Work Text:
It was an old journal. She could tell that it had at least her age old, it was covered in dust, just like the box where it was stacked (and everything else in there), along with a lot of other weird stuff, like jars full of dirt or oil, and little metal bottles with what looked and smell like water. All those things had printed on them symbols she had already seen, symbols that, in fact, were more than familiar since they were spread all over the house. Almost hidden, behind the curtains, under the carpets, carved in the back of the cupboards; she even had one of those in a neckless one of her uncles had given her when she turned sixteen.
The thick dust barely moved when she blew it, so instead passed a hand over it to get it a bit cleaner. The covers were made out of dark stained leather, and a rare symbol was printed in the cover, like a lot of triangles grouped in the middle of a circle. She slowly opened it, being careful not to crack it, but the journal opened as if it was brand new. In the first page she could read the title: Journal of Sam Winchester, the last Man of Letters.
She gasped and a small shriek died in her throat as she recognized her uncle’s name, turned the page and read the first entry:
February 19th 2013
I found this empty journal among the things that were abandoned in this bunker, and given the chance I though it a good idea to leave behind a tale of the journeys that me and my brother Dean have and are immerse in.
We’ve just recently found out about our so called Legacy, about our inheritance as Men of Letters, and this bunker we’ve established as our safety place now. But I feel good about this, and though it’s hard to settle it’s already starting to feel like home. Dean’s happy.
She closed the book a little too hard and dust flew all around. Someone was coming up the stairs. She dropped the journal into the box and covered it again with the blanket, moving swiftly to the other end of the attic. Her father’s head appeared in the hole of the floor, his greenish eyes blinking slightly as the dusty air hit his face.
“What’s taking you so long?” he snapped at her climbing into the room easily, and she smiled at his grace to move.
“I can’t find this damn box!” you shouted back. “It was labeled as ‘kitchen ware’, it should be around here, but I just can’t find it!”
“Well, you better hurry, you promised waffles, and we want waffles.”
“If you helped me I could find it easier…” she snapped back, squinting her eyes and cracking a laugh out of him.
“Okay, okay, I’ll help. Let me just…” his eyes strode around the room and lingered a second on the pile of boxes and the sheet. “I’ll take care of this pile over here. I just wish your mother would’ve been a bit more organized about all her crap.”
She kept looking for the box she already knew her father was going to find, because it was right next to the one labeled as ‘PAST’, that she was just looking; and while at the pretending she fixed her eyes on him, waiting for a reaction, but nothing happened. He just removed the sheet, tossed the box aside and picked the correct one with a triumphant laugh.
“HA! I found it! It’s waffle time, Rosey.” And he tossed her the heavy box.
“DAD!” she screamed, barely grabbing it, before all the contents ended in the floor.
“Oh… well, you’re gonna need to pick al that up.” And he hastily climbed down the stairs, getting out of her sight just in time to avoid a little plastic cup.
She sighed and kneel on the creaky wood, tossing everything but the waffle machine. There were a lot of things there that she hadn’t seen ever since her mom had passed away, nearly ten years ago, the precise moment her father had stopped traveling. She never knew what her father’s job was back there, something in the law enforcement, like FBI or CIA, sometimes he would come back hurt and lay down for days on their bed, and she would take care of him. Those times were some of her best memories, and she never told him but at some point she had started wishing he would get hurt so he would stay with them.
Her mind tracked back to the box and the journal, and before going back down to the kitchen she grabbed the leather book and hid it in her room.
“Well, it was about time!” Sam said as Rose walked into the kitchen holding the dirty machine “I’m starving!”
“Well, you can help yourself to some crackers, uncle, because I still have to clean this thing up. It’s covered in ten years of dust and rust.”
“Oh man!” Dean moaned, letting himself rest over the table “But I want them now!”
“Stop whining you big old man!” she laughed, and tossed him a cloth that landed on top of his head and stayed there.
A sound came from the next room and Sam turned around quickly, as always. He and Cas, her other uncle, had never left the force, and seeing them was a whole treat, as they were always on the road. Sometimes they would call her father late at night and he would lock himself on the library to talk. When younger, she used to sit by the door and stick her ear to it, trying to catch a bit of the conversations, but the only thing she would get was the sound of drawers opening and closing, books falling and Dean swearing out loud when that happened. Sam would always thank him when they came back.
“Must be the ghosts.” Rose joked, but he and Dean looked at each other with an apprehensive look.
“You’ve repainted the windows and door frames, haven’t you?” Sam asked to her father.
“Of course, Sam, every six months, I never forget.”
The sound of something falling to the floor and crashing came loud and the three of them rushed into the living area, only to find Cas almost fainting, clasping to anything he could grab, trying to stay on his feet.
“Cas!” Dean and Sam shouted and run towards him to catch him, as she grasped her mouth in a silent scream.
