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‘Chief may I come in?’.
Keyleth looked up from her book, startled at the voice of her Captain of the Guard coming through the door. It was unusual for Derrig to come by this late in the evening, and his worried tone had her concerned. Grabbing the saffron shawl Pike had knitted from the armchair to cover herself, she scrambled over to the door. On opening it, she took in the image of her usually stoic captain in a state of disarray.
‘Derrig is everything alright?’, Keyleth said alarmed, ushering the weary man in, ‘Please sit yourself down, you look exhausted’.
‘Thank you, kindly ma’am, but I won’t be staying long’, Derrig held a hand out as Keyleth started to protest, ‘I came by because I need your help with something’.
‘Of course, what do you need?’.
Derrig shifted nervously, a sliver of embarrassment crossing his face, ‘It’s a bit of a delicate matter, and honestly, I didn’t want to put this on you. It was Nell who insisted I come here’.
‘Well, if Nell sent you over I’ll have to help’, Keyleth laid a hand on Derrig’s arm with a warm smile, ‘I may be the Voice of the Tempest but your wife is a force to be reckoned with’.
‘I can’t argue with you on that’, Derrig chuckled, though Keyleth could still feel the tension in his body, ‘Truth is she’s been badgering me for days, but it wasn’t until tonight that I realised what a fool I’d been’.
‘Is this about Will?’, Keyleth said gently. It had only been a month since Derrig’s son had been killed on that awful night. She knew how much it had affected Derrig and Nell, despite the pair putting a brave face on whenever she saw them. It had been especially hard for Derrig, who had led his son into the fray that killed him. Even now, he wouldn’t set foot in the place where he’d seen his son fall.
‘You always were perceptive’, Derrig sighed, ‘Before you ask, it’s not on my behalf that I’ve come’.
‘It’s not?’, Keyleth cocked her head in confusion.
‘No, it’s Orym’.
‘Orym?’, Keyleth said with surprise, as her mind conjured up the image of her personal guard. She had great affection for the halfing man, who had been her stalwart protector for many years now. Not that she needed it of course, but Orym had never hesitated to defend her. He’d been wounded in the battle that took place, injuries that had been sustained as he tried to protect the fallen body of his husband, Will. ‘I thought he was staying with his mother while he recovered?’.
Derrig rubbed the back of his neck, ‘He is, and obviously I’ve been keeping an eye on him. He was always a gentle soul and I’m afraid this took him out more than we realised’.
‘You can’t blame yourself Derrig, you’ve been grieving too’, Keyleth said sympathetically, ‘I’m sure Evelyn has been able to support her son when you can’t’.
‘Evelyn has been a support to all of us’, Derrig smiled softly, ‘If not for her I think Nell and the girls would be much worse than they are. But anyway, enough about me I’m here for Orym’, Derrig’s demeanour shifted as he got to the heart of the issue, ‘He’s gone missing’.
‘Missing!’, Keyleth cried out, ‘For how long?’.
‘Since early this afternoon. He went back home for the first time today, according to Evelyn he said he needed to pick something up. She tried to go with him, but…’.
‘But he wanted to go alone’, Keyleth finished, Derrig confirming with a nod.
‘Evelyn came to us about an hour ago and we’ve been searching everywhere but nothing’, Derrig looked to Keyleth, and she could see the worry in his eyes. She knew that Orym had become a second son to Derrig after his father left, and she couldn’t imagine what he was feeling right now.
‘Have you checked his usual haunts, I remember he used to go missing quite a lot as a child’, Keyleth ventured, though she already knew the answer.
‘We checked all of them and there’s not a sign of him’, Derrig started to pace, ‘I’ve been wracking my brains and then Nell told me to come here. She thought with your Wild Shape you could maybe scout out for him?’.
Derrig turned to her, and her heart couldn’t bear to see the desperation on his face. Ever since that night she hadn’t been able to forgive herself for not being able to save the people who had sworn to protect her. Her people. And seeing the grief in the families and community had been one of the hardest things she’d faced as a leader. She couldn’t count how many times she had replayed that night, wondering what she could have done differently. But now, she had an opportunity to help at least one family heal if she did this right.
Tossing her shawl to one side she locked eyes with Derrig as she started to picture her chosen form in her mind, ‘Of course I’ll scout, but I need you to do something for me in return’.
‘Whatever you need’, Derrig snapped to attention as new hope washed over him.
‘I need you to go home’, Keyleth shook her head firmly as Derrig started to say something, ‘I know you want to keep searching, but I need you to make sure Orym is able to come back home without being questioned by his family’.
‘I’m not sure how much I’m going to be able to do on that front’, Derrig said with a look of resignation, ‘But I’ll do my best’. Just as he was about to head out the door he turned back, ‘Thank you Keyleth, really thank you. If anyone can find my boy it’s you’, and with a sharp nod he jogged off into the darkness.
