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Two weeks, which means fourteen days. Fourteen days Wei Ying will be away from home, traveling with his Shishu and his friend. Fourteen days Lan Zhan will have to spend without Wei Ying's company.
I can do it. Lan Zhan reminds himself for the nth time of the day. Wei Ying had left Cloud recesses about two and a half hours ago. It was not considered a long time by others. Lan Zhan himself never considered two hours long, up until now. His next class will start in an hour. Until then Lan Zhan has nothing to do. Usually Lan Zhan passes this free time talking with Wei Ying. Or rather, Wei Ying talking with him and some other disciples that Wei Ying calls his friends. Now that Wei Ying was not here, he was sitting alone in the main compound waiting for class to start. Wei Wuxian's friends were with him too. But they didn't talk. Even if they did, their conversation died down as soon as it started, for it was interesting to none. He wished Wei Ying was there, with them. He'll find something interesting to talk about. If not he'll talk about something boring and find ways to make it fun.
"Aahh" one disciple sighed. "I wonder when Wei-Xiong will come back" he added.
Wei Ying had promised to come back soon. He promised he'll bring gifts for him. Lan Zhan believes in his friend. He won't break his promise.
But what if Wei can't keep his promise. What if something happens to him on the way, what if his Shishu was not paying attention to Wei Ying and he gets lost. What if Wei Ying gets taken away by his Shishu. What if Wei Ying likes spending time with his Shishu so much that he decides to stay with his Shishu for the rest of his life. Lan Zhan can't let that happen. He knows Wei Ying is free to do what he wishes. Yet, Lan Zhan wants Wei Ying back. He wants Wei Ying to come back right away and say "I don't want to be with Shishu. Staying with you is more fun Lan Zhan!"
Lan Zhan doubts that will hardly be the case. He has seen Xiao Xingchen. He smiles more, he laughs more, he jokes more than Lan Zhan ever has in his eight years of life. Xiao Xingchen is far more fun to be with.
Since Wei Ying will not come to him, he will have to go to Wei Ying. He'll make sure Wei Ying doesn't get hurt, or get lost, or get taken away. He'll bring Wei Ying back to Gusu, back to Cloud recesses, to his home. If he refuses, Lan Zhan will have to drag him back.
Determined, Lan Zhan runs to make his journey. It has only been two hours. They shouldn't be far from Cloud recesses. They should still be in Gusu. If Lan Zhan runs really fast he can catch up to them. He can retake the missed classes with Wei Ying. It's a brilliant idea.
"Eh, Lan-er gongzi, where are you going?" startled, one of the disciples asks.
"To Wei Ying." He solemnly replies.
*
Lan Zhan never thought he'd be betrayed by his own clan, by his own peers. He is not friends with them, but they can be passed as classmates. As a classmate, could they not support Lan Zhan? Must they really have to bust him out to Shufu? Must they warn guarding disciples to stop Lan Zhan from going down the mountain?
Lan Zhan could only run halfway to the rock steps until Lan Yunshi swiftly came flying on his sword and picked him up by the neck like a cat. He was scolded by uncle for even thinking about running away. He was scolded by the teacher for bunking his class, for joining late. He should be embarrassed, he should regret his decision, he should atone for his actions. It's what the rules say. Not his heart. Deep down his heart he wants to attempt another escape. He can't bring himself to regret his actions.
He couldn't attempt another escape, the guarding disciples stopped him before he could make a run. He was interrogated about where he plans to go. He couldn't tell them he was going to find Wei Ying. He can't make an excuse to go out and look for Wei Ying. He can't lie either. Part of him doesn't want to break this rule, part of him just can't come up with a lie. He's not as smart as Wei Ying to make a lie that sounds too honest to disbelieve, or a lie that can't actually be called a lie.
By the point he could escape Cloud recesses using the back gates it was noon. Wei Ying must have left Gusu already. He doesn't even know where Wei Ying would be going.
"A-Zhan, do you want to go to town?" Xiongzhang has apparently found him escaping. Lan Zhan turns back to Cloud recesses replying, "no."
