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Mike leaned against the window, the air stifling hot and uncomfortably heavy with the smell of weed. Up front in the driver’s seat, Jonathan hit himself lightly on the cheek to keep himself awake. They had been driving for hours now, and Mike was desperate to get out of the van and stretch his legs, get some fresh air. Plus, if Jonathan didn’t get a break soon, Mike was fairly sure he’d fall asleep at the wheel. Argyle could probably take over if he needed to, but Mike wasn’t so sure if he trusted the stoner to get them to their destination safely. He glanced to his right, peering at the brunette sitting beside him. Will looked just as uncomfortable as Mike felt.
``Holy shit, dude,`` Argyle said, causing everyone’s attention to turn towards him. Mike shifted his gaze from the window, glancing at the long-haired male sitting up front. ``Check it out!`` Argyle was gazing out the window with wide, red eyes, and Mike peered across Will to look outside as well. All Mike could see was the seemingly infinite expanse of desert, but then a billboard caught his eye. It read, Surfer Boy Pizza. Last pizza before Vegas!!!
Mike gave a disappointed sigh and leaned back in his seat; nothing of importance. ``I didn’t know they expanded into Nevada,`` Argyle continued, a dopey grin spreading across his face. He glanced towards Jonathan, laughing a little. ``Watch out, Domino’s. Your dominoes are gonna fall .`` How is this idiot still high? Mike thought to himself, rolling his eyes.
``How far is Nina from Vegas?`` Will asked, drawing Mike’s attention. He lifted his head, realizing the question was directed at him. Of course it was; he was the one with the map. The raven-haired boy glanced down at the map in his hands, unrolling it slightly. His eyes searched the paper for a couple seconds until he found what he was looking for.
``Um, as long as Suzie’s coordinates are right, about another… 90 miles. Why?`` Mike replied. Suzie was their friend Dustin’s girlfriend; for a while, they hadn’t even believed she existed. But recently, they had met her in person, and Dustin was right; she was a genius. They had gone to her while trying to find something, or some one as Argyle believed, called Nina, and Suzie had provided coordinates for them to go to. That’s where they would find Mike’s girlfriend, El.
``Well, once we save her, El, we should stop on the way back,`` Will replied. Mike lifted his head to gaze at his friend, and Will stared straight ahead, not meeting Mike’s gaze. ``El could make us, like, super rich, and we’d never have to work.`` A small smile played across Mike’s lips at the thought of that; he’d never liked working, and Will knew that. ``We could just play D&D and Nintendo for the rest of our lives.``
Will’s lips curved into a small smile as he talked and he finally turned to meet Mike’s gaze, causing Mike’s heart to flutter a bit. If it was anyone else, Mike would have said that was a childish wish. But something about the thought of just being able to lounge around and play games with Will for the rest of his life made Mike unbelievably happy.
``Yeah, totally,`` Mike responded, trying to not look too enthusiastic at the prospect, however much the idea excited him. He shared a smile with Will, his gaze traveling over the other boy’s features. Will had changed a lot since the last time they’d seen each other, both physically and mentally. They had both changed. It had surprised Mike considerably the first time he heard Will talk to him after months of separation; his voice had dropped, like, an octave, and he sounded like a grown man. Not that Mike minded the change.
Mike had changed considerably too, having come to a very big realization about himself. It started with dreams; oftentimes, Mike’s mind would wander to Will during the nighttime. Then, daydreams. He couldn’t help but think of Will, no matter what he was doing. A couple months back, he had been cleaning up the basement, and he came across a binder full of Will’s drawings. He’d spent hours just flipping through it, heart aching as he thought about his best friend. But nothing could have prepared Mike to see Will again in person. After coming to California, it was like Mike was going absolutely insane. He couldn’t tear his eyes off of Will, no matter what they were doing together. Even on the one day he was supposed to be spending time with his girlfriend at the roller rink, he was much more focused on Will than he should’ve been. That’s when Mike came to terms that he might be in love with his best friend.
They’d known each other since they were 4 years old, and Mike had grown up with Will by his side. They did absolutely everything together. Mike realized, looking back on it, that he’d always felt this way towards Will. But since he’d grown up with those feelings, he had a hard time separating romantic from platonic. The year-long separation finally gave Mike time to realize just how he felt towards the other boy.
Mike was scared of his feelings. Terrified, in fact. He’d done his best to separate himself from Will since they’d reunited, in hopes that his feelings would go away. He instead latched onto El, using her as a distraction and a beard more than anything else. It made him feel guilty that he was using the girl to hide from his feelings, but at the same time he knew he had to. Society just didn’t accept people like him, and he wasn’t sure if it ever was going to. Mike knew he had to come to terms with the fact that one day, he was going to have to marry a woman and settle down, have a family. He couldn’t chase these feelings that could never realistically result in a relationship. What scared him the most, though, was that he thought El might be starting to catch on.
``We’re gonna make it, Mike, she’s gonna be okay,`` Will said, dragging Mike back to the present. Will offered Mike a smile, which he tried to return, but it faltered and he sighed. Mike stared down at the rolled up map in his hands, nodding at Will’s words. The longer he was around Will without El to distract him, the worse and more intense his feelings got. He felt like an overflowing glass, precariously balanced on the edge of a table, that could topple over and spill at any moment.
