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“Sooyoung-ah, it’s been long enough. You know that we’ll eventually have to pull the plug, right?” Lee Seolhwa’s voice was stern but sorrowful. The woman’s face had slight wrinkles now, no longer as smooth as it was when the scenarios started 30 years ago. “Do you think he would have wanted to live this long on life support? You know that he would rather die.”
Sooyoung remained silent. Her hair extended to her waist as she had sworn to herself that she wouldn’t cut her hair until the day the stupid squid woke up. Although there was a whispering voice telling her that he would never wake up, she refused to listen to it. She looked at the doctor, before panning her gaze to a figure that was sitting next to a hospital bed.
He wasn’t a lonely man – he had his nebula to make up for the loneliness, but who knows how much longer this nebula he co-founded would last? Even now, the only people who have come to visit the man in the hospital bed were him, Han Sooyoung, and her wife, Yoo Sangah. Of course, Lee Seolhwa visits too, but she couldn’t stay for long. She was a doctor, and they’re often busy. She couldn’t spend much time with him either, but this lonely man was able to tell.
Lee Seolhwa is slowly giving up on Kim Dokja too, just like the rest of Kim Dokja’s Company. They’ve all grown tired of waiting for him to wake up, and sooner or later, the man knows that Han Sooyoung and Yoo Sangah will follow suit.
Han Sooyoung knows that the former regressor was thinking all these thoughts. She had stuck around with him for as long as Kim Dokja had, if not longer. The woman made up her mind and thanked Seolhwa, before walking toward the lonely man.
“Joonghyuk-ah.”
He didn’t respond.
“Oi, Joonghyuk-ah,” Sooyoung kept calling him out. “The doctors—“
“No.”
Han Sooyoung, age 66, stared at the back of the former regressor who was seated next to a certain reader. How many times has she seen this exact setup? The once-dependable back faced the writer, his breathing slow and steady. Upon closer look, his head was almost fully covered with gray hair, even though he was around Sooyoung’s age and Sooyoung had less gray hair.
The writer frowned. “Joonghyuk-ah, we’re not getting any younger, you know that. We have to let him go.”
And as usual, he stayed silent as an answer. Nonetheless, Han Sooyoung continued. “And we know better than anyone that he would rather die than continue living through life support.”
Han Sooyoung was right, he knew that. But the idea of letting Kim Dokja go for the last time scared him. It meant that this was his last time seeing his star, and he wasn’t ready to let go, even if he had seen his face every day for the last 30 years. Yoo Joonghyuk felt the fear that he felt at the end of the 10th scenario once again, except this feeling would be eternal, and Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t prepared to experience such an emotion once and for all.
The man turned a little to face Han Sooyoung. “Give me… a week, and we’ll pull the plug.”
And who was she to refuse? He wasn’t the only one afraid to let go, and not only that, but she had to inform everyone else of the decision even if they didn’t care about Kim Dokja any longer.
“Sorry Ma’am and Sir, but visiting hours are over. You may come back again tomorrow,” a nurse interrupted Sooyoung’s thoughts.
“Joonghyuk-ah,” Sooyoung touched the man’s shoulder. “They’ll pull his plug on the 3rd. Will you be okay?”
Han Sooyoung saw Yoo Joonghyuk’s body tense up before hearing a silent, “yeah.”
— — — —
For a week since that conversation, Yoo Joonghyuk continued his visits, heart growing heavier each passing day. KimCom was informed of the decision, and they all planned a proper funeral for Kim Dokja. Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t bother to respond to the messages in the group chat, it was how he had always been anyway, but the group didn’t take it to heart. They understood that this moment was tough for him, if not tougher.
On the last day of Kim Dokja’s life, Lee Gilyoung, Shin Yoosung and Biyoo came to visit. The three children that Dokja took in and raised, even for a short moment, finally came to visit. Yoo Joonghyuk knows he shouldn’t feel this way, but he felt a slight anger that these three only decided to come visit their ‘adoptive father’ on the last day of his life. As much as he understood how busy they were with their own personal life now, it was still heart-breaking to see his companion’s children not making time for him to visit him once in a while.
Yoo Joonghyuk sat at the side, silently listening to the children talking about their lives, before they started sobbing and begging for forgiveness from the man dying on the hospital bed. He huffed, knowing that they would now forever live with that guilt in their lives.
