Chapter Text
“No, I mean... she likes you”
“Well, dates are not something I really do, you know. I mean, I used to. Have done. And if I was going to, believe me, it’d be with you.”
“I wish this would go on forever.”
The Doctor stood at the console, hunched over, her brain a jumbled mess of words and emotions. Of course, she’d argue that this is how she was most of her lives, but this time.. this time, it was different.
Those three statements (among many others) kept swirling around, all throughout her brain and, most annoyingly, her heart. She’d been here before, and she didn’t like it then either. It confused her, made her feel weird, and it just completely messed up how she does her work.
Love fucks you up, she remembered hearing once, and it was ever so true in her mind.
She promised herself that this was over. That she’d sufficiently detach herself from anything like this… after Clara. She knew the risks, and she knew the pains that would come from it, and she felt confident that she’d avoided it.
Just traveling with her Fam, hanging out, seeing the universe. Just like it had been with Tegan, Nyssa and Adric and Amy and Rory. Simple, wholesome. But as per usual, nothing in her life was ever simple.
I want more. More of the universe. More time with you. You’re like the best person I’ve ever met.
Brilliant, beautiful, fantastic, amazing Yasmin Khan. Just the mere thought of her name now made the Doctor’s heart skip a beat.
It had been that way since New Year’s Day, when everything seemed to change.
Of course she was pretending. Of course she knew. She kept her at an arm’s length for a reason. She would not make the same mistake twice, like she did with Martha.
All she had needed was to wait for the right time and then she’d let her down gently. They’d move past it and be time traveling best friends like she wanted. Like what she felt she needed.
But… she ended up on her own with her.
She’d been so… broken once she returned from jail. She’d hardly even had a spare second to even ponder about the bombshell that changed who she thought she was when she was thrown into prison for decades.
She wanted to think about what the Master told her, but she spent nearly every waking minute worried for her friends, not knowing what became of them.
Once she came back to them, she thought she could just get back what they once had, but the universe didn’t give her a win, not this time.
Yaz’s shove only further showed her how much had changed… how much she had changed.
She immediately found out what Yaz was doing in the spare Tardis once she got there, and for one of the few times in those few days, she smiled internally. It felt nice to know that at least someone missed her as much as she missed them.
But it was only a temporary joy.
She still had to deal with the fact that she’d no idea who she was anymore. She thought stopping the Daleks would be the key to unlocking it, but it only made her feel worse.
It just brought back painful memories of going too far before, being thankful this time she could bring herself back from the brink. She still mourned the loss of that Tardis, however.
But the ever changing nature of her life didn’t stop there.
She didn’t blame Ryan and Graham for leaving, as much as it hurt to see. She knew how many times she wished her friends had left earlier, in order to prevent a tragic end, and she was thankful she didn’t have to go through that with them.
She was glad Yaz stayed, but she still knew of the impending talk she’d need to have with her. It all seemed like it was working out the best it could be based on the cards dealt, but she didn’t want that.
She wanted the original days she had with them. Where the worst thing they encountered was Tzim-Sha, where she knew exactly who she was and she had plans of taking Yaz under her wing like Ace.
So yeah, why wouldn’t she want to go back in the Tardis and change it back to how it was before? Start over. It would have been so simple to do it. But then she felt the hand on her back.
Calming, pleasant and soft. Like a reassurance that she didn’t know she needed. It felt like at least some weight was being lifted off her shoulders for once.
She’d been holding in so much and trying to act like everything was fine, like it would just be normal again, that when she heard those five words, she nearly didn’t know how to react.
It’s okay to be sad.
She took half a second to really register what was said, and who it was said by, but… it did what she wanted.
For the first time in those few days, she simply let herself breathe, relax and for once, just accept that everything wasn’t ok.
She’d left Yaz standing there not long after and had (admittedly) a big cry in her bedroom, only stopping once she heard her outside the door, worried.
Of course, she put on a brave face, wiped away her tears and assured her she was ok when she clearly wasn’t. Yaz didn’t need to know all the reasons she was like this, but she assumed she at least knew one of them.
The Doctor thought that was it and that she’d be left alone, but Yaz’s foot stopped the door. She stepped into the Doctor’s room and simply looked at her, with an expression the Doctor couldn’t register, before crossing the space between them and hugging her.
There were no words shared between them outside of one muffled “Thanks” and “No problem” each as they held onto each other. The Doctor silently thankful Yaz did what she did.
But it did not stop there.
There was a tiny moment where they locked eyes as Yaz was leaving the room, so quick that you’d not know it happened as a casual observer.
But as soon as the Doctor’s greens made contact with Yaz’s hazels, she could feel this rampant surge of energy inside of her.
Building quickly up from her stomach to her face and out came… a blush.
She nearly gasped at the feeling, unexpected as it was, looking away immediately. But the noise she made got Yaz’s attention, which allowed the Doctor to see the same blush on her cheeks as well. Eyes locked onto each other again.
