Archive of Our Own

———~🐻🦊~———

It started as a joke back in college. Soobin mentioning how nice it would be to get married for the tax benefits. Beomgyu agreeing swiftly. 

But when Beomgyu agreed, he thought that he’d end up with Soobin. He didn’t think that the person he’d end up marrying was Yeonjun. Soobin actually found love and went the traditional route, like a loser.

Beomgyu and Yeonjun were eternally single. Well, it’s more like they’d enter relationships and leave them just as quickly because “you spend more time with your friends than with me” or “you’re just too good looking I can’t handle all the attention”. It’s not their fault people couldn’t handle the Beomgyu/Yeonjun package. 

Honestly, Yeonjun has had some almost-successes in relationships. Yeonjun entered relationships, and it seemed like things were working out well, but then his girlfriend or boyfriend would feel like Yeonjun was untouchable since Yeonjun was an elite dancer and exceedingly attractive, and they didn’t enjoy feeling insignificant compared to their significant other. 

Plus, they could never shake the feeling that Yeonjun had someone more important in his life that he wasn’t being honest about. 

Beomgyu, on the other hand, never even came close to an almost-relationship. He went on a couple of dates with many people, but he hardly felt any chemistry, or a spark, or something to justify continuing. Plus, most of the people he went on dates with were clearly interested in his looks only. And they’d quickly get annoyed by Beomgyu’s rambling or his abrupt silence. Nobody had the patience or care that Beomgyu needed. 

He did have one decent relationship, but it didn’t last very long either. Beomgyu broke it off and decided to just stay friends with him instead.

And so here they are, aged 28 and 29. And still no relationship in sight. 

Not that Beomgyu feels old, nor does Yeonjun. It’s just, well. How should it be put…

Taxes are expensive. And getting married drastically reduces the amount of taxes you pay. And both Beomgyu and Yeonjun make very little money…which means paying for everything alone and paying taxes means living paycheck to paycheck. Even worse, Yeonjun makes just enough to bump him into the next tax bracket. However, if you combine their salaries, they drop a whole tax bracket for married couples.

Furthermore, apartments are easier to pay for when you have two sources of income. Everything is cheaper when two people are contributing to the same thing. The only expense that rises overall was the grocery bill (but the individual contribution to groceries reduces a little).

Financially speaking, marriage is a fantastic idea. Plus, it’s not like Yeonjun or Beomgyu are dating anytime soon. They don’t have the time, energy, or history to motivate them to try again. 

Soobin’s college suggestion always lingered in Beomgyu’s brain, especially as the years blurred together and the years of being single weighed on him. 

When Soobin tells him one day that he might have a candidate for marriage, he didn’t expect Yeonjun. He doesn’t even know how Soobin convinced him to do it. 

“Why don’t we talk about the details over lunch? I’m sure they will be excited to hear the logistics.” Soobin said it so confidently that Beomyu had no choice but to agree. Soobin’s voice was unwavering and excited, so Beomgyu believed Soobin fully when he said that they were on board.

He didn’t even know who they entailed. All he knew is it’s someone Soobin had known for a long time. 

And he trusts Soobin. Soobin wouldn’t set him up with someone that would be a bad fit for him.

———~🐻🦊~——— 

“Soobinnie, I envy you so much. You make more than me, but you pay less in taxes than I do!” Yeonjun’s pouring over Soobin’s financial statements after the older started whining about the sheer amount of money he pays in taxes.

“That’s because I’m married, hyung.” Soobin says around a mouthful of bread.

“But Huening Kai also makes more than you! And also pays less than me!” He only pays a little less, but makes significantly more compared to Yeonjun.

“Well if it’s such a problem for you, just get married!” Some bread crumbs fly out of his mouth and land on Yeonjun’s cardigan, which he swipes away with a grimace.

“I don’t know how someone like you got married already, while someone like me is still a bachelor and single. And it’s not like I have a list of people waiting to marry me!” Yeonjun’s so annoyed with how things have unfolded in his life. 

“Well—” Soobin was about to say something before he’s interrupted by Huening Kai.

“Soobin hyungie! I brought us ice cream to share—Oh, Yeonjun hyung is here.” 

“And good afternoon to you, too Hyuka.” Yeonjun has a soft smile on his face from how cute Huening Kai and Soobin are. 

“Oh thank God you’re here, my Hyuka baby. Yeonjun’s just whining about how we pay less taxes than him even though we make more.”

“Well, then he should just get married!” 

“That’s what I said!” They giggle at that. 

“It’s so nice to see that you two still share the same fucking braincell.” Yeonjun rolls his eyes at their sickeningly cute antics.

“Anyway, I’m not sure how to help you there hyung. It’s not like anyone will marry you just for taxes.” Soobin shrugs his shoulders and continues eating bread.

“Wait, didn’t you have a conversation with Beomgyu about this? I don’t really remember it, and I also want to change into more comfortable clothes, so I’m gonna let you guys chat.” Huening Kai retreats to their bedroom.

“Oh yeah!” Soobin’s exclamation startles Yeonjun, who jumps a little in his seat. “When we were dorming together and whining about love, I told him that we should get married for the tax benefits. As a joke of course. He agreed pretty quickly, though. So it’s not completely improbable that he’ll agree to marry you.

“Woah woah woah. When did I say I wanted to marry Beomgyu? I’m not really that close to him…so I’m not sure how that would play out…” In their friend group of 5, Soobin was always the glue of the group. Beomgyu interacted the most with Taehyun and Soobin, and Yeonjun talked to Soobin and Huening Kai all the time. 

Hell, he was the one who set them up. Clearly he’s an excellent matchmaker. 

And as a matchmaker, he doesn’t think that he and Beomgyu would be a good match. They don’t have a lot in common, their personalities clash, and he’s never had any reason to talk to him outside of their friend group.

“Oh come on Yeonjun hyung! You didn’t even consider it! And I, for one, think you two would be very compatible living together. For one, rent would be way cheaper if you two shared an apartment.”

“Yeah, but there’s a big difference between roommates and being fucking married .”

“And—” Soobin continues, ignoring Yeonjun’s protest, “You don’t really give a shit about love anyway. And neither does Beomgyu, to my knowledge. You guys just…” Soobin waves his hand in a vague gesture that Yeonjun can’t decipher.

“Okay well…” Yeonjun’s out of counterarguments, but he still doesn’t want to marry Beomgyu.

Nothing against Beomgyu. It’s just…marriage is a lot. 

“Hyung, stop making a big deal about marriage.” Soobin’s statement startles Yeonjun. Did Yeonjun accidentally say his statement out loud?

“I can read your mind, hyung. You wear your heart on your sleeve.” Soobin does it again. Is he actually psychic?

“No, Beomgyu won’t judge you for asking. He makes about as much as you and whines even more about his taxes than you do, somehow…”

“That wasn’t what I was thinking…”

“Damn it! I thought I had a good groove going. Moving on, just give it a try! It won’t hurt. And if you sign a prenup, it doesn’t matter if you get a divorce.” 

Honestly, Soobin makes a very good argument. Yeonjun never cared about the sentimentality of marriage, he’s hopelessly broke, and he could just get a divorce if he thinks Beomgyu is too much. It’s about as messy as a breakup, anyway. And they could have an open marriage since they’re not actually married for romantic purposes.

———~🐻🦊~———

When he and Soobin had that discussion over finances, he didn’t think Soobin was actually being serious. It’s a bizarre concept, getting married solely for tax benefits. 

What he expected even less was Soobin inviting him for lunch. “Just the two of us,” he had said. 

Except when he arrives, there are already two people there. One of whom isn’t Soobin or Kai. 

It’s Beomgyu, and he looks equally as surprised to see Yeonjun. 

“Oh Yeonjun hyung. It’s pleasant to see you. You look well.” Beomgyu speaks stiffly, almost like he doesn’t know what to say.

“Yeah…” Yeonjun rubs the back of his head awkwardly—a nervous habit of fiddling with his hair that he never lost. “You look…you look good as well.” 

“Well, glad to see the two of you are best friends.” Soobin says mirthfully before clapping his hands. “Now let’s get down to business.” 

“I don’t feel comfortable having this discussion anymore Soobin.” Yeonjun’s steely tone cuts through the amiable atmosphere that Soobin was trying to create.    

“What if I agree to pay for lunch for the two of you?”

“Say less hyung!” Beomgyu leans forward eagerly in his chair, then looks expectantly at Yeonjun. “C'mon Yeonjun hyung! We can just half listen to Soobin—like we usually do—and get a free lunch! I’m so broke I’ll do practically anything for money.”

The statement instills a deep sense of worry in Yeonjun—he was hoping that Beomgyu would also object to the marriage idea. But it seems like he’s completely on board. 

“Fine. Just for free lunch.”

Free lunch turns into an hour of animated discussion, mostly Soobin ranting about how good marriage is for both companionship and finances. 

“This…this wasn’t worth the free lunch.” Yeonjun’s exhausted from this discussion. He genuinely thought Soobin was just joking about the whole ordeal.

“You wouldn’t have to sell your time for free lunch if you got married. Why? Because you’d be able to have more money! ” Soobin’s really pushing this point to an unhealthy amount. 

Yeonjun’s sick and fucking tired of everyone in his life telling him to get married. Just the other day, his own mother proposed that he marry her best friend’s daughter so that her sister-in-law can also be her best friend. “And, you’ll stop being so lonely and destitute.” She had said before hanging up that awful phone call.

“Yeonjun hyung.” Beomgyu’s soft voice breaks the awkward silence. His head, which was cradled in his hands, lifted a little to meet Beomgyu’s sparkling gaze.

“We shouldn’t do this if you don’t want to. I’m not offended.” Beomgyu’s kindness is oddly touching. After being told by everyone to just do it, it’s nice to hear someone say that he doesn’t have to. 

“It’s not you, I promise. It’s just…I honestly don’t know what the problem is. Everyone makes a valid argument; it would solve a lot of problems, and I also don’t care about the romantic parts of marriage. But, I feel a strong urge not to go through with it.”

“Would you have done it with Soobin hyung? I would have.” Soobin gapes, then closes his mouth, then gapes again. This was news to him , but that’s not important right now. 

Yeonjun actually ponders it. He doesn’t say no immediately the way he did for Beomgyu. Which is telling enough. The problem isn't marrying for tax benefits. It’s the idea of marrying Beomgyu for tax benefits.

“Listen hyung. If we did get married, we wouldn’t have to act like best friends or a couple. We could just live like roommates. I’m only expecting a tax cut. That’s all I want.”

Oddly enough, hearing Beomgyu say that makes the idea much more bearable. In fact, he’s inclined to do it now. 

Yeonjun takes a deep breath and gives a curt reply. “Fine. Let me think about it for a couple of days. This isn’t a small decision after all.” 

Beomgyu chuckles at that. Soobin flits his gaze from Yeonjun to Beomgyu and back to Yeonjun with bright, hopeful eyes. The same way Yeonjun once looked at Soobin and Kai.

Neither Yeonjun nor Beomgyu notice, too busy chatting about potential details. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Yeonjun agreed to take the idea seriously and really ponder it. 

That doesn’t mean he’s on board, though. Especially since he doesn’t know if the plan would even work. So Beomgyu and Yeonjun decide to delve into the logistics of their marriage.

Who knew the logistics would be so complicated?

Taehyun, that’s who. 

It’s a blessing to have someone in the friend group that isn’t perpetually sharing one brain cell. 

The genius Kang Taehyun, who works as a financial analyst. So it’s not surprising that he would be able to help them. 

Taehyun stressfully pours over their respective finances, pinching the bridge of his nose and letting out exasperated sighs periodically. Taehyun is honest to a fault, never willing to sugarcoat anything. His body language screams ‘you two are hopeless’.

Not reassuring at all.

“Okay, so the first thing I’m noticing is that you two have debilitating spending problems.” Taehyun looks at the two of them meaningfully, glasses perched on his nose. 

“Taehyunnie, you look like a grandma~” Beomgyu’s purposefully ignoring Taehyun because he knows it’s true, but doesn’t want to confront reality.

“Beomgyu hyung. If you tease me again, I’m leaving you to figure this out alone. And I know you can’t. You’re lucky I like Yeonjun hyung enough to do this for free.” 

Beomgyu dramatically holds a hand over his heart in mock-offense but doesn’t comment further. 

“Like Yeonjun hyung, you don’t need 3 of the same cardigan. Especially when they’re each this expensive.” Taehyun taps the page meaningfully over the price of each cardigan—$150 a pop. 

“I needed it for work.” Yeonjun huffs. 

“Hyung, you’re a dancer , not an idol. You could wear sweats and a t-shirt for practice and be fine. Plus, I know you don’t wear the beige or blue cardigan. You just wear the black one. Why didn’t you return the other two? I bet you didn’t even take off the tag.”

Taehyun was absolutely correct. Yeonjun hasn’t even touched it since he purchased it. It sits atop a growing pile of clothes that Yeonjun bought and never wore.

“And you Beomgyu hyung.” Taehyun juts a finger at his face. “ Your spending habits are somehow worse. Where does the money even come from? You haven’t produced a song in forever… Why do you have so many video games when you hardly play now? And there’s absolutely no need for you to buy so many vinyls when you don’t even use them. I know you like to wear your wired earbuds and listen on Spotify.”

Beomgyu just blinks with his mouth ajar. He takes a breath like he’s about to speak but opts to shut his mouth and say nothing instead. 

“Aside from your horrible, horrible spending problems, your finances are decent enough. Your credit scores are…not terrible, so marrying won’t mess it up. If you sign a prenup, you guys really have nothing to worry about. Plus, neither of you have significant loans or assets, so filing jointly would be extremely beneficial in terms of taxes.” Taehyun’s words make little sense to Beomgyu and Yeonjun, but they trust his advice. 

“If you guys get married, you will both drop into a lower tax bracket, giving you an overall tax drop of 10%! Beomgyu hyung, you’ll pay less since you’re filing jointly. But the tax benefits are especially for Yeonjun hyung, since he’s barely in the upper tax bracket, but if you marry, you drop into a much lower tax range.”

“One important thing to remember is that if you don’t sign a prenup, you’ll have to negotiate the division of your assets. Since you’re not marrying for love, if you think there’s a possibility of divorce, I’d sign a prenup. That way, you don’t have to deal with the hassle of dividing everything. Another important thing to remember is that you need to file jointly, or you’ll miss out on most of the benefits. Please don’t take on any additional loans, or else you’ll need to file separately.” Taehyun removes his glasses with a sigh and rubs his eyes. 

“Taehyun-ah, you’re only 27. You shouldn’t be acting like an old man already.” Beomgyu’s teasing earns a harsh glare from Taehyun.

“I think what Beomgyu-ya means is thank you so much for all your help.” Yeonjun places a firm hand to the back of Beomgyu’s head and pushes him down into a matching bow. The soft blush on Beomgyu’s face isn’t lost on Taehyun, who can see the slightly red tips of Beomgyu’s ears when his head is parallel to the floor. 

“I need to go to practice. I’ll talk to you both later!” Yeonjun starts grabbing his stuff, taking an unusually long amount of time.

“I need to go to the studio. The agency keeps asking for a sample for the next comeback. Bye Tyun-ah!” Beomgyu grabs his stuff, and they both start leaving. 

Once Yeonjun is out the door, though, Taehyun grabs Beomgyu’s arm and stops him from leaving. Yeonjun turns around and fixes him a quizzical look but doesn’t pry further. 

“Beomgyu hyung.”

“Oh no. It’s the ‘I’m-about-to-lecture-Beomgyu’ tone. What’d I do this time?” Beomgyu says with a teasing lilt to his voice. 

“Does he know you used to have a crush on him?” Taehyun’s voice cuts through the pleasant atmosphere and leaves something heavy. The smile on Beomgyu’s face is quickly wiped off. 

The reason Beomgyu and Yeonjun aren’t very close is because Beomgyu was always too afraid to talk to him alone, and Yeonjun made no significant effort to get to know him. They’re friends, but not best friends the way Beomgyu is with Taehyun and Soobin. 

Beomgyu had a huge crush on Yeonjun. Like, ‘hands hovering over his keyboard before typing a text that’s never sent’ huge. ‘Turning red as soon as you see him and trying to brush it off’ huge. ‘Watching him at dance practice every day through the window like a creep’ huge. It got to the point where he had to cut Yeonjun off until he could settle his surging emotions before they blew up their friend group.

“Why would I tell him that, Taehyun-ah?” Beomgyu gives a weak laugh, but it comes out as a huff instead.

“Because. If he finds out, he’ll think you manipulated him into marrying him to appease your feelings.”

“I’m too scared to tell him. And it’s not like I have feelings for him anymore!” Beomgyu’s voice wavers a little because he’s really scared. He’s terrified that if Yeonjun finds out, he’ll stop talking to him. 

“I’m surprised he doesn't know. Every time he was single, you’d break up with whoever you were dating at the time.”

“Well, that’s purely coincidental.”

“No it’s not. You even broke up with Heeseung when you found out Yeonjun was single. And you actually liked Heeseung a lot. Aren’t you two still friends?”

“We are. And I broke up with him because it wasn’t fair to him that I had feelings for someone else—Oh, I see what you’re saying now.” 

“Exactly. So tell him, Beomgyu. It won’t go poorly. I promise.” Taehyun softens his voice and lays a comforting hand on Beomgyu’s arm. There’s the Taehyun he knows and loves. Honest to a fault. 

Very reassuring at this moment. 

“But if I never tell him, he’ll never find out.” Beomgyu’s voice is barely above a whisper at this point, on the verge of cracking into tears. 

Taehyun sighs—a deep, heavy sound. But he doesn’t berate him. “Beomgyu hyung. It’s your life. I won’t tell Yeonjun hyung about it, though. This is your decision. But you have my recommendation, so please consider it at least.” Taehyun gives him a parting hug and retreats to his bedroom. 

Beomgyu leaves immediately after and heads straight for the recording studio. For once, he has enough internal turmoil to fuel his creative juices. Perhaps he can make a song about longing. It’d fit very well with his last hit song, a song about growing apart with time. It’s a theme he hasn’t explored in music, and he can feel the emotions swirling in his heart, ready for its monthly creative release. 

Whether Beomgyu meant it or not, his best songs were always about Yeonjun.

———~🐻🦊~———

After that conversation, it took practically no effort to get Yeonjun to agree. 

Soobin, Beomgyu, and Yeonjun went out for dinner to discuss details. 

“So, what’s the verdict?” Soobin stabs a piece of shrimp and bites down, staring expectantly at Beomgyu while doing it. It almost feels like a threat. 

“Well, Taehyun said that it would be good in terms of financial status. Which means that the prospect of marrying for the sake of tax benefits would be a fruitful one.” Beomgyu is sitting straight up in his chair with overly-proper posture, holding a mock-regal facial expression to mimic a higher level official. 

“Beomgyu you’re a fucking menace.” Yeonjun lightly shoves him to the side and almost knocks him out of his chair. “But he’s right. Taehyun said it’d be a good idea, and after thinking about it, I’ve come to a decision.”

Soobin drops his fork and stares implorigly. The only sounds at the table are the sounds of breathing and the echoes of the clattering fork. After a long pause, Yeonjun’s face breaks into a wide grin. 

“I’ll do it.” 

Soobin looks the most excited out of everyone at the table. He stands up and starts bouncing up and down, much to the embarrassment of Yeonjun. 

Beomgyu leans over and gives him a tight hug. Yeonjun instinctively wraps his arms around Beomgyu as well, and the two embrace as Soobin excitedly chatters about what the future would look like with the two of them being married. 

Soobin’s enthusiasm is almost as high as it was when Kai agreed to marry him. Which is a bit strange considering Beomgyu and Yeonjun aren’t getting married for romantic purposes; they’re just trying to save money.

Nonetheless, this moment is a moment that needs to be savored. Soobin whips out his phone and snaps a photo of the two about-to-be-wed men who are tightly hugging each other. Weirdly, Yeonjun feels like he’s going to cry from joy. 

It’s not like he’s marrying the love of his life or anything. He’s just marrying Beomgyu. But the thought actually makes him extraordinarily happy for some bizarre reason. 

Without a doubt in his mind, if he were to marry Taehyun for tax purposes, he wouldn’t be this excited. He would’ve just signed the papers the same day and moved on. 

But something about living with Beomgyu and being married to him makes him weirdly excited. Maybe it’s because Yeonjun adores his cute friend to no end, even if they aren’t that close. Maybe it’s because Beomgyu saw him during his most vulnerable moments. 

Maybe it’s because he once had feelings for Beomgyu when they first met. But those feelings were quickly extinguished when Beomgyu started avoiding him in college. 

Regardless, they animatedly discuss the details of marriage. The perks, the cons (there really aren’t much for Beomgyu and Yeonjun, and the plans. 

Of course, they won’t hold an actual wedding since they’re not trying to celebrate a fake marriage. But they will have a celebratory dinner after they sign the papers. 

Beomgyu and Yeonjun tentatively decide to get married in a week. The sooner the better, and this way, they don’t have to sit on it or stew unnecessarily. 

———~🐻🦊~———

The next step is to decide when to move in together. They agreed to move in the morning before they sign the papers, just to save the hassle of transportation after dinner. They have to make preparations after all. Mainly preparations to donate or trash unneeded belongings and begin moving into Yeonjun’s apartment—Yeonjun’s apartment is closer to both his dance studio and Beomgyu’s recording studio. Another added perk of marriage. 

Plus, it’s a lot nicer even though it’s only slightly more expensive. Mostly because Yeonjun did a lot of home renovation projects and Beomgyu hardly remembers to clean his.  

Beomgyu was greeted with the rising sun before he began his daunting task. He started with the simple tasks first: packing up his clothes, placing his instruments in delicate cases, placing his amp and distortion pedal in their respective boxes. Anything he knows he needs, he places in a large box labeled “necessities”.

His furniture…that’s a bit more difficult to deal with. He has to decide which furniture to bring and which furniture to repurchase. 

His comfortable desk chair? That has to go; it won’t fit in the trunk and he doesn’t want to disassemble and reassemble it. So he just sells it to his landlord, who decides to include it in the apartment. 

His very expensive desk? He has to bring that; he spent way too much on it to just ditch it. He carefully removes each leg and places it in a box that’s the perfect size for his desk. Then he folds the tabletop in half and fits it neatly in the box.

The remainder of his furniture is divided in half; sell the bed, keep the nightstand, sell the TV trolley, keep the actual TV, sell his gaming computer’s monitor, keep his gaming computer and keyboard.

While he picks up the nightstand, the drawer slips out and all its contents spill onto the floor. Now Beomgyu’s staring at a heap of possessions that he hadn’t touched in years, delicate memories running to him at full force. 

God, he forgot how bad his feelings were. 

He has an entire notebook dedicated to memories with Yeonjun, along with pictures, too-small clothes, faded photos, random notes, and other Yeonjun-related paraphernalia that he treasured more than anything else in college. 

Maybe Taehyun was right. Perhaps Yeonjun should know about his old feelings. Feelings which linger just a little. 