*
Fourteen days is not a federal case. Lan Zhan can wait for fourteen days. He'll attend his classes, meditate, train his body, practice sword forms. He'll go to the library, read books, practice calligraphy. He'll go to the music hall, learn new songs or practice the ones he already knows. He'll pass his days like he did before meeting Wei Ying, after Muqin's death.
Lonely.
He'll pass his days feeling lonely. He knows he has his brother with him. He has his Uncle. He now has his father too. He is known well among his peers. They don't avoid him like they had back then. He knows he is surrounded by many people. Yet, he feels lonely. He feels lonely during breakfast. He feels lonely during class, he feels lonely during training. He feels lonely during self study sessions. He feels lonely during dinner. He feels lonely while going to bed. And he wakes up with a feeling of loneliness.
"Wangji, pay attention." Shufu scolds. He has messed up his guqin notes once again.If this continues Shufu will be extremely mad. Surprisingly, Shufu doesn't get mad. He shifts and takes Lan Wangji's wrist to examine his pulse. He lightly places his fingers on Lan Wangji's neck and then his forehead. Lan Zhan knows he's not sick. His pulse rate is normal, his qi is flowing through his meridians as per usual, his temperature is perfect as well. Regardless, Shufu shakes his head in disappointment. What could Lan Zhan have done to make him disappointed and sigh so loudly. He fears he will complain about his inattentive behavior to Fuqin. His father will certainly know his son is not as good as him. His father will be so disappointed that he'll refuse to look at him. Maybe even go back to seclusion.
"Hahaha, Lan Zhan! That won't happen." Wei Ying would say if he were to be here. Wei Ying would laugh and say Lan Zhan was thinking too much. He'd distract his thoughts and take him to play. Make him forget what he was worried about. Then again, Lan Zhan wouldn't be having these thoughts if Wei Ying was there with him.
"You are dismissed from class, go rest." Shufu says, turning his attention back to class. Without a protest Lan Zhan does as he was told. But can he rest? Ever since Wei Ying left, he feels restless. At the same time he feels all his energy has drowned. He can't rest, he can't run. He can't concentrate.
He goes to the bunny field instead of Jingshi. There too, he feels sad. He always comes here with Wei Ying. To feed them, to play with them. Or to simply watch the bunnies walk around. Xiao Yan and Xiao Tang, The first two bunnies Wei Ying brought had already died. Bunnies die too fast apparently. Like, how his mother did.
"Muqin" he murmurs. Muqin was the person that made him the happiest. She smiled,laughed, teased and played with Lan Zhan. She listened to whatever Lan Zhan had to say. She complimented him when Lan Zhan showed her his writing or his dictation. Her compliments were outrageous. Lan Zhan hadn't told her how much he loved her. He didn't even show her through his actions. He should have hugged her back, he should have smiled more brightly. But he couldn't. And then all of a sudden she was gone. Just like Wei Ying had. Wei Ying left him. And he will not come back like Muqin.
Lan Zhan felt his eyes sting. He noticed tears were rolling down his cheeks and he was trembling. Why? He didn't know. He felt lonely, that's why. It's a petty reason to cry.
Do not grieve in excess, Do not be overly sad.
Shufu's words echoed in his head. He didn't want to grieve over his mother's death anymore. Wei Ying said his mother will be sad if she saw him crying for her. He doesn't want to be overly sad and cry because of Wei Ying's absence. He'll cry if he learns that Lan Zhan cried for him. He knows he should keep his emotions in control. It's part of becoming strong. Like Fuqin said in that one outing. One has to be emotionally strong. Lan Zhan is aware that he is physically strong. All the elders say so. But they never said he was emotionally strong or spiritually strong. Because, Lan Zhan isn't strong like that. He can't accept what is given to him. He can't accept this loneliness.
"A-Zhan," Xiongzhang calls him from his back. He tries to hide his face, to wipe his tears away. No matter how much he wipes, new droplets of tear escape from his eyes. He tries not to flinch when his brother places his gentle hand on top of Lan Zhan's head. He sits beside Lan Zhan, and asks, "May I know what you are thinking." In other words he wants to know what Lan Zhan was thinking that made him cry. Lan Zhan doesn't want to say he was thinking about Muqin. It'll make Xiongzhang sad as well. He does however talk about Wei Ying.
