Archive of Our Own ^beta

Chapter Text

It all began on a rainy day. An especially bad one, too. Clouds rolled in like waves and the sky gushed out rain like it was throwing a temper tantrum. The wind was unrelenting, howling with all its might while thunder roared in the distance. The poor windows - they were doing their best to stay in one piece amidst the barrage of raindrops and the wind threatening to tear them down.

The terrible weather, however, didn’t dampen Gojo Satoru’s mood at all. In fact, it has only served as oil to his already blazing flame. 

Sheltered safely in a classroom, Gojo cheered, thanking the heavens above for bestowing upon them such a blessing. Goodbye, physical education class. Hello, free period!

“Cut it out, Satoru, or you’re actually gonna make Mr. Yaga mad.”

Gojo turned to the occupant of the table beside him. Geto Suguru, class monitor, aka Mr. Bangs, was frowning at him. Gojo was sometimes concerned with how much Geto frowned. Wouldn’t that make him more prone to getting wrinkles?

“Don’t be so uptight, Suguru,” Gojo cooed. “I know you’re as happy as me that we don’t have to run ten laps around the track.”

Geto narrowed his eyes but said nothing. Gojo smirked, taking that as a yes, and laughed triumphantly. 

“Gojo, Geto, be quiet!” 

“Sorry, Mr. Yaga,” Geto instantly apologised. 

The moment Mr. Yaga turned back to marking their exam papers, Gojo became the victim of a sharp elbow jab.

“Ow!” Gojo yelped.

Gojo was about to return the favour by pushing Geto off his chair when the door to their classroom slid open. Everything died on his tongue when he saw his favourite juniors, Haibara and Nanami, standing at the threshold. 

Noticing the arrival of visitors, Yaga raised an eyebrow, an unsaid question.

Haibara bowed, as did Nanami. 

“Sorry for intruding, Mr. Yaga. Mind if me and my friend stay in this classroom for this period?”

Yaga’s face soured, as if he had swallowed a mouthful of lemon juice. He glanced over at Gojo, and Gojo knew he was contemplating whether it would be wise to not just need to watch over two more teenagers, but also allow Gojo more company. It was no secret that Haibara and Nanami came over to hangout with Gojo and Geto, after all.

After a seemingly long debate with himself, Yaga grunted reluctantly, “As long as you don’t make a ruckus.”

The effect was instantaneous. Haibara’s face lit up like a Christmas tree as he bowed so quickly, Gojo was surprised he didn’t snap his spine. “Thanks, Mr. Yaga!” 

When Haibara and Nanami came over, both Gojo and Geto simultaneously stood up to offer their seats - much to each other’s annoyance. 

Geto huffed. Turning to Haibara and Nanami, he smiled, “Please sit down.”

“Oh, you don’t have to!” Haibara politely declined. “Me and Kento will just stand. Are you OK with that, Kento?”

The blond kid Nanami only said drily, “Something as trivial as this won’t bother me.”

“If you insist.” Propping his chin up on a hand, Geto asked, “So? What brings you here?” 

“We’re bored!” Haibara whined. “And I want to talk with my favourite upperclassmen. Isn’t that enough of a reason?”

Gojo nodded like a sage. “He’s got a point, Suguru. If I were your underclassman, I would visit you too, just to annoy you!”

The smile on Geto remained. At first, Gojo thought he didn’t hear his remark. It might have been true, due to the cacophony the thunderstorm was rousing up, but Geto’s twitching eyebrow gave him away.

“Have you guys heard of the gay chicken game?”

“Gay chicken game?” Gojo perked up at Haibara’s curious question. 

As if expecting Gojo’s cluelessness on the game, Haibara enthusiastically explained with eyes sparkling like diamonds, “It’s the newest trendy game! Basically, two straight guys are dared to date each other, and the first one to chicken out loses!”

The implication clicked itself in Gojo’s head. Mouth falling open, he pointed at Haibara, then at Nanami, then back at Haibara. 

“W-were you two-”

At first, Haibara seemed confused. Then, realisation dawned on his face and he rapidly shook his head. Gojo was oddly reminded of a dog drying itself. 

“Oh, nonono- Kento and I- well, Kento was excepted because he’s ace, so-”

The blush on Haibara’s cheeks were definitely not difficult to read. While Gojo wanted to hear more details, he decided to be a good upperclassman and not pressure his juniors. 

Leaning back, Geto thoughtfully tapped a finger on his chin. “Hm. That is something very interesting though - the game.” 

Slowly, Gojo turned to Geto. Without even needing to say anything, it was as if Geto already knew what Gojo was going to say.

Sighing, Geto began tiredly, “Don’t-”

“As a straight man, I, Satoru, dare you, Suguru, to the gay chicken game with our manly pride on the line!”

Haibara audibly gasped. Even Nanami, who was impassively watching their conversation, coughed behind his fist.

Geto obviously wanted to reject the dare. But being dared in front of two of his juniors who respected him, he pursed his lips. Gojo smirked. If Geto rejected the dare, he would definitely lose face in front of Haibara and Nanami - and Gojo personally knew he cared a lot about his precious reputation.

“Fine,” Geto hissed through gritted teeth. 

Chuckling, Gojo declared, “We have a deal, then! I will not lose, Suguru.”

“I will note that down, so I can rub that in your face when you lose.”

“This is so exciting! Don’t you think, Kento?” Haibara beamed.

Nanami, for his part, refused to reply.

However, no one was ready for the shenanigans that would ensue because of this seemingly innocent dare. 

It should have lasted a week. It should have ended in a month. It should have, by the longest, ended when they graduated, but no. 

By the time anyone realised, eleven years have passed, and neither Gojo nor Geto have given up.

Chapter Text

Sometimes, Suguru wakes up thinking that reality is a dream. 

Never in his life did he think he would get to not just date, but marry, have kids and run their own family bakery with Satoru. Every day, he laid in bed like this for several minutes, allowing Satoru’s soft snoring and the warmth of Satoru’s body pressed against his to overflow his senses as he registered that this was real, this was real .

It was moments like this when Satoru was not awake that Suguru could be as greedy as he wanted; to pretend that all this was not under some obligation of a dare, to pretend that they were actually together. Letting out a soft sigh, Suguru gently pulled Satoru’s head closer so that Satoru was lying on top of his shoulder. Satoru mumbled something incomprehensible, but his eyes still remained closed. His hair ruffled and cheeks rosy - truly a sleeping beauty. 

In a soft whisper, Suguru murmured into Satoru’s hair which smelled of home, “Satoru, you have to drive the kids to school.”

Burying himself closer into Suguru’s chest (Suguru prayed he couldn’t hear how his heart skipped a beat), Satoru groaned, “Five more minutes…”

“Sato-”

The door bursting open by none other than their daughter, Nanako, was what actually woke Satoru up. He shot straight up in alarm, blue eyes widened in panic and hands gripping the blankets way too tightly. Suguru knew it was a remnant of the habit of his to immediately run towards their children who came crying about nightmares, but they were older now, and it took a while for Suguru to convince him to relax. While Suguru appreciated Satoru prioritising their children a lot, it wouldn’t be good for him to be as taut as a stretched rubber band all the time. 

Under the sheets, Suguru placed a hand on top of Satoru’s, just to calm him down. Nanako, however, wasn’t impressed at all that they were still in bed.

“Dad, we’re going to be late!” To show just how annoyed she was, she stomped a couple of times, puffing her cheeks till her face was red. God, she’s just so adorable - and he was sure Satoru thought the same too.

Getting off the bed and stumbling towards the bathroom, Satoru hastily shouted, “Coming, coming!” 

