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The door closed with a loud bang behind Porsche as he stumbled into the medical wing of the mansion, his eyes hysterically looking around the room for them to finally fall upon the victim of his questions.
The unlucky guy is one of Kim’s bodyguards who were on his service that day, and as soon as he sees Porsche, the new head of the minor family, he lowers his eyes and greets Porsche as soon as he is in front of him.
“Where are my brother and Kim?” he asks, doesn’t bother with formalities or greetings, there’s only one thing on his mind, and he needs to check on his little brother as soon as he can.
“They are in this room,” he gestured at the door at the end of the hallway. And Porsche turns around, second later he is stepping or rather running into the hospital room, his breath hitching in his throat as he sees a person on the hospital bed.
”Chay,” he calls out to his little brother, whose head is resting on his palm. His eyes are red from crying, and he probably rubbed the tired eyes too much, because that’s a habit of his.
“Hia?” Chay’s eyes flutter open, as he hears a familiar voice behind him. But Porsche doesn’t miss the shiver of Porchay’s shoulders when his name was called out.
The heartbroken look on Chay’s face wakes up Porsche, and he finally breathes again, rushing to hug his little brother. He wraps strong arms around Chay’s body, his head, being a human armor from the whole world. Doesn’t matter how grown up both of them were, Porsche never wanted to stop protecting his little brother, he would sacrifice his life in a blink of an eye for him.
They stay like that for a minute or two, and neither of them speaks. As time goes on, Porsche starts noticing how Chay starts gasping, as if there isn’t enough oxygen in the room. Porsche doesn’t let go of his brother, but stars calmingly run his hand through tangled hair.
“It’ll be alright, you are alright,” he tells his brother, but as soon as his gaze lands on the unconscious body on the hospital bed, he acknowledges that nothing is alright in their family. The heart monitor on the right side of the bed is beeping in a steady rhythm, unlike Chay’s breathing which isn’t as jagged as before.
“But he isn’t,” Chay cries out, wetting the blouse Porsche has one. One of Kinn’s favorites, they chose it together that morning. Just like he helped his younger brother to choose his clothes for the date he had this evening.
***
Porchay came to his older brother all stressed in the morning, scaring Porsche. But once he found out the reason for Chay’s crazy emotional breakdown, he started giggling and talking nonsense about Chay being all grown up, but still acting like a kid he always will be for him. But as much as Chay wanted to be more independent, he would admit, that he needed a piece of advice from his older brother. Perhaps even an encouragement before a date that Kim arranged for them weeks before.
“He found tickets to the concert of my favorite band even when all of them were sold out, Hia,” he smiled, telling Porsche all about the upcoming date and how Kim had tried so hard to not mess up their relationships.
“I hope you have a great time there, but remember not to do anything stupid, have a head on your shoulders,” Porsche said, fixing Chay’s hair after they chose which outfit was the most appropriate for the evening. And maybe Chay could go without his brother’s advice, but he needed and wanted to share his happiness with the closest family he has.
***
“He will, he always is,” Porsche encourages his brother, who now is a bit calmed down and looking at the pale face of his boyfriend.
Porsche finds a chair and brings it to the room, to sit beside Chay, holding his hand. Slowly he starts talking: “We were so scared when bodyguards interrupted the meeting with these news,” he said, “and they didn’t know who was hurt.”
And when Chay turns around to finally have a proper look at his brother, he meets his swollen eyes. He rarely saw his brother cry; he was the one who kept being strong for both of them no matter the struggles they were facing.
“We were rushing to the hospital, all I remember is how I tried to make Kim keep his eyes open for me,” Chay sniffles, “I told him I loved him, and I never want to see that painful smile on his face again, Porsche.”
Wanting to take his brother’s pain away, Porsche squeezed Chay’s hand tighter.
“He stepped in front of me, pushed me out of the bullet’s way,” Chay cries, “it was meant for me, not him. Who would do something like that?” he sobs, tears streaming down his exhausted face and down the neck.
“He cares for you so much,” Porsche muttered, tears welling up in his own eyes.
“What did the doctors say about Kim’s condition?” Porsche suddenly asks, meeting Chay’s eyes, “I gotta call Kinn, he still isn’t aware of the situation.”
“They said he is out of the woods and got lucky. What a stupid thing to say, if he was lucky we would be having dinner together right now,” Chay struggles to keep his voice down. Once he calms down, Chay continues to give overall news that he could remember from the conversation he had with the doctor: “He was under general anesthesia while they were working on the gunshot wound, I am not sure when he’ll wake up.”
Chay breathes out, as he brushes his fingertips over the dark skin under Kim’s eyes. As if he were collecting his invisible tears, the gesture tugged on Porsche’s heartstrings, the more time he spends in the room with Chay, the more he understood how grown up his brother is.
“I will go and call Kinn, I’ll be back here in a minute, you’re okay with that?”
