Chapter Text
Life makes no damn sense.
Varian’s tried to make it make sense, mind you. It’s how he found himself so enamoured with science. At its core, science is taking the absolute mess that is reality, and slowly piecing it together to make sense of it. Categorizing elements one by one, creating formulas to predict how much weight a bridge can stand, describing how each species interacts with its unique environment; it’s monotonous, and sure, sometimes incredibly boring- but it makes sense.
Of course, logic and Corona are old enemies. Every time Varian thinks he understands something, Corona flips it on its head. That’s also why he hates magic. While science is rigid- it follows patterns and lets you make predictions, magic is flexible. It changes on a whim, and without the power to predict, it can be infinitely more destructive.
Varian tried to apply science to magic. He'd tried to study it, break it down into its components and put them back together again. That’s how he ended up here- pushing his way through the worst blizzard Corona has ever seen. His bones ached and his fingers and toes burnt. All of this because he’d been too stubborn to listen to his dad.
Dad.
Varian cringed, pushing further through the blizzard. There was no telling what he was going to find back home. He had no idea what he was going to do. Without his dad, he was completely on his own. That thought terrified him- he was always a pretty lonely kid, but no matter how alone he was, his dad was always there, ready to clean up whatever mess Varian had made this time. (He’d thought he had other people he could depend on, but Rapunzel had pretty clearly demonstrated that wasn’t the case.)
The wind screamed as it whipped past his face. It stung his cheeks and dried out his eyes. He could see the roofs of Old Corona in the distance- he was close, but not close enough. He trudged his feet through the snow, feeling his muscles begin to lock up and slow down. The wind was unbearable now, but it didn’t feel nearly as cold as it did before. Distantly, he knew he should be worried that he didn’t feel cold anymore. He grabbed onto a tree as he felt his eyes begin to flutter closed. Luckily, he wasn’t shivering anymore. It made it easier to rest against the tree and let his eyes close. A short break before he got home wouldn’t kill him. A small part of him was screaming at him to keep moving, but he let those thoughts subside as sleep took over.
When he came to, he saw white- but he wasn’t in the blizzard anymore. The silence was a jarring contrast to the howling wind and left Varian on edge. He pushed up off the floor and looked around. He was in a bright white room- it was empty, without a speck of dust or dirt.
“Hello?” He called out.
His voice echoed off of the walls. Nothing.
“Dad?! ” He cried out. Still nothing.
He curled up into a ball. He pulled his knees to his chest. The quiet was deafening, heightening his panic. What he wouldn’t give for his dad to pull him up onto his knee and hug him.
That thought motivated him to stand- dad needed him. He felt woozy as he stood as the room began to spin. It didn’t get better, spinning more and more making him feel nauseous. The room felt off somehow- he couldn’t put his finger on it.
He turned around, jumping as he noticed a door in front of him. That hadn’t been there before?
He ran towards it, pulling it open. Everything went fuzzy before Varian blinked, staring at the melted snow on the ground.
Before this room would cloud Varian’s every waking thought- he had to be dreaming, but it didn’t feel like he was dreaming. This meant something- there was some kind of explanation that was just waiting to be found.
All his questions vanished into thin air as he stared up at his dad, completely encased in the amber.
Maybe there was an explanation for what he saw- some earth-shattering revelation about the nature of the universe. But he'd thought the same thing about the rocks. His curiosity had gotten him into this mess. There was no one left to pick up the pieces, so it was time he grow up and clean up after himself for a change.
Days turned into weeks, weeks into months and soon his loneliness twisted itself into anger- an uncontrollable desire to burn every bridge he had left, to make the people that abandoned him feel as lost and alone as he did. Soon his memories of the strange room completely slipped from his mind.
A lot can change in a few years.
Understatement of the century.
Somehow, within 2 years, Varian went from a bright-eyed 14-year-old to a shell of his former self, perfectly content with watching his home burn to the ground, to- whatever he was now. He’d been so convinced that destroying Rapunzel would fix everything- and then she’d turned around and twisted that thought on his head, showing him kindness he knew deep down he didn’t deserve. Somehow, not only had she forgiven him, she kept her promise. His dad was safe. He wasn’t sure if he could forgive her yet- and she was understanding. Their relationship had been fractured and repairing it was going to take work, but they were both determined to get there.
