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The canteen was bustling with students, and Donghyuck put his tray down on the table Jeno is currently sitting at, with Mark and Chenle in tow.
"Have you heard." Donghyuck started, and Jeno, who was munching on his food, mumbled out a short, "What."
With his jam-packed schedule this semester, Jeno didn't exactly have the time to pay attention to what was going on around him. And despite being busy themselves, it seems like his friends still always manage to keep up to date with whatever "tea" that goes around campus anyways so he was never really out of the loop with them informing him about said teas, despite his lack of interest.
"Yijoon rang Minki's alarm." Chenle interrupted, which earned a gasp and a scandalized look from Donghyuck, complaining about how he was going to break the news first.
Now that kinda intrigued Jeno. Not because he particularly knows the people involved in the story, but 'Love Alarm' is a new app that has been pretty popular lately, with its one purpose function, which is alerting people when someone within their 10-meter radius has romantic feelings for them. Now that itself is a pretty cool concept Jeno must say, but it's not for him.
Almost everyone has become too dependent on the app, that the thought of someone liking you when they didn’t ring your alarm, is absurd. Guessing for them, depending solely on the app to see if you truly like someone, or if someone truly liked you, is the safest option one can get, because it could serve as evidence, and people only trust what they see.
Jeno is not very into the notion, because hey, technology can be wrong.
"Wait what! Are you serious?" Mark questioned, looking at them with wide eyes.
"Of course! You should have seen his face. God, he was so shocked he started crying, I actually feel bad for him." Donghyuck shook his head.
Jisung, who arrived just in time with Jaemin to hear the last part of the conversation, interrupted, "Wait, Yijoon did? Assuming you guys are talking about what went down this morning, of course." and placed himself beside Mark, and Jaemin sat in front of him.
"Yeah it’s about that. Plus Dongjin's glare wasn't exactly a big help." Chenle shrugged, taking another bite of his food.
"Oh god, I feel so bad for him." Mark continued, his eyebrows furrowing deep in thoughts.
"This is why I said the alarm is a bad idea." Jeno chimed in, and shrugged when the rest of his friends rolled their eyes at his comment, which is actually a frequent statement that came out of him whenever they had a conversation about the alarm. They knew Jeno is not the biggest fan of Love Alarm, but that surely didn’t stop them from trying to convince him to install it.
"We all know Dongjin was the one forcing him to be together anyways."
"Chenle!" Jaemin gasped, looking around to see if anyone heard him. If anyone did and the words got back to Dongjin, they’re done for. Jeno heard (courtesy to Donghyuck, of course) he did things that forced someone to drop out after they mentioned about Dongjin forcing Yijoon to be with him, so angering Dongjin is definitely not a good idea.
Jaemin continued to lecture Chenle about his mouth filter while Jisung and Mark got into a conversation of their own.
"Where's Renjun by the way?" Donghyuck suddenly asked and all of their conversations halted, as they turned to look at Jeno expectedly.
Jeno, startled by the sudden attention, stops munching on his food, and looks at Donghyuck with a blank face, "Why are you looking at me like that." greeted with silence, he continued, "Should I know where he is?"
"No, but you do, don't you?" Jaemin looks at him, smiling smugly and all of them snicker.
Jeno rolled his eyes and shoved another piece of galbi to his mouth before mumbling out, "A professor wanted to talk to him about his project."
Hearing that, his friends laughed and Jeno could feel his face getting warmer and he wished the ground would swallow him up. Their dorm building is literally placed beside each other, so it’s only natural that they would walk to class together on days they both have classes.
Jeno is also guilty of acting like he had morning classes sometimes just to walk Renjun to class, but no one has to know that.
Anyways, it’s that one rare Wednesday where all of them don’t have an 8 am class so they would always meet up to eat breakfast together, so yes, he did meet Renjun this morning and know where he is going instead of getting breakfast.
“I swear to god the two of you act more like a couple than Yijoon and Dongjin do.” Donghyuck tsk-ed, giving Jeno a knowing look. And oh, does Jeno know exactly what he’s implying.
Jeno settled with a quick “Shut up.” and a kick to Donghyuck's shin, which caused him to yelp and throw a glare at Jeno.
“Text him and ask when is he coming. I have something to give him.” Jaemin’s words earned a questioning look from everyone around the table.
“Why don’t you just text him yourself?” Jisung questioned, and Jaemin rolled his eyes, before lifting his phone up, “It’s dead.”
