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Humans! They’re so dense! Rolling my shoulders, I stretch my forepaws and drop on my silk cushion when the door shuts after Link. You see, my humans have the hots for each other. I think. Humans are odd, so I’m not entirely sure. Every morning, they both do the blush-and-quickening-pulse-thing when Links brings me to Zelda’s study. “Pets are not allowed at the training yard, Cupcake.” Pffff… Fine, I don’t want to get hit with those shiny sticks anyway and Zelda gives excellent head scratches. Sometimes, I’m allowed to sit in her lap on that smooth dress, too, so that’s nice. She never says I’m an ugly street-cat, either. Who needs two eyes? One is more than enough to see that Zelda is made for Link, but the two don’t get it!
I tried everything! I hopped from his arm so that they could stare into each other's eyes, but the dorks looked after me instead. I even flitted against Zelda’s legs so that she stumbled and Link had to catch her! Nothing. He got so flustered that we were in his room before she could thank him. Dense!
Absently, I flick my paw against the pompom of my cushion. Maybe I was too forward, maybe they need to do more boring human stuff before they kiss?
A rap on the door! "Your Highness." I don’t wait until Link bows his head. I push myself up and turn my face to him, unmoving.
"Come! Let's go home, Cupcake."
Hah! No. I jump from my cushion and circle the table with Zelda’s afternoon cake, making my tail rattle against every bar of the furniture. I stop in front of Zelda, my ears nearly falling off with how erected they are.
"I… think she wants cake?"
"Oh," Link says, laughing nervously. "I don't think so. Cats can't taste sweetness."
Sweet-what? I don’t care, I just want these dorks to kiss.
"What a shame! I love cake in all variations!"
"Me too! That's why I called her Cupcake."
There you go. They’re talking! I hop back onto my cushion, and let out a pointed meow.
"She wants cake." Zelda folds her hands.
"No…" Eyes widening, Link blushes and comes to grab me. Oh, no, he’s figured me out!
I hiss (I’ve never hissed at him before), and he mutters, "Wow, okay, Missy."
"See?" Zelda giggles. "She wants cake. I wonder why she’s never acted like this before? I always have cake in the afternoon. Please sit down, Link, I should have invited you two sooner."
Link sends me a we'll-talk-about-this-glare, but I don’t care because he takes the offered seat.
Haha, the taste of victory! But what’s that? It’s awful! Spongy and slimy! How can they both love that!?! Humans.
Zelda pours tea on his saucer and Link nearly knocks the flowers over because they keep staring at each other. Splendid! I curl up and nuzzle my nose into the fur of my tail - I bet they’re kissing when I wake up again!