He was hurt, badly. Blood everywhere, pale and weak. Rose rushed to the guest room to put on clean sheets and open the windows, and then back running to the kitchen to boil some water and get clean towels.
“Rose! Where’s the medic kit!” she heard her father calling and ran into the bathroom to get it.
“The water and towels are almost ready” she said entering the room shaking a little with the little white box in her hands.
“Good.” Said Dean without looking at her as he and Sam removed Cas’ clothes, and then looked at her with those eyes she knew so well “Please, go get them.”
She nodded and went to grab everything, holding her tears back. That look. That was the look in her father’s eyes when her mother was going away and there was nothing he could do. He would sit by her side for hours, crying and whispering things in her ears, telling her how he hated that he couldn’t save her from the cancer. Telling her how he had defeated so many monsters but he couldn’t vanquish the one that threatened him the most. And now he had that look in his eyes again.
Rose picked the towels and the water and by the time she got back the tears were already falling down her face. Her uncle was lying on the bed, stripped from his shirt and she could see the blood pouring out from his stomach.
“Oh, god.” She moaned, placing everything down on the night table and raising a hand to her mouth again.
“Honey,” Dean said, turning around to face her “please, go away. There’s nothing more you can do here.”
“Dad, we should take him to the hospital!” she whispered.
“We can’t. But he will be alright, I promise that. Now please, go away. Go get some reading done or something.”
Sam placed a hand on her shoulder and guided her out, leaning down a bit to look at her too.
“We know what we’re doing. Cas is gonna be alright, Rosey, I promise.” Dean was leaning over the unconscious man slapping his face.
“Come on man! Wake up!” he was shouting “Come on, you’ve got to…” but she never knew what he had to do, because Sam closed the door in that exact moment.
She trusted them. Of course she did. Her family were the most caring and capable people she ever knew, but she couldn’t help to wonder what was that got Cas so hurt and why they couldn’t get him to a hospital. Her mind suddenly flew back to her room, and the journal, and rushed up stairs in search of an answer.
February 26th 2013
We’ve had nothing to do since the case with James, Portia and that damn cat. Dean’s began to personalize things around here, and I must say that sleeping repeatedly on the same bed is an improvement to my sleeping problems.
We haven’t heard much from Garth or Kevin lately, not since the first trial, I hope they’re okay. The trials. Maybe I should explain this a little further in case some day a new Men of Letters comes around. We’ve been dealing with God’s tablets since last year, but Kevin has told us now that we can actually use the Demon Tablet to close the gates of Hell, locking all those damn bastards forever, in order to do that we… well, I, have three trials to accomplish: killing a hellhound was the first. Hence my sleeping problems.
This could be our chance to stop bad things happening. This could be our first step to a way out of The Life.
Rose was looking blankly at the words she had just read. Was that a code? It didn’t looked like a code. She wanted to keep on reading, but was afraid of what she might found, she was afraid of finding out the secret her father had worked so hard to keep.
March 23rd 2013
Castiel is gone…
“Castiel?” Rose read the name a couple of times, wondering .
Castiel is gone. Dean said he beat the hell out of him before breaking some kind of mind control from upstairs. He flew away with the angel tablet, I hope he’s okay. Dean’s not happy today, he’s trying to keep it together, but right now I can hear the punches coming from the training room.
Meg’s dead. Crowley got to her and she died to save us. Meg had been trapped by Crowley all this time, she looked like hell, but in the end she was one of the good guys. It’s a weird thing to say of a demon, the last one I trusted tricked me into opening Lucifer’s cage. But I think I’m gonna miss Meg. She loved Cas. She died to save him.
I miss Amelia today.
At this point she stopped reading again and closed the journal. It was to much. Angels? Demons? Lucifer? And Castiel… he sounded like it was her uncle, but he would never hurt her father. And what did all that mind control thing meant? Where was ‘upstaris’? What was ‘upstairs’?
Footsteps started to sound on the stairs and she hid the book back under her pillow and sat there, looking forward and grabbing her knees.
“Sweety?” asked her father while knocking on the door and peeping in.
She looked at him with her eyes full of tears and he walked into the room and sat by her side on the bed, placing an arm on her shoulders and giving her a rushed squeeze.
“Is uncle Cas going to die?” Rose asked in a soft and steady voice.
“No, darling. Uncle Cas is not going to die. I don’t think he ever will.” And there was a note of relief in his voice saying this that made her look up at him. And she believed him again. “He will be up in no time. Meanwhile, we should make him something to eat.”
“Okay” she said, standing up “I’ll cook him some soup. What do you think?”
“I think he’ll be thrilled.”
Sam and Dean locked themselves in the library that night. Cas was still asleep but the color had returned to his cheeks and the bandages were clean, so the bleeding had stopped. Rose stood by his side for a while, reading and telling him all the things that had been going on while he was out working.