“He isn’t.” Jeno replied, curious about what the thing could be. “He said he’s directly going to his next class. He’s coming to lunch though.”
Jaemin nods and mouths an “Oh”, having an understanding look. “What?” he continued, when all of them were still silently looking at him.
“What thing?” Donghyuck asked, leaning forward towards Jaemin, almost knocking over Mark’s food. Jaemin smiles knowingly, and looked at Jeno when he replied,
“Lee Dohyun.”
Hearing the name, everyone just loses it and starts bombarding Jaemin with questions. From his friends’ immense excited voices, Jeno could briefly grasp what the whole situation is about.
Of course.
Of course the university most eligible bachelor; top of the class, handsome, tall, rich. A freaking well known actor. And basically everything you expect the most sought after bachelor to be, will fall for Renjun, who’s so out of Jeno's league.
He tuned out the rest of their conversations, desperately wishing he was anywhere but here, and tried to continue eating despite him already losing his appetite. But he couldn't, so he just stared at his galbi.
Great. Everything is going just great.
—♡—
“Jeno!”
Jeno smiled and raised his hand for a short wave. Renjun ran towards him and looped his arms around Jeno's, and he made it feel so natural it made Jeno’s heart stutter.
Deep breathe.
“Let’s go, Jaemin has been texting me for 30 minutes asking where we’re at,. I already told him I have class until 1:30!” Renjun huffed and Jeno smiled.
He loves this. He loves the way Renjun holds his arm as if it's his, the way Renjun tells him about his day, the way Renjun talks about anything that comes to his mind and the way his eyes lit up every time he talked about something that caught his interest. He especially loves listening to Renjun. He loves the way even if Renjun tends to walk fast with little skips, he never lets go of Jeno's arm that he's holding when they walk together and the way he matches with Jeno's steps. He loves the way Renjun asks him about his day, and the way he listens to everything Jeno says attentively. He's not much of a talker but with Renjun, he feels like he could talk all day long and still have so much to say the next day. He also loves the comfortable silence they share when they are not talking, as if appreciating the way the other is just there beside them. He just loves everything about Renjun.
Jeno hasn't known Renjun for long, going in three years precisely this year, but oftentimes, it would feel like they have known each other their whole life, and the life before that.
It made Jeno dream of what is impossible, because like this, it feels like he already got everything he has ever wanted.
Willing himself to calm down from his thoughts and feelings, Jeno chuckled. "Then let's not keep them waiting."
The soft grin Renjun sent his way made his inside erupted with butterflies, and God, he could die right then and there and have no regrets. “Let’s go.” Renjun tugged Jeno's arm softly.
They walked in silence for a few seconds while Renjun took his phone out, typing with one hand. With his other arm still firmly looped around Jeno's, he let him lead their way.
“How was your day?” Renjun started after putting his phone into his pocket.
“Great. Professor Do told us some pointers for the midterm.”
“That’s nice, I wish Prof Kim would tell us some.” Renjun sighed and Jeno chuckled, “I’m sure you will do well still.”
“I hope so.” Renjun replied, still looking worried. Jeno smiled to himself, and ruffled Renjun's hair which made the said person yelp, “I didn’t wash my hair this morning!”
Hearing that, Jeno laughed. He doesn’t really care about that though, which is what he tells Renjun, “I don’t mind.”
“Well I do.” Renjun said and mumbled out something Jeno didn’t get to hear.
“What was that?” Jeno asked when Renjun just continued to mumble quietly to himself.
“Nothing.” He denies quickly. “Anyways, how did your assignment go? The one you said you weren’t confident with how it turned out?”
“I guess it went better than I expected. I got full marks.” Jeno shrugged, and laughed when Renjun pulled them to a stop, slapping his arm yelling, “I knew it!”
Renjun then got on his tiptoes to pat Jeno's head softly and Jeno held his breath. Smiling, Renjun then said, “Good job, I knew you could do it.”
They stayed like that for a few seconds, just looking at each other, before Renjun's phone started ringing and the moment was interrupted.
Renjun took out his phone to check, and let out another sigh, “It's Donghyuck this time, let’s go.” Intertwining his fingers around Jeno’s, Renjun led him towards their meeting place.
