Chapter Text
Overcast days in Piltover reminded Viktor of the gloom of Zaun, if he closed his eyes he could almost feel the oppressive miasma of the undercity pressing against his skin. Of course, the illusion was broken when he inhaled the fresh coastal air that was free of the noxious fumes characteristic of the Lanes. And of course in Zaun, there was no Jayce. Jayce, who was now completely disturbing the quiet morning by crashing through their apartment and stumbling over himself out onto the balcony, hellbent on interrupting Viktor’s peaceful morning coffee break no doubt with some inane and terrible news fresh from this morning's council meeting.
“They’re still pressuring me to get married,” Jayce said breathlessly. He must have sprinted back, Viktor noted idly, fighting the urge to lean over and brush a loose strand of hair from the man’s face.
“Goodmorning to you too Jayce.” Jayce gave him a plaintive look that told Viktor the man was about to start whingeing on about something. Viktor took a languid sip from his coffee mug, deciding to interrupt Jayce before he got the chance to open his mouth and go on a tangent. “Haven’t they been doing that for months now? Just keep using the work on the hex gates as an excuse.”
“Not good enough. They were really pushy today, threatening to cut off funding and all.”
“That’s certainly not good. Well, what do you want to do about it? A shotgun wedding in Bandle City?”
“I don’t know, but Bandle City really? What do you take me for? Wait don’t answer that actually I don’t want to know.”
“You and Professor Heimerdinger are awfully close that’s all, maybe he has a niece.”
Jayce sat down with a huff in the empty patio chair beside Viktor and burying his face in his hands. “We’re so busy with the hextech, especially now as the gates near completion I don’t even have time to talk to people let alone date. Let alone marriage. In fact, I hardly see anyone besides you and Cait.”
“Well, if it's any consolation it is the same for me. The work is too important for distractions.”
“Would you be terribly mad if I just let us lose the funding and we find a new career path?”
“Please, Jayce you know my health is not good, you’re going to give me a heart attack with these jokes. We are six years into our Ph.D. program and almost done with the research phase of it don’t even entertain the idea of mastering out. I forbid it. I did not form a crippling dependency on caffeine for anything other than our mutual success.”
“I don’t even know where to begin with this. I don’t even get why they want me to get married anyway. How is it any of their business?”
“Well as graduate students, the university and by extension the council, basically own us. So they can demand whatever they want, I’m sure it's for some weird eugenics pseudo-science reason blah blah House Talis bloodline continuation stability blah blah. Your brain is one of the universities’ most prized assets at the moment.” Jayce snorted. “ And I don’t know maybe just get temporarily married to someone. Quick wedding quicker marriage, funding secured, the hexgates go up, we become wildly famous and successful beyond all our aspirations, and then a quick divorce and you and the lucky person forget it ever happened.”
“Well, it's not a bad plan. There’s just one issue V, who are we gonna find to marry me.”
“Why, you are asking me of all people this question I don’t know, first off I already told you about Heimdinger’s niece and secondly you know I don’t leave the apartment other than to teach my lectures and go to the lab. I suggest asking Miss Kirammen, this may be a gross exaggeration, but she does seem slightly more well-adjusted than either of us.” Viktor waved a dismissive hand at Jayce. “Actually, why is this even an issue, Miss Kirammen was just telling me the other day about how half the university is in love with you.”
“I’m not going to marry a random person even if it’s temporary. The legal paperwork is going to be a huge headache, especially with all the patenting, intellectual property, and assets concerning hextech. It has to be someone we know and trust. Besides if the council can tell it's fake it’ll all be a waste anyway.”
“Yes, it’d be awfully inconvenient, perhaps Miss Kirammen would be willing? Maybe not though her parents seem like the sort to be wanting to avoid the public scandal of divorce. Not to mention, her preference for women is widely known.”
“Yeah, especially with Cait’s mom on the council. Probably not the best move.”
Jayce sighed, rubbing his temples before he suddenly turned toward Viktor with a strange expression. One that immediately invoked bad feeling, Viktor knew that expression and it always resulted in either something blowing up or a scolding from the council.
“What about you?”
“What about me?” Viktor said, being deliberately obtuse.
“You’re my best friend and research partner. We spend all this time together surely we can craft some convincing story--”
“About what falling grossly in love over,” Viktor glanced at the academic paper he had brought out with him and left on the patio table, “photon-driven plasma wakefield acceleration? How romantic.”