With a huff, Nanako turned on her heels and slammed the door behind her. Suguru smirked, turning to Satoru while supporting his head with an arm. 

“So, no more five more minutes, huh?”

Satoru didn’t even turn back to look at him, too busy sifting through his closet for a T-shirt and shorts. While Suguru was slightly disappointed by their time being cut short, Suguru fondly chuckled, knowing that only their kids would make Satoru leap out of bed in no time. It just showed how much Satoru loved their kids as much as he did - even if Satoru didn’t explicitly say it, it showed a lot in his actions.

So lost in his thought that he didn’t realise he had been eyeing Satoru’s bare back this entire time. Once he did, he quickly diverted his gaze to the ceiling, hoping that Satoru didn’t catch him doing it.

“I have to be the dad they need, don’t I?” came Satoru’s reply. A grunt as his head popped out from his T-shirt. “You’ve already bested me in Nanako and Mimiko’s eyes - I need to shine, too.”

Choosing to try his chance, Suguru asked as coolly (and not nervously) as possible, “A kiss before you leave?” 

This time, Satoru looked at him, a strange glint in his eye. Under that gaze, Suguru felt less like his husband and more like a stranger. A lump formed in his throat, one that he tried to ease out. It was that gaze that Suguru didn’t like - when those crystal blue eyes of Satoru’s seemed to pierce deeper than they seem, like Satoru was trying to read his very soul. Suguru was afraid that sooner or later, Satoru will learn the ugly truth by just looking at him, and this beautiful reality they have constructed will be shattered into a million pieces; and even if they tried to piece it back together, it will never be the same again.

Because nine years ago, Suguru fell for Satoru. Nine years ago, this game should have ended, but Suguru was a coward.

Satoru huffed, grudgingly walking over to Suguru’s side to peck a kiss on his lips. “Now you can’t say I’ve chickened out.”

“You were close, though.”

How cruel of him - to make use of an outdated dare to make Satoru his.

Satoru smiled, something that was his, yet not his.

“Like I said eleven years ago - I will not lose, Suguru.”

Suguru flicked his forehead. “Go and drive the kids, or else you won’t hear the end from Tsumiki and Nanako.”

Rolling his eyes, Satoru got off the bed, Suguru immediately missing his presence already. At the door, Satoru gave one final glance back at him.

“I’ll be off, Suguru.”

Suguru raised a hand in farewell. “See you later, Satoru.”

Only once the door closed and Suguru was alone in the bedroom did Suguru sink back into the bed, covering his eyes with his arm. 

You’ve got nothing to worry about, though, Satoru, because you’ve already won the game.

Chapter Text

Megumi felt like his world exploded. He mustn’t make a sound. No, he needed to escape to his room as soon as possible without papa noticing. 

He made a move, but just so it happened, a silhouette fell over him, and he knew he was noticed.

“Oh, Megumi. You’re home early,” a calm but surprised voice said. Usually, listening to papa’s voice would soothe his worries, but now, it sent his heart into a frenzy. He felt like a robber caught red-handed. 

God, please save me.

Turning slowly, he faced his papa, who was standing at the threshold of the living room in his jumper and sweatpants, a phone held in his hand. A name was displayed on the bright screen: Ieiri Shoko . Who was this Ieiri Shoko person? Why was he talking to her? A thousand questions ran wild in Megumi’s brain, and it was all Megumi could do to not let it show. 

Play it cool, Megumi. Act like you’ve heard nothing and everything will be fine.  

Finding it too hard to meet papa’s eyes, Megumi decided to stare at the vase of flowers behind papa instead. “Y-yeah. The teacher had an emergency, so they dismissed us earlier. There’ll be a replacement class on another day, though.”

“Ah, I see.” Papa frowned. 

Please, just let him go already. He doesn’t know what he will do that might give him away. 

“You should have waited for your siblings. That way dad can pick you all up.”

Megumi shook his head. “I would arrive home earlier this way. I wanted to finish up my homework.”

Hearing that, a proud smile made its way onto papa’s face. Fondly, papa ruffled his hair. “You’re so hardworking. Off you go, then. Take a shower before you start your homework, yeah?”

“I will.”

As naturally as he could, Megumi made his way to his room. Once the door was shut behind him he collapsed, letting out a sigh of relief. 

That was such a close call. He was glad that papa didn’t ask him if he heard anything. But still, something like that…it was most unnatural. While he can brush off many things in his life which are irrelevant to him, this was certainly not one of them. Nanako and Mimiko were closer to papa, so perhaps they would know better. Sitting up and crossing his legs, he chewed on his lips, finger hovering over the call button of Nanako’s number. 

“Argh, dammit,” he cursed under his breath.

He pressed on her number. With bated breath, he waited as the call went through. On the third ring, he was graced by the annoyed click of Nanako’s tongue.

“What is it?”

There was quite a cacophony in her background. Megumi checked the time. She was probably in the school lobby now with Tsumiki and Mimiko, waiting for dad to pick them up.

“Come to my room the moment you guys get home,” Megumi said seriously. “There’s something I want to discuss with you guys.”

Twenty minutes later, fully showered, Megumi returned to his room. Tsumiki, Nanako and Mimiko had already arrived home and were sitting on the floor of his room, talking languidly while Nanako was scrolling through her phone. When Megumi came in, she put her phone down and scowled.

“Explain,” she demanded.

She needn’t say more. Megumi really wanted to get to the bottom of this too. So sitting down between Tsumiki and Mimiko, Megumi began, “Are our parents married?”

The silence that greeted his question was painfully stressful. He could see it in their eyes that they were not processing what he said, but how probably on whether or not he had hit his head.

“Duh,” Nanako finally said. She didn’t seem angry. Rather, she seemed confused.

Megumi pursed his lips. “Today, I came back home early and accidentally overheard papa on the phone.”

“Oh, what was he talking about?” Tsumiki asked, genuinely curious. 

Megumi glanced to the back to make sure the door was locked behind him. Leaning forwards, the others following suit, he whispered, “I overheard papa asking advice on how to confess to dad.”

A series of gasps arose in dramatic unison. 

“No way!” 

“Aren’t they married…?” 

“ Who is it? Who was he talking to on the phone?”

“It was someone named Ieiri Shoko,” Megumi stated hurriedly. Nanako looked like she was about to choke him if he didn’t answer within the next second. 

“Ieiri Shoko…” Tsumiki muttered. But apparently she couldn’t think of anyone, if the crease between her eyebrows were to say anything. 

Nanako whipped out her phone, tapping on Google and typing like mad. “I’m searching her up.”

Mimiko nodded and leaned over Nanako’s shoulder to look at her phone, leaving Megumi clueless on what to do.

However, not twenty seconds later, Nanako shouted, “Found her!”

“Who is she?” Megumi inquired.

“Shut up, I’m about to tell you,” Nanako snapped. Clearing her throat, she read out, “Ieiri Shoko, general surgeon based in The University of Tokyo Hospital, graduated from The University of Tokyo with a bachelor’s degree in medicine and surgery. Oh, she’s quite pretty, too.”

“Why is papa asking love advice from a surgeon?” Mimiko wondered.

“The question is: why is he asking for advice on how to confess? I’m pretty sure being married, they are way past that stage,” Tsumiki pondered.

Nanako snapped her fingers. “Actually, could it be that ?”

“That?” Tsumiki and Megumi questioned.

“Papa always insists that he and dad are only married for a dare,” Mimiko explained quietly.

Rolling her wrist, Nanako said, “Something along the lines of ‘I would never marry this creepy weirdo’ and ‘I did it just to make him shut up’. That’s what papa told me and Mimiko when we asked why he would marry such a moron.”

“Nanako,” Tsumiki warned sternly.

