Chapter Text
Johanna suddenly opened her eyes, noticing it was still night. Her heart was beating like crazy, and for a second the first thing in her mind was the nightmare she always has. Or had. Right. She didn’t have to worry about it anymore, since the Lord of Dreams was true to his word and she was no longer haunted by the ghost of her mistake.
Then, if it wasn’t that, what could possibly cause her heartbeat to quicken? She wasn’t sure, as she tried to remember the dream, but couldn’t. Although, being reminded of her new acquaintance made something stir in her brain, and she could almost see a dark silhouette standing, hidden in the shadows, just like that first time.
She was in her bedroom this time, the curtains were open and the moon was gracefully illuminating the space, so there was nowhere to hide. Still, her eyes searched the area, just to confirm she was completely alone.
When she was convinced no one was in the room, she closed her eyes and took a deep breath, calming herself down. Her heart was no longer racing, but the image was vivid in her mind: gray eyes looking directly at her, piercing her own.
Surprisingly, she went back to sleep.
She now knew she was dreaming. It worked like that sometimes, she’d be conscious while she was having a dream. Those were her favorites, because it usually meant she could control everything that happened. Except this time she couldn’t, and it wouldn’t matter anyway, since she was a bloody raven.
Not to mention there was nothing she would want to do, because it was the night she met Morpheus, and she could see herself talking to him, but at the same time it wasn’t her, because she was stuck in the body of a bird.
She remembered so many things from that night, especially what concerned the Lord of Dreams, since she was focused on helping and all that. However, being able to explore this particular memory certainly put things into perspective. Although she didn’t notice at the time, she could tell she was interested in him, not only in the you’re actually interesting way but in the I’d pull you up against a wall way.
Yep. She would definitely shag the Lord of Dreams.
And that was nothing to be ashamed about.
She could see the way her body reacted to his proximity, which, by the way, was a bit suspicious. Why would he stand so close to her? Was he interested as well? She couldn’t discard that possibility; she knew the effect she had on people. Does he fall in that category? Possibly not, but he was still somebody. A being. He could have interest in others. And from what he said that night, he seemed to know one thing or two about love.
Not that she would go that far. What she felt was strictly physical. Nothing more.
She paid attention to the contrast between them, not only when it came to clothing, since he was wearing black and she, white. She was aware she was attractive, but Dream… wasn’t on the same level of attractiveness that she was, if she had to be honest. However, she wasn’t always as shallow as that, she could be deep and care about other things, like personality and stuff. In that case, she had to admit he had something about him, maybe it was the mysterious expression that was constantly on his face, or perhaps his sulking vibe… yeah, that was probably it. It was quite charming, she would say, if you were into sad, damaged, emo guys. Which she was guilty of.
She watched as her human self went into the rain, only to look back at Dream when he called her name, promising she wouldn’t have that nightmare anymore. Yeah, it was nice of him. But then again, she did help him to find his sand so his act of kindness could be considered as payment.
She didn’t know what else was supposed to happen. Should she follow herself? Not that interesting, considering she went home again after that. Maybe follow Dream? He was standing there, watching her go. Not that she would know how to do that, since she had no clue where he went after she left, and this was just a dream.
She decided then that she would try to wake up, since she was conscious and was pretty sure she could succeed at this attempt.
Johanna was about to open her eyes—her human ones—when she noticed a movement, still in the dream. Morpheus turned his body to her direction and stared directly at her.
Wake up, his deep voice whispered in her head.
And she did.
Johanna was confused. She’d been thinking about the dream for over a week now, and that’s been a problem, since she had work to do and trying to decipher the dream was getting in the way of that.
Not that she wasn’t capable of doing her job. Even when she couldn’t focus 100% on the tasks she had to do she still did pretty good, but pretty good wasn’t the same as excellent.
Despite not being content with her performance at work, she couldn’t help but wonder what everything meant. She had her suspicions, but nothing she could actually ratify, especially because confirmation would only be possible if she talked to the Lord of Dreams, and she wasn’t really sure she wanted to do that.
Her answer as to why she was having dreams about him was simple: she was kind of into him and her subconscious was trying to tell her that. Okay. Message received. And she wasn’t going to deny it. She did find him attractive, yes. Now, why would he turn to her in the dream? That was what she was more concerned about, because there were two possibilities.
Number one was that her mind simply filled in the blanks and showed her something that didn’t actually happen that night. It made total sense, taking into account that it was a dream and she couldn’t possibly have known what Dream did after she was out of sight. But that option was pretty boring.
The second possibility was that, somehow, dreaming about him turned into some sort of call that he ended up answering, which made him appear in her dream. It also made sense, since he controlled the dream world. And it was way more exciting than the first one.
The thought of it actually being him and not just an image of him made her shiver. If it had been him, he would probably be aware of her… intentions. And that was kind of embarrassing, because she was the one having these dreams, and not him. Although… could Dream of the Endless have dreams? Did he even sleep? How did that work? Well, probably not, since he was The Dream and all that shit.
The problem was that she wouldn’t have the answers unless she managed to talk to him to make things clear, and she wasn’t intending to do that, at least not at the moment. For now, she would just come up with crazy theories for her insane dreams.