``Yeah, I know. I… I know she is,`` Mike replied, shooting a small glance towards the brunette and then turning away again to stare at the seat in front of him. He couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. ``But- but what if after all this is over, she…`` He hesitated, turning towards the window for a couple seconds to hide his panic and think of some way to salvage the words he’d just accidentally let slip. There was no way Mike could explain to his best friend/crush that he was afraid El was catching onto the fact that he didn’t love her, and he was only using her to hide from how he felt. He settled for a half-truth. ``sh.. she doesn’t need me anymore?``
Mike finally looked over towards Will, who turned away just as Mike glanced over. ``No, of course she’ll still need you,`` Will answered, which did little to soothe Mike’s fears. ``She’ll always need you, Mike.``
``I keep telling myself that, but I…`` Mike sighed softly, looking at Will. ``I don’t believe it.`` This time, their eyes met for a split second before the raven-haired boy turned away again. ``I mean, she’s special.`` Will nodded as Mike spoke. ``She was born special. Maybe I was one of the first people to realize that. But the truth is,`` Mike sighed, stammering a bit and shaking his head. ``when- when I stumbled on her in the woods, she just needed someone.`` He tensed up a bit at the thought of El leaving him. ``It’s not fate. It’s.. it’s not destiny. It’s just simple dumb luck.`` Mike was vaguely aware that he was word-vomiting. He felt guilty for dropping all this onto Will, but he couldn’t stop the words from spilling out of his mouth. ``And one day, she’s gonna realize that.. I’m just some random nerd who got lucky that Superman landed on his doorstep.``
Mike sighed, glancing towards Will again, who was listening intently. That was just one of the many things Mike loved about Will; he was a great listener. ``She’s already beginning to understand she doesn’t need me. I saw it- I saw it in her eyes, that last time we talked.`` He bit the inside of his cheek, continuing his Superman analogy. ``I mean, at least Lois Lane is an ace reporter for the Daily Planet, right? But…`` He gazed once more towards Will, who looked deep in thought.
Mike scoffed at himself, angry for dumping all of this onto poor Will, who was probably extremely worried about his sister. After they had moved to California, El had written to Mike about her growing relationship with Will. After all, they were siblings now, and it was only natural that they were bonding. It almost made Mike jealous; El’s relationship with Will was growing stronger, while his own relationship with both of them was crumbling. It was unfair of him to just dump all his stupid problems on Will like that, and so he shook it off. ``Sorry.`` He apologized, pursing his lips.
``No,`` Will replied softly, rejecting the apology. He was probably about to say something like, ‘it’s okay! You can talk to me about anything.’ Will was just too… good of a person, it almost annoyed Mike how nice he was.
``No, i-it’s so stupid , given everything that’s going on,`` Mike interrupted Will, putting emphasis on the word stupid. ``It’s just.. I… I don’t know, I just…`` his voice trailed off, words failing him. It was always like this when he was around Will, now. Mike probably looked like an idiot, stumbling over his words like that.
``You’re scared of losing her,`` Will offered helpfully, hitting the nail right on the head. Mike was scared of losing El. Not because he loved her; of course, he did love her, but more as a friend than anything else. But he was scared of losing her in a different way; he was scared of losing his relationship with her, because he was afraid his facade would finally break and that people would finally see how he truly felt.
Mike looked up, meeting Will’s understanding gaze, and nodded a bit. Their bond, however much it was crumbling on the surface at the moment, was still strong at the roots. They always knew how the other was feeling, and could help each other figure out stuff. They were always great at doing that for each other. Mike cherished his relationship with Will more than anything else, and was so grateful for Will’s presence in his life. At the same time, he was afraid. They knew each other better than anyone else which, as irrational as it may seem, made Mike afraid that maybe Will already knew how Mike felt about him.
``Can I… show you something?`` Will asked apprehensively. Mike raised his eyebrows, emotions surging through him. First curiosity, then excitement, and then nervousness. He studied Will’s expression for a second, trying to determine if what he wanted to show Mike was something good, or something bad. He really hoped it wasn’t something bad. He gave a small nod of his head, and Will turned to grab something off the floor.
The brunette pulled out a brown roll of paper, tied in the middle by a small string to hold the whole thing together. Mike stared at it, and it clicked in his head after a moment. It was the painting Will had been working on. Why did he want to show it to Mike?
Will took a deep breath, gripping onto the roll before hesitantly handing it over to Mike, who glanced nervously at the brunette before taking it. Anxiety coursed through the black-haired boy’s body, and he gazed down at the painting in his hands, knowing he’d have to open it eventually. He couldn’t stare at it forever, plus Will was likely assuming he would open it up right away. Mike was just… nervous, he supposed. In El’s most recent letter to him, she had talked about a painting Will had been working on, and El was speculating about it, saying she thought it might be for a girl he liked. This had to be the same painting. He put the map aside and slowly untied the string, sliding off the brown paper.
He unrolled the painting slowly, eyebrows raising as he took it all in. He couldn’t stop the smile that slid onto his face. The painting turned out to be a depiction of the party, dressed in the garbs of their D&D characters. They were fighting a red three-headed-dragon, and Mike was in the very front, staving off the beast with his blade. As Mike’s eyes traveled the page, he gave a small laugh. It really was a gorgeous piece of artwork. His heart soared, and he grinned over at the brunette, who was watching nervously.