“Sorry, sis, but I was only spitting facts. At that time.” Leaning back, Nanako stared at the ceiling. “Only now do I know how much of a good dad he is. He’s caring, kind, and just a little goofy - I wouldn’t trade him for anyone else. He’s the best dad in the world. Well, maybe second to papa.”

A fat silence settled in as they agreed on Nanako’s thoughts. Maybe not the last part, because Megumi loved them both equally, as their fathers.

But still, there was something that didn't seem right no matter how he looked at it. Even if it was just for a dare, isn’t nine years of marriage a little too much?

Chapter Text

Yuji was, to say the least, excited. After five months of dating Megumi, Megumi finally revealed their relationship to his parents. Shortly after, Megumi had told him that his parents wanted him to come over to their house this weekend. 

At first, Yuji had been nervous, being asked over so soon. But excitement had won him out in the end, because he couldn’t wait to meet Megumi’s family - the people who raised Megumi and who Megumi had grown up with. 

Megumi doesn’t talk much, but when he does, it is always about his family. His features would soften and a cute little smile will make its way onto his lips when he does. Although, upon finding out that Megumi had two dads, it surprised Yuji so much that he had immediately inquired more about Megumi’s dads, curious to know more on how they got together.

However, Megumi appeared conflicted as he said, “They…it’s kind of a long story. You probably wouldn’t believe me.”

Yuji had tilted his head, wondering what was so intriguing about Megumi’s parents. Could it be that they were government spies? They had superpowers? Or worse…they were homophobes?!

Wait, that wouldn’t be right. They’ve married each other, so they’re probably some shade of gay.

“I guess I’ll find out this weekend!” Yuji laughed.

Sure enough, this weekend came within a blink of an eye, and now Yuji found himself standing on Megumi’s house’s doorstep.

Needless to say, Yuji did his best to look good and dress well today. He had styled his hair, which he almost never usually does. He had gone with a yellow hoodie with a cute tiger imprint on top of a pair of rolled up denim jeans today. Not too fancy, not too extravagant, but casual enough, he hoped. (Actually, he just got too indecisive and went with his favourite hoodie. Again.) To add icing on the cake, he had also brought a little surprise for Megumi and his family.

The moment he pressed on the doorbell, he could hear multiple footsteps thundering its way towards him, as if a herd of sheep had been let loose. Instinctively, Yuji wanted to run, but before he could, the door was wrenched open by two panting people: a white-haired man in sunglasses and a blonde girl in a yellow sweater and a black skirt. 

Just by seeing their features and comparing them with Megumi’s account of each of his family members, Yuji could tell that they were his dad, Gojo, and his sister, Nanako. 

Hastily, he sunk into a bow. “I’m Itadori Yuji! Megumi’s boyfriend! Nice to meet you guys!”

Crap, he hoped he didn’t sound too nervous.

Leaning down, Gojo put two of his fists under his chin, visibly cooing, “Aw, he’s soo polite. Megumi, you certainly scored a good one!”

Meanwhile, Megumi’s sister Nanako looked him up and down. “Hm. Not bad, I guess. You get a passing grade.”

Yuji was beyond confused. A passing grade for what, exactly?

“Can you guys not harass my boyfriend at the genkan? Let him in already for god’s sake.”

The moment Yuji saw Megumi approaching, he beamed, waving excitedly at him. “Megumi!”

Megumi’s scowl instantly softened when he met Yuji’s eyes. And oh, god, was Megumi dressed so cutely today. He was wearing a black shirt and grey baggy pants, but that was not the eye-catcher. What made Yuji’s face heat up was that Megumi was wearing a frilly hot pink apron.

His blush didn’t go unnoticed if Gojo’s smirk was to mean anything. 

“What?” Megumi asked flatly. God, he was adorably ridiculous wearing the frilly hot pink apron with a stoic face. It was hard to take him seriously when he was wearing that .

Nanako let out a mocking cackle. “You might want to take off your apron.”

It was then Megumi realised he had been wearing the most humiliating outfit. Blushing furiously, he turned around and stormed back to the kitchen, calling out, “Let Yuji in already!”

“Yes, yes,” Gojo sang. Stepping aside, he gestured to Yuji to come in. 

Yuji bowed lightly as he entered. “Sorry for disturbing.”

Slapping Yuji’s back, much to Yuji’s shock, Gojo barked out a laugh. “No need to be so polite! Come, come, lunch is almost ready.”

After taking his shoes off, Yuji stepped onto the hallway, the marble floor slippery and cold under his feet. From where he was now, he couldn’t see much except for the dining and living room on the right, two doors on the left and the hallway splitting into two, left and right, at the end. It looked like a small, comfortable place to live.

Yuji figured it was now or never. With both of his hands, he held towards Gojo a paper gift bag. “U-um, I come bearing gifts. There’s strawberry milk for Tsumiki, macarons for Nanako and Mimiko, zaru soba for Geto-san and zunda and cream kikufuku for you.”

Gojo’s mouth fell open, as if he couldn’t believe whatever Yuji had said. Or maybe the gifts. Oh, crap, did he overdo it?

“You bought macarons?!” Before he knew it, Nanako had swooped in like a vulture and the bag was snatched from his hands.

Gojo snapped out of his stupor then, giving Nanako a disapproving look. “Nanako, that’s not how you should handle gifts from our guests - especially Yuji.”

Nanako rolled her eyes. “Yes, yes, sorry.” She didn’t seem sorry at all, too busy taking out the gifts one by one from the bag to find her macarons.

“I apologise for Nanako,” Gojo sighed. 

“It’s fine!” Yuji chuckled. “To be honest, I’m relieved. I thought I overdid it.”

Gojo seemed to read his mind as he waved his hand. “I was just surprised that Megumi has run you down on what we like. I definitely will enjoy the kikufuku - and I’m sure the others will enjoy their gifts too.”

After a short talk with Gojo, Yuji was led to the dining room, where colourful platters of mouth-watering Japanese food were served on a rectangular glass table. Yuji was beyond impressed with the options. There was garlic fried rice, sashimi, shoyu ramen, teriyaki chicken, sushi and green tea - truly a feast, even just for his eyes!

“Suguru, Tsumiki and Megumi cooked it,” Gojo said proudly. “They’re the best chefs in the world, their food is just delicious !”

Yuji gaped, certain of that. “Can you cook too, Gojo-san?”

“Unfortunately, I’ve been banned from cooking. You see, if I’m behind the stove, chances are the house will burn down.”

“Oh.”

“It happened once.”

“What?”

Megumi came out of the kitchen then, followed behind by who must be his papa Geto and his sister Tsumiki. The two nodded at Yuji, and so Yuji promptly bowed.

“Geto-san, Tsumiki.”

“Hello, Itadori.”

“Oi.” A sharp glare was sent in Gojo's direction. “Stop looking at me like that, dad.”

“I mean,” Gojo began innocently. “Why did you take it off? I bet Yuji wanted to see you more in that ap-”

Before Gojo could finish that sentence, Yuji jumped in, “A-ah! Let’s-let’s eat, shall we? Before the food gets cold!” 

That was a close call. Gojo was dangerous - too dangerous - he could read his thoughts almost too well. Even if it was true, he did not want to admit that, no, not in front of Megumi’s family. 

Yuji randomly picked a seat on the longer side of the rectangular table. Megumi sat beside him and opposite him sat Gojo and Geto. Yuji was waiting for everyone to be seated before digging in, but when he saw Tsumiki leaving instead of joining them, he was puzzled. 

“Tsumiki, are you not going to eat?”