With Derrig gone, Keyleth stepped outside and with a burst of magic transformed herself into a giant eagle. With a cry she soared into the sky and started to search for the missing halfling. Before long she had flown far into the forest, and just as she was about to circle round to go back to town, she spotted him.
High up in the branches of a fir tree, Orym was sitting with his back against the trunk, fiddling with something. From this far up Keyleth couldn’t tell what it was, but that didn’t matter. Relief flooding through her she quickly descended, landing roughly as she reached the branch. Orym shot up with a start, his panic swiftly changing to horror and confusion as Keyleth shifted back into her half-elven form.
‘Chief what are…’, Orym trailed off and then quickly averted his eyes.
Keyleth suddenly realised that she was still in the nightgown she’d put on before Derrig’s unexpected arrival. In the rush to find Orym she’d completely forgotten. She could feel the heat rising in her cheeks, but she couldn’t focus on that right now. There would be plenty of time later to feel embarrassed, she had to make sure Orym was ok.
‘Orym, I’m here to take you home’, Keyleth said as she started to gingerly shuffle towards him.
At the word home, Orym’s eyes snapped to her in confusion, ‘Home?’.
‘Yes, your family has been worried about you’, Keyleth said softly, ‘I’ve just had Derrig banging on my door to come find you’.
‘He shouldn’t have done that,’ Orym looked mortified, ‘I was going to come back soon’.
Keyleth chuckled, ‘I’m sure you were, but you can’t blame them for being worried’.
‘I guess not’.
Silence fell, the low whistling of the wind and rustling of leaves the only accompaniment to their conversation.
‘How did you do it?’, Orym’s voice was so low, Keyleth barely heard it.
‘Do what?’, she replied curiously.
As she waited for an answer, Keyleth’s eyes were drawn to Orym’s hands as he started to fiddle with the object she hadn’t been able to see before. Now she was closer, she could see it was a small wooden sculpture of a dog. It was very simple, but she could see it had been made with love.
‘How did you survive after your…’.
‘After Vax died?’, Keyleth finished as Orym’s voice faltered.
Orym nodded mutely, the little wooden dog spinning faster now.
‘You know I honestly couldn’t tell you how I did it’, Keyleth stared off to the horizon as she answered carefully, ‘At first, I did everything I could to shove the grief away. I didn’t want to deal with it, couldn’t deal with it, so I did all I could to fill my time so I didn’t have to think about it’.
Keyleth thought back to those first few weeks after Vax had joined the Raven Queen. The journey to Pandemonium, getting back Grog after he’d pulled that card, and then the whirlwind of going back to Zephrah and trying to do her duty despite the fact she couldn’t enter her home without wanting to cry or hit something.
‘I worked myself so hard, because I knew if I stopped then I would be a wreck and I couldn’t do that. Not when my people needed me,’ Keyleth sighed as she turned back to Orym, ‘But then one day my father came over to my house. It must have been a couple of months and I’d not had a day off in all that time. He’d come over to give me some documents on a project I’d been setting up, but he took one look at me and threw them in the fire’.
‘He did what?’, Orym’s eyebrows shot up in surprise, making Keyleth giggle.
‘I know right? I was horrified, I started screaming at him I’m pretty sure the whole of Zephrah heard me’, Keyleth started to twist a stray hair as she continued, ‘After I calmed down, he just pointed at the ashes and told me “If you keep on doing this, you’re going to burn up just like those papers. You’ll have nothing left, and every sacrifice you and Vax made will have been for nothing. I know it hurts child, but if you’re going to heal you need to accept that that pain will be a part of you now. But it’s not the only part of you. You are still the same woman that I’m proud to call daughter. The same woman who Vax fell in love with. So please, take a breath and give yourself some grace”’
‘That’s easier said than done’, Orym murmured, his head hanging low.
‘I thought so too. I was so angry, I all but chased my father out of the house. But after he left, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And then a few days later I came across a cloak Vax had given to me’,
Keyleth paused briefly, blinking fiercely as her eyes started to mist up.
‘He told me that he wanted me to live on for as long as possible, and he would do everything in his power to make that happen when he gave me it. Seeing it brought everything crashing down. I just curled up and cried for what felt like days. Afterwards, my grief was still there but I started to allow myself to feel and learn to live with it. It took a long time, and I still carry it with me to an extent, but I’ve reached a place where it’s in the background most days’.
As she finished, Orym’s fist started to curl tightly around the little wooden dog and suddenly all the pieces fell into place.
‘I imagine when you went home and saw that wooden dog, it all came crashing down for you too’, Keyleth said sympathetically as she placed a hand over Orym’s gently. He immediately tensed, but when he looked up and saw the understanding in her eyes it all came out.
‘I don’t know what happened, I don’t even know why I went back there not really’, Orym looked up to the sky with a heavy sigh, ‘I’d only been there five minutes when I tripped over this’, unfurling his hand, he glanced down at the figurine with a soft smile.
‘It’s a lovely piece of carving, did Will make it?’, Keyleth shuffled closer to get a better look.