He didn’t realize how much he had missed Rapunzel until she was back in his life. Her smile was infectious, and even on his worst days, made him feel warm.
His relationship with Eugene was a little bit more strained- there wasn’t much there to begin with, so rebuilding trust was going to be rough. When Rapunzel had first forgiven him, he was convinced he was never going to regain Eugene’s trust- he was cold and withdrawn, only talking to him to not so subtly check he wasn’t building something behind their back that could destroy them.
It wasn’t until one night when Varian was staying late at the palace, that Eugene finally warmed up to him. When Eugene couldn’t sleep, he took walks around the castle- when he began to approach the kitchen, he heard weird noises. It was too late for any chefs to be working, so he crept in, prepared to catch whatever bandit had broken in red-handed.
Of course, it was the middle of the night so Eugene wasn’t at the top of his game and didn’t notice the little furry tail in front of him until he placed his entire weight onto it (you try sneaking around in pitch black when it’s 2 in the morning and you haven’t gotten a wink of sleep). His soul left his body as he heard a screech , followed by an equally high-pitched scream. He lit his torch and was face to face with an incredibly frazzled Varian. In his panic, he’d thrown the brownies he had been trying to sneak out of the kitchen everywhere.
Eugene snorted, looking at the mess Varian had created, but his gaze softened as he looked at the teenager- his face was pale as he looked around at his mess. He was terrified (Of me, Eugene realized). He hadn’t walked in on a master criminal plotting his revenge, he’d walked in on a teenager sneaking snacks out of the kitchen.
“You know, if you’re going to steal from the kitchen, you should steal stuff from the pantry over here,” he pointed over at one of the cabinets. “They’ve got a bunch of snacks in there. No one ever notices when stuff goes missing.”
Varian’s shoulders lowered as Eugene walked over to open the pantry- as he’d promised, it was stuffed full of sugary snacks. His eyes widened as Eugene handed him a cupcake, before shoving one of the croissants into his mouth.
“I won’t tell if you won’t,” he said, his voice still muffled by the croissant.
Varian smiled. “Deal.”
That wasn’t the only thing that had changed.
Varian had noticed how somber everyone was after the Saporians had been arrested- something had happened while he was gone. He’d also noticed Cassandra’s absence. He couldn’t find the confidence to ask what had happened- it was clearly a sore subject.
The last thing Varian had expected to hear was that she’d turned on them. He’d been convinced she was dead- but here she was, very much not dead. Dead people don’t tend to kidnap people, tie them to poles and force them to give you ancient incantations.
Looking at Cass was weird- he recognized her- her face hadn’t changed- she was still clearly Cassie, but her eyes had. She looked at him with uncomfortably familiar contempt. She had so much hurt and anger that she had spent so long suppressing. He knew better than anyone what that was like.
If Rapunzel’s forgiveness had been enough to bring him back from the darkness, maybe his was all Cassandra needed.
Or maybe not, he thought as he plunged from Cassandra’s tower to the ground below.
Eugene wasn’t sure who screamed louder- him or Varian as he watched him fall. Everything happened in a blur- his relief seeing Rapunzel OK was immediately clouded with nauseating panic as they both ran down the stairs of the tower.
He skipped steps as he ran, his brain cycling through scenario after scenario. Maybe Lance caught him, maybe the fall wasn't that far, maybe he survived maybe he's OK, maybe-
His heart sank as they stepped outside. Lance was standing waiting for them- Kiera and Catalina stood silently behind him. His heartbroken look was all Eugene needed to see to know what had happened. He looked down to Lance's arms where he cradled Varian's body. Lance’s shirt was wet with the blood from Varian’s head wound, but he still held tightly onto him.
“No,” Rapunzel mumbled, racing towards Lance. She helped Lance settle Varian down on the grass. Eugene still hadn’t moved. He kept staring at Varian’s body, willing his chest to move, him to move his head just a little, to give them any sign that he was still alive.