As expected, their conversation during lunch was centred around the topic of Lee Dohyun wanting to make Renjun acquaintance. They were encouraging him to go on one date at least, and it made Jeno question all of his friends' loyalty, because where did the people who were rooting for him to confess just a month ago? Guess they are all gone now to support Renjun with Lee Dohyun instead of Lee Jeno. He obviously didn’t join in, too upset to even think properly now that it is all in the open, and continued to cut his tonkatsu (quite aggressively, his friends noted at the side).
The sound of someone clearing their throat brings Jeno back to their conversation, and he notices everyone is staring at him, clearly amused.
Jeno stops cutting his tonkatsu, giving them a nonchalant look, “What is it?”
“Are you feeling okay?” Renjun tilted his head, looking at Jeno with concern.
Jeno gave him a smile, “Yes, of course. What was it again?”
Renjun turns to look at their friends, before facing Jeno again.
“I asked what do you think about Lee Dohyun? About us going out?”
Everyone was silently looking at him expectantly to hear his answer.
Jeno doesn’t know what to do. He’s really, really, tempted to say his actual thoughts which consist of simple words of, “No, I don't think you should go out with him.” But Jeno is not ready for the question “Why” if he answered that, so all that came out was;
“I think he is cool. Talented and all. You should give him a chance.”
And he felt like punching himself, because what was that?
His friends went from looking at him expectantly, to looking at him in disappointment, complete with the image of them rolling their eyes and shaking their head. He also briefly saw a flicker of disappointment in Renjun’s eyes, but it went away so quickly Jeno wondered if he was tricking himself.
Renjun turned away from Jeno, before looking straight at Jaemin.
“I will go.”
His friends cheered, and Jeno felt another crack forming in his already broken heart.
—♡—
Over the next few weeks, Jeno was swamped with his midterms, more classes, then the need to immediately focus on his finals.
All this busyness however turned into a blessing because he did not have to keep up with Renjun’s “dates” with Lee Dohyun. He still got updates of it from his friends (and from the man himself once), but Jeno who didn’t even have enough time to sleep could not dwell on it too much (which is why he is thankful of course).
From what he could gather, Renjun has gone to two dates so far due to Lee Dohyun’s busy schedule as an actor. And from the bits he heard, Renjun is definitely having a good time. Jeno is of course, happy that Renjun is happy, but it doesn’t subdue the sadness Jeno felt. He knows he has no rights, but still.
He was just enjoying his first post-final day, when Donghyuck texted him saying he and Jaemin had something urgent to discuss with him, and they have to see him as soon as possible. Worried something bad has happened, Jeno called him to ask what is going on, to which Donghyuck replied with, “You are at the dorm right? I will tell you later, we’re almost there.”
A few minutes later, he heard a knock on his door and immediately went to open it. The words that came out of Donghyuck’s mouth the second he opened his door is making him really tempted to shut the door back again,
“How is our favourite second lead doing?”
And he already did halfway before Jaemin’s foot stopped the door from closing completely. Accepting that there is nothing that will stop them anyways, he just let it be. Both of them stepped in and took a seat on the floor right in the middle of Jeno’s room. They patted the space between them, asking Jeno to join them. Hesitantly, Jeno took a seat.
"So, Jeno, have you decided to abandon your foolish belief and finally install love alarm?" Donghyuck starts, both him and Jaemin are giving Jeno an expectant look.
Jeno looked at the both of them, confused. "No?"
"Come on! Aren’t you curious about your feelings?"
Jeno rolled his eyes. His friends can be a little too much sometimes. "I know my feelings well enough, thank you very much."
"Still! the alarm is like a confirmation somehow." Donghyuck urged, with Jaemin nodding persistently on the other side of him.
"Still a hard no."
"You said you don’t know how to confess right? This is one of the best ways to. You don’t even have to talk." Jaemin chimed in.
Jeno looks at them with an incredulous look, "I still have to after I ring it, no?"
"Just say you're scared Renjun isn't going to ring yours."
Jeno knows Donghyuck is mocking him, but he was so done he couldn’t help but let the truth slip up.
"So what if I am."
Donghyuck and Jaemin look at each other before letting out a sigh. And Jeno knows exactly what those sighs mean.
"Jeno,” Donghyuck started. “You know what, I’m just going to straight up tell you because we are all done looking at you beating yourself up over this. We are graduating soon, and I know we always say we're gonna keep in touch and everything, but there's no guarantee to that. Life might get in the way and the next time you hear from him might be the time he is sending his wedding invitation."
"That's a little too far-fetched." Jeno argues weakly.