“Come on it wouldn’t be too much of a stretch to say after all this exposure to my good looks and charisma that you, the hermit of the university, has finally succumbed to my natural charms,” Jayce said, grinning smugly.
“Please Jayce, I didn’t know you were adding comedian to your illustrious list of self-espoused talents. Wipe that idiotic smile off your face you look demented.”
“I don’t know why you’re playing hard to get Vik. We both know you’re going to do it. If not because of my status as the number one bachelor in Piltover at least for the funding. My own husband marrying me for money. I’m disappointed in you dearest.”
“Alright, alright, stop embarrassing yourself. I’ll do it to save both our careers. Just no pet names.”
Jayce beamed. “Well, that took less convincing than I thought. I get it though, I’m quite the catch.”
Viktor restrained the sudden and violent urge to hurl his still half-full cup of coffee at Jayce’s head, silently reminding himself his partner could not afford to lose any more brain cells, or else the gates would never get done. “I have nothing to say to that. Let’s just come up with a good story later. I need to do some research on containing hex particle charge and perhaps you need to prepare to tell the council of our happy felicitations and make sure we don’t end up thrown out of the university.”
Jayce grinned at him, his smile so wide and a tiny bit crooked, Viktor felt something in his chest ache and suddenly got the distinct feeling that Jayce was going to do something truly awful like give him a hug. “You won’t regret this. I knew I could rely on you partner.” And then, Viktor’s fears proved themselves true, Jayce leaned over and slung an arm around Viktor’s shoulders giving him a tight squeeze before he dashed off into the recesses of their university-sponsored apartment, no doubt about to hatch some way to deliver the news to the council in the most shocking and problem-inducing manner possible.
“Don’t forget to pick up the new parts of the wing of gate 17c. We are running tests in two weeks!” Viktor called after him, wondering what he had just gotten himself into.
By the next morning, Viktor had, in all honesty, forgotten about their conversation on the patio when Jayce came to find him. It was probably some sort of testament in itself to how well Jayce knew him, considering Viktor had tucked himself away in one of the farthest corners of the university in one of the labs in the university's labyrinth of a basement. He’d been too preoccupied with making plans on conscripting some hapless mech e undergraduate into helping him weld together some parts of the gate that he didn’t hear Jayce creep in and sneak up behind him.
“Viktor,” Jayce said into Viktor’s ear causing the man to jump and nearly bang his head against Jayce’s as he whirled around. Jayce, the smug bastard, stood there grinning maniacally.
“Good news, the council gave their blessing or at least Mel and Professor Heimerdinger did. I’m here to propose.”
“Propose what? I don’t want to write up any more research proposals until the gates are done.” Viktor huffed, unamused turning back to his work.
“Don’t pretend to dense V. I know you’ve been consumed with the research but we literally just talked about this, I’m proposing to you,” Jayce said, whipping out a platinum band from his pocket.
There was a distinct moment of awkward silence, while Viktor stared dumbly at the ring glinting in the hexlight, his mind which had just been preoccupied with solving a theorem was now trying to compute what the fuck was going on here. Somehow this ring and whatever insubstantive thing it represented felt a little more complicated than the proof he had spent the last hour staring at.
“Uh, you’re not gonna say no are you?” Jayce said, chuckling nervously. “Cause this was a little expensive to commission on such short notice. I had to get Mel to pull some strings for me actually. And I already sent a letter to the council announcing our engagement, I think our funding will definitely get cut off if we renegade on it.”
“Yes, of course, the funding. I’m sorry our conversation yesterday had slipped my mind.” Viktor said.
“Alright, great. May I?” Jayce smiled, gesturing towards Viktor’s hand.
Still a bit shocked that Jayce actually followed through on this plan that Viktor had half-jokingly gone along with, Viktor nodded. Jayce grabbed his hand, Viktor willed the flush he could feel creeping up the back of his neck away as he watched Jayce slip the band around his ring finger. It sat snugly catching the thin threads of light that illuminated the room.
“Perfect.”
At the sound of Jayce’s voice, Viktor looked up and felt his hands get instantaneously more sweaty when he made eye contact with Jayce, his eyes a dark molten gold in the half-light.
Taking a swift step back Viktor said, “it fits well how did you know my size?”
“Oh, I just took a look at your class ring from undergrad. You like it right? I have the other one.” Jayce said, holding up his left hand to display the twin to Viktor’s ring.