With a gentle smile over her shoulder, Tsumiki said, “Oh, I’ll have it later. The others too, so you don’t have to wait for them.” She then mouthed something that might have been ‘good luck’, but Yuji couldn’t be sure, because before he could ask she was already gone.

So that leaves him in a room with Megumi and his parents. Just him and Megumi and his parents.

Haha. Yuji doesn’t have a good feeling about this.

“So, Itadori, was it?” 

Yuji jolted upright at Geto’s question. The long-haired man was all smiles and friendly, even passing him a piece of teriyaki chicken, but Yuji could feel a silent pressure emanating from him; he felt like there was a snake slowly curling around him, threatening to squeeze the life out of him with a wrong move.

“Y-yes, sir.” Yuji lifted his plate to accept the chicken, but even then his hands were shaking. 

“I’ll have to be blunt, forgive me for doing so. Do you truly love Megumi from the bottom of your heart?”

“Yes, sir!” Yuji squeaked. 

“Now, now, Suguru, you’re scaring the kid!” Gojo lightly scolded. “He got us a ton of gifts, too! Least we could do is to not scare him. Now say ‘aaa’.”

Geto disdainfully eyed the spoonful of fried rice Gojo was holding towards him.

“Stop being so childish, Satoru. I’m just making sure that-”

In a singsong voice, Gojo teased, “Chicken…”

Geto sighed, as if defeated. 

Meanwhile, gears were furiously spinning in Yuji’s head. Chicken? What did that mean? Was Gojo threatening to choke Geto with the teriyaki chicken?

While Gojo flew an aeroplane of fried rice into an embarrassed Geto’s mouth, Yuji felt something tapping his lap and he looked down, finding Megumi showing him a text on his phone.

‘Sorry that they’re like this. If you feel uncomfortable just knock my knee and I’ll make them stop.’

Yuji smiled, giving an ‘ok’ sign under the table. Megumi is just so caring! Luckily, lunch proceeded rather smoothly after that, with Gojo and Geto occasionally asking about Yuji’s past, family, and his ambitions. Nothing serious was brought up, so eventually Yuji unwinded and became more open too. He clicked especially well with Gojo, much to Geto and Megumi’s trepidation.

After lunch and chatting with everyone in the living room, it was time for Yuji to get back home (before his grandfather whoops his ass). Kindly enough, everyone gathered at the genkan as he got ready to depart.

Gojo patted his shoulder like a comrade. “It was nice meeting you, kid!”

“Come back again soon!” Nanako beamed.

Touched by the future invitations, Yuji smiled and saluted. “I will, everyone! Thanks for having me!”

Turning around, Yuji was about to reach out to twist the doorknob, when-

“Yuji!”

He was pulled back, lips that were open in surprise captured in warm, sweet lips that tasted like teriyaki. Ah, Megumi. With a satisfied exhale, he met Megumi’s beautiful eyes, green like the surface of a calm ocean, shaded by fluttering long eyelashes.

Snap. “Blackmail acquired.”

“Nanako!”

Yuji was then reminded that Megumi’s family was still there. His heart jumped into his throat and his blood was set on fire all at once. Hurriedly bowing once again, he exclaimed ‘see you!’ before getting the hell out of there. Oh, god, he can’t believe he kissed Megumi in front of his family the first time they met! Ahhh that was so embarrassing!

***

Truth be told, after meeting little Yuji, Satoru was glad that Megumi had found someone special to him. So far, Yuji seems like a good guy too, and Satoru will be more than happy to have him as his son-in-law. 

But when Megumi kissed Yuji in front of everyone, Satoru had felt an indescribable ache in his chest. He didn’t say anything about it, wanting to send Yuji off the best he can, but he can’t help but wonder…

Was he jealous at how Megumi and Yuji can love each other openly? With no fears, no expectations, or an obligation to?

No, it can’t be. It can’t have been jealousy. Satoru is straight, he shouldn’t be feeling this way. He shouldn’t, right?

***

Megumi

Today, 8:30pm

reminds me, i haven’t figured out what you said i wouldn’t believe about ur parents. what was it?

> Oh. Right. We didn’t get to talk about that.

they’re very sweet people though! i want to become like them when i grow up…megumi, we should definitely adopt kids too!

> They’re not actually married.

…what?

> I mean, legally, yes, but they’re married under like, some stupid dare or something. Gay chicken game I think it was. Apparently it’s been going on since before they got married.

hmm that could be the ‘chicken’ I heard during lunch!

> That was probably it.

i can’t believe it…they seem like they genuinely love each other too! no way it’s jst a dare!

> I’m glad you think the same too Yuji. I do hope they realise their feelings for each other soon, as weird as it is to say for my own married parents. I don’t know how long I can stay sane.

aww megumi…i’m rooting for them too!! i hope it all works out soon!! :D

> Yeah, me too.

Chapter Text

Ieiri Shoko is a general surgeon. An excellent one at that, no doubt about it. In her own field, she was one of the best, with a never-ending stream of requests for her aid from people all around Japan. Shoko barely gets her own free time, and when she does, she smokes and drinks to relieve her stress. Not the best way to cope but hey, everyone praised Shoko and there was no one who wasn’t satisfied with her work. One might think Shoko was living the dream, but in reality-

Ding!

Ah, here it comes. When she was having her free time, too.

Dingding! Ding! Ding! Ding! 

Oh, for fuck’s sake. With an exasperated puff, she took the cigarette out of her mouth and used her other hand to grab her phone. The name on her notification bar was none other than Satoru. 

Gojo Satoru

> Shoko

> Shoko

> Shoko

> Stop ignoring me

> I know you’re on break

> Serious question. Do you think I’m gay?

Ieiri Shoko constantly contemplated her life decision. Studying medicine, smoking, becoming a surgeon. But one thing she kind of regretted was befriending Satoru and Suguru in high school. 

Don’t get her wrong, the two of them were great people. Satoru was a funny outgoing friend who was not afraid to speak his mind. He was someone you would want in a party, an unlimited source of fun. Suguru, on the other hand, was his polar opposite. All polite smiles and a strong moral compass, someone understanding who is comfortable with silence. Together, Suguru was like the solid anchor to Satoru’s wild storm. Although sometimes, for better or worse, they were like oil and water.

Thus, her predicament. Her problem wasn’t the two of them individually, but the two of them together. What made Shoko regret befriending them was how she got dragged into this absolute mess of a charade that could have sprung right out from a terrible fanfiction. 

It was obvious that Satoru and Suguru loved each other. The reason why they haven’t figured this out was because the two of them were utter idiots. One was still convinced he was straight, while the other was sure that the first was straight. To add icing to the cake, there was their so-called ‘manly pride’. If only one of them would let go of that and talk to each other, this might have been solved ten years ago when Suguru had his gay awakening. But of course, no, this was Satoru and Suguru - they just had to be ultra dramatic.

Before she could even remove Satoru’s texts from her notification bar, a call came in and she groaned. 

Geto Suguru. Speak of the devil. Can’t she just have one peaceful break time all to herself? Work was already tiring without her acting as a relationship consultant to Satoru and Suguru while keeping her consultation hidden from the other.

Just as she decided to end the call, an interesting idea formed in her head. An idea that could make them realise their feelings towards each other and end Shoko’s suffering; a plan that makes it a win for both her and them. Lips forming into a smirk, she picked up the call, her mood better than before.

“Hi, Suguru.”

Silence for a while, on the other end. Then, “You’re onto something, aren’t you?”

Already? She hasn't even done anything yet.

“What makes you think that?”

“You’d usually ask ‘what is it?’ instead of greeting me enthusiastically.”

“I just said ‘hi’, does that sound very enthusiastic to you?”

“In your books? Yes.”