Soon, Lee Jihye came along with Jung Heewon and Lee Hyunsung. The three of them didn’t particularly say anything much, just silently greeting Kim Dokja. Jung Heewon started first, apologizing for not being able to save the world she wished to save. To anyone hearing her words, they would be confused. Earth was free now, but her heart was still heavy and rambunctious, knowing that the world that provided her the most safety was now going to leave her forever.
Lee Jihye was silent, unsure of how to convey her words, whereas Lee Hyunsung could only hold Kim Dokja’s pale and frail hands carefully. Yoo Joonghyuk almost didn’t catch it, but the former soldier said, in the softest voice. “Dokja-ssi, I’m sorry, and thank you.” Although not many words were said, that phrase alone probably meant a lot more to Hyunsung and Dokja.
“Full house for the first time in a while, huh?” Han Sooyoung’s snarky voice was heard as she entered the room. Even till the end, she still remained herself. If Dokja was awake, he would have probably smiled gently at her, or returned with a sarcastic response too. It would probably be the latter, knowing the two of them.
But no matter how long Yoo Joonghyuk waited, there wasn’t a sarcastic response, nor was there a smile on the patient’s face. And Yoo Joonghyuk felt his heart sink deeper than it already had, knowing that he wasn’t ever going to see Kim Dokja’s stupid smile again.
Han Sooyoung and Yoo Sangah’s presence made the atmosphere in the room slightly less tense. At one point, Han Sooyoung looked at the youngest three and had an expression that looked like she was reminiscing a distant memory. “Seeing those three next to him reminded me of the earlier days,” she said.
“Even after the scenarios, they’re still waiting for him,” she mumbled. However, Yoo Sangah heard it and leaned her head on her wife’s shoulder as a way of comforting her.
Since the group chat had remained silent for a long time, because none of them dared to message in fear of bothering one another, everyone in the room now took this chance to catch up. They all came to find out that Gilyoung had recently become a father, Yoosung finally opened up an animal hospital with Biyoo, Jihye ran a fencing class, Hyunsung and Heewon got back together again after years and Heewon also found and reunited with her younger brother, and Sooyoung and Sangah were now grandmothers.
And Yoo Joonghyuk only listened from afar, as if he was separated by a glass wall, unable to reach the group. He wondered to himself; “ was this how Kim Dokja felt when he had his ‘Fourth Wall’? ” He watched them as if he was an audience, unwelcomed.
Soon, the last person that needed to come had arrived. As she entered the room, everyone went silent. They knew that the time had come now, and there was no turning back. As Lee Seolhwa instructed the nurses, Yoo Joonghyuk strode forward. The nurses wanted to stop him, but Lee Seolhwa stopped them first, letting him have his moment.
Yoo Joonghyuk carefully held Kim Dokja’s hand, bringing it to his lips. He gave it a soft kiss, before slowly moving up to Dokja’s forehead. He gently caressed Dokja’s hair, before planting another kiss. He shed a tear as he said with a trembling voice, “see you soon, my star.”
As Yoo Joonghyuk stepped aside, Gilyoung, Yoosung, Biyoo and Jihye hugged him, crying with him.
Lee Seolhwa stood at the foot of the bed as the nurses turned off the life support machines one by one. As the last machine was turned off, the nurses stood next to the white-haired doctor as they waited for the heart monitor to flatline.
Beep. . . Beep. . . Beeeep. . .
“Patient Kim Dokja. Time of death,” Lee Seolhwa spoke up as she looked at her watch. “6.49pm. Date of death, 3rd August 20XX. Died of natural death.”
She then turned to the group, not making eye contact with any of them. “I’m sorry for your loss.”
Lee Seolhwa wiped her face and sniffled as she left the room, the nurses following suit. The room was filled with the sound of hitched breaths, sniffles, and tears. Lots of tears. They stayed in the room with Dokja’s corpse for an hour, afraid to officially lead a life without Dokja. All this while, they were all able to move on with their life, knowing that there was a tiny hope that Dokja would wake up, but now that he was gone for good, they felt as if there was no purpose to continue.
Especially for Yoo Joonghyuk, who had regressed over a thousand times to meet and have Kim Dokja guide him in his life again.
After the nurses wheeled Dokja's corpse out of the room, the group lingered for a moment outside the hospital hallway. Sooyoung talked with Seolhwa about the funeral plans and such, whereas Yoosung and Biyoo approached Joonghyuk.
“Joonghyuk-ssi,” Biyoo spoke. The girl who was once a dokkaebi was now permanently a human. As Yoo Joonghyuk observed her, he noticed that she looked like an exact copy of Kim Dokja. “Do you want to live with us? We can take care of you…”
Yoo Joonghyuk watched her face for a moment, before patting her head. “Mn.”