“Yes, it's great thank you. Very convincing. Let me know how much it was. I can pay you back, it is after all our project that this is saving.”
“Don’t worry about it. What kind of a fake husband would I be if I didn’t buy my lovely betrothed his ring? We can figure out a cover story tomorrow. Now let’s forget about all these silly politics and get some work done on the gates today.”
Oh right, silly politics. Viktor buried the awkward mix of emotions he was feeling and filled Jayce in on where he was at with the construction of the gates.
Viktor was in a good mood a few days later. Instead of conscripting one undergraduate mech e student, he managed to wrangle about twenty of the little wretches with the university’s blessing to boot (something about giving more opportunity for course credits and hands-on coursework). Though this action on the university’s part had resulted in giving the endeavor more of a lecture hall learning experience feel rather than free labor from the youth that Viktor had been going for it would get the job done. Hardly anyone had commented on his new ring, though to be fair he hadn’t really run into anyone other than Jayce and Professor Heimerdinger, who had offered a brief but sincere congratulations and a pointed ‘about time’ comment that Viktor had elected to ignore for his own sanity, since he had gotten it. This was probably the reason why Viktor thought it would go unnoticed by the general population. He realized he was gravely mistaken when he went to go round up his gaggle of undergraduates from the front of the university, while he was gesturing towards the route they would be taking to reach the construction zone he noticed that about half the group had gone moon-eyed.
“Any questions about today’s instructions?” Viktor asked, figuring maybe if he just ignored it the problem would go away.
It was to no avail however, Viktor indicated that one of the students should ask her question and she blurted, “Is it true you and Mr. Talis are betrothed?”
Viktor felt himself flush. He really didn’t understand where these undergraduates got their audacity from. When he had been their age he had been afraid to even ask questions about the coursework.
“Yes, but Miss Argenti I meant questions about today’s work not about my personal life. We are working on the reactions of hexgems when they combine with different metals not my recent engagement.” The young lady had the decency to look sheepish at his admonishment. However, as they began their trek through the city he could still hear snatches of gossip.
I can’t believe it's not just rumors, he just doesn’t seem like Mr. Talis’s type.
What he’s not you?
No, he's you know, from Zaun.
I’m surprised a cripple would catch Mr. Talis’s eye.
At this, Viktor picked up his pace and stepped out of earshot, there was no need to listen to such distractions.
Unlike his suddenly somewhat tumultuous personal life that Viktor had been trying his best to not think about, the work on the gates went smoothly. Viktor was satisfied with the progress he and the students had made and was already pondering new modifications for the gates as he walked the unruly bunch of undergrads back to the university. He waved them off instructing them to meet him there at the same time next week and in a fit of pettiness made a note to dock a point from Miss Argenti’s participation grade for drawing attention to his engagement as opposed to asking a relevant question to the class.
“How’s the construction going?” Jayce asked as Viktor stepped through their door. Their apartment was a university-sponsored one but because of their multitude of special situations, the Kirammen’s being Jayce’s sponsors, the two of them having invented a whole new branch of technology, the Medarda heiress’s favoritism towards Jayce, and-- well, Viktor could go on and on about all of Jayce’s accolades that had landed them the overlarge apartment in the nicest part of town. The building was a five minutes walk from the university, complete with two suites branching off from the main kitchen and a living area with a set of two laboratories for work. It was the nicest place Viktor had ever lived in his entire life.
“It's going. The students seemed more concerned with the gossip mill.” Viktor said, gesturing to his ring. “Are you sure it’s not going to damage your image to be with me?”
“Of course, not Viktor, you’ve been my partner for years and you’re integral to hextech’s creation. Everyone knows how brilliant you are. And when the gates are complete even the council will be in your debt. You’re the perfect match for me in this situation.”
“You do realize when the gates are complete it won’t even matter because we won’t need funding anymore?”
“Well, it will further prove wrong whatever rumors these insecure fools are spreading about your competence right now.”
“I fear it is not a question of my intelligence but of my background. I’m from Zaun, I don’t even have a house name.” Viktor pointed out.
“That doesn’t matter, you’ll be taking mine as soon as we sign the paperwork anyways,” Jayce said. Viktor decided not to point out that his partner had avoided the question. “Speaking of Zaun and paperwork, there’s an added layer of issue with Piltover’s immigration offices. Piltover has pretty loose protocols concerning citizenship; did you know Mel’s from Noxus?” Jayce continued, while Viktor gave him an unamused look. “Well, it’s just the issue with your Zaunite citizenship-- there’s a couple of extra hoops we have to jump through.”
