Actions

Work Header

Rating:
Archive Warning:
Category:
Fandom:
Relationships:
Characters:
Additional Tags:
Language:
English
Collections:
✨🦉Wan Shi Tong's Library🦉✨, FreakingAmazingFics, gayee's dc favs, I liked these fics and I finished them
Stats:
Published:
2022-09-18
Completed:
2022-09-18
Words:
2,846
Chapters:
6/6
Comments:
183
Kudos:
2,041
Bookmarks:
387
Hits:
9,452

Let's get crackin'

Summary:

This is a silly little story told via AO3 emails and text messages, based on that one tumblr post which was like "what if Jason had an AO3 account with a 300k long Pride and Prejudice fanfic" and I went "well what if Helicopter Parent Bruce was subscribed to it and that's how he found out Jason was alive?"

aka the excuse to figure out how to mimic an AO3 email in skinform

Notes:

[EDIT 14th May 2024: nooooo FUCK the images broke and no one thought to tell me?? discord fucking everything over for real 😩 bear with me while I figure out which images exactly those were o7]

 

This was genuinely created during a random period of "i wonder if i could use html and css to mimic an AO3 email" which then spiralled into "well now that i have so much already, might as well-" 😂

Honestly tho, the only reason i am posting this is bc i went to my main page today and what do i see? "Drafts (1)" and i'm like, since when do i have a draft?

And then i open it and OH right i was doing that code thing! On august 19th. It's September 18th. AO3 only keeps drafts for a month. POSTING NOW

It is in no way shape or form finished, but it's crack with pretty much no plot, so it should be fine. Might come back later and add some stuff (if any of you want to drop ideas, i might use those, collaborative crack is my favourite genre)

without further ado, enjoy this silly little thing i made just to see if i could <3

(See the end of the work for other works inspired by this one.)

Chapter 1

Chapter Text

Gentlemans_son posted a new chapter of Angry people are not always wise (301583 words):

Chapter 132: No chapter, just update (5039 words)
by Gentlemans_son

Chapter Summary:

sorry for dropping off the face of the earth for the past, like, 4 years, but i promise i had a really good reason!

it's going to sound crazy but i promise i'm not lying

so y'all know i'm a gothamite, right? and we've got this crazy clown here, and every time he gets out of the asylum, he goes off to murder someone.

turns out it was my turn ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

but dw i got better! i kind of wandered the streets for a while (oh, yeah, cuz i kinda had to crawl out of my grave? it took me like half a year to come back to be fair, you can't just keep the body of your dead kid around for that long) but then a nice (for a given value of "nice") lady kidnapped me and made me not be catatonic anymore, but it came at the price of this green fog constnatly fogging my brain so it took a while to remember my ao3 password

but I'm back now!

i kind of lost my notebook where i plotted out this fic. Like, I know where it should be (back in my room), but dad adopted another kid while i was gone so they probably threw everything out to make space for the new perfect kid. no i'm not salty shut up

and my memory's not the best anymore, but I felt bad about leaving it abandoned, so. I wrote down what I could remember of the plot so you can get at least some kind of closure.

i hope you'll like it!

Chapters: 132/132
Fandom: Pride and Prejudice - Jane Austen, AUSTEN Jane - Works
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Relationships: Elizabeth Bennet/Fitzwilliam Darcy, Jane Bennet/Charles Bingley, Lizzie Bennet/William Darcy, Lydia Bennet/George Wickham, William Collins/Charlotte Lucas, Elizabeth Bennet & Jane Bennet, Mr. Bennet/Mrs. Bennet (Pride and Prejudice), Fitzwilliam Darcy & Georgiana Darcy
Characters: Elizabeth Bennet, Fitzwilliam Darcy, Jane Bennet, Charles Bingley, Georgiana Darcy, Lydia Bennet, Caroline Bingley, Mrs. Bennet (Pride and Prejudice), Colonel Fitzwilliam (Pride and Prejudice), Mary Bennet
Additional Tags: Romance, Fluff, Regency, Humor, Angst, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, my story now, because i've read this hundredths of times, and i want MORE, unfortunately Jane Austen's unavailable to give us more goodies, since y'know she's dead, and death's not really good for writing, so i gotta do it myself, EDIT: rotflmao, u were so right Younger Me, death is Very Not Good For Writing

Summary:

what if everything went just a little bit differently?
all my writing juices went into the actual story, i ain't gonna waste time on a summary. read or don't, matters little to me <3


You're receiving this email because you've subscribed to Angry people are not always wise. Follow the link to unsubscribe if you no longer wish to receive updates.
If you've received this message in error, please contact Support.
The Archive of Our Own is a fan-run and fan-supported archive that relies on your donations.