He was old and growing weak now, there was no reason for him to refuse such an offer anymore. After all, he knew that Dokja’s daughter asked such a question because he knew that she would worry about him. If he was perhaps stronger like he was in his prime time, he might have rejected the offer, but he was growing tired now. He wouldn’t mind having someone take care of him.
Biyoo smiled softly. Her eyes curved up like Dokja’s did, her smile exactly like Dokja’s unlucky smile, except she wasn’t leaving Joonghyuk. It was through her that he realised that Dokja could have smiled this warmly and meant that he was staying.
“I’ll come over to your apartment tomorrow, Joonghyuk-ssi. We can slowly pack your things and have you move in tomorrow,” Shin Yoosung said before adding on. “Also… Joonghyuk-ssi, happy birthday.”
— — — —
It has been a decade since Kim Dokja’s death. Yoo Joonghyuk had been living together with Biyoo,Yoosunf, and their pet cats for the last 10 years. A lot of people would give the two sisters a look of pity when they say that they have an elderly at home, but if they were to answer truthfully, Yoo Joonghyuk was the easiest person to take care of. He was mostly quiet and didn’t ask for so much, obedient, patient, and understanding. He only gets a little fussy when he had to go to the doctors for his monthly check up, but that was about it.
Biyoo has heard a lot of elderly horror stories from so many people, so she was internally grateful that Yoo Joonghyuk wasn’t like any of those mean elderlies.
Recently, however, Yoo Joonghyuk had become bedridden. He couldn’t move around too much, and Biyoo now had to nurse him at home. At one point of time, he apologised to Biyoo for being the reason why she had to temporarily stop her work at the animal hospital to take care of him, leaving Yoosung to work extra hours in her stead.
“Joonghyuk-ssi, it’s okay. If anything, I feel honoured to be the one to take care of you,” she responded, wiping Joonghyuk’s body down with a towel. “Remember back during the scenarios? You left the Demon Realm after waking up. Back then, Dokja-ssi waited for you to wake up. While waiting, he would help wash you just like this, changing your wounds’ dressings and such.”
Yoo Joonghyuk was silent. He had a little difficulty remembering things now, so Biyoo would occasionally tell him some memories that she knew of.
“Biyoo-ah,” he called out. The younger one looked him in the eyes. “Thank you.”
She smiled softly, “it’s no problem…”
That night, Biyoo stayed a little longer as Yoo Joonghyuk went to bed. She wouldn’t tell him why, kept saying that she just missed Dokja a little more that night and wanted company, but the truth was that she had an inkling that Joonghyuk wouldn’t be long with her.
Yoo Joonghyuk sat up on his bed, pillows supporting him. He let Biyoo lay her head on his lap as he gently caressed her hair.
“Biyoo-ah. I’m sleepy,” he said. Biyoo didn’t dare to look up, afraid that her tears would spill the moment she looked at him. “Goodnight, kid. Take care of yourself, ‘kay?”
Joonghyuk stopped caressing her hair, his breaths slowing as he closed his eyes. Soon, he stopped breathing.
Biyoo let her tears flow, sobbing her heart out as she raised her head. She looked at Yoo Joonghyuk’s face; he looked peaceful, as if he really was just sleeping. Biyoo raised his hand to her forehead, “Goodnight, Joonghyuk-ssi. Rest well.”
— — — —
Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t know how long he had been floating around this empty space. All he knew and understood in this duration was that he no longer had a body, and if he was to describe it, he felt like he was back to floating around in space to save Kim Dokja.
He was at ease, there was nothing to worry about here. He closed his eyes again, to bask in this peace. He could finally rest eternally now, no more regressing.
But why…
The moment he opened his eyes again, he was back in a physical body. What’s more, he’s wearing clothes from the 0th turn, standing in the same train cabin that started the end of the world. He looked around, heart palpating as tears welled up in his eyes.
“No…” Yoo Joonghyuk’s eyes twitched, tears threatening to fall. He doesn’t care if people were staring, he was exhausted. He couldn’t do this again, not when he had successfully ended the world’s goddamn suffering, and especially not when he had lost Kim Dokja.
Yoo Joonghyuk glanced around his cabin, before deciding to move to the next cabin.
Cabin 3807. The cabin that Kim Dokja was supposed to be in. Yoo Joonghyuk silently hoped, hoping to see a live Kim Dokja once again. He hoped and prayed to whoever he could that Kim Dokja was there.