“Like what?” Viktor said, stepping over the clutter towards an empty spot on the couch that Jayce was occupying. Both of them were generally pretty neat, but whenever exam season or crunch time for work on the gates rolled around things tended to get messy.
“We may have to do some interviews with the immigration office. Just to prove our legitimacy. It’s all for the best really since we need to make sure our story is believable for the council anyway.”
Viktor rubbed his temples. “You know I could get deported to Zaun for this?”
Jayce scooted closer to him on the couch, placing a warm hand on Viktor’s shoulder--Viktor wondered if Jayce even realized how much he liked to invade other people’s space when he was trying to charm them into something. “It’ll be fine, honestly, I’m sure we’ll hardly have to lie. You already know almost everything about me. And I know all your habits after six years of living together. We just have to embellish it with a little romance.”
“Oh? What are you planning to tell the council and the immigration officials?”
“We can just stick as close to the truth as possible. We’ve been research partners for years and then a few months ago we realized we felt something more for each other. Everyone knows how private of a person you are V, they won’t be surprised to find out we’ve been dating for a while and have just made it public because of the council's pressure for my engagement. I can even say the reason why I was so adamant against getting married when they previously pressured me was because we were already together but unsure if we wanted to get engaged yet. See simple,” Jayce smiled beatifically.
Viktor had a distinct feeling that this was going to end up being the opposite of simple, but Jayce was the one who dealt with people, not him. “Alright, have it your way. But if I get sent back to Zaun without finishing our hextech research, you are lugging half our equipment to the undercity and helping me continue our research from there.”
“Fine, fine, if that does happen, I’ll do it. I’m not worried though. I’ve convinced Cait to help me plan our engagement party in two weeks' time. It is basically the penultimate event before the quick courthouse wedding I’m envisioning.”
“Engagement party?” Viktor spluttered, feeling his palms get sweaty at the thought of having to mingle with Piltover’s high society. He could hardly stand the council and they paid his bills.
“Lady Kirammen insisted on it. And well she is still technically my sponsor.”
“And Miss Kirammen agreed to plan it?”
“Co-plan it. Me and you will also be in charge of some of the preparations. And she only agreed to help in exchange for us to keep the male suitors away from her at her birthday later this year.”
“This is going to seriously distract from the work on the gates.” Viktor sighed.
“Just think about it this way, we’re just securing the funding we need for the gates. In a few weeks all the excitement over this will die down and things will go back to normal.”
“What about the wedding?”
“What about the wedding?” Jayce repeated, confused.
“We are telling the council we are engaged because they’re pressing for your marriage,” Viktor said, slowly. “Are we not also getting married?”
“I mean technically we’re kind of on a deadline according to the council. I feel like I can try to push it back as far as possible. I really appreciate you doing this Vik, I don’t want to inconvenience you too much.”
“It’s no inconvenience Jayce. It’s my funding that we’re securing as well.”
“I know, it’s just it’s my fault the council is pressuring us.”
“Don’t worry about it. We’re partners.”
Jayce leaned over placing his hand on Viktor’s shoulder, Viktor could feel the heat of his hand through the thin shirt he was wearing. “Thanks, Vik. You know what? Let’s just forget about this mess for a bit and get some rest so we make some strides on the gates tomorrow. I’ll heat up some sweet milk for you. I might need your help calculating the potentials of these flux tubes with lattice gauge theory though can you take a peek at them, they should be somewhere under those.” Jayce said, gesturing to the messy mound of papers on their coffee table as he got up and headed over to the kitchen.
“Alright, just give me a minute. I was on my feet all day wrangling the undergraduates into doing some passable work on the gates.”
“If your leg is bothering you, I can put some of that ointment on it before we go to the lab, one second,” Jayce called from the kitchen.
Viktor flushed at the thought of Jayce's hands against his bare skin. “No, no. I can take care of it myself.”
“It’s no problem, there’s no need to put on a brave face in front of me you know. I insist, let me help you.”
“I’m perfectly capable of taking care of myself you know. I’ve been doing it long before we met.”
“I know you are, but that doesn’t mean you have to,” Jayce said, poking his head back through the archway that led to the kitchen.
Viktor gulped, trying to ignore the strange mood that had fallen, he flipped through the stack of papers looking for Jayce’s notes with strangely anxious energy, “Well, I suppose it’s alright, but this won’t be a regular thing.”
