Work Text:
“... then he fell over his—ah!”
Lan Wangji looks up in time to spot Wei Wuxian dropping his chopsticks in favour of fanning his mouth, a pained look on his face. Before Wei Wuxian knows what’s happening, Lan Wangji has leapt to his feet, brows furrowed ever so slightly as he strides over to his side.
It’s dusk, and Wei Wuxian and Lan Wangji have been eating their evening meal together. Wei Wuxian has been, as he is inclined to do, filling the comfortable silence with little interjections and short retellings of interesting things that have happened throughout the day.
However, as one particular story about Lan Jingyi’s clumsiness had taken a particularly humorous turn, Wei Wuxian had become too enthusiastic in his retelling. Unfortunately, having foregone blowing on his chunk of pork to cool it in favour of reenacting the Lan Clan junior’s mistake, he’d shoved it into his mouth without much thought.
“Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji murmurs, voice laced with concern as he places a gentle hand on Wei Wuxian’s shoulder. Wei Wuxian holds up a hand, eyes watering as he spits the pork onto a plate. Tongue burning with the familiar hot, uncomfortable, sand-papery feeling, Wei Wuxian leans into his husband’s comforting touch.
An idea falls into his mind, one so mischievous it has Wei Wuxian’s lips curling into a smug grin. Feigning light-headedness, he falls backwards, warmth bursting through him when he feels Lan Wangji’s strong arms catch him.
“Lan Zhan,” he says weakly, “hold me close. My mouth hurts,” he gasps, shamelessly burying his face into his husband’s chest. Lan Wangji cradles him like a newly born foal, hands caressing Wei Wuxian’s cheeks as he moves him onto his lap.
“Ah, ah,” Wei Wuxian moans, fanning his mouth theatrically. Lan Wangji peers down at him, a brow raised. Wei Wuxian simply grins innocently, gazing up at his husband with big eyes as he cuddles into his arms.
“What a good Lan Er-gege,” Wei Wuxian praises, tracing a finger over Lan Wangji’s shoulder. He lets it run over the hard curve of Lan Wangji’s bicep, then dip into the crease above his elbow. Finally, Wei Wuxian reaches Lan Wangji’s wrist, his smile becoming softer as he interlaces their fingers.
An index finger tilting his chin up brings his attention away from their clasped hands and back to Lan Wangji’s ever-serious face. “Yes, my dearest Laogong? My Chong-Er? My Baobao?”
With each pet name that passes Wei Wuxian’s lips, Lan Wangji’s ears turn progressively redder and redder until his blush threatens to invade his cheeks. “Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says, sounding vaguely strained.
“Yes, A-Zhan? What is it?” he simpers, eyelashes fluttering obnoxiously as he plays with a lock of Lan Wangji’s jet black hair. His husband doesn’t reply, eyes sweeping over Wei Wuxian’s prone form as he seems to consider something.
Then, he’s dipping Wei Wuxian into a heart-stopping kiss.
Wei Wuxian’s eyes blow wide, cheeks flushing scarlet as he grabs onto the lapels of Lan Wangji’s robes for purchase. Their lips press against each other softly, massaging gently as Lan Wangji pulls Wei Wuxian closer to his chest.
It’s only after several moments of Lan Wangji’s tender kisses that Wei Wuxian feels a hot, wet tongue sliding along the line of his lips.
He gasps, inadvertently granting Lan Wangji entrance to his mouth. His husband takes the opportunity, tongue curling around Wei Wuxian’s own.
Before he can comprehend what’s happening, Lan Wangji’s tongue is mingling with his in an obscene sort of kiss. Wei Wuxian can practically feel steam pouring from his ears, eyes as wide as saucers as his grip on Lan Wangji’s clothing tightens.
Lewd, slick noises emanate from the space between them, Lan Wangji’s brow furrowed as he pours all his concentration into—
Oh, Wei Wuxian thinks, something in his mind clicking. He’s trying to soothe the burnt spot on my tongue.
The very thought has Wei Wuxian blushing all over again, the dusky pink flush covering not only his cheeks but his neck and shoulders, too.
“Lan Er-gege,” Wei Wuxian manages to gasp, once Lan Wangji finally allows them to part for air. “You really… aiyoh,” he says fondly, shaking his head. “What did I do for the universe to grant me such a loving Laogong, hmm?”
Lan Wangji stares at him, eyes reflecting the light of the setting sun as he remains silent for a moment. Wei Wuxian isn’t bothered in the slightest; after all, Lan Wangji has never been one for words. Yet, when his husband next opens his mouth, Wei Wuxian is grievously unprepared for what he hears.
“You are the best Laogong I could have received,” Lan Wangji murmurs. “Do not slight yourself. You did not need to ‘do’ anything for me to love you.”
Wei Wuxian feels rather than sees his whole body turn bright red.
“A-ah, Lan Zhan,” he mumbles, covering his face with a hand. “You cannot simply—heavens, if we were not already married, I would be begging for your hand,” Wei Wuxian groans.
“No need to beg,” Lan Wangji says simply, stroking the skin between Wei Wuxian’s ear and his jaw. “I would give it to you without you needing to ask.”
I can’t handle this, Wei Wuxian thinks helplessly, rolling about in Lan Wangji’s arms. “Ah, Lan Zhan!” he exclaims, hugging Lan Wangji’s waist so that his face is buried in his husband’s tummy. “You’re too good to me,” he says, voice muffled by the white robes his husband wears.