Donghyuck shrugged, "It's a possibility."
"I just… don't think I can handle it." If he rejects me, Jeno adds quietly to himself. There’s a lot at stake here, Renjun is one of his bestfriend, has been for the past three years, and the one at risk is not just his friendship with Renjun but also their whole friend group.
"You can. Believe in yourself. And next year? Forget it, you won't even have time to think about why he isn't answering your calls." Jaemin continues.
Jeno sighs. He just finished his finals yesterday, and obviously with winter vacation starting next week, he officially has nothing to do. He knows there's no way out of this. And Jeno thinks Donghyuck and Jaemin has been waiting for this specific period of time to push him to deal with his feelings, so he replied with the best answer he can think of,
"I'll think about it."
"You better." Donghyuck rolls his eyes, and takes out his phone that has been ringing non stop for the past two minutes (Jaemin is in the same situation). Just when Jeno thought the conversation was over, with his eyes trained on his phone, Donghyuck continued.
"And uh, you better think fast. Because Chenle just texted me, and” He turned to look at Jeno ominously. “apparently Dohyun just rang Renjun's alarm."
Damn it.
That night, Jeno lay in his bed and thinks. Now that he has no academic stuff to think about, he realized how empty his days are. All of his friends had contacted him personally to ask if he is okay, even Renjun texted him to ask if he is going to lunch tomorrow. But he couldn’t bring himself to reply to anyone – yes, even Renjun – so he just continues to think.
Dohyun ringing Renjun's alarm probably came as a surprise to no one. After all, they already had something going on, and they had been to two dates already. What’s surprising is him using the alarm to confess. Since he is a well-known actor, he was forbidden by his agency to install it due to privacy reasons (unlike Jeno who refused just because he is a coward that is afraid of rejection). So in this world where love itself is centred around the alarm, Dohyun installing it to confess is a big deal. And that means he is very serious about Renjun, and Jeno might just lose his chance to confess ever.
Jeno quietly wonders if Renjun ringed his too.
—♡—
It was a clear day before it started pouring in the afternoon. Renjun was looking out of the cafeteria window, food untouched as he waited for his friends to arrive. The cafeteria which was usually full with students is empty today — probably because of the rain — aside from Renjun and a few people.
He just finished his last paper for finals, and the alone time he is getting now after weeks of busyness is greatly appreciated. But alone time also means he could finally process his thoughts. He was rushing to edit his assignment last night that he didn’t have time to process that Dohyun had confessed to him, with the alarm no less. Expectedly, from Renjun’s side of course, Dohyun’s alarm did not receive any notification. But even with that, he just looks at Renjun with a smile, and asks him to think about it before giving an answer, which leads them to today.
Renjun was, of course, flattered that someone as good as Dohyun likes him. But he realized that even after the multiple dates and their time spent together, he just doesn’t feel the same way. So today, he will tell Dohyun his answer clearly that he is not interested in him romantically to save everyone’s time.
Ding.
Renjun looked at his phone, and his screen shows the notification from Love Alarm,
Someone within a 10m radius loves you.
Confused, he looked up to see if Dohyun was around, but instead he was greeted by the sight of Jeno standing frozen a few tables away, gripping his tray tightly. And is Renjun hallucinating or does he look… terrified?
But why though?
He raised his hand in case Jeno didn't see him, and just as he is about to call out to Jeno, his phone let out another ding, and the text on the notification changed to;
2 people within a 10m radius love you.
He heard Dohyun before he saw him, and he turned around to see him walking into the cafeteria, talking to Mark. He looked at his phone again, and the text was still glaring at him. He took another look around the cafeteria and no one was particularly paying attention to him, why is it showing two then? Is his love alarm app glitching? His eyes landed on Jeno who was sporting an unreadable look, and it seems like he's thinking hard about something, before he took another look at Renjun, and turned around to leave.
Renjun immediately stood up, then it clicked.
Jeno.
Jeno who is already out of the cafeteria.
He looked at his phone and the notification on his phone screen changed to,
Someone within a 10m radius loves you.
His heart dropped, and the only thing he could hear was the thunder that was booming outside.
No way.
—♡—
Damn it. Damn it.
Returning the tray that is still full with his food, Jeno rushed out of the cafeteria, ignoring Mark calling his name. The rain halted Jeno from executing his running plan, and he immediately took out his phone to make sure what happened just now, really did happen.