“Great, roll your pant legs up I’ll be right there.” Which Viktor did, albeit feeling weirdly exposed as he sat on the couch with part of his metal brace enclosed around his calf exposed to the open air.
“Jayce,” Viktor called. “Your notes are not here.”
“Oh, I must’ve left them in one of the labs remind me about it tomorrow,” Jayce called from the kitchen.
Jayce came back over with a mug of steaming sweetmilk in one hand and a coffee with a generous amount of creamer in the other. He pushed a teetering pile of papers out of the way and set the mugs down on the well-stained surface of their coffee table. Jayce made a vague grabby hands gesture, which result in Viktor lobbing the creamer at his head--to no avail, Jayce was unfairly athletic to Viktor’s frustration and caught it with ease.
“Mind the metal,” Viktor said, wincing a bit as Jayce placed a warm palm against the tender skin of his calf.
“Yeah, don’t worry I got you V.” Jayce said, carefully disengaging the mechanism around the brace with steady hands. Viktor let out a small breath as it clicked open and Jayce placed his warm hands over the red indents the brace had left on his skin.
“It’s kind of hard not to worry, I saw you accidentally rip the wrong wire last week and blow up part of one of the labs.” The feeling of Jayce’s large hands rubbing the lotion in gentle circular motions was getting too much, so Viktor decided to use his tried and true method of avoiding all emotions concerning his out-to-lunch partner: starting an argument with Jayce.
“Well it’s fixed now isn’t it?” Jayce said defensively.
“Hmm I did see some leftover scorch marks around the drain yesterday and half of your table is still melted. “
Jayce waved his hand dismissively, “Well the table’s still usable there's just less space now. It’s basically fixed. These things are meant to be used and broken.”
“Oh is that your new excuse for when the annual university audit rolls around and they look at the fact we’ve bought six new desks for you this year?”
“Perhaps. Anyways don’t worry about the audit-- I was a finance major in undergrad.”
“I thought your family made hammers?”
“What you don’t think hammer makers need to pay taxes or something?”
“Do I look like I’m an expert on taxes? I’m from Zaun, we don’t have a centralized government in charge of taxes. Just kingpins and chembarons.”
“Do chembarons give out tax breaks or returns on their protection fees?”
“You know what-- give me that sweetmilk.” Viktor said, making an aborted motion towards the table where the mug was resting.
“Ah ah ah.” Jayce said, managing to grab it before Viktor and holding it just out of reach.
“You really want to be like this? Alright.” Viktor said, crossing his arms. He turned around and dragged himself across the couch to where his cane was resting. “I honestly don’t need an excuse but it was kind of you to give me one.” He brandished his cane at Jayce menacingly.
“Woah V, I’m just kidding around, here take your sweetmilk.” Jayce set the cup down. It teetered precariously before stabilizing on the uneven surface of the coffee table.
Viktor put down his cane with a huff, snatching the mug from it’s spot. “In all seriousness--” Viktor stopped, feeling a shiver going down his back caused by the fact that Jayce had chosen to grab his bad leg and start rubbing it again.
“What was that?” Jayce had a shit-eating grin on his face. Viktor found himself regretting not bashing him with his cane.
“What do you think you’re doing?” Viktor winced, as Jayce’s fingers grazed a particularly raw spot, though the cooling sensation of the ointment caused the discomfort to fade rapidly.
“Helping my partner out,” Viktor noted the shit-eating grin had yet to be wiped from his so-called partner’s face.
“Oh really.”
“Hey you’re so uptight all the time, I figured this could help you loosen up. Like physically and emotionally.” He stopped rubbing Viktor’s leg to make a rude gesture with his hands all the while his stupid grin got impossibly wider.
“Hey since you’re so insufferable all the time thanks to your overinflated sense of ego, maybe actually working on our research might help you take your head out of your ass instead of spending all day getting off to the council’s praises.”
“Am I sensing some bitterness there Viktor? What if I’m impotent and the council is the one way I can satisfy my sexual deviance huh? A bit thoughtless of you to shame me amidst a time of personal struggle isn’t it.”
“You’re moronic. And I have a hard time believing your impotence if the rumors around the academy are anything to believe.”
“Oh jealous my love?” A moment passed where Viktor didn’t breathe, heart catching in his chest. He hoped Jayce didn’t notice. “Don’t worry once the wedding is done I’m all yours.”
