searching for?” Naruto didn’t respond to either of the questions but the man didn’t seem to notice. “Wow, these are really advanced! I’m surprised that you haven’t passed the ninja exam.”

Naruto looked down at the counter, more self-conscious of his forehead and the lack of a headband that seemed like a glaring spotlight letting everyone in the vicinity know that he couldn’t make it as a ninja. He could feel the heat rushing to his ears as his heart began to beat faster from attention and embarrassment.

“Sorry, it looks like that’s a sore subject. Hey, don’t worry about it! There’s nothing wrong with not passing the test. You must be a really smart kid if you’re reading this kind of stuff,” The man picked a book off the top of the pile and examined it as he talked. “You’ll pass the exam for sure next time!”

“I don’t go to the academy,” Naruto said in a hollow voice. He didn’t trust this guy. He was a ninja, firstly, but he was also being friendly with Naruto. Nobody did that unless they wanted something from him.

“Really? How come?” The man leaned his elbow on the counter, a placating frown on his face and head in his hand.

“I didn’t pass the entrance exam.” Naruto’s mouth felt dry. It wasn’t exactly a lie. He never took the entrance exam so technically, he never passed. He would really rather stop talking about this topic altogether but couldn’t think of a way to politely leave the conversation.

“What? That’s insane with the kind of material you’re reading. Well, better luck next time. I’m Mizuki, by the way. What’s your name?”

“Naruto. If you don’t mind I’ll be on my way,” He did a small bow before turning around and walking into an aisle with promising book titles. Mitsuki just waved cheerily before returning to the book he was reading to pass time while waiting for someone needing help with a book.

Naruto could breathe a little easier once he was out of eyesight and turned his attention to finding more information about chakra. Ten minutes of searching later and he was starting to run out of books on the topic. None of them talked about red chakra or voices in your head. Maybe he was just going insane. It seemed like a plausible explanation.

He was just about to exit the aisle of specialty chakra books when he heard Iruka talking to someone the next aisle over.

“That’s not something to brag about you know,” Iruka chided.

“Oh come on. The secret scroll holds all of the knowledge of the village. If that’s not cool then nothing is,” Mizuki, Naruto recognized him by voice.

“You know better than this! The Hokage trusts you to guard it! What kind of a ninja would you be if something happened to it because of your careless bragging?”

“Aw, you know that nothing is gonna happen to that scroll on my watch,” Mizuki said in a cocky voice as Iruka sighed. Naruto could picture him pinching the bridge of his nose out of stress like he often does when dealing with difficult students in the library.

“Mizuki, one day your arrogance is going to cause you some serious trouble,” Iruka’s voice was further away and Naruto got the sense that they had walked deeper into the library.

He counted to ten before quietly exiting the aisle that accidentally acted as his hiding place during that conversation. He didn’t check out any books, instead, he walked straight home, head lost in thoughts and feet on autopilot.

All the knowledge of the hidden leaf village. All of it. That would include weird chakra, right? The ability to use chakra is something that only ninjas possess. Of the hidden ninja villages, the leaf village is the oldest. Would that mean that the secret scroll contains information about the beginning of chakra?

Naruto shook his head. No, it’s called a secret scroll for a reason. It’s a secret. I’m not even supposed to know it exists. How would I even go about reading it?

Naruto imagined walking up to the Hokage and politely asking to see this super secret scroll with all of the knowledge of their village only for the Hokage to order him to be kicked out of the village. He felt more exhausted than usual and upon entering his apartment, flopped down on the bed.

An hour later, Naruto felt like he was falling asleep. The orange glow of the setting sun rested on the back of his neck as he lie facedown, focusing on his breathing. Now that he was aware of it, it felt less like he was falling asleep and more like he was simply blinking in and out of existence. Each time ceased to exist, he felt unburdened and limitless. Each time he abruptly existed again he felt a white-hot and searing pain. The invisible flames started at the center of his chest and followed his veins and arteries to the tip of his fingers. With each heartbeat, he could feel the flames being fanned. Up and down. Back and forth. A tidal wave of cold heat fell in the entirety of his body.

He felt something in his stomach twist upside down and around upright again followed by a loosening sensation. Then it felt like he was being torn apart from the inside out. It wasn’t enough pain to fully distract him from the flames slowly but surely consuming him and now melting paths along his veins.

And for the first time in a long time, Naruto felt something that wasn’t pain. He felt fear.

Reality came crashing down on him. It was jagged and jarring. Too much all at once.

He was never going to be a ninja. There was no information about his explosive chakra. No information about voices in his head saying terrible things. Nobody he could ask for help. His reality was nothing.

There was nothing that was his.

But there could be.

Naruto held his breath at the thought.

You will never be able to control this chakra without that scroll

At those words, Naruto felt a crashing wave of heat starting from his stomach and filling his veins, lighting up his scars bright and painful. He knew the voice was right.

Chapter Text

Naruto fought down his anxiety as he headed toward the library once again. It was the weekend and there were a lot more people out than he would like. Crowds made keeping track of faces and people to avoid more difficult, but his anxiety helped him to stay alert.

A distinguishing spike of black hair stood out in the road and Naruto casually hid behind some pedestrians as he passed.

“Oh my, is that you, Sasuke? You’ve grown up so much! I hear that you are doing well at the academy.” Naruto overheard the woman who ran the corner store gush. He could only see the back of Sasuke’s head, but Naruto could picture Sasuke's face.