``This is amazing,`` Mike said, feeling himself getting emotional. He watched Will’s face light up at the praise, and the boys shared a smile. ``Did you paint this?`` Mike asked, glancing back towards the painting for a second. He knew Will made it, of course, but he wanted to hear the words come out of his mouth. He longed to hear, ‘Yeah, Mike. I made this for you.’ But that’s not the answer he got.
``Yeah,`` Will said enthusiastically, shaking his head a bit. ``Yeah, I mean… I mean, El asked me to.`` Oh . Mike’s heart sank a bit at the mention of his girlfriend. ``She commissioned it, basically. I mean, she told me what to draw.`` Mike’s mind worked for a second, gears turning, and then he frowned a bit as he realized something. Will’s words didn’t line up, and confusion flooded the raven-haired boy’s brain.
He thought back to the letter El had written; hadn’t she said Will wouldn’t show her the painting? She couldn’t have commissioned it then, right? His eyes slid across the painting once more. El wasn’t even in it. Why would she commission a painting for Mike that she wasn’t even included in? And lastly, El didn’t know a single thing about D&D. This Mike knew for certain; she had protested against every attempt he’d made to introduce her to the game. So why was Will lying? He turned to Will and was about to confront him, but Will was still rambling on, and he didn’t want to interrupt.
``Anyway, my point is,`` Will continued, leaning over Mike to point at the painting. His finger pointed at Mike, the head of the party. ``See how you’re leading us here? You’re guiding the whole party, inspiring us. That’s… that’s what you do.`` Mike gazed at the painting, listening to Will’s explanation. Something inside Mike soared as Will said that he was inspiring. ``And see your coat of arms here? It’s a heart.`` Will leaned away from Mike again, glancing away as he continued to talk. Mike gazed at the brunette, listening curiously, all thoughts of Will’s lies forgotten. ``And I know it’s… sort of on the nose, but that’s what holds this whole party together. Heart.``
Will looked back at Mike, and their eyes met. Mike bit back a smile, staring at Will for a couple seconds. ``Because, I mean, without heart, we’d all fall apart.`` Was Will saying that without Mike, the party would fall apart? ``Even El. Especially El.``
The mention of El again made Mike’s smile fade, but he tried to hide it. He gazed away from Will, glancing back at the painting. ``These past few months, she’s been so lost without you. It’s just, she’s so different from other people, and… It’s really scary to be different.`` Mike stared at Will, who was now turning away to stare out the van window. ``when you’re… when you’re different, sometimes…`` Will sighed, ``you feel like a mistake.``
Mike’s heart ached at those words. He hated how much he related to them. By now, he’d caught on that Will wasn’t just talking about El. In fact, it would surprise him if Will had even been talking about El in the first place. It hurt Mike beyond words that Will felt he needed to hide behind El’s name, instead of talking openly with Mike. Mike used to be the first person Will went to for help, in fact. When had that changed, and why ? And more importantly, why did Will feel like a mistake?
``But you make her feel like she’s not a mistake at all.`` Will turned back towards Mike, eyes watery. Their gazes met, and many emotions ran through Mike’s head at once, confusing him. I make Will feel like he’s not a mistake? ``Like she’s better for being different. And that gives her the courage to fight on. If she was… mean to you, or- or she seemed like she was pushing you away, it’s probably just because she’s scared of losing you, just like you’re scared of losing her.`` Mike stared at Will with parted lips, growing emotional. His chest was constricting at the pure pain in his friend’s voice, and though he wanted to reach out and hold Will’s hand, tell him everything was alright, he didn’t. He sat there, staring stupidly.``And if she was going to lose you, I… I think she’d rather just get it over with quick, like- like ripping off a Band-Aid. So yeah, El needs you Mike. And she always will.``
Mike stared at the other boy, fumbling for words. He wanted to say ‘I’ll always need you too, Will.’ But like always, his fear won over, and instead ``Yeah?`` clumsily spilled past his lips. He tried to give Will a reassuring smile to make up for his lack of comforting words, but it didn't seem to work.
Will nodded, clearly on the brink of tears. ``Yeah,`` he replied, forcing a smile on his face and then turned to face the window. Mike stared at the other boy, the quiet sobs that the brunette was letting out not lost on him. He longed to reach out, to comfort Will, but he had no idea what to say. He used to be amazing at comforting Will when they were younger, but clearly, just like everything else, that had changed too. Instead, Mike looked away, carefully rolling the painting back up and sighing.
``Man, I really gotta take a leak,`` Argyle said from up front. ``I’m also, like, super hungry. We should stop at a gas station or something, dude.`` he glanced at Jonathan, who nodded a bit. For once, Mike agreed with the stoner. He needed to stretch his legs and get some fresh air. Hopefully that would also let him sort through all the thoughts tangled up in his mind.
A couple minutes later, Jonathan parked the van in front of a gas station. The sun was starting to dip towards the horizon, and it would likely be dark out soon. Mike unbuckled his seat belt and opened the door, sighing as he stretched his legs. While Jonathan filled up the gas, Mike followed Argyle into the gas station.
