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Buck watched Eddie disappear into the kitchen carrying empty snack bowls to replenish. People chatted around him, voices raised over the sound of the kids’ video game, but it was only a buzz to Buck. His fingertips tingled, eager to chase after Eddie and run them all over his smooth skin. If he could, he’d throw everyone out so he could stop holding back, but Eddie was hosting a birthday party for Karen and Buck didn’t have the right to shout at everyone to go home.
“What do you think? Buck?”
He stared at Maddie blankly, having tuned out of their conversation with Athena ages ago. Eddie had rolled his sleeves up, and it was sexy as fuck. By the twinkle in his eye when he caught Buck’s gaze, Eddie knew what he was doing to Buck’s breathing. The jerk.
“I’m gonna go see if Eddie needs help,” he blurted, setting his cup down and skirting around Athena without a backward glance.
The kitchen door swung shut behind him, and Buck sighed gratefully. He loved their friends dearly, but thoughts of Eddie filled his head too much today to be his usual social self.
Eddie stood at the island, forearms flexing as he scooped more veggie dip into a bowl. He made his own veggie dip and did most of their cooking now, if Buck were honest. Long gone were the days when he relied on frozen pizza and Abuela’s leftovers. His dedication to learning new recipes was just one of the many reasons Buck loved him.
“Hey,” he said, glancing at Buck. “Need something?”
Just you, Buck thought. “Wanted to see you.”
Eddie hummed. For all that they’d been in the same room most of the day, it felt like they kept missing each other, first while they set up for the party and then while Eddie greeted the guests so Buck could take care of Chris’s dire clothing emergency. Once everybody arrived, they got pulled into different conversations with Eddie checking that people had enough food and drink. It was pathetic considering they spent so much time together, but Buck missed him, like a piece of him was walking around without him.
He draped himself over Eddie’s back, fitting his arms around his waist and pressing his lips to the back of his neck, just above his collar. Eddie chuckled and rolled his shoulders back, leaning into Buck just a bit.
“What’s this for?” he asked. Voices carried from out in the living room, but here in the kitchen it was quiet except for Eddie’s steady breathing and the spoon clanging against the bowl as Eddie continued to dish out more dip.
“I haven’t gotten to kiss or touch you for hours,” Buck whined, tightening his arms around Eddie and brushing his lips over the knobs of Eddie’s spine.
Eddie snorted. “We can go a whole 24-hour shift without touching. I think you can last for a couple more hours until the party’s over.”
Shaking his head, Buck splayed a hand over Eddie’s stomach. His dark green henley was distractingly soft, and Buck just wanted to pet it, pet Eddie, but that wasn’t unusual. He always wanted to put his hands on him.
“That’s not true. I get to touch you on shift all the time, even if it’s just to pass you a halligan.”
“Okay, I’ll give you that.”
In answer, Buck kissed the spot behind Eddie’s ear and felt Eddie shiver. He smiled and dragged his palm up to rest on Eddie’s chest. “Just one kiss,” he murmured, grazing his earlobe with his teeth. “What could it hurt?”
“Everyone is just outside,” he said but not with any conviction. He put down the spoon and tipped back against Buck, snug against him from wide shoulders to powerful thighs.
“And we’re in here. I just wanna kiss you, baby,” he pressed, sensing Eddie’s surrender.
Eddie huffed and turned in the circle of Buck’s arms. Buck gripped the counter by Eddie’s hips and grinned at him. Eddie rolled his eyes but scrubbed his fingers through Buck’s hair, then cupped his cheek.
“You’re ridiculous,” he said.
Buck smiled and ghosted a kiss to the corner of his mouth. “But you love it.”
“Eh. Maybe.”
Buck pinched his side, and Eddie grinned. It was one of Buck’s favorite Eddie smiles, carefree and goofy, one that he saved just for Buck. His heart thumped. Sometimes he felt so full of love for Eddie that he was surprised it didn’t shine from every pore.
He swallowed Eddie’s laughter, drinking in the bright sound. Eddie tugged him closer, hands framing Buck’s face. The tension coiled tight in Buck’s body ebbed as Eddie melted into their kiss. He tasted salty and spicy like the chips and salsa he’d been eating, and Buck licked into his mouth, searching for the underlying flavor of Eddie that always made his head spin. With Eddie’s mouth under his and Eddie’s hands in his hair, he felt settled, like Eddie had scratched the itch under his skin that’d bugged him all day.
He trailed kisses along Eddie’s jaw and nuzzled his neck, sneaking a hand under his shirt to stroke his lower back, just under the waistband of his jeans.