‘Will?’, Orym snickered, ‘No, Will was talented in many things but the one time I tried to teach him wood-carving he ended up throwing the chisel across the room. Nearly skewered one of our plants’.
‘Oh, so you made this?’.
Orym nodded, ‘I carved it for him as a gift for our first anniversary. It was a little rough, but Will adored dogs so I knew he’d love it’.
‘And did he?’.
Orym’s eyes lit up at the question, ‘Yes, he was so proud to show everyone what I’d made. He took it to show everyone at training the next day, it was a little embarrassing honestly’.
‘I can relate’, Keyleth chuckled, ‘Vax did the same thing when I made him some charms for his birthday’.
‘You can’t be mad at them though, can you?’, Orym leaned his head against the tree, ‘Well, after he showed everyone I thought he would just put it on our fireplace for decoration. Instead, he turned it into his lucky charm. He always said that as long as he had a piece of me with him, he’d always be safe’.
‘That’s so sweet’, Keyleth cooed, ‘I didn’t know Will was such a romantic’.
‘Yeah, he gets it from Nell I think’, Orym started to run his thumb across the wood, ‘Anyway, he kept it in his pocket from that day on. But that night, it must have fallen out. We were in such a rush, it’s all a bit of a blur honestly’.
Tears started to track down his cheek as his voice began to crack.
‘I haven’t been back since so I didn’t realise, and when I saw it there on the ground it just…just…. made me remember how much I let him down’, Orym sobbed and without thinking Keyleth wrapped him in her arms.
‘It’s ok Orym, it’s ok’, she soothed as he started to shake, ‘You didn’t let him down at all, you have to know that’.
‘If I’d gotten there quicker though I could have saved him’, Orym whispered, agony coursing through his words, ‘I was his shield and I failed him’.
‘You mustn’t think like that’, Keyleth pulled back and locked eyes with the little halfling, ‘I’ve been down that road and it does nothing but make the pain even worse’.
Orym said nothing, tears still falling. Keyleth sighed, struggling to know what to say next. She of all people should know that telling Orym not to feel guilty wouldn’t do anything. How many times had she blamed herself for Vax’s fate, even after he’d reassured her there was nothing she could have done?
‘I’m sorry’, she whispered.
‘Sorry for what?’, Orym eyebrows scrunched in confusion.
‘I’m sorry that you’ve been in so much pain and I never even realised’.
‘Chief it’s fine I would never presume…’, Orym said hastily, wiping the tears away.
‘No Orym, it’s not. I know you’re my guard, but I also consider you a friend’, Orym’s jaw dropped as she continued, ‘And friends don’t abandon each other, so here’s what I propose. If you ever need to talk about Will, your life with him, your fears and regrets, even just somewhere to sit in silence, just come to my door. I’ve been where you are, and I know how lonely it can be. Let me make it a bit less lonely for you.
For a few moments, Orym just stared at her wide-eyed. As time stretched on, Keyleth started to grow nervous worried that she’d overstepped. Eventually, Orym broke the silence.
‘I’ll have to think about it’.
‘Oh, there’s no rush’, Keyleth reassured him, ‘It’s a lot I know, so take your time’.
‘Ok I will’, Orym glanced up to see Ruidis and Catha high in the sky now, ‘And I think I’ve kept you out long enough Chief, so let’s get back’.
‘Of course,’, Keyleth steadily got to her feet, ‘Just let me switch back to my eagle form and I’ll fly us both back’.
It didn’t take long for Keyleth to fly back to Evelyn’s. Orym’s mother lived at the edge of town closest to the forest, and as she glided down, she could see lights flooding out of the windows. Landing as gently as she could, she let Orym clamber off her back before reverting back to her usual half-elf self.
‘Here we are, looks like everyone is here waiting for you’.
‘Yeah, I am not looking forward to explaining myself’, Orym ran a hand through his hair with a grimace.
‘Just tell them you needed some air, that always worked for me’, Keyleth crouched down and took Orym’s hands in her own, ‘I’m going to go home now myself, but please consider my offer’.
Orym’s cheeks reddened, ‘I will, and Chief?’.
‘Hmm?’.
‘Thank you. I didn’t know I needed that talk but I’m glad I had it’.
‘Oh, that’s no problem’, Keyleth beamed, ‘I’m happy I was able to help’.
Orym looked over his shoulder to the house, where curious eyes were now peeking out of the windows.
‘I didn’t realise my mother had the triplets round’, Orym released his hands from Keyleth’s, ‘I should get going before they call everyone out here’.
‘I understand, will I see you tomorrow?’.
Orym hesitated before giving a small smile, ‘Let’s leave it as a maybe?’.
‘Maybe it is then’. Keyleth grinned and with that Orym retreated back to his home.
As Keyleth watched on a small raven landed on her shoulder and nuzzled into her neck. Reaching up to stroke its head, she looked up to the star-strewn sky above her and the two moons hanging above her. It really was a beautiful sight, she thought to herself, and with that she made her way home hoping that a halfling knock would come to her door the next day.