“What the fuck did you guys do,” Jeno mumbled to himself, and lo and behold, there it is, the Love Alarm app glaring at him. He closed his eyes, and breathe out,
“Fuck.”
How did he not notice that? When did those brat even install the app?
And what is he supposed to do now?
Taking a deep breath, the first thing that came to his mind was of course, uninstalling the app. Once he did that, he couldn’t help his curiosity so he turned around, just in time to see Renjun talking to Mark and Dohyun before taking his bag and turning to look straight at Jeno.
Jeno cursed. He has not prepared for this… conversation. He can’t do it yet.
He could faintly hear Renjun calling his name under the sounds of the rain and thunderstorm, but at this moment, he could not bear to even look at him. So he did the one thing he knew that had always helped him tremendously.
He ran.
—♡—
That night until the next day, Renjun tried to reach out to Jeno with no avail. He tried calling and texting him but didn't get any reply, which in itself is very unusual because no matter how busy Jeno gets, he will always at least inform Renjun that he will be busy for the whole day.
It’s like Jeno just completely disappeared from his life, and it scares Renjun. So he turned to his friends for help, telling them everything.
Once he was done telling them, everyone just looked at him, dumbfounded. (Minus Donghyuck and Jaemin who is giving each other a knowing look, that immediately turned to guilt.)
Mark was the one that broke the silence.
"All that happened the minute before I came?"
"Yeah,” Renjun sighed, “Maybe I should have stopped him immediately. But I was so shocked I couldn't think much."
“It’s okay Renjun, it's not your fault,” Jaemin assured him, but Renjun just felt like crying. None of his friends have heard from Jeno, and everything felt so wrong.
“Did you check his dorm yet?” Chenle suddenly questioned, and Renjun turned to look at him. “He might be there, it’s not like he has anywhere to be.”
Why didn’t I thought of that? Renjun mentally reprimand himself.
“I haven’t…” he quietly answered.
When everyone is suddenly looking at him in disbelief, Renjun tried to defend himself, “I couldn’t think properly okay!” But all he got is in return is his friends snickering.
Donghyuck stood up and start to push Renjun to the doors, “Well then what are you waiting for, go get your man!”
“I’m still in my pajamas!” Renjun yelled, so Donghyuck turned to push Renjun to the bathroom. “Okay go get ready first!”
Once Renjun finished getting ready, he turned to his friends, feeling extremely nervous about the whole situation. They gave him thumbs up as encouragement in turn, so gathering his courage, Renjun makes his way towards Jeno. He reached Jeno’s dorm in less than 5 minutes, and Renjun couldn’t help himself and took out his phone to see if he got any notification from the alarm.
None.
Gingerly putting his phone back into his pocket, Renjun wondered if he got the wrong idea yesterday.
Maybe it’s not Jeno after all?
His thoughts are going to be the end of him one day, really. But Renjun refuses to dwell on that much longer, so he gently knocks on the door and calls out, “Jeno!”
He waited for a few minutes and when it seemed like there was no movement from the inside, he knocked again, before taking out his phone again to call Jeno. He should have done that first, he mentally scold himself. Instantly, he heard the familiar ring of Jeno’s phone from the inside of the room, and sighed.
So Jeno is actually avoiding him.
Renjun could actually just enter the room right now because he knows the password, used to coming here to help Jeno pick up the stuff he forgot, or simply hang out. But after what happened yesterday (or rather, what he thought had happened) he doesn’t think it is right for him to enter it like he did before.
“Jeno, open the door please. I need to talk to you.” He knocked again, a little louder this time but still got no response. So Renjun called him again, and he heard the same ringing inside.
Raising his hand to knock again, the sound of someone coughing from the inside stopped Renjun for a moment.
“Jeno? Are you in there?” He called out, getting no response again. He sighed, “Jeno,” he knocked once again, “I’m sorry. If you want me to go, I will. But let’s talk soon okay?”
When he did not get any response, Renjun silently wiped his eyes. He didn’t even realized when he had started crying. This is the first time Jeno had ignored him in the three years they have known each other. It hurts and, he had no idea how to deal with it. But Renjun have faith in them, so he turned to walk away, before he heard another cough. And he slowly put two and two together.
Jeno who was running in the rain yesterday. Jeno who doesn’t really get sick, so when he does, it’s the worst.
