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“It’s snowning.”
The peaceful stillness that settled comfortably over them was disrupted; he wouldn’t say in a bad way, not when the voice he’d heard spoke so softly — hinting with wonder if he listened more closely.
Shinji had been lazing about his day, playing the video games he owned, when Kaworu had called him and unexpectedly asked if he could come over. He’d agreed right away and sputtered over the call, embarrassed at his own excitement. Kaworu only chuckled softly and expressed his eagerness to see him again in turn. Now, they were lounging in his bedroom. It had been quiet for a while, both content with sinking into the feeling of having the other’s company.
Shinji answered with a questioning hum, not tearing his eyes away from the page of the book he was holding despite rapidly losing interest. He’d been too engrossed in Colorless Tsukuru Tazaki and His Years of Pilgrimage — the words never fail to draw him in — to hear his words properly.
Kaworu didn’t seem to mind. The awe in his voice more prominent when he spoke again, “It’s snowing,” he repeated. “Look.”
The gentle encouragement had prompted him to do so. He had half a mind to skim through the page he was on, but decided not to, opting to set it aside in lieu of looking up. He’d remember where he left off anyway, it wasn’t hard to — he had read it far too many times before.
Kaworu’s back was facing him, having his body face the direction of the window. Back straightened — how does he have such good posture? — as he looked on from where he sat on the floor, slightly rocking back and forth, his hair swaying from the movement.
He diverted his gaze from him to instead look out the closed window. Little specks of white, almost glittering snow fall easily from above. It is snowning. Huh. No wonder the air had been cold for the past few days.
“It’s a little early this year,” he noted.
“Does it come every year?”
Shinji’s brows furrowed in puzzlement at the question. Only when Kaworu looked over his shoulder to look at him did his initial confusion fade. He had moved from Germany just last year. It made sense that he didn’t know.
Shinji vividly remembers their first encounter: Kaworu, standing in the middle of the train station as he tried to read what’s written on the running in board. He had looked lost, then, and Shinji had felt bad — it was already past nine o'clock. After politely asking if he needed help with navigating and confirming that, yes, this is Tokyo, Kaworu had thanked him profusely in awful Japanese. Truth be told, he had an awful day — almost missing the last train from his visit to an old friend’s house — but the kind, warm smile Kaworu had given Shinji that night made things feel lighter, as surprising as that is coming from a total stranger at that time.
“Shinji-kun?”
Shinji vaguely thought of Kaworu’s progression with Japanese; he has definitely gotten better over the past year. Rarely did he ever make mistakes now that he’s lived here.
“Yes. But it’s kind of light, compared to other places,” he answered nonchalantly. It would be nice if it was heavier, but he’d also rather not get snowed in. He grimaced, remembering the times when he had to stay indoors for hours upon hours back when he still lived with Misato in Onsen — even when it ceased, trekking through the thick snow was still such a hassle.
Kaworu acknowledged his answer with a hum, nodding slowly. He looked like he wanted to say something else, considering the idea for a minute, but changed his mind the last second — his head turning back to the window with more vigor than necessary.
That had Shinji wondering. “... Do you want to go out in the snow?” he asked tentatively, not certain if he had read into Kaworu’s behavior wrongly. Still, by the looks of it...
He figured he wasn’t mistaken when Kaworu whipped around so fast that he’d almost hit his head, just short of a distance from the edge of the bed.
“Careful, Kaworu-kun,” Shinji chided softly.
Kaworu didn’t even bother about that. He wiggled on the floor and bounced to a kneeling position, palms splaying onto the sheets in front of him. “Could we?” he perked up, eyes shimmering, expectant. Shinji watched in amusement at the eager display. He could almost vision a tail behind him, wagging in barely-concealed excitement.
Times like these is when it’s really hard to say no to his whims; Kaworu’s pleading eyes were just so unfair, but...
“We could...” he trailed off, looking back up at the window. It wasn’t snowing a lot, so it shouldn’t be that freezing out. Although knowning Kaworu... “But you might catch a cold.” Shinji frowned. He recalls the last time Kaworu had fallen ill — it was so bad that he couldn’t leave the bed for a week, stricken with severe fever and an endless fit of coughing and sneezing. He had taken even more than a week to fully recover.
At this, Kaworu visibly deflated. Again, he could almost see a vision — the ears on top of his head drooping at the sad news. A small pout made its way to his lips, too.