“Missed you,” he said, brushing a kiss to the tiny freckle under his left eye. He half-expected Eddie to tease him again, but instead he smiled, slow and sweet, then drew him into another kiss.
This was what he needed, Eddie in his arms, the quick beat of his heart matching Buck’s. It might be enough to sustain him through the next couple hours.
“What the—”
Buck’s head snapped up, and he leapt away from Eddie like he was sixteen and getting caught in the locker room with the goalie on the soccer team. Chim stood in the doorway, mouth hanging open and eyebrows halfway up his forehead. Buck bit down on a stupid “This isn’t what it looks like!” but only an embarrassing squeak came out.
“Were you kissing?!” Chim squawked.
Buck winced and glanced at Eddie, who lounged against the island as if one of their friends didn’t just walk in on them making out. Shit.
“Say it louder so everyone in the living room can hear you,” Eddie said dryly, but a muscle in his jaw ticked.
Reaching out, Buck folded Eddie’s hand between both of his. All these months of being careful and sneaking around and pretending they were still best friends and nothing more, all the aborted touches and averted looks and making the most of whatever time they did have together, and one unguarded moment in Eddie’s kitchen undid all that.
“Are you guys together?” Chim asked and stepped farther into the room. He dropped his voice, thankfully, but it rose in pitch at the end.
“Uh, yeah,” Buck replied. Eddie smiled widely at him and yeah, it felt good to admit to somebody.
“How long has this been going on?” Chim waved between them, then crossed his arms.
“Three months,” he said at the same time Eddie said, “Six months.”
Chim raised an eyebrow, his gaze ping-ponging between them. “Which is it?”
“Officially three months,” Buck explained. “We fooled ourselves into thinking it was just about sex for three months.”
“Ugh.” Gagging, Chim’s face scrunched like he’d eaten a lemon. “I do not need to know that.”
Buck exchanged grins with Eddie, leaning in close to press a soft kiss to his cheek. When exactly their relationship started was an affectionate argument between them. Eddie contended it began with that first kiss, both of them lonely and turning to each other to fill the empty spaces, but Buck insisted it was when they owned up to their feelings and went on their first date. It was all right; he kinda liked having two anniversaries.
“So you don’t want to hear about the time we almost broke our bed?” Eddie asked, deadpan, except for the twinkle in his eyes that made Buck’s heart flutter.
Fuck, he loved this man so much.
“I hate you,” Chim groaned and dropped his head into his hands, pressing his fingertips into his eyes. “But wait. Our bed?” He peeked over his fingers, a smile growing visible behind his hands. “I knew you were living here! Maddie said I was seeing things.”
“Technically I still have the loft.”
Eddie snorted. “When was the last time you slept there, babe?”
Buck saw Chim mouth babe, his eyebrows pinched together.
“I could sleep there. If I wanted to.” Which he definitely did not.
“Mm-hm.”
Buck got lost in the mirth dancing in Eddie’s dark eyes until a pained noise from Chim reminded him they weren’t alone.
“You’re going to be really gross about this, aren’t you?” Chim asked, but he couldn’t quite suppress his smile, and Buck felt a rush of gratitude that it was Chim that discovered them.
“Undoubtedly,” Eddie said happily.
Chim sighed. “I can’t believe you’re really dating.”
“Engaged, actually,” Buck said, and Chim’s mouth dropped open again. It was still new, Eddie asking him a few mornings ago. It was a rare morning they didn’t have to rush out of bed, and they’d lingered, talking quietly about their plans for the day. And then Eddie surprised him by proposing, whispering the words into Buck’s skin. They didn’t leave the bed for a long time after that.
“Holy shit,” Chim breathed. “I can’t wait to tell Maddie about this.”
“No!” Eddie and Buck said in unison. Chim startled, frowning.
“Sorry, it’s just—you can’t tell anyone, Chim,” Buck said.
“I can’t keep this a secret! I’m terrible at keeping secrets!”
“I know. We just—”
“It won’t be for long,” Eddie cut in. “We’d like to tell everybody ourselves, in our own time.”
Chim deflated, then collapsed on the island, banging his head on the counter a few times. “Okay. Of course. I might explode, but I’ll keep my mouth shut.”
“Thanks, Chim,” Buck said, squeezing his shoulder. “We’ll tell people soon, we promise.”
The kitchen door swung open then, prompting Buck to move away from Eddie again. Maddie came in. Looking them over, she wrapped an arm around Chim’s middle. He turned slightly away from her, plastering on a smile that appeared a bit distressed. Buck bit back a grin.
“Things okay in here?” she asked. “You’ve been gone a long time.”
“Oh, just got caught up talking,” Eddie replied smoothly.
Buck wished he could kiss him, but he always wanted to kiss Eddie.