"Wei Ying left." He surprises himself at how broken his voice sounds. Xiongzhang doesn't mention it. He guides Lan Zhan to a hug and strokes his hair. His hugs aren't as tight as Wei Ying, nevertheless comfortable and calming.
"It's okay, you can cry." He says in his ever so gentle voice.
Oh, just how many tears is he capable of shedding. Just as his brother said that he could cry, more tears rolled down. Soaking his brother's robes. He was practically sobbing. Something he had never done before. He used to cry silently, in the Jingshi, where no one could see him. But, Lan Zhan decides, this is hundred times better than crying alone. He likes being cared of, receiving affection, getting hugs and comforting strokes on his back.
"A-Xian will be back soon." Xiongzhang says after his sobs died down, after his tears dried. They were still hugging each other. Or, Lan Zhan clutching his brother while his brother rubs soothing circles on his back. "He promised after all. It's been a week already. We'll have to wait a little more." Lan Zhan humms as a response. "I know you miss A-Xian. I miss him too."
Miss? Is this what he was feeling? What a small word for an emotion so strong. It feels ridiculous at best. All the sadness, all the loneliness, all the emptiness can be summarized in just one small word? Miss? Lan Zhan is not good at understating his emotions. He can't acknowledge most of what he was feeling, let alone name them.
Maybe what Xiongzhang said was correct. He missed Wei Ying, earnestly.
*
Next day Xiongzhang takes Lan Zhan to Caiyi town as he was prohibited from stepping outside Cloud recesses by himself. His brother said he'll feel better if he takes a walk outside. Fuqin had agreed but Shufu feared that he might make his run with any given chance. It was ridiculous of him to think. Lan Zhan has been nothing but obedient these past eight days. Then again, Where will Lan Zhan run off to? He didn't know where Wei Ying was going. Shufu had no reason to doubt him.
Caiyi town was bustling as ever. Ruckus of people, animals and carriages. Lan Zhan doesn't like the crowds or the noise. He doesn't come to town unless necessary. Unless Wei Ying was inviting him. Most of the time he was distracted by Wei Ying's non-stop babbling that he didn't pay attention to what the vendor seller's were shouting about. He misses Wei Ying even here. His hands feel empty, they'd hold each other's hand when walking around the town.
"What if we lose each other in the crowd." Wei Ying had said. If they lose each other they'll meet again at home. It was a simple solution. But Lan Zhan liked Holding hands, so he didn't reveal any solutions. He tries to hold his brother's hand. His brother, always kind, lets him intertwine their fingers. It didn't feel the same as holding Wei Ying's hand or intertwining his fingers with his. It just didn't feel quite right. He can say he liked holding his brother's hand. He is sure he doesn't dislike it. At the same time it's not the kind of like he feels with Wei Ying.
Their hands are mismatched. Lan Zhan glanced at their intertwined hands. Xiongzhang's hand is way bigger than Wei Wuxian's. His hands are rougher with more cuts at the tips of his finger, due to years of guqin practice. While Wei Wuxian's hands are tiny and soft. Lan Zhan believes his hands are soft too. Whoever, they are getting rough due to training, he was practicing guqin too. Will his hands feel uncomfortable to Wei Ying then? Will Lan Zhan find Wei Ying's hand uncomfortable when his hands get rough as well?
That Lan Zhan will find out when time comes.
The smell of melon buns stirs Lan Zhan from his thoughts. There, at the far end of the round, was a bakery shop. Him and Wei Ying come here sometimes. "A-Zhan, do you want to go to that bakery?" his brother asks.
"Melon buns are Wei Ying's favorite." He replies.
"Then, let's go buy some."
*
Lan Zhan goes to his classes alone now. It feels unfitting. All these years Wei Ying came along with him, sat beside him or behind him. Without Wei Ying, the classes feel long. As if the lectures had been going on and on, without ever planning to stop. It's even more silent without him. No one dares to ask questions, fearing they might embarrass themselves. Some of the questions asked are easily explained. If the explanation wasn't of the disciples' understanding, no one dared saying it. Even in the second Night hunt, there was barely anything new to be learned. The teacher told them what to do and which spells to use.