Damn, Suguru was way too sharp. But no matter. She may be outed, but that doesn’t mean she was going to give up on her plan. 

Smoothing out herself, Shoko proposed, “Suguru, why don’t we have whatever talk you want to have tomorrow instead? At Starbucks, 5pm. If it’s not that important, or if it’s about Satoru.”

For a moment, Suguru seemed to struggle with speech, stuttering over incomprehensible words. It’s hilarious; Shoko could imagine him opening and closing his mouth like a confused fish. It must be about Satoru, then. Oh, how easy he is to read when it comes to Satoru. 

At long last, he got the words out and said slightly flustered, “I- alright. I hope I’m not interrupting anything. I’ll see you tomorrow then, Shoko.”

“See you.”

Once Shoko hung up, she immediately got to work, thumbs tapping away on her phone to two other people.

And, send .

Shoko can’t wait for the shitshow that’s about to go down. 

***

The next day when the clock struck four fifteen, Satoru turned to Suguru, who was giving an old lady opposite the counter her change for her sausage bun.

“Thanks for buying from us! Please come again.” Suguru bowed slightly. 

Satoru made sure the old lady had left the bakery, leaving the two of them alone, before starting as casually as he could, “Suguru, do you mind taking over until closing time? I got some important things to attend to, so-”

Raising an eyebrow, Suguru asked suspiciously, “What important things?” 

There was no way Satoru was going to admit he was going to see Shoko to ask for her advice. He was having a crisis and it’s eating him out alive. He needed someone who could talk to, and as Suguru was the root of his crisis, Suguru must absolutely not know about his arrangement.

“It-it’s none of your business,” Satoru pouted. 

Suguru eyed him for a while, but ultimately gave up chasing the topic with a sigh. “Fine. But I also have somewhere to go, so we’ll just have to close the shop.”

“Oh.” Now it was Satoru’s turn to be surprised. Suguru was not one to keep quiet about his plans till the last minute too. If it were to be put in his words, ‘we’re the only ones running the bakery, so we need to inform each other if we can’t work at least a day before’ or something like that. But Satoru was sort of grateful that Suguru also had an emergency arrangement. Because if he criticises Satoru, he would be a hypocrite. It was probably why Suguru wasn’t scolding him in the first place. On any other day, Satoru was sure to be harshly lectured by Suguru.

“Are you going to help or not?” 

Satoru snapped out of his reverie. Grabbing the cloth by the sink, he yelled, “Coming!”

Fifteen minutes later, they both made their separate ways and hopped onto their respective cars on the street in front of their bakery. Since Satoru and Suguru’s cars were parked next to each other, Satoru shot a middle finger at Suguru, which Suguru immediately graciously returned.

Satoru barked a laugh, even though Suguru couldn’t hear it. Then, reversing, he got out of the parking space and onto the road, Starbucks his destination. For five minutes, even when Satoru got onto the main road, Suguru still followed closely behind on his tail. It did not go unnoticed by Satoru, who smirked to himself.

“Clingy guy, isn’t he?” Satoru joked to himself. Suguru might be stalking, but frankly, being an extremely careful guy, if Suguru had wanted to stalk he wouldn’t have made it that obvious. Satoru was sure it was just a coincidence, that they will surely part ways soon.

Twenty minutes later, Satoru wasn’t so sure anymore. 

It wasn’t like the road didn’t split off anywhere on his way to Starbucks. No, there must have been at least five junctions to Starbucks, and Suguru was still on his tail. Satoru was beginning to suspect something, but still…maybe Suguru just had business on the same street, that’s why he’s still following him. That’s probably why, right?

Forget about it, Satoru. Suguru has his own matters, and it has nothing to do with you. 

Once he arrived on the street Starbucks was on, he set his mind to find a parking spot, eyes scanning critically for any empty spots and making sure said empty spots weren't actually taken up by a smaller vehicle. To his relief, there was not one, but two parking spaces right in front of Starbucks. Lady Luck must be smiling down on him today!

But to his absolute and utter horror, Suguru had parked right next to his car. No, not down the street and no, not a couple of spaces further either. Exactly right. Next. To. His. Car.

He took it back. Lady Luck was definitely not smiling down on him today.

When Satoru got out of his car, he tried to say energetically, “Yo, Suguru! Did you miss me so much, you had to follow me all the way here?”

Suguru’s expression was weird, almost unreadable. But if years of knowing Suguru meant anything, Satoru could tell Suguru was nervous.

Stiffly, Suguru said, “No, I was going to meet someone at Starbucks.”

“What a coincidence!” Satoru exclaimed, pretending to be shocked.

Suguru eyed him oddly, probably already seeing through his fake expressiveness. Because at this point, there was no way this was a coincidence anymore.

He could almost hear Shoko’s mocking laugh in the distance. There was nothing he could do about it, though. If anything, he had to play it cool to make sure that Suguru doesn’t suspect he was here to ramble to Shoko about his sexuality crisis.

Holding open the door to Starbucks amidst the crisp tinkling of the bell, Satoru gestured for Suguru to enter. “After you, darling.”

“Thanks,” Suguru muttered. 

When Satoru stepped into the shop, the smell of coffee instantly filled his lungs, a warm sensation blooming in chest. This shop was one of his favourites to hangout with friends at, mainly because of the soft orange lighting, the aesthetic design of the shop, the alluring aroma of coffee and instant access to sweet treats! 

He gave the shop a quick sweep for Shoko. To his surprise, instead of finding the tired surgeon, he spotted a familiar person he hadn’t seen in years. Suguru seemed to notice him too as the two of them made a beeline towards the man in a beanie.

“Haibara?” Suguru was the first to speak.

Startled, the man looked up from his phone, and it was unmistakably Haibara, their junior from high school. It didn’t take long for Haibara to recognise them either. He instantly bowed fervently while sitting down, rocking like a metronome at presto. 

 “Gojo-senpai! Geto-senpai!” he greeted, full of smiles. Unlike Geto’s default smile, which was attractive but polite and forced, Haibara’s was bright and genuine like a beam of sunshine. 

“Hey heyyy Haibara!” Satoru locked Haibara’s head in between his arm, ruffling his beanie. “Long time no see!”

“Satoru…” Suguru sighed exasperatedly at his antics. Turning to Haibara, he continued, “It’s nice to see you again too, Haibara. What are you doing here?”

After laughing off Satoru’s greeting at him, Haibara gestured for them both to sit down while explaining animatedly, “Actually, I’ve been expecting you two. I know you two were expecting to meet with Ieiri-senpai today, but she asked me to come in instead! Said it would be a good opportunity to catch up.”

Satoru barked a laugh. “How smart of her! As expected of Shoko.”

As if. Shoko definitely planned this out to expose Satoru’s crisis towards not just Haibara but Suguru, the reason of his crisis! He should have expected this to happen, but knowing Shoko, she could pull this again and again and Satoru wouldn’t even see it coming till it was too late; Shoko was just that cunning.

“So how have you been, Haibara?” Suguru questioned coolly. But Satoru could tell that he was trying to avoid something too - his polite smile was more strained than usual. 

Haibara didn’t seem to realise though, as he answered, “I’ve been great, actually! Oh, me and Kento got married last year. It’s crazy how times flies-”

At the same time Suguru said, “Congratulations”, Satoru yelled, “And you didn’t invite us? I’m hurt!”

Horrified at the possible implication, Haibara quickly shook his head. Damn, he still reminded Satoru of a dog drying itself. 

“It-it wasn’t a big wedding or anything!” Haibara hurriedly defended. “Kento didn’t want it to be a big deal, so we only kept it small. We didn’t mean to exclude you guys! Sorry…”

“I was only joking, Haibara,” Satoru said gently. He didn’t mean to make Haibara sad, so he tried cheering him up by reasoning, “You were not obligated to invite us in the first place - it’s your wedding, after all! Though a wedding could have definitely used me, I’m party material!”