It’s physically repulsive to toss out years of tenderly documented mementos of Yeonjun. His hands shake with each photo he rips up and tosses into a trash can. He originally planned on tossing out a few belongings, but finding this dusty box reminded him that he probably needs multiple. 

Each torn photo tears at his heart a little. It oddly feels like a breakup, which is ironic considering how it’s signaling the start of their married life together. 

It’s funny how well he’s convinced himself that he’s over Yeonjun. Of course, the surging rush of emotions faded into a soft ache that constantly sat at his heart. And comparing the past to the present, it’s understandable that Beomgyu would believe the lie he told everyone. 

That he doesn’t love Yeonjun anymore. That he’s over him. 

But the shaky hands tearing tattered photographs of ancient memories is a physical indicator that no, he’s not entirely over Yeonjun. 

His surging crush on Yeonjun faded into a soft love, and he was too oblivious to notice it. 

He can’t go through with the final photo book. The most treasured photo book that he’s had for years. It’s a collection of moments that the two of them shared. Just the two of them.

The day when Yeonjun ran into him on the way to the dance studio and invited him to ramen. The day when Yeonjun asked Beomgyu to remix a song so he could dance to it for his audition. The day Yeonjun tucked the hair behind Beomgyu’s hair before he submitted the first draft of his first commissioned song. 

And most recently, the day they all went out to eat lunch and Yeonjun agreed to marry him. 

Yeonjun’s going to marry him. The thought just hit him like a freight train. 

It’s a bittersweet feeling. Sweet, because Yeonjun is going to marry him, which is the most romantic thing that could happen to him. 

Bitter, because Yeonjun doesn’t love him. He’s just marrying a friend to save money. 

But Beomgyu’s going to make the best of it anyway. Any time he can spend with Yeonjun is time he’ll gladly take. 

After packing his clothes into neat boxes and tossing out old notebooks, well-worn clothes, furniture that he really doesn’t need, and various trinkets that are coated in a healthy layer of dust, he's finally finished. 

He takes one last glance at his apartment. A place he hardly called “home”. Truthfully, he spent more time with Soobin and Taehyun than he did at his own place. The apartment was run-down, stuffy, overpriced, and lacked comfort. 

Plus, he’s looking forward to the daily presence of Yeonjun in his life. 

He grabs his boxes and carries them to the elevator, going from the 5th floor to the 1st where Yeonjun is waiting for him in his car. 

He packs his belongings in the trunk, goes back up, grabs the remainder of his boxes, packs them up, then comes back for one last glance over. 

Once he’s certain that there’s nothing else he needs, he says goodbye to his apartment and turns in his keys. 

When he comes back down, he sits in the passenger seat of the car and lets out a deep sigh. Yeonjun looks over and asks, “You ready to go?” 

Beomgyu’s reply is swift. “Yes. I’m ready.”

He’s ready to move into his home.

———~🐻🦊~———

The atmosphere between Beomgyu and Yeonjun became…strange. Well, strange wouldn’t be the right word. Awkward? It’s difficult to describe. 

Whatever it is, neither of them like it. Preparing for marriage is supposed to be exciting and fun. Or at the minimum, not as stressful.

He doesn’t even know where the stress is coming from. They just have to go to the courthouse and file a marriage license. Hell, they don’t even have to change their surnames since it’s the same “Choi” for both of them. Yet Yeonjun can’t shake the unrelenting nerves that rise up in the form of bile. 

“...and just sign here affirming your union.” The clerk points to two lines on the document. 

Beomgyu just signs the document like it’s nothing, then hands the pen to Yeonjun. 

Yeonjun’s hands are shaking as they move to grab the pen. He doesn’t know where the sudden jolt of nerves came from. Especially since Beomgyu so calmly made the most legally significant decision of his entire life. 

The clerk eyes him quizzically as he hesitates over the marriage license. Most couples are enthusiastic about signing the marriage license, so it’s strange to see someone so hesitant, especially when their partner is standing right there. 

Beomgyu lays a gentle hand atop Yeonjun’s unsteady one, and the action makes Yeonjun’s heartbeat match the unsynchronized staccato of his hands. 

“Yeonjun hyung,” Beomgyu’s voice is soft, dripping with honey and understanding. “If you’re not ready, it’s okay. I’ll be waiting whenever you’re ready.”

An embarrassingly red flush rises to Yeonjun’s cheeks. He shouldn’t be so embarrassed about this. But Beomgyu’s hand on his is a reassuring presence. Perhaps he can do this. 

With a deep breath, Yeonjun signs the marriage license, and Beomgyu gives him a quick hug. A hug that Yeonjun immediately reciprocates. 

“The document may take 3-5 to process before it is officially noted that you are legally married. After that, your social security information will update and any financials pertaining to your marriage will update after that time. I wish you the best of luck on your new journey as a married couple.”

What a short wedding. 

But Yeonjun feels weirdly giddy. For no good reason honestly. He just signed a marriage license with his friend, then walked out like it was nothing. 

Soobin, Kai, and Taehyun are waiting for them so they can go eat dinner after. One newly married couple and one married couple that also includes Taehyun somehow—the logistics don’t make a lot of sense to Yeonjun but they make it work very well. 

They sit at the dinner table. Of course, Soobin and Kai are sitting together, with Taehyun squished between Kai and the wall. Beomgyu and Yeonjun sit next to each other, trying to act like there’s not a weird tension between them. There really shouldn’t be, but maybe they’re moving too fast.

Yeonjun’s a complicated mix of emotions right now. 

Beomgyu, on the other hand, seems totally and completely calm. He was reassuring, energetic, and kind. The same Beomgyu he always knew and respected. 

Which Yeonjun deeply envies. While he’s clearly panicking a little (read: a lot), Beomgyu seems super calm. Laughing gleefully like he normally does, radiating positive energy that lights up the entire room, teasing Soobin for being Soobin. The usual. 

Beomgyu’s presence in his daily life is something he’s truthfully excited to adjust to. Beomgyu was always a bright yellow in Yeonjun’s gray days, especially during college when Beomgyu would take on the role as the unofficial “mood-maker”.

Of course, Beomgyu had his off-days too, but Yeonjun appreciated the constant effort he made to protect the energy and happiness of their friend group by sacrificing the opportunity to publicize his emotions.

Yeonjun isn’t sure when, but sometime during their dinner, Beomgyu decided to lay a warm hand on Yeonjun’s thigh, a radiating heat blooming on the swell of his thigh. The comforting gesture is clearly there, with reassuring squeezes that come sporadically and gentle rubs that settle Yeonjun’s nerves.

After dinner, he’s going to go to bed in his apartment with someone there for the last time. Beomgyu already brought his stuff, but he didn’t officially move in yet, so the realization hasn’t hit Yeonjun until now. 

Until Beomgyu and Yeonjun are standing side-by-side and staring at his—no, their— front door.

Yeonjun uncharacteristically fumbles for his keys and struggles to put it in the lock. Thankfully, Beomgyu takes out his set of keys and unlocks the door. 

“Wow hyung, if I didn’t know any better, I’d think you’re moving in for the first time.” Beomgyu quips as he steps in the apartment and slips off his shoes. 

He places them neatly on the shoe rack by the door and gingerly sits on the couch, posture perfectly straight and poised. His legs are neatly crossed at the ankles and he clasps his hands on his lap. 

Beomgyu looks like he’s sitting at the house of a stranger instead of his husband’s apartment. It’s a sight that makes Yeonjun feel queasy since Beomgyu has been there before. When the 5 of them hung out at his place and played cards, Beomgyu was splayed over all his furniture. A comfortable sight that warmed his heart. 

Now, he looks incredibly uneasy. And he really shouldn’t be. Beomgyu is a welcome presence in his life and he’s been there often enough that he knows the place like he knows his own home. 

Well, now it actually is his own home. So why isn’t he acting like it?

Yeonjun sits next to Beomgyu on the couch, and he visibly relaxes. 

“Beomie, you know this is your home now. Feel free to do whatever you please.”

Beomgyu purses his lips, then he slouches. The rigidity melts away as he places his head on Yeonjun’s shoulder and goes boneless. 

“I’m so exhausted. It took all my effort to pretend like I’m not feeling anything.” Beomgyu blinks slowly, eyes staying closed for a beat longer than normal. 

Ah. Typical Beomgyu. Assuming the role of mood-maker even at his own expense.

“I understand. I’m oddly nervous too. Even though this doesn’t really mean anything.” Yeonjun rubs Beomgyu’s arm up and down to help him relax. 

Beomgyu’s silence is loud and prolonged. Yeonjun feels the urge to fill it when Beomgyu chimes in.

“Yeah. It doesn’t really mean anything.” Beomgyu’s blinking turns into dozing off, and Yeonjun gingerly lays him on the couch. 

He grabs the most comfortable blanket he owns and places it on Beomgyu before retreating to his own bedroom to sleep.

He comes back out, though, just to make sure Beomgyu is fast asleep before he gently strokes his hair, smoothing down the disarrayed strands and smiling before he retreats for the final time to his bedroom. 

If Yeonjun were paying more attention, he would’ve heard the sound of a quickening heartbeat that wasn’t his own, and a hitched breath from the drowsy, unsleeping Beomgyu. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Moving in together shouldn’t be this difficult. And it wouldn’t be, if Beomgyu would just let Yeonjun help him.

But he refuses, saying he “doesn’t want to impose on hyung” and decides to do it on his own. Which also wouldn’t bother him. Except, he’s taking an extraordinarily long amount of time to move his belongings. 

When Yeonjun left in the morning, Beomgyu was only ¼ of the way done. Which is fine. But when he got back, Beomgyu was only ½ of the way done. He was gone for three hours. Why did it take him so long?

“Beomgyu-yah.” Yeonjun sounds horribly out of breath and tired, which makes sense since he was dancing nonstop for three hours straight. 

“Oh hyung! You’re back already?”

“Already? Beomgyu, it’s been 3 hours. Do you need any help?” Yeonjun is trying his absolute best to keep an even tone. 

Beomgyu’s eyes widen comically and he whips his head to look at the clock. Lo and behold, it really has been three hours. 

“I’m so sorry hyung! I got distracted! I’ll hurry up and finish now!” Beomgyu stands up and shoves all the boxes haphazardly into his bedroom (which used to be Yeonjun’s office).

An hour later, Beomgyu emerges from the room, face flushed and hair messy. The room is finally complete. 

Yeonjun peeks in and sees that it’s distinctly Beomgyu in nature. Soft decor and musical equipment strewn everywhere. A desk that looks like it was too expensive for Beomgyu. A chair with a price tag still attached to it that Yeonjun is itching to rip off. A gaming computer placed at the corner of his desk. A Nintendo Switch connected to his TV that barely fits on top of his nightstand that he’s using as a makeshift TV trolley. 

“Huh. Your room is cute!” Just like you, Yeonjun almost says but bites back.

“Thanks hyung! Now let’s eat. I’m starving.”

They sit together at their kitchen table and eat ramen that Yeonjun struggled to make. Lots of dance practice and lack of adequate sleep have really been wearing down on Yeonjun. 

After a quiet lunch (well, it’s about 5pm so maybe it’s dinner), they retreat to their respective bedrooms. 

Beomgyu’s still not completely unpacked. He just took out the important furniture. He still has to put the clothes in his closet, assemble the bed, clean his desk, add his stationary, organize his musical equipment, and hide the photo book somewhere.

For better or for worse, Beomgyu is very particular about where he keeps his belongings. At his old apartment, it took him 2 weeks to settle on an arrangement style. 

Beomgyu doesn’t have the luxury of two weeks though. Because after today, he has to go back to work and make a song before his deadline. And he has some new video games to play. 

Which means he needs to finish the daunting task of decorating before he goes to bed. The current time is 7pm because he spent two hours setting up his gaming PC. 

He starts by placing all the stationary on his desk in no particular location. He just wants to take it out of the box. Then he puts his hamper in the closet and stuffs all his clothes in there, ignoring the overwhelming urge to carefully fold his clothes instead because he really does not have the time to do that right now.

His desk is extremely messy. To his misfortune, all its contents were spilled in the box and a shocking amount of dust settled on it during the two days it sat in the box. So he sprays it down, wipes it, sprays it again, wipes it with a Clorox wipe, dries it with a paper towel, and swipes his finger to inspect for any more dust. His finger turns up perfectly clean with the drag of his finger leaving a quiet squeak. Good. He got it all. 

Of course, all his songwriting folders and producing notebooks fell from the drawer. Which means there are papers strewn everywhere and notebooks with tears in the page. 

This is very bad, to put it lightly. The papers were meticulously organized, and Beomgyu swore he bound them together so that they wouldn’t fall out of the folder. But as his luck would have it, the rubber band snapped from strain and he didn’t notice. So the paperwork fell out of its neat folder. 

Then, the notebooks fell, which meant some of the pages were torn from the weight of the other notebooks and the friction from moving the box frequently. 

Beomgyu, the master procrastinator, decides to deal with that later. 

Thankfully, all his instruments remain unscathed by the moving process. They’re tucked safely in their containers, ready to be moved to and from the studio. His distortion pedal and footrest are also perfectly fine, which saves him the hassle of having to repair them. He organizes the instruments by priority. His guitar being placed right next to the door and its equipment placed in an easy-to-carry bag. His other instruments—such as the MIDI keyboard and producer board—are placed in its carrying case and put in the closet since he has a bit of space in the corner. 

Now for the paperwork. It’s already 9pm and he really needs to pick up the paperwork. It doesn’t help that multiple idffernet folders were placed in the same box, so his work isn’t even separated by folder. 

He starts with that task first, picking up papers and skimming it to decide which folder it belongs to. Then he adds it to a designated stack, and he goes through all the paperwork. Which takes about an hour. 

Then, he has to sort each stack by chronological order. To his demise, he opted not to date most of his pages so he could reuse them. Which means he’s left to guesswork. Meticulously, he sorts every pile. Taking hours to do so. He stares at the clock on his desk which reads 1 a.m. But he’s finally fucking finished and is so excited to just plop on his mattress and sleep. 

Right when Beomgyu thinks he’s done, he stubs his toe on the bed and drops the paperwork in shock. Which means he has to do it all over again. 

And Beomgyu forgets that he’s living with someone else now. Because he takes a deep breath and yells, “ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!” as loudly as he possibly can. 

And Yeonjun, poor Yeonjun, has to wake up at 6am the next day. He was sound asleep when Beomgyu rudely woke him up with a curse. 

Yeonjun panics at the shout and jumps out of bed to check on Beomgyu.

“Beomgyu-yah! Is everything okay?” Yeonjun’s eyes are hardly open, reduced to nothing on his face. He looks so tired, and Beomgyu feels so bad for waking him up. 

“Oh…Yeonjun-hyung.” Beomgyu at least looks very sheepish when he looks at Yeonjun. “I’m so sorry, but I just stubbed my toe and dropped my papers. It’s nothing to worry about.”

“Oh. Okay.” Yeonjun looks quite annoyed. He wordlessly closes the door and trudges back to his bed. 

Beomgyu doesn’t know if it’s the frustration of the situation or the fact that he already bothered Yeonjun, but he’s full on sobbing now. His body wracks with the force of his tears as he slumps to the floor and pathetically cries. He picks up his paperwork with watery eyes and repeats the same, arduous process of sorting. This time, he sorts them on the desk so he doesn’t have to transport them. 

It’s 3am when he finishes. He’s completely exhausted, but he’s still not done. He takes the photobook and places it at the bottom of his desk drawer, then places his less-important notebooks on top of it, then places the important paperwork and notebooks on the very top of the drawer. The photobook is layered beneath his songwriting pages and production notebooks. Yeonjun would never go through his artistic material without permission; as an artist himself, he understands the delicacy of an artist’s work, especially unfinished works. 

When Beomgyu organizes his stationary and hangs his clothes on the closet rack, it’s 4:30am. But at least he’s finished now. He had hoped to have enough time to set up new videogame, but he’s on the verge of collapse. 

He can’t even be bothered to walk to the bathroom. So he just lays in bed with unbrushed teeth and an unwashed face and falls asleep. He’ll probably regret it in the morning, but he doesn’t want to disturb Yeonjun again.  

———~🐻🦊~———

Beomgyu wakes up and feels like shit. Sticky mouth, crusty face, and it’s only 9am. He slept for no more than 5 hours. 

He begrudgingly gets out of bed and is greeted with an empty apartment since Yeonjun had to leave at 6am for practice. He goes to the bathroom and takes a long shower to wash off the gritty feeling, then he eats some cereal that he brought. It tastes stale and gross, but he needs some fuel for the long day ahead of him. He has to go to the studio and hammer out a full album’s worth of samples by the end of the week. And he has…absolutely nothing. 

He’s been too busy dealing with moving apartments and talking to Taehun about financial records. Plus, his instruments were sitting in the trunk of a car for two days. 

He washes his bowl and heads to the studio to work on his song. Hours later, he receives a text from Yeonjun while he’s working. 

yeonjun-hyung
hey beomgyu
i just want to ask you to put away the cereal bowl back in the cabinet instead of leaving it in the dish rack
thanks!

me
oh sure
no problem
sorry about that hyung

yeonjun-hyung
also ik u have ur own cereal box but can u put it with the other cereal
and can u make sure ur shoes aren’t on the top 2 racks
and can u put ur jacket on a different part of the coat rack

me
sure
is there anything else, hyung?

Beomgyu’s text is met with radio silence. Honestly, Beomgyu can’t help but feel a little miffed. He understands that it’s Yeonjun’s apartment and he has rules, but he feels a little…micromanaged. Especially considering Yeonjun never had a problem with this before. 

When he comes back to the apartment, any of his belongings that were outside his bedroom have been misplaced, and it takes a significant amount of time to find it. He doesn’t know where to put his shoes since all the racks are now occupied, and he can’t walk on the floor with them or carry them to his carpeted room, lest Yeonjun get upset over that, too. So he crams them next to his shoes and hopes Yeonjun won’t say anything. 

Then he looks at the coat rack to see where to put his jacket, but the only available spot is the same place Yeonjun told him not to put it on. So he just throws it on his bed. 

He left a container of leftovers to eat when he got back, but it’s not in the front of the fridge where he left it. Instead, it’s in the back, behind the milk. The only reason he saw it is because he took out the milk to eat cereal since he didn’t have anything else to eat. 

Beomgyu takes a deep breath and eats the cold leftovers: he’s too afraid to use the microwave since he doesn’t want to step on any more toes. 

Beomgyu is probably being dramatic. He’ll be the first to acknowledge that. But he really doesn’t want to inconvenience Yeonjun. And more importantly, he’s on edge from an unproductive day at the studio. He was only able to make one rough draft, which would normally be a cause for celebration, but he’s really far behind, so he needs to make at least 2 songs a day. More like 3, but beggars can’t be choosers.

It’s 10pm now. He’s staring at his songwriting notebook and resisting the urge to just slide all his work off the table and onto the floor in a childish tantrum. Thankfully, he manages to muster a very rough draft of another song that he has to record when he goes to the studio tomorrow. 

It’s 3am and he’s itching to grab his guitar, but he knows Yeonjun won’t like that. Because he knows he’ll forget it in the morning, he puts his notebook on the kitchen island so he sees it on the way out. 

He just crawls into bed and goes to sleep. Or tries to. But the urge to hear his music is too strong. He crawls out of the warm bed and strums notes on his guitar, tapping the body for a makeshift drum. It sounds surprisingly good considering he made it up in his head. 

He got a bit lost in the music though, because it’s 5am now and he’s sure that Yeonjun is awake. So he decides to head to the studio and record now. 

When he leaves the room, Yeonjun is waiting for him with his arms crossed and a scowl on his face. 

“Beomgyu-yah.” Yeonjun sounds incredibly displeased. 

“Oh, hyung. What’s up?” Beomgyu is trying to keep an even tone. But he really can’t handle another lecture right now.

“I don’t like waking up to the sounds of guitar.” Yeonjun gives him a pointed glare before continuing. “And if you wake me up in the middle of the night, I’m going to be extremely upset.”

Beomgyu closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before pushing his way past Yeonjun. 

“Sure hyung. Whatever you say. Your house, your rules.” Except, it’s not really Yeonjun’s house anymore, is it? Especially since he pays half the rent and bills now. 

Beomgyu eats a bowl of cereal alone, making a point to put the box with the other cereal boxes. Then, he makes a bitter, horrible, espresso-filled cup of coffee for some much-needed energy before he collapses on the spot. He hasn’t slept a wink and he won’t be able to come back until 6pm at the earliest.

Yeonjun leaves while Beomgyu eats his cereal, not even giving him a goodbye. Moving in together has already placed a serious strain on their relationship. 

When his phone alerts him that it’s 6am, he decides to take his leave too. He washes his cereal bowl and puts it away in the cabinet this time.  

He’s about to leave the house when he notices that the notebook he placed isn’t there anymore. He can’t see it anywhere, and he frantically looks around the room. 

He checks all the cabinets, in his drawer, on the living room table. Everywhere. He knows he left it on the kitchen island. Where else could he have put it?

Wait. Maybe he’s not the one who moved it. 

He calls Yeonjun’s phone and it rings for an eternity, then it goes to voicemail. Beomgyu tries his phone again, but the same thing happens. 

Fuck. He’s absolutely fucking screwed. He falls to the floor and sobs. His phone starts ringing and he almost ignores it until he sees “Yeonjun-hyung” on the caller ID. 

“Beomgyu-yah? Did you need something?” Yeonjun sounds concerned, and Beomgyu’s incessant sniffling doesn’t help.

“Hyung. Have you seen my notebook? I put it on the kitchen table.” Beomgyu manages to say in between hiccups. 

“Oh that? I put it in the drawer next to the couch in the living room. That’s where all the notebooks go.” Yeonjun barely finishes the sentence before Beomgyu hangs up on him. 

When he opens the drawer, lo and behold, his notebook sits right on top. He wants to both thank and yell at Yeonjun. Thank, because he called back within a few minutes. Yell, because he can’t just move his stuff without asking him.  

Beomgyu just swallows his complaints for later. Right now, he has to go to the studio. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Ok, maybe Yeonjun’s being a bit harsh on Beomgyu. But he can’t help it. He genuinely has no idea how to live with anyone, and Beomgyu doesn’t really act in the most considerate manner. 

Take last night for example. Who plays guitar at 3am and bangs their guitar loud enough to wake up everyone in the vicinity? He wasn’t going to say anything about being rudely awoken again, but Beomgyu didn’t stop all night. 

And Beomgyu yells a lot. He doesn’t even need to yell at someone. He just yells. Honestly, Yeonjun thinks Beomgyu’s just unaware of how loud he is. 

And he leaves his stuff everywhere, which normally wouldn’t bother Yeonjun that much, but for some reason, it’s grating his nerves. Maybe it’s because of the lack of sleep he’s been getting. 

Yeonjun shouldn’t have moved Beomgyu’s notebook. And he knows that. But Beomgyu can’t just leave his stuff wherever he pleases. Yeonjun doesn’t leave his belongings everywhere. 