``See you, brochacho.`` Argyle waved to Mike, heading immediately towards the bathrooms. Mike gave a small, confused wave back and then started wandering through the gas station, searching for the candy section. He found what he was looking for rather quickly, and grabbed a small bag of Reese's Pieces. They were Will’s favorite, and if Mike was too much of a coward to reach out and comfort his best friend, hopefully these would suffice to help cheer the boy up.
The black-haired boy glanced towards the door as it opened and the bell rang, his eyes landing on the broad-shouldered brunette who walked through the doorway; Will. His eyes were slightly red, but other than that, he’d done a surprisingly good job of covering up his crying. If someone just happened to glance over at him, they likely wouldn’t suspect anything.
Will started wandering, and Mike made a beeline to the bathroom. He passed Argyle on his way, who had just finished. ``Man, you really gotta go, huh?`` Argyle commented with a laugh, and Mike sighed in slight annoyance, pulling open the bathroom door and slipping inside. Finally, he could be alone with his thoughts for a few minutes.
After using the bathroom, he zipped up his pants, then turned the faucet on. Mike stared at his reflection as he ran his hands under the warm water, scrubbing them viciously with soap until they were raw and pink. It felt like he’d scrubbed off a layer of skin as well, but it felt good to get the grime off his hands. Not that it did much though; the rest of his body was filthy as well, and he couldn’t very well take a damn bath in the sink.
He wiped his hands off on a paper towel and then chucked it into the trash can, opening the door and strolling back out into the gas station. Jonathan was now inside as well, looking for snacks. Mike rushed to the counter, paid for the Reese’s Pieces , and left the gas station. The sky was a rosy pink shade, the sun finally starting to go down.
As he walked back to the van, Mike sighed. All the windows had been opened in hopes of airing out the stench of weed, and he didn’t like the prospect of returning to his stuffy and uncomfortable seat just yet. Instead, he settled for climbing up onto the roof of the van, sitting on the warm metal and staring off into the distance.
A couple minutes passed, and he felt the van shake beneath him; someone else was climbing up to the roof. He glanced over just as Will settled down beside him, legs dangling off the side of the parked vehicle.
``Hey, Will.`` Mike said softly, eyes traveling across the brunette’s pretty features. ``I got you something.`` He held out the Reese’s Pieces , offering Will a small smile. ``They're still your favorite, right?``
Will gazed at Mike for a moment, a smile lighting up his features as he gratefully took the packet of candy. ``Yeah, they’re still my favorite. Thanks, Mike.`` He tore a corner of the packaging, dumping a couple pieces of the candy into his hand. ``Here, hold out your hand.``
Mike obediently offered his hand to Will, palm up, and the boy dumped a couple candies into his hand. As he did so, Mike noticed a couple pen marks on his wrist. They looked like numbers. ``Thanks- hey, what’s that?``
``Huh?`` Will pulled his hand back, glancing down at his arm. Even in the dim lighting, Mike noticed the blush that spread over his friend’s face. It seemed like an embarrassed blush more than anything else. ``Oh, that uh.. girl at the counter gave me her number,`` he explained, shaking his head as if amused and he started trying to rub it off on his jeans. Jealousy coursed through Mike’s body, but he tried to joke about it anyways.
``Oh, really? El told me you’re a total chick magnet, back in California,`` he laughed a bit, knocking his knee against Will’s playfully. Will furrowed his brow, scoffing a bit, but a smile was playing across his lips. Mike ate the candy Will had given him, watching the brunette with a small grin.
``El’s a liar, then.`` Will replied with a small laugh, his voice light-hearted on the surface. But there was something else there, deeper down. Something that Mike wanted to uncover.
``So… you have a girlfriend yet?`` Mike asked, gazing away and staring into the distance. The sun was finally dipping below the horizon and a couple stars were now becoming visible, twinkling high in the sky above the two boys.
Will laughed a bit, shaking his head. ``No way,`` he responded, grinning.
``Why not? You could have literally anyone you wanted, I bet.`` Mike teased, wiggling his eyebrows playfully as he grinned at the other boy. ``I bet the girls are lining up in droves just to get a chance to speak with you!`` Will’s cheeks flushed pink again and he shook his head, laughing at Mike’s silly antics.
``Maybe, but I don’t really want any of them.`` Will replied, the playful tone fading and being replaced with a more serious one. Mike’s smile faded a bit, and he raised an eyebrow curiously.
``Why not?`` Mike asked, folding his hands in his lap and then silently cursing himself for asking that. It was Will’s private life, and he probably didn’t want to tell Mike about it.
``Uh…`` Will replied, biting his lip. He dumped some more Reese’s Pieces in his mouth for an excuse to not reply, staring off into the distance.
``Sorry. Forget I asked, that was a personal question. You shouldn’t have to answer it.`` Mike said quickly, shaking his head and getting ready to slide off the roof of the van. Jonathan and Argyle would probably be back soon, and they’d have to buckle back up. However, Will’s voice stopped him.
``Mike, you wouldn’t… you wouldn’t judge me for anything, right?`` the brunette asked apprehensively. Mike lifted his head, meeting Will’s gaze and shaking his head in response.
``No, no, of course not. You’re my best friend.`` Mike replied with a small smile, knocking his elbow lightly against Will’s in a reassuring manner. ``You can tell me anything, y'know.`` Will still looked slightly nervous, but less so than before.