“So… I think I’m up to this PHD thing, they’ve offered me the spot and though it’s not enough to go to live on my own, at least Dad’s gonna be a little less financially hooked. Did I tell you? I’m gonna major in Folklore Studies.”
“No, you didn’t…” said a deep voice by her side and Rose jumped to her feet with joy.
“Uncle!”
“It’s so good to see you, Rosey.”
“It’s so good to see you awake… Can I…?” she extended her arms to him.
“Come here, little sunshine.” He answered, and gave her a strong hug. A really strong hug.
“I should go get Sam and Dad.” She said with a smile and walked to the door, but lingered a second and turned before leaving.
“Uncle Cas… what’s your full name?” she asked without meeting his eyes, and Cas’ forehead furrow a little.
“Cas Novak. That’s my name, you know it, Rose. Why?”
“I just… It’s nothing.” She smiled again and left the room.
Castiel watched her leave and something deep inside him moved. Lore studies… Rose had little time of apple pie life left.
Rose knocked slightly on the library door but no one answered, so he stepped inside to find it empty. She hadn’t heard them leave, but yet again she had dozed off of a bit. So she took out her phone and pressed the green button.
“Yes, sweety?” Dean asked on the other side.
“Dad, Cas is awake. Where are you?”
“Oh, okay, we’ll be home soon, we just uh… we came to the shop down street to get some snacks.”
“Alright. Well, hurry up.”
“We will. Love you. Bye.” And he hung up.
She walked slowly back to the guest room to find Cas already standing up and buttoning a clean shirt that her father had probably left there.
“My coat is ruined.” He said with a vague smile as he heard her step inside.
“I’ll wash it later. We might be able to do something about it…”
“Oh, it’s better if I just get a new one.” He answered “Maybe a purple one.”
“Oh, shut up. Make it a black one and I will be able to presume you to my friends in college.”
He let out a loud laugh and hugged her even tighter than earlier. But when they parted, he rested his hands on her shoulders for a second, and gave her a wide sad smile.
“I love you so much, Rose. I just want you to be always this happy and safe.”
“Well, a good way to accomplish that is to… you know… try not to die?” Cas smiled and hugged her again.
The front door opened and they heard steps rushing towards the room.
“Rose? Cas?” Sam’s voice reached them.
“We’re in here!” she shouted back and he and her father walked into the room.
“Oh, man, thank god!” Dean said patting Cas’ arm “We almost thought there was no coming back for you.”
“It was a close one.” Castiel answered “But not today. Still, we should talk…” and he gazed back at Rose.
“I’ll make the dinner.” She said, and walked away as she heard the three of them walking back into the library. “That was a fast recovery…”
After dinner she secluded herself to her room and took the journal back out.
April 30th 2013
It’s been a while since the last entry and a lot has happened. Kevin figured out the second task and it literally made me walk into Hell. Avoiding Crowley’s people wasn’t easy, but convincing Bobby’s soul that it was the real me was the worst part. Apparently they had been torturing him with doppelgangers of Dean and Me. We made it out eventually, but Benny’s gone now. He stood in Purgatory. Dean was really wrecked up, and I must admit that it made me sad as well, he was a good guy for a Vampire. And Bobby’s resting upstairs now. I hope he gets a good Heaven.
Rose knew Bobby, her father and uncles talked a lot about him and they usually said that Dean was the new Bobby. She always thought he used to be some boss of them that had retired. She shook her head and kept reading.
Charlie was here last week too. Well, not here, but with us. She actually helped us defeat a Djinn. I’ve missed her, she’s like a fresh breeze to our lives. Dean’s a bit happier since she left. I think that he’s proud that he saved her. Good.
I’m feeling a lot worse since the second trial. I shan’t say anything, but my body aches and I can barely sleep. I think I’m starting to lose weight.
May 10th 2013
We found Cas again. He’s alive and well. Thankfully he overpowered the angel-blade-bullet that Crowley shot at him. He’s gone with Metatron now, they’re gonna try and shut the gates of Heaven too. If everything goes right, there will be only humans and monsters walking the earth. We’re gonna shut it all down. Crowley is the last trial.
June 15th 2013
Nothing went the way we planned. I was going to die to shut down Hell but Dean wouldn’t let me. We’ve got Crowley prisoner now, addicted to human blood. It’s disgusting.
Cas was tricked by Metatron. The angels fell and now they’re crawling the earth. Castiel is lost, we don’t know where he is and Dean says he’s human now, all his angel Mojo was stolen by that asshole. Dean’s worried. We’re worried. I’m not feeling ok either, not finishing the trials left me in a hospital bed for longer than I wanted to.