“You would have made a mess and you know it,” Suguru stated.

“Would not!” Satoru countered, pouting.

Haibara chuckled fondly at their playful banter. But, as if jolted with electricity, he suddenly perked up. “Oh, before I forget! Ieiri-senpai wanted me to pass along a message.”

Oh, Satoru had a bad premonition about this. Shoko was playing not just Satoru, but Haibara and Suguru, like a fiddle. Satoru’s heart began pounding madly like birds trapped in a cage as Haibara took out a piece of folded paper from his pocket and opened it. He prayed to whatever god - any god there is - that whatever is in that paper, it’s not about his sexuality crisis. 

Unaware of Satoru’s panic, Haibara cleared his throat, unfolded the paper and read, “To my two idiotic classmates, I am tired, exhausted , of hearing your bullshit 24/7. Satoru, please stop drooling over Suguru’s muscles and get a grip of yourself; you most definitely swing the other way.”

Satoru wanted to die. To think that Shoko would mercilessly expose him in front of Suguru and one of his favourite juniors. He wanted to dig a hole somewhere and bury himself, staying under the dirt for the rest of his life. He couldn’t bring himself to see what expression Suguru was making, so he just kept quiet. However, to his surprise, there was more.

“Suguru,” Haibara continued reading. “One more time I hear you obsessing over Satoru’s eyes, his glossy lips and how much you want to kiss him, I’m going to jump off a building. For god’s sake, you two, please just talk to each other.”

It took Satoru’s brain a couple of seconds of processing to register what Haibara - or Shoko - had just said. Suguru…obsessed over Satoru’s eyes and lips? And wanted to kiss him? That didn’t make sense. It was like saying that fish could fly. There was no way-

Thoughtfully frowning, Haibara put down the piece of paper. “Well, that was a bit weird. I think Shoko was drunk or something when she wrote this.”

“Yeah…that must be it…” Satoru murmured. But even then, he knew at least his part was true. Does that mean what she mentioned about Suguru was true, then? He didn’t know what to do with that information. Suguru wasn’t even arguing too, staying scarily silent.

“Oh, that totally reminds me of the gay chicken game in high school,” Haibara carried on like he hadn’t just gave a critical hit to Satoru’s sanity. “I remember when Gojo-senpai dared Geto-senpai to the game! That was so funny. I’m curious, who chickened out in the end?”

When neither Satoru nor Suguru replied, Haibara only grew confused. “The game ended, right? When did it-”

“The game never ended,” Suguru said abruptly, staring very intently on the wall beside him. 

Haibara’s mouth dramatically dropped open. He looked bewilderedly at Satoru for confirmation, but Satoru could only nod curtly. 

“Wait, but- what-” Haibara spluttered, at a loss for words. “Aren’t you guys married ? Since like, ten years ago ?”

“It’s part of the dare-” Satoru explained, but Haibara was not having it, stuck in his own world, mumbling gibberish to himself.

Crap, he thinks he broke Haibara. 

“Unbelievable,” is what Haibara finally said. “You two-”

Haibara clenched his fist, facial features contorting as he visibly struggled to pick the right words to say. Ultimately, though, he gave up and stood up. He looked like he was about to get a headache.

“Sorry Gojo-senpai, Geto-senpai, could we talk another day?”

It didn’t even need to be asked twice. Satoru wasn’t even offended that Haibara wanted to leave all of a sudden. He would too, if he was in his shoes. Thus, with a nod, Haibara left the two of them. While at first it gave him relief from not having Haibara judge them, he soon realised that Suguru was still here. Suguru who wanted to kiss him.

With that knowledge repeating itself like a mantra in his head, the atmosphere became ten times more awkward. Well, crap.

***

The moment Haibara stepped out of Starbucks, he breathed in the refreshing air, glad to be out of that suffocating situation. As Haibara made his way to his car, he dialled Ieiri-senpai, and to his surprise the call was picked up immediately. 

“So? How did it go?” came Ieiri-senpai’s expectant voice.

Oh, she definitely planned this out. Haibara knew something was fishy the moment she texted him out of the blue for a favour. But then again, it was also on him for accepting her favour.

“Ieiri-senpai, you should have warned me!” Haibara groaned. It would have been better for him to not know Gojo-senpai and Geto-senpai’s situation. How was he supposed to sleep tonight?

A laugh. “Now, where’s the fun in that? So, do you agree now, to what I said?”

Haibara sighed in defeat as he opened the door to his car. “Yeah, you’re right, Ieiri-senpai. Love makes people stupid.”

Chapter Text

Unbeknownst to two individuals, a devious plot was brewing. A plan with so much risk hanging on the scales that it could either drastically improve or completely destroy their world as it is. 

Satoru realised something was off when he woke up that morning. With his eyes closed, he groped around his left for Suguru, but when his hands came up empty, he finally mustered the energy to open his eyes. 

Suguru was not by his side. His absence oddly left Satoru lonely and cold. It was a strange feeling. 

Groggily, he got out of bed, dragging his lazy legs behind him. To his bleary surprise, the children were all gathered in the dining room, munching on…treats? Deserts? Suguru was not here, though.

“Oh, you’re awake,” Nanako said through a mouthful of food.

“Morning, dad,” Tsumiki called.

At this point, Satoru’s brain has still not totally woken up yet. Without registering Nanako and Tsumiki’s greeting, he slurred, “Where’s Suguru?” 

The four children looked at each other, which made Satoru a little upset. Was he being purposely left out of something?

“Papa just went out,” Megumi answered. 

“With a woman,” Mimiko continued in a whisper.

Satoru thought for a while. Suguru didn’t have that many friends, therefore despite his muddled state, she was easy to guess.

“Shoko?” 

“No,” Megumi said flatly.

Instantly, it was like a cold bucket of water was dumped onto him and Satoru was jolted awake. Suguru? With a woman that wasn’t Shoko? Was he secretly dating a woman behind his back? Satoru’s stomach churned uncomfortably at that. But the rational part of his mind spoke: it’s not like you’re actually married, anyways. What’s wrong with Suguru dating the opposite gender like the straight man he is?

And he hated that it was right. Satoru had no business in Suguru’s love life. He never had.

It was ridiculous how he was moping over something irrelevant to him. Thinking that sleep might help, he made his depressing way back to his bedroom. God, what is wrong with him? Two weeks ago, before Yuji came to visit, he would probably be unfazed about Suguru hanging out with a woman. Actually, would he, though? This nasty feeling of a horrendous monster trying to claw its way out of his throat; would he feel it too, two weeks ago?

As if on cue, his phone blared ‘Never Gonna Give You Up’ loudly the moment he entered the room. As he made his way over to the bedside table where his phone was, he wondered who was calling him so early in the day.

Upon seeing the caller’s name, he cringed. He didn’t even need to be Spiderman for his senses to tingle. Shoko calling at such a timing and so early in the day can only mean disaster for Satoru.

Grudgingly picking up the call, he groaned, “It’s too early, Shoko.”

“Wanna hangout at the mall today?”

As expected, his remark was totally ignored. He wanted to refuse Shoko’s offer just to spite her, but with how down he was now, company and a change of pace by going outside would be nice to distract him. 

“Sure,” he muttered, feeling like he had just sold his soul to the devil. 

“Alright, let’s meet up in 30 minutes then.”

That was all she said before the call was hung up. Satoru rubbed his eyebrows, already feeling the incoming headache he might have to deal with later. But for now, he had to freshen himself up to go out.