Another week passed and she was good. No more dreams, at least not about Dream. Everything was chill, she could focus better on work, even though every night she felt her heart skip a beat with the prospect of seeing him again. Jesus, that sounded cheesy as fuck. But she couldn’t help it. It was exhilarating, but every morning when she woke up she’d be… disappointed. And then would proceed to move on with her life, until she wasn’t expecting anything anymore.
But either her mind or the Lord of Dreams had other plans for her, because that night, almost after three weeks, she dreamed of him.
This time she didn’t know where she was, it wasn’t anywhere she’d been before.
She was standing in a field full of daisies that didn’t seem to end. The sun was shining in the blue sky with a few clouds slowly moving away, making way for what appeared to be a storm.
That’s when she noticed Morpheus approaching. She rolled her eyes when he was a few steps away.
“I have to admit the scenery seems rather fitting,” she said while she looked around.
“And why is that?” He asked, patiently staring at her.
“It’s not the first time it rains when we’re together,” she explained. “Plus you can’t blend in on a sunny day,” she smirked.
He considered what she’d said, “perhaps you are right. But this is not the reason why I am here,” he admitted.
“Well, tell me then. What are you doing in my dreams?”
“Dreams?” He repeated, clearly curious. “Have you been having dreams about me, Constantine?”
Johanna held her breath, not sure of what to say. She had already given herself away when she asked the question. How would she go back from that? It was best to own it.
“To be honest, this is the second time, or maybe third? I don’t even know anymore,” she said, a bit flustered to admit losing count of her dreams with him. “And I’m not sure why. Maybe you could just tell me.”
Dream was looking at her like she was the only thing worth focusing on. Like there was nothing else as interesting that could possibly hold his attention.
“I cannot answer that,” he finally said. “The dreams are yours, you realize. You are the one who holds the answer, Constantine.”
Damn.
Johanna didn’t know how to react. Mostly because she didn’t have any answers. Partly because she liked the way he said her name. Which he didn’t have to do all the time, by the way, but she wasn’t going to complain. But still, he was annoying. Would it hurt to share a piece of information with her? He knew all about dreams, certainly he could tell her what was going on.
“Okay then, if you’re not going to help, I believe we don’t have anything else to discuss,” she said, losing her patience. “Send me back.”
“Are you sure?” Dream asked, slightly raising his left eyebrow.
“Yes, I am!” She exclaimed.
“Very well,” he conceded. “Wake up.”
And then she was no longer dreaming.
Johanna was annoyed. She’d been trying to understand what happened in her last dream with Morpheus. And all she could come up with was that the Lord of Dreams was conceited as fuck. What was that “you’re dreaming about me so you have the answer” bullshit? Was he the King of the Dreaming or not? He’s the one who has to interpret dreams, not her.
Yet here she was, cracking her brain around this nonsense.
Yeah, he was cute, but he wasn’t all that.
At this point she would be glad with hate fucking him just to get it out of her system. But he’s playing hard to get, and contrary to popular belief, that didn’t do much for her. It just annoyed the shit out of her, to be honest.
If she’s interested and he’s interested, they should just do something about it. No need for silly little games in silly little dreams.
At night when she went to bed, she was determined to find him. She was going to lay down the cards, she decided.
Unfortunately, she didn’t dream about him that night. In fact, she didn’t dream at all.
To her surprise, dreaming about him was successful when she didn’t try too hard.
In this dream, they were in a park late at night. He was waiting for her on a bench and she was the one walking towards him this time.
“We need to talk,” she said, sitting next to him, but not making eye contact.
She didn’t want to let those dreamy eyes distract her. Ha. Dreamy. Because his name was Dream.
Fuck, she hated herself. Hopefully he wouldn’t have access to her thoughts.
“Do we?” He inquired.
“Cut the crap, Dream,” Johanna said, finally looking at him. “Let’s just settle this like adults, okay?”
He looked a bit confused, like he had no idea what she was talking about, so she tried to clarify.
“You obviously know why I’ve been dreaming about you,” she declared. “I’m tired of this game we’re playing so let’s get this over with.”
She didn’t wait for him to say anything and leaned over, getting closer to him. Or so she thought, because before she could actually kiss him, he backed away. His perplexed expression was all she could focus on.
“What are you doing?” His voice was a bit lower than usual.
“I—I was going to…” she trailed off, not sure she should continue.
How come he didn’t realize she was going to kiss him? Was he clueless? If she thought things were embarrassing before, they were way worse now. She couldn’t believe she was being rejected by Morpheus. She thought he was into her.
Apparently not.
This time she didn’t ask him to send her back, her embarrassment was strong enough that she managed to wake up without his help.
Johanna had decided to forget about everything that happened from the moment she met Dream. It wasn’t worth it. It was only driving her mad and making her ignore her responsibilities.
But it was hard. She hadn’t dreamed about him since that last time. The one in which he rejected her. And that was almost eating her alive. Not because she couldn’t handle it, but because she was sure he was interested in her too.
She would be lying if she said she wasn’t trying to come up with reasons for the rejection. Maybe he wasn’t expecting her to be that forward. Maybe he wasn’t ready to kiss someone after all the time he’d been imprisoned. Maybe he was just bad at relationships. Maybe it was a combination of all three. Maybe, maybe, maybe.
She wasn’t sure of anything. And, again, the only way to know the truth was talking to him, but she didn’t feel like it. Especially because of what happened. She couldn’t face him right away. She needed time.