So in a petty spat partly fueled by sleep deprivation, he threw Beomgyu’s notebook in a drawer and left. 

If he had known it was Beomgyu’s work notebook, he wouldn’t have done that. Especially if he knew Beomgyu would cry as a result. 

The entirety of dance practice, Yeonjun could only think about Beomgyu. The guilt kept eating him alive. 

When he got back home, Beomgyu predictably wasn’t there. Yeonjun went to take a shower and eat dinner and Beomgyu still wasn’t there. It’s already 8pm…why is Beomgyu still out?

Just when Yeonjun resigns and decides to head to bed, he hears Beomgyu come back. Yeonjun’s heart starts racing when he hears Beomgyu’s loud laughter and the sounds of muffled conversation. 

Beomgyu’s talking to someone. And by the sounds of it, probably Soobin. Yeonjun presses his ear to the door to listen. Not to be nosy, but just to see when he’s done so he can apologize. 

“...yeah I always feel like I’m stepping on Yeonjun-hyung’s toes.” Beomgyu is either blissfully unaware that Yeonjun is home, or he isn’t aware of how loud he is. Though, he suspects it’s the former because his phone is on speaker phone. 

“Well, you’re not easy to live with either. You’re very loud and boisterous at the worst possible hours. And you tend to be unaware of where your stuff is.” A valid point, but Beomgyu’s not going to admit that.

“That’s…well Yeonjun-hyung keeps moving my stuff without asking and he’s so picky about where I put my shoes or my coat or my cereal. I don’t say anything about the way he organizes my stuff. Why’s he so picky about the way I move my stuff?”

Soobin hums in acknowledgement. “Well, maybe Yeonjun just…no actually, I don’t have anything to say to that. I’d be annoyed, too.”

“Soobin-hyung, maybe this whole thing was a mistake. I’m afraid my relationship with Yeonjun-hyung will get worse, and that’s the last thing I want. I’m starting to get annoyed, and he’s already annoyed.”

“Don’t say that Beomie. Just talk to him. He’s very understanding, but try to cut him some slack. If you could live with me, then you can live with him. I have to go now, Kai’s home.” 

“Mkay. Bye hyung.” Beomgyu hangs up the phone and turns around to see Yeonjun standing there, staring at him. 

Yeonjun doesn’t know what possessed him to open the door, but the door’s open now. And they’re just looking at each other. 

“Ah hyung…you’re here…How…how much did you hear?” Beomgyu looks incredibly uneasy. 

“I heard the latter part of it. All the complaints you had against me.”

“Oh.” Beomgyu’s face colors in embarrassment. “Look hyung, I—”

“No, save it. I’m not mad. I’ve been too harsh on you, and I’m sorry for that. I’m just really antsy because I’m not used to having a roommate, and I’m at peak stress right now. I know you are too, and I’m not making things easy for you.”

“Hyung, I’m sorry too. I was inconsiderate of your schedule and I’ve been unnecessarily loud. Seeing how you heard my entire phone call without meaning to since I was talking too loudly.”

“This is your house too, Beomgyu. I won’t be too pushy anymore. Do what you please. Just…try not to be too messy. That’s all I ask.”

“Okay hyung. I’ll try to be neater and I won’t leave my stuff everywhere. But, please don’t move my stuff without asking me again. That was terrifying.” 

“Okay, I can do that.” Beomgyu and Yeonjun are just staring at each other and nodding. It’s very awkward, a dynamic that they never had in the past, but seems to be occurring more frequently now. 

“Hyung, I’m gonna head to bed now. So if you could…” Beomgyu gestures to his door, which Yeonjun is unintentionally blocking.

“Oh right.” Yeonjun quickly steps to the side and Beomgyu walks into his room, closing the door and locking it.

Yeonjun lets out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. But now that the difficult part is out of the way, hopefully things will improve between the two of them.

———~🐻🦊~———

Beomgyu and Yeonjun settled into comfortable, yet separate routines after that. Beomgyu and Yeonjun lived on completely opposite schedules: Yeonjun would wake up early, dance, then come back and eat ramen. Then, he’d unwind for a bit and sleep for 8 hours. Very put together. 

Beomgyu, on the other hand. He would wake up…normally around 10am but it varied depending on his mood. Then he was usually at the studio until 1am, sometimes 2am. Then he’d come back and just sleep. Nobody knows if he eats at any point in the studio because when Beomgyu is focused, he’s focused .

They delve into a quiet understanding. Sometimes, Yeonjun takes out Beomgyu’s cereal and leaves it out for him. Sometimes, Beomgyu organizes the shoe rack when he comes home so Yeonjun can easily find his shoes that he usually haphazardly places on an empty spot. 

Beomgyu and Yeonjun’s relationship also improved significantly. They spend more time together than they originally planned to, occasionally watching a movie together or bringing an extra cup of coffee for the other to drink. 

One day, when Yeonjun’s really bored, he calls Soobin to talk to him about menial stories.

“...and that’s how my dance partner sprained his foot. Isn’t that funny?”

Soobin’s bright laughter echoes from the phone. “That’s really funny, hyung. It feels like I haven’t talked to you in ages.” 

Yeonjun hums in acknowledgement. “It’s been a while, hasn’t it? I’ve been overworked and I’m still adjusting to a roommate.”

“Oh right, Beomgyu. He’s a difficult roommate.” Soobin laughs, but Yeonjun doesn’t.

“I mean…not really. Beomgyu’s not perfect, but he’s pretty easy to live with.”

“Really?” Soobin’s voice sounds incredulous, and it’s comical how high his voice went in pitch.

“Yeah, the two of us have a quiet agreement. We usually leave each other alone, but sometimes Beomgyu brings me coffee and sometimes I’ll watch a movie with him.” Yeonjun shrugs, perplexed with Soobin’s exaggerated reaction.

“Well, when I lived with Beomgyu, we were always fighting like cats and dogs. We’re the type of people who got closer with distance. The day I moved into a single dorm, I was so happy to be away from Beomgyu, even if he’s my best friend. He whined and whined about it of course, but if you ask him now, he’ll say that he’d rather die than live with me again.” Yeonjun thinks about it for a second. That’s really surprising considering how they always got along.

“So, you guys never learned to live together.”

“No, we never did. I guess we just aren’t as compatible as you guys are.” Soobin says the sentence so usually, but it stops Yeonjun in his tracks.

“Even Kai and I had lots of problems when we first moved in together. It took us over a month to figure out how to live amicably with each other, and we had already been dating for a year before we moved in together.”

Beomgyu and Yeonjun had a pretty swift compromise, taking no longer than a week, and now he enjoys living with Beomgyu. Which is a first for him, considering he always valued his own space and time. 

When he really thinks about it, it’s extremely rare for two people to slip so easily into a quiet routine without stepping on each other’s toes. 

Perhaps they really are compatible. More compatible than Soobin and Huening Kai, it seems.

———~🐻🦊~———

Yeonjun doesn’t know where all the workload came from. He really doesn’t. 

One day, he just shows up to the studio, dances with his agency, then leaves. Now, he’s expected to choreograph for a girl group’s comeback. 

The song is a deeper song, not too energetic but still high energy. And it has a seductive tempo. 

Choreographing is already a difficult task. But choreographing girl group songs is extraordinarily difficult because girl group songs have to look easy but also look sophisticated. They’re harder than most boy group dances since he has to balance elegance and energy. He can’t just give a high energy hip hop routine like he can for a boy group. He has to emphasize the body lines and add controlled dance moves that require a lot of isolations to pull off without looking like a flopping fish. 

He has his work cut out for him. As if that wasn’t enough, he also has a rigid deadline. 

Lately, he spends all day at the agency. He wakes up at 4am and comes back at 8pm just to sleep and do it all over again. 

Which means he doesn’t see anyone , not even Beomgyu, who sleeps in until 10am and stays up until 1am. When he’s awake, Beomgyu’s sleeping. And when he gets back from the agency, Beomgyu’s still at the studio. 

He shouldn’t feel bothered by it. After all, Beomgyu and Yeonjun hardly talked since they moved in—Beomgyu had harsh deadlines that he’s still trying to meet. And now Yeonjun has his deadline set out for him. 

Maybe it’s because he hasn’t even exchanged a word with Beomgyu in days, or maybe it’s because he’s ghosted everyone due to exhaustion. 

But he misses Beomgyu a lot. He would never say that out loud, especially since he doesn’t want to make Beomgyu uncomfortable. But he really, really misses Beomgyu’s company. 

Going to the agency, not yielding results, and coming home to an empty apartment are leaving Yeonjun’s mental health in shambles. 

The worst part is that he doesn’t even have the time or energy to hang out with anyone. He could call Soobin and Kai and hang out with them. They’d always say yes. Hell, he could even ask Taehyun. 

He just can’t. He doesn’t even have time to eat most days. He just dances until he feels like fainting, then he goes home and faints on his bed. He eats breakfast, and he’ll usually eat dinner (if you can call a piece of bread stuffed into his mouth while he chugs water “dinner”).

The first time he sees Beomgyu, it’s because Beomgyu had to come back since he forgot some paperwork. It was 7:32pm (don’t ask why Yeonjun remembers the exact time). He was asked to go home early to clear his head, and Beomgyu walked out of his bedroom door right as Yeonjun walked into the kitchen. 

They’re staring at each other. Beomgyu looks fine, but he knows that he probably looks horrible. Exhausted, dark circles emphasizing the unhealthy paleness to his skin that normally isn’t there. Red rimmed eyes from poor sleep quality. 

Yeonjun looks haggard, to put it nicely. And Beomgyu, the sweetheart that he is, looks incredibly concerned.

“Yeonjun-hyung, is everything okay? You don’t look too good.” Beomgyu’s voice is laced with worry.

“Are you insinuating that I, Choi Yeonjun, could ever look bad? I’m feeling perfectly fine.” Yeonjun’s voice holds the same cocky tone it usually does. Beomgyu rolls his eyes and smiles, seemingly buying it.

“Okay hyung. Just make sure to take care of yourself.” With that, Beomgyu leaves to go back to the studio. Yeonjun promptly goes to his room and sleeps. It’s the first time he gets a restful sleep in weeks. 

When he comes to the next morning, his eyes are no longer red and he can feel the typical morning headache ease away. He doesn’t know where the smell is coming from, but the house smells mouth-wateringly good .

Yeonjun steps outside, and the smell is intensified to the point where Yeonjun has no choice but to walk straight to the kitchen, foregoing brushing his teeth to see what smells so good.

Standing in the kitchen is Beomgyu, who’s sporting an apron tied tightly around his small waist. Yeonjun fights back the urge to wrap his arms around his waist in a big hug.

Or, he thought he did. Except he actually didn’t, and he just wrapped Beomgyu into a big hug, putting his head on the crook of Beomgyu’s shoulder. 

“Beomie-yah, what smells so good?” Yeonjun’s eyes are closed, still bleary from sleep. 

“Yeonjun-hyung! You’re awake! You haven’t been looking very good lately, so I decided to get baeksuk (chicken soup with herbs) to help you feel better.” 

Yeonjun wants to give Beomgyu the fattest kiss on the cheek as a thank you. But he decides that doing so would be pushing it. 

“Hyung, why don’t you go get ready and then we can eat together!” Beomgyu ushers him to the bathroom and starts setting the plates. 

Thankfully, Yeonjun leaves. Because if he stayed any longer, Beomgyu is certain his heart would have jumped out of his chest from how hard it was beating. 

When Yeonjun wrapped his arms around Beomgyu, Beomgyu swore time stopped for a second. His arms were so muscular and squeezed his midsection with a comforting tightness. He wanted to lean back into the touch, but that would really be crossing a line. Especially because Yeonjun was so sleepy that he was probably unaware of what he was doing to Beomgyu’s heart.

Yeonjun washes away the sleep with a splash of cold water to his face, then he vigorously brushes his teeth in a feeble attempt to hurry up. Yeonjun comes out right as the rice cooker dings; Beomgyu decided to make rice porridge to go with the baeksuk, an excellent choice on his part. 

Beomgyu has already set the table, so all Yeonjun has to do is grab his soup and eat. Which he does. He takes a heaping bowl of food in contrast to Beomgyu’s smaller one. 

Yeonjun shovels the food in his mouth, the hunger hitting him at full force. Beomgyu smiles at the sight. 

“Beomgyu-yah” Yeonjun says with a mouthful of rice. “Why are you awake so early?”

“I decided to wake up early so we can eat together!” Beomgyu says nonchalantly, as if he didn’t just make Yeonjun’s heart flutter a little. 

“You…woke up for me?” Yeonjun stops chewing to process the new information.

“Of course I did! You’re my h—” Beomgyu almost says husband. Almost. “You’re my hyung. You mean a lot to me. I don’t want you to suffer alone when we live together.”

Yeonjun almost cries at the sweet gesture. He gives Beomgyu a fond smile and continues shoveling food in his mouth. Yeonjun ignores the quickening beat of his heart, chalking it up to the excitement of eating good food for the first time in weeks. 

For the first time in probably years, Yeonjun leaves the apartment with his stomach full and his heart warm.

If Yeonjun thought his day was going to get worse, he was wrong.

After the fantastic morning, he danced with full fervor, drastically improving in both dance ability and choreographing ability. He was able to come up with an approved chorus and pre chorus after having hundreds of alternatives rejected. Of course, his work still wasn’t done, but he made significant progress in one day. 

He blames Beomgyu for that. His mood is a lot better and his burnout eased into a small stress instead of on the verge of a breakdown. 

He must’ve been so happy that Beomgyu brought him breakfast because he’s imagining that Beomgyu is bringing him lunch too. 

Beomgyu, standing right there at 3pm wearing a flannel and ripped jeans, holding a bag of tteokbokki and a sandwich. Wouldn’t that be nice?

When he feels a warm touch on his shoulder, he actually jumps back and is met with Beomgyu’s quizzical stare.

Wait, Beomgyu’s actually here?

“Hyung, I brought lunch. I…I was hoping we could eat together?” Beomgyu sounds scared to even ask, which is a little offensive, if not for the fact that Yeonjun looks like he could maul someone. 

It’s his game face. Every time he’s focused, he looks extremely intimidating without meaning to.

“Beomie! I’m so happy to see you here! I’d give you a hug, but…y’know” He gestures to the sweat stains that soaked through his shirt, and Beomgyu nods in understanding. Yeonjun does pet Beomgyu’s head however, which elicits a blush from the younger. 

“Let’s go sit outside. There’s a really pretty park near the agency that’s usually used by the managers. But, they eat at normal times like 12pm, so it’s empty now.”

“Sure, that sounds lovely.” 

Yeonjun finds his hand gravitating towards Beomgyu’s, whether he means to or not. Their fingers laced together, a perfect fit. Beomgyu doesn’t comment on it, and neither does Yeonjun. 

He’s just trying to make sure that Beomgyu doesn’t get lost. That’s all there is to it. Or so he likes to tell himself, even if the butterflies in his stomach contradict that. 

“Hyung, the trees look so pretty. Let’s take a selfie together.” Beomgyu scoots close to Yeonjun. Close enough that their knees brush and hips touch. Yeonjun wraps his arm around Beomgyu’s waist to bring him closer, and Beomgyu reflexively lays his head on Yeonjun’s shoulder. 

“Say, Beomgyu is a cutie!” Yeonjun laughs while Beomgyu is smiling, and he snaps the photo. 

Though Beomgyu was able to make time to bring food, he doesn’t have a lot of time left to eat. So they eat mostly in silence, with Yeonjun eating a footlong sub and eating Beomgyu’s tomatoes off of his sandwich before Beomgyu can see them. 

Beomgyu eats the tteokbokki, a content smile on his face as he chews the sweet and spicy rice cake. Beomgyu’s face is tinged red, and if you ask Beomgyu, he’ll say it’s because the tteokbokki is spicy, even though he doesn’t once reach for his drink to quench the spice.

Eventually, their time runs out. Beomgyu politely excuses himself, and Yeonjun walks him out. 

Yeonjun has a smile on his face throughout the entirety of dance practice, and the one to blame is Choi Beomgyu.

Yeonjun wants to return the favor. And since he was able to complete a significant portion of the choreography ahead of schedule, he leaves a bit early to go and pick up stir-fried beef tripe from the barbecue place next to the agency. 

He remembers once, many years ago, when Beomgyu came back from Daegu after visiting his parents. He had a healthy glow and his cheeks were slightly rounder than they were before, a beautiful sight on the usually malnourished Beomgyu. He walked with a pep in his step and he smiled more than normal, which is really saying something. 

The first thing he did when he saw Yeonjun was tell him about the wonderful trip he had. How he got to see his parents after years, and how his bird—Toto—is still doing well. How he missed his hyung and how he ate some amazing food. In particular, he remembered Beomgyu gushing over his mom’s tteokbokki and stir-fried beef tripe.

He also remembers what Beomgyu said to him before leaving for class. “One day, Yeonjun hyung, I want you to meet my parents. They’d love you.”

But that’s not important right now. What matters is the stir-fried beef tripe he’s going to give Beomgyu. Even if he has to stay up all night to give it. 

When he gets the hot beef, he puts it in his car and speeds home, not wanting any of the freshness to dissipate before Beomgyu can sink his teeth into the marinated meat. 

As soon as he opens the door, he hears the sound of rustling, which is a good thing, because that means Beomgyu is home.

But when he sees why there’s so much rustling, he realizes that it’s not a good thing. Because Beomgyu is currently setting takeout boxes on the table. 

“Hyung! You’re back!” Beomgyu gives him a wide grin, a look of surprise evident by his raised eyebrows. 

“Oh Beomie! You’re home early.” Yeonjun’s equally surprised, holding the hot takeout bag with a sheepish smile. 

“I went to the studio at the same time as you this morning so I could come home early. I wanted to eat dinner with you, too.”

Yeonjun actually feels his eyes water at the sentimental gesture. “I wanted to eat dinner with you too. Which is why I brought this.” He holds up the bag of tripe, which makes Beomgyu’s eyes widen like saucers. 

“Oh hyung. I brought this.” He lifts a bag of stir-fried beef as well. They essentially brought the same thing.

“Oh. Glad to see we still share the same brain cell.” Yeonjun says jokingly. Back in college, Taehyun would insist that Yeonjun and Beomgyu shared the same brain cell all the time. 

Beomgyu laughs loudly at that, which pulls a laugh from Yeonjun. They play rock paper scissors to see who eats what. Yeonjun wins, so they eat beef tripe first, then they agree to eat the beef stir-fry for breakfast the next day.

Now, Yeonjun always buys breakfast, and Beomgyu buys dinner in return. Lunch is a more sporadic encounter—a treat for a particularly difficult day. 

When Soobin found out about their eating arrangements, he quipped, “You guys eat together more often than Kai and I do.”

To which Beomgyu replied, “I guess that makes us a better married couple than you two.” And for good measure, he pulled his eye down and stuck his tongue out. 

If Soobin wasn’t so happy to see their relationship develop, he would’ve hit Beomgyu in the head.

———~🐻🦊~———

Beomgyu should’ve seen this coming. Really, he should’ve. 

Every morning, he’d wake up with a splitting headache. And he’d just take a Tylenol to deal with it later. Then, when his stomach would curl after eating the slightest bit of food, he chalked it up to stress. When his hunger went away abnormally, he just assumed it was because he wasn’t moving around as much so his hunger subsided. 

But a full-blown fever at 3am and intense night sweats? Yeah, he can’t ignore that anymore. Clearly, there were symptoms of sickness. 

But truth be told, he can’t afford regular checkups. He’s an independent producer that isn’t signed to a professional company. Though he gets to keep more of the royalties he makes from songs, he also has horrible health insurance, if you could even call it that. 

He has a healthcare savings account that’s exempt from taxation. That’s pretty much it. So if he wants to go to the doctor, he has to pay the full amount, unless he qualifies for government subsidization. Unfortunately, that only occurs in dire circumstances.

And having daily migraines and gastric distress don’t qualify as dire circumstances. 

When he lived with his parents, he really took his health for granted. His parents frequently purchased vitamin supplements and red ginseng packets. They forced him to go to annual checkups and the dentist twice a year. 

Now, he goes to the dentist once a year (if even), and he hasn’t been to the doctor in years. Not since college.  

He’s only been to the hospital once in his entire life because he fainted and someone frantically called an ambulance for him. And the bill was so high that he swore never to go back unless he absolutely had to. 

He kinda wishes he got a checkup, though. Because he’s suffering. His body aches, he burns at an intense fever he’s never felt before, and his stomach constantly teeters between acidic burning and overwhelming churning. He crawls out of bed, gags through a shot of NyQuil, and tries to sleep his pain away. 

The sleep he has is one of the worst he’s ever had. That would be putting it lightly. Frantic tossing and turning but never waking up. His sinuses are congested, so his breathing is reduced to completely open-mouthed. Although he remembers feeling the dry mouth throughout the night, he doesn’t remember having enough energy to grab a glass of water. 

When he comes to, his mouth tastes like sandpaper and his throat lacks any moisture. Coughing only worsens the pain. His head throbs from drowsiness as a side effect from both the fever and NyQuil. his curtains are opened and he feels a warm hand on his head. When he blinks his eyes open, he sees Yeonjun’s face with furrowed eyebrows and swollen lips. 

“Beomie-yah!”

“Hyung? What are you doing here?” Beomgyu’s brain feels like mush. He can’t even formulate a single coherent thought.

“Do you know what time it is?” Beomgyu looks around, or he tries to anyway. His head only lolls side to side while he rolls his eyes slowly to get a better look. 

“I have no clue hyung.” Beomgyu giggles, almost like he’s drunk.

“It’s 1:34pm. Did you not notice me coming in here?” 

Beomgyu has a delayed realization that his forehead holds a damp towel, his throat is lubricated with VapoRub, and his sinuses feel surprisingly clearer. Did Yeonjun drain them?

“Tch, you still feel so warm! How’d you even get this sick?” Yeonjun chews his lips, and Beomgyu can’t help but think that his lips look very nice right now.

“Heh, my lips are very nice. But I think you’re just saying that because you’re sick.” Why did Yeonjun say that?

Wait, did he say that out loud?

“Yes you did. Here, open your mouth so I can place this thermometer under your tongue.” Beomgyu obediently opens his mouth and Yeonjun sticks the thermometer under his tongue.

Then he makes preparations around the room, leaving bottles of water on his bedside table, allowing leftover baeksuk to warm up, and wrapping Beomgyu in multiple warm blankets.

“Beomgyu-yah. How’d you end up like this? You’re really sick. Your fever is 40 Celsius (104 Fahrenheit). You should go to the hospital.” Yeonjun’s clearly very worried about Beomgyu. More than Beomgyu is about himself. 

Yeonjun’s absentmindedly stroking the top of Beomgyu’s hair, and Beomgyu subconsciously leans into the action.

“I can’t hyung.” Beomgyu croacks out. “I don’t have health insurance.”

“What? What do you mean you don’t have insurance?”

“I’m an independent producer, I don’t work at an agency so I don’t have one.” Beomgyu’s voice is hoarse, barely audible. 

“Why didn’t you say anything? I would’ve put you on my plan!”