Chapter 2

Chapter Text



B's Angels 😇

Today

Jason's alive 1:32

Ass-tastic
u ok, b? 1:33

I Know All 👁
clearly something's wrong. tracking his location now 1:33

It's not my location you should be tracking. 1:35 1:35

I need you to find out where the AO3 user "Gentlemans_Son" is posting from. 1:37 1:37

Ass-tastic
.....b i know u miss jay but going after a random guy writing pride and prejudice fanfiction is not the way to go about it 1:39

I Know All 👁
huh. according to the subdermal tracker, B hasn't left the Cave yet, today 1:40

Snap! 📸
that's not a high bar to clear it hasn't been two hourt yet 1:40

I Know All 👁
shut 1:40

I Know All 👁
you know what i meant 1:41

The Manor. I am in my office. 1:42

I Know All 👁
....did you honestly spend the last 8 hrs reading that P&P fanfic? 1:43

Ass-tastic
right 1:43

Ass-tastic
ig i should come over 1:44

Ass-tastic
be there in 40 1:44

Good. You can help me search for him. 1:46

Ass-tastic
...ill make it 30 1:46

Chapter 3

Notes:

the thing is i don't know if the sub-chapters also only keep for a month, so i'm posting all i have so far just to make sure i don't lose them, the coding was a pain

Chapter Text



B's Angels 😇

Today

Snap! 📸
huh 2:12

Snap! 📸
i think jason IS alive 2:13

Ass-tastic
honestly timmy 2:15

Ass-tastic
dont encourage him 2:16

Snap! 📸
note to self: dont go to dick if you need someone to take a leap of faith 2:17

I Know All 👁
Timothy. 2:18

Snap! 📸
what am i wrond? 2:18

Tim. What did you find? 1:37 2:20

Snap! 📸 shared their location

Snap! 📸
i got the location and since it was near to where i was patrolling i went to check it out 2:21

Snap! 📸
the window wasnt covered 2:21

Snap! 📸
he looks like jason would if he was never malnourished and also dyed some of his hair white 2:22

I Know All 👁
You know that's not enough of a proof 2:23

Snap! 📸
ok so yall would rather ignore a miracle rather than risking potntially bothering a random guy good to know 2:24

Ass-tastic
tim you know that's not it 2:25

Snap! 📸
do i? 2:25

I Know All 👁
It's not the first time B thought Jason was alive, you know 2:26

I Know All 👁
He kept seeing him on the streets for a while 2:27

Ass-tastic
then there was that hush thing,,, 2:27

Snap! 📸
hush is in prison and most shapeshifters cant hold a form when asleep 2:28

Snap! 📸
but w/e ill get some proof for ye of lil faith 2:29

Ass-tastic
tim? tim what do u mean by that 2:30

I Know All 👁
TIM DON'T 2:30

I'm leaving the BatCave. ETA 15 minutes. 2:46

Chapter 4

Chapter Text

DaddyDarcy left the following comment on Angry people are not always wise

i don't like it. 2/10. the plot twist were predictable, i could've written a better thing. definitely not worth reading the entire thing.get gud


Posted: 20XX-06-12 15:53:54 UTC

Reply to this comment
Go to the thread starting from this comment
Read all comments on Angry people are not always wise

If you've received this message in error, please contact Support.
The Archive of Our Own is a fan-run and fan-supported archive that relies on your donations.