But he was quickly disappointed as he scanned cabin 3807. He spotted a few familiar faces, but none of them were the one he was looking for. Those same familiar faces, however, were looking at him with bewildered eyes – signifying that they remembered .
Furrowing his eyebrows, he bellowed. “Where is he?” His heart was aching and he was so, so close to crying. Why was the world so cruel to him?
As every other civilians looked at Yoo Joonghyuk like he was crazy, Yoo Sangah, and Lee Hyunsung approached him. Lee Gilyoung only watched from his seat, not wanting to create trouble with his guardian with him.
“J-Joonghyuk-ssi, I don’t remember seeing him today,” Yoo Sangah spoke up. Her hands were flailing around as she tried to remember. Yoo Joonghyuk examined her face and Lee Hyunsung’s. Both of them were on the verge of tears, Yoo Sangah racking her brain as she tries to recall if Kim Dokja was ever a part of her life, whereas Lee Hyunsung was mumbling to himself, continuously asking ‘ why? ’.
Yoo Joonghyuk then panned to Lee Gilyoung, trying to see how the child was doing. And to say that the child was mortified was an understatement. He was crying silently, trying not to alert his guardian.
Yoo Joonghyuk felt a heavy weight pressing on his shoulder, the guilt he felt when he realised that they had gone through a group regression against their own will was immense. Yoo Joonghyuk fell to his knees, covering his face as he cried out, begging for forgiveness from his members.
The two other adults crouched down to pull him up when the sound of a scenario notification came and interrupted them.
⌈< FINAL SCENARIO – LAST GOODBYE >⌉
CATEGORY: —
DIFFICULTY: –
CLEAR CONDITIONS: FIND INCARNATION ‘KIM DOKJA’ TO SAY YOUR LAST GOODBYES
TIME LIMIT: –
REWARD: STOP REGRESSING ONCE AND FOR ALL
PENALTY FOR FAILURE: ETERNAL GROUP REGRESSION
“Joonghyuk-ssi… This is–”
Joonghyuk wailed, hitting his chest lightly. What a terrible condition, what a nasty penalty, such a cruel, cruel reward. All Yoo Joonghyuk asked for was to stop regressing, he only seeked for peace, so why did he have to go through this, just to never see Kim Dokja anymore? Why couldn’t there be a timeline where Kim Dokja stayed with him and the nebula for the rest of their lives? Kim Dokja, your salvation is so cruel to those who love you.
After what felt like 10 minutes had passed, Yoo Joonghyuk heard a notification from his phone. He hesitated before adjusting his eyes to his phone screen through his tears.
Han Sooyoung: is this still ur number
Han Sooyoung: i hope it is. if u’re yoo joonghyuk, meet me at minosoft. if u’re not, fuck off.
Yoo Joonghyuk collected himself in that moment, wiping away his tears and standing up. The train was stopping soon and they needed to get off to go back to where Mino Soft was. And maybe it was pure luck or coincidence, but the train opposite of theirs had just arrived at the platform too. Since it was close to a residential area, many people will be alighting.
Yoo Joonghyuk made eye contact with Lee Gilyoung, mouthing the words, “ run towards the opposite train. ” He also pointed towards the other train to make sure the young one understood him. To which he did.
“We’re going back to Mino Soft. Han Sooyoung is there, I think she might know where Dokja is,” Joonghyuk explained to the other two. They simply nodded in response.
When the doors opened, a large crowd of people headed out. Yoo Joonghyuk, Yoo Sangah and Lee Hyunsung followed the crowd. As they stepped into the train heading towards the other direction, they heard a woman shout.
“Gilyoung-ah! Where are you?!” Yoo Joonghyuk looked back and saw a child running towards him. Yoo Joonghyuk opened his arms as the boy jumped into them.
“I got you,” he said, holding the boy tight in his arms. Lee Gilyoung was sobbing uncontrollably, letting his tears flow freely now that he was with his safe haven.
“Ahjussi, hyung is.. We have to say goodbye to hyung again? Why? I thought that there was no more scenarios? Why is this happening?” The young one asked in between sniffles. Seeing him cry made the adults feel just as heartbroken as he was.
Yoo Joonghyuk tried to comfort Gilyoung by rocking and shushing him, “I don’t know either. Let’s just hope for the best, yeah?”