Shinji looked at his face for a good few seconds to take in his pitiful, obviously-for-show expression, and sighed. “Alright, we’ll go,” he caved in. Kaworu rarely asked for anything — not so obviously anyway. He knows he would agree to whatever Shinji wanted to do in a heartbeat, it wouldn’t hurt to go along with what he wants every once in a while.
As expected, Kaworu immediately lights up, quick to jump on his feet. He could see him vibrating with excitement — literally; he was repeatedly rocking back and forth again with the soles of his feet. It’s funny as much as it is endearing.
Kaworu opened his mouth to say something, but Shinji held up a hand in front of him. “We’ll go, but” he said, pulling back his hand to cross his arms over his chest. “I’m bundling you up. I don’t want you getting sick again.” He smiled sympathetically. Really, if he can help it, he’d prevent Kaworu from catching another cold as bad as the last one.
Kaworu only shrugged. “Fine by me,” he said, already dragging him by the arm towards his — maybe their, since Kaworu comes by so often that he has his own set of clothes here now — closet.
Shinji wraps a red scarf around Kaworu’s neck; snug but not too tight, just enough to keep him warm. He pulled his hands back to his sides, resting them on his hips. “There,” he announced all-too proudly with a grin, seemingly satisfied with his own work.
Kaworu almost sighed as he watched Shinji reach for the beanie that hung on the wooden rack beside the door. He clearly was not kidding about ‘bundling him up’ — Shinji had handed him over a cornsilk-colored woolen sweater, a grey cotton cardigan, and a thick fawn winter padded-coat that went past his hips. When he had tried to insist that only a coat would suffice, Shinji did not respond kindly: he crossed his arms over his chest — something he had been doing quite often these days, Kaworu noticed — and gave him a look that said, take it or leave it.
The choice was obvious.
As Shinji rummaged through the drawer for his house keys, Kaworu took in what he was wearing — clothes that were far too less warmer than his. He frowns, worried that Shinji might get cold while they were out and not tell him. He knew his tendency of neglecting himself if it meant that other people get to enjoy themselves.
“Won’t you get cold in that?” he voiced his concerns.
“Huh?” Shinji looked down at the purple hoodie he wore, dusting it off with his hands. “No, I’ll be fine,” he said as he swung the door open and shivered upon the cool breeze hitting him head on.
Kaworu looked at him with disapproval. “Shinji-kun...” he said, half-scolding, and stepped in front of him to wrap his arms around his lower back to pull him close. “What if you catch a cold? I’d hate for you to get sick,” he mumbled with a pout.
Shinji smiled, partially amused, but mostly touched that Kaworu was equally caring of his well-being.
“I’ll be fine, Kaworu-kun,” he said, hoping that he sounded reassuring enough to sooth his worries. Kaworu was probably right, though; he might get cold, seeing that it had started to snow more than it had been minutes ago. “I can turn on the heater when we get back, anyway,” he reasoned with Kaworu — and himself.
Kaworu continued to pout at him for a minute longer, hoping to convince him to put something warmer on. Ultimately, he sighed, realizing that Shinji wasn’t going to change his mind — in fact, he looked more entertained as he made no move but watch his poor tactics of persuasion. Perhaps he’d have to think of something more effective, later.
“If you insist...” he grumbled lowly.
Shinji laughed, light and soft, and almost immediately his worries were pushed to the back of his mind. Always so infectious, that smile. Dare he say that it rivaled even the sun itself, peeking brightly. His own lips turned upright at the unrestrained look of mirth on his face. He’d consider it a reward, being the reason of that colorful beam.
Shinji shimmied out of his hold to take his hand in his, and the skin where their palms touched tingled pleasantly, warming up. “Let’s go?”
Instead of answering, Kaworu cupped his face to gently guide him close to his own, and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. “Thank you for agreeing to go out, Shinji-kun,” he whispered.
The light pink that dusted tan cheeks felt just as rewarding.
The ground crunched with each step they took, leaving footprints on the pile of snow that had gathered on the pavement. Even with boots on, the coolness still seeped in. Shinji was glad he chose to wear thick socks rather than his usual ones, otherwise his toes would have frozen over.
He couldn’t suppress the trembles of his body when another gust of wind passed by. His face contorted into a scowl, the harsh cold air prickling and numbing his face.
Kaworu glanced at him, a small smile plastered on his mouth. “Are you alright?” he asked, though it suspiciously sounded like less of a question and more of an I told you so.