This time, time seemed to stop.
There was a nervous smile between them as Yaz quickly darted out of the room. The Doctor chuckled to herself at how cute it was, before the realization hit her. That feeling in the pit of her stomach did not go away..
“Doctor!” Yaz shouted, breaking the Doctor’s thoughts.
“What? Oh, right!”
She rushed back into the thick of it, quickly remembering what she was doing. She fiddled and twisted different switches and buttons, all in the name of getting the Tardis exactly where she needed it to be.
She looked at the ship on the scanner, the distance between itself and the Tardis not being that much, smiling to herself.
She didn’t have to look far to know why they were in such a good position, happy her lessons were proving to be valuable.
“Keep holding it down! It’s giving us the right amount of speed. I’m going to see if I can boost it!” The Doctor said, determined, hitting a part of the console with a hammer.
Yaz looked over, watching her work as the ship jerked forward, getting closer to its target.
Yaz inched over as she looked to continue their increase in speed, reaching over to flick a switch. But the Doctor had the same idea, as their hands brushed against each other.
“Sorry, I didn’t know you…” The Doctor stated, the apology flying out of her mouth.
But the accident didn’t phase Yaz, who simply grabbed onto the Doctor’s hand and squeezed it with a smile, serving as her apology acceptance.
The Doctor smiled as well, once she felt it, as she quickly got back into position, tracking the stolen ship.
If you’d told past Yaz that she and the Doctor would be at a point where something like that was possible, she’d anxiously wait for it to arrive, but it was here and very real.
But it wasn’t always that way.
She’d had crushes before. Of course. It’s a standard human thing most of the time.
But entering a world where she was becoming an adult, soon entering her 20s, she felt like she was.. past them.
She had a job, a new life. She was moving on past childish things. She needed to get serious.
At least, that’s what she’d tell herself most of the time, making up for the fact that she didn’t always enjoy her job.
So imagine her shock and relief when she went to investigate a train with her old school friend, and saw…. her.
Mad, impossible, pretty as hell.
She was instantly captivated by her, and any kind of idea that she was knowledgeable on her own merit melted away.
She could tell that this woman knew so much and had been through so much and just wanted to learn as much as she could. And while being transported into space wasn’t the ideal way she wanted it, she still cherished the ability to continue being with the Doctor.
Races around the universe, meeting Rosa Parks and dealing with mutated spiders. It would seem like the stuff of dreams or nightmares to any regular person.
But to Yaz, it only solidified how she felt about her.
She meant what she said. The Doctor was the best person she’d ever met, and she had no intention of letting her go. The next few months only proved her right for what she wanted.
No one needed to check on her after what happened with her Nani and Prem, and frankly, she’d have been fine if she was left alone. But the Doctor still came up to her, assured her everything worked out ok and even offered to stay with her to talk.
By the end of her first year on the Tardis, she’d call the Doctor her best friend.
Every new adventure was a chance to enjoy herself with her, a chance to do something new, learn something new. If you’d asked her, she’d say she didn’t want to leave, but felt that she could leave anytime she wanted.
But the situations changed.
She’d never call herself someone who was ever terrified.
While not foolishly brave, she’d usually be the one walking into danger alongside the Doctor. But once she found herself in the alien place when those glowing figures took her, she’d never been so scared in all her life.
She’d no idea if she’d even survive in that place, let alone see anyone she loved ever again. So once she saw that light coming towards her again, she assumed that this was it. That her time was up.
So when she somehow found herself face to face with the Doctor in a box, she assumed it was some kind of last moment before her death. It took a bit of time, but she slowly realized she was still alive.
It was the Doctor’s face and her words that finally calmed her down. She knew Graham was there, but every fiber in her being told her to focus on the Doctor.
All she could remember from the rest of that night was wearing the Doctor’s coat as she kept from shaking, the Doctor’s eyes staring directly into hers as she made her feel safe and secure.
From that moment on, she knew, she just knew. That she would never be parted from this woman if she had the choice.
She’d never felt so safe around someone, felt like she needed someone so much. Felt like she wanted to be with someone so much…
Back then, she thought it was just a strong, friendly bond, but eventually she realized it was something much more than that.
That it was a feeling beyond just friendship…
“Yaz, we’re never gonna catch that Zygon if we don’t keep it in our view! It’s getting away.”
Yaz shook her head of her thoughts, as she ran over to keep the pressure on the ship.
“Sorry!” she said, in the Doctor’s direction, who nodded in acceptance. “Why are we going after the Zygon for, anyway? You never told me. You just said it was for Kate.”
“They’re an escaped prisoner from during the Zygon uprising. Flew the coop once Kate was gone and the Grand Serpent took control.”
“The Zygon what?” Yaz said, eyebrows raised.
“Zygon Uprising of November 2015? Do you not remember what was going on? The posts online?”