Worried something might have happen to Jeno, he turned back around and knock once again. “Jeno, are you okay?” Renjun anxiously waited for a moment, and when he didn’t hear anything, he knocked again, “If you don’t reply, I will come in.”
When he heard another round of coughing instead of an answer, Renjun frantically enter the password he knew by heart and push the door open. The sight that greeted him almost make him pass out.
Jeno is here in this room alright, and he is unconscious, shaking under his blanket.
Renjun immediately ran up to him and try to shake him awake, “Jeno. Jeno can you hear me?” He put the back of his hand on Jeno’s forehead and good lord, he definitely has a fever.
“Jeno, baby. Please. Can you hear me?” Renjun begged.
Getting even more nervous because Jeno is still not responding to him, Renjun took out his phone to call 119. The sound of Jeno’s coughing turn Renjun’s attention back to him, and he could see Jeno trying to open his eyes.
Gently placing his hand on Jeno’s cheek, Renjun caressed it with his thumb softly and tried his best to give Jeno a smile, “Hey, are you up? How are you feeling?”
“Bad.” Jeno mumbled, his eyes watery as he tried to adjust to the lights.
“Wait, let me–”
Jeno suddenly raised his hand and cup Renjun’s cheek, and that halted Renjun’s action.
“I don’t think I can stay being friends with you for now, Renjun.” He rasped out, “It will hurt too much.”
Confused, Renjun put his hand over Jeno’s.
“What are y–”
“I don’t want to hear about your dates with anyone. Not then, not now, not ever.”
And before Renjun could reply, Jeno pass out again.
Sighing, Renjun sent a message to their groupchat to let them know about Jeno’s condition, and immediately ordered some porridge. Jeno needed to eat before taking his medicine, especially because the side effects from medicines always seem to hit him extra hard. Renjun went out to get Jeno some medicine when he could not find any in Jeno’s room, and Jeno is still sleeping when he got back.
Once the porridge arrived, Renjun woke Jeno up to get some food into him before taking the medicine. It was hard to force Jeno to wake up and eat, but Renjun managed it (finally) after some coaxing.
Jeno fell asleep again soon after and Renjun took a seat on the floor, thinking about what he said before.
<3
The second time Jeno woke up was when Renjun was sitting on the floor, doing the puzzle he found in Jeno’s closet.
“Renjunnie… Is that you?”
Hearing his name, Renjun look up to see Jeno looking at him with a pout.
“Yes Jeno, it’s me. How are you feeling?”
Jeno frowned, “Can I get a hug? I feel cold.”
Feeling extremely weak over Jeno sulking, Renjun walked over to give him a hug, and when he was about to let go and ask Jeno to lay down properly, he heard him whisper.
“If you want to go on a date, can’t I be the one to go with you?”
Shocked, because this is not the way he expect any of their conversation to go today, Renjun let go of their hug and pushed Jeno away slightly to look at his face. With his bloodshot watery eyes, he look like he is going to burst into tears in any moment. He definitely does not seem like he knows what he is talking about, and Renjun don’t want to have this conversation when he is like this either.
“We will talk about it later, okay?” Renjun tries to coax him into laying back down but Jeno resisted,
“No, I want to talk about this now.”
“Later.” Renjun gave him a stern look and Jeno just pout harder before he dropped himself onto the bed and fell asleep again immediately after.
—♡—
Jeno woke up to smell of something delicious, and he could feel how hungry he is. Adjusting his eyes to the lights, he sit up and felt stiff all over his body, but he definitely feel better than the last time he remember he was awake.
“You’re up?” Jeno was immediately greeted by Renjun’s voice, and he turned to the sight of him setting the table. “Come here and eat, the others just dropped this off and it's getting cold.”
Silently taking a seat on the floor, Jeno continued to watch Renjun. “Drink up,” Renjun handed him a glass of water and Jeno took it with a small, “Thank you.”
While eating dinner, Renjun told Jeno about the puzzle he found in Jeno’s closet and how he completed it already. Jeno sat there and quietly listen to Renjun’s story, and he can’t help but wonder, what is going on?
Renjun is not asking him about what happened yesterday. Does that mean Renjun think it is not Jeno? That it was probably just some other people that liked Renjun too?
Jeno should feel relieved but oddly, he feels suffocated.
“Why did you eat so little, you need to eat more to regain your energy.” Renjun continued to push the side dishes towards Jeno.
Jeno thanked him, and continue to eat. He will just shut his mouth because he doesn't know how to start that conversation anyways.