Maddie eyed Chim, who was being unusually silent. “Do you want me to carry those out for you?”
“That’d be great, Maddie. Thanks.” Eddie handed her the filled bowls, and she walked out after a kiss to Chim’s cheek.
“Don’t make me keep this secret too long,” Chim warned, wagging a finger at them.
“We promise,” Buck said.
***
Silence blanketed the firehouse. Most people had collapsed into bunks an hour ago after a rough call left them exhausted. Eddie had taken one look at Buck’s slumped shoulders and the strained lines around his mouth and pulled him upstairs to the couch. Using Eddie’s thigh as a pillow, he stretched out, hanging his sock-covered feet over the arm of the couch. Eddie combed his fingers through Buck’s hair and caressed down his face, a soothing arc that slowly leached the tension out of Buck’s muscles. They normally wouldn’t be so brazen, especially at work, but after a call like that, he craved Eddie’s touch.
Soon they wouldn’t have to hide anymore. It was fun at first, sneaking around, pulling Eddie into dark corners to suck the sweetness off his tongue or holding hands under the table. The thrill wore off, though, and for reasons Buck couldn’t remember anymore, they decided to keep things quiet. And he was okay with that, completely, but he looked forward to the day he could shout his love for Eddie with his full voice.
“You should sleep,” Eddie murmured, scrubbing his fingertips through the short hairs behind Buck’s ear.
“Mm.” He turned his face into Eddie’s stomach and wrapped an arm around his waist. He didn’t know how he got so lucky to have Eddie and Chris in his life, loving him and building their little family together. “Too tired to sleep.”
Eddie snorted softly. “Babe—”
Footsteps sounded on the stairs, and Buck levered himself up and away from Eddie. He stayed close, though, pressing their shoulders together.
“It’s just me, kids,” Chim announced as he appeared around the couch. “Don’t stop cuddling on my account.”
Sighing, he fell back against Eddie, resting his head on his shoulder.
“Hey, Chim,” Eddie said. His hand sank back into Buck’s hair.
Chim sat on the coffee table, propping his elbows on his knees. “Listen, I know I’ve been kinda annoying the past few weeks.”
Buck choked out a laugh. Annoying barely covered it. Chim spent the last month popping out of nowhere to ask random questions like “Are you sure I can’t tell Maddie?” and “Does Chris know?” (“It would be hard for him not to know, considering I basically live there,” Buck replied.) While it was great to be open and honest about it, Chim’s constant questions and badgering them about telling everybody were exhausting sometimes.
“Okay, yes, that’s an understatement. But I feel we’re even since I had to learn about you guys jerking each other off in the bathroom the last time we hung out at the bar.” He shuddered dramatically, and Buck smothered his laugh against Eddie’s shoulder. “Anyway. I realized in all this I never really said congratulations. I’m sincerely happy for you and so glad you finally figured your shit out.”
“Oh,” Buck said, stunned. “Thank you, Chimney.”
“Yeah. It means a lot,” Eddie added.
“You’re welcome.”
Buck squeezed Chim’s knee. Chim smiled, patting his hand. Not too long ago, Chim would’ve avoided sentimentality like he was allergic. Buck couldn’t take credit for the change—that was mostly Maddie and Jee—but he liked to think he maybe had something to do with it.
“And we’re telling everyone at Bobby's BBQ this weekend,” Eddie said.
“Oh, thank god.” Chim sagged in relief, his smile growing brighter. “Not saying anything has been a nightmare!”
“Sorry it was such a chore,” Buck said, rolling his eyes. “Try doing it for half a year.”
Chim’s mouth worked. “Shit, yeah. You’ve had it harder.”
“It hasn’t been easy,” Eddie said. “I wouldn’t change a thing, though.”
Buck lifted his head and found Eddie gazing back at him, eyes all gooey soft and beautiful. Buck kissed him, a quick press of their lips, mindful of where they were, and nuzzled into the palm Eddie had cupped around his cheek.
“And on that note, I’m getting a drink and heading back down to the bunks. Be good, kids.” He clapped them each on the shoulder and jogged off.
When his footsteps faded away, Buck lay down with his head in Eddie’s lap again. Eddie gripped the back of his neck, thumb sweeping under his collar.
“You should sleep,” he urged, snuggling down and resting his head on the back of the couch.
“All right.”
He closed his eyes and smiled, inhaling the comforting scent of their lavender detergent clinging to Eddie’s uniform shirt.
Just a few more days and they wouldn’t have to hide anymore.
***
“Ready?” Eddie murmured, leaning close to be heard over the hum of conversation around them.