Shinji could only huff as he squeezed his hand, a puff of white fog coming past his lips. He felt Kaworu’s hand do the same, fingers curling tighter around his in the pocket of the coat he wore.
They continued to walk in comfortable silence, save for the sound of crunching. Kaworu occasionally slipped in comments about small shops they’d pass by, Shinji nodding along his enthusiastic chatter when he did. They’ve walked around his neighborhood plenty of times, but Kaworu always had something new to say about it — sometimes even mentioning the things Shinji hadn’t noticed in the years he’s lived here.
A light tug on his hand pulled him astray from his thoughts. Kaworu cocked his head to the side. “We’re here,” he grinned and gently dragged him towards a small park.
It was where Shinji frequented to when he was younger, during the times when it was hard to cope with things in his life. He stopped coming here, until he had told Kaworu about it the first month after they had become friends. He was surprised that Kaworu was so willing to go visit it with him; after all, it was just a park, what’s so special about it? He’d asked the same question when he saw the delighted look on his face once they did come here, and the answer he had gotten had touched him so.
It’s not just a park, he had argued then. It’s where you grew up in. I want to know more about the you now, and the you before.
Slowly, Shinji realized, that he thought of it no longer a place where he hid back then, but it was now their own. They would go on walks to hang out, with time fleetingly passing by without either of them noticing, and later finding themselves at the same place. It was heartwarming, how Kaworu was always so on board with getting to know everything Shinji was willing to let him know — even something as simple as a place he went to as a kid.
“Be careful, it’s slippery,” he called out as he watched Kaworu walk quickly to sit on the swing, the metal chains creaking as he did.
Kaworu hummed as he reached out for his hand, beckoning him to sit down on the one next to him. “It’s getting a little rusty, don’t you think?”
Shinji brushed off the snow that gathered on the seat before sitting down — gentler than Kaworu had done. “Well, it is old. Older than me, even.” He kicked his feet off the ground, rocking the swing lightly.
“They should fix it.”
Shinji laughed at how serious he sounded. “We’re the only ones that come here now, you know?”
“Maybe more people would, if they tidied it up.” Kaworu nodded, as if confirming his theory to be true.
They stayed like that for a while, on the swings, with Kaworu going into detail about how the park should be renovated. He even talked about how adding a slide would be great for the kids that lived in the neighborhood. He did reject the idea of having a see-saw, saying that it’s a little... dangerous, what if the children injured themselves, somehow?
And Shinji is all too amused at all of this, how much thought he’s putting into it, like he’s actually considering of doing it.
“If you’re so determined, why don’t you do it?” Shinji half-jokingly asked. Despite the idea being the least of anybody else’s worries, he would be lying if he said he wanted the place to rust away; it was a means of escape, then — a place that had comforted him more than his own home — and now it meant something more, to the both of them.
He wasn’t surprised to hear Kaworu’s reply. “Perhaps I will,” he said purposefully, immediately adding, “I would need a hand, though,” looking just a tad bit bashful.
Shinji could only huff a laugh. “Sure, okay.”
By the time the sun started to set and the sky had turned orange, Kaworu was lying on his back on the snow-covered ground. His hair that almost camouflaged with the fluff of white was slightly damp from the melted ice. His skin was a lot paler than Shinji’s, so the glowing pink that tainted his cheeks from the cold could easily be discerned.
“Come on, Shinji-kun,” he whined, gesturing with his hands, telling him to come closer. “Won‘t you join me?”
Shinji hesitated. “Isn’t that dirty?”
“It’s snow, darling,” Kaworu said with a raised brow, chuckling when Shinji scrunched his nose as he stared. “You’ll be fine.”
Shinji went silent for a moment, thinking. He really doesn’t want snow getting into his hoodie — he was cold enough as is. He’d probably have to change when they get back, maybe take a shower, and—
... And maybe he really should learn how to say no.
“Only for a little, then...” he sighed, getting off from the swing. He had been sitting for a while, and his limbs were starting to get numb anyway. Shinji raised his arms above his head to stretch them.
A mistake on his part.
Before he could register what was happening, Kaworu had tackled him and they fell on the ground, the snow luckily cushioning their fall. He lied there unmoving, with Kaworu’s weight pressing him down.
“K-Kaworu-kun!” Shinji spluttered, half-surprised, half-reprimanding.
