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Summary
Roughness was necessary between them. Andrew deserved this. He deserved Neil. That panic rising at the back of Neil’s heart wasn’t panic, it was the devil's cocktail and it was just as dangerous as it was delicious.
"Neil," Andrew said.
He could hear his blood pulsing in his ears. Somewhere, somewhere along the line, someone had hit him, and a few more times and a few more times after that and slowly, something got knocked loose. Did Neil like this, or did he convince himself he wanted it because to survive, he needed to contort his mind? To love, he had to be damaged.
“No,” he said.
...
It's not yes. Not this time.