BTW23March left the following comment on Angry people are not always wise

Gentlemans_Son has more talent in his pinky toe than you do in your entire body. So you're saying the plot's predictable? That's a pretty bold claim from a person whose plots seem to have holes large enough to fly an airplane through. If you could have written a better thing, then why do your works receive no more than 30 kudos? This masterpiece has had over 5000 people like it enough to leave a kudos, it earned over 100,000 hits and 500 comments. You wish you could have an ounce of the talent Gentlemans_Son has. If Jane Austen was alive still, she would have approved of it. The same cannot be said about you, who seems to have completely missed the entire point of Pride and Prejudice.

Posted: 20XX-06-12 16:13:35 UTC

Reply to this comment
Go to the thread starting from this comment
Go to the thread to which this comment belongs
Read all comments on Angry people are not always wise

If you've received this message in error, please contact Support.
The Archive of Our Own is a fan-run and fan-supported archive that relies on your donations.


DaddyDarcy left the following comment on Angry people are not always wise

jesus dude take a chill pill. what hapened to freedom of speech?


Posted: 20XX-06-13 14:23:22 UTC

Reply to this comment
Go to the thread starting from this comment
Go to the thread to which this comment belongs
Read all comments on Angry people are not always wise

If you've received this message in error, please contact Support.
The Archive of Our Own is a fan-run and fan-supported archive that relies on your donations.


BTW23March left the following comment on Angry people are not always wise

Freedom of speech allowed you to share your idiotic thoughts in the first place. It protects you from government censorship; It does not protect you from me.

Posted: 20XX-06-13 16:34:37 UTC

Reply to this comment
Go to the thread starting from this comment
Go to the thread to which this comment belongs
Read all comments on Angry people are not always wise

If you've received this message in error, please contact Support.
The Archive of Our Own is a fan-run and fan-supported archive that relies on your donations.


DaddyDarcy left the following comment on Angry people are not always wise

ok batman-wannabe


Posted: 20XX-06-13 17:45:23 UTC

Reply to this comment
Go to the thread starting from this comment
Go to the thread to which this comment belongs
Read all comments on Angry people are not always wise

If you've received this message in error, please contact Support.
The Archive of Our Own is a fan-run and fan-supported archive that relies on your donations.


BennetDeservedBetter left the following comment on Angry people are not always wise

WOW!! i can't believe you updated!!!! i've read this story like, a year ago (i forgot to check the completion status lsghalf) and i really really thought that was it. i came to terms with the fact i'd never know how it ended 😔 but now you updated!!!!! thank you so so so much for giving us the clusere!!

uh, sorry you died? idk how serious that author's note was, and either way, Gotham's so weird this might as well happen lmao but anycase glad you got better 💛

Posted: 20XX-08-17 00:27:34 UTC

Reply to this comment
Go to the thread starting from this comment
Read all comments on Angry people are not always wise

If you've received this message in error, please contact Support.
The Archive of Our Own is a fan-run and fan-supported archive that relies on your donations.


BTW23March left the following comment on Angry people are not always wise

We didn't throw out anything. I didn't adopt another kid. He only comes over for an internship and, if he has to stay over, it's in a guest room.
Please come home, Jay.


Posted: 20XX-08-17 01:54:27 UTC

Reply to this comment
Go to the thread starting from this comment
Read all comments on Angry people are not always wise

If you've received this message in error, please contact Support.
The Archive of Our Own is a fan-run and fan-supported archive that relies on your donations.

Chapter 5

Chapter Text



The Cool Kids 😎

Today Snap! 📸 added J to the chat Snap! 📸 changed J's nickname to Not Dead

Not Dead
fucking- I told you not to add me! 2:35

assuming id listn to you was your third mistake 2:36

Ass-tastic
tim. is this who i think it is. 2:37

Not Dead
what was the second one? 2:37

Ass-tastic
tim. 2:37

protesting 2:38

Ass-tastic
did you add red bloody hood to our vigilante group chat. 2:38

Not Dead
...do i want to know what the first was 2:39

Ass-tastic
tim stop ignoring me 2:39

not coming home 2:39

I Know All 👁
I'm making B give you a refresher on all the protocols, since this is mostly his fault 2:40

Not Dead
ooooh we're blaming B? maybe joining this groupchat hasn't been such a bad idea 2:41

ofc it's not a bad idea, i came up with it 2:41

Ass-tastic
bc we all know all ur ideas r good 2:42

glad you agree 2:43

Not Dead
That's a bold thing to say Mr I'll Eat Cereals For Breakfast, Lunch and Dinner 2:43