``Then… uh, you have to promise you won’t tell anyone, and I mean anyone this. Okay?`` He said seriously, staring at Mike. Mike nodded, eyes widening slightly. He was starting to feel slightly nervous; what was it about Will’s love life that made it this serious and secretive?
``Of course, Will. Your secrets are safe with me, always.`` Mike answered, reaching out and putting a hand on Will’s shoulder.
``Okay. Um, I…`` Will heaved a sigh, staring down at his lap and kicking his legs nervously as they dangled off the side of the van. Mike watched the smaller boy intently, ready for anything that came out of his mouth. ``I like… boys. Romantically, I mean.`` Will eventualy said, voice dropping to a whisper even though no one else was around to hear.
``Oh.`` Mike pulled his hand off the brown-haired boy’s shoulder, eyes widening in surprise. Will lifted his head quickly, eyes flashing in fear.
``Sorry. Sorry, I- uh. I’m sorry. Are you weirded out? I’ll- I’ll just leave.`` Will stammered, grossly misinterpreting Mike’s reaction. Mike shook his head quickly, grabbing Will’s arm, which caused Will to flinch heavily. Does he think I’m going to hurt him? Will had never flinched like that with Mike before, he had always felt safe around the raven-haired boy. It pained Mike to think that Will expected him to- what? Slap him? Punch him?
``No, don’t go. I-`` Mike gulped, biting the inside of his cheek. Will hesitated, staring at Mike with fearful eyes. ``Sorry. I didn’t mean it to come off that way. I don’t- I don’t care that you like dudes.`` He quickly assured Will, fumbling over his words in an attempt to get Will to stay. ``You're my best friend, Will. Nothing can change that, I really- I really don't mind.``
``You don’t?`` Will replied, an uncertain tone to his voice. He didn’t seem like he believed what Mike was saying.
``No, no- I don’t mind. I promise.`` Mike replied, getting a bit more confident as he spoke. Will visibly relaxed, and Mike took a deep breath. ``And I won’t tell anyone else, either. That’s for you to tell people, and you only.`` Will gave him a grateful smile at this, and Mike smiled back, but he was struggling internally. Something was gnawing at his brain, and he felt like he wouldn’t feel normal again until he got it out of his system.
``I uh- I like guys too. Romantically.`` He blurted out after a couple seconds, then quickly looked around to make sure no one else heard; but nobody else was around, it was alright. He slowly looked back towards Will, whose eyes were wide with shock. He clearly hadn’t been expecting that twist of events. ``I think I like both, actually,`` Mike said, lowering his voice a bit, ``girls, and- and boys. I only figured it out recently, though. It’s… a lot to process.``
``You do? `` Will asked with wide eyes, shock and… something else new to his voice that Mike couldn’t quite place. Excitement? Hope? Mike nodded, smiling nervously at the other boy. He became aware his hand was still wrapped around Will’s wrist, and he glanced down at it, chewing on the inside of his cheek nervously. Half of him wanted to slide it down just a little further, and intertwine his fingers with Will’s… and the other half wanted to let go. He didn’t want to weird Will out, not after what they’d just confessed to each other, so he gave in to the second half of his brain, letting go of the boy’s wrist.
``We’ll figure it out together, alright Mike? I’ve known for a while, so if you have any questions… I’m here.`` Will said softly, offering him a smile. Mike returned it without hesitation.
``I, uh, actually do think I have a question.`` He said after a moment, grabbing Will’s attention once more. He scratched the back of his head, then folded his hands back in his lap. ``How did you figure it out? That you’re, y’know…``
``Oh.`` Will chewed his lip thoughtfully, then shrugged a bit. ``I guess I just realized… I never had any of those feelings towards girls. When a girl tries to flirt with me, I’m uncomfortable and awkward.`` He laughed a bit, shaking his head. ``Remember the Snowball Dance?``
``Yeah,`` Mike responded, smiling a bit at the memory.
``When that girl asked me to dance…`` Will shook his head a bit, looking like he was trying not to laugh. ``I was freaking out, mentally. I didn’t want to be rude, and say no, but I had no idea what to do.`` That made Mike laugh a bit, as well. ``But eventually, I just realized I didn’t have feelings towards girls the same way I had feelings towards…`` Will fell silent, and Mike looked over at him. He was blushing slightly. ``a boy I liked,`` he finished hesitantly, and Mike knew that wasn’t what he was originally going to say.
Every ounce of Mike’s being was screaming ‘ask him! Ask him who he liked!’ but Mike knew better than to pry, so despite how much he wanted to ask the question, he stayed silent as well. A couple seconds passed, and he opened his mouth to ask a different question instead.
``Is it… is it okay to not know…? Because, I mean, I know I like boys, but I’m still not sure about girls. I think I like them too, but I don’t know. It’s… confusing,`` He sighed, glancing downwards and then back at Will after a moment.
``Yeah, yeah.. It’s perfectly okay to not know.`` Will replied softly, looking grateful for the change of subject. He put his hand over Mike’s reassuringly, which sent shivers down the black-haired boy’s spine. However, Will jerked his hand away as they heard footsteps approaching from behind.
``Alright, kids, back in the van.`` Jonathan said, approaching the vehicle holding two plastic bags full of food and drinks for the ride. Argyle was trailing closely behind him. Will and Mike exchanged a look, and then they both quickly hopped off the roof of the van.