An angel, Cas, Castiel, her uncle, he was an angel. Was he human now? She wanted to keep reading, but the tiredness was beginning to close her eyes. She made sure the book was secure under her pillow and turned off the lights. The last thought in her head was about how old her uncle Cas was.
It was late at night and Rose had been sleeping for a while now when Dean stopped in her doorway to watch her sleep.
“Cas says you know something… I wish I could keep you away from this life.” And he closed the door a little and went back downstairs.
“She’s fast asleep.” He said to the others.
“Maybe it’s time for us to get some rest too.” Said Sam with a wide yawn, his head resting on his hand.
“Maybe you should.” Castiel said standing up. “The house is safe and I’ll keep guard. I’m feeling a lot better now.”
Rose woke up to her phone ringing on the night stand and started to hit the surface randomly with her face still deep into her pillow. Finally she found it and raised her head to look at it. Her friend Lily was texting her.
So, did your handsome uncles come home? I was feeling like having a beer with you. *wink*
She smiled a little and typed and answered fast.
Oh, come on Lil, they’re like a million years old. She stopped there, everything she had read the previous night coming back to her, thinking that probably Castiel was a million years old. They did, but they’re working with my dad, we better hang out down town.
She pressed send and walked to the bathroom to take a shower. It was nearly 10 o’clock in the morning, she loved summer holidays, she loved sleeping in and not having a lot of work to do, and she loved that for a couple of months she had no exams, no papers and no grades to keep up.
A hot bath helped her finish waking up, and helped her think as well. She had decided that she was going to tell them about the journal, but she wanted to read it first. Maybe going out today was not such a great idea, but on a second thought, it gave her the best chance to sneak the house for hours not having to give a lot of explanations.
The little green light on her phone was blinking when she returned with Lily’s answer.
Oki doki, meet you at the coffee house at three.
Dean, Sam and Cas were already up when she went downstairs, and the smell of waffles flooded her and grew a smile on her face.
“Morning sleepy head!” Dean said smiling and placing a plate full of waffles in front of her.
“I was supposed to make them, Dad!” she protested.
“Well, you were sleeping, and I was hungry.” He answered. “Doing anything special today?” he asked, and Rose could tell there was a note of anxiety on his voice.
“Going for coffee with Lily,” she answered trying to sound innocent “maybe window shopping later. I won’t be home till dinner.”
“Okay, great!” he said happily sitting next to you.
“You’ll say for the night, right?” Rose asked Sam and Cas, who nodded and smiled.
“We’ll stay for another couple of days.” Castiel said quietly. “You still have to tell me more about that degree you’re applying to.”
The morning went by slow. They seemed a lot more calmed than the night before, and they even stood in the living room talking about happy past times.
“Oh, come on, Dean! Bea didn’t want anything to do with you when you first met! You were glancing at the pie!” Sam laughed as they started digging into Rose’s parents story.
“She was all over me, don’t lie to yourself, Sammy.”
“Yeah, she was all over you trying to get some attention from you, because you wouldn’t answer her question.” Said Cas softly.
Rose smiled. She knew the story back and forth. Dean had stumbled into the Cheesecake Factory looking for pie. He had had a bad day and wanted something to eat it away. She would be exasperated as he didn’t even look at her while making the order and ended up kicking him out for his rudeness. Dean had returned the day after with a bouquet of flowers and asking her out for a beer, to make up for his unbearable behavior the day before.
She loved hearing about her mother. She loved her and losing her had almost destroyed her and her father, Bea had been the light in their lives and she shone so brightly with happiness and constant optimism that Dean used to call her his Little Beacon of Hope, then reduced to Beacon, then reduced to Bea. Deep in her mind Rose knew her mother’s name had been Margaret.
She glanced the three grown men that sat there with her and smiled. Her father had that light in his eyes that only her mother could manage to produce, shining and alive, filled with joy. He was getting old, his hair had strains of gray and there were wrinkles in the sides of his eyes. Rose knew now he had given up everything for her, to stay with her. She didn’t know how much “everything” was, though.
Sam was old too, though he still had his long brown hair, untouched by the time or the worries. His hazel eyes had the weight of a long and hard life, but the light of pride and happiness. He had never got married, he never stopped traveling, and now Rose knew he never had gotten out of The Life. But he seemed okay with that, and every time he looked at her she saw hope.
Cas was ever the same she had ever known. When little she would ask why he was always wearing the same clothes and she had even bought him a couple of t-shirts he used to wear. As time went by, he stopped changing when they were home and kept himself to his coat and suit. A long time ago Rose had stopped wondering. But now she knew he was no ordinary man, and loved him even more for trying to please her every time.
She smiled and suddenly a knot formed in her stomach as she realized that this was her family, and she didn’t wanted that to change, not even a little bit. A part of her wished she had never found that journal; that her uncle had never appeared in the living room nearly dead.