— — — —
When the 4 of them reached Mino Soft, they saw Han Sooyoung at the lobby with Shin Yoosung, Jung Heewon, Lee Seolhwa and Lee Jihye. They were standing and watching something in a certain direction. Yoo Joonghyuk’s group approached them, before Yoo Sangah stopped in front of them. She was following Han Sooyoung’s line of sight, so Yoo Joonghyuk did the same.
His mouth was slightly agape when he saw what they were looking at.
In a distance, there was a figure that was surrounded by a crowd that was cooing at something or someone.
“--ssi! Is that your daughter?! We didn’t know you were married!”
“--ssi, what’s your child’s name? She looks so much like you!”
Yoo Joonghyuk and co. slowly approached the crowd, not wanting to overwhelm the man in the middle.
“Ah, guys.. Please, move away. She’s a little shy around large crowds,” a familiar voice that Joonghyuk longed to hear. He teared up again as he pushed the crowd aside. The people that were pushed aside grumbled when he did so, pissed that a random stranger was pushing them away, only to see him pull the man in the middle into a hug.
Yoo Joonghyuk was at a loss for words. It really was Kim Dokja in the flesh. He was just as frail as he was when he was in the hospital in the last regression turn. Yoo Joonghyuk let out a sob, hugging the smaller man tightly, but not tight enough to choke him.
“Y-you’re alive. You’re actually here,” was all he could say. Kim Dokja only pat the bigger man’s back.
“I’m here, Joonghyuk-ah.”
Hearing his response, the rest of KimCom ran towards him and pulled him into a group hug.
“Hyung, you remember us?”
“Dokja-ssi!"
“Stupid squid bastard!”
“Ahjussi!”
“Stupid Dokja-ssi!”
The group stood there in the middle of the lobby, wailing and calling out to Dokja, causing workers to look at them weirdly. Kim Dokja didn’t mind it, though. He was back with his home, even if it was temporarily.
“Let’s go eat, yeah?” Kim Dokja suggested, to which the children happily cheered. This earned chuckles from the adults.
— — — —
“Biyoo-yah, you stopped Dokja from going home because you were scared we would go through the scenarios again?” Jung Heewon repeated the story that little Biyoo told, to which Biyoo nodded eagerly. “Good job!”
Biyoo was shorter and younger than Gilyoung and Yoosung in this new regression turn. If Joonghyuk was to guess, she was probably 5-years-old right now. “Biyoo-ah, good job. I’m proud of you,” Yoo Joonghyuk said, ruffling her hair.
Biyoo grinned widely at Joonghyuk, before gobbling down on the food.
The group was out, sitting near the Han River under the night sky. They all impulsively bought food and some picnic materials for their impromptu picnic, not caring that it was nearly too late for the minors to be out. If it meant that they could spend just one extra day with Kim Dokja, with no worries of him self-sacrificing, then they will do what it takes to make more memories with him.
Kim Dokja watched the group eat their chicken, a warm feeling settling in his heart.
He had missed them so much, but he wouldn’t ever tell them that. He wasn’t used to such a thing – admitting his feelings.
Yoo Sangah sat next to him, joining in on watching everyone have fun and talking with one another. “We missed you a lot, Dokja-ssi,” she blurted out. She was watching his side profile for a moment, before looking away. Dokja turned to look at her, only to see her eyes glisten as she looked at the night sky. “We haven’t seen the children have that much fun since the beginning of the scenarios, huh?”
Dokja was quiet for a while, before speaking up. “Sangah-ssi, what do you wish to tell me?”
Ding! There was a notification from the scenario.
⌈< FINAL SCENARIO – LAST GOODBYE >⌉
CATEGORY: —
DIFFICULTY: –
CLEAR CONDITIONS: FIND INCARNATION ‘KIM DOKJA’ TO SAY YOUR LAST GOODBYES
TIME LIMIT: 3 HOURS
REWARD: STOP REGRESSING ONCE AND FOR ALL
PENALTY FOR FAILURE: ETERNAL GROUP REGRESSION
Sangah whipped her head and looked at Dokja. “Dokja-ssi!” She expected to see a look of confusion or just some sort of a hint that he wasn’t the one behind this horrible final scenario.
But instead, she saw the stupid unlucky smile that he had when he was going to self-sacrifice again.
Someone stomped towards where Sangah and Dokja were at before Dokja was lifted up by the collar.