It can wait.
“So,” Renjun started. “Is there anything you would like to tell me?”
Jeno almost choked on his food, and Renjun hand him another glass of water.
“No?” Renjun questioned, and Jeno immediately shook his head.
The thought that maybe Renjun is talking about the alarm did pass his mind, but rationally, Renjun didn’t even know Jeno (more like Donghyuck and Jaemin) had installed the alarm, so maybe it is impossible for him to ask about that, Jeno tried to calm himself down.
“Well,” Renjun’s voice bring Jeno’s attention to him, “I actually do have something to tell you,”
Worried it’s about something bad, Jeno looks at him to see if there is anything out of place, “Are you okay?”
“Fantastic, actually.” Renjun gave Jeno an unsure smile, before he took a deep breath and his eyes lit up in determination. “About yesterday,” Jeno avoided his eyes, dreading where this is going already.
Renjun is really asking about yesterday, guess it can’t wait.
Oblivious to Jeno’s internal conflict, Renjun continued his question anyways, “Why did you suddenly leave the cafeteria?”
“I forgot something,” Jeno immediately replied.
“What did you forget?”
“Something,” Jeno replied, still refusing to look into Renjun’s eyes.
“You are not lying?”
Jeno shook his head vehemently, “Of cou–”
“Jeno,” Renjun cut him off, “Someone at the cafeteria rang my alarm yesterday.”
Looking down at his hand, Jeno let out an “Oh.”
“Is that all you have to say about it?”
Jeno looked at Renjun, who was looking at him in frustration.
“What else am I supposed to say?”
“Do you not want to know who it is?”
“Does it matter?” Jeno replies, defeated.
“Of course it does! Because it’s you, isn’t it?”
Hearing that Jeno immediately closed his eyes. He couldn't bring himself to deny it. Despite having no expectation for Renjun returning his feelings, Jeno couldn’t help but hope for something more. So it’s going to take him some time to actually come to terms wi–
“Lee Jeno,” Renjun’s voice bring him back to their conversation, and Jeno held his breath.
“I’ve liked you since we first know each other.”
What.
What?
“What.” Jeno blurted out, and Renjun look at him with a shaky smile.
“I used to think it was a simple crush, that it was normal to have a crush on your friend who is a little bit too attractive, and little too nice to you.” A pause, “I thought it would eventually go away once we got to know each other more.” Renjun let out a humorless laugh, “But it didn't. Over the years, my feelings for you only grew so much that I eventually have no idea how to contain it anymore.”
“What happened yesterday gave me hope, that maybe my feelings for you are not a lost cause. So I came here today to ask you about it. To know for sure if it was really you.” Renjun sighed. “But the whole time I’m here, my alarm didn't ring at all, so I guessed I had my answer.” He took a deep breathe, “But you said something about going on a date with you while you were half asleep which confused me again, I don–”
“I’ve always liked you,” Jeno interrupted. When Renjun look at him, startled, Jeno took a deep breath before continuing, “I don’t even remember when or how. Just that at some point, I realized that liking you has become a second nature to me. That I could not imagine living a day without you. I wanted to see you everyday, I want to be the reason for your smile. I want to hold your hands, and to hug you without feeling guilty about my feelings. I want to take you on dates, and tell you how much I like you.”
Teary-eyed, Renjun looked at him, “Why didn’t you ever tell me.”
“I was scared. Of a lot of things.” Jeno sighed, “You not reciprocating my feelings is one thing, me ruining our friendship with my feelings is another. You’re,” he took a deep breathe, “you’re too important for me to lose just because I couldn’t help falling in love with you.”
“Oh Jeno,” Renjun move forward to engulf Jeno into a hug, resting his head on top of Jeno’s and Jeno buried his head in the crook of Renjun’s neck.
“I’m sorry for not telling you about my feelings sooner. I was scared too, of losing you.” Renjun sobbed, and Jeno tighten his arms around his waist.
Both of them stayed quietly in each other arms, just taking in each other’s presence. Renjun’s phone ringing bring them out of their little bubble.
“Hey,” Renjun answered when he saw it was Donghyuck calling him. Renjun looked at Jeno for a moment, giving him a smile, “Yeah, he is okay now.” A pause, and he wiped his tears, “I'll talk to you later, bye.”
Renjun hung up and put his phone on top of the table before turning to Jeno, “He was asking about your condition.”