“What?” Beomgyu sits up as much as he physically can. “Why would you put me on your plan?”

“I work at an agency, and a big one at that. And you’re my husband. Of course I can easily put you on my plan.” Beomgyu’s flushes red at the word “husband” but he can just pretend it’s from the fever.

“Really? You’d do that for me?” Beomgyu’s genuinely touched at the gesture. Of course, the premiums don’t rise with the addition of family members, and Beomgyu knows it’s not a big deal. But health insurance is something private, only reserved for someone you trust a lot. 

And Yeonjun did so with no hesitation. The thought made his heart flutter.  

“I don’t want to go to the hospital, hyung. It’s too expensive.” Beomgyu eyes water—from sentimentality or from sickness, Beomgyu doesn’t know exactly which one. 

“Beomgyu-yah—” Yeonjun heaves a heavy sigh and resigns. “I won’t force you to go. But I’m still putting you on my insurance. I don’t want you to become this sick again.” Then Yeonjun steps out of the room to make a phone call. 

Although it’s not good to eavesdrop, Yeonjun didn’t even bother to close his door while making the phone call. 

“Hello? Yes, Miyeon-ssi? This is Choi Yeonjun, policy manager for health insurance account number 028918. I wish to add a spouse onto my plan…Yes, we have a legally registered marriage license. My husband’s name is Choi Beomgyu. Born on March 13th. That’s correct. Alright, how long will it take for the change to take effect? Okay, thank you very much. Have a nice day.” Then Yeonjun hangs up the call. 

Beomgyu expects Yeonjun to walk in and tell him that he’s going to leave for work now. What he doesn’t expect is Yeonjun to make another phone call. 

“Manager Jisoo, I can’t come into work today. I’m taking a sick da—What do you mean I can’t take work off? I finished most of the choreography anyways and we’re ahead of schedule. Just ask the girls to spend extra time on vocals and English lessons…Look, I’m not coming in today, and you can’t make me either. I don’t answer to you, I called you as a courtesy so you’re not caught off guard.” 

The manager must have said something to piss Yeonjun off, because he starts yelling into the phone. 

“Look, you listen to me. My fucking husband is incredibly sick and I am going to take care of him. I don’t care what you think. My husband is more important to me than this job, and if you’re going to fire me over it, then so be it. Find another choreography for the song for all I care. I’m hanging up now. My decision is final.” Yeonjun immediately hangs up the phone and retreats to his bedroom. 

Before Beomgyu falls asleep, he sees Yeonjun sitting in a comfortable bean bag chair beside his bed, clad in sweatpants and a baggy T-shirt. The T-shirt was clearly the first shirt he could find. The front of it says, “Cha-ching! I got a$$”, a gag gift Huening Kai bought for him many years ago. He takes a picture of Yeonjun in the shirt and sends it to Kai before Yeonjun snatches his phone and tells him to go to sleep.

Although Beomgyu slept most of the day away, not once did he wake up without Yeonjun’s watchful gaze. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Yeonjun diligently cared for Beomgyu through his entire sickness. Even when Beomgyu vomited in his freshly washed car on the way to the doctor’s office. It was a good decision to drag Beomgyu there, because the infection had started to spread, and it would’ve been impossible to treat without meds. 

In fact, if Beomgyu waited any longer, he would’ve been hospitalized with sepsis. That’s a scary thought he doesn’t want to dwell on for too long, especially considering the fact that if Beomgyu was living alone, he would’ve attempted to deal with his sickness at home. 

He was really lucky that Yeonjun was persistent enough to make him go to the doctor. When Yeonjun heard the doctor say that, he placed a protective hand on Beomgyu’s shoulder. Then he kept saying, “I told you to go to the doctor. I told you so!” 

Yeonjun even takes a selfie and sends it to their friend group chat, with the caption, “I’m always right. Beomgyu should always listen to his hyung 😎”

Beomgyu would’ve rolled his eyes if he wasn’t too sick to do so. That, and Yeonjun is absolutely correct. 

After taking his prescription for the recommended amount of time, Beomgyu felt back to normal. Not once did Yeonjun complain about taking care of him. The only thing he said to Beomgyu after it all was, “Beomie, you need to take better care of yourself. Let me take care of you if you’re feeling ill.” 

Yeonjun didn’t even tell Soobin. Which is really saying something, because if Soobin knew, he would’ve marched over and yelled at Beomgyu for bothering Yeonjun, then he would’ve gotten even angrier that Beomgyu didn’t take care of himself. 

Soobin always had a funny way of showing his affection to Beomgyu. 

After Beomgyu’s difficult recovery period, they formed an intertwined routine that was far more codependent than before. Their eating routines still remained the same, breakfast and dinner together daily with the occasional lunch. 

Now, they run errands for each other. Beomgyu picks up groceries from the large supermarket that’s on the way home. Yeonjun sends him a detailed grocery list. 

Instead of having separate hampers, they have a larger, shared hamper that Yeonjun takes to the laundromat. He also folds all the laundry and separates it into piles. They even clean the house together instead of taking turns like they used to. 

Beomgyu learned a lot of cute eccentricities about Yeonjun through their routines. Such as the fact that Yeonjun dances while he’s mopping, which is one of the funniest things Beomgyu has ever seen. He shakes his hips side-to-side like someone who’s never danced a day in his life. And if the song is a bit suggestive or sexual, he’ll pretend like the mop is a stripper pole, walking around it while staring Beomgyu in the eyes, occasionally dropping down into a squat and trying to twerk. It would be sexy if Yeonjun wasn’t clad in oversized gloves and stained, oversized clothes, comically exaggerating his facial expressions as he dances.

When Yeonjun does his laundry, he likes to have a very specific combination of smells when he’s doing the laundry. Beomgyu once made the mistake of buying the generic detergent instead of the brand Yeonjun typically buys, and Yeonjun refused to do laundry with it. Yeonjun returned it and purchased the branded detergent the same day. 

Yeonjun sometimes neglects to add treats he really wants to get. Mostly to avoid inconveniencing Beomgyu. But Beomgyu always knows exactly when he wants to splurge and get the fancy ramen that costs two dollars per pack instead of just 50 cents. He knows when to get the nice sausages instead of the gross hot dogs. 

Or maybe Beomgyu always buys them so he can spoil Yeonjun; Yeonjun always looks surprised and excited to see the extra groceries, and that’s a look he really doesn’t get to see often. 

The best part about their intertwined routines is the uptick in memorable moments between the two of them. Beomgyu has so many pictures of him taking a selfie while Yeonjun is throwing it back in the background. Or videos of Yeonjun staring at sausages like he hasn’t eaten for days. 

And when Beomgyu accumulates enough photos, he goes to the photo center right next to the supermarket. Each photo gets printed in secret and placed carefully in his photo album. Before, there were only a few pictures. But now, the album is halfway full. It’s more like a marriage album than a memories album since 90% of the photos were taken after they got married. 

The first picture he took with him after they got married was at the park while they were eating lunch. It’s his favorite photo in the album. The most sentimental memory he has with Yeonjun. The one he wants to recreate over and over again. He runs his fingers fondly over the photo, then hides the photo book before Yeonjun questions his prolonged disappearance. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Beomgyu’s a considerate person. That’s a fact everyone knew. He goes out of his way to help people, takes extra care to cheer them up, and he reassures them when they’re feeling down. 

But when it comes to Yeonjun, Beomgyu tries to amplify those traits. Mostly because he sees Yeonjun struggle so much and never ask for help. Partly because Yeonjun holds a special place in his heart. 

It’s usually simple things—tidying Yeonjun’s room when he’s not home, wiping down the kitchen table when it gets sticky, always making sure there’s ramen in the pantry. 

Sometimes, it’s much grander things. 

Like today. Beomgyu wants everything to go perfectly. Yeonjun took off too many days at work (to take care of Beomgyu) and today is the last day to perfect the choreography before the artist’s debut tomorrow. Which means he gets a few days off this week to rest since he won’t be needed during promotions. 

Beomgyu sets to work.

First, he cleans the entire apartment from top to bottom, taking extra care to scrub the corners that are often neglected. He lights scented candles throughout the house so that it smells like fresh peaches.

He sanitizes the bathroom: cleaning the toilet, polishing the sink faucet, unclogging the bathtub drain (there was so much hair that Beomgyu gagged seeing the soggy, rotting hairballs), scrubbing the bathtub from top to bottom, and mopping the tiled floors. Sweat beads on his eyebrow from physical exertion, but he doesn’t have time to slow down. He’s been cleaning the apartment for 4 hours and he only has 3 left before Yeonjun gets back. 

Beomgyu splurges a little on the next gifts (read: splurges a lot ). He buys premium bath bombs with complimenting bath salts that soften the skin and paint the bathtub into a beautiful galaxy with purple, blue, and white colors. Then he buys the spicy ramen he knows Yeonjun really loves—the expensive ramen from the ramen stand nearby that has extra beef. Then he buys a deluxe peach body wash+bubble bath+scented lotion set so Yeonjun can feel refreshed after a shower; Yeonjun really likes to layer on scents, so Beomgyu has to buy them all from the same store. And to wrap it all up, he buys lavender scented shampoo and conditioner that does a really good job of cleaning sweat and grime from the hair strands. Perfect for Yeonjun after a sweaty day of intense dancing. He takes the soaps and shampoos and places them in a neat gift basket, adding a small handwritten note and a cutely tied ribbon. 

To set the scene, he decoratively places the candles in anticipation of Yeonjun’s arrival, which should be any minute now. Right as Beomgyu puts down the last candle, he hears the door lock click. Perfect, Yeonjun’s home, right in time.

When Yeonjun unlocks the front door, he’s greeted with the smell of peaches and Beomgyu standing in front of him. He’s grinning so brightly, and Yeonjun’s so tired. Too tired to think. Too tired to stop himself from grabbing Beomgyu in his arms and hugging him tightly. 

Too tired to stop himself from breathing in the scent of peaches mixed with Beomgyu. The only smell he wants to smell forever. 

All the exhaustion and tightness from his muscles fade away when Beomgyu wraps his arms around Yeonjun. His head fits perfectly on the crook of Yeonjun’s shoulder, exactly where it belongs. Beomgyu’s the first to pull away, and Yeonjun almost pouts until Beomgyu grabs his hands and walks over to the bathroom, where a bathtub filled with steaming water and bath salts awaits him. Beomgyu places a round object in his hands, which feels sandy and compacted. When he looks down, he sees a beautiful bath bomb that smells so good. Almost as good as Beomgyu. 

“Hyung, I know you’ve been extremely overworked lately, and you’ve taken such good care of me. I want to take care of you, too. I always want to take care of you.” Beomgyu stops himself from saying more, simply because the next words on his tongue were incredibly romantic in nature. 

Yeonjun’s too touched for words. He opts to hug Beomgyu again, this time, the hug is conscious and tight. It’s a hug that completely restricts Beomgyu’s movements. He lets out a muffled sentence, “Thank you so much Beomie. You’re the best h—friend I could ever ask for.” Beomgyu couldn’t hear the sentence though and assumes it’s a sentence of gratitude. 

“Take as long of a bath as you want, then come to the kitchen when you’re done. I’ll be waiting for you!” With that, Beomgyu leaves. 

When Yeonjun sinks into the bathtub, the water is the perfect temperature—a feat Yeonjun himself can’t even accomplish. He sighs all the stress away and leans his head back, allowing the lavender-smelling water to overtake his nerves. The knots and aches in his back slowly unwork themselves as Yeonjun sinks all the way down. He never wants to leave this perfect haven, but he also wants to see what else Beomgyu has in store for him, so he can’t stay forever.

Yeonjun spends so long in the bathtub that his fingers prune and the water feels lukewarm to the touch. That’s his cue to finish the bath, so he washes his hair with the last remnants of his clarifying shampoo and cheap conditioner before draining the water and tossing the empty bottles in the trash. 

Yeonjun dries himself off with the fluffy towel and opens the door with the intention of calling out and asking for his clothes when he notices a gift basket beside the door, and a stack of warm, comfortable clothes sitting right next to it. The clothes smell like they just came out of the dryer, and they feel like it too, the best feeling in the whole world. 

He notices a small handwritten note attached to the basket and picks it up. Its contents are simple: “Hyung, you’ve been working very hard. Let Beomie take care of you <3” But it’s the only thing Yeonjun wants to hear. He takes his phone case off and gingerly folds it in there, hoping to revisit it when he’s having a difficult day.

Yeonjun walks out of the bathroom feeling like he was reborn. Of course, he can’t get rid of the deeper aches and knots, but his body feels boneless and euphoric, like he’s floating on clouds. He’s sporting an oversized T-shirt and loose shorts, perfect clothes to match the sensation. 

He expected Beomgyu to bring him food. But he didn’t expect Beomgyu to bring him the premium quality spicy miso ramen with beef filet. He especially didn’t expect there to be extra beef. 

Yeonjun’s stomach growls, and Yeonjun dives right in, slurping the broth and shoving noodles in his mouth. His cheeks are puffed out like a chipmunk from the beef and noodle combination. Beomgyu sneaks in a few pictures, the familiar click of the camera shutter registering faintly in Yeonjun’s mind, but not enough to pull him from his eating. 

Yeonjun wasn’t able to eat all day. He was hardly able to eat a slice of toast for breakfast with Beomgyu before running out, promising to spend more time with him later in the day. 

Yeonjun cleans the bowl. Not a single drop of broth nor crumb of food remain in the bowl. It’s almost as clean as it was in the cabinet. If Beomgyu didn’t just see Yeonjun eat the entire bowl of ramen, he would’ve assumed the bowl was clean. 

Beomgyu cleans the ramen bowl and heads to Yeonjun’s bedroom where Yeonjun is already lying down. He plops down on the edge of Yeonjun’s bed, sitting right next to the gift basket that sits delicately on the dresser. 

“So hyung…how do you feel?” Beomgyu leans forward expectantly. 

“Honestly, I feel better than I’ve felt in years. I can’t even remember the last time I took a bath for that long. Hell, I can’t even remember the last time I had someone to take care of me.” Yeonjun laughs a hearty laugh at his poor memory. “It feels nice to have someone like you around.” Yeonjun’s expression is a wistful smile, and Beomgyu’s heart lurches at the prospect of being a special presence in Yeonjun’s life. 

Yeonjun leans over to grab the charger from the nightstand and winces, muttering a soft curse.

“Hyung? What’s the matter?” Beomgyu leans sideways to inspect Yeonjun’s body.

“Nothing unusual. I have a lot of achy muscles and knots in my back that need a solid set of hands to undo.” Yeonjun says dismissively with a wave before plugging his phone in.  

“Hyung. Do you trust me?” Beomgyu’s voice is suddenly very serious, and it puts Yeonjun off.

“Of course I do. Why?” Yeonjun’s voice is inquisitive, but there’s no trace of wariness. 

“Okay, lay on your stomach and close your eyes.” Beomgyu speaks with an unfamiliar authority. And although Yeonjun is puzzled, he does as Beomgyu tells him to do. 

He hears the sounds of rustling, a bottle cap opening, hands rubbing together, then he feels calloused hands underneath his shirt, directly on his back.

Beomgyu’s giving him a massage. Not just any massage, a really good one. Better than any massage he’s ever had. 

He shouldn’t be surprised. Beomgyu is a musician after all, with nimble fingers and a strong grip. Beomgyu’s slowly working his way up, but stops right below the sore spot beneath his neck. Yeonjun wants to whine, but he can’t be ungrateful. 

“Hyung, I can’t reach your neck. Is it okay if I sit on your back?” Yeonjun doesn’t even think twice before giving him a thumbs up. 

Except maybe he should’ve. Because now, Beomgyu’s straddling him. He can feel Beomgyu’s muscular thighs bracketing his waist, and he’s gingerly sitting on Yeonjun’s ass. 

This situation is incredibly sexual, and Yeonjun would be extremely turned on if it weren’t for his complete lack of energy. Still, Yeonjun’s ears are completely red, and Beomgyu’s hands shake a little as he keeps working his way up. 

The sexual tension remains high, but Beomgyu’s skilled ministrations undo the knots that Yeonjun had persistently ignored. Beomgyu also provides comfortable background music, humming random melodies under his breath with that enticing deep voice that Yeonjun enjoys hearing every single day. 

Today has been one of the best days of Yeonjun’s life. He finished his first choreography for a group’s title track, a feat that’s only accomplished by the most skilled choreographers. Then he comes home and is greeted with the sight of Beomgyu, who clearly put in so much effort and time to prepare this surprise for him. Just so he could have the chance to relax. Beomgyu had no reason or obligation to do so, but he did anyway. 

Beomgyu always knew exactly what Yeonjun needed. 

The feeling of finally being able to properly relax for the first time in years lulls Yeonjun into the most peaceful sleep he’s gotten in his life. 

The gifts seamlessly integrated into Yeonjun’s daily life, a symptom of the impactful presence of Beomgyu that seems to grow by the day. Beomgyu smiles every time he smells the lingering peach in the bathroom or the lavender fragrance every time they sit next to each other. 

And every time Yeonjun takes a bath or uses the peach scented lotion or washes his hair with the lavender shampoo, his heart flutters because he always thinks about Beomgyu. 

———~🐻🦊~———

As a professional songwriter, Beomgyu’s well aware of the impact that words have on a person’s emotions. He chooses his carefully in professional settings, giving him accolades in the industry for being one of the best songwriters.

Beomgyu’s not someone to take criticism too personally. Sure, he’s a bit sensitive at times. But when it comes to work criticism, he generally takes it with a pleasant attitude and understanding that it’s not personal at all. In fact, he often welcomes the blunt criticism of others. 

Lately, the criticism feels like blatant attacks from unprepared managers who expected him to have the solutions to the problems they created. 

When they asked for a breakup song, Beomgyu gave them exactly that: a breakup song that’s rife with emotion and anguish. 

But they didn’t like it, instead asking for a song about the one that got away. Which he also wrote: a song about melancholy and nostalgia, using chords with a distinct 2000s feel to it. This song was the one he wrote about Yeonjun after his discussion with Taehyun, and it was one of his favorite songs. 

Yet the managers disliked that too, saying it’s too emotional. So they completely switched the tune, asking for a song that’s upbeat and energetic. Which Beomgyu produced as well: bubblegum, cheery music with a fast tempo in A major. 

Which the managers didn’t like either. And instead of giving more specificity or useful critique, they just called him to berate him for the better part of an hour. 

“I don’t understand why it’s so difficult for you to produce a song that mirrors the quality of the song you produced for us last year. We gave you multiple options and you failed to deliver on any of them. The quality of your music matches that of a novice producer. When we were given your contact to write this song, we were elated because we were already familiar with the quality of your songs. Yet, I find that this quality has dramatically diminished in recent experiences. If you can’t get your act together by the end of this week, then we will go and find someone else, anyone else , to do the simple task of making a decent song.” Beomgyu isn’t even able to get a word in before they rudely hang up.

It’s not even the fact that they berated him that bothers him. It’s the fact that he is clearly sending high quality songs, but since he’s working with a highly successful agency, they just bulldoze over him in order to force him to make exactly what they want, even if it means losing his artistic charm.

Most of the time, they don’t even pay him adequately, but he accepts the work he can take since it’s better than the alternative of not working. 

It’s extremely late, much later than he normally stays, but he can’t be bothered to get up and leave. He’s too miserable and just sits there. 

He doesn’t know the exact time though, and he might as well order some pizza so he has energy to continue working. When he picks up his phone, the time reads 11:42pm, almost 4 hours later than he usually stays. Below that lies a notification for 6 missed calls from Yeonjun and then a series of texts. 

my favorite hyung (´• ω •`) ♡
hey beomie, is everything okay?
do u kno when u’ll be home for dinner?
i’ll wait for u ^-^
u kno what i dont want u to work urself to death
im omw rn
[10:31pm]

me
hyung you don’t have to do that!!!!
i’m fine!! really!! :)
hyung? are you asleep?

Unsurprisingly, Beomgyu gets left on delivered. Sighing, he tosses his phone to the side and feels a rising loneliness that stings his throat. That, or it’s bile. Or it’s the tears that threaten to spill out. 

He’s having a breakdown. A bad one at that. It’s even more embarrassing for Beomgyu because he’s shivering in the middle of the cold studio, wrapping his arms around himself at a place anyone can see him at. And he’s just pathetically sobbing, wailing, body-wracking cries that can be heard from anyone nearby. 

He hears the door open and freezes before hearing the familiar comfort of a nasally voice. 

“Beomie-yah?”

“Hyung…” Beomgyu’s voice is feeble and thick with tears. Yeonjun rushes forward and wraps a beige cardigan around him. It’s not just any cardigan—it’s the cardigan he purchased years ago with Beomgyu on a random shopping spree, the same one Taehyun berated him for. 

Yeonjun had originally planned to take him out to drink at a bar to celebrate the progress they both made, or the progress he thought they both made. At the bar, he wanted to wear matching cardigans, just for sentimental value (mostly because Beomgyu made an offhand comment about how the blue would look good on Yeonjun, and he wanted to see Beomgyu in the oversized beige cardigan). 

Beomgyu’s swimming in the baggy, soft fabric. He’s drowning in the smell of Yeonjun, a smell that makes his eyes water more and the tears run down his face. He wants to wipe the tears away, but he doesn’t want to soil Yeonjun’s expensive cardigan. 

Yeonjun doesn’t share the same reservations, though. Because he uses his own cardigan to gently wipe away the tears and snot that cover his face. 

Beomgyu looks pathetic. That he knows. But Yeonjun isn’t looking at him with a hint of disgust. Instead, he’s looking at him with adoration and concern. 

Beomgyu leans into the touch, and Yeonjun pulls him into his arms, letting Beomgyu cry into the front of his cardigan. 

“Beomie, why don’t we go home? I brought you some food, and if you’re not hungry, you can just relax in bed. I even brought you corn silk tea.” Beomgyu’s ears perk up at the thought of snuggling in bed with a warm cup of tea. He nods slowly, and Yeonjun rubs his back in reply. 

“Good choice, Gyu-bear. My car’s waiting outside.” Yeonjun helps Beomgyu up, grabs all of his belongings, shuts the lights, and walks with Beomgyu to the car. Beomgyu doesn’t comment on the use of Gyu-bear, but he definitely files it away for later. 

The car ride is silent except for Yeonjun’s occasional humming. Beomgyu’s completely silent, not even humming along to one of his favorite songs that Yeonjun puts on in an attempt to cheer him up. 

When they arrive at their apartment, Beomgyu moves robotically, shuffling to the bathroom, brushing his teeth, grabbing a bottle of water, changing into pajamas. 

Beomgyu just lies down in bed and allows the tears to roll down the sides of his cheeks. His eyes are closed, and if he were listening intently, he would hear Yeonjun’s footsteps. Instead, he feels the dip of the bed beside him and opens his eyes to see Yeonjun sitting right next to him. 

“Beomgyu-yah, do you want to talk about what’s wrong? I’m always happy to listen.” Yeonjun places a hand on Beomgyu’s shoulder, and that’s all it takes for the floodgates to open. 

