Work Text:
He was 6 when his parents were murdered infront of him.
"Wei Ying! Run!"
"Listen to mama! You need to run!"
Run.
Run?
Barely registering her voice all he could focus on was his father's head rolling on the ground. Blood splattered infront of him, his mother's eyes draining from life while clinging onto his measly shirt.
Blood.
Blood.
Blood on his face.
Blood on his hands.
Mama?
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3 years later, now faces and voices which had gone hazy never to come back, he still dreams of such sights and hears of such sounds.
He was adopted by the Jiang family at the age of 9, spending 2 years on the streets and 1 year in the adoption center.
Mrs. Jiang would look at him they way the men would look at dogs on streets. Mr. Jiang would pet his head like the little girls on the streets who pet little cats. Shije would hug him like his mother did 3 years ago. Shije would hold him close at nights of terror like his mother once did 3 years ago.Jiang Cheng would chase the dogs away being his protector, something he remembered wishing for during his nights on the streets.
However he didn't belong and never would.
Mrs. Jiangs whips made sure to remind him along with Jiang chengs rage and jealousy filled gaze which soon came to be.
.
.
.
It started with his cuts. Jiang Cheng walked during one of his sessions and walked out screaming calling for help. Were little red lines on his thighs really that bad?
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A cylindrical container filled his hand. Clutching it tightly, he shone it over a light, reading its name, "anti-depressants" for what seemed like the 100th time after his doctor’s visit. pouring ice cold water in a glass, he opened the lid to drop a single pill on to his hand. he rubbed and squeezed it trying to figure out if it's hard or soft. It glossed in the light appearing some what inhumane. Deciding to put a stop to his thoughts, he took a gulp of the water and slid the pill in his mouth. That's when he felt it. It was an indescribable feeling. His throat closing around the slim pill, giving him a slight chocking like feeling. It stirred something in his gut. The feeling reminded of the drunk men trying choke him those late nights. Except this felt more...gentle and calmer...even some what comforting in a way.
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From then on he took his pills readily sometimes slipping in an extra one, sometimes even becoming three.
His urge grew and grew. He tried to recreate the feeling. He tried to choke himself with his own hands. He tried to gulp the vitamin gummies Jiang Cheng loved. It filled his thirst.
Until it couldn't.
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And so he sat infront of his shijes well loved soup. The only sound was the static tv in the background. His brain felt as lone and numb as ever. Jiang Cheng and shije left for for work an hour ago leaving him on his own once again. The chair screeched as he got up. At that moment he felt it again. The chocking and clogging of his throat along with his mouth salivating. His eyes immediately searched for the eerie white pills sitting beside shijes soup. Quickly grabbing three pills he gluped it all in. Not enough. Not enough. His head spiralled into those shiny pills while his mouth kept on salivating.
. . He wanted more. He needed more.
. . Suddenly his eyes caught hold of his favorite wine sitting on the counter top. And an idea clicked into his mind. Grabbing one of the fancy glasses shije had bought for her dates with Jin Zixuan, he grabbed the wine bottle and filled the glass half full of the high quality wine. Setting it on the table, he ran to the cabinet fishing out all the pill bottles he could find. Carrying about 6 pill bottles along with the glass and the wine bottle, he made way into the bathroom and settled everything on the bathtub’s rim, just beside the shampoos. He turned on the shower and let the tub start filling up with warm water. Going back to his bedroom, he fetched his phone and placed it beside the bathroom sink. The tub was about half filled now. He walked over to it and climbed over it. His sweatpants and white t-shirt slowly soaking and dripping with water, he finally settled in comfortably, leaning onto the tub. His long hair fell into the water getting all wet, but he couldn't care less. He took the cylindrical pill containers and started dropping them, one by one, into the glass of wine. His brain being all muddled and hazy, half of the pills dropped around while some of the wine overflowed and dripped into the water painting it a light pink. The glass now was filled with a mixture of wine and multiple pills floating on top. The red wine didn't seem seemed to have lost it red color, now a brown that resembled blood due to the pills. He wrapped his pale and bony fingers around the glass carefully, making sure none of the contents of the glass spilled and brought it to his chapped lips. He gulped it down. Multiple pills filled his mouth along with the wine, squeezing his eyes shut he forced them down his throat painfully, all while relishing the feeling of the pills chocking him. His throat closed around the slim pills, making him feel like he was suffocating. Tears pricked his eyes as he tried to shove the drink down his throat in one go. He coughed raw and hoarse as he violently threw the glass on to the bathroom floor, shattering and dirtying the floor with pills and wine. He clutched at the edges of the tub thrashing and gasping for air, making water splash on the floor. Tears started to stream down his face, all while wine and pills were scattered around the floor, making the bathroom look like a catastrophe, he couldn’t help but feel a ting of sympathy for his shije and Jiang Cheng, who'd have to clean up his mess once again. Fortunately for them, it would be the last time he would be a bother. His mind brought him back to his situation he could feel his stomach churning uncomfortably but it couldn't stop him from wanting more. Grabbing the wine bottle and pills yet again, he guzzled down the wine and forced the pills to slide down his throat, alternatively switching between them. His throat felt raw and hoarse from the rough treatment but he didnt want to stop. His head started to feel heavy now and slammed back into edge of the tub while he looked at the celling above. The water was now colored a darker pink along with his stained shirt. He felt his body go numb and his feet all clammy and prickly. His hand shook and twitched along. He could feel the bile and vomit rise up his throat but did nothing to stop it. He didn't know what was happening, he couldn't move, his bones weighed him down and his mouth started to foam. Colorful spots danced around his vision slowly fading into black. He felt tired. He felt numb. His eyelids drooped as he stopped fighting back his confusion and curiosity. He didn't know how long he layed there deprived of any feeling or strength in his body. He vaguely heard a certain ring tone before darkness finally wrapped him into its comfort like black wings. It welcomed him home while flying him away from his gruesome fated life.
He was in peace.
He was happy.
He let go.
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Those wings never opened again.