Ass-tastic
red hood knows my dietetary habits. great. i am not freaked out at all 2:44

I Know All 👁
You could have at least tried denying it... 2:45

Ass-tastic
y? 2:45

well for one 2:45

@Pennyworth 2:46

Not Dead
LMAOOOOOO 2:46

Ass-tastic
uh oh 2:46

Pennyworth
Master Richard. 2:47

Ass-tastic
,,,sorry Alfred 2:47

Pennyworth
I shall prepare some frozen meals for you. 2:47

Ass-tastic
okay Alfred 2:48

Ass-tastic
thank you 2:48

hey Mr Pennyworth guess what 2:48

Jason's back 2:48

Not Dead
...If you gave Alfie a heart attack, you are going to regret sitting this close 2:53

I Know All 👁
I've never thought I'd agree with a drug lord, but I'll make an exception for Alfred's wellbeing 2:54

Pennyworth
I'd rather you not threaten Master Timothy on my behalf 2:56

Pennyworth
I was merely catching up on the rest of the conversation 2:56

Pennyworth
Master Jason, I believe you owe 52 dollars for the Swear Jar when you next come by the Manor. 2:57

Not Dead
52 dollars????? i swore once! 2:58

Mr Pennyworth kept rising the prices cuz B wouldn't stop swearing 2:59

Not Dead
B? Swearing? The H- happened to him? 2:59

I Know All 👁
You died. 3:00

Not Dead
oh 3:01

Not Dead
SHITs/fljahsfgjkbasfgkawr 3:01

Pennyworth
That'll be an extra 10 dollars. 3:02

Chapter 6

Chapter Text



B's Angels 😇

Today

tim can u send ur location again 3:04

ive been running around for like an hour and i can't find you 3:04

Snap! 📸
oh, you passed me by like 10 minutes ago 3:06

why didnt u say anything??? 3:06

Snap! 📸
you looked like you knew where you were going 3:07

I Know All 👁
What happened to Red Hood? 3:08

Snap! 📸
B came over 3:09

Snap! 📸
crashed thru the window, even tho the one right next to it was wide open 3:09

that doesnt explain y jays gone 3:10

did B crush him into a pancake or sth 3:11

Snap! 📸
nah 3:11

Snap! 📸
they took a page outa your book and went on a merry chase round gotham 3:12

no wonder i cant find them 3:13

I Know All 👁
You keep just barely missing them 3:13

I Know All 👁
It's hilarious to watch 3:14

im so happy my suffering entertains you 3:15

Tall Dark and Broody
I lost him. 3:17

Snap! 📸
no problem 3:17



Snap! 📸 added J to the chat Snap! 📸 changed J's nickname to Not Dead

Not Dead
zero originality 3:19

Snap! 📸
says the second robin who is currently running around under joker's old name 3:19

Not Dead
...touche 3:20


Tall Dark and Broody changed Not Dead's nickname to JayLad

JayLad
NOPE 3:20


JayLad left the chat Snap! 📸 added JayLad to the chat JayLad left the chat Snap! 📸 added JayLad to the chat JayLad left the chat Snap! 📸 added JayLad to the chat

Snap! 📸
stop leaving gdmnt 3:23

JayLad
stop adding me 3:24

Snap! 📸
i wouldnt have to if you stayed in! 3:24

Tall Dark and Broody
I'm glad to see you are getting along. 3:25

and on todays episode of "is b delusional or sarcastic" 3:26

I Know All 👁
Does B even know what sarcasm is? 3:26

JayLad
well 3:27

JayLad
when he's batman? no bc it pisses off the criminals 3:27

JayLad
when he's brucie? no bc it pisses off the other rich people 3:24

JayLad
when he's b? no bc it pisses us off 3:24

im convinced. jay cmere 3:26

JayLad
keep your octopus limbs far away from me dickhead 3:24

cmonnnnnn jay 3:26

where are uuuuu 3:26

JayLad
no! 3:24


I Know All 👁 shared a location

ily babs 3:26