“Yeonjun-hyung, I know I’m not a failure. But it’s not fair. It’s not fair that the managers can just yell at me all the time because they don’t like the songs I make. They always change their requests at the last minute and expect me to drop everything to fit their arbitrary deadlines that I can’t possibly meet. And then they don’t pay me the proper amount, but I have no power to contest anything and I’m so desperate that I can’t even fight for a better paycheck. I’m just so tired.” Beomgyu’s voice cracks with the last sentence, and Yeonjun’s heart breaks into a million pieces. 

“Beomgyu-yah, can I hear your song?”

“Sure, it’s on my phone.” Beomgyu hands Yeonjun his phone, which he unlocks with his own face since they exchanged Face IDs at dinner once. 

Yeonjun places an AirPod in his right ear and listens to the songs. The first song—a breakup song—sounds a little distant, but the raw emotions of heartbreak are still present. He feels angry at some imaginary boyfriend or girlfriend that ended things on a whim, exactly the way it’s described in the song. He can already imagine a contemporary-styled choreography that would fit this song really well.

The second song—a cheerful bubblegum song—makes him laugh. Mostly because Beomgyu’s deep voice overlaid on upbeat, high-pitched music is incredibly funny. He oddly likes this one, even if he doesn’t prefer bubblegum energetic music. 

The third song—a nostalgic song—makes Yeonjun’s heart stop in his chest. This song is clearly personal, the raw sound of Beomgyu filtering through the earbuds and telling him a story about a long lost first love that he let go for the sake of friendship, but who’s hitting him again at full force, and he wants to have him, but he thinks it’s too late. The song almost makes a tear roll down his face. 

He sends all three songs to himself and emails it to the agency so they can consider purchasing the songs. 

Beomgyu looks up at Yeonjun expectantly, and Yeonjun rambles about each song. 

“Your first song about the breakup was so heartfelt and painful. I felt the pang in my chest as if the breakup was one that I actually experienced in real life. I know that only an excellent producer and songwriter would be able to pull off such a feat—getting the listener to feel an emotion they’ve never experienced before takes unreal levels of both talent and skill. I’m so amazed you were able to pull it off.” Beomgyu looks up at Yeonjun, starry eyed and hopeful, so Yeonjun continues. 

“The second song was cute. Cheerful and radiant, just like you. I normally don’t like upbeat songs like that one, even if they’re a lot easier to dance to. But this time, I found myself listening to the entire song and imagining your bright laugh that brightens up my life. This song is distinctly yours as well.” Beomgyu smiles at that, and Yeonjun takes a deep breath before he discusses the third song. 

“The third song…” Beomgyu’s breath hitches, and Yeonjun glances down at him before continuing, “The third song was by far my favorite of the three. I love how you added so many mood changes that were subtle yet immediately felt. The metaphors were also very interesting, too. If I didn’t know any better, I’d assume you used this song about someone you knew in real life. I want to bottle this song up and carry it with me forever, because I’ve never had a song evoke such a strong emotional response from me.” Beomgyu’s crying had completely stopped, and he looks up at Yeonjun with the most heart-tugging expression he’s ever seen. 

Yeonjun instinctively strokes Beomgyu’s head, which elicits a small smile from the sleepy boy. 

“Alright Beomgyu-yah. I’m gonna let you sleep now. Thank you for letting me listen to your music. I really loved it all, and I’m glad you showed me something so important to you.” As any artist knows, the unfinished WIPs are the most difficult to share so openly. 

As Yeonjun stands up, he feels a hand grab his wrist and tug. Yeonjun looks over his shoulder to see a pleading look on Beomgyu’s face.

“Hyung, can you stay with me? Just for today.” Beomgyu’s looking up at Yeonjun with such a broken expression, oddly resembling a kicked puppy. How could Yeonjun say no?

Not that he wanted to. 

“I can do that. Just give me a second to brush my teeth and then I—” Beomgyu wraps his other hand and tugs sharply down, sending Yeonjun tumbling onto the bed. 

“There’s no need to do that. Just stay here with me.” Beomgyu’s eyes flutter shut, and Yeonjun can feel his heart in his throat from how pretty Beomgyu is and how close his face is. He can feel the soft breaths from Beomgyu on his face. He can hear his own heartbeat in his ears, the blood roaring through. 

Beomgyu was always pretty, but was Beomgyu always this pretty? An ethereal presence. Yeonjun reaches for his phone and takes a quick photo, making sure to mute it. When Yeonjun settles comfortably into the bed, Beomgyu nuzzles into his chest. Consciously or unconsciously, Yeonjun has no clue which. Either way, it’s a welcome change, and Yeonjun hesitantly places a hand on Beomgyu’s waist, and Beomgyu sighs contentedly in response. Yeonjun smiles at the relaxed demeanor and closes his eyes, allowing sleep to overtake him.

When Beomgyu wakes up, it’s to the sight of a sleeping Yeonjun snuggled close to him, his arms wrapped around him and one leg thrown over Beomgyu’s thighs. 

Thankfully, his phone is within reach. He opens the camera and snags a selfie, tilting his head so it rests on Yeonjun’s chest, which was the exact way he woke up. 

Later, Beomgyu gets a message from Yeonjun’s agency expressing their interest in the samples they received. Beomgyu isn’t stupid; he knows Yeonjun sent in the samples. And the gesture alone is deeply touching. Plus, they actually offered to pay him a reasonable amount. Actually, that’s an understatement—they offered to pay him double what he would’ve gotten from the other managers. 

He swiftly agrees, breaks off contact with the other managers, and begins working on the song. At the request of the agency, he changes the lyrics but keeps the instrumental the same. They ask for a song about one who got away that you can’t contact anymore. 

Later, the song will become a popular B-Side for their boy group’s newest mini-album. The song’s title: “Ghosting”. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Time flies by extraordinarily fast when you’re not paying attention. One moment, Beomgyu and Yeonjun are awkwardly getting married, hardly speaking to one another. The next? They’re about to celebrate Yeonjun’s birthday months later, still a married couple that’s settled into a beneficial routine. 

The plan this year is simple—go to a bar and get wasted. Yeonjun’s request. 

Soobin wanted to throw a big party: Yeonjun’s the first in the friend group to graduate from the 20s and become 30 years old! But Yeonjun begged him not to throw a party, mostly because he just wanted to have a small get together with his friends who he hasn’t seen in a while. 

Well, except Beomgyu, but they’re more than friends. They’re married for crying out loud. It’d be weird if they didn’t see each other frequently. 

Yeonjun and Beomgyu drive together, and Taehyun rides with Soobin and Kai. Since today is Yeonjun’s birthday, Beomgyu volunteered to be the designated driver. And because Taehyun knows Soobin and Kai very well, he accepts his unspoken rule of being their driver. 

As soon as they arrive to the bar, they get ID’d by the bartender. Soobin and Kai order a row of shots, obviously trying to get wasted from the get go. 

Yeonjun, on the other hand, likes his fruity drinks that sneak up on you and make you completely wasted. He pulls out his ID, and the bartender squints before reading his name out loud. 

“Choi Yeonjun?” his voice sounds slightly amused, but Yeonjun makes no note of it.

“Uhh, yes? That’s me…” 

“And you’re 30 years old today, is that correct?” 

“Yes, it says it right here.” Yeonjun points to the birthdate under his license photo. 

“Okay, perfect. A man named Choi Beomgyu asked me to do this.” The bartender reaches under the table and grabs a small cake from the fridge. 

It’s a mix of purple and blue fondant with white frosting that reads, “Happy birthday, Yeonjun-hyung!” in neat cursive. Soobin, Taehyun, and Kai all look at each other with an amused expression on their faces, but Beomgyu’s looking at Yeonjun’s excited expression that shines with the sparkling candles. In the dim light of the bar and the bright light from the sparklers, Yeonjun looks angelic, his face lighting up and his eyes shining brightly. All 4 of them take out their phones and snap pictures of Yeonjun trying (and failing) to blow out the 30 candles that Beomgyu insisted on lighting. At least it’s edible wax.

Taehyun intelligently took a video of them all to commemorate the moment. In the video, he notices that right at the end, when Taehyun starts turning the camera to turn it off, Beomgyu’s wiping frosting off of Yeonjun’s face and licking it off his finger.  That’s information Taehyun is going to use later. 

They all eat cake until there’s nothing left to eat, their stomachs full on cake. It should provide a decent buffer for all the drinks they’re about to have. 

Especially because Kai—the heavyweight of their group—challenges Yeonjun—the other heavyweight of their group—to a drinking contest. 

Kai’s most surprising characteristic is that he’s very good at handling his alcohol. When they would go out in college, Kai was always the one to lead the way when they drunkenly walked back to the dorm, acting as if he hadn't had a sip of alcohol. Soobin, however, is a total lightweight; he’s already tipsy from the few shots he’s had with Kai before the cake. 

Kai and Yeonjun are downing their drinks at alarming rates. Kai’s had about 7 shots now, and he’s still talking like nothing is wrong. Yeonjun’s had about 6 shots worth of vodka that were mixed into various fruity drinks. But Yeonjun’s clearly starting to be slightly affected, a bit spacey when someone’s talking to him.

Unsurprisingly, although it was a close contest, Kai had 11 shots and is now tipsy, giggling loudly into Taehyun’s ear about how cute he is when Soobin cuddles with him on the couch. Taehyun’s ears are bright red, especially when Soobin chimes in and starts stroking his face.

Yeonjun had 9, and now he’s totally drunk. And when Yeonjun’s drunk, he’s clingy. Very clingy. He starts pulling Beomgyu into his lap and puts his head on Beomgyu’s shoulder, laughing about nothing. His breath tickles the nape of Beomgyu’s neck, and he can’t help but bite back a giggle. 

Soobin’s hanging limply off of Taehyun and Kai, who are talking animatedly. He lifts a wobbly finger and flits it between Beomgyu and Yeonjun.

“You too.” Soobin slurs. “You too are s’cute, y’know? Acting all domestic ‘n shit. When you told me about your roomie routine, I thought you guys were just too cute ‘n married. Like perfect husbands.” Kai nods enthusiastically, but Taehyun sends Beomgyu a worried glance. 

Beomgyu’s face is completely red. Redder than the maraschino cherry that sits at the bottom of Yeonjun’s martini glass. His heart is beating so fast he can feel it thump against his ribcage. It’s like his heart is banging against the doors of his chest, practically begging to be let out. Still, he smiles it off, silently telling Taehyun that everything is alright. 

Yeonjun strokes Beomgyu’s face with the back of his hand, a tender expression of fondness on his face. Beomgyu’s eyes are squeezed shut; he’s so nervous right now. 

“Of course we are! The best husbands, better than you ‘n Kai. Why didn’t I do this earlier? Beomie’s just soooooo cute at home? I l—” Whatever else he was going to say was cute off by a hiccup, and then Yeonjun lost his train of thought.

Yeonjun changes the subject, but he’s not listening anymore. Beomgyu’s mind is racing, and he can feel his stomach flipping relentlessly. He glances over at Taehyun, who’s no longer looking at him. 

Fuck, maybe he’s not alright. 

The rest of the night proceeds with Yeonjun either hugging him, hanging off of him, or holding him. Not once did Yeonjun leave him alone, even when Beomgyu insisted he had to pee. Yeonjun just followed him into the bathroom, giggling the entire time. 

Taehyun took so many pictures of their shenanigans, mostly of Beomgyu’s cherry-red face and Yeonjun holding him. There’s a picture where Beomgyu is smiling down at Yeonjun fondly while Yeonjun looks up at him with a soft expression.

It’s so tender and real that it stops Taehyun in his tracks. At first, he was just going to tease Beomgyu, but it’s clear that he’s in too deep. They’re both in too deep. 

He immediately sends the photo to Beomgyu with the caption, “You guys look so romantic together.”

Beomgyu’s phone buzzes, but he pays no mind to it, focusing all his attention onto Yeonjun. 

After Soobin starts dozing off, they call it a night. Taehyun and Kai diligently carry Soobin to the car and stuff him unceremoniously in the backseat. Yeonjun lets Beomgyu drag him to the car. He refuses to be let go, so Beomgyu tries to negotiate with him.

“Yeonjun-hyung, we have to go home now.” Beomgyu sounds exasperated, but Yeonjun pays no mind to it.

“But I wanna stay with you. I don’t wanna go away. Don’t let me go!” Yeonjun’s voice is teary and desperate, and it pulls pathetically at Beomgyu’s weak heart. 

“How about we hold hands while I drive? I’ll be right here, okay Yeonjunnie-hyung?” Yeonjun immediately perks up at that and clambers into the front seat, holding his hand out expectantly as soon as Beomgyu closes his car door. 

Beomgyu grips his hand tightly and drives off, being extra careful while driving with one hand. 

The car ride was a lot shorter than Beomgyu had hoped, and now they’re standing at the front of their apartment, Beomgyu fiddling with the keys. 

Yeonjun giggles and takes the keys from him, their hands brushing in the process. The slightest touch sends jolts up Beomgyu’s spine and he wills them away. 

Beomgyu takes Yeonjun to his room and goes to brush his teeth, bringing a glass of water and a hangover pill for Yeonjun to use when he wakes up. 

When he walks into Yeonjun’s room, the giggly Yeonjun has been replaced by a sadder, sleepy Yeonjun. As Beomgyu sets the water and pill down on the bedside table, Yeonjun touches his hand, a silent plea asking him to wait. 

“Beomgyu-yah.” His voice sounds clear and sober. Beomgyu turns his head to look at Yeonjun in the eyes. 

“Beomgyu-yah. These past few years have been so difficult.” Yeonjun’s eyes water slightly, and Beomgyu gets on his knees to be eye-level with Yeonjun. 

“I’ve been so lonely, you know? It’s so hard to like someone and have them leave every time. They always insist I’m too good for them, but then they’re the ones that leave. They’re the ones who leave first. But even when I was with them, I still felt lonely. Nobody understood me. Nobody loved me.” Beomgyu’s face softens, giving Yeonjun the motivation to continue. 

“But then I found you. I wanted to be your friend so badly, but you always ran away from me. It broke my heart every time. Then, you started leaning on me, and I found my happiness returning. When we fell out of contact, I was distraught. I didn’t know what to say, didn’t know how to reconnect with you.” Yeonjun’s somber expression slowly morphs into a smile. 

“But then I found you again. Getting married to you was the best decision I ever made. For the first time, I feel like the void in my heart has been filled. You mean the world to me Beomgyu. I don’t know what I’d do without you.” Yeonjun smiles dreamily and lets his eyes flutter shut. 

Beomgyu lets his impulse take over and kisses Yeonjun gently on the forehead, and Yeonjun hums happily. He rubs Yeonjun’s shoulder and leaves with a soft wish, “Good night hyung. Sleep well.” He slowly, quietly closes the door so as not to disturb him, feeling happier than ever.

———~🐻🦊~———

Beomgyu wakes up early the next morning, the drunken conversation from last night haunting him throughout the night. 

If Beomgyu didn’t know any better, it sounded like Yeonjun was confessing his feelings to him. But Yeonjun’s not interested in him like that; it was a moment of tender vulnerability between two close friends. 

He picks up his phone for the first time in almost 15 hours, and he’s greeted with a flood of messages from Taehyun. Most of them are photos, one of which is a photo of him sitting on Yeonjun’s lap. He saves that one to print later.

Then he reads all the commentary Taehyun has given him and comes to an earth-shattering realization.

He’s still in love with Yeonjun. 

He fumbles with his phone as he calls Taehyun. He picks up on the first ring.

“Beomgyu-hyung?” Taehyun sounds surprised to hear him.

“Taehyun-ah, what do I do?” Beomgyu’s voice is full of panic now, and Taehyun tries his best to calm him down.

“Hyung, what happened? Do you want to talk about it?” Silence follows suit, then Taehyun hears a deep breath.

“I have so much to tell you.” Taehyun hums in acknowledgement while Beomgyu continues. “Yesterday, Yeonjun came back home and started telling me that he’s been so lonely for years and for the first time, he feels like the void in his heart has been filled. Taehyun-ah, he said I filled the void in his heart. Me. What am I supposed to do with that information?”

“Well. Do you want to do anything with that information? You could just let it go.” Taehyun says nonchalantly, baiting Beomgyu into telling him what he’s been suspecting all this time.

“Of course I can’t ‘ just do nothing’ about it! He just said that I filled the void in his heart!”

“Yeah, like friends do. If you two are just friends, it shouldn’t matter that much.” Taehyun says in a matter-of-fact way that irks Beomgyu. 

“Taehyun! It matters a lot! It matters because…” Beomgyu pauses, then decides to just let it out. “It matters because I’m still in love with him.” Beomgyu’s voice is barely above a whisper by the end of the sentence. But Taehyun hears it nonetheless. 

“I know, hyung. We all know. But I think Yeonjun-hyung loves you too. If his drunken confession is anything to go by.” Taehyun quips at the end, and Beomgyu huffs out a laugh.

“Yeah, I think you’re right. I…I need to sit on this for a bit longer, but I’ll probably tell him soon. I’m kind of excited! Dating Yeonjun-hyung. Wouldn’t that be nice?”

“I’m sure it’ll be nice for you. But aren’t you guys already married?” Taehyun says with a laugh, and Beomgyu rolls his eyes.

“Ok, fuck you Taehyun. And thank you for listening.”

“Love you too, hyung. I’m always here for you. I’m going to go back to work, text me if you need anything!” He hangs up after that, and Beomgyu holds his phone close to his chest, a happy smile on his face. 

———~🐻🦊~———

He wakes up with an incredible hangover, but thankfully Beomgyu left a pill next to him.

Beomgyu. The conversation from last night comes flooding back, and he almost drops his glass from shock.

Fuck. Yeonjun fucked up horribly.

He practically confessed to Beomgyu and he’s not even sure if Beomgyu is interested in him like that. Beomgyu sat and listened to him pouring his entire heart out. He even told Beomgyu that Beomgyu filled the void in his heart…could he have been any more obvious?

Fuck fuck fuck fuck. He jumps out of bed and runs to the bathroom, rapidly brushing his teeth and washing his face before stepping outside. He can feel a wave of nausea surging through him, but he needs to fix this now. 

When he comes outside, Beomgyu’s clutching the phone to his chest like a lovesick teenager. Great, just the thing he needs to see first thing in the morning.

“Yeonjun-hyung! Good morning!” His voice is chipper, and Yeonjun’s so afraid to tell him now.

“We need to talk. About last night.”

“Oh, sure! What’s up?” Beomgyu’s voice doesn’t waver in the slightest, which is either deeply troubling or deeply reassuring, depending on why. Either Beomgyu didn’t mind, or Beomgyu forgot.

“I just wanted to say…I’m sorry.”

Beomgyu tilts his head in clear confusion. “Why would you be sorry?”

Now this is the hard part—lying to Beomgyu. 

“I’m sorry for what I said last night. I was drunk and wasn’t thinking clearly and I said some things that were untrue.” There. He said it.

Beomgyu’s face falls, his smile wavering. Yeonjun feels a protective tug at his heartstrings to pull him into a big hug. But he can’t go back now. Not when Yeonjun already said it.

“You…you didn’t mean anything you said last night?” Beomgyu sounds devastated, and Yeonjun can’t follow through all the way.

“Well, I didn’t mean most of it. But I did mean it when I said I’m glad we reconnected. And, I appreciated the kiss.” Fuck, why would he say that?

At least Beomgyu perks up a little. “You didn’t mind it? I was worried I overstepped a boundary…”

“No, no. It was comforting. I wouldn’t…I would feel the same way if you did it again.” Yeonjun’s mouth is fully disconnected from his brain. 

Way to send mixed signals, Yeonjun thinks to himself. But Beomgyu seems to be fine with it, and he smiles at Yeonjun. 

“I share the same feelings…” Yeonjun’s heart stutters in his chest a little when he hears that, but he pushes it aside. “I wouldn’t mind some affection from you, too. After all, we’re friends, right? It’s all platonic?” 

No, it’s not platonic at all. But Yeonjun allows himself to be selfish just this once. “Yeah, all platonic.”

Yeonjun swears he sees Beomgyu look more disappointed than he did before, but maybe he was hallucinating, because when he blinks, Beomgyu is giving him a bright smile.

“Beomgyu-yah. I’m going to eat breakfast with Soobin today. He said he wanted to talk to me about something.” That’s a lie, he’s going to send an S.O.S. text to Soobin so he can figure out what the fuck is going on.

“Oh okay! No worries, hyung!” Beomgyu retreats to his bedroom, and Yeonjun lets out a breath that he didn’t realize he was holding. 

When Beomgyu’s in the safety of his bedroom, he sends Taehyun a text. 

me
taehyun-ah
he took it back
he took it all back
he said he didnt mean anything he said 

tyun-ah (=^･ω･^=)
Oh hyung…
I’m so sorry to hear that.
Do you want to talk about it?

me
not really
i mean it’s not terrible because he said he’s still glad i’m around
so i’m not too upset
but now i’m not going to say anything
i can’t ruin what we have

tyun-ah (=^･ω･^=)
I understand, hyung.
One day, though, I think you should tell him.
But for now…take care of yourself, okay hyung?

me
course i will tyun!

He’ll take care of himself a little bit later. For now, he just wants to wallow in his pitiful emotions.

———~🐻🦊~———

“You said WHAT?” Soobin’s voice rises to a shrill shriek at the end, and Yeonjun winces.

“I said that I told him I didn’t mean any of it—Ow!” Yeonjun’s sentence barely finishes when Soobin leans forward to smack him in the arm, hard. 

“Why the fuck would you say that, hyung? You know I love you, but that was stupid of you to do.”

“I know. I just don’t want him to get the wrong idea.”

“What’s the wrong idea?”

“That I’m in love with him.”

“Are you?” Soobin’s question is so simple, but it’s one that takes him by force.

“...I…I am. I love Beomgyu.”

Soobin lets out an exasperated sigh and waves his arms aggressively to punctuate each word. “Then why would he get the wrong idea if it’s not actually wrong?” 

Huh. Soobin makes a good point. But Yeonjun can be very irrational when he wants to be. And right now, he wants to be as irrational as humanly possible.

“What if he thinks I’m in love with him, then gets uncomfortable because of it? I wanted to avoid that scenario from the get go, so I told him that I didn’t mean any of it.”

“ Any of it? You took back all of it?” Soobin leans forward, and Yeonjun instinctively shrinks back into his chair.

“Well, not all of it. I told him that I’m glad we reconnected.” He intentionally leaves out the part where he also tells Beomgyu that he likes his kisses. Soobin would throw a fit over it. 

Soobin leans forward and flicks him in the forehead. Yeonjun hisses in pain and places his hands on the spot to soothe the sting.

“Look. I think you’re being a little…dramatic. It’s Beomgyu we’re talking about. Did you know that Kai confessed to him once, and he rejected him?”

Yeonjun’s eyes widened comically at the news.