Kaworu’s breath tickled the side of his neck as he laughed. “Sorry, Shinji-kun,” he said, though he didn’t sound sorry in the slightest. “You just look so warm.” The arm on his side curled around his form, cuddling him close.
Shinji made a noise of embarrassment and frantically looked around to see if anyone was passing by. Luckily, the park was secluded from the path most people took, so no one was around to see them. He breathed a sigh of relief, and turned back to look at the mop of hair brushing against his cheek.
“You can’t just jump on me like that!” Shinji scolded, but made no move to push him away — which Kaworu realized and happily burying his face further into the crook of his neck with a contented sigh.
Instead of answering, the hand on the back of his head threaded through his hair. “You didn’t hit your head, did you?” he asked with genuine concern. Though maybe he was just trying to get away from another lecture. Shinji shook his head anyway.
“No, I’m fine.”
Kaworu said nothing as he lifted his weight off of him to lay beside him, his arm supporting his head as he turned to his side. Shinji mirrored him so they were facing each other.
Kaworu’s other hand reached out to cup the side of his face and gently caressed his cheek. Shinji closed his eyes and sighed, leaning into the touch in search for more of that warmth.
Even with his eyes closed, he could hear the smile in his voice when he spoke again, “You look so cute like this.”
Shinji opened his eyes to find Kaworu staring at him with a soft smile gracing his lips. He glared at him, embarrassed. “Don’t say that...” he mumbled.
Kaworu chuckled as he leaned in closer. “But it’s true, look,” the hand on his face moved away to settle back on his head, fingers brushing through the strands, and Shinji had to stop himself from pouting at the loss of contact. “The snow really brings out the color of your hair, not to mention, your eyes.” Shinji consciously looked away when Kaworu’s red gaze met his.
Kaworu’s eyes crinkled. “And your nose,” he whispered and leaned in, kissing his nose softly, “is so red. It’s so cute.”
“Stoppp...” Shinji whined, his hands weakly pushing Kaworu’s chest as he leaned back a little. He could feel his face burning even hotter at the attention he was getting. He’s not sure if he can take any more of Kaworu’s embarrassing narration.
Kaworu gave one last kiss to his cheek before pulling away entirely. “You’re just so pretty, Shinji-kun.”
“Kaworu-kun!”
Kaworu only laughed louder. Clearly, he was having fun with teasing him. And though he knew he meant it and was just being sweet, it was still embarrassing to hear!
In a moment of inspiration, wanting to somehow get back at him, Shinji had grabbed a fistful of snow and thwacked it on the side of his face.
“Wha—” Kaworu jumped, surprised at the sudden coldness. When he realized just what happened, he grinned mischievously. “Oh? Two can play that game, Shinji-kun,” he said, already snatching a handful of snow from the ground.
Shinji sneezed for what felt like the hundredth time that day. “Ugh...” he groaned loudly, wrapping the blankets around himself tighter as he tossed and turned around the bed. It felt so hot and so cold in the room at the same time.
He barely heard knocking before the door creaked open. “Shinji-kun? Are you feeling any better?”
He sneezed again. “I feel terrible,” he sniffled.
The bed dipped beside him. His eyes felt so heavy. Despite that, he pried them open.
The light hurt his eyes and made his head spin. He wanted to close them again and just go to sleep, but forced them to look up at Kaworu, who was sitting on his bed, looking at him sympathetically.
A hand brushed his bangs aside to feel his forehead. “Oh, Shinji-kun... I’m so sorry...” Kaworu said with a guilty frown on his face. “Perhaps I should’t have asked you to come outside...” he pulled his hand back and placed it on the mattress as he looked away.
Shinji felt the throbbing in his head intensify. He still reached out to hold Kaworu’s hand, squeezing them in a reassuring gesture. “It’s not your fault, Kaworu-kun.”
“But...”
Shinji hushed him before he could say anything else. “I’ll be fine. It’s not like this is the first time.” He’ll get better in a day or two.
Kaworu didn’t seem convinced, but said nothing more against it. Instead, he asked, “Is there anything you need?”
Shinji nodded, immediately regretting it because it only made his headache feel worse. “Yes, I feel cold,” he whined, reaching his arms out in case Kaworu misunderstood his intentions.
Fortunately, Kaworu got the message. He smiled again. “Good thing I’m here to warm you up, then,” he said, climbing onto the bed and under the covers to scoop Shinji in his arms.