“Why?!” Yoo Joonghyuk shouted. He was on the verge of tears once again. “Why are you doing this to us?!” His voice broke. He was feeling so many emotions at once. He wanted to let the group regress over and over again just so they could relive good, beautiful moments with Kim Dokja. But at the same time, he didn’t want the group to go through regression depression just as he did.
So why? Kim Dokja knew best how severe regression depressions were like, so why would he do this?
“I heard your wishes. All of you wished to see me one last ti–”
“So what, you’re a fucking genie now?!” Han Sooyoung yelled, tears falling. “Kim Dokja… All we wanted was more time with you, why are you doing this to us?”
Dokja stayed quiet. He didn’t know how to answer the question. “Dokja hyung, why can’t there be a timeline where you are alive and well with us?” Gilyoung held onto Dokja’s lower half, Yoosung doing the same.
“Ahjussi, please…” The little girl cried. Biyoo joined too, wailing and begging for her father to stay.
“...I don’t have a choice. The promise I made was that I can only return for a few hours, for future regression turns,” he finally explained. “But… I don’t want you guys to suffer the pain of regressing, not when the former regressor has gone through enough of that.”
Yoo Joonghyuk covered his face, not wanting to let the group see him cry any more than he had.
“Kim Dokja…” Yoo Joonghyuk spoke. “We… won’t see you again if we succeed in this regression turn?”
Kim Dokja nodded sorrowfully. Lee Jihye beamed, desperate to spend more time with the squid ahjussi that she once disliked. “Then, we should just fai–!”
“But if you continue regressing, all of you will progressively lose memories of me.”
The silence that followed was deafening.
“Hyung…”
“Ahjussi, this is so…”
“Kim Dokja, you’re so cruel,” Jung Heewon had a straight face as her tears fell fiercely.
But Kim Dokja was unbothered by all their reactions. “Is that your last goodbye to me?” He asked with a nonchalant tone, baring his unlucky smile. “Time is running out, you know?”
And so, they all took turns saying their goodbyes to Dokja. They were all allotted 20 minutes each to tell him what they didn’t get to say, to give him the things they couldn’t give.
The first one to start was Lee Hyunsung. He pulled his legs in together, making himself look small. “Dokja-ssi, I’m going to quit the army.” His revelation was a big shocker, but Dokja didn’t try to show it.
“Why do you wish to?”
Hyunsung took a minute. “I wanted to try something new. Maybe be an instructor or something.” He curled in on himself, even more, making Dokja pat his back.
“Whatever your heart chooses, go for it. I’ll support your decision, Hyunsung-ssi.” The both of them sat there quietly before Hyunsung spoke again. “Dokja-ssi, thank you, and I’m sorry.”
Dokja replied calmly, leaning on the bigger man. “It’s okay.”
After him was Lee Jihye, starting it off cheerful. “Ahjussi! Come fence with me!” She said, pulling out two plastic swords. She was smiling brightly, an entirely different smile from the previous regression.
Dokja smiled, “someone’s happy.” Realising what he said, Dokja instantaneously felt guilty. “Sorry, I didn’t–”
“Ahjussi, it’s okay,” Jihye responded, her smile not faltering. “I hope you don’t take it to heart, ahjussi, but I want to thank you for letting us have this regression.”
‘ Oh ,’ Kim Dokja thought. He understood why the teen was happy.
“As much as I’m sad that I won’t see you again,” she started as she attacked Kim Dokja. “I’m also really eternally grateful to you. I get to be in a world where my best friend, my Na Bori, is still alive, and I get to live on and die with more memories of her.”
He wasn’t as fast as he used to be, but Dokja still managed to dodge and deflect Jihye’s attacks. Dokja smiled, letting himself lose the fight. “Sorry, Jihye-yah. I’m weaker compared to last regression, so I’m tired already.”
“Eh… No fun!” She playfully said, walking towards him. Jihye sat next to Dokja. “Ahjussi, can I ask you a question?”
“What is it?"
“I’m going to sound… Immature, naive, or stupid. But,” she trailed off. “Ahjussi, will we meet you again in the afterlife?”
Dokja stayed quiet. How was he supposed to respond to this? He didn’t know the answer to this himself, but if he lied, Jihye would be able to tell. “Who knows, kid? Maybe if you wished it enough, you’d be able to see me again in the afterlife. You should bring Na Bori along to visit me.”
Jihye looked at her feet. She pouted a little, before standing back up. “Enough resting, let’s continue fencing!”
“Eh? But–”
“Let’s go, ahjussi!” Jihye pulled the man up, before pulling him into a hug. “Just a little more, please?”