“Yeah, he had a crush on Beomgyu. But Beomgyu let him down gently, and now they’re still good friends. He even suggested that we go on a date, even after I was hesitant to since I was worried Beomgyu might be uncomfortable seeing Kai that often.” Yeonjun nods at the news and Soobin continues.

“All I’m trying to say is that nothing bad will happen. This is Beomgyu we’re talking about here. You don’t have to confess, but don’t worry too much about it. Don’t bottle up your feelings until they explode. That’s a horrible idea.” Yeonjun nods thoughtfully. Soobin makes a good point.

“Good point Soobin-ah.” 

“Sometimes I wonder if I’m the hyung here.” Soobin snickers and Yeonjun rolls his eyes.

“That’s not what you were saying when you would call me at 3am asking me for help drafting a message to send to Kai.” 

Soobin blushes and smacks Yeonjun in the arm while giggling, and Yeonjun smiles too.

“Now eat some breakfast before it gets cold. I didn’t run out and buy pancakes in a rush just for you to not eat anything. Also, Kai will probably join us.” Soobin says around a mouthful of food.

“Can you…can you please not tell him? I know Kai won’t say anything, but I don’t really want an intervention from Kai, because I’ll definitely break if he does.” Soobin’s face softens.

“Of course I won’t say anything. It’s your secret to tell, not mine. Kai probably knows you like Beomgyu, though. You were very obvious about it yesterday when you called him the best husband.”

Yeonjun sputters and lets his jaw hang. Fuck, he really doesn’t remember everything from last night. Hopefully it’s not too bad.

When Soobin shows him the pictures and videos from last night, he flushes a little. He practically pulled Beomgyu into his lap and wrapped his arms around his small waist and giggled into his ear. They look like a really cute couple. And Beomgyu just…let it happen. The lighting in the video is horrendous: he can’t see the flushed look on Beomgyu's face or the way he turns to look at Yeonjun. All he could see is their merged silhouette. 

Fuck, it really was that obvious…

———~🐻🦊~———

Weirdly, after their pseudo-confession and the rescinding of said confession, their actions become more affectionate. 

Partly because they gave each other the green light to do so. Mostly because their feelings are that intense. 

It started with a sudden kiss on the cheek from Beomgyu after breakfast. Beomgyu was heading out the door when he leaned forward and placed a quick peck before saying, “Bye hyung!” as if nothing had happened. Then he walked out the door, leaving Yeonjun frozen in place. 

The next time Beomgyu does it, Yeonjun still freezes in place, but he’s not completely immobilized, calling out a, “Bye, Beomie!” as Beomgyu heads out the door. 

A kiss on the cheek, which would normally be reserved for exceptional circumstances, has become a daily routine of theirs. 

During the cold winds of fall, Beomgyu’s kisses were a furnace that warmed his heart. It was a small indulgence he allowed himself to have; he likes to imagine lingering feelings beneath each kiss, reading more into a friendly gesture.

And every now and then, Yeonjun allows himself to return the affection. When Beomgyu excitedly told him about another song that his agency purchased, Yeonjun gave him a surging kiss on the forehead, full of happiness and pride. A special kiss that he likes to save for a special moment. 

Although Beomgyu kisses him almost every day, he still isn’t used to it. Even after months of their boundary-crossing affection. 

Every time Beomgyu gives him a kiss or tenderly hugs him, Yeonjun’s heart races a little more, reminding him that what they have could be deeper if Beomgyu just returned his feelings. 

It’s not like Yeonjun’s any better though. He’s been doubling down on flirting, redirecting all his energy to Beomgyu. 

“Hyung, which do you think would taste better? Beef steak or pork filet?” Beomgyu’s looking through the menu and Yeonjun’s sitting right in front of him.

He leans forward, resting his chin on his hands. Then he smirks while he says, “Hmmm I think the beef would taste better, but I think you would taste the best.” Then he has the audacity to wink at him.

Then Yeonjun just pretends like he said something normal and moves on instantly. Leaving Beomgyu reeling from whiplash. How can Yeonjun just say something like that so casually?

When Beomgyu says something inconspicuous like, “Hyung, what are you doing right now?” Yeonjun makes it a point to say something flirtatious and cheeky in reply, such as “I’m thinking about you. I’m always thinking about you.” Or “I’m waiting for the day when you and I go on an official date.” 

That sort of thing. And neither of them are faking it, either. Everything Yeonjun says is genuine. Everything Beomgyu does is heartfelt.

Occasionally, Yeonjun’s flirting becomes more extreme, clearly crossing the imaginary line between friends and dating. Such as at Soobin’s birthday party while Soobin and Kai were kissing Taehyun aggressively while he just stood in between them and blushed through it.

While the three of them were…preoccupied to say the least, Beomgyu smeared frosting on Yeonjun’s cheek, which resulted in Yeonjun retaliating by smearing frosting on Beomgyu’s cheek.

“Hyung!! My skin is sensitive. Take the frosting off!”

“Like this?” And Yeonjun, the devious flirt he is, leans down and licks the frosting off of Beomgyu’s cheek, ending it with a quick kiss.

Beomgyu holds a hand to his burning cheek and just stares at Yeonjun, who continues to eat his own cake. 

If they keep this up, though, Beomgyu’s afraid he might explode. Because although Beomgyu is cute with his affection, Yeonjun is aggressively flirtatious and persistent. 

All Beomgyu wanted to do was eat some ice cream. That’s all he wanted to do. 

The two of them are sitting on the couch watching a movie. It’s just a simple way to unwind after a long day, and Beomgyu bought ice cream for the two of them to enjoy. 

Yeonjun said he was feeling a bit queasy and saved his for later. But Beomgyu started digging in, taking small but frequent bites. 

Beomgyu doesn’t know exactly when, but at some point during the movie, Yeonjun started looking at him instead of at the screen.

“Hyung? Is everything ok?”

“Hm?” Yeonjun shakes his head and gently pats his cheeks. “Yeah, I’m alright. You have something on your face though.” 

“Really, where?” Beomgyu runs his hands all over his face but misses. 

“Right here.” Yeonjun uses his thumb and slowly swipes the ice cream off of Beomgyu’s lips.

Beomgyu can feel his nerves dancing with each touch from Yeonjun, and then he can feel his entire body shut down when Yeonjun brings his thumb to his lips and sucks the icecream off. 

It’s a slow, deliberate movement, which Yeonjun’s eyes locked onto Beomgyu’s as he’s doing it. His soft, plump, pink lips look so enticing and Beomgyu subconsciously leans in a little. 

“Hm, it’s sweet. Very tasty.” Yeonjun says it so casually, but Beomgyu doesn’t miss his darkening pupils that undercut the innocence of the sentence.

They’re leaning slowly in, closer and closer. Then Beomgyu jolts backwards and says, “Oh, my hands are too sticky! Let me go to the bathroom and wash them.” Beomgyu hops off the couch and runs to the bathroom, almost tripping on his own feet.   

As soon as the door is closed, he presses his back against the wall and takes deep breaths, chest rising up and down too rapidly for it to be normal. 

His stomach is swirling and his mind has literally logged off. He tries to splash his face with cold water until he can’t feel the tip of his nose. Even then, the thoughts linger. He wills his butterflies away, just enough to finish the movie then go to bed. 

When he comes back, the atmosphere has changed. Whatever spark was between them died, and Yeonjun’s back to watching the movie and acting normal. 

Which, Beomgyu supposes is a good thing. His heart will go into failure if it keeps beating at 200 bpm. But still, he’s a little disappointed that things didn’t progress further. 

Though, he does sneak in a small kiss on the cheek before Yeonjun goes to bed, which elicits an instant smile on Yeonjun’s face. That’s a victory he’s more than happy to take. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Yeonjun has been awarded a grand opportunity. A secret he’s been hiding for months. Something he’s known even before his birthday celebration.

His agency told him that they want dancers for Hit the Stage , and they think that Yeonjun is the perfect fit to be the lead dancer. Plus, he gets to help with the choreography, his name appearing near the top of the credits list.

Yeonjun’s face won’t be front and center, but there’s a solo part where the idol dances with 2 dancers, Yeonjun being one of them.

This is a secret he’s kept for a very long time. Though he’s sure Beomgyu suspects something is up, there’s no way he knows that he’s going on national television. 

To top it off, the song is actually a song that Beomgyu produced. It’s the bubblegum song with a sexy twist to it, slowing the tempo a bit, dropping it to a lower key, and adding bass in the background.

Beomgyu has no idea about that either, though. 

However, what Beomgyu does know is that there’s a fancy event that Yeonjun has to go to. And Beomgyu’s invited as his plus one.

Of course, Beomgyu’s very skilled with makeup. Precise fingers and years of drawing have afforded him phenomenal makeup abilities. 

But Yeonjun has shaky hands and no concept of color balance. So he’s awful with makeup. 

He wanted to do it all by himself. Really, he tried. But he looks so amateur that if he shows up like this, it’d be worse than going barefaced. 

Beomgyu typically finishes his makeup astronomically early. And there’s a couple of hours left before they have to leave. So Yeonjun swallows his pride and knocks on Beomgyu’s door.

“Beomie?”

“Oh hyung! You can come in.” Yeonjun steps in the room and is greeted with fancy outfits laid neatly on Beomgyu’s bed. Beomgyu’s desk is covered in makeup, and his chair is the only thing that’s uncluttered. 

“Beomie…can you help me with my makeup?” Yeonjun anticipates rejection, but what he gets is an enthusiastic expression.

“I thought you’d never ask! I’d love to do your makeup. Come, come sit here.” Beomgyu drags Yeonjun to the desk chair and pushes him down. 

“Hmm, let me see here.” Beomgyu leans forward until his face is only inches away, eyes raking each part of his face. Yeonjun swallows a lump in his throat as quietly as he can. But the lump stays there. His heart, stuck in his throat, about to spill out.

Beomgyu looks so beautiful, but he looks outright unreal up close. There’s not a hint of makeup on his face, soft lines underneath his eyes that are darker than his skin, little bumps on his cheeks. But they’re all decorations that accentuate the alluring features of Beomgyu’s face. 

Their eyes are scanning each other’s faces in tandem, occasionally making eye contact and moving away. A blush rises to Yeonjun’s face, one that mirrors the one Beomgyu is wearing. 

Beomgyu cups Yeonjun’s face and tilts it gently to the side. Just to get a better look at his cheekbones. But the gesture is so intimate ; it pulls a gasp from deep within. It’s not clear who gasped: him or Yeonjun. Probably both. 

“Okay hyung. I know what I’m going to do.” He spoke in a low voice, barely louder than a whisper. Neither of them are doing vigorous exercise, but Yeonjun feels like the wind’s been knocked out of him. His chest heaves up and down, the intensity of Beomgyu’s gaze accelerating his heart rate to uncharted territories. 

Beomgyu leans forward and tries to dab foundation on his face, but the angle is too awkward, especially since he has to bend down to reach Yeonjun’s face comfortably. 

Yeonjun has no idea what possessed him to do that, but they have a repeat of the bar situation. Except this time, Yeonjun’s painfully sober and hyper-aware of everything that’s happening. Yeonjun wraps his hand around Beomgyu’s waist and pulls him into his lap, gaze flitting from Beomgyu’s eyes to his parted lips. 

“You can sit on my lap, if that’s easier.” Yeonjun says in a soft whisper, his own lips parted and matching Beomgyu’s heated gaze. 

“Yeah. I think…” Beomgyu swallowed thickly, “I think that’s a good…a good idea.”

Then Beomgyu leans in closely and dabs makeup on the apples of Yeonjun’s cheek. His eyes are locked on Yeonjun’s. Yeonjun can’t think; his brain emits TV static sounds instead of coherent thoughts. 

Each brush of Beomgyu’s skin onto his own lights each nerve on fire, sending rapidfire signals to his brain that urge him to just lean in and kiss him. 

Yeonjun’s not oblivious to his effect on Beomgyu. The inherent eroticism of the situation isn’t lost on him, especially not when Beomgyu’s touch lingers for a second longer than necessary.

After an agonizing amount of time, Beomgyu’s finally done applying the foundation. 

Now for the fun part. Eye makeup. 

Yeonjun knows he has alluring eyes. His gaze could cut through steel from its intensity, his eyes are sharp and fierce. He’s been told that his eyes add to his performances because you can’t tear your gaze away from them.

And Beomgyu knows that too, hence why he’s taking out intense eyeliner and harsh eyeshadows to draw attention to them.

“Alright hyung, I want you to look at me without moving your gaze.” Beomgyu says, his voice is deep and quiet. 

As if Yeonjun could look away, even if he wanted to.

His eyes are glued to Beomgyu’s eyes, taking in the darker pupils and the half-lidded gaze. Beomgyu’s movements are gentle and deliberate. The eyeliner glides smoothly on his waterline. A midnight blue that matches the outfit he’s wearing. Beomgyu lifts his thumb and gently tugs, smearing the eyeliner just to give that alluring, smokey gaze. Beomgyu’s so close to his face. Closer than before. If Yeonjun moves forward just a smidge, he’ll be kissing Beomgyu. 

Yeonjun can feel each breath Beomgyu lets out. Soft, smells like cherries. And he’s certain that Beomgyu can feel the rise and fall of his own chest and moves in tandem with Beomgyu’s.

Beomgyu repeats the action on Yeonjun’s other eye, paying extra attention to make sure the smudged look is the same on both eyes. 

When Beomgyu’s satisfied with the waterline, he moves on and does the upper eyeliner. He gently places his thumbs on Yeonjun’s upper eyelid and pulls down, silently asking him to close his eyes.

Yeonjun’s eyes flutter shut, and he can feel the warmth radiating off of Beomgyu on his skin. Each touch, each press, each stroke lights Yeonjun’s entire body with an electric current that courses through his veins. 

Beomgyu’s wrist flicks just so and creates a sharp wing that extends the corner of Yeonjun’s eye, sharpening an already-sharp gaze. He mirrors the action on the other side of his face, using his thumb to wipe the excess eyeliner that fell when his wrist wobbled a little.

He can feel the softness of the pads of Beomgyu’s thumb, a contrast to the rough calluses that litter Beomgyu’s fingertips. 

Then, Beomgyu grabs a different eyeliner and drags the tip from the inner corner of Yeonjun’s eye to the beginning of the wing. In a move that surprises Yeonjun, Beomgyu begins smudging the intersection of the eyeliner, pressing his thumb and shaking it back and forth until he’s satisfied, then he runs the colored thumb along the middle of his eyelid, creating a neat color gradient that Yeonjun could never do on his own. 

The action is repeated on the other side. When Beomgyu stops, Yeonjun’s eyes flutter open, and he takes a look at himself, and he’s utterly shocked at what he sees.

Even without eyeshadow, Yeonjun’s eyes pop. The eyeliner starts off a bright blue, then turns into a deep black by the end of the wing. There’s hints of purple in the middle, probably an addition Beomgyu added to smoothen the color gradient. 

Then Yeonjun’s eyes are pulled shut again, and Beomgyu uses a brush to add sparkling, nude eyeshadow right above the eyeliner. The goal is to sharpen the eyeliner while also making it stand out more. A simple eyeshadow that ties up the entire look. 

To wrap up the look, Beomgyu adds concealer to the eyebags that weigh on Yeonjun’s face. The darkness itself isn’t very prominent, but eliminating it will provide the ideal stark contrast of his pale skin to the dark eye makeup. 

Yeonjun’s eyes open again, and he looks significantly more like a performer. Beomgyu’s eyes are unsure, so Yeonjun speaks up.

“Beomie…I look stunning! How can you do makeup so well?” Beomgyu smiles at the sudden praise and shrugs. 

“Hyung, can you suck in your cheeks, like this?” Beomgyu hollows his cheeks, and Yeonjun does the same. 

There’s something erotic about the action, but Yeonjun can’t quite put his finger on it. 

Beomgyu starts to trace the swell of his cheekbone with his finger, using the back of his nail to feel the sharpness. It’s slow, tantalizingly slow, and Yeonjun’s toes curl embarrassingly. 

Thankfully, Beomgyu grabs a highlighter/contour palette and holds it up to his face, examining the hues and deciding which one would look best in harsh, fluorescent lighting. 

After deciding, he grabs a brush and dabs highlighter onto it, dragging it up and down slowly over the cheekbone. The motion of his hand is borderline hypnotic, back and forth with a relaxed wrist. He then moves to the other side and repeats the same motion, back and forth in a slow rhythm.

Using his finger, Beomgyu dabs a bit of highlighter and gently places some on the tip of Yeonjun’s nose, a touch so light that it’s as if a ghost did it. A phantom touch, just to add a hint of highlighter. But enough to make Yeonjun shiver. 

Beomgyu adds contour next, adding harsh streaks of brown in a rapid motion to create an airbrushed look. He brushes off the excess powder with his fingers, doing the same to the other side of his face. 

He initially decided to add contour to Yeonjun’s nose, but eventually opted not to. His nose looks better with minimal makeup.  

He moves to accentuate Yeonjun’s already-sharp jawline with contour only. If he adds highlighter, he’s worried it’ll take away from the eye makeup, which is the main focus on Yeonjun’s face. 

The last step to do is the lip makeup. The part he’s been dreading. Well, excitedly dreading. 

To touch Yeonjun’s soft, plump lips. It’s a dream come true. But he’s worried he’ll undo all his hard work by pressing a harsh kiss to the beautiful pillows. 

Yeonjun can feel Beomgyu’s fingers hesitate at the swell of his lips, so he moves his head forward just a hair to make contact. Immediately, Yeonjun’s nerves start singing, and Beomgyu’s breath hitches at the sudden contact. 

Yeonjun can feel Beomgyu’s breath on his lips now, each gasp and sigh sends shivers down his spine. 

Beomgyu decides to use his finger to add lip balm to his slightly-chapped lips. Slowly pressing the balm into the skin of Yeonjun’s lips, dragging the pad of his thumb across the soft expanse. Each touch leaves a fire in its wake, burning a forest in Yeonjun’s heart. 

After moisturizing Yeonjun’s lips, Beomgyu picks out a brown lipstick to put on Yeonjun’s lips. He uses his left hand to cup Yeonjun’s chin, then he holds it in place, a firm grip that forces Yeonjun to really look at him. 

That wasn’t the intention. But it’s a nice side effect. 

Yeonjun’s gaze doesn’t move from staring at Beomgyu’s plump lips, just as Beomgyu’s gaze doesn’t move once from Yeonjun’s lips. He purposefully takes his time applying the lipstick, relishing in the softness of Yeonjun’s lips beneath his fingertips. Imagining that softness on his own. Once Yeonjun’s lips are fully coated in lipstick, Yeonjun slowly presses his lips together, still keeping his gaze on Beomgyu.

He adds the sticky gloss with a swipe of a brush, and Yeonjun presses his lips together for the last time to coat his lips properly. He sprays setting spray on his face to finish it off.

“Okay, I’m done with your makeup.” Beomgyu says, but neither of them make any motion to move. Just staring at each other, staring at each other’s lips and leaning in slowly, closer and closer. Yeonjun’s hand cups the side of Beomgyu’s face, Beomgyu’s hand leaves a hot trail as it drags to the back of Yeonjun’s neck.

Yeonjun’s phone abruptly rings and Beomgyu leaps off of his lap as if he’s been burned. He fumbles to take it out of his pocket and listens to the contents of the call.

It’s just his manager reminding him that he needs to get there an hour early, so he only has an hour left before his anticipated arrival. Yeonjun stands up and leaves to change, calling out thanks over his shoulder.

Beomgyu stays rooted in place for a few minutes, soaking in the intensity of the moment that just transpired. Then he robotically applies his own makeup while touching his lips every so often, imagining the touch of Yeonjun on it instead of his own. 

45 minutes later, the two of them are ready to go. And Yeonjun has to say, Beomgyu looks fucking ethereal. In contrast to Yeonjun’s dark eye makeup and bold colors, Beomgyu opted for a soft, fairy look. Glitter beneath his eyes, a light amount of gray eyeliner to call attention to his soft, baby blue eyeshadow. The highlighter on his cheeks dances with the light, and his suit is a very light gray, like a soft, cloudy white. His lips sport a soft pink, not bright or intense, but nudish and peachy. 

His hair sits in soft waves that frame his face, with his bangs hanging gently above his eyes in soft swoops. The swoops that match the swoop of Yeonjun’s heart. 

“Are you ready to go?” Yeonjun’s hands are sweaty just from looking at Beomgyu.

“Yes hyung. Let’s go.” When Beomgyu walks past him to grab the car keys, he smells like baby powder and Yeonjun closes his eyes from the wave of serotonin that hits him. 

The drive there is thankfully fast so Yeonjun can make it right on time for his arrival. Beomgyu follows him backstage, simply because he doesn’t know where else to go. 

“Good evening. Are you Choi Yeonjun and guest?” A lady holding a clipboard greets them once they arrive inside.

“Yes. I am Choi Yeonjun, and this is my esteemed guest.”

“Lovely! You two look wonderful. In about 5 minutes, I will escort your guest to the designated seating area. If that works with you?” She asks the question to Beomgyu, who nods in affirmation. 

“Great! I’ll leave you two alone. Yeonjun-ssi, please head to the doors on the right in about 10 minutes.” With that, she leaves to talk to the staff. 

Beomgyu and Yeonjun are thrumming with nerves. Beomgyu, because he still has no idea what he’s doing here. Yeonjun, because he’s nervous to perform. That, and Beomgyu is so fucking pretty that it’s making his heart race. 

The 5 minutes are almost up, and Yeonjun has a brilliant idea.

“Beomgyu, let’s take a picture before you go. There’s an excellent backdrop behind us, and we look stunning.” Beomgyu agrees to the idea swiftly, and Yeonjun lifts his phone to take a selfie. 

Beomgyu angles his head towards Yeonjun, tilting his chin up slightly as if he’s about to kiss his cheek. Then, he smiles softly, no teeth visible, but lightly scrunching the corners of his eyes. 

Yeonjun tilts his head towards Beomgyu and tilts his chin down slightly, giving the camera a seductive wink before snapping the photo. 

“Send that to me, hyung! We look really good together.” Beomgyu calls over his shoulder as he makes his way toward the staff member. Yeonjun pretends to ignore the double entendre and sends the message to him. He also immediately sets it as his lock screen wallpaper.

Yeonjun shakes his nerves away and walks through the double doors, onto the stage that’s calling to him. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Beomgyu’s sitting in a seated box towards the side of the stage, the perfect place to sit and see everything. These seats are notoriously expensive and difficult to get…he wonders how Yeonjun managed to snag them.

He looks around and notices a whole horde of people rushing in, scrambling for the front of the pit. They all want a chance to be at the very front, but why?

He looks online to see what’s happening today, but he only sees Hit the Stage , the dance show for celebrities who are dancers. Yeonjun isn’t a celebrity by any means (thankfully) so he knows it’s not that. 

Thankfully he doesn’t have to wait long for an answer, because the lights dim and the floor lights come on. 

Beomgyu hears music flooding through the speakers…it sounds familiar.

Wait. This is his instrumental. Why would they play his music here? It’s not even released, so no idol group would be performing it.