He waited one moment. Then two. Then three. Nothing.
Reality came crashing down on him.
He was dead.
Varian was dead.
A sob ripped out of Eugene’s throat as he fell to his knees. Rapunzel looked up at him, tears pooling in her eyes. She grasped onto Varian’s lifeless hand, wrapping her hair around it.
“Flower gleam and glow,” she choked out through sobs.
“Sunshine,” he tried.
“Let your power shine,”
He placed his hand on her shoulder- her grip around Varian’s hand tightened.
“Make the clock reverse, bring back what once was mine,”
She placed her hand on Varian’s cheek, rubbing it lightly with her thumb.
“What once was mine.”
When nothing happened, Rapunzel’s determination cracked. She screamed, burying her face into Varian's chest. Eugene was trying to hold himself together, but he wasn't doing much better than she was. They were going to have to talk about this- someone had to tell Quirin, but no force on earth was going to move them.
With her face buried in Varian’s chest, she didn’t notice his arm start to twitch.
Eugene did, staring at it as his arm began to move properly. He tapped her shoulder. She shrugged him off, grabbing Varian’s shirt tighter. Eugene sighed and tried again, shoving her shoulder harder.
Suddenly, Varian was gasping for air. Rapunzel jumped up and screamed (Volume-wise, successfully she outdid both Varian and Eugene). Varian, who seemed just as disoriented as she was, started screaming a beat after her.
Eventually, the shock wore off, and to the delight of everyone’s ears, so did the screaming.
“Hi Rapunzel,” he said awkwardly.
Rapunzel stared dumbly at him.
Eugene, however, guffawed at Varian's nonchalance.
“Hi?! Hi?! Kid, you were dead.”
Varian’s brow furrowed. “Well obviously I wasn’t,” he said, touching the back of his head. He cringed, resisting the urge to dry heave as he felt blood in his hair that hadn’t quite dried yet.
“I-,” Eugene started, before taking a deep breath. “Kid, I don’t know how to break this to you. You were dead. Muerto. Expired. Gone the way of the Dodo. You were not breathing.”
Varian gave Eugene a calculated look.
“Eugene, you’re not making any sense.”
Eugene cried out when finally Rapunzel’s brain started working again.
“Guys. It’s been a long day. We can deal with everything later. Can we go home?” She asked.
“Sure thing, Rapunzel,” Varian said, moving to stand up. Before he could, Rapunzel’s weight crashed into him.
“Oof- Rapunzel.. Can’t.. .breathe,” he wheezed. She loosened her grip, but not a moment later, Eugene was on top of him as well.
“I’m really glad you’re OK, kid,” Eugene said softly.
Varian smiled, leaning into Rapunzel and Eugene's hold. He couldn't find the heart to complain when he felt Lance, Kiera, and Catalina's arms wrap around him too.
Varian thought the others were a little overprotective before. Sure, it made sense- their relationship was strained but Varian was slowly becoming like a little brother to Eugene and Rapunzel. Their overprotectiveness was very much appreciated even if he never said it out loud. He had spent so much time trying to survive on his own that he didn’t realize how much he missed being able to lose himself in someone’s arms when he was being threatened by his boogeymen.
After the events at Cassandra’s tower, however, things ramped up to an 11. If Varian hadn’t been seen by anyone for 10 minutes, they went into a frenzy (he knew because he’d timed them. To be exact, the longest they had gone without tearing the castle apart was approximately 9 minutes 46 seconds.) It was sweet, but also smothering. As much as he appreciated the company, it was hard to focus on anything with Lance’s whistling, the scratching of Rapunzel’s paintbrush, or the way Eugene tapped his foot.
They were steadfast that they had found his body- no amount of explaining that that was literally impossible could convince them.
“Sunshine’s hair glows, and brought me back from the dead, Goggles. Are you really going to act like it's impossible you died?”