Twenty minutes later, Satoru found a nice fountain at the centre of the mall to wait for Shoko. After texting Shoko his location, he sat at a bench off the side that gave a beautiful view of the fountain. The dome above the fountain was transparent, and with the sun up in the sky, it rained onto the fountain like divine light, making the water in the fountain seem to glitter. He watched as people passed by the fountain without a second thought while some stopped to take photos. Some families have even stopped by and let their children throw coins into the fountain. Satoru smiled fondly at that. It reminded him of the first time when he, Suguru and the children came here and how each of their children threw a coin into the fountain too. Back then, they were just little kids, and now…

A flash of black through the crowd made Satoru snap out of his thoughts. Was that-

He rubbed his eyes and scanned through the crowd once again. Oh, god, was he hallucinating, or was that Suguru?

Instantly, he leapt onto his feet and tried forcing his way through the crowd to Suguru. 

“Suguru-!” 

However, his voice died in his throat when he noticed a blonde woman clinging onto Suguru’s left arm. The monster in his chest which had calmed down shrieked aggrievedly. It was supposed to be him by his side, why is that woman, who is that woman-

“Yo, Satoru.”

Satoru nearly jumped out of his skin when Shoko tapped his arm. Her expression was unusually poker as she lowered her arm. 

“Do I look that scary to you?”

“N-no,” Satoru said, trying to get his hurricane of emotions under control - these ugly, twisted emotions. 

Shoko stared at him for a while, as if pondering on how to dissect his body. “Have you had breakfast?”

Deep breaths, Satoru, deep breaths. Clearing his throat, he turned towards Shoko with a smile. “No, so let’s get lunch now! I’m starving!”

He allowed Shoko the courtesy to pick the restaurant. Classic Shoko, she picked a sushi restaurant and the first thing she ordered was sake. 

As the waitress took away their menus, Satoru wondered aloud, “I don’t get what’s so appealing about sake.”

“It’s not my fault that you have such bad tolerance for alcohol,” Shoko quipped instantly. “Maybe if you had a better tolerance, you might be able to understand.”

She didn’t even bat an eye at him, simply taking out her phone and started scrolling through something apparently more interesting than him, the great Gojo Satoru.

Satoru huffed. If she wasn’t going to talk to him, then neither will he. He wasn’t in such a good mood now, anyway. But the moment he stopped thinking about the present, the creature within him stirred again, and he found himself overthinking and worrying over what was happening to Suguru right now. Half of him wanted to ditch Shoko to find Suguru, but the part of him that was Suguru’s friend tied him to his seat. Even if categorising himself as Suguru’s friend was equivalent to driving a stake to his heart.

In an attempt to distract himself, he observed his surroundings, trying to find something that was interesting. However, that was a giant mistake on his part. It might have been better if he had stuck to overthinking, because it was now that he noticed that a couple of tables away from him was, unmistakably, Suguru and the blonde woman. 

His breath hitched. No, no, he must not intrude on their date. He hurriedly averted his eyes, unconsciously sinking into his seat. Shoko, sitting opposite Satoru, noticed this with a quick glance, but pretended that she didn’t see anything.

After a few seconds of uncomfortable silence, Satoru leaned across the table and whispered to Shoko with a grimace, “Shoko, um, I’m suddenly craving for some sweets. Could we change restaurants?”

Finally, Shoko set down her phone and looked him dead in the eye. “We’ve already ordered, though.”

“We can just cancel it,” Satoru whined.

“What if they already prepared the order? Who’s going to eat it, then?” 

“You just want your stupid sake, don’t you?” Satoru harrumphed, sitting back in his seat. “Fine, if they already prepared it, we can just tell them we want it as takeout and come back for it later.”

Shoko sighed. This man…it’s obvious he was desperate to get out of here, what’s with how restless and insistent he was. 

“Alright, but you’ll be paying the bill.”

“Yes! Thanks, Shoko!” 

There was no need for him to say thanks, considering that he was the one paying, but Shoko knew all too well what he was thinking and simply accepted the thanks. Satoru hopped off, informing the restaurant that they would come back later for their food. Meanwhile, Shoko made eye contact with the blonde woman who was with Suguru.

Shoko gave a brief nod while the woman simply grinned before carrying on her conversation with Suguru. As Shoko stood up, she couldn’t help but a smile to herself. If only Satoru stared longer, he might have noticed that the atmosphere of Suguru’s table was not romantic at all, what’s with how Suguru was acting extremely edgy. 

Well, that was one chance missed, but it’s alright. There were plenty of opportunities up ahead, after all.

Chapter Text

The day out at the mall was supposed to distract him. However, it seemed that no matter where he went in this giant mall, Suguru was always nearby with that blonde woman, whether it be in the next aisle in the supermarket, the toilet he was about to enter or waiting in line in the candy shop. Satoru was sure that Suguru had not noticed them yet, and neither did Shoko notice him. It must be some kind of sick prank by god. Why can’t Satoru seem to escape Suguru? Was he cursed, by any chance?

On any other day, seeing Suguru was not something Satoru would get distressed about. No, Suguru was not the issue, but it was the woman he was with. Every single time Satoru saw them together, they’d be engaged in some romantic act that made it no doubt to any passersby that they were dating (or worse, married). They didn’t even try to hide it either. Satoru had caught the two of them holding hands, hugging, flirting and even feeding each other! The expected reaction was disgust, but there was also a part of him that screamed at the injustice of the situation. 

It should be me, not you!

Who are you?!

Stay away from-

Satoru shook his head as he gripped the cup of juice he bought.

Get a grip on yourself, Satoru , he chided himself. This is not like you.

Him and Shoko were currently at the fountain where they’d first met up. Satoru had wanted some place to calm down and instantly thought of this place. Both of them were sitting on a bench, Shoko texting on her phone while Satoru stared soundlessly at the sparkling fountain.

While his emotions were something he found easily quellable, just like screwing a jar shut, it was extremely difficult this time. The first few times he saw Suguru with that woman he was fine. A spike in fury, but he can instantly reign that in in a couple of seconds. But the more he saw them acting lovey-dovey, the more his blood boiled, and the longer it lasted. He let out a brittle laugh. He’s such a pathetic friend. He knew he should not be feeling this way, and it was taking all his willpower to stay sane. 

Why is he suffering so much just from seeing Suguru with a woman?

A light tap on his arm. Satoru looked up to find Shoko pointing at something ahead of them. Following her gaze, his heart dropped, realising that with their backs to them, on a bench on the other side of the fountain, was none other than Suguru and his woman. 

“Isn’t that your husband, Satoru?” 

“Shut up,” Satoru gritted out. The poor cup in his hands was crushed, juice spilling out of the lid, the cold liquid trickling down Satoru’s hand. He couldn’t take it anymore. If he sees anymore, he won’t be able to-

A soft gasp from Shoko made Satoru snap up just in time to see the woman leaning forwards to kiss Suguru’s lips. Suguru, who was his husband. Suguru, who was his treasure. Suguru, who was his love . 

And that was Satoru’s final straw.

Within a few strides, he was behind the couple, ready to wrench them apart by any means necessary. However, before he could act, the woman leaned back, away from Suguru’s lips. Wait, no, she wasn’t leaning back - Suguru had pushed her away.

“What is your problem ?” Suguru growled angrily, voice edging on shouting.

His tone startled Satoru. Why was Suguru scolding his partner for kissing him? Isn’t that what a normal couple would do-?

When the blonde woman didn’t react, Suguru frustratedly rubbed his eyebrows, unable to even look at her. “Look, I don’t know what Haibara said, but I am not looking for a partner. I’m married. Me, you - we cannot be a thing, even if you’re Haibara’s friend. And if what you’re feeling is genuine, then I’m sorry I can’t reciprocate your feelings; I already have someone I love. So please, stop trying to make a move on me already.”