Viktor scoffed, lightly removing Jayce’s hands from his leg. “Alright, get your hands off me. I’m tired and saving my virginity for the marriage bed. I suppose I can only hope the council will not have to be there in order for us to be officially consummated.”
Jayce stilled, pausing with an extremely weird look on his face. “You’re a virgin?”
“No Jayce, that was what intelligent life calls ‘a joke’. It’s alright, I know you’re a bit slow. Take a moment to digest the concept. Then please help me up, I’m tired and ready to go to bed.” Jayce gave him a miffed look, but stood up from the couch and lent Viktor a firm arm before handing him his cane. Jayce, as usual, had no concept of boundaries and Viktor had to gently pry his hand off his arm so he could shuffle off to his bedroom without Jayce being attached to him like a limpet, something that had happened before. “Goodnight Jayce, all joking aside, I really must impress the importance our of upcoming deadlines upon you. You should come with me on Wednesday to look over the progress on the gates, you technically have more metallurgy experience than me anyway.”
“Alright will do. I am sorry I’ve been so busy with these stupid politics. You know how the council gets.”
“No, I know how you get. Unable to say no.”
“You know what, I have nothing to say to that. It’s a fair assessment. Goodnight Viktor. Don’t hesitate to call if you need anything. Even if it’s another one of my fabulous massages,” Jayce waggled his fingers menacingly before he turned and crept into the shadowy archway that led to his wing of the apartment. Viktor watched him go.
Viktor stumbled out of his suite a few hours later. He blearily stumbled around the kitchen with his cane trying to get the espresso machine, which had been a Snowdown gift from Jayce’s mom two years ago, to work so he could add an espresso shot or ten to his sweetmilk. There was a weak autumnal light streaming in through a crack in the curtains; the curtains themselves were automated, like most things in their overly-nice apartment that Viktor was still almost certain must’ve been some sort of bribe directed at Jayce. Viktor hit a switch on the large control panel set into the wall between the living room and kitchen resulting in the grey morning flooding in. That’s when he heard a perturbed groan from the couch. He shuffled over, his mug of sweetmilk successfully mixed with espresso in hand.
“What the hell Viktor,” Jayce said, from where he lay on the couch, his arm thrown over his eyes. There was a mediumish mound of metal contraptions strewn across the weathered coffee table and the notes Jayce had asked Viktor to look at the previous night that he couldn’t find in front of him along with a scorched pair of flame-retardant gloves.
“Goodmorning Jayce. Make any leeway?”
“Close the curtains then ask me about the gates.”
“When did you wake up?” Viktor said as Jayce let out a sigh of relief while the curtains whirred shut.
“Couldn’t sleep so I came back out here. The good news is I’ve optimized the alignment for the polarity of the hexcharges for gates 15f and 17c. The bad news is I feel like dogshit.”
“Nice job. You want some espresso?” Jayce made a grabby motion with his hands. Viktor passed him a cup. “I’m about to leave in twenty and head back to the lab on campus do you want to come with?”
“Yeah, sure, let me just take a quick shower and become a normal person real quick,” Jayce said, downing the espresso.
“I’m afraid it’s going to take a lot more than that to make you normal Jayce.”
“Haha very funny.”
It was still early by the time they made it to campus, a thin layer of snow had fallen overnight and it crunched underneath Viktors’ boots as he spied on Jayce out of the corner of his eye. The big idiot’s face was flushed with the cold, his breath turning white in puffs as they trudged towards the engineering buildings. They walked in companionable silence through the quad. Though it was early the university grounds were still plenty busy with students on their morning runs, those headed to early lectures, or those still up from a night of study slogging home. Viktor himself, even after the espresso laced sweetmilk feels a bit groggy, which is why probably he failed to notice Miss Argenti bounding up to them with Councilwoman Medarda in tow before it was too late.
“Mr. Talis I must say it’s an honor. Also good morning professor!” Miss Argenti yelled as she rushed towards them. Jayce was visibly startled, the frightened-rabbit expression on his face made Viktor chuckle internally.
“Goodmorning Jayce, Viktor.” Lady Medarda said, looking somewhat harried, which really said something about Miss Argenti’s… zest for life considering Viktor rarely saw Lady Medarda lapse in her composure. Viktor opened his mouth to return the sentiment but before he could Miss Argenti interrupted.
“Congratulations on your upcoming nuptials!”