Then he sees smoke on the stage, and the spotlight reveals a popular idol dancer—Hyunjin—on the stage. He’s dancing to his song. The song he made. 

Yeonjun’s nowhere to be found, the seat beside him remaining painfully empty. Where is he? He’s gonna miss the show if he doesn’t hurry up. 

The music gets louder and Beomgyu can hear the funky bassline, which the idol is popping his body too. Then, two more figures show up. One is a taller, muscular dancer. And one is someone that looks oddly like Yeonjun.

Oh.

Oh.

It is Yeonjun. 

Beomgyu’s leaning forward, his hands gripping the railing as he leans forward as far as he can to see Yeonjun’s lithe dance moves. Hyunjin is a captivating dancer, but his eyes are glued onto Yeonjun. 

He’s trying to text the group chat without looking down, imploring them to tune into Mnet right NOW to watch this. Not once does he look down, waiting to feel a vibration that lets him know the message was sent before tossing his phone back to his seat.  

Yeonjun’s staring at the crowd, but when he’s able to look up, he locks eyes with Beomgyu and smiles just slightly, just enough for Beomgyu to know it’s for him. 

The performance captivates Beomgyu’s entire attention. His eyes water from the harsh lights and lack of blinking, but he ignores it in favor of staring at the stage—at Yeonjun —for as long as he can.

Eventually, the performance ends. Yeonjun’s still on the stage, taking heavy breaths that have his chest moving in a mesmerizing up and down rhythm. His makeup is still intact, alluring as it was before, but in a much more seductive manner since the sweat on his face adds a sheen and his lips are parted with each breath. His gaze is lidded, probably from exhaustion, but his eyes still make their way up to Beomgyu as he’s ushered off the stage. 

Beomgyu’s entire world stopped for a minute at the shock of watching Yeonjun dance the way he did on stage. In college, Yeonjun always caught his eye when he moved.

But now? Yeonjun’s significantly better, his movements more confident and alluring. His body moves like a charm, hypnotizing you until you fall off the edge.

“Beomie-yah! Did you like my surprise?” Yeonjun’s breathy voice pulls Beomgyu out of his thoughts and he jumps from being scared.

“I…I loved it hyung! You’ve gotten so much better at dancing since the last time I saw you, and they played my song? Did you know about that? How long have you known?”

“I’ve known for a few months now. But I wanted to surprise you!” It’s true, Yeonjun told everyone but Beomgyu because he wanted Beomgyu to see it in person, up close and personal. 

Beomgyu runs forward and gives Yeonjun a surging hug, not caring if Yeonjun smells like sweat, nor caring if Yeonjun’s tired, not caring if Yeonjun’s overheating. 

Yeonjun wraps his arms around him just as quickly, laughing a loud laugh that makes his whole chest heave. 

“I’m so relieved you liked it.”

“No. I loved it.” Yeonjun smiles even brighter, and the two of them head out for the celebration party that Soobin decided to have at his house. 

———~🐻🦊~———

As soon as Beomgyu and Yeonjun show up to Soobin’s house, they pull the string and confetti falls to the floor, a banner that says, “Congratulations Beomgyu and Yeonjun-hyung!” in colorful letters standing above the kitchen table, where cake and various foods are lined up.

“Beomgyu! Yeonjun-hyung! I’m so proud of you both!” Soobin pulls them into a big hug and holds them there. Then Kai joins in with an even tighter hug, the four of them smushing together. Beomgyu outstretched his hand towards Taehyun, and just like that, Taehyun’s pulled into the hug too.

They stay embraced for a minute until Yeonjun squirms. “Guys, I’m already really sweaty! I don’t want to sweat any more!” Then they all break apart and laugh.

“Come, cut the cake! I know it’s nobody’s birthday, but still, something this momentous calls for cutting a cake!” Kai’s clapping excitedly while Soobin hands Beomgyu the cake knife.

Beomgyu and Yeonjun stand side by side in their fancy attire, holding each other’s hands over the knife and cutting the cake. Kai lets out a cheer and Taehyun smiles while taking multiple photos. 

After they cut the cake, they each eat a slice and talk about random nothings. It’s mostly Soobin and Kai raving about both the music and the performance while Taehyun stands next to Beomgyu, giving him reassuring squeezes. 

Later, they’re not sure how, but Beomgyu and Yeonjun end up sitting on the couch together, sprawled all over each other. Yeonjun’s holding Beomgyu in his arms and Beomgyu leans up to give him a peck on the cheek, his own way of saying congratulations. 

Unfortunately, Kai walks by and sees it all.

And even more unfortunately, Kai decides to comment on it.

“Aww you guys look so cute together!” Kai gushes and Beomgy smiles at the remark. Taehyun’s on the other side of the room and his eyes widen as he realizes that a disaster is about to unfold. 

“I’m glad you guys finally worked things out. I guess Beomgyu finally told you about his—mmph!” Taehyun takes huge strides to reach Kai so he can cover his mouth. 

Soobin, who heard everything, freezes in his tracks. Taehyun and Soobin are exchanging frantic glances at each other, Kai is completely oblivious to what just happened, and Beomgyu pales. All the blood drains from his face, making him look sick. 

Honestly, Beomgyu thinks he’s about to be sick, the taste of bile heavy on his tongue.

Yeonjun untangles himself from Beomgyu so he can face him. “Tell me what?” 

Beomgyu’s face is frozen in shock. In fear. Clearly, Beomgyu isn’t going to say anything. So, Yeonjun turns to face Kai and ask him instead. 

“Tell me what?” Yeonjun squints his eyes, and Taehyun presses his hand over Kai’s lips just a touch harder, enough for Kai to get the memo. 

“Tell me what? What are you guys hiding from me?” Yeonjun’s happy mood immediately turns sour and he stands up to walk to Soobin, who’s equally scared for what’s about to happen. 

“If someone doesn't fess up now , I’m—” Yeonjun doesn’t even finish his sentence before Beomgyu stands up and grabs the car keys, darting out the door.

Now it’s just Yeonjun standing in palpable tension between Soobin, Kai, and Taehyun. He looks around the room desperately, begging someone to say something, but nobody speaks for a solid minute. 

Eventually, Yeonjun sighs a heavy sigh and says, “Can one of you guys please drop me home? I don’t think Beomgyu’s gonna come back anytime soon.”

Taehyun volunteers, which is an intelligent decision considering Yeonjun has the least sway over Taehyun, and Taehyun knows how to keep a secret.

“So—” Yeonjun starts but is interrupted by Taehyun.

“Don’t even try it. Of course I know the secret, but I won’t tell you.” Taehyun speaks with finality to his tone, and Yeonjun closes his mouth and leans back in his seat. 

The drive is uncomfortably long and silent, but at least he makes it home. 

“Thank you for the ride, Taehyun-ah.” As Yeonjun steps out of the car, Taehyun grabs his arm.

“Yeonjun-hyung, please don’t be harsh on Beomgyu-hyung. The secret isn’t bad, and he’ll tell you when he’s ready. Just…give him a bit of understanding.” 

“I promise, Taehyun-ah.” With that, Taehyun drives off, leaving Yeonjun in the dark, dusty night.

When he enters the apartment, he pauses in front of Beomgyu’s room, but he decides to leave him alone, saying “Hyung’s home. I’m going to go to bed. Sleep well Beomgyu-yah!” 

He lies down on his bed and stares at the ceiling, processing everything that happened in the span of a singular night.

———~🐻🦊~———

The first day Beomgyu avoided him, Yeonjun wasn’t surprised. In fact, he was actually expecting it. 

That doesn’t make it any easier, though. Especially because he’s so used to Beomgyu’s bright presence in his life. He honestly can’t live without it. Waking up was much harder knowing he wouldn't be able to see Beomgyu.

When he ate breakfast, it felt like a chore rather than something he wanted to do. He ate a plain piece of bread the fill his stomach before going to practice.

Dancing feels overwhelming and mundane at the same time. Each step he takes makes him feel agonized and miserable. He lacks the sharpness of his moves or the raw energy that he usually exudes while he’s dancing.

His manager comments on the obvious change in demeanor, but Yeonjun laughs it off, saying that Hit the Stage tired him out much more than he expected. 

His manager buys it, of course. It’s a reasonable excuse. It’s just not the truth.

When he gets back, he knows Beomgyu won’t be there. He’s not stupid; Beomgyu’s clearly avoiding him for a while.

But Beomgyu’s clearly not mad at him, because Beomgyu still leaves dinner for him like he always does, leaving a note on the bowl saying, “I got this for you, but I’m not in the mood to eat, so I’m going to bed.”

Obviously Beomgyu’s eating alone in his room. A second bowl that would typically be for Beomgyu is noticeably missing. But Yeonjun promised Taehyun to give Beomgyu some space, so he’s resisting the urge to knock on the door and sit with Beomgyu. 

It’s the worst meal he’s eaten in a while. A bitter aftertaste lingers on his tongue, and Beomgyu isn’t there to make dinner worthwhile. 

He barely finishes half his bowl before putting the rest in the fridge to eat for lunch tomorrow. Then he heads to bed, having a restless sleep all night long.

When he wakes up the next morning, he’s not surprised to see Beomgyu eating breakfast without him. He has half a mind to greet himself, expecting a curt reply in return. But he is surprised by Beomgyu’s reaction. As soon as Beomgyu sees Yeonjun, he shoves all the cereal in his mouth—which is very uncharacteristic of him considering he insists on taking slow, deliberate bites—then he just leaves without a single greeting or word. 

His absence leaves a gaping coldness in the previously comfortable kitchen. Yeonjun tries not to let Beomgyu’s abrupt absence bother him as he makes his own breakfast, a simple bowl of porridge to soothe his nerves. It’s quick to eat, easy to make, and he’s just looking for sustenance before work. He grabs his leftovers from last night and takes it with him to work. 

Dancing today was even worse than yesterday, his mind completely preoccupied with the memory of Beomgyu running away in fear of Yeonjun. It’s not like Yeonjun would be angry with him. 

Beomgyu hasn’t even sent him a text since the incident. Yeonjun wasn’t expecting a meme or a funny text, but he thought Beomgyu would at least send something. Not a grocery itinerary for his weekly grocery trip, not a question about what to eat for dinner, nothing.

This is worse than when they first moved in together.

When he gets back, there’s a box of pizza on the kitchen table with 2 slices already eaten. The rest is clearly for Yeonjun since Beomgyu’s lights are already off, indicating he’s asleep, or at least trying to be. So Yeonjun eats 2 slices as well and goes to his room to sleep.

The third day Beomgyu avoided him, Yeonjun’s patience started to wear thin. Watching Beomgyu run away from Yeonjun like he’s afraid of him is already harsh enough, but he starts to pull away from Yeonjun in other aspects, too. Instead of waiting for their shared hamper to be full, Beomgyu just went ahead and did his own laundry. Which really shouldn't bother him…

Except, he likes doing shared chores with Beomgyu. It’s a sign of their closeness. And now Beomgyu’s slowly unweaving himself from Yeonjun’s life.

He decides enough is enough and comes home extra early. There isn’t any dinner on the table yet, which is enough for him to know that Beomgyu isn’t home. 

When he hears the key insert into the lock, he decides to hide in the kitchen. When Beomgyu walks past the kitchen and towards the bathroom, Yeonjun takes the opportunity to stand in the hallway, effectively blocking Beomgyu from going into any other room. 

As soon as Beomgyu steps out of the bathroom and sees Yeonjun, his eyes widen and he tries to run, but Yeonjun catches him before he can.

“Oh no you don’t. We’re gonna talk things out.” Beomgyu squirms in his grasp and Yeonjun feels really guilty. 

Until, Beomgyu squirms too much and slams his head on Yeonjun's chin, eliciting a groan.

“Hyung! I’m so sorry!” Beomgyu stops moving and places his hand on Yeonjun’s chin in an effort to soothe the pain. 

“It’s okay Beomie. It was just a mistake. Why don’t we sit down and talk?” Beomgyu resigns and stops trying to run, sitting an awkward distance away from Yeonjun. 

“Look Beomie. Even though I am very curious to know what you all are talking about, I also understand that sometimes, you’re just not ready to say it. And I don’t want our relationship to suffer because of one measly secret. I won’t pry; you don’t have to tell me until you’re ready to.” 

Beomgyu’s eyes water and he wipes away the tears that threaten to fall down his face. Yeonjun’s so sweet and he’s been so immature.

“Hyuuuuung, you’re so nice to me. I’m sorry for running away. I don’t want you to hate me.” Beomgyu’s eyes waver a little, like he’s afraid that Yeonjun secretly knows.

But that’s good enough for now. They share a quick hug before awkwardly eating dinner together in absolute silence. It’s not great, but it’s better than before. 

Beomgyu still gives him a goodnight kiss on the cheek. Which is a clear victory in Yeonjun’s book.

Before heading to bed, Beomgyu calls Taehyun.

“Hello?” Taehyun picks up immediately this time, not even letting the phone ring.

“Tyun-ah. I made up with Yeonjun-hyung.”

“What? You made out with Yeonjun-hyung?”

“No! Made UP with Yeonjun-hyung. As in, he’s no longer mad at me.”

“Beomgyu-hyung, I don’t think Yeonjun-hyung was ever mad at you. You were probably just running away before giving him a chance to talk.”

That’s completely true. Beomgyu doesn’t even have to confirm it—his silence is telling enough. 

“Why wouldn’t he be mad? I kept a secret from him that he still doesn't know about.”

“It’s not his secret to share. And he knows that. Yeonjun-hyung is deeply curious and hates feeling left out. That’s all there is to it. I think you’re just overthinking it.”

“Did…did anybody…”

“No, nobody told him. Kai’s been freaking out over here, you know? He’s been crying over it every day because he’s so afraid you won’t talk to him anymore.”

“Well that’s not true! It was an honest slip up! Why would I be mad at Huening over such a simple thing?”

“Beomgyu-hyung.” Taehyun says with an amused voice. “Is the irony lost on you?”

“What irony? All I said is that Kai is getting mad over—Oh, I see what you’re saying now.”

Taehyun chuckles before continuing. “Sometimes I wonder if I’m your hyung and not the other way around.”

“Shut up you brat. You should’ve been born earlier then.” Beomgyu huffs into the phone.

“Beomgyu-hyung. I’m glad the two of you made up, but don’t let the secret linger for too long.”

“I know…I just…” Beomgyu sighs heavily, “I just don’t want him to hate me.”

“Hyung, I don’t think Yeonjun-hyung could hate you. You’d probably have to murder all of us before he hates you, and even then I think it’d be up for debate.” Beomgyu giggles even though Taehyun’s being completely serious.

“Look, clearly you mean the world to Yeonjun-hyung. He’s not going to throw it all away over a confession. If he rejects you, it might be awkward for a bit, but you guys will be fine. Plus, I really doubt he’ll reject you. You guys are practically dating already.”

Taehyun always knows what to say to make Beomgyu feel better. He smiles before yawning into the phone.

“Beomgyu-hyung, you’ve had an exhausting week. You should go to bed. Get some sleep. Goodnight hyung.”

“Goodnight Tyun-ah.” He promptly hangs up and tosses his phone to the side.

All his worries wash away as he settles under the covers, allowing sleep to overtake him.

———~🐻🦊~———

Beomgyu and Yeonjun’s relationship returns to normal quickly after, the conflict being a tiny elephant in the room. Despite this resolution, Kai insists on treating Beomgyu to dinner as an apology. 

When Beomgyu arrives, Kai’s sitting at a table for two, twiddling his fingers and chewing his lips.

The poor boy is clearly nervous and feels very guilty. 

“Beomgyu-hyung!” Beomgyu just sat down and Kai stands up to give a 90 degree bow.

“I’m so sorry! I am deeply, truly, from the bottom of my heart, sorry. I didn’t mean to expose you like that. I just saw you guys acting cute and coupley and assumed you two were dating! I was just really excited and let it slip. I hope you guys are still on good terms…” Kai’s eyes water and Beomgyu wants to reach over and wipe the tears away.

“Kai-yah, you have nothing to worry about. It was an honest slip up, and nothing detrimental came of it. Plus, if I knew that I’d get free KBBQ and drinks, I would’ve asked you to do this ages ago!” Kai laughs loudly at the stupid quip and relaxes in his seat.

The two of them catch up, talking about work and life and Kai rambling about Soobin’s stupid antics while Beomgyu shares his own. 

Usually, Kai and Beomgyu bond over their shared love for Soobin, mostly because it’s easier to tease the older man. He’s clumsy, whines a lot, and says the dumbest things you’ve ever heard.

“Once, Soobin-hyung asked me what I’d do if my anus grew teeth. Like, who thinks about that?” Beomgyu’s flipping the meat while he tells stories. 

Kai shrieks loudly and starts laughing so hard the smoke from the fire moves with each laughter.

“He asked me that too! When I asked him why, he just said, ‘I’d go to the surgeon so I can receive treatment laying down.’ Clearly, he had thought about it a lot .” Kai claps his hands while he laughs, and Beomgyu places a hot piece of beef into his mouth. 

But this time, although they start off talking about Soobin, the topic quickly becomes more serious as Kai offers advice to a suffering Beomgyu.

“Kai-yah, I know that my feelings for him are unrequited. It’s obvious he only sees me as a friend.” Beomgyu’s being pessimistic despite months of evidence contradicting his claim.

“Beomgyu-hyung. I know I’m not the brightest, and I think with my heart more than my head. But just watching you two on the couch that day reminded me of when I first started dating Soobin. Sometimes, I wish I could go back to those days. Of course, I’m happier now, but I miss that intense longing for someone I love.” Beomgyu’s speechless, but Kai continue anyway.

“I think you should tell him sooner rather than later. Yeonjun-hyung looks at you with stars in his eyes. You’re on his wallpaper for crying out loud. He spends more time with you than he does with anyone else. He doesn’t even spend time with Soobin-hyung anymore. And that’s saying something, considering the three of us used to be attached at the hip.”

Beomgyu nods slowly. Kai makes a very good point: it’s unlikely that Yeonjun doesn’t feel nothing for him. But he still can’t imagine Yeonjun loving him back.  

Dinner goes by a lot faster than Beomgyu had expected. He thought it would be awkward, but Kai immediately returned to his normal self, even ordering dessert for Beomgyu and him to share. 

As they ate, they also took shots. Good thing Beomgyu planned ahead by having Yeonjun drop him off so that he could drink. And boy does he drink a lot. 

He takes a shot every time he sees Kai take one, an unconscious mirroring that causes him to down 9 shots by the time dinner is over. And Beomgyu’s absolutely hammered. 

When the bill comes out, it’s extremely expensive since they drank a lot and ate the expensive beef. But Kai pays the bill without a single complaint. Because Beomgyu is drunk, he calls Yeonjun and asks him to come get Beomgyu. 

When he sees Yeonjun’s car pulling up front, he helps Beomgyu walk outside. And out comes Taehyun from the passenger seat.

“Oh Taehyun! What are you doing here?”

“I’m gonna drive you home. Gimme your keys.” He holds his hand out, and Kai surrenders his keys.

“Hyung, let’s do this again sometime. Except, maybe somewhere cheaper. And also because you miss me and not because I have to apologize.” Kai says to Beomgyu.

“My cute Kai-yahh, of course I want to hang out with you again. You’re so cute and funny. Tell Soobinnie-hyung I said hiiiiii. Bye Tyunnie!!” Beomgyu’s fully slurring his words and swaying, but Kai thinks it’s too endearing.

“Oh Yeonjun-hyung! You’re here! Don’t I look so cute? Let’s take a picture!” While Yeonjun’s holding Beomgyu, Beomgyu snaps a slightly blurry photo where he looks absolutely drunk and Yeonjun looks amused. 

“Let’s get you in the car. Thank you for calling me, Kai-yah. Have a safe ride home!” With that, Taehyun drives Kai away and Yeonjun manages to get Beomgyu in the car.

Beomgyu dozes off during the ride, head leaning against the window. Yeonjun thinks Beomgyu looks very cute while he’s sleeping.

When they make it to the apartment, Beomgyu flops onto the couch and suddenly starts sobbing. Yeonjun panics and rushes over to his side.

“Yeonjunnie-hyung. Love hurts.”

Love. A word that’s hurting him too. He feels a pang in his chest as he listens to Beomgyu.

“Yeonjunnie-hyung. I love him so much. I want to spend my entire life making him happy. I want to bring him to meet my parents and I want to kiss him every single day. I want to live with him forever. But he doesn’t love me back. Why would he ever love me back? He’s so skilled and amazing and successful. Why would he ever settle for someone like me?” Beomgyu’s face is muffled by the couch.

Yeonjun’s heart drops. Beomgyu’s in love with someone else. Someone who isn’t Yeonjun. And that person seems like a catch from what Beomgyu said.

Fuck, he doesn’t stand a chance.

“Beomgyu-yah, I’m sure—” Yeonjun was going to offer words of comfort, but soft snoring indicates that Beomgyu’s fast asleep.

Well, it’s probably for the best. Otherwise, Yeonjun might’ve started crying himself. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Yeonjun tries to act like there isn’t a rain cloud hanging over his head.

It’s kind of hard to, though, because he can’t stop thinking about Beomgyu’s unrequited love. Who in their right mind would be too stupid to reject Beomgyu of all people?

Yeonjun doesn’t even have a clue who his unrequited love could possibly be. He doesn’t see Beomgyu interact with anyone other than himself and their friend group.

And Beomgyu definitely doesn’t have feelings for anyone in their group. Maybe it’s someone at work.

Gah, just thinking about it makes Yeonjun want to tear all the hair out of his scalp. Who could be so illustrious that they’re worthy of Beomgyu’s love, when Yeonjun himself isn’t?

He’s quite certain that Beomgyu has noticed his shifted demeanor, sending him concerned looks throughout breakfast and placing reassuring touches on his back whenever they pass by each other. 

At one point, Beomgyu’s phone buzzes, and he picks up the phone to respond to the message, giggling the entire time.

Giggling? Who is Beomgyu giggling at? What could possibly be so funny that Beomgyu feels the need to giggle?

Okay, Yeonjun’s being very jealous and possessive. And he should be! Beomgyu is his husband!

Except, they’re husbands in name, only. They agreed that it wouldn’t matter since they just got married for tax benefits. They even said that it’s alright to openly date since they’re not married for romantic purpose. 

Although he wants to be mad at himself for doing something as…romantically incoherent as marrying someone for taxes, he can’t. Because it actually worked. 

At the end of the year, Taehyun revised all their finances and realized that they saved a lot on taxes. Like, an overall expenses cut of 15% from saving on taxes and rent. Which is especially good for Yeonjun since he made a lot more money this year with his success in the girl group’s debut and Hit the Stage. 

It seems it worked at the expense of his emotional wellbeing though.

If Yeonjun wasn’t too busy wallowing in self-pity, he would’ve asked casually “Who are you texting?” 

If he had bothered to ask at all, he would’ve learned that the person who’s making him giggle is Kai. Kai, who just sent Beomgyu a picture of some funny lyrics he wrote in middle school. 

And now the two are animatedly texting about funny song lyrics, which of course is going to make Beomgyu laugh. 