As he crawled back into the backseat, Mike was extremely grateful for the open windows. There was only a trace of the scent of weed left, whereas it was much more pungent earlier. Settling back into his seat and buckling up, a roll of paper caught his eye and his eyes widened; the painting. He’d completely forgotten to ask about it. He knew Will had been lying when he said El commissioned it, and was meaning to confront him, but he didn’t want to do so with Jonathan and Argyle in the van as well. He sighed, resigned to the fact that he’d missed his chance for now.
He sat back in his seat, yawning. It had been a while since he’d gotten sleep, and he was starting to get drowsy. It seemed Will was feeling the same way, because a second later he felt a head drop onto his shoulder. Mike turned his head slightly, gazing at Will. The brunette’s eyes were shut, but Mike knew he was still awake.
Will must have felt Mike turning his head, because he quickly sat up, looking embarrassed. ``Sorry,`` he whispered to Mike, wrapping his arms around himself. ``I’m just tired.``
``It’s okay. You can lean on me if you want,`` Mike replied quietly, smiling a bit and fighting down the butterflies in his stomach. Will raised his eyebrows in slight surprise, then returned the smile and laid his head back down on the taller boy’s shoulder, his arms dropping back down into his lap.
Mike let out a small, content sigh, leaning against Will as well and shutting his eyes. After a while, the smooth rolling of the van across the desert road lulled him to sleep.
``Wake up, brochachos!``
Mike opened his eyes to the sound of Argyle’s voice, and immediately grimaced. He rubbed his eyes, sighing and glancing around the van. He could see it was still dark out, but the van had stopped moving, and they were parked in front of a building.
``Where are we?`` he asked as Will stirred beside him. He glanced over at the brown-haired boy, watching as his eyes fluttered open and he sat up beside Mike.
``A motel.`` Jonathan answered from the driver’s seat, twisting around to glance at them. ``Get all your stuff out of the car, we’re staying here for the night.`` Will nodded and unbuckled, and Mike checked his watch. It read 11:26 PM; nearly midnight. As he unbuckled himself and hopped out of the van, he yawned, rubbing his eyes. He couldn’t wait to jump in the shower and wash off all the grime on his body.
As soon as they’d grabbed their stuff, Jonathan was shooing them inside. They were all extremely tired, and ready to just get inside and get to bed. Mike nearly dozed off right where he was standing by the time the exchange of money and room keys was done with the person at the front desk, and Jonathan ushered them into the elevator and down the hall.
``Which room are you kids taking?`` Jonathan asked, glancing at the keys in his hands. The rooms were, luckily, right across from each other. One had two beds, and the other had only one bed. ``You guys don’t mind sharing a bed, right? You’ve done that enough times during sleepovers. Just stay on separate sides of the bed and it should be no issue.``
Mike exchanged a look with Will, and then glanced at Jonathan. ``Uh, yeah, that’s fine I suppose.`` He said, trying to not look as nervous as he felt. Next thing he knew, the keys were in his hands and he was walking into the single-bed room.
``Make sure none of the staff sees you guys alone in here; technically, you’re supposed to have another adult with you, but I know you’ll be fine by yourselves.`` Jonathan said with a nod before closing the door behind the boys.
Mike dropped his bag on the floor, rubbing his eyes and yawning. Will placed his bag on the floor as well, looking through it for some spare clothes. ``You don’t mind if I take the first shower, do you Mike?`` the brunette asked, glancing towards him. Mike shook his head with a smile, crossing the room and sitting on the end of the bed.
``Go ahead. Just don’t use up all of the hot water,`` He replied with a teasing tone, trying to keep the conversation light. Will laughed a bit at that and said something about not being able to make promises before he disappeared into the bathroom.
The second Will was out of sight, Mike groaned, kicking off his shoes. Just his luck, having to share a bed with Will. Of course, Will wasn’t the problem; Mike loved spending time with Will, and it was true they’d shared a bed many times before. No, Mike was just extremely nervous. It was his first time sharing a bed with Will since he’d realized his feelings for the other boy.
Mike laid on his back on the soft mattress, listening to the shower running in the small bathroom. After a couple minutes, he got up and rummaged through his bag, feeling restless. He pulled out the painting and unrolled it, settling on the floor beside the door and admiring the artwork. Maybe this was his chance to confront Will about it; but no, after they’d both showered, Will would probably want to go straight to bed. He sighed, staring at the painting until Will had finished showering.
``Your turn, Mike,`` Will said happily as he exited the bathroom, towel slung over his shoulder. Mike lifted his gaze from the painting and stared at Will, eyes widening slightly. The other boy had chosen a plain white t-shirt and some sweatpants as pajamas. His hair was slicked back after his shower, and… wow.
Quickly, Mike averted his eyes and rolled up the painting, cheeks burning. Now was not the time to be admiring Will’s good looks, as much as he wanted to. ``Thanks,`` he said as he set the painting aside, grabbing his clothes and towel. On his way to the bathroom, he lifted his head, and his eyes immediately found Will, who was already looking at him. Their gazes met, and Mike’s heart leapt in his chest. He quickly opened the door to the bathroom, disappearing inside before he said or did something stupid in front of Will.