Viktor made eye contact with Lady Medarda, who gave him a long pitying look in solidarity. He could have sworn she mouthed the words ‘major investor’s daughter be civil’. But he was no expert in reading lips or in being civil so he was going to elect to ignore this warning if need be.
“Thank you,” Jayce smiled encouragingly. “Are you one of my fiance’s students?” Attention whore , Viktor thought viciously, trying to stare the sentiment into the side of Jayce’s face as he ignored the swooping sensation in the pit of his stomach at the word fiance . Unfortunately, the man in question successfully avoided his psychic attack and encouraged Miss Argenti’s lengthy anecdote of how such-and-such recommended Viktor’s course and what a wonderful time she was having under Viktor’s tutelage. Personally, Viktor didn’t know what was so exciting about an angry Ph.D. student threatening to jab you with his cane if you didn’t weld metal sheets together fast enough while explaining the relationships between hexcores and different metals but to each their own he supposed. Viktor made a mental note to save a jab for Jayce for this cruel and unusual torture he was being subjected to at the hands of his supposedly-loving partner and Miss Argenti later.
Mel, being the political genius she was, had the ability to read the room, unlike some people that Viktor could stand to name. She pulled him aside, “she’s begun complimenting Jayce’s research now, I think they’re going to be a minute, you know how much Jayce likes to hear people talk about him.”
“Trust me, I’m well aware. I can only hope that Miss Argenti doesn’t get Jayce to nag me about fixing her participation grade. He’s easily susceptible to outside influence after his ego’s been softened by compliments.”
“Yes, I’m familiar with that trait of his. I’ll be hoping for your success in both dealing with your students and your successful engagement. I must say it did take me by surprise. I thought it would take something on the scale of a Noxian invasion for you two to get your acts together.”
“Noxian invasion? Are you hinting at a state secret right now?” Viktor said, desperate for any kind of subject change. Lady Medarda laughed.
“If I answered that I’d have to have you executed by the Ferros’s secret police you know. Anyways, don’t think you can run from this discussion of you and Jayce’s engagement, I’m quite curious you know. It was certainly abrupt.”
Sending up a prayer to whatever god was listening, Viktor sighed internally. “I’m not really sure what there is to know. We’re just two… normal people in love and figured now was a good time to get married.”
“Oh?” Mel raised an eyebrow and simultaneously put the fear of god into Viktor. “And this had nothing to with say-- council funding of the hexgates?”
“Yes, ah uh wait no, no. Me and Jayce being in love and engaged has nothing to do with the hexgates. I don’t even know what those are.”
“You expected me to believe that you don’t know what the subject of your doctoral thesis is?”
“No no no, that was a joke. Ha ha. Brought about by post-engagement jitters.”
“Name five things you like about Jayce go.”
Viktor hesitated for a brief second. “Well, he’s smart. You know, I’m sure you know he’s a brilliant scientist--”
“Oh hey, are you guys talking about me? I’m flattered.”
Evidently, lured by the sound of his name paired with a compliment, Jayce had wandered over with Lyra Argenti in tow. Viktor was overtaken by the sudden and violent urge to eat glass. Mel looked entirely unsurprised. Typical.
“Yes, Jayce. Your lovely partner has been illuminating me on how your engagement isn’t a sham to secure council funding.”
“Of course not, it’s been a long time coming. Though the council’s pressure on our funding did speed up our timetable it’s nothing that wasn’t already planned.” Jayce said innocently, golden boy smile just slightly too wide plastered across his face. In Viktor’s humble opinion, he looked like he was on the verge of a conniption.
“I just want to be candid since we’re all friends here. You are both are terrible liars. And you are lucky I like you boys and believe that hextech is the future of Piltover. Whoever the rest of the council sends to audit the both of you will be harder to convince. Now if you excuse me, I have to further discuss with Miss Argenti who the third library that her family is funding will be named after. I’ll see you both at Friday’s budget meeting, I do hope you’re prepared.” Mel said, extending a graceful arm to the young lady, who looked like the cat who had got the cream, evidently, her thirst for gossip and aggressive complimenting of Jayce satiated.
Viktor was immediately anxious about rumors of his and Jayce's marriage being a sham being formulated on her part which he was sure would be spread through the university by tomorrow morning if Miss Argenti had anything to say about it.
“See you around Mel and have a pleasant day Miss Argenti I would love to come to see House Argenti’s metal archives,” Jayce said, cheerfully. Though by the twitching of his left eyebrow, Viktor could tell he was about to have to do emotional damage control as soon as Miss Medarda left.