“Oh,” Jeno paused, and cleared his throat before asking the question that has been on his mind since Renjun told him,
“Renjun, do you really… really like me?”
Hearing that, Renjun smiled and look at him adoringly, “Lee Jeno, I literally just told you that. I can’t believe you are doubting me,” Renjun shook his head when Jeno was about to protest, “I should be the one asking you that. You did not ring my alarm once since I got here.”
“I uninstalled the alarm.” Jeno confessed, and Renjun looked at him in question, “When I realized your alarm ringed because of me yesterday, it scared me half to death. So I uninstalled it as soon as I got out. I couldn’t even think whether you ring my alarm or not.”
"Really?" Renjun asked, and Jeno nodded.
Jeno could see a flicker of amusement in Renjun’s eyes as he continued to talk, “You talk so much about people being too dependent on the alarm, when you are the one who still could not believe me when I confess to you myself.”
Jeno doesn't have it in himself to deny it, because yes, he knows that’s a fact. So he just opt to look at Renjun.
Renjun silently caresses Jeno’s cheek, “You didn’t realize I have never ringed anyone’s alarm?”
Suddenly having that realization, Jeno needed a moment to gather his thoughts. For someone who spent a lot of time paying attention to Renjun, Jeno is flabbergasted he had never notice that.
“Well, I’ve never. You’re literally the reason why I have it in the first place.”
Confused, Jeno looked at him in question, “Really?”
Renjun nodded, “I thought if I installed it too, you will finally give in and we can ring each others alarm.” he laughed a little, “Guess it still ended up working that way.”
Still in shock, Jeno could only look at Renjun in disbelief. Looking at his expression, Renjun smiled, “But the alarm shouldn’t be the only proof that I like you Jeno, because I really, really do.”
Gripped by emotions, Jeno could neither move nor speak. It's like his whole body is frozen and the only thing that keep repeating in his mind is;
Renjun likes me! He said he likes me! Renjun likes me!
After a few moments of silence, Renjun stood up, and Jeno’s eyes immediately followed his movement. “Well, since you have nothing to say and you’re all better now, I should take my leave.”
Hearing that, Jeno immediately wrapped his hand around Renjun’s wrist to stop him from going.
“I’m sorry, I was being stupid.”
Renjun raised an eyebrow, “Really? You think that’s what I want to hear from you?”
Jeno tugged Renjun’s arms a little, silently asking him to sit back down. Renjun intertwined their hands together before bringing their hands up, giving the back of Jeno's hand a kiss.
It made Jeno feel all warm inside and he could feel himself blushing so he looked down.
“It’s just,” he took a deep breath, “everything feels surreal, because I’ve never considered the possibility of you liking me back.” Jeno finished, still couldn't find it in himself to look at Renjun.
Just then, Renjun let go of his hand to cup his cheeks so Jeno is facing him. Then suddenly he moved his fingers to pinch Jeno's cheeks instead.
“Guess I have to show you how much I really, really like you more from now on so you will believe me.”
Jeno laughed. Because he intends to do that too. To shower Renjun with so much love, without feeling guilty of his feelings.
—♡—
EPILOGUE
“How are our lovebirds doing?” Donghyuck cheered as soon as Renjun and Jeno walked into his apartment that he shared with Mark and Chenle.
Renjun shushed him, but Jeno just grinned and raised their intertwined hand instead.
“So good.”
Renjun playfully pushed him away with their hands, and Jeno laughed, showing his eye-smile that Renjun loves so much.
“Okay enough.” Chenle faked a shudder, “Should have expected you guys are going to be worse once you got together.”
“At least we don’t have to deal with their longing looks towards each other anymore,” Jaemin decided to join in the teasing.
Renjun rolled his eyes, “We’re not even that bad.”
“Oh you guys have no idea,” Jisung started and the rest of their friends also started to protest against Renjun loudly.
Jeno then covers Renjun’s ears with his hands, and Renjun turns to look at Jeno who is looking at him in amusement. He gave Jeno a smile, in which he returned. At that moment, he could faintly hear their friends protesting even louder, but Renjun does not care, nor does Jeno. All they care about is the fact that both of them are in this moment, right here, together.
“Guys, guys.” Mark decided to step in to placate them, “We can continue the teasing later.” He turned towards Renjun and Jeno, “Take a seat already, we have a trip to plan.”
“Can’t I go on a solo trip with Renjun instead?”
“Lee Jeno!”