“No,” Lan Wangji counters, gently removing Wei Wuxian’s face from his abdomen. When he doesn’t elaborate further, Wei Wuxian sits up.
“No?” he parrots, grinning when Lan Wangji turns to him with that calm, composed expression Wei Wuxian has grown to adore.
Instead of verbalising his thoughts, Lan Wangji just pulls Wei Wuxian into another kiss. This time, he doesn’t hold back, tongue entering Wei Wuxian’s mouth as soon as their lips touch.
Wei Wuxian makes an embarrassing noise, chest pressed to Lan Wangji’s as his husband devours his mouth. Lan Wangji wastes no time in pressing his tongue against Wei Wuxian’s once more.
At some point, Lan Wangji pulls Wei Wuxian onto his lap, Wei Wuxian’s legs either side of his lap as he tugs him closer. Wei Wuxian is pretty sure his lips are swollen and bruised, but in this moment, he wouldn’t stop kissing Lan Wangji for the world.
“A-Zhan,” he whispers, air filling his lungs as they pull apart just enough to breathe. Lan Wangji rests his forehead against Wei Wuxian’s, eyes soft as they gaze at his.
“A-Ying,” Lan Wangji replies, kissing the tip of Wei Wuxian’s nose. The action catches Wei Wuxian by surprise—Lan Wangji isn’t the type to do overly cutesy things.
Until now, apparently.
“I love you,” Wei Wuxian smiles, kissing Lan Wangji’s cheek with a tenderness that has his own cheeks blooming pink. He lets his lips linger there, not quite ready to part from Lan Wangji’s heated skin.
“I love you, too, Wei Ying,” Lan Wangji says easily, as if it’s reflex to declare his undying adoration for Wei Wuxian at the slightest notice.
“Mercy,” Wei Wuxian mutters under his breath, cheeks hot with equal parts embarrassment and affection for his husband. “Lan Zhan,” he says, louder this time. His husband looks at him patiently, head tilted ever so slightly.
“Such a good Lan Er-gege,” Wei Wuxian praises, smirking when the tips of Lan Wangji’s ears turn crimson.
“Wei Ying is the good one,” Lan Wangji argues quietly, hands resting on the curve of Wei Wuxian’s hips.
Wei Wuxian fakes a gasp, hand flying to his mouth as he shoots Lan Wangji a faux affronted look. “Me?” he exclaims. “The Yiling Patriarch? The founder of demonic cultivation? Good?” he sputters, as if such a notion is laughable.
“Very good,” Lan Wangji agrees. Wei Wuxian freezes, once again turning the colour of a ripe apple. Feeling his body crumple, Wei Wuxian collapses into his husband’s waiting arms, mumbling gibberish as he kisses Lan Wangji’s neck.
“Really, you are much too good to me,” Wei Wuxian laments, pressing a kiss to the shell of Lan Wangji’s ear.
“No,” Lan Wangji says again, more firmly this time. He moves Wei Wuxian’s hands onto his back, arms returning to their rightful place around Wei Wuxian’s waist. Silently, he noses at Wei Wuxian’s neck, inhaling deeply.
“Idols are made to be worshipped,” Lan Wangji murmurs against his skin, kissing it softly. Wei Wuxian feels his face heat up all over again, hiding his face in Lan Wangji’s neck.
“You…” Wei Wuxian tapers off, exhaling until he’s pressed flat against his husband’s body. “You cannot compare me to a God, Lan Zhan. My heart really can’t take it.”
“Mn,” Lan Wangji replies, sounding all for the world like he’s going to completely ignore Wei Wuxian’s plea.
And indeed, moments later, Lan Wangji is kissing his way up Wei Wuxian’s neck until he reaches his lips once more. “Does it still hurt?” he inquires, a little notch forming between his brows as he frowns. Wei Wuxian reaches up to iron it out with his fingers.
Lan Wangji pauses, watching as Wei Wuxian gently massages the spot between his brows. Eventually, once Wei Wuxian is satisfied Lan Wangji’s skin has returned to its usual smoothness, he pulls back, a grin lighting up his face.
“My tongue is fine now, thanks to a certain esteemed Hanguang Jun,” Wei Wuxian teases, laughing raucously when Lan Wangji’s eyes widen and his ear lobes turn pink.
“What a wonderful, noble, merciful Hanguang Jun,” Wei Wuxian continues, cupping his husband’s cheeks. Lan Wangji looks down at where Wei Wuxian is still sitting on his lap, seeming to calculate something in his mind.
Then, before Wei Wuxian can process what’s happening, Lan Wangji is flipping him onto his back, amber eyes flashing with a certain hunger that wasn’t there previously.
“What a mischievous, beautiful, adorable Yiling Patriarch,” Lan Wangji replies, kissing Wei Wuxian’s collarbone.
A hand sliding down Wei Wuxian’s leg and into his inner robes has his cheeks darkening to burgundy and his breathing hitching. “W-wait—Lan Zhan,” he protests, squeaking when Lan Wangji’s thumb brushes against his inner thigh.
“Lan Zhan! Lan—ah!” Wei Wuxian yelps, entire face bright red as Lan Zhan casts him a look that can only be described as predatory.
I take it back—Lan Zhan isn’t merciful at all!