“Goodbye Council Woman Medarda and don’t forget to do the discussion post this week Miss Argenti I noticed you haven’t been particularly active on the forums recently,” Viktor said.
“I will, I definitely will Viktor sorry please don’t dock my participation! And it was lovely meeting you, Jayce, again my congratulations on the engagement!” Miss Argenti, said in a rush as she waved.
“Have a nice day boys.” Mel gave them one last beautific smile, before guiding Miss Argenti away and launching into conversation with her.
As soon as she was out of earshot, Jayce grabbed his arm and dragged him into the nearest building straight into an unused utility closet.
“You know this is much sexier in porn,” Viktor said sneezing. For his own sanity, he elected to ignore the cloud of dust his sneeze had unsettled. “Also I already told you I’m waiting till marriage. So I won’t be having sex with you in this closet.”
“Be serious Viktor. We both know that you’re too repressed to engage with any kind of porn and--” Jayce hissed. “What the fuck are we going to do?”
“What if I don’t want to be serious hmm? You dragged us into this mess so it is your job to be serious about it and my job to make jokes at your expense, my expense, and the last six years of our work’s expense because all of our research is going to be for naught since we’re going to be guillotined by the council for not actually being engaged. Not to mention, between the two of us we have the emotional intelligence of one small goldfish, so I’m not sure why you even thought we could successfully fool anyone. Councilwoman Medarda just gave me like two veiled threats concerning our careers and she actually likes us.” Yep, Viktor surmised there was definitely a hysterical edge to his voice.
“I resent the goldfish comment.”
“Oh yeah?” Viktor gave him a withering look. “How many people have you dated since we met? The number wouldn’t happen to be shaped like an egg, would it? Wait scratch that, I’m setting the bar too high. How many actual friends do you even have besides me and Caitlyn?”
“Listen. What if instead of me answering those questions we both obviously know the embarrassing answers to, we focus on working on our couple vibes until the budget meeting.”
“You want us… two of the most respected and accredited scientists in Piltover, to as you say, ignore our groundbreaking revolutionary work-- work which one might even describe as glorious--that will change our society as we know it and focus on vibes? Please explain, this to me, Jayce. I find myself quite confused. We have four deadlines next week to meet and we are standing in a utility closet.”
“V, please stop pretending to be difficult because you’re upset with me. I know I’m stupid and bad when it comes to social pressure you don’t need to play this game to make me admit it.”
“You know what I want you to say.”
“If I say it will I have your full cooperation?”
“Yes.”
“Viktor, the light of my life, my most beloved partner. The smartest man in both Piltover and Zaun. I’m sorry I couldn’t say no to the council when they pressured me into doing something stupid, again. This will not turn into the same fiasco as the fight over the aesthetic designs of the hex gates did. I promise I will take your side and I’m sorry I’m so spineless.”
“Hmm you could stand to add a few more compliments next time, but I suppose I’m satisfied.”
“Okay, good now kiss me.”
“Wait what--” Viktor managed to get out before Jayce was grabbing his cravat and pulling him closer. Heart-hammering, Viktor jammed his extended arm between their chests, elbow locking and putting just enough space between their faces. The other arm braced his weight on his crutch. “What the hell do you think you’re doing?”
“Well…” Jayce trailed off, scratching the back of his head sheepishly. He even had the decency to take a tiny embarrassed step back. “Look, maybe if we make out in front of the council it’ll make them so uncomfortable that they’ll just believe us? And I figured we just needed to practice to make it look convincing?”
Viktor pinched the bridge of his nose, almost stunned at his partner’s idiocy. Before deciding it would be an insult to his intelligence to even address any of what Jayce just said. “Okay, I was wrong when I said it was up to you to be serious about this. Clearly, you’ve lost your mind. Listen to me slowly, we are going to get out of this closet and go to the lab to do some work on the gates and we are going to get Caitlyn to plan an engagement party wild enough that it will distract from how bad we are at acting and save our careers.”
Jayce had the decency to look somewhat abashed. “Alright.” He said. “That does sound like a more effective plan.”
After a bit more waffling on Jayce’s part, Viktor all but dragged him across campus, cane in one hand and Jayce’s elbow in the other straight to the lab where they worked in blessed silence. Jayce had evidently caught onto the fact that Viktor’s quota for his stupidity had been filled for the time being.