“Top of my class. I’m thinking of joining the Anbu,” Naruto imagined Sasuke’s raised brow and cocky smirk as he overheard this from his position in the ever-moving stream of people. He didn’t want to stay and hear more and continued down the street, head lowered.

Naruto's thoughts left him as he entered the library. It was crowded in here as well, but mostly with other kids studying at various tables. He looked around but didn’t see Iruka or Mizuki. He decided to look through some of the shelves to see if they were putting away books, but when he turned around, he bumped into someone.

“Hey, watch it!” a familiar pink-haired girl shouted. She turned to face him and her jaw dropped.

“You’re the kid from the hospital!” She pointed an accusatory finger. Naruto paled. The girl was drawing a lot of attention to them and some of the older library-goers were starting to whisper among themselves. Naruto knew what they were saying. His vision zeroed in on the girl’s eyes.

They were softer than he expected them to be. There was something else there he was trying to figure out but it was hard to focus his vision. Things were starting to get fuzzy. The girl was trying to say something to him. He could see her mouth open as she walked toward him.

As she got closer, he began to notice just how fast he was breathing and he recognized what was in the girl’s eyes before he lost consciousness.

Sasuke POV

“Oh my, is that you, Sasuke? You’ve grown up so much! I hear that you are doing well at the academy.” Sasuke recognized that voice and cursed internally. He turned to face Miss Hatori. She was an elderly woman with deep wrinkles that showed a lifetime of smiles. Miss Hatori was hunched over a broom but she wasn’t sweeping. Instead, she looked at Sasuke with a kind yet sad smile. With pity.

Sasuke was already in a bad mood but the elderly woman’s expression made him even more angry. Tipping his head to the side, he smirked and replied, “Top of my class. I’m thinking of joining the Anbu.”

The woman’s face fell, her eyes no longer sad but now filled with something else. Recognition. Fear. Sasuke knew what she was thinking. His arrogance, although seemingly innocent, was coldly calculated.

Just like his brother.

That was what she was thinking. The woman’s hands shook slightly before she bowed politely and excused herself back inside her shop. Sasuke continued walking, feeling worse but he couldn’t afford to let that distract him. Not when he was so close to his goal.

Naruto’s POV

A cool breeze brushed against his cheeks and fluffed his hair, carrying a hummed song as it passed by. Naruto vaguely remembered hearing Fusa, the woman who took him in singing a similar song to some of the other children she fostered. He always secretly wished that she would sing it to him when he had nightmares but it was no use wishing for such trivial things as comfort.

He wondered who was singing until he remembered that he was in the library. Then everything came crashing back. Naruto’s eyes flew open and he sat up, inhaling sharply and ending up coughing.

“Calm down, idiot! You’re going to get worked up again,” a familiar voice grumbled the warning from next to him.

Naruto blinked his eyes and opened them to see that he was sitting on a grassy hill facing the side of the library. Another sweet-smelling breeze blew a few leaves past and somewhere in the distance he could hear children playing a game. He felt weirdly calm.

Still confused, however, Naruto turned to his left where the voice has came from. The pink-haired girl from earlier was laying on the grassy hill next to him, arms behind her head and eyes closed. One lid opened to reveal a mint green iris focused on him.

“What happened?” Naruto asked, surprising himself at how easily the words came out.
The girl paused, looking at him in a bored way, one eye still closed before she responded, “You had a panic attack and passed out at the library so I carried you outside. But then you looked really weird just laying there unconscious so I decided to lay down next to you so you wouldn’t be embarrassed. It’s actually pretty nice here. She closed her eye again and relaxed into the grass.

Naruto’s brain short-circuited.

Sakura POV

It’s so annoying that the library is full today. I wanted to do some research in peace but--

Sakura lost her train of thought as someone bumped into her, setting her nerves even more on edge in this crowded building. “Hey, watch it!” She yelled before whipping around to face the person who had so rudely invaded her personal space.

What she didn’t expect to see was the kid she had treated in the hospital only a week prior. Lady Tsunade herself had to treat him because of how bad his injuries were. It was like nothing she had ever seen. No fire could burn and peel skin like that. Images of his skin covered in boiling blood ran through her mind before she remembered that she had gotten in trouble because he left without being properly discharged. and barefoot out the window no less.

“You’re the kid from the hospital!” She pointed an accusatory finger. The boy turned pale. Much paler than was to be expected. She noted his breathing seemed erratic and he looked like he was sweating. He may have a fever. Sakura idly wondered if he had probably managed to get his wounds infected and if jumping out of a hospital window barefoot was any indication of how well he took care of himself, it must be dire.

She recognized the beginnings of a panic attack. She was a nurse in a hospital for ninjas, after all. How could she get him to calm down? The boy was looking everywhere but her face. If she could get him to focus, it might ground him.

“Are you alright, Naruto? Stay with me. Can you take a deep breath for me? Naruto?” Sakura could see that her attempts to calm him were not working and his eyes were growing glassier. Before she could try anything else, he collapsed.

The other library-goers gasped and began to panic as some of them noticed the unconscious youth. Sakura only sighed and grumbled something about idiots before she knelt down and hoisted Naruto easily over her shoulder.

“Everything is fine. I am a nurse training under Lady Tsunade. I’ll make sure he is okay. Everyone, please go back to your reading,” Sakura announced before leaving the library with Naruto flung over one shoulder.