It's more annoying when Su Minshan acts as a replacement for Wei Ying. He tries to ask critical questions like him, but shames himself at the end. He jumps around the hunt, going against teacher's instructions, ending up with a swollen ankle. He even tries to joke around like Wei Ying. None of his jokes are funny and some of those are offensive. Some of his friends try to laugh at his unfunny jokes but they sound more fake than Su Minshan's confidence. Lan Zhan calls him out whenever he makes an offensive joke that even his friends can't help but wince. As a good Lan disciple he should accept that he was wrong and promise not to make the same mistake again. Then again, Su Minshan was not a good Lan disciple. He gets angry at Lan Zhan for pointing out his bad jokes. "You stay quiet when that Wei Wuxian jokes like this."
"Wei Ying doesn't make offensive jokes."
"Taking sides, Lan Wangji? I thought partiality was forbidden."
He was not being partial. He was not breaking any rules. However, he might. He has had enough of Su Minshan trying to take Wei Ying's place. Lan Zhan will have to put him back to his place. Remind him that he can never be Wei Ying's equal. If that means using his fists he will.
"You have broken rules, take your punishment." He says instead of punching him. He can't let his frustration get the best of him. If he does, he'll be punished and Wei Ying will know about it. He might as well hate Lan Zhan for doing so.
"And you haven't? Aren't you defending Wei Ying? he sneers. Another rule broken. And- How dare he call Wei Ying by his personal name. Only Lan Zhan calls Wei Ying by his given name. Because they are friends and they respect each other. And Su Minshan was clearly insulting Wei Ying.
"Don't speak of Wei Ying that way. Call him by his courtesy name." He steps forward, reminding himself not to punch the other.
"You call him Wei Ying. Why can't I? Lan Zhan?"
Lan Zhan has never felt so angry ever before. He feels his heart pound and body temperature grow. He was sure his face was looking the same as Shufu when he got angry. Without realizing he grabbed Su Minshan's by the collar. He was sure he had broken more than three rules by now.
"You two! what are you doing!" The teacher pulls them apart. "I turn my back for a while and you start a fight among yourselves." He groans and asks other disciples what had occurred for them to fight.
In the end both him and Su Minshan were punished with copying rules. Though Lan Zhan wished he could make a complaint how he insulted Wei Ying and him.
*
The twelfth day was, unfortunately, the day when Lan Zhan visited the gentian house with Wei Ying. Since the first time Wei Ying found out about the gentian house, they promised to visit and spend time there, together, for as long as their elders let them. Sometimes Xiongzhang joined them and stayed as long as his duties let him. Sometimes Fuqin joins them for a brief talk. Back then it felt warm. It felt like Lan Zhan was given his favorite food and he was too full to eat. But now, his favorite food was cold and he had lost his appetite. Xiongzhang said he'll join as soon as possible. For now, Lan Zhan is alone in the house. Alone with Muqin.
"Muqin, Wei Ying is not home." He says to the empty room.
There was a name plate for Muqin on top of the small cabinet. It was Wei Ying's idea to have a name plate here. He was the one who first pretended that the name plate could hear them. Pretend that Muqin was actually there with them. Lighting up an incense stick and putting it in the censer, he tells his mother about Wei Ying's absence. How awful it feels to spend his days without him. He felt it was unfair. The person he wants to be with was alive, unlike his mother. He was there somewhere in the world and Lan Zhan couldn't be with him. How can anyone say it is fair? Does Wei Ying not miss him? Does he not feel lonely? Well, he has Wuming with him. He is always with Wei Wuxian. That is also not fair. How come he gets to be with Wei Ying all the time, from waking up to going to bed, they even sleep together everyday. Wuming gets what Lan Zhan wishes he could have. With Wuming, maybe Wei Ying doesn't even miss Lan Zhan.
