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School sucks, it was that simple. To be fair, it always has
It was full of boring people, that always wanted something. An Instagram post, being invited to a party, an internship with Darth Vader. Always something. So i stopped trying.
I had promised myself that i was going to do everything i could to make this school experience better, be friendly but not too friendly - i didn’t need to get too close to anyone.- But after a couple of weeks, the tension that i had been holding in my chest for my entire life was also starting to relax a little. EWS didn’t suck that much. I was studying what i liked, and the people was ok. I could get used to this.
Then Okane show up.
He was a douche, don’t get me wrong, but a pretty one. I leaned back against the chair, trying to look as removed and aloof as possible, even though my heart was racing a million miles a minute. Then he asked if i need it money, and i wanted him to go to hell. It was bad enough that my own father cut me off, i didn’t need anyone to know, and the passive joke caught me completely out of guard. But then i saw him sing, and it looked like he was something completely out of this world.
He found my spot up the roof, he gave my tie back, and when i looked at his eyes, i felt lightheaded, but then he asked if i was going to kiss him, who did he think he was? The only person more cocky than him the i know of was me. Of course i wasn't going to kiss him. Was i thinking about it? Of course, but i would never do it. He offered a cigarette and i take the slightest inhale of it, because i was never done this before and the last thing i want to do is start choking or coughing and embarrass myself. i did it anyway, but it was chill. We talked a lot that day.
The more time we got together, the more natural it felt. The jokes, we made incredible music, he didn’t see me like just another rich prick, that helped. But the Jana thing happened and i guessed the i was the only one who felt something more. And it sucked. It looked like the whole school started to suck.
God why i was like this?
The days started to seem kind of pointless, i was alone again, and the whole Esteban situation was getting in my nerves. On top of that, Andi was driving me crazy asking for pills. Everything sucked. I was alone on the roof. Again. Until he showed up. Acting like nothing happened. My plan was confronting him and get the hell out of there. Until he started to speak. And put that necklace in my hand, say everything he said. And i was a goner.
When the presentation happened, i was a train wreck. The plan was scaring the living shit out of me. But i wasn’t going to back down. All the time they were singing, i was basically shaking. I knew what was about to happen. And when i walked to him, all the stress that i was feeling throughout this week, vanish. It felt so fucking right. Kissing him. I felt the tips of his fingers touch me everywhere. And i was hot all around, the whole crowd seem to disappear.
And every time we hang out after that, there was only one thing in my mind: kissing him. It was all i was thinking about, in classes, at work –that i was finding less stupid every day-, when i has at his room talking about my plan to ruin Esteban to Darth Vader. I felt like I could talk to him about anything. Which was scary, since I never felt this way about anyone.
Until the party came, and everything seems to have changed. One moment we were hangin' out at the party, the next moment we were in my dad's stupid secret room. And seeing him there took my breath away. Him, in a spot I knew so well. We were talking, until one moment, he was kissing me. I felt like I was floating again, just like in the performance. Until everything got hot, and I was taking off his shirt and he was taking mine.
He pushed me onto the couch and everything became a blur, hands everywhere, it felt like my lungs were going to give up on me at any second. All i could think about was him, the tattoos, the cold of the chains they wore, him, him, him. It was consuming me.
It all came crashing down when Andi said he'd given her the pills. Was it all a lie? The idea of New York, the night in the secret room, everything? I was walking out of school because of the Gus shit and Okane had used me for the plan. I couldn't believe.
he was trying to explain, but nothing helped, I just wanted revenge on Gus. And I knew how. I just didn't count that he was a complete psychopath and was going to throw me off that roof. And all I could think about during the fall was that I hoped Okane would get rid of this lunatic.
And then I woke up. In a cold bed and full of fear. Fear of being alone in this hospital, fear of having fucked myself in the fall. Until I saw him. On the side of my bed holding my fucking tie. As soon as he saw me opening my eyes, he stood up to me. Apologizing to me by explaining everything that had happened while I was out. Gus was gone. And he liked me. A lot. All i thought about was kissing him, but those stupid tubes wouldn't let me. The nurses came in and did dozens of awful tests on me, until they told me I was ok. And he didn't leave my side for a second.
When we got back to school, everything was fine, my dad had made the accusation against Esteban disappear. Gus was gone and Celina was back. And best of all, he was by my side. And I felt that finally, he was completely there. No lies, no plans, no stupid pills. Just him and me.
And the school didn’t suck anymore