After his shower, Mike felt considerably better. He’d changed into a sweatshirt and a pair of shorts, and exited the bathroom, sighing. He’d never take showers for granted ever again. As he crossed the room he ran his fingers through his hair, and caught Will’s gaze trained on him. Brown eyes met hazel, and Mike’s heart fluttered. Will was sitting in bed and under the covers already, a book in his lap. The overhead light had been turned off, and now the only things lighting the room were the lamps on either side of the bed.
``That shower felt so good.`` Mike said to keep the tension at bay, flashing Will a smile. ``I’m never going to take being clean for granted ever again. After being in that van for days, I feel so much better.`` He laughed, earning a grin from Will. He pulled back the blanket on his side of the bed, sliding onto the mattress beside the brunette and pulling up the covers. ``What’re you reading?``
``The Mist,`` Will replied, showing Mike the cover of the book with a small smile. Mike raised his eyebrows slightly as he read the author’s name; Stephen King.
``A horror book- of course you are.`` Mike laughed a bit, shaking his head. Will was an avid fan of all things horror, despite all his trauma with terrifying things like interdimensional monsters and stuff. All Will did in response was grin at the taller boy before sliding his bookmark between the pages and putting the book on the bedside table.
``Ready to sleep?`` Will asked, yawning a bit. Mike nodded, feeling pretty exhausted. It had been a long day, and they were both grateful to have an actual bed to sleep in. But only one bed, Mike thought, that familiar feeling of nervousness twisting his stomach once more. He shook his head slightly, pushing away the thought. So far, he’d done well when it came to not thinking about just how close together they would be, but now that they were both in the bed, Mike realized that they would struggle to not touch when it came to sleeping comfortably. Especially Mike; he had a habit of spreading out on his bed when he slept. It’s fine, he reminded himself. It’s just Will.
``Goodnight, Mike.`` Will said from the other side of the bed, turning off the lamp on his side and settling down underneath the covers.
``G’night, Will.`` Mike replied, turning off his lamp as well as darkness flooded the room, the only light being the soft glow of the moon peeking out from behind the curtains. ``Sleep well.`` He slid down into the bed comfortably, turning so his back was to Will. He closed his eyes, but knew he wouldn’t be falling asleep for a while.
Mike didn’t know how long he laid there, pretending to be asleep- a minute, 30 minutes, an hour? He wasn’t keeping track. But eventually, he felt movement in the bed beside him, and a quiet voice whispered, ``Mike? You awake?``
``Yeah.`` He replied softly, glad to know he wasn’t the only one struggling to sleep.
``I can’t fall asleep,`` the voice said, and Mike rolled over to look at Will, who was already facing him. Their eyes met, and Mike chewed the inside of his cheek as he stared at the smaller boy.
``I can’t either,`` he whispered back, eyes traveling over Will’s face as his eyes started to adjust to the darkness. ``Can I… ask you a question?``
Will nodded slightly, eyes still trained on Mike. ``Go ahead.``
``El didn’t commission that painting, did she?`` he asked after a couple seconds, studying Will’s reaction. Multiple emotions crossed over the brunette’s face all at once; shock, embarrassment, and lastly guilt.
``No, she didn’t,`` Will sighed in response, finally looking away from Mike. His lips curled into a small frown as he continued, ``I’m sorry I lied to you. I just wanted to make you feel better.``
``It’s alright, I’m not mad at you, y’know,`` Mike whispered. ``If it makes you feel any better, I actually prefer that it’s from you , not her,`` he added after a second, causing Will to look over at him once more. He flashed the smaller boy a smile, and got a hesitant one in return. They sat in peaceful silence for a couple moments.
``Actually, El and I broke up right before she was arrested,`` Mike admitted. Will's eyes widened. ``I was going to tell you, but that whole... speech about El needing me and stuff stopped me, I'm not sure why. Even though I knew it wasn't about El, was it?`` he continued, hoping his hunch had been correct. ``It was about you.``
``Yeah,`` Will finally said, looking slightly nervous. Mike gave the smaller boy a reassuring smile, to show he wasn't upset.
``You were crying,`` Mike whispered, but this time it wasn't a question. Will nodded in response, and Mike heaved a small sigh. ``I wanted to comfort you. I should've. I feel so bad for not doing anything.`` Will just shrugged, and they gazed at each other for a couple more seconds. Mike could tell Will wasn't upset about it.
Out of all the responses he could’ve gotten, he definitely didn’t expect the one that next came out of Will’s mouth. ``Your hair looks soft.`` That drew a quiet laugh from Mike, and he nodded. The change of subject was good for the both of them, and so Mike went along with it.
``It is soft. In fact, it’s at its softest right after a shower. Wanna feel it?`` he offered, grinning at Will. Will laughed a bit, and nodded. He reached out, slowly running his fingers through the taller boy’s soft black locks. The touch sent shivers down Mike’s spine. Will was the only one that Mike would let play with his hair; it had been like that ever since they were little. Even after Holly was born, Mike refused her requests to mess with his hair and put it in ponytails.