And Kim Dokja couldn’t refuse her.
Soon, Lee Jihye’s time was up, and it was Jung Heewon’s turn. Kim Dokja was panting, exhausted from Jihye’s fencing session. He asked Heewon to give him a moment to catch his breath, before he allowed Heewon to speak.
“That looked like fun. Should we fence too?” Heewon teased, earning a playful glare from Dokja.
“Try it, and I’m skipping you,” he threatened. Jung Heewon smirked, before pulling Dokja by his wrist and into her arms.
“I’ll miss you, stupid,” Heewon was rather straightforward. Kim Dokja was a little awkward with such an honest confession, but he wasn’t complaining. He returned the hug. “I’m sorry I couldn’t save you, Kim Dokja.”
At this, he felt his heart sink. He started tearing up a little but tried not to show it. Though, his voice betrayed him as he croaked. “Heewon-ssi, it’s okay. You did what you could.”
And then it was Lee Seolhwa’s turn. She sat next to him, looking up at the night sky. “Dokja-ssi, I’m sorry.” That was all she could say at that moment. She felt heavily guilty knowing that she was the one that was responsible for Kim Dokja’s ‘death’.
Dokja shook his head. “It’s alright. You were right, anyway. Thank you.”
After her, it was the children’s turn. The three young ones joined their time together so that they had more time with him. Dokja laughed as they tackled him into the ground. In the dark night, the street lights and the moon were the only things to light his children’s faces. Their eyes were puffy, having cried so much begging him to stay.
Of course, Kim Dokja felt terrible for not being able to fulfill their request, and he wishes more than anyone to be able to be with his loved ones. But the world was cruel in that sense. Kim Dokja left KimCom against their will, and now he is unable to be by their side forever.
The three children spent their time with Dokja cuddling him under the starry night sky, babbling on about their lives, pets, family, friends.
But Biyoo was the quietest. His biological daughter was going to grow up without parents, but he hoped that the one man that he can rely on would raise her up just as well as he did with his sister.
As the children’s time with Dokja was nearing its end, the four of them cuddled even closer.
“I’m going to miss you, father.”
“Hyung, I hope we can meet again in heaven.”
“Ahjussi.. Thank you for everything. I’m going to miss you.”
The three children shed tears again as Kim Dokja caressed their heads, his heart aching, before he gave them each kisses on their foreheads. “I know I don’t say this much, but I love the three of you guys, okay? Never forget that.”
The children wailed as they were brought away by Hyunsung, Heewon and Seolhwa. They threw a tantrum, not ready to be separated from their father-figure once again.
The next one was Yoo Sangah. She was a little upset at Kim Dokja, but she didn’t stay that way for long. “You know, Dokja-ssi. You were the first male I felt the most comfortable with for the first time in so long. I don’t think I ever got to tell you how thankful I am for your existence.”
Kim Dokja just listened, honoured that she felt that way with him.
“I’m really going to miss your presence and safety around work, Dokja-ssi.” For the rest of the time she had left with Dokja, she remained silent, basking in the last remaining peace that she had.
After her was Han Sooyoung. She was quiet for the first few minutes, unsure of what to say. She stared at Kim Dokja’s face for a moment, as if she wanted to imprint his face into her brain. “Stupid squid,” she said.
“Wow,” Dokja mused. “What happened to ‘hello’? ‘How have you been’? Or ‘I missed you’?”
Sooyoung clicked her tongue, before pulling him into a hug. “Stupid, bastard, idiot. I hate you so much,” her voice started to crack as she stated every insult that she could think of. She had every right to be upset at him, Dokja thought. She embraced him as if he would vanish the moment she lets go.
“You have no–” she said, hiccupping. “I wrote that to save you. I wrote it to save you, so why would you leave us? You promised to read my novel, and you did, but I didn’t ask you to sacrifice yourself, you son of a bitch.”
She wailed as Kim Dokja kept quiet. He looked around, glancing at the other group members. Each one of them was crying, and Kim Dokja was feeling the guilt swell up in his heart. He hugged Han Sooyoung back, putting his head on her shoulder, letting the tears flow freely.
“I’m sorry,” was all he could say at that moment. He knew it was cruel of him, he understands it. He’s felt this kind of abandonment from his own family before, and yet he’s doing the exact same to the people who love him. His body shook as he sobbed, repeatedly apologising.
He stayed that way with Han Sooyoung, both sobbing in each other’s arms for a while.