Lan Zhan had thought about writing him a letter. But alas, Lan Zhan knew nothing of Wei Ying's address. They'll be traveling, so there was no permanent address. He could send a messenger butterfly. It'll find the receiver no matter where they were. The problem was, Lan Zhan didn't know what to write. There is a certain amount of words that he can fit in in a messenger butterfly. And he can't mess up for it is a one time use, and it uses up spiritual energy. He had tried to draft out a letter, and failed to put up what he wanted to express. After several failed attempts he gave up. He'll tell them when Wei Ying comes back, if he can, that is.
He hears a knock from the gates. He expected his brother but was greeted by his father. He sits beside Lan Zhan and lights up another incense for Muqin, Praying. Even though Fuqin always has a smile on his face like Xiongzhang, he looked sad. He looks even more sad when he comes to the gentian house. Fuqin doesn't talk to Lan Zhan as much as he does with Wei Ying. That's because Lan Zhan doesn't continuously ask him questions like Wei Ying does. He prefers it this way. It feels weird to speak with him. Silently Fuqin brews tea and pours Lan Zhan a cup. It's unethical. The youngers, the children should brew tea and pour it to their elders and parents. But Lan Zhan likes it when Fuqin does something for him. As Lan Zhan sips his tea Fuqin plays a song on his guqin. Lan Zhan doesn't know the name of this song. He has heard this before several times. Wei Ying had asked him about the song. Back then Fuqin didn't answer his questions, he only told them to listen and enjoy.
"Cloud recesses is not the same without Wuxian, isn't it A-Zhan" His father says in a low tone, almost inaudible.
"Mn." he replies.
Lan Zhan shifted to practicing his calligraphy along with listening to his father's music. Because it's awkward with just him and his father.
"Join me for dinner tonight, with your brother." His father said, getting ready to leave. "I'll call your Shufu too."
*
A family dinner, with just his family members. All this time Fuqin called them for dinner, Wei Ying was always there. All this time, Wei Ying felt like a part of his family. What kind of family? Lan Zhan can't exactly tell. A family like his brother? No. Lan Zhan didn't see him as his brother. He has Xiongzhang and that was enough. He very much wants Wei Ying as his best friend.So then? Lan Yunshi once said Meng Qi was like his, best friend, a part of his family. But he never saw Lan Yunshi treat Meng Qi like the family Lan Zhan wants to treat Wei Ying as. Lan Yunshi jabbed Meng Qi with his elbow, punched him on the shoulder, refused to share his favorite food with him, pushes him in a puddle of mud and so on. Lan Zhan is very sure that's not the type of family he regards Wei Ying as. He doesn't have an answer to his questions and he is too shy to ask someone. What if they think Lan Zhan is actually a fool, which he is not. He just can't figure out this puzzle that's in his head.
He'll find an answer eventually.
"Do not sigh during meal." says Shufu. He has finished his meal and waiting for others. Lan Zhan is a little slow when it comes to eating. He can't swallow without chewing finely. He would have finished faster if Fuqin was not placing more rice and side dishes on his bowl. He can't even say anything or it'll bust him out that he was not following this rule behind his elders back. He also misses Wei Ying very much. Most of the time everyone's attention was directed towards Wei Ying and his disciplinary. Shufu scolded him whenever he talked or put his vegetables in Lan Zhan's bowl. Bitter gourds were his most hated, he was lucky not to attend dinner today.
"Wangji, you are sighing again." Shufu says again. "You've been sighing like your lover died."
Xiongzhang snickered and Fuqin coughed. "Was that a joke Qiren? It was not funny." His father looked tid bit angry even though he was smiling.
"Not a joke, example."
"Why not use a better example. Like, you are sighing like you miss your friend."
"How is that an example, that's exactly the case."
Fuqin sighed and sipped his tea. Vervain tea, Fuqin said it was specially for him. Though Lan Zhan doesn't know what was so special about it, it tasted nice altogether.
"Cloud recesses is quiet peaceful without Wei Wuxian." Shufu said after a beat of silence.
What peace?