People filled Bobby and Athena’s backyard, enjoying Bobby’s mouthwatering BBQ, sipping on lemonade and sweet tea. Buck had only picked at his food, his stomach in too tight a knot.
“No,” Buck replied with a laugh. He thought doing this with all their friends here would be easier than having to tell people individually, but now the size of the crowd felt too daunting. Giving a classroom full of second graders a fire safety talk seemed less intimidating.
“We’ve got this.” Eddie squeezed his thigh under the cover of the picnic table.
Sneaking his hand down, he clung to Eddie’s tightly. “This is stupid. I shouldn’t be nervous.”
“It’s a big deal. It’s natural to feel nervous.”
“How come you’re so calm then?”
Eddie grinned, cheeky and crinkly-eyed, and bumped their knees together. “I’m just better at hiding it. My stomach keeps swooping like we’re on a rollercoaster.”
“That makes me feel better.”
“Hey,” he said, stroking his thumb over the back of Buck’s hand. “It’ll be okay.”
“Right. Let’s get this over with,” Buck said with as much determination as he could.
“That’s the spirit!”
“I just really want to kiss you right now, and the sooner we tell people, the sooner I get to do that.”
Rolling his eyes, Eddie laughed. He swayed closer and murmured, “I love you. Let’s do it.”
Buck nodded, then wiped his hands on his jeans and cleared his throat. He hesitated, debating whether or not to stand. He blew out a breath and pushed off the bench, Eddie rising smoothly beside him. Their shoulders brushed, and Buck took courage from Eddie’s solid presence. He could face anything as long as he had Eddie.
“You want me to start?” Eddie asked when Buck still didn’t speak.
“No. I’ve—I’ve got it.” Raising his voice, he called, “Hey, can I get everybody’s attention for a sec?”
Conversations slowly died down, and people drifted over from other parts of the yard, all eyeing him curiously. Except for Chim. He bounced in his seat, one hand over his mouth and the other in a death grip on Maddie’s arm. She shot him a look, then turned back to Buck.
Shit. Okay. Now or never.
The noise in his head quieted as Eddie slipped a hand into his, held slightly behind their legs so only Ravi, sitting right beside Buck, could see it clearly. His eyes widened, and he made a kind of squeaking noise that somehow put Buck at ease.
“Eddie and I have an announcement,” he said and paused to swallow. He should’ve written a speech or at least come up with a few words instead of winging it.
“You’re so attached at the hips that you decided to move in with Eddie and Chris?” someone called, and a ripple of laughter danced through the crowd.
“Sort of.” He looked at Eddie, saw the love blazing from his eyes, and broke out into a smile that was no doubt disgustingly besotted. “We, uh—”
Lifting their joined hands, he kissed Eddie’s knuckles, then tilted his chin up to capture his mouth in a soft kiss. He figured that said enough without needing words. Eddie smiled against his mouth as pandemonium broke out, everyone talking at once, demanding explanations and details. Buck laughed, tucking his face in Eddie’s neck.
“I like doing that out in the open,” he told Eddie, ignoring all their friends for a moment.
“Me too.” He pressed his smile to Buck’s cheek, then straightened to face everybody. “Oh, also, we’re engaged,” he said loud enough to be heard.
Maddie shrieked, then practically vaulted over the picnic table and launched into Buck’s arms. He caught her with a small grunt and wrapped his arms around her. His cheeks hurt from smiling.
“I am so, so happy for you,” she said, clutching him tightly, his ribs creaking under the force of her embrace. “I want to know everything.”
Laughing, he lifted her off her feet for a giddy moment before setting her back down. “Okay.”
He would definitely leave out all the naked bits, though. They teased Chim with those details to watch him squirm, but no way was he sharing that with his sister.
Congratulations flooded over them then, an overwhelming rush of hugs and questions. In the face of everyone’s excitement and joy, Buck wondered why they didn’t do this sooner. Habit, maybe. They started in secret and in some ways, it was easier to keep going that way, to not disrupt the apple cart, but it felt amazing not to lie anymore.
“Come in early for your next shift,” Bobby told them, face stern, but he broke a moment later. A smile split his face, and he gripped their shoulders. “Congratulations. I’m not happy about the stack of paperwork you’re forcing me to do, but I’m happy for you.”
“Thanks, Cap,” they chorused.
Eddie slipped his arm around Buck’s waist and kissed his temple. “Buck’s worth whatever paperwork we need to do.”
He must be deeply in love if even that made Buck’s heart thump hard against his chest.
However it started, whenever it was official, he’d do it all again if it meant having Eddie in his life like this. It wasn’t anything he ever expected or let himself hope for.
He couldn’t wait to see what other sweet surprises the future might bring.