Hearing all that, Satoru stood dumbfounded, unable to move a single muscle as his brain slowly processed everything Suguru said. The two of them were not dating…the flirting was one-sided…Suguru was upset…and…and-

The woman lifted her face and, to both Suguru and Satoru’s visible surprise, they found her smirking smugly.

 “Looks like my task is done,” she said nonchalantly, tucking a loose lock of blonde behind her ear. Turning to Satoru, she waved. “Hello, Gojo.”

With a start, Suguru whipped around, eyes widening to the size of saucers upon them landing on Satoru. 

A voice from beside Satoru, Shoko’s, said, “Nice job, Tsukumo.”

Satoru turned to Shoko. “Tsukumo? You know her?”

“Oh, yeah, we’re friends.” Shoko shrugged, as if it was obvious.

Suguru was speechless. He clicked his tongue and stood up. “So it was just an intricate plan by you lot, huh. Lemme guess, Haibara and Nanami were in on it too.”

“Bingo.” Tsukumo finger-gunned, adding a wink to the mix too.

Satoru could see the barely restrained anger as Suguru seethed, “And what was the entire point of this? Watching me act like a fool? Or,” he shot a murderous glare at Satoru, “are you testing my loyalty?”

Satoru wanted to tell him that he had no part to play in this at all. He didn’t know anything about this. He was a victim too. But he knew that the Suguru now would not believe him. So he decided to come clean in the most blunt way possible.

The purpose of this entire plan was-

“I love you, Suguru.” 

Suguru paused. As did Shoko, Tsukumo, and some passersby in the vicinity.

“I don’t want to lose you to anyone. It’s stupid and contradictory, I know. I said I’m straight, but these feelings I have for you say otherwise. I just…never thought I felt for you so deeply. I always thought it was normal. But you- I-” 

Taking in a shuddering breath, Satoru declared, “I can’t stand to lose you to someone else!”

It was then Satoru noticed that he was made the centre of attention. Everyone was looking at him, dozens of hawk-like eyes staring straight into his soul. When he remembered what he had said, the embarrassment started sinking in and he had half a mind to run. 

But no, he will not. For Suguru’s sake, he will stay and listen to what he has to say before he bolts. 

For the longest time, Suguru’s lips quivered before he pursed them. Much to Satoru’s shock, tears, oh-so-many tears, followed after that.

“Schoopid Satoru…I lorb you too,” Suguru garbled through shaky breaths. “Eba since a log time ago. I’ve always lorbed you.”

For the first time today, relief flooded Satoru’s senses. Moving towards Suguru, he held the man in his embrace and patted his head, hoping to comfort Suguru through physical contact.

“I’m sorry it took me this long to notice,” Satoru whispered quietly. Words for only the two of them to hear. The two of them, and no one else. 

Suguru nodded against his shoulder. Satoru took it that he accepted his apology and sighed to himself. This…this wasn’t so bad, after all. The world could end now, and he would be happy.

“Ah! Gojo-san, Geto-san, what a coincidence!” 

The four of them jumped at the voice of one Itadori Yuji. Behind him was a dark-haired man with equally dark eyebags. 

Crap, this wasn’t a very good scene for little Yuji to stumble upon. Thankfully, Suguru recovered quickly, using Satoru’s own shirt as a tissue much to Satoru’s yelping.

“Hello, Yuji,” Suguru said in that polite smile of his. Albeit his expression was a little off, what’s with how puffy and red his eyes were.

“Oh, great, you guys know each other.” Tsukumo clapped her hands together. “Guess that’ll make it easier!”

Puzzled, Yuji tilted his head to the side. “Make what easier?”

“The explanation part, of course! Satoru, Suguru, Shoko, meet Choso, my husband, and his little brother, Yuji! Choso, Yuji, this is Shoko, the mastermind, and Satoru and Suguru, the fake gay couple! Although, I’m sure it’s not fake anymore,” she added with a mischievous smile. 

Satoru’s mouth fell open. He pointed his finger at Tsukumo, then at Choso, then at Suguru. 

“You guys made a married woman flirt with a married man ?”

Shoko interjected, “That was the effort necessary to make you realise your own stupid feelings, beanpole. And before you ask, Tsukumo herself agreed to do it. So shut up.”

Despite scratching the back of his head in confusion, Yuji said enthusiastically, “I don’t really get what’s happening here, but I’m happy for you, Gojo-san, Geto-san! Eh, wait, they’ve technically been married for ten years, is it weird to say that?” 

“No,” Shoko and Tsukumo echoed in unison.

“Thank you, Yuji,” Suguru smiled warmly. A genuine one, this time. 

“We’ll be sure to invite you to the wedding again, if we’re hosting one again,” Satoru chuckled, pulling Suguru closer to his side.

Yuji nodded fervently, appearing more excited than anyone else. “I would be honoured! Ah, by the way, can I share the news with Megumi? Pretty please?” 

“Of course,” Satoru hummed. “We’re going to tell the kids the happy news anyway, won’t we, Suguru-chan?”

Suguru deadpanned, “Call me Suguru-chan again and I will make sure you will never get sweets for a year.”

“Meanie!” Satoru pouted. 

The bunch of them laughed. All in all, everyone was glad everything worked out. 

Once Satoru and Suguru got home, they received exasperated ‘finally’s from Nanako and Mimiko, a thumbs up from Tsumiki and a nod from Megumi. Without needing to say anything, they figured Megumi had already spread the news after being informed by Yuji. 

Sheepishly, Satoru thought to himself, ‘so the kids knew this the entire time, huh ?’

Later on, they thanked Haibara and Nanami personally for helping them and for the desserts, which Nanami had bought from overseas while he was at work. Even if it had been used as a bargaining chip for Suguru to spend a few lousy hours with Tsukumo.

“It’s a small price to pay for your happiness, really-” Haibara had chuckled, while Nanami muttered something incomprehensible. Satoru caught the words 'unbelievable’ and ‘atrocity’ and decided not to ask about it.

A few days later, when the dust had settled at last, Satoru and Suguru had a night to themselves. While the children were asleep, they both opened a bottle of cocktail (sweet, because otherwise Satoru wouldn’t even take a sip of it) and drank to celebrate their newfound marriage. Despite having been married for ten years and already integrating their lives together with an established routine, the present felt new and fresh ever since they became official. 

Satoru groaned. It had been half an hour since they started drinking, and while mild, he could already feel his head pounding from the alcohol.

“Heh.”

With the glass of cocktail lifted halfway to his lips, Suguru frowned. “What’s so funny?”

“I just remembered about the dare…” Satoru said wistfully. 

“Oh, that. Well, good thing you remember, because I can rub it in that you’ve lost a bet, chicken,” Suguru stated matter-of-factly as he sipped his cocktail. He was barely affected by the alcohol at all; not even his cheeks were red. Whereas Satoru was sure his were with how hot they felt. 

Satoru rolled his eyes. “Says Mr. I Lorbed You Since A Log Time Ago. You clearly lost here.”

This time, Suguru flushed; not from the alcohol, but from embarrassment. “Can we not talk about…that.”

Satoru smirked. “Oh, I’m never gonna let you live it down, crybaby.”

Suguru sighed. He was never going to win, not with that moment of vulnerability up Satoru’s sleeve, was he? Despite all this, he smiled softly, reaching a hand out to gently cup Satoru, his husband’s, face. 

Satoru was about to protest, but it died on his lips as Suguru murmured tenderly, “If it means being able to be by your side for the rest of my life, I won’t mind.”