“Okay,” Porchay lets go of Porsche’s hand, and carefully entangles his fingers with Kim’s. He makes a promise to himself and to his boyfriend that he’ll spend every day with him while he recovers, and he will be there for him no matter if Kim rejects the help. He whispers to no one in particular how badly he needs Kim to wake up and make fun of the silly thing Chay does or says, and he won’t be angry at him for that.
***
As the days go by, Chay doesn’t leave the room too often, he watches as doctors and nurses take care of Kim, and take his vitals, and Chay asks the questions that are worrying his mind. Porsche and Kinn stop by every time they have a free moment to take care of their little brothers, they bring food and give a hug to Chay as often as they can, reassuring him of good things.
And one day Porsche comes by with an unexpectedly big bag in his hands, showing it to Chay.
“Go one, take a shower, and change, I talked with nurses, they’ll show you the room,” he smiles, tugging his brother up from the white chair that has made his back hurt.
“No, I don’t want to leave him,” he says, shaking his head. His hair looked even more tangled and oily as if he was using his fingers as a comb.
“I will stay with Kim as look as you need to take care of yourself, please, do it for us?”
With that argument, Chay leaves the room without a word. He is definitely tired, and perhaps a warm shower could help with the pain in his back. Meanwhile, Porsche takes his place beside the bed, telling Kim how he is there to keep him company.
Minutes pass by, and there’s an unexpected movement that takes Porsche by surprise. The hand, he was holding is tugged out of his, and is traveling across Kim’s chest. The boy’s eyes are wide open, full of fear Porsche has never seen on Theerapanyakul face before.
“Hey, hey, Kim, it’s okay, calm down,” Porsche stands up, so the younger man can see him, “kid, you’re alright, calm down.”
Porsche takes Kim’s palm in his own once again, but this time Kim doesn’t struggle. He squeezes it as tightly as he can, considering he has been laying unconscious in the bed for the last few days, trying to catch a breath. His head is moving around, looking around the room, but his eyes searching for someone, and tears because of the bright light or sadness are forming in them.
And then it clicks in Porsche’s brain. “Porchay is alright, he is in a shower right now. I made him go and take care of himself for a moment.”
“He has been in this room the whole time, he needed a break.”
The worry from Kim’s eyes doesn’t fully disappear, maybe it won’t until he sees Chay with his own eyes, alive and breathing, until he touches his soft skin and looks into his deep and understanding eyes.
Porsche can physically feel his heart hurting from seeing Kim being so miserable in front of others. Never he has seen this man so worried and distressed.
Once Kim’s breathing calms down, Porsche tells him that he must find a nurse or a doctor to let them know about his condition. Kim just nods, looking at the ceiling, fighting his eyes from closing and falling into a deep dreamless sleep.
Moments later he can see shadows behind the room’s door. His heart starts beating faster, considering the threats he could face in the hospital, but none of them come true as he sees two women coming into the room followed by a smiling Porsche.
“It’s good to see you awake, Kim,” says the woman, once she starts asking more questions and taking his vitals and looking at the wounds, he has gotten days before.
Once his gaze falls to see what injury he had sustained which made him fall out of life for this whole time, he can’t look at the bruise for too long. Kim’s eyebrows jumped up and he suddenly avoided looking at anyone or anything.
Kim has seen many wounds; he has dealt with many people in a gruesome way and occasionally he saw their bloody bodies in his nightmares or before his eyes while awake but finding himself in a life-threatening situation must be something different. He was trained on how to act when being injured, but nothing could prepare him for the thoughts that came after that. The thoughts of how much he would miss out if he never woke up after the shooting.
Noticing his scrunched facial expression, Porsche takes Kim’s hand in his once again, squeezing them and getting all of Kim’s attention on him.
“There’s only up the road from now on, you did good, we are here for you, kid,” Porsche says.
“Stop calling me kid, it’s annoying,” Kim finally breathes out.
“Oh, I thought you forgot how to speak. But I am not stopping, you’re like a little brother to me,” Porsche laughs, as he sees the spark of anger, but also hope in Kim’s eyes.
He keeps holding Kim’s hand as the nurse finishes writing down her observations, she doesn’t have time to get out of the room and follow her colleague as the door flies open and there’s a wide-eyed face in front of them.
Chay’s hair is still wet, but he looks more like himself now, in comfy clothes and less tired eyes.
“What happened, I saw personal getting out of the room and thought something went wrong,” he blurts out, looking at Porsche who kept Kim’s hand in his.
And then Chay’s eyes fall on Kim, whose face lights up with a smile and eyes with tears, mirroring his boyfriend, who almost falls as he trips on his own feet, running towards the bed.
A small laugh gets out of Kim’s mouth when he finally can feel Chay’s hand in his, trapped between two Kittisawat brothers, neither of them planning on releasing his hand.
“So, this is us now?” he teases them, trying to hold both of his hands up, letting them know when he meant by that.
“As long as you two are treating each other right,” Porsche gives knowing look to the younger guys, “this is not ending.”
Maybe he meant the relationship between these two, maybe him caring for both of them as his brothers, but the heartwarming feeling filling up his chest reminded him that this was right. It would be right as long as he sees and recognizes the joy and care gleaming in their eyes.