Lan Zhan doesn't feel at peace, not at all. Was Shufu at peace? While it is true that Wei Ying was always breaking rules, getting on Shufu's nerves. Shufu never disclosed that Wei Ying was a breach of peace. For all Lan Zhan could say Wei Ying made Cloud recesses lively. And with Wei Ying gone the liveliness wore out from everyone's face.
"Not sure about peaceful, but it sure is quiet." said Fuqin.
*
Thirteenth day, and Lan Zhan can't wait for the day to end. Next day Wei Ying will be back. He thinks about how he'll welcome Wei Ying. He should gather everyone to welcome him at the entrance gate. They should hug him like they had during his departure. That'll mean he'll have to go to everyone and ask them. Which is not Lan Zhan's forte. It's awkward, it's embarrassing in a way. He'll welcome him all by himself. It's a good idea. That way he can have Wei Ying all by himself. Maybe he can shower him with flowers like Wei Ying does occasionally. For that he'll have to go to the female's dormitory garden. There aren't enough flowers anywhere near him, gentians are out of season. And it's not like clan members are prohibited to go to the female's dormitory.
When he stepped on the premises of female disciples' dormitories all the female disciples near him looked at him weirdly. Lan Zhan has never been here before. But sure, he has many cousins around here. He knows Lan Yunshi's sister knows him, even if he doesn't know her. If she sees him, she'll help him collect flowers, hopefully.
"That's the second jade? so cute." A female disciple cooed.
"Lan-er gongzi" another disciple calls for his attention. "How may we help you?"
It would have been better if Lan Zhan had come here secretly. He has called for enough unwanted attention that all the disciples were surrounding him. He feels uncomfortable. Scared even, Iike a prey surrounded by predators. He never thought he'd be scared in his own home. Disciples were 'coo'ing and 'aww'ing. Making high pitched sounds of adoration and laughter. It's so much different from the male disciples' premises.
"This is the second jade of Lan, Xian-shidi speaks of?"
"I can understand him now."
"Truly worthy of all those flowery words."
He hears the girls talk among themselves. Apparently, Wei Ying had talked about him to them. Flowery words even. It's embrasses him, but not in an awkward , uncomfortable way.
"Flowers." He mumbled to the disciple that approached him earlier.
"Hm?Flowers? You want to see the flowers? I'm sorry I don't understand."
The cooing grows even more loud and Lan Zhan isn't sure if he wants to stay here any longer.
"I get it Shijie!" one disciple with twin buns exclaims. "Xian-shidi gives him flowers. Maybe he wants more flowers." And that gives them more reasons to squeal.Aren't they breaking rules. Maybe he should run away. He's already feeling fidgety like the baby bunnies when they don't want to be petted.
"Is that so, You want flowers? Plucking flowers isn't allowed. But if you give me a good reason I can let you."
A good reason. Is welcoming Wei Ying with flowers a good reason. Should he say Something elaborate to win their hearts. He can barely think of a word. This was a bad idea. He should just go.
"I…" he says, eyes fixated on the ground. "I'll be going." He bows and marches away, ignoring the disciples squeals and calls.
Flowers are out of the list now. Maybe he'll make something for Wei Ying. Something delicious to eat. Wei Ying likes red bean paste buns. He'll make them, he's sure he can. How hard can that be. He knows the recipe from the recipe book he found in the library. And it's not like Lan Zhan was banned from entering the kitchen. It was only Xiongzhang and Wei Ying who messed up.
"I'm sorry Lan-er gongzi," The old cook lady says with an apologetic smile. "Red beans are out of stock."
Was fate punishing him for not being good?
Mother, what shall I do now. He cries to himself.
"Ahh, but I can make you some chive pies if you want. Or wonton soup with mushrooms and tofu. how is that?"
The food she suggested sounds hard to make. He tells her he wants something that'll last long for a day or two. Or something that can be prepared and made when Wei Ying arrives. It's good that there aren't many cooks or servants. He can speak properly with fewer people around. Better when the person is patient with him.
"You want to make something for Wei Gongzi,?" she exclaimed and laughed. Embarrassed, he nods.