It was a good argument- a really good one. Everything Corona stood for was an affront to science and reason- he knew that. Probably better than anyone else here. He just couldn’t accept it. He tried to push it to the side, knowing they had way bigger fish to fry (and honestly he wasn’t super stoked to have another magic thing to investigate. Magic was stupid and he wished he could just erase all traces of it and only leave reason behind. Of course, a feat like that would require magic.)
“Rapunzel’s hair heals. Sure it didn’t glow, but maybe it healed you still?” Lance suggested.
That was also a really good point- it was an explanation that Varian had latched onto because at least it was familiar. They already knew the Sundrop had healing properties, and Rapunzel’s hair not glowing was honestly the least weird thing about the whole Sundrop and Moonstone thing they’d have dealt with.
But that explanation didn’t satisfy him. It didn’t put all the pieces together- something was missing. Of course, Lance couldn’t know that. There was a lot he still hadn’t told the others. He didn’t tell them that when he fell, he opened his eyes in a disturbingly familiar white room- that he had been here before, during the blizzard when he’d miraculously survived falling asleep during the peak of it, waking up when the snow had begun to melt. He hadn’t told them the room felt real despite the way it felt like it should be a dream. He hadn’t told them about the door that appeared just out of his line of sight both times he’d been there. Rapunzel wasn’t there during the blizzard. (Ha. Ouch.) She couldn’t have healed him.
Rapunzel couldn’t have healed him.
So, it was easier for Varian to just reject their theories. Maybe he’d pretend to believe Lance’s hair theory, just to get them to leave it alone. He was losing his mind- something was happening to him and he couldn’t explain it. He tried book after book late at night when no one could freak out if he was alone (except that one night when Eugene came to check on him at 3 in the god damn morning, and almost gave him a heart attack when he burst into the library.) The magic section was honestly pretty measly- not that Varian had ever complained. Anything he found about coming back from the dead was all hypothetical. He couldn’t find anything about actual recorded cases, any proposed explanations, hell even spells you could cast to make it happen- there was zip. Nada.
The fact he couldn’t explain it was terrifying. The rocks were scary, sure. They’d destroyed his home and taken his father away from him, but this was his body. This was his literal life- somehow he had come back from the dead twice, his body had knitted itself together piece by piece, fixing the ravages of the cold and the damage from a several-story fall and he couldn’t find a damn explanation.
The Zhan Tiri threat was ever looming- Cassandra had proven herself to be more of an enemy than they had appreciated before. She had done a lot of bad, but she’d proven at the tower that she was ready to sever all of her ties, and succumb to the darkness, and that was something they couldn’t ignore anymore. Varian dove into Project Obsidian. Part of it was pure excitement at getting to work with his former idol and his big brother. (Actually getting to work with him, and not slowly going insane as he sat behind him, tapping his damn foot.) Another part of him was desperate for a distraction. Eugene knew something was up; he wasn’t nearly as terrified at the prospect of encasing Cassandra in amber as Eugene, or Varian for that matter had suspected. His desperation to keep his mind away from whatever had happened at the tower somehow trumped any lingering fears or trauma that orange substance had.
Project Obsidian going off and ruining everything gave him that much-needed distraction. He couldn’t think about the tower when he was too busy absorbing himself into guilt. Running through each what if. His invention had destroyed Corona again. He had ruined everything again. Rapunzel was mad at him again .
Even after the dust settled, after Zhan Tiri was defeated, the moonstone and sundrop were gone, and Cassandra was brought home, Varian was still wrapped in guilt. Rapunzel had reassured him time and time again that it wasn’t his fault- that things had worked out in the end.
It was pretty clear that self-loathing wasn’t going to be the distraction he was hoping for. Rapunzel was stubborn when she wanted to be, and she would die before she let her baby brother believe that Zhan Tiri’s rise was his fault.
Varian was going to have to find answers sooner or later, but he had torn Corona’s library apart- he’d asked Xavier for help, dug through the Herz de Sonne tunnels, looked through everything he had recovered from Demanitus’ tomb- there was nothing.
He wasn't going to find the answers in Corona; that was incredibly obvious, but he didn't even know where to start looking.
There had to be somewhere he could go that was bursting at the seams with all of the knowledge mankind had ever recorded. He just needed to know where to look.