Mike let Will play with his hair for a couple minutes, enjoying the feeling of Will’s fingers running through his curls. Eventually though, Will’s arm grew tired, and he started pulling his hand out of Mike’s hair. His fingers brushed against Mike’s cheek, and Mike’s heart skipped a beat. His breath hitched, and Will froze, eyes widening. ``You okay, Mike?``
``Y-yeah, it’s just…`` Mike’s hand searched in the dark for Will’s. He didn’t think twice about what he was doing, which he probably should have. When he found Will’s arm, he grabbed the boy’s wrist very gently, bringing it back up to his own face. His grip loosened and he slipped his hand up a bit further, his palm resting on the back of Will’s hand. From there, he guided it until Will’s hand was resting on his cheek. ``this feels nice,`` Mike finally finished, meeting Will’s gaze again.
Will looked rather flustered, eyes wide and lips slightly parted. He blinked at Mike, who suddenly felt embarrassment flood his body, and he quickly let go of the smaller boy’s hand, shifting backwards in the bed. ``Nevermind, sorry. That was weird. Forget it,`` he said quietly, feeling like he might die of embarrassment. So stupid, he thought to himself.
``No, it’s…`` Will shifted closer to Mike, moving his hand of his own accord this time to cup Mike’s cheek gently. Mike’s heart fluttered violently in his chest as he stared at the other boy. ``it’s kinda cute.``
Mike felt like his body might combust. He stared at Will, extremely flustered. Cute? He leaned into Will’s touch, a smile sliding across his lips. ``Will…`` he whispered, eyes traveling across the brunette’s face and admiring his features.
``Hm?`` Will hummed in response, smiling softly at him.
``I like you.`` The moment Mike said it, he regretted it immensely. Will’s hand drew back from his face, and Mike clamped his hands over his own mouth. There was no turning back now. He’d just ruined his friendship with Will. There was no way Will would look at him the same way ever again. They both sat up, staring at each other in silence.
A couple seconds passed, and Mike realized Will was shaking. He was staring at Mike in shock, and tears glistened on his cheeks. Oh my god, he’s crying. Mike thought, and though he wanted nothing more than to scramble out of bed, choke out an apology and run out the door, he felt as if he couldn’t move. Finally, he took a deep breath, fighting not to cry himself.
``I’m sorry. I- Will, please don’t cry, I’m so sorry. I’ll go ask Jonathan now if I can go sleep o-on the floor of his room or- or something, I-`` Mike’s voice cracked and he fell silent, and then turned to get out of the bed. A hand on his arm stopped him, and he turned back around, eyes widening slightly.
The next thing Mike knew, he was being held in an embrace so tight he was struggling to breathe. Will was full-on sobbing into his neck, hands grasping the back of his shirt tightly. His mind was spinning, and he was having some trouble understanding what was going on. After a couple seconds, Will pulled back slightly, putting a shaky hand on Mike’s cheek. It was only then that Mike realized Will was smiling- no, beaming at him.
``You have no idea- no idea how long I’ve been dreaming of you saying those words,`` Will whispered, which finally broke the dam, and now Mike was crying too. Crying because he was grateful that his relationship with Will wasn’t ruined, crying because it actually seemed like the feelings were requited. His hands gripped Will’s shoulders, and then slid down and wrapped around his waist, pulling the smaller boy into a hug.
`` Jesus, Will, you scared me,`` he whispered with a shaky laugh, ``I- I thought I had just ruined our relationship or something, and that you hated me.``
``I’m sorry,`` Will replied with a teary giggle, burying his face into the crook of Mike’s neck. ``In case your thick skull is full of rocks and you still haven’t figured it out, I like you too.`` This earned another laugh from Mike, and he ran his hands down Will’s back, his cheeks hurting from how hard he was smiling.
``God, you and your snarky remarks,`` Mike chuckled, shaking his head slightly, ``and that’s just one of the many reasons why I love you.``
Immediately, they both tensed up. Fear shot through Mike’s body. Too soon? He thought, and felt like he might just start crying again. However, he didn’t get the chance, because Will’s body relaxed again and he mumbled into Mike’s neck, ``I love you too.``
Mike let out a small sob of relief, and he ran his fingers through Will’s hair. After a couple seconds, he pulled back from the hug just enough to look at Will’s face. His hand slid from the smaller boy’s hair and moved to cup his cheek, and he hesitated, gazing at Will’s lips longingly.
``Can I kiss you?`` Mike asked in a whisper. He felt Will nod his head softly in consent, and so he leaned in slowly, Will leaning in as well and meeting Mike in the middle as they closed the gap between their lips.
Will’s lips were smooth and soft. The kiss was slow and gentle, but it sent electric shocks through Mike’s whole body. He could feel Will’s hands wrapping around his neck to play with his hair.
A couple seconds later, they broke apart, and Mike took a deep breath to steady himself, cheeks burning. He gazed at Will happily, who pressed another quick kiss to Mike’s lips before laying back down and pulling Mike with him.
As soon as Mike’s head hit the pillow, Will was wrapping his arms around the taller boy, clinging onto him like a koala. It took Mike a lot of willpower to not burst out laughing as he made that analogy in his mind, but he let a grin show on his face as he snaked his arms around the smaller boy, running his fingers through Will’s soft brown locks of hair.
He let out a content sigh, closing his eyes as he held Will close against his chest. The smaller boy's steady breathing was rather calming. With nothing else gnawing at his mind, the raven-haired boy fell asleep quickly, and the brunette soon followed. For the first time in a long while, both boys slept soundly, limbs tangled around each other.