After looking around the cabinets she tells him that they can make Spicy tofu rice. Since Wei Ying likes spicy food and Lan Zhan can eat the tofu without the chili paste. Luckily they had tofu preserved underground, enough chili and spice to make chili paste.
She lets him paste the red chili. It burned his hands and Lan Zhan almost cried because of the spicy scent. She teaches him how to slice scallions and cilantro, and how to mince garlic. She taught him which spice is which. She even let him slice the tofu. Lan Zhan decided, slicing tofu was way, way more fun than slicing ghouls.
She packs up the tofu and chili paste. buries the sliced tofu underground, for if it goes stale. It'll be preserved in the cooling ground, there is a cooling array with enough spiritual energy.
"Rice can be made when Wei Gongzi arrives." she says, washing up the mess he had made. He has spent all his evening in the kitchen. It was a time well spent. At least better than what he was doing for the last few days.
News spread to his family that he was making food for Wei Ying. Fuqin and Shufu said nothing about it. Fuqin gave him an understanding smile. Though Xiongzhang faux cried for not getting the same treatment.
*
Fourteenth day, The day Wei Ying was supposed to return. Lan Zhan waits at the gates at any chance he gets.
As soon as class ended, he waited before the gates. Wei Ying doesn't arrive.
As soon as training ended, he waited before the gates. Wei Ying doesn't arrive.
As soon as lunch was done, he waited before the gates. Wei Ying doesn't arrive.
As sun lowered itself in the sky, and everything went dark he still waited before the gates.
"Lan-er Gongzi," one of the guarding disciples laughs, a disturbed one. Was he disturbing them by kneeling near the gates?
"It's getting late, you should head back to your house."
But what if Wei Ying comes just after that. Then, Lan Zhan will not be the first one to welcome him. He doesn't listen to the disciples and continues kneeling there. The passing disciples give him weird looks. Some smiles in a sad way, some frowns and some tells him to go back. He ignores all of them.
"Wangji," called Shufu. Lan Zhan flinched at his call. He has done it. Shufu was disappointed, angry. "It's past seven, Wei Wuxian won't be coming." He marches forward and takes Lan Zhan by his wrist. If he hadn't done that, Lan Zhan would have stayed put where he was. He drags Lan Zhan to Fuqin's house, brust in without knocking and makes him kneel in front of Fuqin's work table. "Your son has been kneeling in front of the gates for the whole day. Why didn't you stop him. What do you think others will think of this. They'll assume I'm punishing him publicly." Shufu huffs.
"He was not disturbing anyone, Qiren." Fuqin says to Shufu. Then tuning to him, "Wangji, I know Wuxian promised to return in two weeks. But two weeks does not mean exactly fourteen day." He puts his brush down, ushers Shufu to sit down and have some tea to calm himself. "There are many obstacles during a journey that can prolong his return. Does it mean our lives will halt due to their late arrival?" he gives Lan Zhan a cup of tea and continues. "Life will go on, Wangji. We can not kneel in a corner for the rest of our lives just because we miss someone." His smile weavers as he sips tea from his own cup. "I'm sure Wuxian will come back. It's better late than never."
Lan Zhan stares at his own tea cup. The greenish reflection of him ripples as his hands shake in the thought of Wei Ying never returning. At first he was a little mad that Wei Ying didn't come that day. Now his father had reminded him of his old fear of losing someone forever. Are they lying to him, like they did when Muqin died? Are they hiding the fact that Wei Ying was never coming back? Was that the last time he'll ever see Wei Ying? In the end he could not drink his tea. He ran off to his quarters, to Jingshi, to hide his tears, to cry alone.
He was crying a lot these days. It was pathetic of him.
Xiongzhang comes with dinner when Lan Zhan doesn't go to the dining hall. He comforted Lan Zhan again, saying that Wei Ying will surely come back. Then they can all sit together for dinner and enjoy the food that Lan Zhan made. He forced him to take a bath and go to sleep. Lan Zhan didn't finish his homework. He didn't want to either.
*
Fifteenth day passed slowly. Slower than ever. Maybe it was time for the longest day. He didn't have the energy to check. Breakfast, class, training, even minor duties took great effort to fulfill. Even walking was tiring to him. Should he go to the physician to check up.