When they were done, they pulled apart and looked at each other. Han Sooyoung burst out laughing at Kim Dokja’s puffy eyes and snotty nose. However, Han Sooyoung didn’t know that she looked exactly the same as he did, except her hair was a mess, like tall grass being swayed in the wind.
So, Kim Dokja did the exact same, laughing at Han Sooyoung’s appearance. Their peals of laughter made the rest of the group chuckle along, feeling slight ease in their heart.
“Anyway… Thank you for everything, idiot,” Kim Dokja said after they calmed down a little. “You saved me, even if you think you didn’t. Don’t blame yourself for this final scenario.” Dokja patted Sooyoung’s hair, wiping away her leftover tears.
Sooyoung closed her eyes. “Thank you, too, for being my one and only reader.”
And finally, it was Yoo Joonghyuk’s turn.
The man approached him slowly, each step a fierce reminder that Kim Dokja will never be in his life again. Yoo Joonghyuk has regressed over a thousand times, there was no reason for him to believe in an afterlife. He didn’t know how to make the last 20 minutes he had with Dokja memorable enough for him. There was so much things he had wanted to do when there was no time limit, so many things he wanted to say.
And yet, he had to try and squeeze everything he wanted to say into 20 minutes. What an evil world. What a wicked reality.
As he approached, Kim Dokja opened up his arms. Yoo Joonghyuk had been the reason he lived as long as he did now. The least he could do when he met his saviour was to give him a hug.
And hug they did, the two of them engaging in a tight and warm embrace. Maybe the two of them had longed for this, and nobody dares to wonder how long they had wanted to do this. This hug was, in a way, very long overdue.
They stayed quiet like that for a few minutes, no words needed to be exchanged. Yoo Joonghyuk held back his tears, just like Kim Dokja is doing. The both of them basked in each other’s warmth, one trying to remember the other.
“Kim Dokja, thank you.”
“You too, Joonghyuk-ah, thank you.”
And that was the only thing that they said to each other. Their gratitude to each other too large for it to be said in proper words.
Kim Dokja buried his face into Yoo Joonghyuk’s chest as the taller one placed his chin on the shorter one’s hair. They stayed that way until Yoo Joonghyuk’s 20 minutes were up.
“Let’s get a group picture together. As a reminder that Kim Dokja was in our life,” Han Sooyoung suggested. The group instantly agreed. The children argued, trying to get a seat on Dokja’s lap. Even with such a happy-looking moment, all of them were dreading the moment that will happen after the photos were taken.
Two phones were used, one was recording a video while the other was for photos.
The children stopped arguing, deciding that Biyoo deserved to sit on Dokja’s lap. Their words were, “because Biyoo is ahjussi’s / hyung’s daughter.” Biyoo, on the other hand, giddily accepted that offer, happy to be in her father’s arms one last time.
“Ready? One, two… cheese!”
The group took a few photos in different poses, making sure that Dokja’s voice was heard. They all continuously took photos, purposely dragging the time, as if delaying the time to go would make Dokja leave later.
However…
“Ah-ahjussi, your hands–”
The adults heard Yoosung said, causing them to look his way. His hands were fading away.
“Ah.. It’s time to go,” Kim Dokja solemnly said.
“No, no, no… Please, father, just a little longer–” Biyoo wept. Slowly, Kim Dokja faded away as if the world was erasing his existence.
“If the world permits it, I’ll see you guys again in the afterlife,” Kim Dokja said to the children, stroking their heads. The children cried their lungs out, begging him to stay once again.
But it was impossible, they knew that.
All the adults that were watching ran to give Kim Dokja one last group hug. Everyone was in a mess, tears flooding their faces.
“It was a great story, wasn’t it?” Dokja asked as he started becoming only a few fragments. There was nothing to hold now, and Yoo Joonghyuk didn’t hold back his tears. He held on to whatever was left of Kim Dokja, desperately trying to remember his warmth, his voice, his face.
How terrible of him, repeating the same words that he did back in the 10th scenario. The group members cried out Dokja’s name, as if saying his name collectively would return him back to how he was.
But, no matter what they did, Kim Dokja only lived in their memories now.
Maybe in some other world-lines, Kim Dokja is living happily with the group. Maybe in some other world-lines, Kim Dokja is living a safe and wonderful life with his parents.
They watched the star in the night sky, hoping that their star was happy. Whatever it was, they all silently prayed to the bright shining star in the night sky, that Kim Dokja was happy and alive somewhere, even if they were not a part of his life.
– fin –