But Yeonjun thinks he’s texting his unrequited love and giggling like a teenager because he’s lovesick. So he grumbles into his coffee and takes a long sip, looking over the frames of his glasses like an old man since the hot coffee is fogging them up.

Eventually, Beomgyu gets up and grabs a notebook from his room and starts making his way out the door, not even looking up from his phone as he shouts, “I’m going out. Goodbye hyung! See you later!” 

And he walks out the door, leaving Yeonjun to stew in his anger…actually, Yeonjun gets a fantastic idea. 

He hops onto his phone and logs into instagram. He obviously follows Beomgyu, and he can see the list of people Beomgyu follows. The friend group, lots of celebrities that Beomgyu likes, random edit accounts, and a list of people he doesn't recognize. They also don’t have a significant following, so Yeonjun goes through each account. 

Out of the 11 people he found, 6 of them are just restaurant owners that Beomgyu follows because leaving a review and following them on Instagram gives you a nice discount at their restaurants. Which is admittedly a very smart decision. Plus, they’re all older ladies or men that are already married. So nothing to worry about in that department. 

That leaves 5 people. 2 of them seem to be already married, which is good (although, the irony of the situation is not lost on him—a married man looking to see if his husband is dating someone, then eliminating other married people). 

2 people seem to be in a relationship already, and he knows Beomgyu isn’t a homewrecker. So he eliminates them. 

The last person is a man named Lee Heeseung. Someone Beomgyu has known since college. Someone he doesn’t recognize.

The first thing he notices about him is that he’s very good looking. He’s an up-and-coming singer, even getting signed as a featured artist on a song for Starship Entertainment. 

So he’s quite successful, which checks off one of the boxes in his mind.

Then, Yeonjun scrolls down far enough to see a cover of Off My Face by Justin Bieber. Curiosity gets the better of him as he clicks on the link and listens to his soft yet powerful voice singing a harmonious melody.

Fuck, he’s good. Which checks off the remaining boxes of skilled and talented. 

To top it off, Beomgyu comments on everything Heeseung posts, and Heeseung replies to each comment. 

Clearly, Yeonjun’s found his winner. Lee Heeseung is the guy Beomgyu has feelings for. Yeonjun shouldn’t be upset, Beomgyu wasn’t even his to begin with. But his breath quickens and his eyes start to tear up as he feels the burning rise of bile in his throat. The feelings of loneliness come crashing down again, fearing that Beomgyu is going to leave him, too. He curls into a ball and tries his hardest not to cry, but the tears come flowing down. 

Why can’t Beomgyu notice him? He’s talented and skilled and successful too. And they’re so compatible. And Yeonjun would give Beomgyu all the love in the world. And more. So why won’t Beomgyu love him back?

Yeonjun’s not entirely irrational though. He pulls out his phone to text Soobin.

me
soobinnie~
my binnie~~
do ur favorite hyung a favor

soobin-ah!!
Oh hyung…
You’re not my favorite hyung, but alright
What’s the favor?

me
[Attachment: 1 image]
who’s this???

 

soobin-ah!!
Why do you ask?
Don’t tell me…you’re stalking Beomgyu…

me
what?!???!?!
noo id never do smth like that
my agency was looking into him n he looks familiar

soobin-ah!!
Hmm…ok i’ll bite
That is lee heeseung, beomgyu’s ex bf and singer
His voice is very nice!

me
ok cool! thanks binnie!!

soobin-ah!!
Don’t exclude him just bc he’s beomgyu’s ex
They’re still friends and parted on good terms!

Okay, so they’re just exes. He’s pretty certain that Beomgyu wouldn’t have feelings for someone he once dated…right? An uneasiness settles over Yeonjun, but it’s better than the overwhelming nausea he felt earlier. 

His phone buzzes again, and he expects it to be Soobin, but instead, it’s from Beomgyu. 

my darling beomie ♡♡♡
hyungie!! can you do me a favor?
in my desk drawer, can you grab my old song notebook?
i think it has a pink sticker on the front?
it’s in the middle of the drawer somewhere, underneath a stack of papers

me
hello beomie!! :)
of course i can! hyung can do anything u need
is there anything else?

my darling beomie ♡♡♡
nope! just text me once you have it
thank you hyung ( ˘ ³˘)♥

Even though it was just an emoji, the kiss still makes Yeonjun’s heart flutter.

He stands up and runs to Beomgyu’s room, taking care not to trip over any of his belongings. Then, he opens the drawer and shuffles through its contents, taking out a folder, and then taking out all the notebooks to see which one has a pink sticker. 

He eventually finds it and grabs it. But another notebook was stuck to the bottom, and it falls onto the floor haphazardly. 

It’s a mysteriously thick book with the title “Yeonjun” on the front. The cover is black and thick, so Yeonjun has no clue what’s in there. But some of its contents spill out onto the floor facedown.

Yeonjun shouldn’t look. It’s Beomgyu’s stuff and invasion of privacy is seriously cruel. 

But his curiosity gets the better of him, and he wants to clean up the mess, so he picks it up and plucks the pieces off of the floor.

It’s…it’s a photo book. And there are quite a few photos in here. The earliest ones are dated to college, where he has a few pictures of Yeonjun dancing or photos of their first outing together.

But a lot of them are from after they got married. And each photo has a caption. 

The first photo of their meal at the park, tteokbokki lingering on his red lips while Beomgyu’s smiling brightly. The park is a beautiful backdrop, brightly colored flowers and green trees. The caption on this photo says, “first date with hyung!” 

The second photo makes Yeonjun sputter with laughter. It’s a photo of Yeonjun trying to twerk while holding onto a mop. The photo is slightly blurry because Beomgyu was laughing too hard while taking the picture. His face is comical too, lips out in a pout and a furrow on his brow. The caption says, “i want hyung to throw it back for me :P”

The third photo is a picture of Yeonjun when he was worryingly taking care of a very-ill Beomgyu. His face looks very concerned, tightly knit brows and a frown on his lips. His shirt has a funny slogan on it, which undercuts the seriousness of the situation, “Cha-ching! I got a$$”. It’s a gag gift Kai got for him when he graduated, and he only wears it because it’s comfortable. The caption says, “hyung is the best, taking care of me :)”

The fourth photo is a photo that he took himself. After they went to the doctor, Yeonjun was vindicated when the doctor told him that it was a lucky thing they got meds, otherwise, Beomgyu would’ve gotten sepsis. Yeonjun’s photo already has a caption, which says, “I’m always right. Beomgyu should always listen to his hyung 😎”. Underneath the photo, Beomgyu wrote another caption though. The caption says, “hyung was right for once. Thank you hyung.”

The fifth photo is probably one of his favorites because he looks really good in it despite being barefaced and clad in comfortable, oversized, baggy clothing. The day Beomgyu pampered him as congrats for finishing his choreography. He still has the handwritten note tucked in his phone case, reading it again and again. But the picture itself isn’t as sentimental. It’s a photo of Yeonjun’s cheeks comically puffed out, filled with ramen. Part of the broth makes his lips shine as he looks at the camera wide-eyed. The caption says, “Hyung deserved a break, and I’m glad he got one.”

The sixth photo leaves a pang in Yeonjun’s heart. The day Beomgyu cried his eyes out because his stupid managers were berating him for fucking nothing. That day is etched into his memory: the softness on his face when Yeonjun listened to his music, the way he timidly grabbed his arm and asked him to stay. The way he yanked him into bed and snuggled close to him. This photo is one he hasn’t seen though. He’s fast asleep, a soft expression on his face and Beomgyu wrapped in his arms. Beomgyu’s head is on his chest with a soft smile on his face. The caption reads, “This was the best sleep I’ve ever had.” It was also a very relaxing sleep for Yeonjun, too.

The seventh photo is from his birthday party, at the bar. This one doesn’t have anyone else, just him. Yeonjun has to admit, he looks very happy with the sparklers in his face and 30 lit candles that remind him of his growing age. The caption for this one, though, is very sweet. It says, “Hyung looks most beautiful when he’s happy.”

The eighth photo is also from his birthday party, but he doesn’t know who took the photo. Yeonjun’s clearly drunk in it, face flushed a dark red. Beomgyu’s sitting on his lap, though. Equally red, a smile on his face as he gazes directly into Yeonjun’s eyes. They look like a real couple in this photo. Yeonjun’s stomach flips when he reads the caption. “I want hyung to look at me like this forever.”

The ninth photo is one that he’s well acquainted with. His lockscreen. The photo where they’re all decked up before his legendary performance on Hit the Stage. Beomgyu wrote an entire essay underneath this photo, mostly raving about the dancing and the makeup.

“When hyung stepped onto the stage, I felt my heart stop. He looked so beautiful. He looked like that because of me. Because of my makeup. When he danced, I couldn’t tear my eyes away. I was glued to him, just like I was glued to him in college. I’m so proud of him; I wish I could tell him exactly how proud I am to see his progress.”

The tenth photo is another one from the same day, right before Huening Kai almost spilled his secret, a secret Yeonjun’s still unsure of. They’re smiling at each other as they hold hands over the cake knife, cutting the cake in fancy attire that looks a lot like a wedding photo. The banner hangs behind them beautifully, and their smiles are bright and wide. Beomgyu shared the same sentiment as him, because he captioned it: “It actually looks like I’m marrying hyung in this photo. I hope one day, we can take a real wedding photo.”

The final photo is a drunken selfie that Beomgyu took while Yeonjun was helping him in the car. Yeonjun’s amused expression is no match for Beomgyu’s drunk smile, a blurry picture with a giggle clearly visible on his lips. The picture doesn’t require much explanation: Beomgyu’s drunk and Yeonjun’s helping him. The caption says “I want Yeonjun-hyung to take care of me for the rest of my life.”

Yeonjun didn’t realize that he’s crying, nor does he realize how long time has passed since then. As he quickly adds the photos in chronological order, he flips to the inside of the front cover, where there’s a simple note. 

Dear Beomgyu,

If one day you see this book and wonder what it is, I’ll tell you. It’s a picture book of memories made with the wonderful Choi Yeonjun, the person you love most in this world. I doubt he’ll ever love me back, but that’s okay. I’ll just stay by his side, loving him quietly. I hope you enjoy flipping through all the memories, just as I have enjoyed doing so thus far. 

The note is dated to 8 years ago, back when they met in college. 

Yeonjun finally pieces together the secret. Beomgyu’s been in love with him since college. 

And Yeonjun was too oblivious to notice. 

Yeonjun finally hears a ding from somewhere far away. He grabs his phone and sees multiple missed messages from Beomgyu. 

my darling beomie ♡♡♡
hyung? did you find it?
hyuuuung, did you find it?
hyung
hyung
hyung
ok well i’m coming back anyways so i’ll look for it
i’m almost here
if you found it, meet me at the front door please :)

The message was sent 5 minutes ago, so Yeonjun grabs both notebooks and rushes to the front door, waiting anxiously for Beomgyu’s arrival.

Finally, after an eternity, the doorknob clicks, indicating that Beomgyu is home.

Beomgyu walks in holding a mostly eaten vanilla ice cream cone, still licking the last bits of ice cream. 

“Oh hyung! You found the notebook! Thank you so much!” Beomgyu leans forward to grab the pink notebook, but Yeonjun pulls back before he can grab it. Beomgyu stares at him with a flummoxed expression, then tries again, only for Yeonjun to put both books behind his back.

“Beomgyu-yah. I have a question for you first.”

“...Sure hyung…What’s up?” Beomgyu sounds uneasy.

“What’s this?” Yeonjun holds up the black photo book titled “Yeonjun” on the front. 

Beomgyu actually pales, a clear change in his expression. His hands shake, his voice shakes. His cone falls to the floor, making a gross splat all over the floor.

“H-hyung…How did you…where did you…did you…what…?” Beomgyu’s voice sounds distant and foreign, like it’s not his own voice. His mind his rushing and he starts hyperventilating, panic evident in his voice.

“I saw what was inside the book, Beomie-yah. Why didn’t you just tell me ?”

“You…saw…you saw…it…” Beomgyu’s fully panicking at this point. His ears ring and his world spins, finding it difficult to even breathe. 

He can’t hear anything Yeonjun is saying anymore. All he can think about is running away. All he can think is run, run away, run far far away. 

So he does. He runs out the door, running as far as his legs will carry him.

———~🐻🦊~———

Fuck, Yeonjun’s panicking now. And he’s still carrying the stupid photo book. 

Where did Beomgyu go? He’s been looking everywhere for him. He even ran into Kai on the way, who agreed to check the farther away places in case Beomgyu took a bus to go somewhere. 

“CHOI BEOMGYU? WHERE ARE YOU?” He yells at every location, yelling until his voice his hoarse before walking away. It’s late at night, he’s so worried that Beomgyu’s gonna get hurt, he’s so worried that Beomgyu will never talk to him again. He would never forgive himself for that if something happened because he decided to rashly confront Beomgyu about something he’s extraordinarily happy about. 

Way to go Yeonjun. 

The sun starts to set, and Beomgyu’s nowhere to be found. If he doesn’t find him soon, it’ll be too dark to see anything .

His feet ache, his thighs burn, and his phone tells him that he’s walked 3 miles. It’s already been an hour, where could he possibly be?

In a petty fit of anger, Yeonjun throws the photo book onto the grass and sobs, crouching to his knees and letting the tears fall freely. He fucked up beyond repair, he can’t ask anyone for help, and Beomgyu left his phone with Kai, so he has no way of contacting Beomgyu. 

Fuck fuck fuck fuck fuck. Fuck everything and fuck this whole situation. He can’t do it anymore.

When his tears have dried out and his voice is left to a pathetic hiccup, he looks down at the mess he made.

Thankfully, only one photo fell out. The first photo they took together. And he sees the beautiful flowers and green trees in the background and gets hit with a remarkable idea. 

Shoving the photo back into place, Yeonjun clutches the photobook to his chest and starts sprinting. Going as fast as his legs will take him until he reaches the front of the agency. Great. Now he just has to run around the building to the back. 

Why is the building so big? He walks as quickly as he can towards the back of the building, towards the setting sun. It feels like forever, but as he reaches the back, he hears soft humming. Humming the would recognize any day of the week.

Beomgyu’s humming. 

———~🐻🦊~———

Beomgyu sees Yeonjun rounding the corner, and he wants to run away again. But Yeonjun looks clearly distraught and exhausted, taking heavy breaths as he walks through the bushes. And Beomgyu doesn’t know where else to go, anyways.

He doesn’t even have his phone, so he can’t call Kai and tell him that he’s alright. He’s such an idiot.

“Beomie-yah…”

“Hyung, please don’t hate me! I’m so sorry that I—”

“No. I want you to listen to me first.” Yeonjun walks slowly to Beomgyu, each footstep signifying a louder heartbeat that resonates in his chest cavity. 

“Beomgyu-yah, I love you.”

“You…you what?” Beomgyu shakes his head to make sure he’s not dreaming. To make sure that he’s hearing everything properly.

“I love you. I’ve loved you for some time now, and I was too stupid to realize. I looked at every single photo in this book, and I have a lot to tell you.”

“First of all, I love all the pictures you took of me in college. The way you saw me is so beautiful. You saw me in ways nobody else did. I wish I paid attention to the way you looked at me. Maybe then I would’ve found my happiness sooner.”

Beomgyu’s staring into his eyes, an unreadable expression on his face. Yeonjun swallows the lump in his throat and continues, clutching the book tightly with shaky hands.

“Most of all, I love all the pictures we took together after we got married. I wish I had seen this a long time ago. Each precious memory we had, documented for others to see. In the first picture, I like to think of that as our first date, too. And that’s how I found you know, looking at the old photo.” Beomgyu smiles and looks down at the photobook, which Yeonjun has opened. 

Yeonjun takes a seat beside Beomgyu on the bench, splaying the photo book on both of their laps. Then, he points to each photo as he goes along.

“In this photo, I think it’s funny how you took the picture at the perfect moment. I look ridiculous, but I’m glad it made you laugh. And I’m especially glad you like doing chores with me. When I do them with you , it’s actually enjoyable.”

“Now this picture…my shirt is so ridiculous I can’t believe Kai bought this for me. But I was so happy to take care of you, even when I was worried sick.” Beomgyu rolls his eyes at the cheesy pun, but he’s still smiling. 

“Here…I love this picture, because I literally told you to go the doctor earlier. But I’m glad you eventually went. I don’t know what I would’ve done if you were hospitalized. Probably go insane.”

“As for this photo. Why would you do that to me? Taking a photo of me while I’m shoving ramen in my mouth…that’s so mean…but I would love it if you gave me another massage. It was the best one I’ve ever had in my life!”

Yeonjun’s just prattling away now, the confession turning into a long-winded ramble about memories.

“And here, I swear I was fast asleep. I don’t remember this photo being taken. But I’m not surprised that I snuggled close to you, you’re a very comfortable person. And I slept really well that day.”

“This birthday cake was so extravagant. I still can’t believe you went to all those lengths for me. I’m 95% sure nobody else was expecting you to have a cake already prepared for me. And I look so nice in the photo. No wonder you printed it out.” Yeonjun says with a wink, and Beomgyu laughs for the first time that night. 

“This photo…I can’t believe I did that…but I’m kinda glad because I really like it when you sit in my lap. Your thighs are very comfortable, and you look so cute when you’re blushing. And I remember really wanting to kiss you, but I obviously didn’t.” Beomgyu buries his face in his hands, the tips of his ears red. Cute, Yeonjun thinks. 

“And here…this night was one of my favorite nights. I had a lot of fun performing on stage and watching you react. We looked so beautiful, I wish I could wear makeup like that again and have a photoshoot with you. Maybe one day we will.” Beomgyu seems to like that idea

“When we were cutting the cake, it felt like we were actually getting married. And I allowed myself to melt into the feeling. Remembering the warmth of your hands around mine, your bright grin while everyone else cheered for us, the way you fit next to me so perfectly. I think about that night a lot in a different context.”

“And finally, the most recent photo. You were so cute when you were drunk. And you cried about unrequited love. And I was so jealous that you could love someone that wasn’t me, and they didn’t even love you back! I was too stupid to realize that I was the one you were talking about. Except…it’s not unrequited. I love you. And I want to take care of you for the rest of your life, just like it says in the photo.”

Beomgyu’s crying, not out of sadness, but overflowing happiness.

Beomgyu’s confession is a lot less eloquent. He’s just sobbing emotions, but Yeonjun wouldn’t have it any other way.

“Yeonjun-hyung, I love you! I’ve loved you for so long and I was so scared to tell you my feelings and when you told me you didn’t mean it when you said I filled a void in your heart I wanted to cry so hard and I would’ve been just fine loving you from the sidelines but I don’t want to love you quietly anymore! I want to love you loudly! I do love you! I love you so much! Sometimes I think it’s going to make me explode.” Beomgyu pulls Yeonjun into a surging hug, damp tears falling onto Yeonjun’s scalp. “I love you a lot, Yeonjun-hyung.”

“And I love you a lot, too.” Yeonjun’s voice is muffled by Beomgyu’s chest. 

“You know…” Comes Beomgyu’s voice. “I bet Soobin-hyung’s going to have a field day with this one.”

“Really? Why?” 

“Soobin-hyung’s been trying to get us together for years. Ever since he found out I had a crush on you. He always told me that I was the brightest yellow that mixed with your royal purple.”

Huh. That’s actually a perfect way to describe them. 

They’re just staring into each other’s eyes now, Yeonjun’s gaze occasionally dropping down to the soft pinkness of Beomgyu’s lips.

“Hyung…”

“Hm?” Yeonjun’s eyes don’t move.

“You’re staring at my lips.”

“I know.”

“Do you want to kiss me?”

“Yes. I’ve been dreaming about it for so long.”

“Well. You can. I’ve been waiting for this moment for years.” Yeonjun places his hand at the nape of Beomgyu’s neck. Beomgyu’s hands cup Yeonjun’s cheeks.

Then Yeonjun leans forward, then Beomgyu leans in a little bit more, the gap between just enough to prevent their lips from touching. They stare at each other's lips, daring the other to make a move first. Then Yeonjun closes the gap, pressing their lips together. 

Yeonjun has kissed lots of people before, but never has it felt like this. Like a calming wave that’s been shocked with a sudden current. Each nerve is fraying. Each nerve is melting away, relaxing. He feels simultaneously boneless and overwhelmed. Yeonjun can smell the strawberry lip gloss, can taste the strawberry lipgloss and lingering vanilla flavor from the ice cream he was probably eating. Beomgyu's teeth gently graze the sensitive skin of his bottom limp, and Yeonjun's feels a jolt run up and down his spine. 

Beomgyu’s lips are so soft, and he keeps making soft whimpers every time Yeonjun moves his lips, every time Yeonjun swipes his tongue at the bottom of his lip. 

Beomgyu grabs the back of Yeonjun’s head and pulls him closer, making their teeth knock. Yeonjun’s lips are unbelievably soft and his tongue is so warm. Yeonjun somehow always smells like peaches, even now when they’re locking lips in the dark. 

Beomgyu’s head is spinning from the overwhelming feeling of Yeonjun being everywhere. And also because he hasn’t been breathing at all. He pulls his head back and gasps loudly for hair, his lips tingling from the sudden rush of blood. 

Once he’s caught his breath, he leans forward and kisses Yeonjun again, pressing his tongue and allowing Yeonjun to part his lips enough so they can properly make out. It’s sloppy, saliva going all over his face, but he doesn’t care. In fact, he likes it. He could get lost in the feeling until the day he dies and never get tired of it. 

Kissing Yeonjun is a push and pull. He applies a sudden pressure, then he relaxes, making Beomgyu’s head reel from the sudden change. He kisses passionately then gently. Aggressively then softly. Sloppily then chastely. Yeonjun’s the perfect kisser. And Beomgyu always reciprocates in kind, mirroring the push and pull that Beomgyu gives. 

They’re perfectly compatible in the way they kiss, never leaving a dull moment.

They’re in the middle of making out when Yeonjun’s phone rings. It’s Kai. Fuck, he completely forgot about him.

“Hello?” Yeonjun’s voice is breathless and thick, clearly from kissing, but Kai thinks it’s from running around.

“Did you find Beomgyu?”

“Oh yeah, I just found him. I was actually about to text you.”

“Okay hyung. I’m going home then. Take care.” Kai hangs up and Beomgyu laughs at Yeonjun’s sheepish expression. 

“Alright hyung, I think it’s time to go home. We can continue this later.” Beomgyu begins standing up, but Yeonjun pulls him back down.

“Wait, before we go…” Beomgyu looks confused, until Yeonjun opens his camera and turns on the flash.

“I want to commemorate the day we officially got together. Say cheese!” Yeonjun and Beomgyu make a heart with their hands, and Yeonjun snaps the photo. Their lips are swollen, cheeks flushed, hair messy. Stars twinkling in the background.

But it’s real. It’s them. It’s a photo that Yeonjun sets as his new home screen, a private memory that he can see every single time he opens his phone.

The newest memory to put in their photobook.

———~🐻🦊~———