Instead of going to the infirmary he goes to the dormitories, to Wei Ying's room. That boy hadn't locked his door. What if someone came in and stole something. There aren't any thieves among the disciples but there was Su Minshan, so you never know.
Lan Zhan saw a big pile of mess in the room. If he didn't know Wei Ying he'd assume there was robbery. The mess was organized in Wei Ying's unique way. The notes on his study table are scattered, his tool box missing a few tools, his top book shelf half empty. There were no brushes or charcoal sticks. He had taken them with him.
His cloth chest opened wide. With no spare robe of his, except his sleeping shirts and pants. Had he taken all his robes for the journey. He'll not have a clean set to wear when he comes back. Despite their robes having dirt repelling spell weaved into them, Wei Ying manages to get them dirty. Lan Zhan decides to sneak in one of his robes for him to wear. He likes sharing clothes with him. Even though it's hard to tell the difference between who is wearing who's clothes. He knows Wei Ying was wearing his robes, and that was enough.
Surprisingly, Lan Zhan had the energy to clean the mess Wei Ying had created. He had the energy to put the notes in order, dust the furniture, and fix the beddings. Late afternoon, orange sun rays filters through the window. He lies down on Wei Ying's bed. It's oddly calming. As if Wei Ying was there, with him.
"Wei Ying," he mumbles to himself, "Come home." He drifts into slumber. A deep sleep, something he hadn't had for a few days now.
*
Sixteenth day, Lan Zhan plans to spend the rest of his free time in Wei Ying's room. He feels slightly better after yesterday's sleep. For now he's stuck in his guqin class, making a mess of clarity. His instructor is getting impatient. Lan Zhan can't help but wince every time he strungs a false note. Su Minshan snorts behind him. Enjoying Lan Zhan's miserable state. He hears a commotion outside. It should be alarming to his teacher. Cloud recesses is mostly quiet, unless attacked, there should be no shouting. Then again, if there was an attack the gong should be alarming everyone to hide or get ready to fight back. His instructor tells them to keep practicing and goes to see the commotion for himself. He returns with a repressed smile. Some good news has arrived, that Lan Zhan could tell.
"Focus, keep practicing." He says to the class. From a distance Lan Zhan hears a disciple shout, "Wei Wuxian has arrived."
Oh,
Wei Ying was back. That was good. That was nice. He has come back, everyone has seen him, everyone was happy. He feels himself squirm, his legs feel unsteady. He can't contain himself in one place. He stares at his teacher's face, long forgotten notes of clarity. His teacher was still biting back his smile. Trying his best to look angry, "Wangji, focus. You can go as soon as you finish playing." he huffs.
As told, Lan Zhan does his best to play the notes. He believes he did an okay enough work for the teacher to let him go early. He ignores Su Minshan's groans and whatever he mumbled. None cares about him. Wei Ying was back what else could matter. He runs to the main compounds, where disciples inform him that Wei Ying will join them for lunch soon.
"A-Zhan, do you want to wait with us in the dining hall." His brother asks. The gleam in his eyes says Lan Zhan should go see Wei Ying right then.
As desired by his heart, Lan Zhan goes to Wei Ying's room to greet him personally. Tell him how much he had missed him, how lonely he was. He finds himself alone in the room. He'd think that everyone was making fun of him by lying about Wei Ying. If not for the new mess Wei Ying had created. Scattered robes, all dirty with different kinds of stains. He feels relieved that there are no blood stains on any of them. He puts the robes in a corner and waits for Wei Ying to return. How long will he need to finish his bath? He kicks the air, back and forth. Counts the time with dread. What shall he say when he sees Wei Ying?
He'll welcome him first.
As soon as Wei Ying opens the door, Lan Zhan stands up saying, "Wei Ying, Welcome back home." He is not sure if his friend listened to him or if he remembers what else he wanted to say. All he could hear was Wei Ying's loud squeal and continuous, "Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan! Lan Zhan!"
He has missed this. He has missed all of Wei Ying.