Yaz simply shook her head. “I was getting ready for Christmas A Level exams.”
“Fair point.”
An explosion from outside then rocked the Tardis, nearly causing the duo to fall.
“It would appear that they are now shooting at us!” Yaz said, holding onto a piece of the console.
“I noticed! Need to get out of the line of fire now!”
Another shake up but this time intentional, as the Doctor tried to keep pace while keeping out of range. It had been a long old while since she’d been so dogged in a chase like this.
But secretly, it was more than a routine thing for her old job.
Once she had been informed of the Grand Serpent’s role in the dismantling of what she knew as UNIT and Kate going dark soon after, she had felt terrible about it.
She used to routinely check in on them, as she was unknowingly helped in her time after losing Clara and her memories. She owed them a lot for that, and it bothered her constantly that she wasn’t there for them in their time of need, especially Kate and Osgood.
So, when Kate called to inform her about this Zygon, she immediately took the job. Although she could have more fun with it, if she was honest.
“It’s heading towards Earth!” Yaz said, eyes wide, aware of the impending target.
“What year?!”
“Uhh..2022!”
“Oh good! Oh, we were just there! I hope Dan’s date night is going well.” The Doctor said, a cheeky grin on her face, which got Yaz to giggle as she recalled how they left him.
Yaz had hardly had time to help straighten his bow tie when the Doctor dragged her back into the Tardis once she got a lock on the Zygon. Dan could only wave confusedly at a dematerialized ship as the duo got on the chase.
Both ships sped into Earth’s atmosphere, with the Tardis keeping a safe distance from the weapon touting Zygon ship. Thankfully, they could keep it in sufficient view, not straying too far away from it.
“Where is it heading?!” the Doctor shouted, taking full control, leaving Yaz on scanner duty.
“Uh, Europe, I think!” she responded.
“England most likely. It’s always England!” The Doctor said, shaking her head. But Yaz surprised her this time.
“No, it’s…. Monaco!”
“Monaco?!”
“That’s what the scanner is saying!”
It was definitely a departure from where she normally ends up, but she was very much ok with a difference in destination.
Only problem was that the fugitive was speeding up, and with the Tardis already being mistaken for a UFO before, the Doctor didn’t want to risk getting shot down.
So she had a different idea.
“Yaz, take us a bit closer! I need to do something!”
Yaz quickly headed over to the Doctor’s side and took control as the Timelord ran towards the doors. The Tardis gave her an air bubble to protect her from the rushing winds as she snapped the doors open, taking her sonic out.
She steadied herself and pointed directly at the ship, which was just beginning to get closer and closer thanks to Yaz.
“You’re not getting away that easily.”
She pressed the button, and the sonic emitted a pulse which hit the back of the ship, unbeknownst to the Zygon, as she also got some vital information. She quickly shut the doors and headed back to the console.
“Take us down.” She informed Yaz, who, while not hesitating to do so, was interested in why.
“How come?”
“I got its signal. Its battery was running low too. It’s gonna have to land to let it recharge. Turns out pushing your ship to its limit that you’ve not used in ages has its disadvantages.”
Eventually, the Tardis descended into the area with a familiar thud. The pair quickly burst out of the Tardis, the Doctor in front, sonic in hand and pointing. They took a few paces forward before the sonic began beeping.
The Doctor’s smile at the sound enchanting and confusing Yaz.
“What did you find?”
“It’s landed, not too far away from we are.”
“Which is?…”
The Doctor looked around before finding a patch of grass, picking it up and naturally tasting it. Despite spending the last few years with her and feeling how she did about her, even Yaz still couldn’t excuse the plant tasting method of place discovery.
Nevertheless, the Doctor did pop back up, chewing it and attempting to figure out their position.
“It’s definitely a Thursday night. I’d say about late June. Though I’m not so certain about the place.”
“Monte Carlo.”
“Ah! That’s it! Just got it! How’d you guess?” the Doctor asked, intrigued.
Yaz pointed up to the sign that clearly demarcated that that’s where they were. “Just looked up at the sign.”
“Oh.” The Doctor said, disappointed. “Good work.”
“You’re mad you didn’t check there sooner, aren’t you?” Yaz said, smirking.
“A bit, yeah.” The Doctor responded, relenting with a smile, “Can you give me your phone? I’ll let Kate know where we are.”
“Sure.”
She then stepped away from the blonde, allowing her some space to radio in. There were certainly worse places to be chasing an alien.
She could suggest a few from their travels together. She’d seen Monte Carlo in films and books before, but had never been, so it could definitely be considered a perk here.
Traveling to alien planets was always fun, but it could never beat good old Earth. Especially a place that was known for inspiring such beauty, such riches, such…
She turned towards the now laughing Doctor, as her smile seemed to light up the place more than the street lights itself, as her heart fluttered.
Such romance….